Where is our society going?

[bnashier]

On December 19, 2004, there was a gathering of sarv khap mahapanchayat at the historic Chaubisi Chabutra in Meham village. The mahapanchayat decided, among other things, that it will not accord social sanction to love marriages.

At the same time there seems to be an effort on the part of state Govt. to encourage intercaste marriages, and obviously, such alliances would happen only if two parties are fond of each other and thus they are “in love” with each other. Thus the Govt. system is encouraging “love” marriages.

Let us also note that this khap mahapanchayat thing involves our jats. Those who have moved to urban settings can thumb their nose at this khap mahapanchayat stuff and freely decide about their lives and the khap mahapanchayat has no way of interfering with their lives. Now the decisions about life in rural settings is subjected to the approval and wish of khap mahapanchayats. This is a chapter straight from the Taliban book.

Also note that the khap mahapanchayat did not use the term “love marriages between different castes”, it simply said “love marriages”. Thus, if a rural jat boy/girl meets a fine counterpart in college, say, and they like each other to the extent to wish to spend their lives together, they will be ostracized by the mahapanchayat because they would be guilty of being “in love.”

What an irony it is to observe that our urban lives have become so fast-faced and hi-tech that a 16/17-year-old girl from a prestigious school in New Delhi is videotaped on a cell phone while performing oral sex on a classmate and the tape is transmitted across the country, and the rural folks are fighting to decide who can marry whom! Is it a great social progress or what?

It should remind one of a lyric:

' Mama said there will be days like these'

[raj2rif]

Dear Dr. Budh Ji,

It is very unfortunate to note the thinking of our Khap Mahapanchayats. I really don't know what is the legal status of these khaps. I think we all have to raise a united voice to reach their deaf years, that they need to give freedom to the youth. While I am strongly against what happened on those video tapes, we need to be realistic in our approach and need to adopt the changing environment without loosing our identity. A very flexible and practical approach needs to be adopted on issues of marriages.

[jagmohan]

Budh Bhai Saheb,

Namaskar,

It is a Catch 22 situation really!

The strenghts of our community were, and still are, 'Bhai Chara', 'Our System of Marriages' (No Dowry, of course), Simplicity, Hardworking Nature, Fair Play, Impartiality, Loyalty, Honesty of Intention and last but not the least, Self Belief that Nothing is Unsurmountable. There may be some qualities that I may have missed out though. A community with such naturally acquired qualities should have been on the top of the world by now. We all know what the faults are and previous threads have discussed such issues.

Let me first take the 'Mahapanchayat' issue. You have correctly noted that they have no business interfering in core personal issues. But that also does not mean that they were irrelevant. The 'Khap' system has had its glorious days in tha past and may be if the educated amongst us can spread education amongst the less fortunate, the 'Khaps' could still be relevant provided they remain in tune with changing ethos of the community. Also only negative issues are highlighted. Sometime back tha "Gathwala Khap' ie Maliks decided something that I personally felt was good. They decided 'Not to marry a Malik girl to any boy who had 'left' (Divorced) another Malik girl because of Dowry nor accept any girl as bride from such families'. I know the implementation of such orders is difficult but it does show a positive sign of 'Khap' thinking.

Then there is an issue of who is really affected by these 'Khaps'? Those who live in the villages or having a stake (zamin - zydad) there. People who have moved out care too hoots for it anyway. And now even the courts have ruled against the applicability of 'Khap' directives.

Now the 'Society' as a whole. There is a race ON. Grab as much as you can and by whatever means you can. This is the sum total. An honest person is frowned upon as someone from a different planet. Everything has become politicised and criminalised. When poor are dying across the nation, now because of 'cold wave, the country is in a vice like grip of the media frenzy on one idiotic issue after another. Ram Mandir, MMS, Lallo Yadav, this scam and that scam. Actually it suits everyone because then no one has time left for asking 'real questions' that affect the common man.

MMS scandal. It is interesting to read the current thread. A wide variety of opinions. Some say there is nothing wrong in it and so what if people have sex and MMS it!! Well...

In all this confusion one must always make extra efforts to retain sanity and work towards your Goals of Life.

Baki sab theek thak hai....
Subah hoti hai Sham Hoti Hai...
Zindagi yoon hi Tamaam Hoti Hai....

