A famous question & some great answers

[pnauhwar21]

The famous question... "Why did the chicken cross the road ?" when
put before a few Indians .......... this is what they had to say.....

"Why did the chicken cross the road ?"

Azhar:
"I am totally innocent, you know, I am unnecessarily being
dragged into this, you know.....
I neither know the chicken nor the road, you know...."

Devegowda:
"zzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....mmmm...mm... chicken ??? Thanks, I'll have it
later !!.........mm.........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Laloo:
"The fact, that the chicken crossed the road, means that, there
is one chicken missing from my poultry !!!"

George Fernandes:
"I am deeply hurt that this question is being asked after my 40
clean years of public life. I don't own a house, or a car
leave alone a chicken !!!"

Mulayam:
"I demand a 50% reservation of the road for the chicken class, so
that they can cross the road freely without their motives
being questioned"

Congress:
"That the chicken crossed the road clearly demonstrates the fact
that the people and chicken have lost confidence in the
Government. The Government should own moral responsibility and
resign !!!"

BJP:
"We are very sure of the fact that the chicken DID NOT cross the
road. Its a conspiracy by the congress to bring the
Government down. The poor chicken has been made a scapegoat in
this whole issue"

Mamta:
"Am I the chicken's Sister ??? #**@! You better go and ask the
chicken itself !!"

Jyoti Basu:
"Chicken ??!! Don't you dare call me a chicken ??? I just
resigned because of health reasons..."

Harkishen Singh Surjeet:
"We are adopting a wait and watch policy. We have convened a
meeting of the third front today. We will decide the
future course of action after the chicken comes back.."

Menaka Gandhi:

"Chicken crossed the road alone...!! If a vehicle had passed over
it, we would have lost one of our dearest creature. Ban all
vehicles from using that road. Protect our chikens..."

[vichitra]

hey prashant...
very good one.....
hans hans ke pet mein dard ho gaya.....
tina

[amarsirohi]

after a long time i have read a good joke on Jatland. Although i have heard the marxist and the american versions this one tops them all....

[rsdalal]

Good One...

[akdabas]

Ha ha ha ha.......good joke !!

[yvsgaawar]

Bahut chha, bheje jaa aise aise.

[jaatni]

good one
simran

[shokeen123]

Prashant:

Here is the international spin on the question...

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? (various authors)

Plato:
For the greater good.

Karl Marx:
It was an historical inevitability.

Machiavelli:
So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

Hippocrates:
Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.

Jacques Derrida:
Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!

Timothy Leary:
Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.

Andy Rooney:
"Didja ever wonder why it is that the chicken crossed the road, and which road it was?" But I didn't. I did ask some turkeys, however, and this is what they said...

President William Jefferson Clinton
That depends on how yuh define "road".

Hillary Rodham Clinton
I don't bake cookies; I don't cook chicken. I am not a crook -- er, I am not a cook.

James Carville:
Because the mean-spirited Republican majority in congress was going to cook the chicken and leave only the sun-bleached bones picked bare for the American people that they'd throw out in the street, Larry!

Ayn Rand:
A chicken's first duty is to itself. And only by living for itself is it able to achieve the things, which are the glory of chicken kind. Such is the nature of achievement.

A Typical Politically Correct Person:
Don't blame the chicken! Society is to blame. The chicken did cross the road, but he or she was merely a victim of this racist, bigoted, sexist society. We are all to blame, for failing to provide...

Friedrich Nietzsche:
Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.

Oliver North:
National Security was at stake.

B.F. Skinner:
Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.

Carl Jung:
The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.


Jean-Paul Sartre:
In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Ludwig Wittgenstein:
The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.

Albert Einstein:
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Aristotle:
To actualize it’s potential.

Buddha:
If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.

Howard Cosell:
It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an Herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurrence.

Charles Darwin:
It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

Emily Dickinson:
Because it could not stop for death.

Epicurus:
For fun.

Ralph Waldo Emerson:
It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe:
The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

Ernest Hemingway:
To die. In the rain.

Werner Heisenberg:
We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.

David Hume:
Out of custom and habit.

Pyrrho the Skeptic:
What road?

Ronald Reagan:
I forget.

The Sphinx:
You tell me.

Henry David Thoreau:
To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.

Mark Twain:
The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

The I Ching:
Because 9 in the first place means it furthers one to cross the Great Road. No blame.

