sweet_monu
February 20th, 2004, 05:43 PM
Saddam Hussain visits God and asks him: " God when shall I see the defeat of Bill Clinton."
God replies: " Son, you will not see it in your lifetime." Hearing this, Saddam Hussain starts crying and goes away. Gen Parvez Musharaff visits God and asks him: " God when shall I see the capture of Kashmir by Pakistan." God replies: " Son, you will not see it in your lifetime." Hearing this, Gen Parvez Musharaff starts crying and goes away. Laaloo Yadav visits God and asks him: " God when shall I see Bihar becoming a prosperous and happy state." Hearing this, God starts crying. Laaloo is astounded and asks: " God, why are you crying ? " God replies: " Son, I will not see it in my lifetime "
What do they call French Toilet in Bihar ?
La loo
Laloo is convicted in the fodder case and the courts decide that all his property belongs to the state. He is left with nothing and is going around looking for a job. Eureka Forbes (the vacuum cleaner company) gives him a job as a vacuum cleaner saleman. Laloo decides to do well on his first day itself. He goes to the first house in his territory. He knocks, a lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, Laloo runs inside and dumps gobar (cow dung) all over the floor and the sofa. He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don't do wonders cleaning up that gobar right now, I'll eat every chunk of it." She replies, "You want salt and pepper on that? We just moved in and we haven't got the electricity turned on yet."
Laloo becomes PM (if you haven't cut your throat yet, read on) and goes to Pakistan for a one-on-one with Nawaz Sharif. They decide to meet without aides and are closeted for about 5 minutes. Laloo then emerges from the room. Reporters clamor for a statement. "Nawazbhai will make the announcement." is all Laloo will say. Nawaz Sharif comes out and drops a bombshell - Pakistan has decided to give up all claims on Kashmir, with no strings attached. The world is stunned. Laloo has achieved in 5 minutes what others had failed to in 50 years! How did you do it, what did you promise, the press clamours. "Sab AKAI - waalon ka kamaal hai," says Laloo. "Who kehte hain na, TV loge to fridge doonga, video khareedein to cellphone free... to hum bhi Nawazbhai se kehe diye: "Aapko Kashmir chaahiye na? Le jaayie. Magar saath mein Bihar free milega, bas!"
Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the security guard told Laloo "WAIT PLEASE" for which Laloo replied "65Kgs" and moved on...
Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las Vegas. So he called up the Tourist department and asked them "Ji.Could you tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Begas..."The man at the other end replies "One second sir..." and Laloo immediately replies "thank you" and puts the phone down.
Laloos family planning policy."DONT HAVE MORE THAN TWO CHILDREN IN ONE YEAR"
At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE."
And the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE."
The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?" Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."
God replies: " Son, you will not see it in your lifetime." Hearing this, Saddam Hussain starts crying and goes away. Gen Parvez Musharaff visits God and asks him: " God when shall I see the capture of Kashmir by Pakistan." God replies: " Son, you will not see it in your lifetime." Hearing this, Gen Parvez Musharaff starts crying and goes away. Laaloo Yadav visits God and asks him: " God when shall I see Bihar becoming a prosperous and happy state." Hearing this, God starts crying. Laaloo is astounded and asks: " God, why are you crying ? " God replies: " Son, I will not see it in my lifetime "
What do they call French Toilet in Bihar ?
La loo
Laloo is convicted in the fodder case and the courts decide that all his property belongs to the state. He is left with nothing and is going around looking for a job. Eureka Forbes (the vacuum cleaner company) gives him a job as a vacuum cleaner saleman. Laloo decides to do well on his first day itself. He goes to the first house in his territory. He knocks, a lady opens the door, and before she has a chance to say anything, Laloo runs inside and dumps gobar (cow dung) all over the floor and the sofa. He says, "Lady, if this vacuum cleaner don't do wonders cleaning up that gobar right now, I'll eat every chunk of it." She replies, "You want salt and pepper on that? We just moved in and we haven't got the electricity turned on yet."
Laloo becomes PM (if you haven't cut your throat yet, read on) and goes to Pakistan for a one-on-one with Nawaz Sharif. They decide to meet without aides and are closeted for about 5 minutes. Laloo then emerges from the room. Reporters clamor for a statement. "Nawazbhai will make the announcement." is all Laloo will say. Nawaz Sharif comes out and drops a bombshell - Pakistan has decided to give up all claims on Kashmir, with no strings attached. The world is stunned. Laloo has achieved in 5 minutes what others had failed to in 50 years! How did you do it, what did you promise, the press clamours. "Sab AKAI - waalon ka kamaal hai," says Laloo. "Who kehte hain na, TV loge to fridge doonga, video khareedein to cellphone free... to hum bhi Nawazbhai se kehe diye: "Aapko Kashmir chaahiye na? Le jaayie. Magar saath mein Bihar free milega, bas!"
Once Laloo was coming out of Airport. As there was huge rush the security guard told Laloo "WAIT PLEASE" for which Laloo replied "65Kgs" and moved on...
Once Laloo wanted to know the time difference between Bihar and Las Vegas. So he called up the Tourist department and asked them "Ji.Could you tell me the time difference between Patna and Las Begas..."The man at the other end replies "One second sir..." and Laloo immediately replies "thank you" and puts the phone down.
Laloos family planning policy."DONT HAVE MORE THAN TWO CHILDREN IN ONE YEAR"
At a bar in New York, the man to Laloo's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE."
And the man's companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE."
The bartender approaches Laloo and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?" Laloo replies: "LALOO YADAV, MARRIED."