Kahani puri filimy hai....

[panward]

Indian film industry thrives on them. Delivered umpteen times,
uttered in almost every film, nevertheless they haven't lost their
relevance. Love them or hate them you can't not ignore them. Here
are some of the most cliched dialouges from Bollywood:

1. Apney hathiyaar phenk do.

2. Agar bhaagney ki koshish ki to main goli maar dunga.

3. Tujhey to main apne haathon se maarunga.

4. Tamaam sabuton aur Gawaahon ke bayanat ke maddenajar, yeh adalat is natijey par pahunchi hai ke mulzim.....

5. Bachao! Bachao! (and when no one comes to rescue).... Bhagwaan ke liye mujhe chhod do.

6. Hindustani ladki yeh sab shadi se pehle nahin karti.

And my personal favourite:

7. Main tumhare bachchey ki Maa banney waali hun.


You can contribute with your favourites as well.

[sansanwalamit]

Kaanoon ke haath bahut lambe hote hain.

Bhagwaan ke ghar der hai andher nahin.

Chulllu bhar paani main doob jaa.

Yeh shaadi nahin ho skati.

[panward]

Ab dawaaon ki nahin, duaon hi zaroorat hai.

I am sorry, hum unhe nahi bacha sake

(This is usually followed by)

Nahiiiiin, yeh nahin hot sakta.

Haan beti haan! Tera suhaag ujad gaya.

[sandeepsomu]

my favorite one is

Ma aaj maine ek trophy jiti
ma roti hui beta aaj tere pita jinda hote to kitne khush hote

[shailendra]

"Tumhaare baanh pae yeh nishaan!?! Bhiyaaaa!...." [what? This silly bruise I got last Friday skipping jail?:o ]

A qualified doctor stating, "Hum kuch nahee kar sakte, ab sab bhagwaan kae haat main hai!" ...... [they should change that to now say,"Ab sab OBC's kae haat main hai! :D ...]

"Naheeeeeeeeeeeeee!" (getting up with a start from the bed), "Bunty,....mughe poora yakeen hai Bunty ko kuch ho gaya hai,.....mughe us kae paas le chalo!" [Holy cow, stop press, next the lady is sure gonna talk about the lucky lotto ticket!]

The new Saas, "Aare karamjalee, tere maa-baap nae kuch nahee sikhaya!?!" ........[yeah well, never watched 'Saas bhi kabhi bahu thee', now did ya, mother-in-law???]

"Tughe meri kasam hai jo kuch kiya to...." and in the very next instant, "Maar!....Maar inhae Vijay, cjhodna matt!" .... (Ok now, would you please make up your mind !?!)

"Tu jaldi sae shaadi kar le aur ek sundar se bahu ghar le aa, pote ko en haaton sai khilana chahtee hun!" ....(apparently that being the obvious progression and reason for the holy matrimony! ;) )

Heroine with dropped eyelids and in a whisper"Papa meri shaadi ek achche ghar mein karna chahte hain!" ....(that's it dude, you may be the hero of the movie, but her old man thinks you are a loser!:D )

[chhillar]

• Kutte mein tera khoon pee jaunga
• Apne kutton se kah do hathiyaar pheink dein...kutta: suna nahin, pheink do
• Idhar se guzar raha tha socha aapko keetab lauta dun
• Mona Darling
• Goonde utha kar le gay
• Lo kallo baat
• Hamein ye rishta manzoor he
• Maine app se aaj tak kuchh nahin manga par aaj mangta hun (eeb ke hogya)

[shailendra]

Kutte mein tera khoon pee jaunga

Well, now that one is just copyrighted Dharmendra! Ha! Ha!:D

[poonam]

Main kahaan hoon...:D :D (invariably, hero would ask this over repeated question 'hosh' aane ke baad)

Inki yadaasht chali gayi hai...:D .(there goes that typical 'doctor')..
.
heh heh heh heh.....LOL.. LOL....:D ;)

[shailendra]

Main kahaan hoon...:D :D (invariably, hero would ask this over repeated question 'hosh' aane ke baad)

Inki yadaasht chali gayi hai...:D .(there goes that typical 'doctor')..
.
heh heh heh heh.....LOL.. LOL....:D ;)

"Inki yadaasht chali gayee hai, ab inhae kisi tarah ka sadma dena oga yadaasht wapas lane ke liye!" (God bless these doctors!... never figured the brain might be like my old TV!)

