ashokkhatri
June 11th, 2005, 12:10 PM
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ek bai ek batau(chori ka pati) apni susrad challya gaya.jab woh roti khaan lagya to ghee bura ki jagahn uske aage gantha roti dhar di.gantha roti ne dekhte ain woh ron lagya.uski saasu ne bujhya ke baat beta kyon rowe se?
woh bolya-main to nyu soch ke roun soon ke tere mare paache manne ye fruit koun khwawega.
HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!
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ek bai ek chorra bus main chd tain jind jaa tha...
raste main ambale main bus rookgi.chorra cha paani peen khataar utar liya.
waapas aaya to uski seat pe ek tau baithya paaya......
chorre ne keha tau.....yo meri seat hai
tau kehmta kyukar.....tera ke aade naam likh rakhya hai/?
chorra kehta-main yade aapna rumaal dhar ke gaya tha nisani ke tor pe
tau kehmta-wah bete yo badhiya.......kal ne tun mere khet main jaake rumaal dhar dega to ke khet tera ho jyaaga?
lol..........ha ha ha
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ek bar ek masterji jo ghana patla tha, naya paplin ka kurta pajama peher key school mey aya aur balko sey puchney laga, kisa laagu su,balak bole ji bahut suthre lago so.masterji ney phir sey kaha sachi-sachi batou , balak ney phir sey master ji ki tarif kari , par masterji ney gyan sa nahi aya aur bole mey kuch nahi kahuga sachi-sachi batou.ek andy balak bolya ji mey batau , ishey lago ho jannu bidi key bandal mey 2 hi bidi reh rhi ho.
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Bhaio Baat s Indira Gandhi ki Emergency ke time ke, us time batawan hai ke loga n jabardasti pakad k nas bandhi kara kartey, to bhaio Doctaran ke isey team k ek Tau Bhey Phans ga ar bhai un n tau ka operation kar diya.
Operation ke thodey a haan pachey tau dhore dusrey team aagey (un dina t doctor nu hande they na jukar saad m gijaye handa kara hain) or tau pakar liya. Tau chho(Angry) m to pehlan a ho raha tha bola
"Are eb ke karo ge thodi a haan pehlan to connection kaat k gaye they, eb to bus yo meater-meater rah raha h isney le jantey ho to le jao.
Hahaaaaa
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ek baar 6 larki hone ke baad kisi ke ghar main larke ne jnam liya. te larke kaa naamkaran ke khatir ek pandit bulaa liya. pandit ne patraa dekh ke kahaa ke ye larkaa to subh nahi se. isne te maar do nahi te jab yo pahli baar bolegaa jab jo teen naam pahele legaa wo teeno aadmi mar jaange. te pariwaar ke member bole naa bare dino baad larka janmaa se isne naa maaraa , badale main teem aadame baisak marjaao koi baat nahi, te jab larkaa bolan laagaa te usne pahele kahaa "dada" te larke ka dadaa margaa, sochaa koi baat naa baraa adami thaa margaa te koi baat naa se, jab kuchh din baad larke ne bolaa "naanaa" te larke kaa naanaa bhi margaa, ab te saare pariwaar ne chintaa thee ke abki baar kiski baari hogi te larke ne ek din shyaam ko kahaa "papa " or larke kaa papa naa maraa te saare pariwaar main khushi ki lahaar dorgi or kahane lage "pandit jhuthaa thaa" .
wo jab morning main bahar nikale te unkaa paroshi maraa gali main maraa paraa milaa (means the naughbour man is the real father of baby)
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Ek Bar ek haasye Kavi sammelan howe tha ar ek kavi n keh diya ke sarkar chor hai, itna kehtey he sammelan mey mojood kai mantri suda jutian kavi ke sir p chad ge ak tane sarkar tahin chor kaha to kaha kookar.
kavi bhe chalak tha bola "jab maney to nu kahi hai ke sarkar chor hai, nu to na kahi ke pakistan ki chor hai ya india ki."
Mantri bole acha ji hamey bewkoof samajtey ho jaisey hamey pata hi nahi ke kahan ki sarkar chor hai.
Hahaaaaaaaaa
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Ek baar ek jat bahut tej baarish mien dahi lene gaya. dukaandaar ne aise hi pooch liya ke kyon bhai , teri shaadi ho gayee kya...
Jat - tu ke samajh raha ke mai apnee maa kahne par itni baarish mien dahi lene aaya hoon...
****************************
A guy from Uttar Pradesh (UP) was away from his family for about 4 years while his wife was in Jaunpur (UP). At the end of 4 years he distributed sweets to his colleagues in office stating that his wife had delivered a son...
