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Thread: You scared of losing face or what?!!

  1. #1

    You scared of losing face or what?!!

    Happened to read few enlightened opinions in some group here, regarding a recent thread. Sorry for intruding guys..

    It was unfortunate to see how people discuss/tear other people (and it was not in humor, let me clarify).

    Anyway, coming to the point, all this lead me thinking that is it a thread creator’s prerogative to close a particular thread? What about others who spent their time (even if in vain) on those threads?

    I would like to invite others’ opinions on this, how do you folks feel about it?

    IMO, if the creator has left nothing to say, he/she can put that forth clearly and can rest his/her case BUT why deprive others of their say.

    Closing a thread abruptly defeats the whole purpose. Why do you post something here if not ready to stand others’ perspectives/misunderstandings/conclusions (which is impossible to evade when a subject is thrown between myriad of individualities).

    Having said that, I feel I surely woke up on the wrong side of the bed today…..it seems..that I'm writing this here :D

    (P.S. Thanks (but no thanks) to this group for arousing my rumblings...:p)



    And yeah, very apt quote coming to my mind before I end ..
    "If you dont want to be criticized, say nothing, do nothing, be nothing"...
    Last edited by poonam; April 18th, 2009 at 12:20 AM.
    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    -Mark Twain

  2. #2
    And after ages of hanging around "here" you realized it today
    Keshav Dahiya
    www.dahiya.us



  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by keshavdahiya View Post
    And after ages of hanging around "here" you realized it today
    Datt jyaaa...M really curious to hear what people have to say...




    (I know I know what u meant though....losing my sanity I think...:D:D)
    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    -Mark Twain

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by poonam View Post
    Datt jyaaa...M really curious to hear what people have to say...




    (I know I know what u meant though....losing my sanity I think...:D:D)
    you aren't loosing you lucidity :P doc..its just people here dont have much to do but argue on rationales eventually turning to boat towards bermuda triangle
    Keshav Dahiya
    www.dahiya.us



  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by poonam View Post
    Anyway, coming to the point, all this lead me thinking that is it a thread creator’s prerogative to close a particular thread? What about others who spent their time (even if in vain) on those threads?

    ..
    Hi Poonam , i probably must have clarified my take on this a couple of times at le ast on this forum.

    I guess the author has no right to close the thread , in fact for that matter even the moderatots should not have that r ight !
    If things are going out of control , rather than locking that thread , ban those members fr om posting on thr ead who ar e creating nonsense!

    its stupid if i come and read 10 posts on that thread , tax my mind and then find it locked and I cant say anything ! :eek:

    Author can channelise the thread to a particular course and may be act as an anchor , may be also act as a summariser at times ..

    Hope that clarifies my take on the topic.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by anilsinghd View Post
    Hi Poonam , i probably must have clarified my take on this a couple of times at le ast on this forum.

    I guess the author has no right to close the thread , in fact for that matter even the moderatots should not have that r ight !
    If things are going out of control , rather than locking that thread , ban those members fr om posting on thr ead who ar e creating nonsense!

    its stupid if i come and read 10 posts on that thread , tax my mind and then find it locked and I cant say anything ! :eek:

    Author can channelise the thread to a particular course and may be act as an anchor , may be also act as a summariser at times ..

    Hope that clarifies my take on the topic.
    Point well taken !

    Agree with you more or less except the following:
    1. Moderators are fine with me if they close it seeing things going haywire..would leave to their discretion.
    2. Creator: may or may not summerise or channelise for whatever reasons, I wont crucify him for that as long as he is making his stand clear.


    But certainly bizarre to close any thread when its still in infancy (whatever parameter u wanna assume)..or anyone involved including the creator fancied so..
    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    -Mark Twain

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by poonam View Post
    Point well taken !

    Agree with you more or less except the following:
    1. Moderators are fine with me if they close it seeing things going haywire..would leave to their discretion.
    2. Creator: may or may not summerise or channelise for whatever reasons, I wont crucify him for that as long as he is making his stand clear.


    But certainly bizarre to close any thread when its still in infancy (whatever parameter u wanna assume)..
    Hey Poonam , well the standards should be same for all ... nothing against mods but sometimes its so irritating to see a thread closed for nothing.

