Husband Upgradation!

[dkumar]

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the performance of flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running NAGGING 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Desperate

***************************

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Try to enter the command: C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2.

Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Television 6.1. Television 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Loud noises ( WAV files) and does not get deleted.

DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Cheerfulness 2.0.

Good Luck,
Tech Support

[sanjaychhikara]

good one...

[naveenadalal]

good one !!!

[akdabas]

Excellent !!!

Ye upgradation to mehnga para....

Ha..Ha..Ha.....

[yvsgaawar]

Hahaha... bahut badhiya...

[rinu]

LOL, From where u got dis?
really V e R y F u N n YyYyYyYyY



RiNu

[sweet]

good one...................

cheers....................

[yajuvender]

Run Divorce 0.0,
It will delete all old programs & let u install new programs.

Happy Divorce,
Tech Support

[virender]

If still does not work properly you can use the free downloadable package Belan 3.0 and jadu 2.1 before uninstall completely

[sanjaychhikara]

is there also an wife Upgradation?

[chandrapal]

Excellent work Dhanesh. This is one of the most funniest things I have ever read.

Love it.

[anujkumar]

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife
1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began
unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
space and valuable resources. No mention of this was
included with the product information. In addition,
Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs
and now launches during system initialization, where
it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys
Night 2.5, Football 5.0, Hockey 3.0, Hunting and
Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing
the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep
Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run
my favorite applications.

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but
the Uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help! Thanks.


A Troubled User

REPLY FROM TECH SUPPORT:

Dear Troubled User,

This is a very common problem that men complain
about. It is due to a primary misconception among
men. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife
1.0 thinking that it is merely a Utilities and
Entertainment program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by
its creator to run everything! It is also impossible
to delete Wife 1.0 and return to Girlfriend 7.0.
Hidden operating system files cause Girlfriend 7.0
to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is
impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the
program files from the system once installed. You
cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is
designed to not allow this. Some have tried to
install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with
more problems than in the original system.

Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under "Warnings:
Maintenance/Child Support." I recommend that you
keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I
suggest installing the background application
program Yes_Dear to alleviate software augmentation.

Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I also suggest
that you read the entire section regarding "General
Partnership Faults" (GPFs). "You must assume all
responsibility for any faults and problems that
occur, regardless of their cause. You will also find
that GPFs tend to be somewhat cyclical, occurring
approximately 28 days apart. The best course of
action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. Avoid
excessive use of C:\YES_DEAR because ultimately you
will have to use the APOLOGIZE command before the
system will return to normal anyway. Remember, the
system will run smoothly as long as you take the
blame for all GPFs.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but tends to require
very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several
support programs such as Clean_and_Sweep 3.0,
Cook_It 1.5 (which replaces Burn_It 1.0) and
Do_Bills 4.2. You must however be very careful how
you use these programs. Improper use will cause the
system to launch the program Nag_Nag 9.5. Once this
happens, the only way to improve the performance of
Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I
recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 should this
happen.

WARNING!! *DO NOT* under any circumstances, install
Secretary_With_Short_Skirt. This application is not
supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible
damage to the operating system.

Regards

Tech Support

have it or not ... up to u....

[shokeen123]

Dhanesh and Anuj:

Both packages are hilarious...and user friendly...

[rinu]

rEaLlY UlTiMaTe , UnIQuE n HiLaRiiOuS ........



RiNu



Anuj Kumar (May 18, 2003 02:23 a.m.):
Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife
1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began
unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
space and valuable resources. No mention of this was
included with the product information. In addition,
Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs
and now launches during system initialization, where
it monitors all other system activity.

Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys
Night 2.5, Football 5.0, Hockey 3.0, Hunting and
Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing
the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep
Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run
my favorite applications.

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but
the Uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help! Thanks.


A Troubled User

REPLY FROM TECH SUPPORT:

Dear Troubled User,

This is a very common problem that men complain
about. It is due to a primary misconception among
men. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife
1.0 thinking that it is merely a Utilities and
Entertainment program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by
its creator to run everything! It is also impossible
to delete Wife 1.0 and return to Girlfriend 7.0.
Hidden operating system files cause Girlfriend 7.0
to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is
impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the
program files from the system once installed. You
cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is
designed to not allow this. Some have tried to
install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with
more problems than in the original system.

Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under "Warnings:
Maintenance/Child Support." I recommend that you
keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I
suggest installing the background application
program Yes_Dear to alleviate software augmentation.

Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I also suggest
that you read the entire section regarding "General
Partnership Faults" (GPFs). "You must assume all
responsibility for any faults and problems that
occur, regardless of their cause. You will also find
that GPFs tend to be somewhat cyclical, occurring
approximately 28 days apart. The best course of
action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. Avoid
excessive use of C:\YES_DEAR because ultimately you
will have to use the APOLOGIZE command before the
system will return to normal anyway. Remember, the
system will run smoothly as long as you take the
blame for all GPFs.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but tends to require
very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several
support programs such as Clean_and_Sweep 3.0,
Cook_It 1.5 (which replaces Burn_It 1.0) and
Do_Bills 4.2. You must however be very careful how
you use these programs. Improper use will cause the
system to launch the program Nag_Nag 9.5. Once this
happens, the only way to improve the performance of
Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I
recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 should this
happen.

WARNING!! *DO NOT* under any circumstances, install
Secretary_With_Short_Skirt. This application is not
supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible
damage to the operating system.

Regards

Tech Support

have it or not ... up to u....

[sydjat]

Anuj bhai,

yeh to nehle pe dehla ho gaya.

Excellent!!!!!!!

[shekhar_nehra]

HHKLP
(Hans Hans Ke Loot Poot)

Ha Ha Ha ....

Badhiya hai aane do nae versions...........

[rsdalal]

Very Funny....

[rkumar]

I am told great tech support is available here. Here I have this 25 yr old Husband-1978 loaded on my system and wife-1978 loaded on other system...system has been so heavily used that there are many bad sectors and programme is so slow to run..Tried to format the disc so many times, but did not take the back up as I never realized that the tracks and sectors will fail... Systems make lots of noise and even screens flicker..lots of garbage very often for which I have to shut the system many times over and start again... any solution for such outdated hardware and operating system? Any way to format and re-load the OS? ..

Rajendra