Contribution Of Jat Women And Their Status In Jat Society

[devdahiya]

Having stayed in the village for a long time and having seen our women slogging whole day without being appreciated by our men ever,our women have played a UNIQUE and IMPORTANT role in shaping the lives of each one of us.It is a different matter that our men never treated them more than a herd.Their responsibilities ranged from looking after cattles,children,food part,house the Fields.They always got up first and slept in the end.to top it up they took the **** from our men unquestioningly.The most touching charactristic of their temprament had been the unfazed coolness on their innocent faces inspite of tremendous bullying and abusing by our choudhary sahebs.I have the honour of seeing the indan women in every corner of India but i can vouch that i have not found that kind of Innocent,love filled and Godly calm face anywhere.
Amount of love and concern they have for their children is unparrelal, inspite of the fact that our men never gave them a damn.Our men unfortunately never became accountable to our women folks.They would do anything they like and get away with, but a smmallest mistake by a woman invited censure and rath of our men.They got thrashed without any rime and reason,most of the time for no faults of theirs but suffered silently in the larger interest of the family or may be because they had no option as the popular belief was," LADKI SASURAL MEIN DOLI MEIN BAITH KE JAYA KARRE AR PHER AARTHI PE SAMSANGHAT MEIN."
Ghar ki izzat had always been linked to the conduct of women.man could sin and get away but a smallest possible erring was enough for our woman to be targetted.These great Jat women thus have contributed hell of a lot towards our wellbeing,rearing,izzat and economy at all times and I SALUTE THEM FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEARTAND PRAY TO GOD FOR THEIR RIGHTFUL DIGNIFIED PLACE IN JAT SOCIETY.....GOD ARE YOU LISTENING?

[devdahiya]

Dear Members,

I Expected Some Comments But It Is Sad That U Have Not Found Time For Such An Important And Burning Topic.you Are Still Not Late Plz Do It Now






Dev

[jagmohan]

Dahiya Saheb,

What you have written is very true. Most women, why single out JATNIS, sacrifice much more than their rightful share. We have seen our women working in fields but then even those who live in metro cities also go through the grind.

How each one of us recognises this sacrifice is very individualistic. There are families where women are given more than equal status and that probably helps them forget the burden of work. I also know of people who look at the whole issue philosophically and say that if one is born as a woman then so be it and slog because that is how it has been. I have seen an old woman discarded by her two sons (unfortunately both Army Officers) and left to die in the village (I will not name the village because some of us might know the family). In the same village I have seen a boy thrash his own mother. On the other hand not very well to do and humble farmers sacrifice almost everything to look after an old mother.

But I agree that our women folk are doing the difficult task of 'bringing up families'. And I need not repeat the condition that prevails in our villages and what the men do or don't do. How to put an end to all this is the million dollar question. This has been discussed a number of times on this website, inconclusively I must add. The only solution lies with one's own conduct and behavior. Charity begins at home. Set a personal example for others to follow. This is the maximum one can do.

Regards,

JS Malik

[harvindermalik]

dehiya sahab...as i said on phone to u...u r very much right on this issue....aapne bdi gahrai se mahsuus kiya hai ...en halat ko...agar en halat ko sudharne ka bhi koi idea ho aur usme mai kuchh kam aa sku to aap batana.... thanx...

[rkumar]

More of Banasthali type Institutions for Jat girls in Haryana, western UP and other Jat inhabited areas will address the issue to a very large extent. Though most girls can join the co-educational institutions, however, many parents from rural background do not feel secured sending their daughters in such institutions. Here are the steps we can follow to make the beginning;

0. Identify a team of like-minded, dedicated and highly motivated few persons
1. Register a Society (mind you, on paper one can not say that the society will work only for Jat girls.so please find out)
2. Identify the places where it wants to set up the educational facilities
3. Work out the finances required
4. Identify the sources of finance
5. Get moving

well, it might sound very simple, however, in practice it is not so. Few of us will have to put up large personal contributions and start the project. Others will follow as they see the seriousness and the commitment.