His colleagues were quite shocked and they asked how this "happy event" happened when he had not seen his wife for four years... The man said it is common in UP that neighbours take care of the wife (good samaritans) when men are away. The colleagues asked Whatname
will you give to the son?"
The man explained, "If its the second neighbour who has taken care,then the name would be DWIVEDI;
If it is the third neighbour then it would be TRIVEDI,
If it is the fourth neighbour then it would be CHATURVEDI;
If its the fifth neighbour then it would be PANDEY...
After listening to this, questions followed. What if it is a mixture of neighbours? "Then the boy would be named MISHRA"...
And what if the wife is too shy to tell the name of the neighbour? "hen it would be SHARMA"...
But what if she refuses to divulge the name of the neighbour? "Then thename of the child would be GUPTA"...
If she does not remember the name then? "It is YAAD-AV...
But who knows whether the child resulted from a rape? "Then it will be named DOSHI"...
Finally, if the child happened because of wife's burning desire for sex, then he will be named JOSHI...
And if the whole country had made efforts for the happy arrival .... DESHPANDEY!!
****************************
Ek Baar Mharey Sanskrit ke Class (Jat School Rohtak) mey Mharey Guru Ji na Balkan ta Bujhi
"Tumhara aur Mera Kutta Laad Rahey Hain" Iskey Sanskrit Banao
Ek Bola Main Bataoo Guru Ji, Guru Ji Boley Haan Bata Bhai, Chora Bola
"Tawam Awam ka Kutta GUTHAM GUTHAA"
HaaaaaaaHaaaaaaaa
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BADLOO: TERI BHABHI KE SAATH MAI 25TH ANNIVERSARY (MARRIAGE) PE SYDNEY JAA RHA HUN.
SHERU: BHAI BADLOO TANNE TO KAMAAL KAR DIYA. ITNA KHARCHA KAREGA ? CHAAL TERI MARZI. PAR NYU BATA EK 50th ANNIV. PE KIT JAWE GA?
BADLOO: SYDNEY
SHERU: PHIR SE SYDNEY
BADLOO: AURR.... WA WAPIS BHI TO LAANI HAI.
****************************
Ek bai interview mai ek Angrej nai JAT tai puchhya-Do you know English???
Jat pure confidence tai bolya…: YES…Angrez fer bolya… How much??
Jat bolya… Baisssssss
****************************
ek bai ek batau(chori ka pati) apni susrad challya gaya.jab woh roti khaan lagya to ghee bura ki jagahn uske aage gantha roti dhar di.gantha roti ne dekhte ain woh ron lagya.uski saasu ne bujhya ke baat beta kyon rowe se?
woh bolya-main to nyu soch ke roun soon ke tere mare paache manne ye fruit koun khwawega.
HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!
****************************
ek bai ek chorra bus main chd tain jind jaa tha...
raste main ambale main bus rookgi.chorra cha paani peen khataar utar liya.
waapas aaya to uski seat pe ek tau baithya paaya......
chorre ne keha tau.....yo meri seat hai
tau kehmta kyukar.....tera ke aade naam likh rakhya hai/?
chorra kehta-main yade aapna rumaal dhar ke gaya tha nisani ke tor pe
tau kehmta-wah bete yo badhiya.......kal ne tun mere khet main jaake rumaal dhar dega to ke khet tera ho jyaaga?
lol..........ha ha ha
*********************
ek bar ek masterji jo ghana patla tha, naya paplin ka kurta pajama peher key school mey aya aur balko sey puchney laga, kisa laagu su,balak bole ji bahut suthre lago so.masterji ney phir sey kaha sachi-sachi batou , balak ney phir sey master ji ki tarif kari , par masterji ney gyan sa nahi aya aur bole mey kuch nahi kahuga sachi-sachi batou.ek andy balak bolya ji mey batau , ishey lago ho jannu bidi key bandal mey 2 hi bidi reh rhi ho.
****************************
Bhaio Baat s Indira Gandhi ki Emergency ke time ke, us time batawan hai ke loga n jabardasti pakad k nas bandhi kara kartey, to bhaio Doctaran ke isey team k ek Tau Bhey Phans ga ar bhai un n tau ka operation kar diya.
Operation ke thodey a haan pachey tau dhore dusrey team aagey (un dina t doctor nu hande they na jukar saad m gijaye handa kara hain) or tau pakar liya. Tau chho(Angry) m to pehlan a ho raha tha bola
"Are eb ke karo ge thodi a haan pehlan to connection kaat k gaye they, eb to bus yo meater-meater rah raha h isney le jantey ho to le jao.
