what about intercaste marriage?

[prashantacmet]

As time has changed & the present environment is totally different now. Intercaste marriages are so common . I need to know the opinion of ONLINE jats about intercase marriage. It is a fact that JATs are deeply rooted to their customs & traditions. but the circumstances can change the thinking...........
I am really excited to get know the opinion of the JATs about this. Please
tell your views about intercaste marriage.


Prashant chaudhary
_--------------------
JAI BHAGWAN JAT BALWAN

[devdahiya]

It is a free world dear. Boundaries have shrunk and distances narrowed. No harm in going intercast if you don't find a deserving match within Jat community. Love knows no boundaries.Still prefer your own people.

[arundagar]

While we all must have an open outlook but when it comes to certain fundamentals we shall strongly believe in them. It keeps us to our roots and good for our community too. I am a firm believer of intra-caste marriage and don’t want to change it (Love or arranged immaterial). I don’t know why young boys (well educated) are more charmed with other communities specially Punjabis. Do they want to forget something?

At this point of time many will start counting the –ves of our community and may want to respond but I call it a complex. One surely finds a compatible match in our community too. Let’s help the community to grow, surely, have the best match for you.

There are many social reasons too – like compatibility with family & relatives as long as one is not planning to lead an independent life like the one that Punjabis prefer.

[mukeshkumar007]

I can't marry with a non-jat girl at any cost.

[prashantacmet]

It is a free world dear. Boundaries have shrunk and distances narrowed. No harm in going intercast if you don't find a deserving match within Jat community. Love knows no boundaries.Still prefer your own people.


dahiya JI, Please don't mind it. Per aapse yeh umeed nahi thi. :confused:


If i move for an intercaste marriage. I think my children will not be eligible to be a member of JATLAND.COM :o

What do u say about it?............

[manjitboora]

intercast marriage is not a big thing today, but still something that really stop us sometimes i.e. our parents bcoz we do not see them "dukhi"

[devdahiya]

dahiya JI, Please don't mind it. Per aapse yeh umeed nahi thi. :confused:


If i move for an intercaste marriage. I think my children will not be eligible to be a member of JATLAND.COM :o

What do u say about it?............




Then tell me what do you want to hear from me dear? Fact of the matter is that in future it will be children and not the parents who will decide these things and for sure trend is changing. If you ask my own view for myself then Yes i will always go the way jats go. By the way if you read my reply i have said that prefer your own people. In my family no one has ever even thought of going out of cast but Jats are going out of cast and we can not behave like Talibans with them. So dear Don't doubt my Jatness but when you comment you have to see the ground reality also. We must respect the sentiments of all.....including those who wish to go out of cast as this world is a free world.



Ha...ha..ha. Jatland.com is no consideration for people while taking major decissions of life.World will not come to an end if you can't be the member of jatland.com. Is it such a big thing that people can't live without. Cheers dear!

[jagmohan]

This subject is an all time favorite.

Fortunately there are no clear answers to this debate as each individual has his perceptions and sensibilities. The most important reality of life is that we need our near and dear ones, who can share your own language, culture and jokes to be around us, for whatever reasons. Whether we accept this fact or not, it is true that as one grows in age we like to create the same environment in which we grew up. And to create this environment it is necessary to marry someone who can help do that. And the logical answer is that it would be easier to do so with someone who is from our own community. I am not saying that inter caste marriages don't succeed, some do.

And one important point should never be forgotten: we owe some responsibilities towards our parents who sacrificed a lot for us. Even their sensibilities should be respected.

And on a lighter note: Agar ladkiyon ko paida hone se pahle he maarte rahe to Bhai, intercaste marriages hee karni padain gi. kyon ki JATNI te paavein e na, pher ke karoge....naam O nishan mit jayega hamara....

Jaag jao, sudhar jaoo, ab bhi waqt hai...

Regards,

JS Malik

[positivelook]

Well said Dev sir and i m fully agree with ur answer. World is changing so jats have to mould themselves too and getting married to a non-jat gal is totally a individual decision. So Take it easy guys Jamana badal raha hai so samay ke saath jo nahi chalega woh chal hee nahin sakega.

Abhi

[prashantacmet]

Well said Dev sir and i m fully agree with ur answer. World is changing so jats have to mould themselves too and getting married to a non-jat gal is totally a individual decision. So Take it easy guys Jamana badal raha hai so samay ke saath jo nahi chalega woh chal hee nahin sakega.

Abhi

Abhimanu Bhai, kya apne bhi intercaste marriae ki hai , jo itna favour ker rahe ho.:cool:

Please take it easy. Just kidding....................:)

[lucky]

sabh dil ki baat hai phir ghurwalo ki baat hai..........
hum tu agar pyar kurlai per wo manai gai.......:rolleyes:

BAKI INTERCASTE MARRIGES 99.9% LOVE MARRIGES HOTI HAI .

donot u think insan acha hona chahia naki oski caste matter kurni chahia.:rolleyes:

[misha0119]

I also feel the same but our elders have to make the final decision.

[bschhikara]

Intercaste....... na baba na.
sari umar adjust karne main hi gujar jayegi.... kabhi ghar walo ke saath.. kabhi uske saath.. kabhi culture ka takrao... kabhi kuchh ... kabhi kuchh.
Maine do shayadiya dekhi hai.... Jat bhai ne baniya ke saath shaadi ki.... dono hi dukhi hai. Unihi ke experience se likh raha hoon.
kuchh galib ne bhi kaha hai na...
char din maang ke laye the umre draj.... do arzoo main kat gaye do intzaar main.
Ab agar shaadi time apni comminity main ho jaye to do din intzaar wale to bina intzaar ke katege........ nahin to unme se ek din to adjustment main chala jayega... to bus ek hi din jee payenge.
aur fir apni community main rahne ka maja hi kuchh aur hai. This also maintain purity of gene. Afterall gene are responsible for body figure, health.... controlling all major functions of body.
Fir bhi agar kisi bhai ko apni community main suitable match nahin milta to ja sakta..... ek advice ke saath..... atleast achhe and compatible genes hi doondna.

[anjeeladahiya]

intercast marriage ke faayde kam hai nuksan jyada hai.
doosri baat intercast marriage jat community mein khub ho rahi hai. pta nahi kya baat hai. punjabi aur baniya ke ladke punjaban ya baniyani hi bhayake laate hai.

lekin mera najazariya too yahi hai ki agar apni community mein hi shaadi hoo to jyada better hai.agar education aur family background sab acha hai too apni jat biradiri hi achi hai.

baaki luck aur sanjog ki baat hai.
kuch galat leekh diya ho to maaf karna:o

cheers

[mbamal]

I can't marry with a non-jat girl at any cost.

Wah..wah....Taliyan Taliyan !!.. We need people like you Mukesh who could be totally upfront and candid about their romantic dispositions :-)

[sunildabas]

dahiya JI, Please don't mind it. Per aapse yeh umeed nahi thi. :confused:


If i move for an intercaste marriage. I think my children will not be eligible to be a member of JATLAND.COM :o

What do u say about it?............

Pehli baat to prashant bhai aap ne thoda sa confuse kar diya, aap ladke hai ya ladki. kyoki jaisa naam se lage raha ki aap ladke hai to shaadi ke baad aapka gotra or caste change hoga ya ladki kya.
hansi aan lag rahi hi, bayh(shaadi) pacche tere balke jaat nahi rahynge, kassota patni-bhagat deeke hai bhai.
doosra as dev dahiya has said is jatland.com end of the world. what an extreme thinking of urs.
aaj kal koi farakh nahi padtha agar shaadi intercaste ho kyonki it does not make much difference if all are educated and it is the time of nuclear famlies not joint famlies, ask parents and mostly will say ke baache khush rahne chaiye so if u like intercaste marriage no problems in going ahead with it.
using sig. of cool jat rock on

[prashantacmet]

Pehli baat to prashant bhai aap ne thoda sa confuse kar diya, aap ladke hai ya ladki. kyoki jaisa naam se lage raha ki aap ladke hai to shaadi ke baad aapka gotra or caste change hoga ya ladki kya.
hansi aan lag rahi hi, bayh(shaadi) pacche tere balke jaat nahi rahynge, kassota patni-bhagat deeke hai bhai.
doosra as dev dahiya has said is jatland.com end of the world. what an extreme thinking of urs.
aaj kal koi farakh nahi padtha agar shaadi intercaste ho kyonki it does not make much difference if all are educated and it is the time of nuclear famlies not joint famlies, ask parents and mostly will say ke baache khush rahne chaiye so if u like intercaste marriage no problems in going ahead with it.
using sig. of cool jat rock on

sahi kaha sunil bhai. aapne to tod ki baat kah di katai.. jaha tak confusion ka sawal hai.To wo to jib aap jiase mahaan log maare jaise soch wale se milonge tabhi door hogi. aur rahi patni bhagat wali baat to patni bhagat wali
baat to intercaste waalo pe jyada sahi baiten hai ki ek chhori ki liye sab kuch chodan ne tyaar reh sai. sunil bhai aise log apni biradri to kya apne maa -baap -bhai ne bhi chodan ne tyaar reh sai.
aur bhai mein to nu kahu huin ki ya intercaste kar se SANKAR(Hybrid) mat paida karo nahi to BANIYA bhi maare thopde pe maaran laag jange.


aur sunil bhai, for your kind information i want to tell you that if u go for an intercaste marriage then your children prefer which gotra(mother or father)
that will be their individual decision, because u are living in Nuclear family................. theek hai na sunil bhai..