Rajendra

[ajaygahlawat]

Hi All,

First of all, let me say that you all are great people to come out of your comfort zones and make an effort at it all.

Now I believe that we might need to get the men folk educated as well. Because the condition of women is not going to improve till the time the men don't give them enough credit. Everone should get the right education. (I don't mean formal education here) .

But what is impeding the education? I have often pondered on this question, and have never been able to conclude anything. Here are the uncooked thoughts anyway...

1. The lack of incentive..
The education system that we use has been fairly dated, and does not relate to the ground reality of getting people business. How many of us living in the rural areas are able to correlate our professional success to the education we recieved.

1. a. Another thing that I do observe is a bit of, what I call, an attitude problem. We assume that we are doing a favor to the authorities by getting educated, and that we should get the naukaries at the end of it. It is such a wrong expectation to have.

2. The economy...
The economy needs to be able to work for improving the overall standard of living.
We seem to have a tendency of hoarding money. If we were to channel that money to generate some more economic activity, and hence more money, and more employment, and a better standard of living.

2. a. The lack of leaders...
As a society, we have been very complacent since the green revolution. And that too was thought of in the capital. Do we generate some value on our own, or keep waiting for someone to feed us. I remember my dad's mamaji saying "Aaj kal ka naujawan te nu soche se, ak kite halwa ka pahad paa ja ar pada-e-pada khayen ja". How very true.
We need leaders to initiate change, to weigh the pros and cons of this change, do a thorough economic analysis, and move on to the next one.

3. Chauvinism.
We are clearly male chauvinists. But I am refering to the racial one here.
We take so much pride in ourselves, and are very rigid to change. Taking pride is not bad, but to maintain it through effort is another task.


Will post another one because this is clearly going out of scope for this discussion.

Kind Regards,
Ajay

[ajaygahlawat]

Sorry about the diversion in my last post. I do get carried away, and have to consciously keep tab on my thoughts.

One thing that I've always observed is the apathy to detail, and below are some of the things that can help improve the quality of life of the rural woman.

1. Cycles.
Bharote, Doghad, Hail etc... All on the head that is capable of doing better things.

I find manual effort too inefficient for that.
If the woman of the house can use a cycle, then that would improve her efficiency a lot, and may perhaps give her a bit more time for herself. And we being Haryana, are prosperous enough to be able to afford a cycle. Had it been some poor state, I would have thought twice about it.

1.a Or better still, we can use economies of scale, and outsource the part about moving goods to another entity. Who is this entity? Some young lad of an enterprenure who just decides that every half an hour he will have a buggy or tractor round from the village to the fields, and from the village to the well/handpump etc. Publishes the timings well enough. If it can not be a charge based service, then it can be a rotation based service, where some households decide to cooperate, and provide a person to do it for a day. But the details need to be sorted out based on particular situation.

2. OR better still, if there can be someone who can identify such achievable solutions and communicate them to the whole population, and then move on to the next village. Do we have such people? People who can convince others to take action?



There I go again. :). I am afraid, that I am having to check my train of thought again here for I don't even know if I am making any sense to any of you at all.


Kind Regards,
Ajay

[rkumar]

I am not fully aware how much manual work ladies do in Haryana these a days. However, in our area in western UP, most of these jobs where women used to carry things over their head, have long disappeared. There are no panghats, no hail and no bharote except in very rare situations. I cannot think of anything other than making food and helping the men folk during harvesting. Problem in our area is now of obesity of women. Trust me, most are overweight these days.

Let us look at the most money generating professions of today and our share in them;

1. Singing and acting: Jats have never been known to be in these areas at professional level, except in very few cases. May be we have some institutions for acting, modelling, music, fashion design etc.

2. Sports: Jats traditionally are good athletes and there is lot of money in these areas if we look at games like golf, football and tenis. High time we have coaching facilities in our area for these games. The facilities should be at village level. Not that every village has to have everything.

