ssindhu
October 12th, 2007, 03:33 PM
Glenn McGrath v Eddo Brandes
McGrath was bowling to the Zimbabwe number 11 - who was unable to get his bat anywhere near the ball.
McGrath, frustrated that Brandes was still at the crease, wandered up during one particular over and inquired: "Why are you so fat?"
Quick as a flash, Brandes replied: "Because every time I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit."
Even the Aussie slip fielders were in hysterics.
Viv Richards v Greg Thomas
This incident took place during a county championship match between Glamorgan and Somerset.
Glamorgan paceman Thomas had beaten the bat a couple of times and informed Richards: "It's red, round and weighs about five ounces, in case you were wondering."
The very next ball was given the King Viv treament and smashed out of the ground, into a river - at which point Richards piped up: "Greg, you know what it looks like. Now go and find it."
Merv Hughes v Robin Smith
Smith played and missed while facing Hughes in the 1989 Lord's Test between England and Australia.
Hughes, never short of a word or two, told the Hampshire star: "You can't f***ing bat, mate."
Smith then smashed the next ball to the boundary and replied: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair.
"I can't f***ing bat and you can't f***ing bowl."
Merv Hughes v Javed Miandad
The big fella popped up again with another classic, this time in the 1991 Adelaide Test against Pakistan.
Hughes was less than impressed when Javed called him a "fat bus conductor" as the pair squared up to one another.
A few balls later, Hughes got his man and as Javed walked past, could not resist shouting "Tickets, please!"
WG Grace
Sledging is a part of cricket. WG Grace did it. Once given out leg-before, he refused to walk and told the bowler: "They came to watch me bat, not you bowl". And the innings continued.
Grace's ability to stand his ground would have done Steve Waugh proud. Once, when the ball knocked off a bail, he replaced it and told the umpire: "Twas the wind which took thy bail orf, good sir." The umpire replied: "Indeed, doctor, and let us hope thy wind helps the good doctor on thy journey back to the pavilion."
The best WG Grace sledge was on him, though, not from him. Charles Kortright had dismissed him four or five times in a county game - only for the umpires to keep turning down his appeals. Finally, he uprooted two of Grace's three stumps. Grace stalled, as though waiting for a no-ball call or something, before reluctantly walking off with Kortright's words in his ears: "Surely you're not going, doctor? There's still one stump standing."
Rod Marsh & Ian Botham
When Botham took guard in an Ashes match,
Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: "So how's your wife & my kids?"
Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne
As Cullinan was on his way to the
wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.
Robin Smith & Merv Hughes
During 1989 Lords Test Hughes said to
Smith after he played & missed:"You can't f**king bat". Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't f**king bat & you can't f**king bowl."
Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad
During 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv dismissed Javed: "Tickets please", Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.
James Ormond and Mark Waugh
James Ormond had just come out to bat on an ashes tour and was
greeted by Mark Waugh....... MW : "F*ck me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here, there's no way you're good enough to play for England" JO : "Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my family"
Malcom Marshall and David Boon
Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a couple of times. Marshall : "Now David, Are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"
Merv Hughes and Greame Hick
Merv Hughes is renowned for sledging and when Graeme Hick arrived at the crease he uttered “So Graeme, what does your husband do while you are playing cricket?”
Merv Hughes and Robin Smith
Hughes more or less repeated the phrase when Robin Smith arrived “Does your husband play cricket as well?”!
Merv Hughes and Atherton
One of my favourite examples of vintage Hughes has to be when he was bowling to Atherton. The England captain had played and missed a ball and what promptly followed is a prime example of a sledge .“I’ll bowl you a f****g piano, you Pommie poof; let’s see if you can play that”
Fred Trueman
Fred Trueman who when faced with two poor decisions from the umpire, (leg before decision and caught behind to an obvious knick) clean bowled his opponent with his next delivery and turned to the umpire and uttered, “That’s got to be bloody close, hasn’t it?”
McGrath and Ramnaresh Sarwan
McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan: "So what does Brian Lara's dick taste like?"
Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife."
McGrath (losing it): "If you ever effing mention my wife again, I'll effing rip your effing throat out."
Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne
As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting
2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.
Merv Hughes & Viv Richards
During a test match in the West Indies, hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but
continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my island, my culture.
Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say f**k *ff.".
Ian Healy and Arjuna Ranatunga
And of course you can't forget Ian Healy's legendary comment which was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in Sydney... "You don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat c**t!!!"
Mark Waugh and Adam Parore
Mark Waugh standing at second slip, the new player to the crease playing & missing the first ball. Mark - "Ohh, I remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were **** then, you're ••••••• useless now".
Parore- (Turning around) "Yeah, that's me & when I was there you were going out with that old, ugly slut & now I hear you've married her. You dumb ••••".
Glenn McGrath & Eddo Brandes
McGrath was bowling to the Zimbabwe number 11 - who was unable to get his bat anywhere near the ball. McGrath, frustrated that Brandes was still at the crease, wandered up during one particular over and inquired: "Why are you so fat?" Quick as a flash, Brandes replied: "Because every time I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit." Even the Aussie slip fielders were in hysterics.