[jagmohan]

It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered?

Sagaai hui... Shadi Hui... Biwi ghar main aayi... ghar SWARG ban gaya... aur
main...SWARGWASI...

They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is
love; after marriage it is self-defense

A person who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE..
A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.!

Mashooka: Lagta hai meri aankh mein kuch gir gaya, dekho to
Mashook: ek tinka dikh to raha hai, kyon na usey wahin rahne diya jaye, main
doobonga to sahara dega

[rkumar]

It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered?

Sagaai hui... Shadi Hui... Biwi ghar main aayi... ghar SWARG ban gaya... aur
main...SWARGWASI...

They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is
love; after marriage it is self-defense

A person who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE..
A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.!

Mashooka: Lagta hai meri aankh mein kuch gir gaya, dekho to
Mashook: ek tinka dikh to raha hai, kyon na usey wahin rahne diya jaye, main
doobonga to sahara dega

hahahahha...Bahut khoob Malik Sahab.... ek dam mast.....

RK^2

[meghs]

.

donot u think insan acha hona chahia naki oski caste matter kurni chahia.:rolleyes:[/quote]

I think she is right wat matters is that the person shld b right . Caste doesn't matters but yes i believe we shldn't do it at the cost of our parents hapiness. Otherwise their is no harm in intercaste marriage .

I think what is more important is too remove other social evils like dowry, because v cant deny the fact that in love marriages dowry is not expected, as ppl expect it in arrange marriages.

kaha jata hai bado ke saath argue nahi karna chaiye so if i had write anything wrong i apologise it in advance.

regards
Megha

[choudharysaaab]

hahahaha....ye to batao ki byav chahe jaise bhi ho ye dowry kon mangta/mangti he byav me?:D
ummmm...ye "ladies" hi demand karti he sabse pahale aur, aur fir byav hota he, fir wo ladaki jisne dowry di he wo jab badi hoke uske bachcho ka byav karegi tab wo hi mangegi ki lao bhai kitna doge ;) , to bhai ye dowry khatam karne ka funda to ladies logo ko bhi pata hoga hamko to nahi malum :p, wo khud sudhar jaye to ye jhanjhat hi khatam ho jaye society se, fir na ladakiya aisi query karengi aur na me aise jawab doonga :rolleyes:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

.

donot u think insan acha hona chahia naki oski caste matter kurni chahia.:rolleyes:

I think she is right wat matters is that the person shld b right . Caste doesn't matters but yes i believe we shldn't do it at the cost of our parents hapiness. Otherwise their is no harm in intercaste marriage .

I think what is more important is too remove other social evils like dowry, because v cant deny the fact that in love marriages dowry is not expected, as ppl expect it in arrange marriages.

kaha jata hai bado ke saath argue nahi karna chaiye so if i had write anything wrong i apologise it in advance.

regards
Megha[/QUOTE]

[fool4love]

I think everyone here is cool about intercast marriage..... n ofcourse, with some exceptions!
What about a girl/guy from different religion? few ppl said above 'love has no boundaries'... so lets see wht jat ppl have to say about this boundary!

I totally am in favour of it.. as long as my folks r happy! ..but.. on the second thought, it takes pretty big sacrifices.. as compared to intercast... like.. whoz gonna convert to whose religion? wht religion kids will follow.. n so on!

wht r ur views....?

[crsnadar]

Dear All,
Namate,
I have observed so many intercaste marriages in JATs.
some examples are with Pundits, Rajputs & Punjabis.
But I have never seen any Jat-Muslim intercaste marriage.
May be there be some.
I want to know some examples as I hate this combination most so expecting much less.
Among Hindu Caste it's OK & moreover it is an individual matter.

Dear members my parents are agree to marry me anybody I love despite of her caste. But kya karen I didn't ever get time to find my LOVE & not expected even.
So, according to me the word LOVE is being glamourised by the movies of now a days & people forgot it's real meaning
So, better to look forward for the career & leave this matter to our parents.
At last humse bhi hamari pasand puchhi hi jayegi. hahaha
Bye
RAHUL NADAR

[raj_rathee]

As time has changed & the present environment is totally different now. Intercaste marriages are so common . I need to know the opinion of ONLINE jats about intercase marriage. It is a fact that JATs are deeply rooted to their customs & traditions. but the circumstances can change the thinking...........
I am really excited to get know the opinion of the JATs about this. Please
tell your views about intercaste marriage.


Prashant chaudhary
_--------------------
JAI BHAGWAN JAT BALWAN

If da wooomaan can walk like a jatni, talk like a jatni, work like a Jatni
and smack like a Jatni (;)) I don't give a damn what caste she comes
from. :eek: She'll be just fuuuuhhhineeeeee.

[devdahiya]

If da wooomaan can walk like a jatni, talk like a jatni, work like a Jatni
and smack like a Jatni (;)) I don't give a damn what caste she comes
from. :eek: She'll be just fuuuuhhhineeeeee.




Katya rogg. Ha...ha...ha wa bhai chhore.....!

[positivelook]

Bhai Prashant

Aisa hai Dev sir ko favour isliye kiya tha akk mere vichar unse milte the iss point par. Rahi baat meri toh bhai issa hai Apnee toh katee pakee Padhee-likhi Jatni hai toh isse bhee koi baat konya. Baaki Vichar prakat karne mein harj koi tha nahi so bata diya.

Abhi

[jitendershooda]

As far as love is concerned bhai wo nu kahya karen apni desi mein ....

JEE AAVE TE GAADHI PE AAJYA

te bhai jeee aae pache te ke Jatni er ke punjaban, Logan ne use mein Dream Girl dikhe hai Dharmendar ki dhalan. Baat phashe aud aadmi ki na hai phasha aud te bhai jib jee aage jo majboor ho e gaya te kare le te aacha se na te ghar ke jit gadenge hude bhi romta e rahega. Er ek aur jidagi ka naas karega.

As far as SHOULD is concerned, if possible we should avoid intercaste. In todays scenerio intercaste marriage among upper/middle-upper/educated jats are going more common. But i feel that if an educated Jat/Jatni look for some other JAt guy/gal then it would help two jat families to grow and it is indirect growth of community too.

Ek bhai ne kahi ek Gotra te baap ka e lagega par bhai adhbichale ka kaam ho jaya hai er pher gyan se aali baat te lagti nahi. Isa balak te mada goond-choorma khate e te nu kahega POPS HEAVY HOGYA. :)

Kaeyan te baat hon te nu kahege bhai aapne mein koe itni padhi likhi e na milti ...Maka re thodi kam mile hai wa lele padha liye thodi si kime punya ka kaam bhi ho jyaga.


If da wooomaan can walk like a jatni, talk like a jatni, work like a Jatni
and smack like a Jatni (;)) .

Ha ha well said Rathee bhai.

[pragati]

what i am going to write is my personal thinking......
it is true ki aajkal intercast marriages kafi ho rahi hai, but i think, marriage in our own cast is best bcoz apni cast me culture, family values, reete-riwaz kafi match karte hai aur marriage ke baad adjustment kafi easy hota hai,which is very neccasary to live a happy life.....aur fir after all, JAT IS THE BEST, jat se accha to koi ho hi nahi sakta.....:o

[sejwaldeepak]

Bhai Prashant ,


Really very good topic to share your views.. I admire views from all the members,,

JAT are great, we have to marry in JATs, No other caste is better then JATs, Intercaste marriage not always sucessful, many things i found in this thread.

But dear i don't think it is in our hand even sometimes we don't want to marry with intercaste girl/boy but some situations occurs and we have to put our leg in that.

I think it is all about a """beautiful happening thing in this world "" and that is called ""LOVE"".

We don't know when we fall in love and when it happens with us. We meets someone and lost all our sense . ""We try to talk that person maximum"" ,"" want to meet all time"", ""don't want to far away from that person "", ""all time try to prove that he/she is everything for our life"". Never ends such kind of things happens between lovers.

And that is the reason when we lost our identity , our existense , our caste , our family background, every thing related to a particular person will be lost due to this word "" LOVE". Because lovers are beyond this earth they are far away this kind of foolish things which always happens on this earth. And thats the reason when we marriage with some intercaste girl/boy .

Sometimes it (Intercaste Marriage) happens due to some bad reasons i don't want to highlight here.

I am giving some beautyful words for "someone special in your life" go through all the post.........