Regards,

Jagmohan

[bnashier]

Bhai Jagmohan:

Indeed, our society is experiencing ‘growing pains’. Even though our culture is very ancient, we are relatively young as an independent society (not even SIXTY yet). In a situation like ours and with a huge population like India has, today’s results and trends are expected. The ‘grab all you can by whatever means’ mentality kills any virtues of Impartiality, Loyalty and Honesty of Intention. There are several Indias now: Urban India, Rural India, Rich India, Poor India etc. When you travel from one part to another, you really notice the vast change and there is hardly anything in common among these divisions, including compassionate human feelings. The life styles of these groups are totally alien to each other and the gap is widening at a fairly fast pace. When we look at India of 20 years ago and India of today, it is impossible to predict what is coming in the next 20 years.

I should mention that there have not been any significant cultural changes (even with the explosion of technology) in North America in the last 20 years simply because it had gone through its growing pains way back and it had found its own value system. Our Indian society has a long way to go before it finds its equilibrium

[dahiyars]

We Should Stand For

Ø Fight against Female Foeticide which is playing havoc in the society of Haryana.
Ø Fight against Drug Addiction and Alcohol Addiction, both are epidemics in Haryana society.
Ø Fight against Criminalisation of Youth in the villages. It is said that there are 4000-5000 illegal arms in most of the big villages.
Ø Fight against Dowry which is ruining the society of Haryana.
Ø Fight against Rapists and Antisocial elements of the villages.
Ø Fight against huge Expenditure in Marriages.
Ø Fight against Purchase and Sale of Girls in the name of marriages.
Ø Fight for Better Education for all in the villages.
Ø Fight for Good Quality of Health of each village.
Ø Fight for Safe Drinking Water for each village.
Ø Fight for better Sanitation of each village.
Ø Today each village has many Gotras. The marriages are becoming impossible. The flexibility is required in the rigid framework. There are many examples before us. Nizampur village, guga heri village, samchana village are few examples to be quoted.
Ø Any panchayats should respact the Indian Constitution and should not go against its spirit. The individuals dignity and honor should be respeted.
Ø Khap Panchayats should not be allowed to behave as a parallel constitution. If they disagree on certain aspects, they can campaign for changes in the constitution but they cannot pass ‘fatwas’ as have been passed in Meham Maha panchayat regarding love marriages ete.
R.S.Dahiya

[dahiyars]

What khap panchayats do?
Even as the technology revolution has ushered in a new thinking resulting into changed ways of living, social values in Haryana do not seem to have changed much. It is a matter of serious concern that the khap panchayats in the state have assumed enormous illegal powers and are bent upon erasing the achieved impact of modernity by issuing crude forms of “fatwas” on private and public matters. The incidents of the recent past are a testimony to this fact. One will note that several innocent boys and girls have been “sentenced to death” for committing the “crime” of inter-caste or inter-religious marriages in the last four to five years. In 2000 Darshana Gehlawat faced endless humiliation when the panchayat in Jaundhi village in Jhajjar district ordered her to tie a “rakhee” on her husband Asheesh Dagar’s wrist and declare him her brother. The couple had an 18-month-old son, but that was of little value to the panchayat which held their wedding invalid because both of them hailed from the same village, and were therefore, brother and sister. One would also recall of a couple being stoned to death for an “endogamous” marriage in Shimla village of Kaithal district sometime in 1999. Similarly, in October 1999, the bodies of two teenagers were found in Ismaila village in Rohtak district. Here the Jat girl had fallen in love with the backward class “lohar” boy. Both were killed by the girl’s uncle and cousins. The “lohars”, too, had joined hands with the Jats to teach them a lesson. These patently illegal “sentences” are carried out in most brutal manners. The custodians of the khap often sanction couples’ murders, ostracism and various forms of torture which include tonsuring heads, blackening faces and parading people naked or on donkeys with a garland of shoes round the neck. The ruling elite and the neo-rich higher middle class appear to celebrate the rise of these khap panchayats as the region’s cultural identity. In fact, the suffix “panchayat” for such an illegal assembly is also a misnomer. Though the argument that the dictates of khap panchayats are backed by “customary law” has no sanctity in the eyes of law, their clout is ever increasing. The politicians and the lawmakers do not want to be seen as opposing them. And the reasons are obvious. But who will take the lead to check this manace? We need a peoples’ movement as the one like the Arya Samaj.
Dr D.P. Singh Mor, Punjabi University, Patiala