Confucius:
To advise the Duke of Chou on crossing roads with chickenly piety.

Lao-tse:
If I told you, it would prove I don't know.

Chuang-tse: If Confucius and Lao-tse are on opposite sides of the same road, how much more so then the chicken?

Aleister Crowley:
Because it was his Will, and therefore the Whole of His Law.

Madame Blavatsky:
He was unwittingly acting on instructions emanating from my immediate superiors in the Himalayas.

Krishnamurti:
To demonstrate that there is no duality of This side and That side unless you think.

Ramana Maharsi:
When a chicken in your dream crosses a road in your dream, do you upon waking enquire into his motives?

Colonel Sanders:
To persuade the vegetarians that a chicken is just a fast plant.

Terence McKenna:
He was impelled by the backward shockwave of the Estuation towards the self-replicating machine hens glittering hyperspatially across the road.

Vernor Vinge:
Because the hyperbolic acceleration of roadcrossing technology led to a Singularity beyond which chickenhood on this side of the road is unimaginable.

Richard Dawkins:
Because of the selfishness of the road-crossing meme.

Nikola Tesla:
As part of a secret experiment in wireless chicken transmission.

A.J. Ayer:
In the absence of a technique to verify or falsify the assertion that he crossed it, the crossing must be regarded as chickenless.

Adolf Hitler:
Because it was his racial destiny to expand his Chickensraum.

M.C. Escher:
Are you so sure he really crossed it? Look again..

T.S.Eliot:
Because chickens will not cease from crossing, and the end of all their crossings will be to reach the side of the road they started from, and to know it for the first time.

Oprah Winfrey:
He was reacting to a repressed traumatic canonization in his childhood, which he will now share with us in detail.

F. Scott Fitzgerald:
Because he believed in the green light, the orgiastic chicken-run that year by year recedes before us. It eluded him then, but that's no matter; tomorrow he will scurry faster, poke out his beak further and one fine day....

Dr. Johnson:
To refute Berkeley's assertion that to be on the other side of the road is to appear to be there.

Al Gore:
Because I designed the Information Superhighway so that all chickens, especially the American ones can cross under our benevolent supervision.

King Lear:
As roads to wanton chickens are we to the gods; they cross us for their sport.

Dr. Emmett Brown:
"Roads? Where I'm going, the chicken doesn't need roads!"

Herman Hesse:
When the bizarre and solitary chicken disappeared across the road, his landlady's nephew, who felt an odd kinship toward the clucking fowl, found an egg inside the pen she once inhabited....

Steppenwolf:
Get your chicken running.

Paul McCartney: (from the other side of the road)
Yesterday.... all our chickens were so far away.

Boddhidarma:
Bring me that chicken.

Sam Spade:
The chicken pleaded with Sam to let her go. She even tried to seduce him. But Sam sneered, "I won't play the sap for you." He had to clear himself from guilt, and no chicken would stand in his way. His smile widened as he gazed at the bird. "When they fry you, I'll always remember you, kid," he said.

Wilbur and Orville Wright:
As to why, it is hard to say. Yet after we saw that it couldn't fly, a thought occurred... If we could build a skid with a track going down the hill to the road, she just might make it across without touching the ground.

Isaac Newton:
For that one crossing, there is an equal and opposite crossing occurring simultaneously.

Richard Nixon:
The chicken is not a crook.

Will Rogers:
I never met a chicken I didn't like.

Mort Sahl:
That chicken made it across the road, because it ran against Jimmy Carter. Like Reagan, that chicken would have never made it had it run unopposed.

O.J. Simpson's defense team... one after the other:
Did you see the chicken cross the road? I didn't see the chicken cross the road. How can we be sure the chicken crossed the road? Just because the chicken was on this side for a time... and now is on the other side... is not adequate reason to be sure it crossed the road.

Dr. Seuss:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

Martin Luther King, Jr.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross the road without having their motives called into question.

Grandpa:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

Saddam Hussein:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Fox Mulder:
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

Freud:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

Louis Farrakhan:
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

Erwin Schrodinger:
Until you actually observe the chicken, it exists in a superposition of both crossed and uncrossed states.

Carl Sandburg:
He crossed the road less traveled, and survived. That made all the difference.

PS: This listing is based on an anonymous compilation. I have not edited the text of those items, nor do I necessarily approve -- nor disapprove -- of the sentiments expressed herein.

Sujata