You are Everything To Somebody
Right now at this very minute-----------

someone
is very proud of you

someone
is thinking of you

someone
cares about you

someone
misses you

someone
wants to talk to you

someone
wants to be with you

someone
hopes you aren't in trouble

someone
is thankful for the support you have provided

someone
wants to hold your hand

someone
hopes everything turns out all right

someone
wants you to be happy

someone
wants you to find them

someone
is celebrating your successes

someone
wants to give you a gift

someone
think you ARE a gift

someone
hopes you are not too cold, or too hot

someone
wants to hug you

someone
loves you

someone
wants to lavish you with small gifts

someone
admires your strength

someone
is thinking of you and smiling

someone
wants to be your shoulder to cry on

someone
wants to go out with you and have a lot of fun

someone
thinks the world of you

someone
wants to protect you

someone
would do anything for you

someone
wants to be forgiven

someone
is grateful for your forgiveness

someone
wants to laugh with you about old times

someone
remembers you and wishes you were there

someone
needs to know that your love is unconditional
somebody
values your advice

someone
wants to tell you how much they care

someone
wants to stay up watching old movies with you
someone
wants to share their dreams with you

someone
wants to hold you in their arms

someone
wants YOU to hold them in your arms

someone
treasures your spirit

someone
wishes they could STOP time because of you

someone
can't wait to see you

someone
wishes that things didn't have to change

someone
loves you for who you are

someone
loves the way you make them feel

someone
wants to be with you

someone
hears a song that reminds them of you

someone
wants you to know they are there for you

someone
is glad that you're their friend

someone
wants to be your friend

someone
stayed up all night thinking about you

someone
is alive because of you

someone
is wishing that you would notice them

someone
wants to get to know you better

someone
believes that you are their soul mate

someone
wants to be near you

someone
misses your guidance and advice

someone
values your guidance and advice

someone
has faith in you

someone
trusts you

someone
needs you to send them this letter

someone
needs your support

someone
needs you to have faith in them

someone
needs you to let them be your friend

someone
will cry when they read this


"Do whatever you heart says, but make sure it is not hurting anyone who loves you"

[jatsrule]

Sejwal bhai aapne to mail hi copy paste kar di
khair koi baat nahi
achi hai
keep it up

[deepakchoudhry]

Intercaste marriage can only happen in case of love marraiges and if that is the case then some of the views expressed are not valid..because one has "chosen" the person they want to be with for rest of their lives.

Also I thought marriage depended on the 2 individuals who are in the relationship and How strong their commitment is to each other......not depended on what caste they belong to.

What is the primary criteria when looking for a life partner A good human being or the label he or she carries.

Yes similar background helps but there is no gaurantee whatsoever if the relationship will work.

And talking about Extra Pressure !!! I tell you even similar caste marriages have extra pressure from outside. Ask any married person on this forum :)
So no escaping there !!!

All type marriages are hard work!!

Intercaste marriages are good esp for our country...The more communties come close to each other the better we will all be.

Most of freinds have married intercaste (north / south etc) and they are very happy ... as their choice was based on mental compatibity then caste.

I'm not against same caste or for Intercaste marriages..end of the day it is a matter of personal choice.

[c.p.chhikara]

:mad: :confused: :eek:
Friends, Intercast marriage karne wale baad main aise dikhte hai. Its my personal opinion.

[anil_rathee]

Bhai Prashant ,


Really very good topic to share your views.. I admire views from all the members,,

JAT are great, we have to marry in JATs, No other caste is better then JATs, Intercaste marriage not always sucessful, many things i found in this thread.

But dear i don't think it is in our hand even sometimes we don't want to marry with intercaste girl/boy but some situations occurs and we have to put our leg in that.

I think it is all about a """beautiful happening thing in this world "" and that is called ""LOVE"".

We don't know when we fall in love and when it happens with us. We meets someone and lost all our sense . ""We try to talk that person maximum"" ,"" want to meet all time"", ""don't want to far away from that person "", ""all time try to prove that he/she is everything for our life"". Never ends such kind of things happens between lovers.

And that is the reason when we lost our identity , our existense , our caste , our family background, every thing related to a particular person will be lost due to this word "" LOVE". Because lovers are beyond this earth they are far away this kind of foolish things which always happens on this earth. And thats the reason when we marriage with some intercaste girl/boy .

Sometimes it (Intercaste Marriage) happens due to some bad reasons i don't want to highlight here.

I am giving some beautyful words for "someone special in your life" go through all the post.........

You are Everything To Somebody
Right now at this very minute-----------

someone
is very proud of you

someone
is thinking of you

someone
cares about you

someone
misses you

someone
wants to talk to you

someone
wants to be with you

someone
hopes you aren't in trouble

someone
is thankful for the support you have provided

someone
wants to hold your hand

someone
hopes everything turns out all right

someone
wants you to be happy

someone
wants you to find them

someone
is celebrating your successes

someone
wants to give you a gift

someone
think you ARE a gift

someone
hopes you are not too cold, or too hot

someone
wants to hug you

someone
loves you

someone
wants to lavish you with small gifts

someone
admires your strength

someone
is thinking of you and smiling

someone
wants to be your shoulder to cry on

someone
wants to go out with you and have a lot of fun

someone
thinks the world of you

someone
wants to protect you

someone
would do anything for you

someone
wants to be forgiven

someone
is grateful for your forgiveness

someone
wants to laugh with you about old times

someone
remembers you and wishes you were there

someone
needs to know that your love is unconditional
somebody
values your advice

someone
wants to tell you how much they care

someone
wants to stay up watching old movies with you
someone
wants to share their dreams with you

someone
wants to hold you in their arms

someone
wants YOU to hold them in your arms

someone
treasures your spirit

someone
wishes they could STOP time because of you

someone
can't wait to see you

someone
wishes that things didn't have to change

someone
loves you for who you are

someone
loves the way you make them feel

someone
wants to be with you

someone
hears a song that reminds them of you

someone
wants you to know they are there for you

someone
is glad that you're their friend

someone
wants to be your friend

someone
stayed up all night thinking about you

someone
is alive because of you

someone
is wishing that you would notice them

someone
wants to get to know you better

someone
believes that you are their soul mate

someone
wants to be near you

someone
misses your guidance and advice

someone
values your guidance and advice

someone
has faith in you

someone
trusts you

someone
needs you to send them this letter

someone
needs your support

someone
needs you to have faith in them

someone
needs you to let them be your friend

someone
will cry when they read this


"Do whatever you heart says, but make sure it is not hurting anyone who loves you"



Deepak bhai

u r right to some extent or i will say u r pefect in some way

love makes the difference in life - but question is that - "IS IT REALLY LOVE"

most of the times it is not. thats why most of the intercast are not successful. The word love is over glamourised. The INdian movies, specially KARAN JOHAR, YASH PRODUCTION, SHAHRUKH KHAN - are making money by misguiding our youths.

The fun of college life is not LOVE aactually.
Its a very rare thing which everybody can not even understand but aajkal ke students kisi bhi attraction ko love samajh lete hain........

It comes in very different way in life.

And if it REALLY LOVE then their should not be any boundaries of CAST>RELIGION>CULTURE>NATION , nothing matters except the sentiments of your parents.

OUR PARENTS SHOULD BE THE FINAL DECISION MAKERS.
We should always respect their decision even if we have to sacrifice our love for them. Doesnt matter.

If ur parents permitts u (by heart not compiled by situation arised) then u shuld not think twice for anything else - may be cast or anything.


but we shuld first of all understand is truly love or something different.

AUR bhai sabse achi baat hai hindi movies kam se kam dekho , agar dekhani bhai hai to to koi social, thriller, action or somethig diferent like RAM GOPAL VERMA's, Prakash JhA's - to intercast ke chakkar mein padane ke chances kam hi honge

aur kisis tarah ki koi controversy hi nahi hogi

ALL THE BEST TO ALL

ENJOY LIFE

[ravinderdahiya]

pehlay to bhai, ek dum theek baat kahi k love ko bahut jyada hype bana diya aur attraction ko love k saath confuse kar diya gaya hai.
jab koi bhi 20-25 saal ki parvarish k baad bhi apnay maa baap arr parivar se love nahi kar paaya to mere ko samaj nahi aata wo kisi aur se kaise love kar sakta hai
main to kehta hun ki jab love karna hi hai to apni community se bhi love karo
arr bhai doosri baat, Mannay Jat land k history section mein hi padhya hai akk jat is not a cast but it is a race. aur bhai hamay apni race ko preserve karnay k liye zyada se zyada try karni chahiye

aur bhai pehlay ladkiyo ko khud ladkay choose karnay ki azadi thi jisay hum swyamvar boltay they aur swayamvar ki bhi condition thi ki agar ladki 1 Ved ki vidushi hai to ladka bhi kam se kam ek Ved ka vidwan ho(matlab compatiblity ka poora dhyan rakhya jaya karta)
parantu aaj kaj aani education enlightenment k liye kom aur job k liye jyada ho rahi hai isi liye ye baatein maa-baap k experience pe chod di jaani chahiye.

[netrapalsingh]

pehlay to bhai, ek dum theek baat kahi k love ko bahut jyada hype bana diya aur attraction ko love k saath confuse kar diya gaya hai.
jab koi bhi 20-25 saal ki parvarish k baad bhi apnay maa baap arr parivar se love nahi kar paaya to mere ko samaj nahi aata wo kisi aur se kaise love kar sakta hai
main to kehta hun ki jab love karna hi hai to apni community se bhi love karo
arr bhai doosri baat, Mannay Jat land k history section mein hi padhya hai akk jat is not a cast but it is a race. aur bhai hamay apni race ko preserve karnay k liye zyada se zyada try karni chahiye

aur bhai pehlay ladkiyo ko khud ladkay choose karnay ki azadi thi jisay hum swyamvar boltay they aur swayamvar ki bhi condition thi ki agar ladki 1 Ved ki vidushi hai to ladka bhi kam se kam ek Ved ka vidwan ho(matlab compatiblity ka poora dhyan rakhya jaya karta)
parantu aaj kaj aani education enlightenment k liye kom aur job k liye jyada ho rahi hai isi liye ye baatein maa-baap k experience pe chod di jaani chahiye.

bhai ravinder dil jeet liya bhai, par ek bat mere bhee se, j ladkiyo ke sankya
aise hee kam hotee rahi or tane jat kanya n mili to too koovara rah jaga ke?
jat history ootha k dekh kitne jato ne kitne other cast me shadi kee hai
or yahi hal raha to age bhee karenge.........love mahan agar sacha ho to
shadi nibhane se nibhti hai kya arrange marriage nahi toot ti kya dhahej
ke karano lakho kanya ko usi kee cast wale nahee marte. ye theek hai
apne samaj me sanyog karne se sanskar apne samaj ke hee milte hai
par jaise arrnge marrige toot ti dekhi hai waise lover marriage bhee kamyab
hote dekhi hai maine.....

netra.......