[panward]

A) Bachchey ko to bacha liya par maa ko nahi Bacha paye

B) Jo bhi kehna hai katgharey mein aa ke kaho

C) Badhai ho! Beta hua hai

D) Geeta par haath rakh kar kasam khaiye, aap jo kahenge sach kahenge aur sach ke siva kuch nahin kahenge. (But where is Geeta? Call her first)

[poonam]

Order Order...
(typical court room...judge wo 'hathodda' maaran main dukhi hoya reh sae..LOL)

[downtoearth]

Order Order...
(typical court room...judge wo 'hathodda' maaran main dukhi hoya reh sae..LOL)objection over ruled :p

[poonam]

objection over ruled :p

Naheeeeeeeeeeen, ye nahin ho sakta....

----------LOL-----------------:D :D

[chhillar]

Jo hona he wo to ho ke rahe ga

[shailendra]

"...Me Lord, mere 'Fazil Dost' apnae aape se bahar ho kar es Adaalat ka waqt barbaad kar rahe hain!........" :rolleyes:

[monikadahiya]

really funny.. ahahaha

Mere pass maa hai. tere pass kya hai?

tumhe kasam hai mere pyar ki

may khudkhusi kar lungi ...hahahahaha

bhagwan ke ghar mein der hai, andher nahi...

mere bhai, mujhe cjhod ke mat jaooooo ( and crying)

more to come :D


hahaha

[sunitahooda]

Mera favourite jo Dharmender apni har film me jarur bolta hai....GANDII NAALI KE KEEDAY!!!!:p :p :p :p :D :D :D :D BAAKI CHILLAR AALA....MAI TERA KHOON PEE JAUNGA

[cooljat]

Tareekh pe tareekh....tareekh pe tareekhhhhh....lekin insaaf nahi milta judgesaab...insaaf nahi milta :D :D :D :D

Rock on
Jit"...Me Lord, mere 'Fazil Dost' apnae aape se bahar ho kar es Adaalat ka waqt barbaad kar rahe hain!........" :rolleyes:

[panward]

1) Kalmunhi! Yeh kiska paap hai tere pet mein.

2) Maine man se tumhe apna pati maan liya hai

3) Main kisi ko munh dikhaney ke kabil nahi rahi

4) Kaun karega tujh se shadi?

5) Main Karunga!

6) Sach! Beta tum insaan ke roop mein Bhagwaan ho.

[arunshamli]

tumahari maut tumehe yahan tak kheench ke layi hai...

[shailendra]

"Boss, aap kaho to mein ise abhee udaa dun???"........

[poonam]

"Boss, aap kaho to mein ise abhee udaa dun???"........

Nahin main isse 'til-til' kar marte dekhna chahta hoon..LOL..:D

[shailendra]

Nahin main isse 'til-til' kar marte dekhna chahta hoon!!!...

"Kameenae, tera yeh khwaab kabhie poora nahee hoga!"...
"Mardd ka bachcha hai to yeh haat khol dae...!!!"

[panward]

Khaamoshh!!!!

"Kameenae, tera yeh khwaab kabhie poora nahee hoga!"...
"Mardd ka bachcha hai to yeh haat khol dae...!!!"

[deepshi]

tum meri jabaan band kar saktey ho-lekin in duniya waalo ki nahi !

[anilsangwan]

Kanoon ko apne haath mein mat lo...

[panward]

1) Tum Charon Taraf se ghir chuke ho. Bhalai isi mein hai ke chup-chap apney aap ko kanoon ke hawale kar do.

2) Le jaao aur band kar do isey hawalaat mein.

3) (In the meanwhile in Hawalaat...) Mulaqat ka waqt Khatm ho gaya hai.

4) (Elsewhere) Chhod do.. Mujhey mar janey do... Main kisi ko munh dikhane ke kabil nahin rahi.

[panward]

Gustakh Kaneez! Jahanpanah ki shaan mein jurrat! Dewaar mein chinwa do isey.:(
tum meri jabaan band kar saktey ho-lekin in duniya waalo ki nahi !

[anilsangwan]

4) (Elsewhere) Chhod do.. Mujhey mar janey do... Main kisi ko munh dikhane ke kabil nahin rahi.

