jats the unique...traditions and customs

[rajendersingh]

dear all,
i have come across a few unique habits ,customs and traditions in our community.its different that some other castes under their influence also has to tow in the line. but the fact is that these are, jats tradition in all aspect.just to start, lets take one by one ..

.why is it there that a widow was allowed to remarry..and that too with the first perfernce to the DEVAR"THE YOUNGER BROTRHER OF THE DEAD HUSBAND"..IT WAS ALLOWED EVEN IF THE DEVAR WAS ALL READY MARRAIED. AS FAR AS MY KNOWLEDGE GOES IT IS NO WHERE IN PRACTICE ,ANY WHERE IN WORLD.

[rkumar]

Here is an interesting link I found on the subject;

http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/Organizations/healthnet/SAsia/suchana/0500/h014.html

However, let me ask the members how they think of widow/ widower remarriage, leaving aside the tradition. What are its impact upon childern from the first husband/ wife ?

Rajendra

[jagmohan]

Rajendra Ji,

Thanks for posting the link. It took a while to go through the thesis but it was worth the read.

Now coming to the question of widow/widower remarriage.

I see absolutely no harm in it. If a man/woman has basic human qualities that go on to make him/her genuinly 'broadminded', he/she should be able to handle second marriage well. I suppose a 'broadminded' man/woman who becomes a widower/widow should have well groomed children. If a person is good, genuine and what is called 'Good Human Being', he/she should be able to look after the children, his own and those that he/she inherits from the first marriage.

Now the question of impact on children from first wife/husband. Well, as long as one treats them as their 'Own' there should be no problem. A genuine, transparent and visible non discriminatory behavior goes a long way in making the children realise that they are indeed part of the 'Family' and would be given equal opportunities in life. That's it.

The problem is not of taking a decision to remarry a widow/widower but in making it work thereafter. And the biggest hurdle comes from the 'so called society' and NOT from those who are 'good human beings'. But then I am reminded of that famous saying, sung so very well by Kishore Kumar I think. "Kuchh to log kahen ge he, Logon ka kam hai kahna".

I hope what I have written makes some sense.

Regards,

JS Malik

[rkumar]

But then I am reminded of that famous saying, sung so very well by Kishore Kumar I think. "Kuchh to log kahen ge he, Logon ka kam hai kahna".

I hope what I have written makes some sense.

Regards,

JS Malik

What you have written Malik Sahab, makes full sense. This reminds me of an interesting small story.
" Ek baar ek aadmi aur uska beta gadhe par ek saath baithe ja rahe the. Unke ek saath gadhe par baitha dekh kar logon ne kaha ki wo kitne bure hain ki bechaare gadhe ko bojh se maare jaa rahe hain. Es par baap neeche uar gaya aur beta gadhe par baith raha..Fir logon ne kahan ki bete ko sharm nahi aate ki boodhaa baap paidal jaa raha hai aur wo aaraam se gadhe par baitha jaa raha hai..Yeh sun kar beta neeche utar gaya aur baap gadhe par baith gaya..Fir logon ne kaha ki dekho kungar aadmi ko sharam nahi aati ki jara sa bachaa paidal ja raha hai aur khud gadhe par aaram se baith ja raha hai..yeh sab sunkar wo dono paidal chal padhe gadhe ke aasah..yeh dekh kar fir log hansne lage aur kehne lage ki dono kitne bewakoof hain ki gadhe ke hote hue bhi paidal ja rahe hai..'' so moral of the story is exactly same what you have mentioned by quoting the song sung by Kisor Kumar..

Hope more members express their views on the topic.

Rajendra

[ramksehrawat]

There is no harm in widow(er) getting re-marrying. However, the children (if any) should not suffer as a consequence.

[uday]

Dear Friends,
In my perception It depends upon individual wish and circumstances too !!