[ravinderdahiya]

Bhai Netra Pal,
Teri baat ekdum sahi sai, agar Female feticide na rokaya gaya to wakai me halat buray honay walay hain, arr aur bhi condition ho sakti hain shayad inter cast marriage k liye
lekin mere kehnay ka matlab ye hai k ek to fashion mein Intercast marriage nahi karni chahiye matlab kaye log sirf apnay aap ko mod batanay k liye bhi intercast marriage jaise cheezo ko hadh se jyada support kartay hain
arr doosra aapka desh, aapki community arr aapka religion aap k liye priority pe hona chahaye.

arr bhai dowary tai main reason sai female feticide ka, ye to bilkul galat sai.

[priti]

the age old discussion :)

if you find the love of your life, marry....if you cant leave it upto your parents....simple!

[rajeshrathee]

the age old discussion :)

if you find the love of your life, marry....if you cant leave it upto your parents....simple!

THATS PERFECT ANSWER

[yudhvirmor]

THATS PERFECT ANSWER


Its true that its a personal choice and opinion.
I would prefer maarige in our caste.

Simple saa funda hai, Balak kal ko school main teh pitt ka ghar naa avan.

Hum toh school main sidhi Takhti maara karte arr wah bhi Seer main. i want my kids to be fighter in all spheres of life and i think its in our blood and i dont change the composition. HeHeHeHe:D :D

Baniya main bya ho gya toh balak jamma ghata main rah jange:D :D

Cheers
Yudhvir Mor

[dndeswal]

.

http://www.tribuneindia.com/2006/20061227/haryana.htm#14 (http://www.tribuneindia.com/2006/20061227/haryana.htm#14)



They tied the knot but got knotted in legal battle
Advocate couple seeks protection
Saurabh Malik
Tribune News Service


Chandigarh, December 26
They grew on each other while studying together in Kurukshetra University. After spending six years in each other’s company, they decided to tie the knot. But objection to inter-caste marriage led to the refusal from the girl’s parents, even though the two were practising together in the Punjab and Haryana High Court as advocates.

After tying the knot in November against the wishes of the bride’s parents, the two are now fighting a battle for justice. The couple has moved the high court for “protection of life and liberty”.

Taking up the petition of lawyers Aarti Sharma and Rajneesh Singla, Mr Justice Satish Kumar Mittal of the high court has asked Deputy Superintendent of Police concerned to take appropriate action in accordance with the law in case the petitioners forward an application seeking protection.

In their petition the two had earlier sought directions to the Senior Superintendent of Police and two other respondents for safeguarding their lives and for protection from false implication in a criminal case. Directions to the girl’s father against interference in the peaceful married life of the petitioners were also sought.

The two had asserted that the bride’s parents went up to the extent of misbehaving with the groom’s family after they came to know about the marriage. They even threatened the family with dire consequences. Expressing apprehensions about their safety, the couple asserted that they were asked to stay away from the city by the groom’s parents. The two added the possibility of their false implication or even elimination upon returning home.
.

[amitchhikara]

the age old discussion :)

if you find the love of your life, marry....if you cant leave it upto your parents....simple!


I think we have the winner right here..........

[desijat]

jab koi bhi 20-25 saal ki parvarish k baad bhi apnay maa baap arr parivar se love nahi kar paaya to mere ko samaj nahi aata wo kisi aur se kaise love kar sakta hai.

Hats off to this thaught

[ssgoyat]

Well
pehle mein bhi intercaste marriage ke paksh me tha:confused: ......ghani koshish kari par kise gel wa baat na dikkhi.....

doosara ....jad te ya jatland join kari se tab se me bhi pakka usool wala JAAT ban gaya hoon.....

ar byah karange to jaatni gel .:) ......chahe kitne saal kyu na randa rehna pade:p

ar waise bhi apne itne sare jatlander se ade....koe na koi jaatni to toh hi denge mere khattar:D


kyonki JAI BHAGWAAN ...JAT BALWAAN

[nirajsihag]

Intercaste Marrige is all about destroying our jean pool.However, Its matter of personal choice and you can't force anyone to marry someone in your own caste.

[amritamalik]

[quote=anjeeladahiya;70392]intercast marriage ke faayde kam hai nuksan jyada hai.
doosri baat intercast marriage jat community mein khub ho rahi hai. pta nahi kya baat hai. punjabi aur baniya ke ladke punjaban ya baniyani hi bhayake laate hai.



Hi everybody,
It’s true that a number of educated persons are preferring inter-cast marriage. Sometimes, its love and some times people (so called modern boys/girls) think that the jats (we) are not up to the standards, they are looking for. I am not against the inter-cast marriage. But I am in a strong favor of intra-cast marriage (love or arranged). I think one can do best in own culture and when we move in life/world, our culture is also nourished with time.

[bls31]

It is sad but happeningn,both in India and abroad,strange Jat boys,abroad, come to Indai, only when they decide to marry, possibly at an advanced age, now desprate,and land up in an inter-cast arranged marriage, Indian girls who go abroad get married to foreigners,not only inter-cast but inter-race and inter-religion, they are at premimum with the foreigners, as indian girls,for that matter Indian girls of any cast and any religion ,make good wives,or should I say good house-wives,they earn good money in the high-end jobs,look after the house and husband also cook good food. As a bonus Indian parents are quiet prepared to go, more or less on call, there and do parenting /baby-sitting. Time have also changed and parents have little say in the matter and accept the decision of the children with good grace.
Brig lakshman

[ssgoyat]

Dear Jatlanders ..

I would like to add one more fact here that......


bhai baat aisi hai ak...hum to intercaste marrige karan ki soch bhi lyaan , par most of the times saamne wale hi jaat ke naam se naat jaate hain.......

ki ni ji jaat gel apni chhori ne nya byavah.....

ar ya baat kati solah anne sacch hai...:(

[rajeshrathee]

Two perfect example of successful Love marriages

1. Mrs & Mr. NAVIN GULIA Bhai

2. Me and my wife

and we are:) :cool: :p :D

[rajeshrathee]

Two perfect example of successful Love marriages

1. Mrs & Mr. NAVIN GULIA Bhai

2. Me and my wife

and we are:) :cool: :p :D


But it depends on the maturity level of two partners and also on their education and that you have to differentiate between love and infatuation.

Ravinder bhai we still love our family and parents the same way we love our wife

[hdsura]

Jatni's are too tough for others to handle.

Jats are too unsophisticated for others to carry on.

[yudhvirmor]

Jatni's are too tough for others to handle.

Jats are too unsophisticated for others to carry on.:mad: :mad:

Hi buddy,

I strongly disagree that Jats are unsophisticated. Jats boys are like a dream man for gals from other castes and religion.

I know gals in bangalore who are crazy for jat boys. Reasons are simple:

1. They are staright forward and down to earth.

2. Good family values and loyal partners.

3 In most of the cases good hieght, pretty fair and good built.


we r most sought after people buddy.:) :) :)

[ssgoyat]

WAaH yudvir mor sahaab......dil khush kar diya aapne to :D ;)

me bhi banglore aa raha hu, for my new joining there......aapse jarur milunga:p


Cheers....

and mr.hdsura......jaatni's are tough to handle ye to thoda bahut sahi hai:rolleyes: ..par
Jats are too unsophisticated for others to carry on.......ye bilkul galat hai....:o

[rajeshnain]

As time has changed & the present environment is totally different now. Intercaste marriages are so common . I need to know the opinion of ONLINE jats about intercase marriage. It is a fact that JATs are deeply rooted to their customs & traditions. but the circumstances can change the thinking...........
I am really excited to get know the opinion of the JATs about this. Please
tell your views about intercaste marriage.


Prashant chaudhary
_--------------------
JAI BHAGWAN JAT BALWAN



I would say " don`t change with the change but change before the CHANGE"
SO jamane ke saath chalo bhayio. jo bhi pasand ho aur jise chahte ho usssi se shadi karo chahe wo jat ho ya koi aur... LIVE LIFE LOVINGLY

[hdsura]

The sophisticated part is hot cake or at least in Banglore.

The tough part doesn't take offence in not being pursued. -:)

[yudhvirmor]

The sophisticated part is hot cake or at least in Banglore.

The tough part doesn't take offence in not being pursued. -:)

Harydyal bhai ab kuch baat bani. hahahahah

:D :D :D

[brainspeak]

pher te banglore e aana padega....:D

[parity]

I dont think there is any harm in intercaste marriage if one's family n luvd ones are happy with that decision :)

I myself dont believe even in luv marriage (in the same caste) coz of my khandan's views :D (i dont fight to change them,i respect my elders' views)
But in general if family is ready to accept then no harm :)

[kharub]

I avoided taking part in this discussion because my posts on similar issues previously have been catagorised as extreme. But I just could not resist the temptation to put my views forth on this .................


Jats are not a cast ..... but an ethnic group
So a Jat marrying of the Jat race is not an inter-cast marriage,but marrying out of one's ethnic group, even if its with another Indian.

