Ek Jat Baap

[dahiyars]

Dear all

Pease read and do comment

Dr.R.S.Dahiya

[poonam]

I understand this dilemma. These days its a very sensitive issue and especially those who have gone through it will probably understand it much better. What all is said through this ragini is the absolute truth. Now a days we are progressing and letting our daughters make their careers is a good sign of development as a community. At the same time we (most of us, there can be exceptions here) do want to remain connected to our roots and follow our age old set community traditions and our own jat culture in all the walks of life be it hunting for a suitable match for our 'highly educated daughters'. Finding the right guy could be a nightmare unless u get real lucky..I think my dad would have written better on this... Anyway, here the problems start!!So here we go!!! where do we end? we end up ripped off in two images... split personality!!! eeb chhora jat hona chahiye..achhe khandan tae hona chhiye....barabar ka padha likha hona chahiye.. dekhen main bhi theek thaak hona chahiye..aakhir bataeu (son in law) sae...khaat pe baitha suthra laagna chahiye...eeb sab kimme theek hoja tae got gaat sae bhid jaa sae..er haan aajkaal mooh bhi tae ghana padan laag gae..main tae bhool ae gayi thee..Eeb haandte haandte jab babu ki jooti tootan laag jaa sae tae bheeterle man te tae woh bhi sochega ek kaum main bayah karna ke zaroori sae ..haan saachla jaat hoga tae kahwe konya per sochega zaroor er haan nue bhi soch sake hai ek chhoriya ne ghana padhana na chahiye..kuchh bhi ho dukhi honta tohmta rehga 'jat bataeu'!!!!
I really do not know where this kind of confusion is leading us to? and i think this ambiguity is more with the generation who has seen both types of world, both ages..the old one that used be there in the villages and the new and the changing ones thesedays! At this point of time i don't think that there can be any solution to avoid such scenarios but i do feel that this is not going to be a problem any longer as the generations pass by.

ebb thoda sa halwa mode... arre mera matlab sae ligher mode ..gajar ka halwa nahi..so no offence meant here..u all nice people:
eeb yo padhan aaley bhi jat ram sae tae kai tau nue bhi sochte honge ek iski gailya kimme nuey ban ri deekhe sae jab be ya is dhaal likhan laag ri sae....na tau..meri gailya tae konya ban ri par bhota gail banti dekh raakhi sae...mere te kimme bhaag sae khul gae they ..... :) .
ek aur private baat...pehli baar manne is site pe itna original saa likhya tha ..err kati chala hogya..submit karan tae pehla ae bera na kukar delete hogya...mera tae kati jee sa likad gyaa tha,,,per soo tae jaatni..kati sara yaad tha..pher bhaand diya nue ka nue....
cheers!!!!

[ajaygahlawat]

pher bhaand diya nue ka nue....

That was a super fantastic expression. Had a good laugh. Thanks!!

Does not mean that I couldn't relate to the content of your post. It is clearly a topic worth discussing.


In addition to what has already been said, I personally have some thoughts about the same...

1. The dowery part..
I believe it is not as bad these days. Atleast succesfull people seem to be averse to the idea. But my sample set may be limited and hence away from reality.

2. The balance of power...
Successful girls < Successful guys
in the community, and the former clearly hold the balance of power. That also translates into guys compromizing a lot more for their partners than the girls.

3. A note of caution.. One thing that I have seen some successful girls have trouble with is the part about expecting their partners to be lot more qualified/successful, etc. If one is successful, then one needs to accomodate. That, I believe, is a more general law of society. (Example. Subsidies paid out of the taxes of the rich.) . But in the context of this discussion, I guess the social conditioning that we get/got prepared the guys for relatively lesser qualified partners, and the girls for the converse. May make things even hard for the already tired/stressed girl (and the baap).

Cheers!!
Ajay

[uday]

well written Dr. Dahiya.

Dr. Sansanwal:- well said ! Bhaand bhandolee se hi duniya kayam hai