Merv Hughes & Robin Smith
Smith played and missed while facing Hughes in the 1989 Lord's Test between England and Australia. Hughes, never short of a word or two, told the Hampshire star: "You can't f***ing bat, mate." Smith then smashed the next ball to the boundary and replied: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. "I can't f***ing bat and you can't f***ing bowl."
Merv Hughes and Javed Miandad
Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad in the 1991 Adelaide Test against Pakistan. Hughes was less than impressed when Javed called him a "fat bus conductor" as the pair squared up to one another. A few balls later, Hughes got his man and as Javed walked past, could not resist shouting "Tickets, please!"
Steve Waugh and Parthiv Patel
This involves Steve Waugh and Parthiv Patel.....Steve Waugh...Last Test...comes up to bat...PArthiv-"so this is your last test...show us some of that famous sledging of yours." Steve-"Respect Me...For when i made my test debut You were still in your nappies"
Greg Thomas and Viv Richards
Greg Thomas was bowling to Viv Richards in a county game. Viv missed a superb out swinger, and Thomas said "It's red, round and weighs about 5 1/2 ounces." Next ball Viv hits Greg Thomas out of the ground for a 6 and replies,"Greg, you know what it looks like. Go ahead and find it!"
Fred Trueman and Raman Subba Row
Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first slip, and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a word. At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly. "I should've kept my legs together, Fred". The reply is classic Trueman, "Not you, son. Your mother should've!"
Ian Healy and Ben Hollioake
Ben Hollioake had just made his debut, hitting Glenn McGrath in the process.
On his way back after finally being dismissed, Shane Warne cried: 'Hey, Ben'
Hollioake turned round expecting a pat on the back. Instead Healy came in from behind and said: 'Get back to the nets, you idiot.'
Javed Miandad and Dilip Doshi
This is the one and only javed miandad vs dilip doshi...javed bhai at the crease, doshi bowling...the players' hotel was quite near the stadium...
javed: "arre doshi apna room number to bataa"
nothing from doshi
next ball, javed asks again...still nothing when the over ends..."arre ab to over khatam ho gaya, ab to bataa de"
doshi finally relents.."216" (or watever)
Miandad - "agle over mein ball wahin maaroonga"
Ravi Shastri and Aussie 12th man
another one, ravi shastri v/s the aussie 12th man (don't remember who, and don't want to slander anyone ) shastri hits it to this guy and looks for a single...this guy gets the ball in and says "if you leave the crease i'll break your f***ing head"
shastri: "if you could bat as well as you can talk you wouldn't be the f***ing 12th man"
McGrath was bowling to the Zimbabwe number 11 - who was unable to get his bat anywhere near the ball.
McGrath, frustrated that Brandes was still at the crease, wandered up during one particular over and inquired: "Why are you so fat?"
Quick as a flash, Brandes replied: "Because every time I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit."
Even the Aussie slip fielders were in hysterics.
Viv Richards v Greg Thomas
This incident took place during a county championship match between Glamorgan and Somerset.
Glamorgan paceman Thomas had beaten the bat a couple of times and informed Richards: "It's red, round and weighs about five ounces, in case you were wondering."
The very next ball was given the King Viv treament and smashed out of the ground, into a river - at which point Richards piped up: "Greg, you know what it looks like. Now go and find it."
Merv Hughes v Robin Smith
Smith played and missed while facing Hughes in the 1989 Lord's Test between England and Australia.
Hughes, never short of a word or two, told the Hampshire star: "You can't f***ing bat, mate."
Smith then smashed the next ball to the boundary and replied: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair.
"I can't f***ing bat and you can't f***ing bowl."
Merv Hughes v Javed Miandad
The big fella popped up again with another classic, this time in the 1991 Adelaide Test against Pakistan.
Hughes was less than impressed when Javed called him a "fat bus conductor" as the pair squared up to one another.
A few balls later, Hughes got his man and as Javed walked past, could not resist shouting "Tickets, please!"
WG Grace
Sledging is a part of cricket. WG Grace did it. Once given out leg-before, he refused to walk and told the bowler: "They came to watch me bat, not you bowl". And the innings continued.
Grace's ability to stand his ground would have done Steve Waugh proud. Once, when the ball knocked off a bail, he replaced it and told the umpire: "Twas the wind which took thy bail orf, good sir." The umpire replied: "Indeed, doctor, and let us hope thy wind helps the good doctor on thy journey back to the pavilion."
The best WG Grace sledge was on him, though, not from him. Charles Kortright had dismissed him four or five times in a county game - only for the umpires to keep turning down his appeals. Finally, he uprooted two of Grace's three stumps. Grace stalled, as though waiting for a no-ball call or something, before reluctantly walking off with Kortright's words in his ears: "Surely you're not going, doctor? There's still one stump standing."
Rod Marsh & Ian Botham
When Botham took guard in an Ashes match,
Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: "So how's your wife & my kids?"
Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne
As Cullinan was on his way to the
wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.
Robin Smith & Merv Hughes
During 1989 Lords Test Hughes said to
Smith after he played & missed:"You can't f**king bat". Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't f**king bat & you can't f**king bowl."
Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad
During 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv dismissed Javed: "Tickets please", Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.
James Ormond and Mark Waugh
James Ormond had just come out to bat on an ashes tour and was
greeted by Mark Waugh....... MW : "F*ck me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here, there's no way you're good enough to play for England" JO : "Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my family"
Malcom Marshall and David Boon
Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a couple of times. Marshall : "Now David, Are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"
Merv Hughes and Greame Hick
Merv Hughes is renowned for sledging and when Graeme Hick arrived at the crease he uttered “So Graeme, what does your husband do while you are playing cricket?”
Merv Hughes and Robin Smith
Hughes more or less repeated the phrase when Robin Smith arrived “Does your husband play cricket as well?”!
Merv Hughes and Atherton
One of my favourite examples of vintage Hughes has to be when he was bowling to Atherton. The England captain had played and missed a ball and what promptly followed is a prime example of a sledge .“I’ll bowl you a f****g piano, you Pommie poof; let’s see if you can play that”
Fred Trueman
Fred Trueman who when faced with two poor decisions from the umpire, (leg before decision and caught behind to an obvious knick) clean bowled his opponent with his next delivery and turned to the umpire and uttered, “That’s got to be bloody close, hasn’t it?”
McGrath and Ramnaresh Sarwan
McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan: "So what does Brian Lara's dick taste like?"
Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife."
McGrath (losing it): "If you ever effing mention my wife again, I'll effing rip your effing throat out."
Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne
As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting
2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.
Merv Hughes & Viv Richards
During a test match in the West Indies, hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but
continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my island, my culture.
Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say f**k *ff.".
Ian Healy and Arjuna Ranatunga
And of course you can't forget Ian Healy's legendary comment which was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in Sydney... "You don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat c**t!!!"
Mark Waugh and Adam Parore
Mark Waugh standing at second slip, the new player to the crease playing & missing the first ball. Mark - "Ohh, I remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were **** then, you're ••••••• useless now".
Parore- (Turning around) "Yeah, that's me & when I was there you were going out with that old, ugly slut & now I hear you've married her. You dumb ••••".
Glenn McGrath & Eddo Brandes
McGrath was bowling to the Zimbabwe number 11 - who was unable to get his bat anywhere near the ball. McGrath, frustrated that Brandes was still at the crease, wandered up during one particular over and inquired: "Why are you so fat?" Quick as a flash, Brandes replied: "Because every time I make love to your wife, she gives me a biscuit." Even the Aussie slip fielders were in hysterics.
Merv Hughes & Robin Smith
Smith played and missed while facing Hughes in the 1989 Lord's Test between England and Australia. Hughes, never short of a word or two, told the Hampshire star: "You can't f***ing bat, mate." Smith then smashed the next ball to the boundary and replied: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. "I can't f***ing bat and you can't f***ing bowl."
Merv Hughes and Javed Miandad
Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad in the 1991 Adelaide Test against Pakistan. Hughes was less than impressed when Javed called him a "fat bus conductor" as the pair squared up to one another. A few balls later, Hughes got his man and as Javed walked past, could not resist shouting "Tickets, please!"
Steve Waugh and Parthiv Patel
This involves Steve Waugh and Parthiv Patel.....Steve Waugh...Last Test...comes up to bat...PArthiv-"so this is your last test...show us some of that famous sledging of yours." Steve-"Respect Me...For when i made my test debut You were still in your nappies"
Greg Thomas and Viv Richards
Greg Thomas was bowling to Viv Richards in a county game. Viv missed a superb out swinger, and Thomas said "It's red, round and weighs about 5 1/2 ounces." Next ball Viv hits Greg Thomas out of the ground for a 6 and replies,"Greg, you know what it looks like. Go ahead and find it!"
Fred Trueman and Raman Subba Row
Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first slip, and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a word. At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly. "I should've kept my legs together, Fred". The reply is classic Trueman, "Not you, son. Your mother should've!"
Ian Healy and Ben Hollioake
Ben Hollioake had just made his debut, hitting Glenn McGrath in the process.
On his way back after finally being dismissed, Shane Warne cried: 'Hey, Ben'
Hollioake turned round expecting a pat on the back. Instead Healy came in from behind and said: 'Get back to the nets, you idiot.'
Javed Miandad and Dilip Doshi
This is the one and only javed miandad vs dilip doshi...javed bhai at the crease, doshi bowling...the players' hotel was quite near the stadium...
javed: "arre doshi apna room number to bataa"
nothing from doshi
next ball, javed asks again...still nothing when the over ends..."arre ab to over khatam ho gaya, ab to bataa de"
doshi finally relents.."216" (or watever)
Miandad - "agle over mein ball wahin maaroonga"
Ravi Shastri and Aussie 12th man
another one, ravi shastri v/s the aussie 12th man (don't remember who, and don't want to slander anyone ) shastri hits it to this guy and looks for a single...this guy gets the ball in and says "if you leave the crease i'll break your f***ing head"
shastri: "if you could bat as well as you can talk you wouldn't be the f***ing 12th man"