The other groups which falls under a common ethnicity with Jats are - Rajputs, Yadavs & Gujjars (though the Gujjar bit is highly debated)

In my opinion if a Jat marries a Rajput, Yadav or Gujjar its allright .....

But inter-ethnic marriges are definately wrong and a by-product of globalisation and capitalist economy .. the whole purpose behind which is to create a Global Elite consisting of all the rich & wealthy from every country & race and a Global Serfs (peasants) .. the downtrodenn common man ..... and kill all other cultural & racial identities

Any body who is proud of their culture and blood would not believe in inter-ethnic marriage ...as it destroys those very things and one's belonging to them ....


The Contemporary Context:

Now we do not have enough females in our race .... why because the generation preceding mine and mine too are bloody murderers ... killing the little girls before they are even born ...Shame on you people ... and that includes all of you ... because even if you did not do it yourself you silently approved it .. by not coming out in public against this evil evil practise ....

So we do not have enough females .. so what should we do .. two choices :

1. Share Wives: Might be a shocking suggestion for some .. but simple maths says that when you dont have 1:1 , then you just have to have 2:1 or 3:1 , depending on the availability .... But we live in a modern world and such a practise would not be possible or accepted socially ..... so we are left with

2. Marrying into comparable Ethnic Groups: Jats cant marry any Jhangi or Chamar ....nothing worng with them .. they are good people .. but not cultutally, socially and ethnically compatible with Jats
It would be like making a parachute from Gold .. gold is a very expensive material ..but not suitable for parachute making .. similarly not every caste/ethnic group is compatible with Jats - our temperament, out attitude, our physical attributes and social standing

We have to look outside for the missing females .... YES .... but we need to look for compatible ethicities.
My suggestions : Pashtuns, Arabs, Turks, Non-Slavic Europeans .... these ethinc groups are very similar to Jat and thus can be mixed with.
Such clans will give us a good genetic mix and keep our genes and culture strong.

I would not want or approve of my sister getting married to a non-Jat .... reason : there are not enough girls in our race .. we have none to share .... so this is only applicable for Jats males ...

If we stop committing the henious act of female fetocide in 100 years we will have an excess of females (natural rule) .. then it should be forbidden for Boys to marry outside but girls would be allowed to marry into similar ethnicities as mentioned above ...

I believe that all Jat males living abroad should marry into similar not-Jat ethicities as they have a better chance of finding compatible partners outside our race, then people residing in India. and leave the Jat girls for the boys in India.

But this inter-marriage even in similar & compatible ethicities comes with a big challenge and responsibility
The responsibility to Jatise your wife and kids ... a more than average effort will have to be made in such cases for making sure that the kids do not have two identity and they feel and identify themselves as Jats ... it is ofcourse important for them to know their other part too ....... but they should essentially feel Jats and identify themselves as such ....

Thats my take ..... (and i am ready for the anticipated criticism)

[ramksehrawat]

Inter-caste, ethnicity, compatibility etc. etc. very heavy words, sir ke uppar ke uttar ge. What a paradox that we are talking about inter-caste ! Inter-caste marriage for jats is not a matter of choice anymore. Rather it is a necessity. Why? Because, we committed the sin of killing the brides in their mother's womb and played havoc with sex-ratio. After all about 20% boys have to look for girls from out of their caste courtesy infanticide. Take a round of 3-4 villages and you will find many B'deshi Salmas married to jats.

[balrajsejwal]

respected members ram ram,
am against of intercast marriage in case of jaat"s, may be because it has never happenned in past(in my village and in my relatives)and can boast about of having a pure jaat blood, if jaat"s starts following intercast marriage then what will differenciates them from others as they are from ages

[harishdahiya]

bhai intercaste marriage ke baare mein mein bhi kuch kahana chatahu........
jab kisi ko kisi se pyaar hota hai to vo caste,amiri garibi nahi dhekta ........kyoki pyaar sharto par nahi vicharo ke milne par hota hai.....ye baat nahi hai ki apni caste mein vichar nahi milenge .......lekin meine ye mahsoos kiya hai ki jab aapko koi acha lagne lage to aap ke liye caste ek second thought ban jati hai.........
vaise bhi sabko apne tarike se jine ka hak hai...........usse jo pasand ho vo karne ka hak hai to shadi kyo nahi.............
mera ye maana hai ki jo aapko samje jise aap samje aapko shadi ussi se karni chaiye...........rahi bacho ki baat to kisse pata hai ki vo kaise honge.......mein intercaste marriage ke against nahi hu.........

[harishdahiya]

Two perfect example of successful Love marriages

1. Mrs & Mr. NAVIN GULIA Bhai

2. Me and my wife

and we are:) :cool: :p :D


But it depends on the maturity level of two partners and also on their education and that you have to differentiate between love and infatuation.

Ravinder bhai we still love our family and parents the same way we love our wife

rajesh bhai saab mein aap se bilkul sahmat hu..........aur kuch kahne se pehle dua karta hu aap log aise hi ek dusre ko pyaar karte rahe...........
mein ye samjta hu agar aap apne parents ke saath ache se rahe unhe samje aur vo aapko samje to intercaste marrriage koi problem nahi hai...........meri parivaar mein mere cusions ne love marriage hi ki hai vo bhi ek nahi tin bhaiyo ne.....aur vo aaj khus hai aur succesfull bhi..........
mein ye manta hu ki agar aap koi pasand aane laga hai aur aapko lagta hai ki aapke parents nahi maanege to pehle apne parents ke saath baat kijiye usse pupose karne se pehle........agar aap apne decison lene se pehle unki rai lenge to vo paka aapke saath honge.............

[kharub]

Inter-caste, ethnicity, compatibility etc. etc. very heavy words, sir ke uppar ke uttar ge. What a paradox that we are talking about inter-caste ! Inter-caste marriage for jats is not a matter of choice anymore. Rather it is a necessity. Why? Because, we committed the sin of killing the brides in their mother's womb and played havoc with sex-ratio. After all about 20% boys have to look for girls from out of their caste courtesy infanticide. Take a round of 3-4 villages and you will find many B'deshi Salmas married to jats.

This is exactly what I said Sehrawat Bhai .... that its a neccessity now for our race .. and what I proposed was finding partners in compatible clans like Rajputs, Yadavs, Gujjars, Pashtun, Arabs, Turks etc .... rather than buying malnourished, illetrate, social-outcasts from Bihar, Orrissa, Bengal & Bangladesh ....

[romy]

Now a days when you see the Jat culture in the cities even like Rohtak, you find People being more & more influenced by Punjabi culture and rituals even if we make a semblence of following our own rituals. The media being what it is most of us dont even know old Jat rituals and marriages & Other functions are celebrated in a very morden way.

If you are worried about adjustment of cultures dont worry as there is hardly any culture left which is not an assimilation.

even in our villages women are now being imported from Himachal & assam because of a shortage of women.

I think that Intercast marriages are not a problem but the problem is the fear of the loss of identity. but why should that be if you are proud of being a Jat and teach you children about the communty.

Many of us are ashamed of talking in Haryanavi in public whereas everyone else from Kashmit to Kanyakumari will talk in their mother tongue.

Our insecurity should go and only then will we have no problems in such things as intercast marriages.

[ramksehrawat]

This is exactly what I said Sehrawat Bhai .... that its a neccessity now for our race .. and what I proposed was finding partners in compatible clans like Rajputs, Yadavs, Gujjars, Pashtun, Arabs, Turks etc .... rather than buying malnourished, illetrate, social-outcasts from Bihar, Orrissa, Bengal & Bangladesh ....


What you suggest would have been the ideal alternative, Kharub sahab, but Rajputs and Yadavs are in no better position as regards sex ratio. Pashtuns, Arabs and Turks is very difficult proposition as they hardly like Indians, though I personally know a couple of jat boys married to Pashtuns but they are settled abroad. Arabs and Turks are averse to coming to India and settling down here. Moreover, the shortfall has affected mostly those jats who are poor, not much educated, mostly unemployed and staying in villages. Whose else, other than those from the Eastern part, would like to live in a Haryana village.

[kharub]

What you suggest would have been the ideal alternative, Kharub sahab, but Rajputs and Yadavs are in no better position as regards sex ratio. Pashtuns, Arabs and Turks is very difficult proposition as they hardly like Indians, though I personally know a couple of jat boys married to Pashtuns but they are settled abroad. Arabs and Turks are averse to coming to India and settling down here. Moreover, the shortfall has affected mostly those jats who are poor, not much educated, mostly unemployed and staying in villages. Whose else, other than those from the Eastern part, would like to live in a Haryana village.

Sehrawat Ji,

It is indeed a very complicated situation ....... Yes you are right that Yadavs & Rajputs have the same drastic situation like us ...

A lot of Pashtuns, Arabs & Turks that I know are very positive in their opinion of Indians and especially Jats when they know them from close.

I always had a very good connection with Arabs from the very first day I went abroad .. they are very Jat in attitude and confidence

Well Pashtuns might be willing to come and settle in India .. but yes I am sure not many Arabs & Turks will be willing to do so ....

We also have Jat communities in Pakistani Punjab, Sindh, Baluchistan ... but religious differences might be a serious problem to counter in that case.

Well in that case Jats Males settled abroad should take foreign wives so that there are more eligible females available for our brethren in India.

What I am proposing is a general theory ofcourse individuals dont marry for the race and society but for their happiness ....... but I think we should all have societal & racial considerations in mind as well when choosing our partners .......... as we belong to a race and the survival of which depends on our maritial choice .......

