Inter Caste Marriage!

[roopak]

Dear Friends,

recently i saw people discussing problems related to dowery in our society..as i was going through some of the views ..something struck to my mind and thz the increasing trend of inter caste marriage these days...........this is not only prevailing in punjabi's and but these days even jat youth is also quite happy in availing this kinda option....well there can be number of reasons for all this like....
1. love marriages.
2. proffessional compatibility
3. sex ratio in jats........etc.

but still to me its simply not acceptable......if the reason for choosing a life partner due to first reason i.e. love marriage then you are doing the biggest crime and that is ruining the life of your parents..coz i've seen many example where a son/daughter got married with some guy or gal of other caste and as a result there parents got bycotted by their own relatives ,friends,society. and to me this is but natural......how good that spouse may be but he or she can never adjust to the customs,day to day life of your family.......

well friend this was only one of the aspect of this this inter caste relationships ..i hope some of you will show light to other two reasons quoted above and aslo i will love t osee your responses about what i have stated above.

Contra views are invited!

Regards,
Rupender Singh

[dahiyarules]

Bhai. simple sa logic hai. Jisse jo karna hai karne do. live and let live. I personally dont care who marries who. I wish people give weightage to their personal well being and happiness over social pressures.

Ab meri kahani sun. My ma is going to beat the crap out of me if if I even mention anything alien to Jat traditions. hehehe. Ofcourse, its not happening. But you got my point. Dont make your dream palaces over the graves of your parents ambitions. Jo karna hai, ma-baap se salah karke.

Goodluck to you, if you have something in your mind. You have my thumbs up.

[roopak]

Bhai. simple sa logic hai. Jisse jo karna hai karne do. live and let live. I personally dont care who marries who. I wish people give weightage to their personal well being and happiness over social pressures.

Ab meri kahani sun. My ma is going to beat the crap out of me if if I even mention anything alien to Jat traditions. hehehe. Ofcourse, its not happening. But you got my point. Dont make your dream palaces over the graves of your parents ambitions. Jo karna hai, ma-baap se salah karke.

Goodluck to you, if you have something in your mind. You have my thumbs up.
thts the problem here mate......our parents will atlast accept wht evr we deside but tht will not be wht they want..otherwise puraane time meain to eessseee bat kehen pe to luth lage en tel pilaya ke......... :) ..but tht was my view yaar i think kuch bhi kaho this is the only thing tht our parents expect from us......anyways tht was only my view of seeing life .......go on if u have somebody in ur life and ur parents are ready to face the music..good luck!

Regards
Rupender Singh

[jagmohan]

A very simple formula for all those who think that our parents are too old fashioned to relate to newer things.

Here it goes: PLEASE use your broadmindedness on your children and NOT on your parents. See if you are comfortable when your child comes and tells you that he has decided to marry someone from the Harijan community.

In my view there is nothing wrong in our age old customs and traditions.

Regards,

JS Malik

[haryanajat]

Bhai. simple sa logic hai. Jisse jo karna hai karne do. live and let live. I personally dont care who marries who. I wish people give weightage to their personal well being and happiness over social pressures.

Ab meri kahani sun. My ma is going to beat the crap out of me if if I even mention anything alien to Jat traditions. hehehe. Ofcourse, its not happening. But you got my point. Dont make your dream palaces over the graves of your parents ambitions. Jo karna hai, ma-baap se salah karke.

Goodluck to you, if you have something in your mind. You have my thumbs up.
Haha aap sahee raaste par aa hae gayee. :D I will ignore the rest. ;)

[dahiyarules]

Look dude I just said do what you feel is good. Personally, my viws are little on the conservative side. ANd the golden rule of conservatism is not to enforce your views on others. I really dont care what other people do behind closed doors, to derive their fair share of happiness. Jiyo aur jeene do.

[sandeepk]

well mr. rupender i do respect ur ideas of not marrying out of the caste and marrying inside the caste and then u gave the idea of love marriges. what if the guy gets a gril from his caste only and they both are from the same caste. what would u say then. is that still goona be an ilogical relationship in ur and the society eyes or u goona call that a sensible act. to be very true i am putting up my own personal views what i feel is that there is no harm in doing love marrige as u have choosen the person and u need to spend ur life with him or her. u might have a better adjustment if both are very true and frank to each other but at the same time u might be in trobuled waters if u have no understanding and ur motive of loving somebody was something else. but certanily i would liketo know ur views on what if a guy or a girl loves somebody from the same community.is that right or wrong.

[ashokkhatri]

wow...... now free choice is been branded as crime... well ..well well this is news. I am kinda amazed that use of social pressure is considered good and free choice aka love marriage is been said to be as a crime... anyway here are my 2 cents

Desicions which are personal should be left to the person himself/herself be it the choice of marriage or anything else. Now according to economics 101, every person has his/her own indiffernce curve while choosing his partner, and the factors effecting the curve charchterstics can be compatibility, likemindedness, attractiveness.. etc depending on the persons free choice. There can be other factors also which determine the indifference curves such as person's weightage of his/her parents views, social acceptability (if anyone considers that as a factor) etc. Now the rational person will choose the highest indiffernce curve that satisfies all his/her criterias and are within the cost line (had there not been a cost factor everyone would like to marry the marry the best among all the criterias). So its simple choose the one indifference curve that is tangent to the cost line.

Now it may seem then whats the problem. Well the problem is when other people try to decide a persons indiffernce curve. My views, hands off, its my life, its my choice.

