WITH CARE:
TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on
the floor?
> > | CINDY: You told me to do it without using
tables!
> > |
----------------------------------------------------
> > | TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
> > | SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!!
> > | TEACHER: What are you talking about?
> > | SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
> > |
----------------------------------------------------
> > | TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North
America.
> > | GEORGE: Here it is!
> > | TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered
America?
> > | CLASS: George!
> > |
----------------------------------------------------
> > | TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have
today that we didn't
> > | have ten years ago.
> > | WILLY: Me!
> > |
----------------------------------------------------
> > | SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
> > | FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to
write?
> > | SYLVIA: Your sign. on this report card.
> > |
----------------------------------------------------
> > | TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by
biting insects?
> > | JOSE: Don't bite any.
> > |
----------------------------------------------------
> > | TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with
"I".
> > | ELLEN: I is...
> > | TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
> > | ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of
the alphabet."
> > |
----------------------------------------------------
> > | Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of
COINCIDENCE?"
> > | Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married
on the sameday
> > | sametime."
> > |
----------------------------------------------------
> > | Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped
down his father's Cherry
> > | tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you
know why his father
>didn't
> > | punish him?"
> > | Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in
his hand."
> > |
----------------------------------------------------
> > | Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
> > | Father : No. Why do you ask that?
> > | Son : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
> > |
----------------------------------------------------
> > | Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are
wearing, one is green
>and
> > | one is blue with red spots!
> > | Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I've got another
pair of the same at
> > | home.
> > |
----------------------------------------------------
> > | At a church school gathering, one little old
lady approached a cute
> > | 5-year-old girl and asked her where she got her
good looks. "I musta
>got
> > | 'em from my Daddy," said the little girl,
> > | "'cause Mommy's still got hers."
> > |
----------------------------------------------------
> > | Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a
donkey and stopped
>him,
> > | what virtue would I be showing?
> > | Student: Brotherly love.
> > |
----------------------------------------------------
> > | Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say
prayers before eating?
> > | Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good
cook.
> > |
----------------------------------------------------
> > | Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog"
is exactly the same as
> > | your brother's. Did u copy his?
> > | Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
> > |
----------------------------------------------------
> > | Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on
talking when people
>are
> > | no longer interested?
> > | Pupil : A teacher.
> > |
----------------------------------------------------
> > | Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a
cow is grazing in the
> > | field"
> > | Student : A cow and a bull are grazing in the
field
> > | Teacher : How ?
> > | Student : Ladies first