[rajeshrathee]

I think marriage should be by choice and comfort level and not by compulsion of doing it in a limited sphere. After all its a question of your entire life.

See the primitive context. Jats were marrying into themselves and are either farmers or in defence.

Then why are now we are in different fields and doing extremely well.

Now just think that someone giving some limited professions that a JAT should work in these professions only?

If tommarow I am in trouble then my wife or immediate family members or true friends will come to rescue none else.

Now I have some questions are all of our customs are justified in modern context? The unfair decisions by the so called "Panchayats" are fair? No because I think that the educations broaden the outlook of a person and if all the so called panchayat members would be atleast a graduate then the decision would be different. Is it practible to call a husband and wife as brother and sister at a time when the wife is pregnant? So a person will tend to be influenced by the customs of other castes if they are found to be simple, justified or easy to follow. Why the barat are not staying for 2/3 nights now a days while it was a practise in the past?. Previously 3 gotra were avoided for marriage and now it has came down to 2 at many places ,Why?. Sahar main rahne walein apne ghar main 'bhais' kyun nahi bandhte? Purane time main husband ki maut ke bad dusre bhai ko latta udhane ki pratha ,(without considering the educational/maturity level) aajkal kaun jat ladki ya ladka brdasht karega?

Its very easy to talk of ideologies or telling someone to follow ideologies but are we following those. Every human is having different circumstances and the a decision taken at that time is influenced by those facts. There is a difference between saying and doing the same thing at different times.

Isliye jo man main aaye karo, its your personal life, but take care of your family and take your family to a higher level then where your parents have brought that earlier.

[kamnanadar]

Main intercate marrige ke khilaf nahin hoon. Par ek baat kah sakti hoon ke intercaste marrige kam kaamyab hoti hain. Isaka matlab ye nahin hai ki apni caste main ki hui shadi kaamyab hona jaroori hai. Par intercaste marrige or apni caste main shaadi ke baad ki problems alag alag tarike ki hoti hain. Phle to dono ek duste ke liye sab kurbaaniyan karne ko tiyaar rahte hain or shaadi ke baad dono ek dusre se yahi chahte hain ki kurbaani dusra de. Intercaste shaadi kamyaab na hone ka ek kaaran ye bhi hota hai ki hum jis maahol main or jin reeti rivajon ke beech bachpan se pale bade hain unko shaadi ke baad chodna mushkil hota hai , yahan tak ki khaan paan main bhi frq hota hai , sunne main ye baatein lagti to bahut choti hain par baad main yahi choti choti baatein badi ladai ka roop le leti hain or kitna bhi kuch na karo tum rahoge paraaye hi unlogon ke beech ye dono traf se hota hai. Phir inhin choti choti baaton ko lekar ek doosre ke khoon lak ko gaali di jaati hai ki tera to khoon hi esa hai or teri to jaat (Caste) hi esi hai . Maine ese bahut se case dekhe hain. ISILIYE JAHAN TAK HO SAKE SHADI APNI HI CASTE MAIN KARNI CHAHIYE NIBHANE MAIN AASANI HOTI HAI. Or jahan tak ye pyar vyar ki baat hai ye sab bakwas hai thode din ka bukhar hota hai .
shadi ke baad wale pyar main jo attoot bandhan hai vo pahle pyar karke shadi wale pyar main nahin hai. Pehle to ek doosre ke liye marne ke liye taiyaar rahte hain or shaadi ke baad ek doosre ko maarne or kadam kadam par neecha dikhane ke liye tiyaar rahte hain ek bhi moka haath se nahin jaane dete.
Agar kisi ko meri baaton se chot pahunchi ho to maaf karna.

[kharub]

I think marriage should be by choice and comfort level and not by compulsion of doing it in a limited sphere. After all its a question of your entire life.

Rathee Bhai sahab you are absolutely right, but marriage in traditional terms is essentially a social ceremony and the love and all these concepts have been recently imported into this institution from the WEST ...... I am not saying there is anything wrong with the new editions , but they are alien to our traditional model

See the primitive context. Jats were marrying into themselves and are either farmers or in defence.

Then why are now we are in different fields and doing extremely well.

Now just think that someone giving some limited professions that a JAT should work in these professions only?

I am sorry to say Bhai Sahab, but this is not the only reason Jats have married internally. Jats have also pursued a lot of professions historically from being Kings & Conquerers, Traders to Farmers, Colonists, Doctors & Entreprenuers ........ And a sense of community is much more stronger than a need to marry internally

... Look at Jews they do everything from scientists (Albert Einstein) to Bankers (Rothchilds) to Politics (dont need any names here do we) to Journalism (Wolf Blitzer - CNN) to Hollywood (Woody Allen, etc) ......... they dont have any need to marry internally but they do ......... because the concept of a race is much more stronger than a need to marry ........ And anybody who has pride in his her blood should see it as a want or a duty and not a need


Now I have some questions are all of our customs are justified in modern context? The unfair decisions by the so called "Panchayats" are fair? No because I think that the educations broaden the outlook of a person and if all the so called panchayat members would be atleast a graduate then the decision would be different.

Rathee bhai sahab a lot of people that we follow did not have any formal education. Education does enlighten but it is not the only criteria to judge someone's intellegence & intellect. A lot of leading personalities were "self-educated". You have people like Eisntein who did miserably at school and people like George Bush - a graduate fo Yale University.

And our community elders maybe not educated but are capable nonetheless.
The Panchayat system in not a "Dictatorship" but a very just and open system when the community decided what is right or wrong and if you live in a community you have to accept it.

Panchayati system is not how you have portrayed it - unjust & cruel. It is rather democratic, taking into account the feelings of the wider community and not just a few people. It is a fair system.

I have seen many a literate idiots ... trust me having a graduate degree is no gurantee of intellegence


Is it practible to call a husband and wife as brother and sister at a time when the wife is pregnant? So a person will tend to be influenced by the customs of other castes if they are found to be simple, justified or easy to follow.

Evil is always easy to follow and a person who gives into the easy should not be a part of a community and can do as he/she please. Its very hard to build, maintain and continue a community.

As for the particular incident you are talking about, Yes the particular decision was harsh and maybe unfair too, but this is why we have a system to follow.

They should have checked these things before getting married, cmmon we all know what is accepted and what is not and if someone still goes ahead and does wrong , knowingly or unknowingly this must be punishable and is in the legal system.

Yes the decisions might seem unfair and irrational from a personal angle, they are very impotant form the social perspective as they set the future trends.

If you donot check what is the permitted level of alcohol for driving in US and have 4-5 pints of beer and then caught driving, you think the offficer will buy your excuse of not knowing how much is the legal limit. - NO

Its your duty to find that out before you get drinking and then drive. Same here ...........


Why the barat are not staying for 2/3 nights now a days while it was a practise in the past?. Previously 3 gotra were avoided for marriage and now it has came down to 2 at many places ,Why?. Sahar main rahne walein apne ghar main 'bhais' kyun nahi bandhte? Purane time main husband ki maut ke bad dusre bhai ko latta udhane ki pratha ,(without considering the educational/maturity level) aajkal kaun jat ladki ya ladka brdasht karega?

The biggest problem with us people is that we percieve Westernasation to be Moderenisation ...... Its not so. We have our own ways of doing things and we should modernaise in our own way and not follow the western set-up as a guide for modernisation.

The changes you are talking about are not fundamental changes ........ a "bhais" does not make a Jat a Jat ....... but the shortcuts people have stated taking these days does not mean that it is the right way

Its very easy to talk of ideologies or telling someone to follow ideologies but are we following those. Every human is having different circumstances and the a decision taken at that time is influenced by those facts. There is a difference between saying and doing the same thing at different times.

Well this individualism that you are professing is the very Western Concept that is at odds with our culture, people & Quam. Jats have always done things for the community the whole Jat System is community based and so are our traditions.

If it was all about individualism, you would be able to marry any female and nobody would give a damn about the Gotras ...... you could marry your cousin if you wished to do so ....... But thats not the case

And this western inspired "Individualism" that you are professing is what is killing our values and culture

Our practices and culture has always been ideology & community based and not guided by personal whims. This individualism is alien to us

Isliye jo man main aaye karo, its your personal life, but take care of your family and take your family to a higher level then where your parents have brought that earlier.

This is not a Jat thing do do whatever you want, we live in a community and not in a Jungle ......... Yes if you are not proud of your community and want nothing to do with it ..... then feel free to do anything you want .... but if you even remotely care about who you are and where you belong. then you should (and I am not saying must) follow your traditions ......... this is what makes you who you are - A JAT

[meenu_singhch]

WAaH yudvir mor sahaab......dil khush kar diya aapne to :D ;)

me bhi banglore aa raha hu, for my new joining there......aapse jarur milunga:p


Cheers....

and mr.hdsura......jaatni's are tough to handle ye to thoda bahut sahi hai:rolleyes: ..par
Jats are too unsophisticated for others to carry on.......ye bilkul galat hai....:o

Its seems really very nice to see the changing views of the community.
People are understanding the basic idea of getting married.
Its like some revolution has taken place in our community.Probably because of education people are coming out of boxes.

Its doesnt mean that i am in favour of inter-cast marriage.Its the matter of
happiness and growth of two people, two families and two culture together.And if its happening with in the same community then nothing can be better than this but even if its happening within two different community...is there any harm??
I dont think so.But still i would prefer to get married in my own community
if i find a suitable match definately.