Kalmuhi... tujhe khandaan ki ijjat ka jara bhi khayaal nahi aaya...tu kahin marr kyu nahi gayee"

[panward]

Kalmuhi... tujhe khandaan ki ijjat ka jara bhi khayaal nahi aaya...tu kahin marr kyu nahi gayee"

Main itini aasani se nahin marungi... Main tujhe apney saath le ke marungi:D


(aur...Anand mara nahin. Anand marte nahin)

[panward]

Kanoon ko apne haath mein mat lo...

(After thought: To fir aap hi batayen ke kya lein?:confused:)

[poonam]

(After thought: To fir aap hi batayen ke kya lein?:confused:)

Cut Cut...
.ha ha ahaa...:D ;)

[rameshlakra]

(After thought: To fir aap hi batayen ke kya lein?:confused:)

Dil pe mat le yaar

[yashmalik]

'mein apka yeh ehsaan kaise chukaonga'
'kis muh se apka shukriya ada karoon'
'kutte mein tera khoon pijaonga'
'dekh liya gaddari ka anjaam'

'mujhe chhod kar mat jao maa'
'tumhara dil dil naheen pathar hai'
'mein shaadi larungi to sirf tumhi se'

'boss....mujhe maaf...kardo..mein dobara aisi galti nn..naheen karunga......'
'humare dhande me galti ke liye maafi naheen saja milti hai.......dichkyaaaaoon'

[royaljat]

kutte main tera KHOON pi jaunga(DHARAM paa ji),main phir marunga usse(sunny deol)

[royaljat]

hamare iss dhandhe me aate apni marzi se lekin jate mamari marzi se.
aab to koi chamatkar hi isse bacha sakta hai.
bhagwan ke ghar der hai andher nahi.
aab isse DAVA ki nhin DUAON ki jaroorat hai.

[royaljat]

MAA,kasam chhodunga nahi(dharam) ek -ek ko chun chun ke marunga,ghar me gus ke marunga.(sunny)

ye shadi hoke hi rahegi
pyar kiya to darna kya
ye ye-ye nishan to mere bhai ke hath pe tha,iska matlab............BHAIYA,
haan,munaa,main hi tera badnashib bhai hoon,
nahi,aisa mat kaho BHAIYA ,tum mujhe mil gaye ,aab mujhe sab kuch mil gaya hai..............hu huhu hu hu(weeping)

[panward]

1) Dur hoja meri nazaron se.

2) Isey dhakkey mar kar bahar nikal do.

3) Aaj se tera college jana band.

4) Teri maut tujhe yahan tak kheench kar layi hai.

Then there are various dialouges delivered collectively by a group of people:

Pakdo, pakdo .... Maaro, maaro ... Bhaago, bhaago.

[panward]

Main itini aasani se nahin marungi... Main tujhe apney saath le ke marungi:D

Whaddya mean by Marungi?

Daksh! Maine tujhe kya samjha aur tu kya nikla (nikli)!

[panward]

Kahan chhup gaye sab ke sab?

Nikal gayee......(hekdi)

[desijat]

Naam - VIJAY DINANATH CHAUHAN
Baap kaa naam- DINANATH CHAUHAN
Gaon- MANDWA

AAj shaam 6 baje apun ka maut ke sath appointment hai ...... Haiii


Kitne Aadmi the:p

Tumhara naam kya hai basanti

yahan se 50 50 kos dur tak jab koi bacha rota hai na.... to uski maa kehti hai beta so jaa..... nahi to gabbar aa jayegaye sari maae gabbar ke aane se pahle apne bacho kyu sula deti thi:p

[desijat]

Ye haath mujhe de de thakurr

Itna Sannata kyun hai bhai

yunkiii ye koun bola

BAsantii In kutto ke samne mat nachnaa:mad: (SALE NACHEGI NAHI TO PAISE KAISE WASOOL HONGE TICKET KE)

Kkkkkkkiiiiiirrrrrrraaaaannnnn :eek: (MOVIE OVER)

Pahan lo balwant rai ka patta apne gale mein


Agar mein sar jhuka sakta hun to mein sabse sar kaat bhi sakta hun (Gadar)

[panward]

Suar ke bachchon!

Now that we are not discussing cliched dialouges just. You all are free to post your favorite philumi die-log. (As if you needed my permission.)