    Its the same pain , is not it ?
    For stupidity of 2 ,3 why all should bear ? :eek:

    Yes , i appreciate lack of time constraints on part of creator to do that , i was talking about an ideal scenario.

    You might appreciate thatI make it a practice to duly summarise my threads after the discussion seems to have died down.

    Already done this for a few threads of mine!

    Infact that was a suggestion i gave to mods to encourage such a action!

  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by anilsinghd View Post
    You might appreciate thatI make it a practice to duly summarise my threads after the discussion seems to have died down.
    I do! Admire your persistence for the same!
    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    -Mark Twain

  9. #9
    I think the premise is that we are supposed to be nice all the time. That's very hard and also boring.

  10. #10
    Quote Originally Posted by sidchhikara View Post
    That's very hard and also boring.
    True..
    Gotta have a lil flexibility (here... for Gods sake) of being politically incorrect at times..
    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    -Mark Twain

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by sidchhikara View Post
    That's very hard and also boring.
    Tricky tricky !!


    It boring but then its hard , which implies it is challenging , anybody who loves challenges will find it exciting !

    So its not boring , right ?

  12. #12

    precisely..mate..

    hehe..yes it is..
    n a real pain in the rear
    Quote Originally Posted by sidchhikara View Post
    I think the premise is that we are supposed to be nice all the time. That's very hard and also boring.
    -There are no bad people in this world..they are either good or amusing.

    ...La Vida es Bella....

  13. #13

    We all wear masks....

    Doctor Sahiba,

    Namaskar,

    Understanding humans and their nature, characteristics, mannerisms and mind is perhaps the most intriguing puzzle that remains unsolved. I am not that educated ie I am not an expert in a given subject like you doctors, engineers, soft ware professionals and mathematicians are, however, circumstances and environment have been condusive to learn many things. Ability to listen and take criticism is an important quality. One should never bring in age, experience and qualification when one is debating issues. In forums like this it is natural for people to form small groups and try and browbeat those who do not agree with them.

    A person’s upbringing plays a very important part. Unhappy childhood, quarreling parents, split families, not being able to achieve what one aspired, inborn jealousy against siblings or peers, lack of food during growing years, being molested as a child, being a witness to unpleasant happenings and absence of social security are experiences that some people may have been through. The frustration often is displayed by certain mannerisms.

    Most of us wear a mask behind which we hide our true self. We try and hide our personality. We are not what we appear to be. Reminds me of a quote “Reputation is what people think you are. Personality is what you appear to be. Character is what you really are”. No wonder Swami Vivekananda asked us to build character; individual & national.

    Now Virtual medium is also a great stress buster. If my boss is mistreating me, what better way to let off steam than to put down others! I have been a member of JATLAND since 2003 or so. Not one issue gets discussed in totality. Most of the threads are hijacked and fall victim to people’s false egos. It is obvious that certain issues have been repeatedly discussed; dowry, inter-caste and same Gotra marriage, Fauj, Terrorism, Cricket, Corruption etc. Another popular discussion used to be “why are members leaving and where are old members?”.

    My personal view is that once a thread is posted, it should be deleted only after two or more moderators have discussed the matter, unless there is something that is outrageous. I believe once a thread creator has posted his views, the thread is public property. The thread starter should have no right to delete the thread. He can delete his subsequent views but not the first post or other member’s posts.

    And by the way, no one has been able to prove which side of the bed is the right side! So, don't worry. It is the perception that matters.

    Regards,

    JS Malik
    JAT BALWAN, JAI BHAGWAN

    (Ein Volk - Ein Reich - Ein Fuhrer)

  14. #14

    Thumbs up

    Enlightening !! ..

    Quote Originally Posted by jagmohan View Post
    Doctor Sahiba,

    Namaskar,

    Understanding humans and their nature, characteristics, mannerisms and mind is perhaps the most intriguing puzzle that remains unsolved. I am not that educated ie I am not an expert in a given subject like you doctors, engineers, soft ware professionals and mathematicians are, however, circumstances and environment have been condusive to learn many things. Ability to listen and take criticism is an important quality. One should never bring in age, experience and qualification when one is debating issues. In forums like this it is natural for people to form small groups and try and browbeat those who do not agree with them.

