last one on marriages

[sansanwalamit]

hello everone,
welll when i have opened this pandora's box of weddings i feel i should write alll the evils on this borad....now after the gotra , villages ....the last one is the most ridiculous one......have you ever noticed how desperate some parents are to get their daughters married in the villages of delhi suba, and these parents form a large number ...well i wouldnt call them wrong for thinking so ....the immense amount of wealth( knock on wood) floating in these villages is a major attraction ....and everyone wants their daughters to go in a prosperous house......but whats wrong in here is that parents actually shut their eyes when it comes to the groom .....it rather seems that they get their daughters marrried to the houses and wealth instead of the groom.....i have personally seen guys who didnt even finish their high school getting married to Post graduates....guys who dont stand in deep waters when it comes to looks getting married to girls worth a turn around......guys who dont do anything all day long except just sitting on their backsides in wherever ......getting married to girls working in MNCs .......guys who can beat Homer Simpson when it comes to guzzeling beer and thats all they can do getting married to an excellent girl .....now whyyyy and how do parents get blinded by the wealth, the family and the Delhi title......its totally ridiculous isnt it ...and due to this fact only ... marriages are happeing in neighboring villages and forbidden gotras ....I mean now who would want to send their daughters who are brought up in Delhi .....to villages of Haryana ...untill and unless someone is really rich in haryana .....thus the result is many deserving, good looking, smart guys are unmarried and getting bald in haryana whereas some pot bellied, uneducated , wife beater in making is listenig to wedding bells in delhi ........

[anurag]

Well Amit, the only point i found missing in your posts is the Guy side of the story.....it is not just about daughters, these things are true for sons as well.....so I think instead of keeping it all biased against parents of daughters, throw some light on parents of sons as well who marry their sons because of dowry....that is to have luxury cars in their porches.....any instances of this

[sansanwalamit]

Thank you, Anurag for bringing this in my notice, I would just like to say that its not me who is showing bias....well our system is like that people from girls side go on a look out for grooms.....and how it happens is you know and so does everyone ...now this actually gives the birth to the problem ...as when girls side people go on groom "hunt"....they generally lookout for a suitable boy....which includes a good house (rich) and an intellignent boy...now what happens is that its easy to find a rich house ...but not a "rich" groom.....thus the compromises are made ...according to my personal experiance I noticed that girls side people do overlook at many things...whereas the groom side does look for a rich family to calculate the dowery but then it is again to be balmed on the girls side ...I mean why they in first place knowing that you cannot get married in this village, gotra or the groom isnt a suitable they go ahead with it ...I mean if someone is coming to you ....its not you who invite them ....now if you see any of your personal interest getting right in the scene then why wouldnt you go with it ......thus I have to be prejudiced against the girls side ....coz they are the ones who ignite the fire whereas the grooms side people are the those beneficaries who warm their hands and fill their hookkaa form that fire.....I hope i am making sense in here

[shokeen123]

Anurag Kadyan (Jan 20, 2003 12:07 p.m.):

I think instead of keeping it all biased against parents of daughters, throw some light on parents of sons as well who marry their sons because of dowry....that is to have luxury cars in their porches.....any instances of this

Anurag:

THANKS FOR SHEDDING SOME LIGHT TO THIS YOUNGSTER!

[duhan]

I think this happening because of human intervention in the process of Natural Selection. I think ideally arranged marriages have a role far greater than just the preservation of the genes of your own kind i.e., marriage within your own community. Ideally it should act as a buffer

against culture shock that the 2 individuals encounter due to each others influence, among other things. But given the arranged marriage scenario described above, the compatibility of the individuals is totally ignored because of money. I think among Jats

in the absence of some common theme like a common religious philosophy, it becomes hard to identify with people from different social/educational background- which is further worsened by their spreading out to so many states. May be Jats need their own religion to have a solid common theme which may help in overcoming many of the problems like inter caste marriage, incompatibility marriages and at the same time give a feeling of unity among all Jats at all times.