3. Many of the jats are good comedians and can beat the hell out of people like Surender Sharma and Jaspal Bhatti. We should spot the talents by organising annual competitions for Jat comedians.

4. Like Jat boys have made good name in cricket, I am sure jat girls can also do them same if facilities and encouragement can be provided. Shooting is another area where Jat girls can excel if facilities can be provided.

4. Aviation is another area where more and more Jat girls can be made aware of choosing the flying as career. Community has to join hands, as individual poor farmers may never be able to do this.

Moral of my writing is that we need community education. I was reading today that Nepal has 400 FM radio stations and where as whole India has only 100. I was looking at the possibility of putting a commercial community FM radio station few years back. However, beurocracy and the license fees are so massive that one cannot think of it. Wish things became simple. FM radio stations in Rural India can do wonders to educate the masses about new vocations and many other opportunities.

Regards
Rajendra

[ajaygahlawat]

My perceptions may be dated, for I have not been a regular rural observer for a long time now. So, please disregard anything that is irrelevant.

[devdahiya]

My Dear Ajay,

Let Us Not Get Into As To What Is Right And What Is Correct?your Inputs Will Always Be Respected.please Feel Free To Pen Down.



Dev

[shokeen123]

Oh God! Not that rhetoric again puhleeese! People who have read my posts and know me well can sympathize with my well-placed disgust for a certain learned colleague of ours. Nonetheless, for the “state-of-the-art-10-point-hard-to-implement-unfathomable- charter, here is a one-word answer:www.najcharities.org.

Golf! What? Are we on the same page? Devender and Ajay, for a heavy dose of reality please check the aforementioned site - I can assure you will find optimism for the grim scenario that keeps repeating itself because we keep getting distracted by a lot of fancy, modern but unrealistic lip service with hardly any applicability to our rural folks.

Your point very well taken Devender, you are so right, and one such Jatni was my own mother who left us sometime ago. She raised 6 children while managing the empire and here I am struggling to raise just two, and not quite near where she was, in instilling morality and other essential ingredients required for higher thinking. Oh how I wish my mother were alive to teach my kids a thing or two that she often used to intone in her religious and uplifting teachings to us!

You are right sometimes one does wonder whether there is such a thing called God at all, believe me, there is, we just don’t seem to see him, he is omnipresent of that I am sure.

There is a lot of truth in the colonel’s utterances though. It is a very big ambition one that cannot be achieved overnight, and not unless the women themselves don’t feel the need for a change. It may be too late (for the elderly mothers) to change their own place in society but I am sure they can raise a brand new generation with education, which can empower youth, and by that I mean boys and girls alike. And most certainly it must begin at home.

All of things Ajay has listed are true but may not be very relevant to the women’s upliftment per se, except for the attitude part. To change women’s status quo will require sowing seeds of education in their minds. They (the women) must by all means do everything for the girl child’s education. It must be ingrained in their blood like an obsessive thought to somehow educate their girls. Almost as obsessively as the mankind tries to leave behind his legacy through a male offspring, a woman should aim to leave behind an educated daughter. If a girl child is educated she will be empowered enough to be independent; and make any decision for herself, her small family unit to which she comes as a bride, and then for the well being of her own future children. Her education is the key to changing her attitude and subsequently her life. If her attitude is one of a survivor she needs no incentive, she is her own leader, she can create her own destiny, be flexible with her economy and will most definitively know how to fend off the chauvinism.

I once watched a nature program on public television that’s forever etched on my mind. It was about the lifecycle of a salmon, about survival and most importantly about sacrifice. What species would travel over 2000 miles just to have its young and then die? It has been said that anyone who has not seen a wild salmon has not seen what a fish should be. Mature salmon leave the Pacific Ocean as saltwater fish, never again to eat as they battle their way up the Columbia River to spawn in the home stream where they were born. Those born in the upper reaches of the Columbia River's tributary stream, the Snake River, travel more than 1,000 miles inland to lay their eggs and fertilize them, roughly one fourth of the distance across the United States. Without enough reserves in their bodies to get back to the Pacific, the adult salmon spawn and die. To spawn, a female salmon scoops a nest in stream-bottom gravel by her tail and deposits her eggs. Then the female brushes gravel over the eggs and both parents exhausted from the long torturous journey lie in the stream until they die. Come spring, the salmon eggs hatch into the tiny fish called "fry." The Pacific salmon never see their parents, but the first food they eat is their parents’ decomposed bodies.