    A person’s upbringing plays a very important part. Unhappy childhood, quarreling parents, split families, not being able to achieve what one aspired, inborn jealousy against siblings or peers, lack of food during growing years, being molested as a child, being a witness to unpleasant happenings and absence of social security are experiences that some people may have been through. The frustration often is displayed by certain mannerisms.

    Most of us wear a mask behind which we hide our true self. We try and hide our personality. We are not what we appear to be. Reminds me of a quote “Reputation is what people think you are. Personality is what you appear to be. Character is what you really are”. No wonder Swami Vivekananda asked us to build character; individual & national.

    Now Virtual medium is also a great stress buster. If my boss is mistreating me, what better way to let off steam than to put down others! I have been a member of JATLAND since 2003 or so. Not one issue gets discussed in totality. Most of the threads are hijacked and fall victim to people’s false egos. It is obvious that certain issues have been repeatedly discussed; dowry, inter-caste and same Gotra marriage, Fauj, Terrorism, Cricket, Corruption etc. Another popular discussion used to be “why are members leaving and where are old members?”.

    My personal view is that once a thread is posted, it should be deleted only after two or more moderators have discussed the matter, unless there is something that is outrageous. I believe once a thread creator has posted his views, the thread is public property. The thread starter should have no right to delete the thread. He can delete his subsequent views but not the first post or other member’s posts.

    And by the way, no one has been able to prove which side of the bed is the right side! So, don't worry. It is the perception that matters.

    Regards,

    JS Malik
    .. " Until Lions have their historians, tales of the hunt shall always glorify the hunter! " ..



  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by jagmohan View Post
    My personal view is that once a thread is posted, it should be deleted only after two or more moderators have discussed the matter, unless there is something that is outrageous. I believe once a thread creator has posted his views, the thread is public property. The thread starter should have no right to delete the thread. He can delete his subsequent views but not the first post or other member’s posts.

    JS Malik
    Thanks Col. Malik for your, as always, phenomenal post.

    We are on the same page (and I guess most of us who posted here feel the same) as regard to your views I quoted above.

    @Anil...will definitely conclude this one..
    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    -Mark Twain

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by jagmohan View Post
    Understanding humans and their nature, characteristics, mannerisms and mind is perhaps the most intriguing puzzle that remains unsolved. I am not that educated ie I am not an expert in a given subject like you doctors, engineers, soft ware professionals and mathematicians are, however, circumstances and environment have been condusive to learn many things. Ability to listen and take criticism is an important quality. One should never bring in age, experience and qualification when one is debating issues. In forums like this it is natural for people to form small groups and try and browbeat those who do not agree with them.

    A person’s upbringing plays a very important part. Unhappy childhood, quarreling parents, split families, not being able to achieve what one aspired, inborn jealousy against siblings or peers, lack of food during growing years, being molested as a child, being a witness to unpleasant happenings and absence of social security are experiences that some people may have been through. The frustration often is displayed by certain mannerisms.

    Most of us wear a mask behind which we hide our true self. We try and hide our personality. We are not what we appear to be. Reminds me of a quote “Reputation is what people think you are. Personality is what you appear to be. Character is what you really are”. No wonder Swami Vivekananda asked us to build character; individual & national.


    Excellent but off topic ( at least to me ). For sure we are not discussing psychology behind people posting /replying /deleting threads.
    Or may be I did not get the topic , Poonam was this included in the topic ?


    Now Virtual medium is also a great stress buster. If my boss is mistreating me, what better way to let off steam than to put down others! I have been a member of JATLAND since 2003 or so. Not one issue gets discussed in totality. Most of the threads are hijacked and fall victim to people’s false egos. It is obvious that certain issues have been repeatedly discussed; dowry, inter-caste and same Gotra marriage, Fauj, Terrorism, Cricket, Corruption etc. Another popular discussion used to be “why are members leaving and where are old members?”.


    I have time and again suggested to Jatland as a community and admins that we need have more vigil , more moderator-like people who can channelise threads , take ideas out of them , and make t hem venture into reality , make sure things get concluded and implemented as well at times !
    But then who listens ?





    My personal view is that once a thread is posted, it should be deleted only after two or more moderators have discussed the matter, unless there is something that is outrageous. I believe once a thread creator has posted his views, the thread is public property. The thread starter should have no right to delete the thread. He can delete his subsequent views but not the first post or other member’s posts.