Now responding to the age old argument , will you allow your child to get married to a harijan... well this is crap argument...coz I think my children will be intelligent enough to make thier own choices, what the cast of that person is immaterial, and why cast, what the nationality , race of that person is immaterial as long as the person who is getting married thinks that this is the best choice for him/her.

And as said apply your broadmindedness on your children and not parents, well I say why any one of them. Apply it on yourself, let parents and children make their choices and you make your choice.

In all the above arguments I have not in any way tried to say that love marriage is good or arranged marriage is good. I am just saying leave it to the person getting married. Also its very much possible that the persons views are same as his/her parents.

As for examples, I can tell you so many examples of arranged marriages where the marriage was not compatible but still went on due to so called social pressures. And what about thousands of women in villages who get arranged married and then are left with no one to listen to thier problems when they are exploited and abused. Where does the so called society go when these things happen.

[mayank_singh]

any custom we follow is the requirement of that time , so whatever customs we are following they might have been very relevant at some period of times and also still they might be well according to time so

wwhat Col. Malik has said i agree with him lets try it with our kids and not with our parents

[vdeswal]

hay-hay!!! how can you all neglect the importance BLOOD TRAITS.

whoever is supporting intercaste marriage, remember !!! wht we are born with matters the most and it's all in your blood wht takes you elsewhere or everywhere in life.

Discussions,well!! most welcome on such topics but relevant truth is something else which we all know conciously or unconciously and thts why this ICM is not practised quite regularly.

However i still feel even with time,it's gonna be long to take this as normal practice.

Also i remember smbody talking about this same topic few days back saying [U[I]]"it doesn't matter with whom you do your BUSINESS or earn your livings, but surely it does mater with whom you breed.Sounds li'll absurd but thts the real fact. Believe it or not and it's not Riplay's show my dear friends.

[devdahiya]

For any society to be worthy of respect and of substance[towards recognition and standing] Healthy customs and Traditions are a must. Otherwise a group without these will be a directionless lot. Yes Traditions and customes must undergo changes with advent of time else they will surely appear outdated and as such won't be suited to the needs of the group. As there is a constitution to govern a state so are the Traditions and customs. As the constitution needs ammendments[without causing any damage to it's basic structure] as we advance into the future, same way Custom and traditions be ammended without fiddling with the basic structure[say purpose],for a group or society to be governd by certain time tested principles of living life in a specific[as per the basic requirments and suiting the temprament of such a group] manner. Traditions and costums are the Mirror/identification of a group or society and moment you scrap such traditions for something else that group/society also dis integrates with its scraping.

[arunshamli]

I agree that the marriage should never be with out the consent of boy and the girl. The real factor in the marriage is the bride and the bridegroom and not the parents. Swayam-vara is the most ancient form of marriage in our country. Even girls had the choice of choosing the boy of their choice. But many parents simply force their own decision on their children’s and in the long run that does not prove to be good for any body.

What is not good however is that you marry a person and makes everyone unhappy. Loosing all the existing relations to make a new relation is not a very wise thing. If the person you are marrying has some good characteristic, explain it to your parents why this could be a good choice for you and for everyone else. And I am sure if explained nicely most of the parents will be agree with your decision. The problem starts when you make a decision with out consulting your elders. We tell them only after we have made a decision and the parents do not accepts it. They feel being ignored and have a fear of loosing you. So, only parents can not be blamed for everything. Look, believe it or not you are the root cause of the problem and you only have to solve it. And if you can not solve it, you should think twice about your decision. You have lived your whole life with your parents and agar tum unko nahi samjha sakte toh how can you live a happy life with a person who you know only for few month or a few years.

There is nothing wrong with the intercast marriage as long as you justify it. If you marry a lower cast person who is an IAS officer, I am sure not many will object to that marriage.

[vdeswal]

Dear Arun,

when it comes to traditions/customs and it's values (if one has any)it just doesn't matter if your an IAS /IPS. It's just the priority on subjects which one tends to set in his/her minds.But manier times whn you go out of ur customs generally it's an ersatz output.

[arunshamli]

Dear Arun,

when it comes to traditions/customs and it's values (if one has any)it just doesn't matter if your an IAS /IPS. It's just the priority on subjects which one tends to set in his/her minds.But manier times whn you go out of ur customs generally it's an ersatz output.


Dear Vijay,

I already have said, one must have a very good reason to marry outside one's class.

If the parents of both parties have no objection, I do not see any harm in intercast marriage.

[rajivshokeen]

"Ab meri kahani sun. My ma is going to beat the crap out of me if if I even mention anything alien to Jat traditions. hehehe. Ofcourse, its not happening. But you got my point. Dont make your dream palaces over the graves of your parents ambitions. Jo karna hai, ma-baap se salah karke." - Sumit Dahiya



Sumit , I believe you are right and I have same story to share with you. Well, my dad will give shoot at sight orders if I try to act smart.hahaha.

Rest Later.
Rajiv

[roopak]

"Ab meri kahani sun. My ma is going to beat the crap out of me if if I even mention anything alien to Jat traditions. hehehe. Ofcourse, its not happening. But you got my point. Dont make your dream palaces over the graves of your parents ambitions. Jo karna hai, ma-baap se salah karke." - Sumit Dahiya



Sumit , I believe you are right and I have same story to share with you. Well, my dad will give shoot at sight orders if I try to act smart.hahaha.

Rest Later.
Rajiv
well rajiv u have hit the nail on head buddy....if anybody is having an ideology it should be consistent..it shouldn't b mojboori ka naam mahatma gandhi

regards
rupender singh