If a species from the animal kingdom can reassure the survival of its offspring against all odds, including sacrifice its own life - the mankind is certainly gifted with much intellect and capabilities. The educated men should share these sentiments with uneducated men within their extended family and or community so that the women in their lives are allowed to be part of girl’s education. The village schools that are funded through NAJC are exactly implementing such small, baby steps, one at a time. Thank you for lending your ears!

With kind regards and apologies for the blatant truth…

Sujata

[ajaygahlawat]

Dear Suchi,

<<Hear ye hear ye hear ye!>>
Thanks for the hearing, the hearing, the hearing, and the link for reality check. :). Could you please provide link to the relevent parts as well. So far I can only find some volleyball events, and some things that look like minutes of meetings. Have not yet reached the section about women's plight.

I'll also try to read the conversations that you have posted to. About 500 of them. Now I miss on the speed reading skills that I was supposed to work on.

Thanks again as you have just helped the kids (me and other newbees) grow mature despite getting so annoyed with the repete. I must confess, I would have to call upon your tollerences again, as I am still growing up.

Kind Regards,
Ajay

[shokeen123]

Dear Ajay:

Suchie meri chhori ka naam sai. Anyway, to get to the point, the site www.najcharities.com, despite Kapoor’s hard work does need a little facelift for easy accessibility to the important highlights. I believe he is working on the site improvement as I recall from my last conversation with him, and the organization’s 10th anniversary information hasn’t quite made it pending some information update. I am not a techy person however, if you click on the left-hand menu on mission, or projects you will find a brief description, including formal statements on the rural development projects. If you click on the photo gallery it provides one with snapshots of a library; a girls’ school a hospital, a community center and an Olympian supported by NAJC. The Sri Ram Gram Vikas Smiti, Village Nagauri, Meerut, alone provides a glimpse into multiple projects simultaneously. I think for a small organization to have achieved so much in only ten years is more than can be said about the “vain brain” philosophy that doesn’t yield any results. That site doesn’t explicitly elaborate on women’s plight as much it prides itself with providing venues and resources to change it!

Oh by the way, I am not the official spokesperson of NAJC, but an absolutely devoted and ardent fan. I don’t get convinced easily but believe me, this site is involved in genuine community service.

I wanted you to know that your sincere enthusiasm hasn’t gone unnoticed… Best wishes in your mission to improve women’s status in our Jat society....

Sujata

[devdahiya]

MY DEAR SUCHIE,


great thoughts and so timely,these lines of yours should work as a tonic for readers.keep it up and i will be there where i thought i should be..............TAKE CARE.........THANX AGAIN




REGARDS



DEV

[vikramlal]

:)

Interesting. here is a discussion of jat women yet of the four members

in this forum only one happens to be female

[devdahiya]

Dear Mr Lal,


That precisely is the problem and solution lies in encouraging them to open up and face this ugly world with grit.Let us ask them to join the band-weagon.Thanx for your comments anyway.




REgards




DEV

[rkumar]

Dear Mr Lal,


That precisely is the problem and solution lies in encouraging them to open up and face this ugly world with grit.Let us ask them to join the band-weagon.Thanx for your comments anyway.




REgards




DEV

Exactly....When I said the same thing in some other similar threads, I was given all sorts of titles by a certain distinguished member. Do I have to repeat once more that to a large extent its the women who are responsible for the state of affairs in what they are. Men folk can take only part of the blame, and ofcourse vice verse.

Rajendra

[singhkapoor]

This Message/Post has been moved to another (more appropriate) thread...."Chapters and Itineraries". Sorry for the Inconvenience.