    On topic and agreed whole heartedly
    comments inline !

    Regards,
    Anil

  17. #17

    Regarding your query --off topic

    Quote Originally Posted by anilsinghd View Post
    comments inline !

    Regards,
    Anil
    Anil..nothing carved in stone..I wont mind digressing as long as it aint stupid or outrageous, rather I would appreciate it if its making sense (may not be directly on the topic...as Col Malik's post did).

    Pl pay heed to my very first post in this thread where I cleary stated that we are throwing a subject in a myriad of individualities, so a whole lot of variations is expected...Hope it helps!
    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    -Mark Twain

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by poonam View Post
    Anil..nothing carved in stone..I wont mind digressing as long as it aint stupid or outrageous, rather I would appreciate it if its making sense (may not be directly on the topic...as Col Malik's post did).

    Pl pay heed to my very first post in this thread where I cleary stated that we are throwing a subject in a myriad of individualities, so a whole lot of variations is expected...Hope it helps!
    Thanks Poonam for the revert!

    Well "What is outrageous ? " , Can anyone define it ?

    Leveraging from Col. Malik's post , human behaviour is a pretty complex thing , what might be outrageous for me might not be for you !


    I did not get the logic of discussing human behaviour when the question is as simple as "Should or should not the owner of the thread be allowed to cloase the thread , same question for moderators as well!"

    Frankly , do not know what exactly you want to discuss , perhaps you could have achieved the same with a simple poll !

    I am pretty sure you would not appreciate me starting each post of mine with a essay on human psychology and then in end saying a couple of lines about the subject matter ! :rolleyes:

  19. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by anilsinghd View Post
    Thanks Poonam for the revert!

    You are welcome!

    Well "What is outrageous ? " , Can anyone define it ?

    Something horrendously repugnant. You may debate again something repugnant for you might not be the same for me or vice-versa. Well anything glaringly 'bad in taste' is outrageous for me.

    Leveraging from Col. Malik's post , human behaviour is a pretty complex thing , what might be outrageous for me might not be for you !


    yep, right.

    I did not get the logic of discussing human behaviour when the question is as simple as "Should or should not the owner of the thread be allowed to cloase the thread , same question for moderators as well!"

    I see no harm, as long as its a pleasant read and you are gaining something from it.

    Frankly , do not know what exactly you want to discuss , perhaps you could have achieved the same with a simple poll !

    I stated very clearly in the very first post what I wanted.
    Poll..of course not! Bad idea !.. How will you reach to the the thought process behind every veiw point ..if you choose a poll.


    I am pretty sure you would not appreciate me starting each post of mine with a essay on human psychology and then in end saying a couple of lines about the subject matter ! :rolleyes:

    Hahahahah...thanks for cracking me up Anil. You are right I wont appreciate coz its gonna be a mathematical autopsy...:D No No just kidding. You are welcome to write whatever you wish to, yaar koi exam thodi hai ki you have to be on topic in all the questions...:o (though I appreciate succinct approach but I wont crucify someone who's letting his heart/mind out through this medium).

    Here you go, responses in purple in your post...
    "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."
    -Mark Twain

  20. #20
    bhai ke baat tu angrezi ebb hryanvi me likhan laag gya.hehe....eb manne thaari baat samjhan ke chakkar me spellinga p itna dhyan laa diya.baat te ebb bhi samjh nahi aayi....:rolleyes:
    Quote Originally Posted by anilsinghd View Post
    Thanks Poonam for the revert!

    Well "What is outrageous ? " , Can anyone define it ?

    Leveraging from Col. Malik's post , human behaviour is a pretty complex thing , what might be outrageous for me might not be for you !


    I did not get the logic of discussing human behaviour when the question is as simple as "Should or should not the owner of the thread be allowed to cloase the thread , same question for moderators as well!"

    Frankly , do not know what exactly you want to discuss , perhaps you could have achieved the same with a simple poll !

    I am pretty sure you would not appreciate me starting each post of mine with a essay on human psychology and then in end saying a couple of lines about the subject matter ! :rolleyes:
    " If the loser keeps his smile........
    Then the winner will loose the thrill of the victory.......
    Attitude make the difference......"

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