ozyjat
August 3rd, 2005, 09:26 AM
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a
word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them
wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats,
and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use
a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has
to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the
coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then
we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you
should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my
coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible
that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him
at the top of several pages, that it indeed says..........
"HEBREWS"
A REAL blonde joke
Homer, a handsome dude, walks into a sports bar around 9:58 PM.
He sits down next to this blonde at the bar and stares up at the TV.
The 10:00 news was on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looks at Homer and says, " Do you think he will jump?"
Homer says, "You know, I bet he'll jump."
The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."
Homer placed $20 dollars on the bar and said, "You're on!" Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $20 dollars to Homer and said, "All is fair. Here is your money."
Homer replies, " I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the
5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."
The blonde replies, "I did too, but I didn't think he'd do it again."
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a
word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them
wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats,
and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use
a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has
to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the
coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then
we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you
should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my
coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible
that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him
at the top of several pages, that it indeed says..........
"HEBREWS"
A REAL blonde joke
Homer, a handsome dude, walks into a sports bar around 9:58 PM.
He sits down next to this blonde at the bar and stares up at the TV.
The 10:00 news was on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looks at Homer and says, " Do you think he will jump?"
Homer says, "You know, I bet he'll jump."
The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't."
Homer placed $20 dollars on the bar and said, "You're on!" Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $20 dollars to Homer and said, "All is fair. Here is your money."
Homer replies, " I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the
5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."
The blonde replies, "I did too, but I didn't think he'd do it again."