[uday]

Bhai Kapoor Singh,

Itney Meetha kaam se avagat karaney ke liya aapkab bahut bahut dhanyavaad.

Kai thread main dekha...
aadmi taddha ek jannanee tagdi..
Jat Girls... Vs..Jat Boys... But very few had tried to nurture the basic rules.. to uplift JAT manas.......


we, all site members, should come above "such topics"..lekin beech beech main chalta bhirehan chaiyye

By the way jo dear kapoor bhai ne sab logon ke barey main bataya...

This is the best what $ earning can return to uplift of his \her own community...especially for HINDU JAT's.

My question is ..

We all on jatland ...as of job...chaiye ...Dhyaadee ke mazdoor( service) ya fir lalagiri wale ( JAT Businessman ) ..
why can't we start some small scholarships ... atleast at our grass root level...

we can start at our own village school..to motivate young kids........( Zadd main panee dene ke liya.. not in leaves)....

To be on realisic side.. as of now .... I haven't started any such sponsering move .....Bade aadmi loog canadvise some suitable phenomenon..

all Acchey-Bhunddey suggestions are welcome ...

StayTuned
Uday.






Dear All

Arya Gram Vikas Samiti, Rathora, UP
Principal Sponsors:
VEENA & JAGBIR SINGH
A non-profit charitable organization dedicated to non-religious projects such as village community halls, medical dispensaries, and schools.

Flagship Project: Smt Hoshiari Devi Girls’ School, Rathora. Founded in 1998, this govt. accredited school imparts quality education in all subjects (grades 5 through 10) to nearly 200 girls.

The land for the school campus was donated by the village’s local government and the village Arya Samaj. The School’s modern buildings include reception room, offices, and 10 new well-furnished classrooms. All necessary amenities such as playgrounds and facilities for extra-curricular activities are made available within the school premises.

Two new major projects are underway:
1. A library, to be adequately equipped for the students and faculty, is under construction.
2. A plan to build a community hall adjacent to the school, for the school’s cultural activities and for use during village functions, is in the final stage of approval.

Sri Ram Gram Vikas Smiti, Nagauri, UP
Principal Sponsors:
SHEELA & JAIPAL RATHI
A non-profit charitable organization committed to development of a cluster of 14 villages around Nagauri, a village in Meerut UP about 60 KM north of Delhi.

Flagship Projects:
1) Sri Ram Vidya Mandir: A school with twenty classrooms, laboratories, and a library serves 550 kids from 14 villages. New accommodations for Acharyas were completed in 2003. Annual expenses are 6 lacs of which about 1 lac come from tuition. The rest (5 lacs - approx.$14,000 US) comes from chartable contributions.

2) Hospital: The proposed 30-beds hospital aims to provide a maternity ward, a general ward, eye department, pediatric ward, an operation theatre, and diagnostic facilities like X-ray machines & pathological lab. The construction of the hospital has been put on hold until main infrastructure of the school is completed.

Shri Siddhanti Memorial Trust
Barhana, Jhajhar, Haryana
Principal Sponsor:
AHLAWAT FAMILY, BARHANA/NEW JERSEY

This non-profit organization run by Arya Samaj Barhana was founded in 1988 by Ch. Ved Mittar in memory of his brother Sh. Jagdev Singh Siddhanti. The trust runs, among other projects, a free Ayurvedic Hospital, a public library, and training camps for the youth (including wrestling). In 1999 Ch. Ved Mittar donated 9.5 Acres of Agricultural land and nearly 5 lac Rupees to the trust.

Sukhram Memorial Public School
Kalirawan, Hisar, Haryana
Principal Sponsors:
SANTOSH & RAM S. ARYA
A non-profit school that opened in 2001 currently has 315 students (grades KG through 4, with 6:4 ratio of boys to girls). First batch of students will earn its high school (grade 12) diploma in 2012.