And here i agree with Mr. Yudhvir Mor but only if Jat guys is successfull..:-))
And nobody can under-estimate jatni's.They are also in race.They are smart,Intelligent,working, social,good home-maker almost all qualities...Am i right?What do u all say....

[crsnadar]

Dear Bahan Kamna,
Myself from Firozpur.
U r from Gothni, Ramgarhi, Bhutgarhi or Bhunna Jatan??
Very nice to see one more from NADARYA gotra.

This is a burning topic now a days.

As education, socioeconomic & living standards are changing day by day, we need to accept certain changes.
If the change is positive then it is well & good.

If the two who have to live their life together are from good families then I think it should be accepted irrespctive the caste they belongs to.

We all are having some rural touch whether we are in Delhi, Mumbai or Newyork, Helsinki.
So we face these problem more than others who do not have such rural background.
But by the time we can manage it I hope.

Bye Bahan
RAHUL NADARYA (or NADAR)
Firozpur
Khurja
Bulandshahar
UP

[crsnadar]

Dear All,

Can we have list of Inter Caste Marriages at JATLAND?
- Caste Wise -

Bye

[yudhvirmor]

Its seems really very nice to see the changing views of the community.
And here i agree with Mr. Yudhvir Mor but only if Jat guys is successfull..:-))
And nobody can under-estimate jatni's.They are also in race.They are smart,Intelligent,working, social,good home-maker almost all qualities...Am i right?What do u all say....


We cant affort to under estimate jatanis.

I went through this thread and ppl have collective opinion that we should go for what we like and love is all about chemistry b/w 2 ppl.

Most of us here mentioned that we will marry in our community only.

I am not able to understand 2 things here

1. Do we know how to love somebody?

2. Are we trying to be calculative and opportunist in relations?

Most of ppl here advocate that guy/ gal must be successful...

It’s a bitter truth that arrange marriages are kind of business where we want just best.

We are part of this portal because we belong to same caste as I earlier said Jat is not a caste, it’s an attitude.

Do we think it will be same and our kids will discuss things with same zeal here if our spouses belong to some other caste?

Animals do what they love to do. We are human beings and governed by some principles and some values system

I believe getting married in our caste is a part of that value system.

[bahadur1]

First of all, Ram Ram to all members,

I think it is not good to go beyond the community, because the man is a social creature. So, we should have some boundaries to respect others feelings. Before doing this everyone should think over these points :

1. Whatever you are going to do, if your parents did the same in their age, what would be your situation.

2. Is our community have lack of intellectual lads or lasses, if not, why you are leaping in others house?

3. Today, you are fascinated by his/her body, will it remain the same till the end of life?

4. What will be the identity of your kids?

5. If she / he is in love with you, can she / he not be with any other, while your position is not good.

If your love is accepted by the community then there is no problem.

The decision is at your end. None can stop you.

Bahadur Sinsinwar

[priti]

Can u enlighten us on what 'are' the 'jat things' to do?


This is not a Jat thing do do whatever you want, we live in a community and not in a Jungle ......... Yes if you are not proud of your community and want nothing to do with it ..... then feel free to do anything you want .... but if you even remotely care about who you are and where you belong. then you should (and I am not saying must) follow your traditions ......... this is what makes you who you are - A JAT

[MKadwa]

First of all, Ram Ram to all members,

I think it is not good to go beyond the community, because the man is a social creature. So, we should have some boundaries to respect others feelings. Before doing this everyone should think over these points :

1. Whatever you are going to do, if your parents did the same in their age, what would be your situation.

2. Is our community have lack of intellectual lads or lasses, if not, why you are leaping in others house?

3. Today, you are fascinated by his/her body, will it remain the same till the end of life?

4. What will be the identity of your kids?

5. If she / he is in love with you, can she / he not be with any other, while your position is not good.

If your love is accepted by the community then there is no problem.

The decision is at your end. None can stop you.

Bahadur Sinsinwar


I am totally agree with you for, Whatever you have written here.

And rest is on the individuals, how they think of it?

[kharub]

Can u enlighten us on what 'are' the 'jat things' to do?

Jat things coem with a gut feeling ....... and you are probably much more smarter than me and I couldn't possibly enlighten you or anybody else ...

I just state my views ... I leave enlightenment to "Massihas" on this site ... and there are many here .. so if you are looking for enlightenment .. I would be the wrong person to expect it from .......

[priti]

-got posted twice-

[priti]

Dont get me wrong Vishwajeet, sorry for being sarcastic. But its really frustrating to read so many misgivings by people when they themselves haven't experienced it. When they claim that love marriages are less successful and such people change after getting married, they are selfish, living nightmares (ok, i'm exaggerating a little) and so on and so forth...where are the statistics to prove that this is the case, in my opinion, such cases get highlighted because they are love marriages in the first place (dialogues like 'aur karlo punjaban te byah'). And to be honest people who are strong enough to marry out of their own choice are also likely to stronger not to stay in bad marriages.

I have an intercaste marriage and I come from a very conventional jat family...and believe me, it has been nothing but a pleasure for me and for my parents and none of my relatives (except the people who crib over falling rain) have changed their attitudes because they understand that its my choice and they care for me as much as I do for them. I admit you have go that extra mile to get everyone on side but that much you can do for having a life partner you want...

I'm also not saying that love marriages are the best option, i agree it can definitely give you a lot of headache is not properly thought out. As I said before in this thread, if you have total conviction in one person then go ahead otherwise leave it to your parents.

My point is that having an inclusive approach does not mean you have to change entirely and that you do not remain a jat (which i understood from your last post). All my family, relatives (both sides), friends know me as a proud jat woman and having a partner from another community does not change that, I'm the ambassador of my community and I do not want to let it down by having a exclusionary approach. It is a part of my identity, attitude and language and it'll be an inheritance to our children.

This is just to give people the other side of the story...marriage is a very personal decision.

As for the macro level problem of sex ratio...this is an outcome of bad things being done in the past and present...there will be consequences...and tying the victim (the female) again in the shackles (as you suggested in a post that the guys can marry anybody of superior race they want but jat girls should only marry in the community because many of them have been killed in infancy thus less in number) to provide a solution to a crime that has been committed against her...its like punishing her all over again for being less in number...lol...now thats not fair...is it?




Jat things coem with a gut feeling ....... and you are probably much more smarter than me and I couldn't possibly enlighten you or anybody else ...

I just state my views ... I leave enlightenment to "Massihas" on this site ... and there are many here .. so if you are looking for enlightenment .. I would be the wrong person to expect it from .......

[dndeswal]

.
Jatlanders had forgotten this thread after 7 November 2006.

On 27 December 2006, I posted my thread Jat – 36 Koum Ka Jamai !! (http://www.jatland.com/forums/showthread.php?t=18434) (in humor section), giving a link and referring to this thread. It was a coincidence that on the same day, a news item appeared in The Tribune which I posted here in this thread (post No. 40) – without any comments. Now, it is a hot topic but I do not take the credit for this.

Ironically, the member who started this thread is shown as ‘banned’ at this moment (reasons not known to me). What poor Prashant Chaudhary might be feeling at this moment?

Is there a relationship between seriousness of ‘General Talk’ and kilki of 'humor' forum? Maybe so - by giving links or making references. Just guessing !! :) :)
.

[priti]

Teh e thread ne revive karan ka rog aapne e katya se....:) ibb samajh mein aayi baat....na te aap latifa sunate arr na mein in vichara ne pad pad ke phukti :)
ibb mein safely keh deti hun ke mere pichchli post ke sole responsibility deshwal ji ki se....:D

arr woh bhai pareshaan kyun ban kar diya??


.
Jatlanders had forgotten this thread after 7 November 2006.

On 27 December 2006, I posted my thread Jat – 36 Koum Ka Jamai !! (http://www.jatland.com/forums/showthread.php?t=18434) (in humor section), giving a link and referring to this thread. It was a coincidence that on the same day, a news item appeared in The Tribune which I posted here in this thread (post No. 40) – without any comments. Now, it is a hot topic but I do not take the credit for this.

Ironically, the member who started this thread is shown as ‘banned’ at this moment (reasons not known to me). What poor Prashant Chaudhary might be feeling at this moment?

Is there a relationship between seriousness of ‘General Talk’ and kilki of 'humor' forum? Maybe so - by giving links or making references. Just guessing !! :) :)
.

[dndeswal]

Teh e thread ne revive karan ka rog aapne e katya se....:) ibb samajh mein aayi baat....na te aap latifa sunate arr na mein in vichara ne pad pad ke phukti :)
ibb mein safely keh deti hun ke mere pichchli post ke sole responsibility deshwal ji ki se....:D

arr woh bhai pareshaan kyun ban kar diya??

कोई बात नहीं प्रीति - जहां भी रहो, सुखी रहो । मनुष्य एक सामाजिक प्राणी है, समाज में परिवर्तन भी होते आये हैं और हो रहे हैं, होते भी रहेंगे । हर जाति, हर गांव और देशों के रीति रिवाज अलग अलग हैं, पर आजकल globalisation का असर सभी जगह हो रहा है ।

इसलिए मैं अब भी यही लिख रहा हूं - No comments.
.

[priti]

Thank you for the wishes Deshwalji...par ji with all respect nyun jaroor boojhungi ki globalisation arr is topic mein kya relation hai...


कोई बात नहीं प्रीति - जहां भी रहो, सुखी रहो । मनुष्य एक सामाजिक प्राणी है, समाज में परिवर्तन भी होते आये हैं और हो रहे हैं, होते भी रहेंगे । हर जाति, हर गांव और देशों के रीति रिवाज अलग अलग हैं, पर आजकल globalisation का असर सभी जगह हो रहा है ।

इसलिए मैं अब भी यही लिख रहा हूं - No comments.
.

