he he he he he he

[jogiya]

Doctor to Sardar: 'Aapka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai!'
Sardar: 'Hoga, zaroor hoga! 25 saal se mera khoon jo pee rahi hai!'

JOGIYA IS BACK



Banta Singh: 'Yaar, tu parda laga ke biwi ko pyar kiya kar. Kal bahaar se tum dono dikh rahe the!'
Santa singh: 'By god main bach gaya, kal main ghar mein nahi tha!'


JOGIYA IS BACK

[jogiya]

A sardarji had a daily routine, going to office in bus and then returning home by it. One day he got late for the bus to return home. He ran after the bus and reached home running and huffing.

After reaching his house he told his wife that he had saved Rs.3 by running after the bus and reaching home.

Instead of getting an acknowledgementhe got a huge slap from his wife. Sardarji was puzzled?

He asked his wife that why did she slap him.

Her reply was, 'If you had run after a taxi you could have saved Rs.70 instead of Rs.3!'


JOGIYA IS BACK

[jogiya]

Bandar apni ma se bola, 'Ma main kitna badsoorat hoon!'

Ma boli, 'Tu to phir bhi theek hai, usko dekh jo yeh padh raha hai!'


JOGIYA IS BACK

[jogiya]

Santa Singh and wife Jaspinder came upon a wishing well. Santa Singh leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.

The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.

Santa Singh was stunned for awhile but then smiled and said, 'It really works!'


JOGIYA IS BACK

[jogiya]

Mr . Laloo Prasad Yadav was sitting with his Ministers examining mail . Suddenly Mr. Laloo cried out : ' Look at this letter ! It is addressed to the stupidest man in Bihar '. His ministers tried to calm him by saying : How dare a man address such a letter to you ? '. Mr. Laloo replied sadly : This does not bother me, but why did the postman deliver it at the right address?'


jogiya is back


Laloo becomes PM (if you haven't cut your throat yet, read on) and goes to Pakistan for a one-on-one with Pervez Musharraf. They decide to meet without aides and are closeted for about 5 minutes.
Laloo then emerges from the room. Reporters clamour for a statement.
"Pervezbhai will make the announcement" is all Laloo will say. Musharraf comes out and drops a bombshell - Pakistan has decided to give up all claims on Kashmir, with no strings attached!
The world is stunned. Laloo has achieved in 5 minutes what others had failed to in 50 years! How did you do it, what did you promise, the press clamours.
"Sab akai-waalon ka kamaal hai," (All because of the Akai company people) says Laloo. "Who kehte hain na, TV loge tho fridge doonga, video khareedein to cellphone free (They give fridge free if you buy TV, cellphone free if you buy VCR )... tho ham bhi Pervezbhai se keh diye: "aapko Kashmir chaahiye na? Le jaayie. Magar saath mein Bihar free milega, bas!" (SO, I said to Pervezbhai - "You want Kashmir, right? Take it. But you will get Bihar free with it!")

[jogiya]

Following an especially angry argument, Laloo and Rabri went to bed not speaking to each other.
Needing to arise early the following morning, Laloo left a note on his Rabri's bedside table that said: "Imartee ki Amma, humko kal bhor paanch baje utha dijiyega."
An annoyed Laloo awoke at ten the following morning and rolled stiffly out of bed to see a note on his bedside table: "Barfi ke babuji, paanch baje gaye hai, aapka uthne ka samay ho gaya hai!"


JOGIYA IS BACK

[jogiya]

A Bihari after coming back from a three hour long class says: Saala pura body headache maar raha hai

A Bihari goes to a movie hall and asks for two tickets,Do tho ticket dena. The person at the window tells him that there is a house full, so this Bihari says koi baat nahin do house full de do.


JOGIYA IS BACK

[jogiya]

A Schoolmaster from a remote rural area in Bihar was transferred to a new School in Mumbai. He reported for duty two days before August 15 and, as was the practice in the school, was asked to address the school assembly on Independence Day.
Here's his dynamite speech :
Leddies and Gentulmens, Contemporaries, Children, "This is my first maiden speech. If small mistakes get inside my speech, I ask pardon. Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint your school more fastly, but for the following reason. Too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment. The clerk rejected to give ticket. I put complaint on stationmaster. He said me to go to lady clerk. At first she also rejected. I then pressed her for long time and at last with great difficulty she gave a birth only to my son. Anyway I thanked the stationmaster because he was responsible for getting birth of my son. We got independent because of great leadersz linke Gundhiji who get-outted all angrezi peoples from India. Tilak said Swaraj is our birth rate and we shall halve it. Today we all have our birth-rate. You children are future dynamic generators of the Nation. Look into future time only. No backside looking, or looking at your behind. Be like great like X' raj Ranjan of Germany or Presidents like Loosebelt, Dim Butter, Lipton etc. You know genius, no? It is one per cent perspiration and ninety seven percent evaporation. They became great by reading great books. After we finish you off here in the school, you can go to college and get B.A., M.A., M.A.M.A and other decrease. Then you can become great liars in the supreme courts, shattered accountants, or lecherers in college. The school is like a garden. You are the seeds, classroom is the soil. We will bury you in this soil, pour water of knowledge on your heads and one-day you all will become great phools. Many vacancy job come in papers. Only yesterday I saw in paper "Wanted for refuted engineering firm: - Generators, highpower condensors" so and so forth, etc. These jobs may be teknickel, but you can shine. If you have flare in English, you can become teacher. I am now ending this fastly. My God blast you! Thank you and thank God!


JOGIYA IS BACK

[jogiya]

Subject: A class in Bihar College This is a true incident which happened in a college: A new lecturer (also a Bihari professor) was unable to control the class. The guys were just talking without giving any attention to him. So he wanted to send a guy who was creating most of the problem out. But he doesn't know how to put it in English. He went near the guy. Shouted "follow me" .The guy followed him till he went out of the class. Now the lecturer turned back and again shouted "Don't follow me" and went inside the class........
Bihari Professor.
Inside the Class:
Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
Cut an apple into two halves -take the bigger half.
Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal just passed away in the corridor.
You, meet me behind the class.
Both of you three, get out of the class.
Close the doors of the windows please .. I have winter in my nose today...
Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.....
Take 5 cm wire of any length....

About his family :
I have two daughters. Both of them are girls...
At the ground :
All of you, stand in a straight circle.
There is no wind in the balloon.
To a boy, angrily :
I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?
Giving a punishment :
You, rotate the ground four times...
You, go and under-stand the tree...
You three of you, stand together separately.
Why are you late - say YES or NO....



JOGIYA IS BACK REPLY