Spread over 28 acres, the school on completion will have 44,000 square feet of covered area in the form of a three-storied building. While Mrs. & Mr. Arya bought 3 the other 25 acres were a donation to the school from their agricultural holdings.

Besides classroom teaching of books, students learn Indian culture, customs, and history and take part in physical education, yoga, public speaking, gardening etc. School days are about one hour longer than Govt. schools and school year is 30-40 days longer also.

The Aryas, who dream of making it one of the best schools in the country, have committed to donate one million dollars at present: $100,000.00 each year for 10 years or as needed.


NAJC SCHOLARSHIPS (GENERAL)
Each year, NAJC provides up to 20 academic scholarships, for college education in India, to academically brilliant but needy students. Each scholarship, although dependent on an individual’s need, is approximately Rs. 30,000 per year and continues for four/five years so long as the student does well academically.

Smt. Lajja Vati Scholarship: Nitika Dabas, daughter of Dev & Sumedha, provides 6 scholarships per year (full expenses paid: tuition, uniform, books etc.) at Rathora School to girls who stand first in their respective classes. Nitika started these scholarships, in her grandma’s name, with the money she received as gift for her 16th birthday. Wow!!!!

Shri Mehar Singh Memorial Scholarship: Santosh & Ram Arya provide 18 scholarships/year at Nagauri School in memory of Santosh’s father. Each boy & girl who stands first in class receives the scholarship.

PARTIAL LIST OF OTHER NAJC SUPPORTED PROJECTS
Dayanand Mahila Shiksha Sansthan, Jhunjhunu, Rajasthan: Dr. Ghasi Ram Verma and his friends started in 1982-83 a cooperative girls’ hostel that currently houses over 300 girls. Sansthan also started a girls’ college in 2003. NAJC donated $10,000 to the institution.

Keru Shiksh Sansthan, Jodhpur, Rajasthan: Established by Mr. Hanuman R. Choudhary, the sansthan manages a senior secondary school that runs on tution-fees and donations. NAJC approved a donation of $10,000 for science labs and library ($5,000 each in 2004 & 2005).

Devendra, Javelin Gold Medalist (Special Olympics 2004): NAJC has helped Devender, a resident of Rajgarh, Rajasthan, buy equipment and has sponsored his trips to various International competitions.

Om Parkash Soni Charitable Trust, Jagraon, Punjab: Founded in 1999 by Mr. Ashok K Soni the trust runs a charitable medical clinic. The clinic provides medical assistance to poor and needy persons. Most of the funds are provided by Mr. Soni, through NAJC.

Mojiram Charitable Foundation, Harsana Kalan, Haryana: A trust founded in 2003 by Sushma & Kapoor Singh in Kapoor’s late father’s name. Currently 20 young girls are enrolled in a free vocational training program (Seamstress) that helps them become financially independent.

NAJC QUICKFACTS
• Publicly supported charitable, non-profit tax-exempt organization under Section 501(c)(3) of IRS code.

• Receives donations only from public (people like you & me) or businesses. No govt. funding.

• Volunteer-run; ZERO management expenses. 100% of donations used for charitable purposes.

• Unless you designate your contribution for a specific project, it goes into a general fund and the Board of Trustees decides on the project.

• All contributions to NAJC by US residents are tax-deductible for US income tax purposes.

• There is no minimum contribution requirement. NAJC is interested in larger public participation.

• A contributor may designate a specific charity or project for his/her contribution to be sent to.

• You do not have to be a member to contribute to NAJC causes.

Donor Sponsored Projects: A donor takes most of the financial responsibility for the sponsored project, which is managed by a non-profit organization. NAJC’s Board of Trustees reviews the organization & purposes of the project and approves funding by the sponsor to be sent to the project.

General Projects: A member, institute itself or general public brings the project and its needs to the attention of NAJC. Then NAJC selects the projects based on need, availability of funds and the benefit to the community.

Best Wishes

NAJC Family

[kulwant]

Generally I dont participate in such kind of debates, not because that I dont have any clue about the subject, but to me it appears that whenever these issues like Gender/cast/religion etc are discussed there is more of politics as well as a competition to appear intellectual then actually doing something concrete.

