rana79
February 20th, 2006, 06:11 PM
Apologising is not an easy task. You will probably get defensive before you finally admit that you are at fault. Not only does this waste time, it can also strain the relationship.
Taking responsibility for your hurtful actions is an essential step toward restoring peace. Having the courage to admit you are wrong is a sign of strength not weakness. An honest apology from the heart signifies you cherish your relationship. In an ideal world, love means never having to say you're sorry. But in the real world, true love means being able to say you're sorry in a sincere way when you make a mistake.
An apology is ruined if you say it without really meaning it. A stiff apology filled with excuses is even worse. There is great power in an apology. A genuine admittance of your faults can heal wounds, strengthen your relationship and transform an ugly situation into a beautiful one. However, the power is twofold. A botched apology can lead to resentment, distrust and life-long grudges.
Unless you understand how to effectively deliver and express an apology, both through your verbal and nonverbal actions, your true intentions will remain in the dark. Sometimes the best intentions can lead you in the worst situations because of these unconscious and even incongruent messages.
Your tone of voice and body language speak louder than words. You may be saying you're sorry, but rolling your eyes and using a sarcastic tone conveys a different message. Once you've found the courage to face up to your faults and fix your wrongdoing, don't mess it up. Open your eyes and become aware of what your whole body is saying.
Apologies are usually the predecessors of inconsiderate actions. One of the worst ways to sabotage your good intentions is to ignore the timing. You may be ready to get the words off your chest, but the other person may not be ready to hear it.
Just like you wouldn't ask for a raise after you just got screamed at for being late, don't ask for forgiveness when your partner is fuming with anger. Anger usually simmers down a few degrees if you give it a little time. Sometimes a little breathing room can make a big difference. Apologising at the right time shows you care and are aware how your actions have made your partner feel.
The next essential component in an apology is demonstrating true regret or remorse. You've been bucked off your pride horse and are on your knees begging for forgiveness. This should be enough, right? Wrong!
Be contrite. You need to demonstrate contrition and express true remorse for your actions. You also need to offer them security. Give them a clear indication that you understand how much your inconsiderate actions hurt them and that you will never do it again. Let them vent and try not to fight back when they do.
To have the courage to stand up and admit your mistakes shows character. It also shows you value your partner's feelings. Saying sorry is never fun, but never saying it can leave you in pure misery.
Taking responsibility for your hurtful actions is an essential step toward restoring peace. Having the courage to admit you are wrong is a sign of strength not weakness. An honest apology from the heart signifies you cherish your relationship. In an ideal world, love means never having to say you're sorry. But in the real world, true love means being able to say you're sorry in a sincere way when you make a mistake.
An apology is ruined if you say it without really meaning it. A stiff apology filled with excuses is even worse. There is great power in an apology. A genuine admittance of your faults can heal wounds, strengthen your relationship and transform an ugly situation into a beautiful one. However, the power is twofold. A botched apology can lead to resentment, distrust and life-long grudges.
Unless you understand how to effectively deliver and express an apology, both through your verbal and nonverbal actions, your true intentions will remain in the dark. Sometimes the best intentions can lead you in the worst situations because of these unconscious and even incongruent messages.
Your tone of voice and body language speak louder than words. You may be saying you're sorry, but rolling your eyes and using a sarcastic tone conveys a different message. Once you've found the courage to face up to your faults and fix your wrongdoing, don't mess it up. Open your eyes and become aware of what your whole body is saying.
Apologies are usually the predecessors of inconsiderate actions. One of the worst ways to sabotage your good intentions is to ignore the timing. You may be ready to get the words off your chest, but the other person may not be ready to hear it.
Just like you wouldn't ask for a raise after you just got screamed at for being late, don't ask for forgiveness when your partner is fuming with anger. Anger usually simmers down a few degrees if you give it a little time. Sometimes a little breathing room can make a big difference. Apologising at the right time shows you care and are aware how your actions have made your partner feel.
The next essential component in an apology is demonstrating true regret or remorse. You've been bucked off your pride horse and are on your knees begging for forgiveness. This should be enough, right? Wrong!
Be contrite. You need to demonstrate contrition and express true remorse for your actions. You also need to offer them security. Give them a clear indication that you understand how much your inconsiderate actions hurt them and that you will never do it again. Let them vent and try not to fight back when they do.
To have the courage to stand up and admit your mistakes shows character. It also shows you value your partner's feelings. Saying sorry is never fun, but never saying it can leave you in pure misery.