mohican
July 27th, 2004, 02:12 PM
In Poland, they tell Michigan jokes
(and other truths)
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Q: How do you get a UM grad off your porch?
A: Give him $10 for the pizza.
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Q: What is the only sign of intelligent life in Michigan?
A: The freeway sign that says "Columbus, 192 miles".
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What does one idiot say? "Duh"
What do two idiots say? "Duh, Duh"
What do 100,000 idiots say? Duhhh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, Duhhh, duh,
duh, duh, duh, duh, duh ("Hail to the Victors"...without sound)
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Q: What does the average UM student get on his SAT?
A: Drool
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Q: Why do UM grads put diplomas around their mirrors?
A: To park in the handicapped spaces.
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Q: How many UM grads does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, its a sophomore course.
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Q: What's the difference between the UM and Rice Krispies?
A: Rice Krispies know what to do in a bowl.
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Q: What do you get when you drive slowly by the UM campus?
A: A diploma.
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Q: Why doesn't Michigan have ice on the sidelines?
A: The guy who had the recipe graduated.
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Q. What is the difference between a UM grad and a catfish?
A. One scrounges around eating garbage and other peoples' waste. The other is a fish.
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Q. What's the difference between UM and a bag of manure?
A. The bag!
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Q. What does a seven course meal in Ann Arbor consist of?
A. A six pack and a possum!
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Q. If two UM graduates jump off a cliff, which one hits the ground first?
A. Who cares!?
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Q: How did the UM student break his leg at the golf course?
A: He fell off the ball washer.
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Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and a UM Wolverine?
A: Six more weeks of bad football.
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Q: Did you hear that The Rolling Stones are playing at Michigan Stadium?
A: Yeah, they're 10-point favorites.
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Q: What is the difference between a cactus and Michigan stadium?
A: A cactus has 100,000 pricks on the outside.
(and other truths)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you get a UM grad off your porch?
A: Give him $10 for the pizza.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What is the only sign of intelligent life in Michigan?
A: The freeway sign that says "Columbus, 192 miles".
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What does one idiot say? "Duh"
What do two idiots say? "Duh, Duh"
What do 100,000 idiots say? Duhhh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, Duhhh, duh,
duh, duh, duh, duh, duh ("Hail to the Victors"...without sound)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What does the average UM student get on his SAT?
A: Drool
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do UM grads put diplomas around their mirrors?
A: To park in the handicapped spaces.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How many UM grads does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, its a sophomore course.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What's the difference between the UM and Rice Krispies?
A: Rice Krispies know what to do in a bowl.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you get when you drive slowly by the UM campus?
A: A diploma.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why doesn't Michigan have ice on the sidelines?
A: The guy who had the recipe graduated.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What is the difference between a UM grad and a catfish?
A. One scrounges around eating garbage and other peoples' waste. The other is a fish.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What's the difference between UM and a bag of manure?
A. The bag!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. What does a seven course meal in Ann Arbor consist of?
A. A six pack and a possum!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q. If two UM graduates jump off a cliff, which one hits the ground first?
A. Who cares!?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How did the UM student break his leg at the golf course?
A: He fell off the ball washer.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What do you get when you breed a groundhog and a UM Wolverine?
A: Six more weeks of bad football.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Did you hear that The Rolling Stones are playing at Michigan Stadium?
A: Yeah, they're 10-point favorites.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What is the difference between a cactus and Michigan stadium?
A: A cactus has 100,000 pricks on the outside.