Since the issue was raised targeting the JAT COMMUNITY in whole and JAT CHAUDHRY in particular, so it was very difficult for me to refrain my self staying away from the hot and important topic(in reality it is very important).

This thread has got many responses in terms of replies and viewer ship and it will get more in days to come, I ask all those persons who have participated in this thread in one way or other, can any one tell where they have seen the “Innocent Jatnis”, being bullied and tormented. I think if the condition is so worse among the JAT COMMUNITY, then it is obvious that most of us must have experienced such bad experiences at our own homes also. If that is the case, then thousands of examples must come quoting our sisters, mothers and grand-mothers being tormented.

There is no doubt in me about the contribution of our female folks in our progress. Infact the profession like Agriculture can not be handled successfully without their help where as we have been doing it since centuries.

What I want to say is that we Jats(Chaudhri Sahabs) have not been so cruel to our Jatnis.

In my views everybody must get equal opportunity, equal respect, equal basic amenities, and equal human rights(irrespective of sex).

Question is how can we do it?
Ans. We must behave well when it comes to practically dealing with our female folks or vice-versa. We can do it with people who are in our area of influence.

Otherwise these issues are very good Vote Banks for our Politicians.

[devdahiya]

MY DEAR KULWANT,

Let me congratulate and appreciate you for NA-NA KARTE LIKH HI DALA ke liye......thanx a ton.With due regards and respect to your comments,let me inform you that when i initiated this thread,i expected divergant views and unless you listen to the views of different people,conclusions will always be ivassive.However i have no politics,badfeelings for our men folks,or any intentions of showing any intellectual superiority of any kind in my mind.it was purely an honest initiation of a talk which i suppose is of great relevance.

Yes, i stayed in my village and there are numerous instances of torturing and harrassment of women folk that i saw with my own eyes [live] and these instances definitly left their imprint in my mind,and now also whenever i visit my village or any village in relation,i come to hear such horrible stories that i cant even imagine. So what i have pen down is a first hand account of going-ons and there is nothing more than that.So,
kindly spare me your wrath dear...Ha...Ha....Ha

I once again thank you from the bottom of my heart for opening up....and mind you your comments are respected. Please stay TUNED...............................


WITH WARM REGARDS





DEV

[kulwant]

Dahiya Sir, my reply was neither against you nor against any other member of the jatland. It was my personal oppinion, and I again reiterate that no Cast/ Religion/Sex/Sect/Race etc. should be mollycoddled.




MY DEAR KULWANT,

Let me congratulate and appreciate you for NA-NA KARTE LIKH HI DALA ke liye......thanx a ton.With due regards and respect to your comments,let me inform you that when i initiated this thread,i expected divergant views and unless you listen to the views of different people,conclusions will always be ivassive.However i have no politics,badfeelings for our men folks,or any intentions of showing any intellectual superiority of any kind in my mind.it was purely an honest initiation of a talk which i suppose is of great relevance.


DEV

[nrao]

I can make two suggestions that may help a bit and does not cost any money at all. Both suggestions are for men:

i) Try to walk next to your wife or daughters. If you have married a person it makes sense to walk by her side. I have noticed that a lot of jat men have a tendency to walk steps ahead of their wives and other family members. I have no idea, why.

ii) If your children are small and are just able to walk, then sometimes carry them on your shoulder (not godi) during walks in the open. I have heard that it improves their self-esteem and they get used to heights that you expect them to reach. Please do not do that indoors or in markets otherwise your children can get injured hitting ceiling fans or shop doors.

Perhaps, some jat member doing research in psychology or cognitive science verify if these suggestions are good or not and provide more details about them.