Hahaaaaa
****************************
ek baar 6 larki hone ke baad kisi ke ghar main larke ne jnam liya. te larke kaa naamkaran ke khatir ek pandit bulaa liya. pandit ne patraa dekh ke kahaa ke ye larkaa to subh nahi se. isne te maar do nahi te jab yo pahli baar bolegaa jab jo teen naam pahele legaa wo teeno aadmi mar jaange. te pariwaar ke member bole naa bare dino baad larka janmaa se isne naa maaraa , badale main teem aadame baisak marjaao koi baat nahi, te jab larkaa bolan laagaa te usne pahele kahaa "dada" te larke ka dadaa margaa, sochaa koi baat naa baraa adami thaa margaa te koi baat naa se, jab kuchh din baad larke ne bolaa "naanaa" te larke kaa naanaa bhi margaa, ab te saare pariwaar ne chintaa thee ke abki baar kiski baari hogi te larke ne ek din shyaam ko kahaa "papa " or larke kaa papa naa maraa te saare pariwaar main khushi ki lahaar dorgi or kahane lage "pandit jhuthaa thaa" .
wo jab morning main bahar nikale te unkaa paroshi maraa gali main maraa paraa milaa (means the naughbour man is the real father of baby)
****************************
Ek Bar ek haasye Kavi sammelan howe tha ar ek kavi n keh diya ke sarkar chor hai, itna kehtey he sammelan mey mojood kai mantri suda jutian kavi ke sir p chad ge ak tane sarkar tahin chor kaha to kaha kookar.
kavi bhe chalak tha bola "jab maney to nu kahi hai ke sarkar chor hai, nu to na kahi ke pakistan ki chor hai ya india ki."
Mantri bole acha ji hamey bewkoof samajtey ho jaisey hamey pata hi nahi ke kahan ki sarkar chor hai.
Hahaaaaaaaaa
****************************
Ek baar ek jat bahut tej baarish mien dahi lene gaya. dukaandaar ne aise hi pooch liya ke kyon bhai , teri shaadi ho gayee kya...
Jat - tu ke samajh raha ke mai apnee maa kahne par itni baarish mien dahi lene aaya hoon...
****************************
A guy from Uttar Pradesh (UP) was away from his family for about 4 years while his wife was in Jaunpur (UP). At the end of 4 years he distributed sweets to his colleagues in office stating that his wife had delivered a son...
His colleagues were quite shocked and they asked how this "happy event" happened when he had not seen his wife for four years... The man said it is common in UP that neighbours take care of the wife (good samaritans) when men are away. The colleagues asked Whatname
will you give to the son?"
The man explained, "If its the second neighbour who has taken care,then the name would be DWIVEDI;
If it is the third neighbour then it would be TRIVEDI,
If it is the fourth neighbour then it would be CHATURVEDI;
If its the fifth neighbour then it would be PANDEY...
After listening to this, questions followed. What if it is a mixture of neighbours? "Then the boy would be named MISHRA"...
And what if the wife is too shy to tell the name of the neighbour? "hen it would be SHARMA"...
But what if she refuses to divulge the name of the neighbour? "Then thename of the child would be GUPTA"...
If she does not remember the name then? "It is YAAD-AV...
But who knows whether the child resulted from a rape? "Then it will be named DOSHI"...
Finally, if the child happened because of wife's burning desire for sex, then he will be named JOSHI...
And if the whole country had made efforts for the happy arrival .... DESHPANDEY!!
****************************
Ek Baar Mharey Sanskrit ke Class (Jat School Rohtak) mey Mharey Guru Ji na Balkan ta Bujhi
"Tumhara aur Mera Kutta Laad Rahey Hain" Iskey Sanskrit Banao
Ek Bola Main Bataoo Guru Ji, Guru Ji Boley Haan Bata Bhai, Chora Bola
"Tawam Awam ka Kutta GUTHAM GUTHAA"
HaaaaaaaHaaaaaaaa
****************************
BADLOO: TERI BHABHI KE SAATH MAI 25TH ANNIVERSARY (MARRIAGE) PE SYDNEY JAA RHA HUN.
SHERU: BHAI BADLOO TANNE TO KAMAAL KAR DIYA. ITNA KHARCHA KAREGA ? CHAAL TERI MARZI. PAR NYU BATA EK 50th ANNIV. PE KIT JAWE GA?
BADLOO: SYDNEY
SHERU: PHIR SE SYDNEY
BADLOO: AURR.... WA WAPIS BHI TO LAANI HAI.
****************************
Ek bai interview mai ek Angrej nai JAT tai puchhya-Do you know English???
Jat pure confidence tai bolya…: YES…Angrez fer bolya… How much??
Jat bolya… Baisssssss
****************************