[devdahiya]

MY DEAR NAVEEN,

TODAY you really taught me about the reason behind our father/uncle/dada ji lifting us up on their KANDHAAS.Sounds prety logical......it is a different matter whether they did it knowingly or by a way of folloings.Whatever it may be ...Baat dil mein utter gai bhai.........thanx





DEV

[devdahiya]

I can make two suggestions that may help a bit and does not cost any money at all. Both suggestions are for men:

i) Try to walk next to your wife or daughters. If you have married a person it makes sense to walk by her side. I have noticed that a lot of jat men have a tendency to walk steps ahead of their wives and other family members. I have no idea, why.

ii) If your children are small and are just able to walk, then sometimes carry them on your shoulder (not godi) during walks in the open. I have heard that it improves their self-esteem and they get used to heights that you expect them to reach. Please do not do that indoors or in markets otherwise your children can get injured hitting ceiling fans or shop doors.

Perhaps, some jat member doing research in psychology or cognitive science verify if these suggestions are good or not and provide more details about them.


My DEAR RAO BHAI,

It seems to be a subject of research and it sounds very logical to me. Both points are valid and practical.

THANX AGAIN

[devdahiya]

This thread deserves more inputs from learned members.....specialy in the light of what Mr Rao has observed.

[sampuran]

Many thanks to Dahiya Bhai for initiating a discussion that has wider ramifications not only for the Jat samaaj, but for the whole of humanity. The sacrifices and virtues of our women remind me of a beautiful poem taught in schools long back. (Any errors are purely unintentional) –

He abla teri yehi kahani,
Anchal mein hai dhoodh aur ankhon mein pani.

Today they are trying to come out of the closet/ purda but their woes have only increased. As if the existing oppression in our society was not enough, women folk are faced with new threats – of dowry, violence and lack of care in old age, molestations and rape. Spread of education, economic independence and awareness amongst the people have not led to increased respect and dignity for the fairer sex. The root of the problems could be traced to what Swami Dyanand had said more than a hundred years ago, “ India’s downfall started the day women were deprived of education and put behind the veil”.

Well, at some point in time purda could be justified owing to the presence of Muslim vultures for whom any women, especially Hindu, was a prized game. But post independence, our society failed to recover quickly. Unfortunately, there was no Swami Dayanand no Sir Chhotu Ram by then. Ch Charan did try, but his own field was not strictly social upliftment. The contributions of famous Lals and others have not been something worth mentioning. Surely there have been social thinkers and reformers, but obviously, they haven’t been very effective.

Many people have posted some good suggestions. Spl thanks to Sujata for ‘the blatant truths’ and information. Undoubtedly, education is the key. Not that it is not being done. But are some tangible results visible ? In rural areas we find big aversion to a girl child. So much so that boys are not finding matches. There aren’t enough girls in Punjab, Haryana etc ! Recently NDTV showed how overaged men are getting themselves brides from Bihar, Orissa and West Bengal.

In the same region you also find metric pass boys getting post graduate wives. Because, money and land-holdings are hot property in the marriage market. A very recent advantage is nuisance value of the boy – connections with goondas and gangs.

On the other hand, either it is the very educated bahus who do not want to live with aged mothers-in-law or they fail to pull up their erring husbands.

How are we to correct these skewed benchmarks gaining pre-eminence in the society. Certaily, education as has been taught over the last six decades is not sufficient. The fact is – THIS EDUCATION HAS FAILED TO CHANGE THE ATTITUDES OF THE MENFOLK.

In my opinion our battle is against attitudes. I don’t know how Najcharities is addressing this issue.

[devdahiya]

[.

How are we to correct these skewed benchmarks gaining pre-eminence in the society. Certaily, education as has been taught over the last six decades is not sufficient. The fact is – THIS EDUCATION HAS FAILED TO CHANGE THE ATTITUDES OF THE MENFOLK.

In my opinion our battle is against attitudes. I don’t know how Najcharities is addressing this issue.[/QUOTE]






A thousand mile journey begins with a single step. Thanx a ton Sampuran bhai for doing full justice to your post. I for one will certainly do my best even if it is a drop in the ocean. I am doing it as it is.

[devdahiya]

I found them to be the best on this planet in all respect.