[ritu]

very good question asked.
priti i agree with ur point of view regarding marriage.
marriage itself is important than any thing else .if they r compataible and happy together.who cares about the caste.ab husband to husband hi rahega:rolleyes: aur wife wife hi rahegi.:cool: agar wife punjabn ho bhi gyi to kya farak painda h.bachhe bhangra karna seekh jayenge.


Can u enlighten us on what 'are' the 'jat things' to do?

[vinodks]

क्यो खाम्खां बेफ़िजुल कि बातो में समय नष्ट कर रहे हो? जिसको जाति के बाहर शादी करनी है वो करो जिसको नही करनी वो मत करो... यह जाटो का दुर्भाग्य है कि नैतिकता की परिभाषा ऎसी छोटी-छोटी रुढिवादि परंपराऔ और विचारो तक सीमित रह गयी है ।

[priti]

thank you teacherji for reminding me again :p and summarizing the whole discussion in beautiful hindi words...can always count on you to get tapped on the knuckles :o
क्यो खाम्खां बेफ़िजुल कि बातो में समय नष्ट कर रहे हो? जिसको जाति के बाहर शादी करनी है वो करो जिसको नही करनी वो मत करो... यह जाटो का दुर्भाग्य है कि नैतिकता की परिभाषा ऎसी छोटी-छोटी रुढिवादि परंपराऔ और विचारो तक सीमित रह गयी है ।

[gaganrana]

Ram Ram Jats and Jatnees..

NICE! Topic: Intercast Marriage, wo bhee JAATOON MAINE....:D KYA BAAT HAI.....

I dont mind marring a NON-JAT GIRL.......but my parents will OF-COURSE mind...... Maa khaatee hai "GHAR MAINE MAT GUSJAYAEE".... :)

As they value JAT culture, rules and regulations...... and I value NO BOUNDARIES*....

Sara kissa VALUES ka hai....and YES----VALUES DO CHANGE WITH TIME..... thats what I WANT TO SAY....

*= FOR the betterment of society, country and the world.

[poonam]

क्यो खाम्खां बेफ़िजुल कि बातो में समय नष्ट कर रहे हो? जिसको जाति के बाहर शादी करनी है वो करो जिसको नही करनी वो मत करो... यह जाटो का दुर्भाग्य है कि नैतिकता की परिभाषा ऎसी छोटी-छोटी रुढिवादि परंपराऔ और विचारो तक सीमित रह गयी है ।


Couldn't have agreed more with you Vinod!!! Precisely, totally with you!!..:)

[kharub]

Dont get me wrong Vishwajeet, sorry for being sarcastic. But its really frustrating to read so many misgivings by people when they themselves haven't experienced it. When they claim that love marriages are less successful and such people change after getting married, they are selfish, living nightmares (ok, i'm exaggerating a little) and so on and so forth...where are the statistics to prove that this is the case,

The divorce rate in the West & rural India would give you a clear indication as to what works and what not

in my opinion, such cases get highlighted because they are love marriages in the first place (dialogues like 'aur karlo punjaban te byah'). And to be honest people who are strong enough to marry out of their own choice are also likely to stronger not to stay in bad marriages.

Yes absolutely right .....


I have an intercaste marriage and I come from a very conventional jat family...and believe me, it has been nothing but a pleasure for me and for my parents and none of my relatives (except the people who crib over falling rain) have changed their attitudes because they understand that its my choice and they care for me as much as I do for them. I admit you have go that extra mile to get everyone on side but that much you can do for having a life partner you want...

You have married a non-jat ....... you should not be on this site .. you are not a Jat anymore (Just Joking):D :D

I'm also not saying that love marriages are the best option, i agree it can definitely give you a lot of headache is not properly thought out. As I said before in this thread, if you have total conviction in one person then go ahead otherwise leave it to your parents.

My point is that having an inclusive approach does not mean you have to change entirely and that you do not remain a jat (which i understood from your last post). All my family, relatives (both sides), friends know me as a proud jat woman and having a partner from another community does not change that, I'm the ambassador of my community and I do not want to let it down by having a exclusionary approach. It is a part of my identity, attitude and language and it'll be an inheritance to our children.

But your children will also have a non-Jat half .. so will they be consideed Jats or feel Jat when their father is a non-Jat ... that is the point in question

This is just to give people the other side of the story...marriage is a very personal decision.

Now it is becoming a personal decision more and more ....... it used to be a social & family decision (about 30 years ago) ...

As for the macro level problem of sex ratio...this is an outcome of bad things being done in the past and present...there will be consequences...and tying the victim (the female) again in the shackles (as you suggested in a post that the guys can marry anybody of superior race they want but jat girls should only marry in the community because many of them have been killed in infancy thus less in number) to provide a solution to a crime that has been committed against her...its like punishing her all over again for being less in number...lol...now thats not fair...is it?

I never said superior caste ....... I said compatible ......... there is no superior or inferior .....

What I stated was a very theoratical approach ... didn't mean that this is what needs to be done ........ It was from a community prespective and a broad approach , not every theory can be applied for word in reality .. .. and and it is not fair , but the question is survival of the Quam and if we will start debating fairness now .. we will miss the bigger question as to what can be done now when there are not enough females ........ Yes in recent history we have been extremely unfair to the females in our community


Now Priti Ji .......you having an intercast marriage does not make you any less Jat than me or anybody else here ...... one is born a Jat and one dies one..

But thats the question .. what is being a Jat ?? How are Jats different from other communities in their attitude ??
Is it just the customs & traditions or it is the gene pool ... that gives us that Jat attitude, confidence and paradigm

Please do not percieve my comments to be offensive or hostile , I am just jotting down my thoughts .... In the Indian family set-up or in the general Global family set-up ...

When a male and a female get married .......... the female takes on the males family name ...... she lives with his family , so even though she follows her own customs ... his customs dominate ...
So when they have kids ... the kids are alreday half- Jat & half-whatever ..... now there is already two conflicting identities ...... When the kids grow in that household , the Jat mother makes a lot of effort for them to understand and realise their Jat-half ....... but still they grow up in a whatever majority household and those are the traditions and customs that will hold importance .. in addition to their family name which will be non-Jat

Now the mother is undoubtedly a Jat ....... but the kids at best will call themselves .. half-Jat ........

The question is what happens to the next generation ....... in my humble view ... at best they will be half-jat .. or they will be non-Jats .....

This is why when a Jat guys marries a non-Jat girl ...... it is more easier for that family to be Jats in the future ........ its not a sexist point of view , just the reality considering the social set-up

And it is now with globalisation and western-styled liberation that individualism has taken preference over community ...... and I am there with you as well in that matter ... half the things I do are purely individual decisions ...... but thats the thing ....... this is a recent change ... its not how we have lived and evolved and a community since we became aware of our identity

[kharub]

क्यो खाम्खां बेफ़िजुल कि बातो में समय नष्ट कर रहे हो? जिसको जाति के बाहर शादी करनी है वो करो जिसको नही करनी वो मत करो... यह जाटो का दुर्भाग्य है कि नैतिकता की परिभाषा ऎसी छोटी-छोटी रुढिवादि परंपराऔ और विचारो तक सीमित रह गयी है ।

Vinod Bhai Sahab, your contribution on Jat history is worth a gold medal ....and highly highly appreciated ........ I am big fan of your work

But if we do way with these "छोटी-छोटी रुढिवादि परंपराऔ" you will have nothing to write or research about in 50 years ........ because Jats will cease to exist ...

These "छोटी-छोटी रुढिवादि परंपराऔ" are what have kep us as a distinct ethnic group ... and this is why now you have a clear path and approach to look into and identify Jat History ... if we woudl have done away with such "छोटी-छोटी रुढिवादि परंपराऔ" say 500 years ago ...... you would have to get a new hobby now .... because there would be nothing distinctly Jat and thus nothing to look into and find out

These "छोटी-छोटी रुढिवादि परंपरा" are the only reason that Jats still exist .. otherwise it would just be Haryanvi, Punjabi, Rajasthani or Indian & Pakistani

This "दुर्भाग्य" is the very reason we have survived till date

[kharub]

Is Jat an attitude or an ethnic group ........ every scholar had described Jats an a distinct ethnic group .......

Definition of Ethnic Group:

An ethnic group is a human population whose members identify with each other, usually on the basis of a presumed common genealogy or ancestry (Smith, 1986).

The term ethnic means of or pertaining to a group of people recognized as a class on the basis of certain distinctive characteristics such as religion, language, ancestry, culture or national origin.
- San Diego State University

As Jats have different religions, languages & nationalities ...... the common ancestory & traditions is what defines our ethnicity .......

And intercast marriage ...... specially when a females marries outside the group .... goes contrary to those very principles

My discussion is purely for scholarly and academic reasons and I have no belief in lynching or outcasting people who participate in any such practise ........ It is a personal choice that they make by over-stepping social rules ...... but I do however believe that it is not easy and in some cases not possible to count their future generations as Jats

[brainspeak]

Dont get me wrong Vishwajeet, sorry for being sarcastic. But its really frustrating to read so many misgivings by people when they themselves haven't experienced it. When they claim that love marriages are less successful and such people change after getting married, they are selfish, living nightmares (ok, i'm exaggerating a little) and so on and so forth...where are the statistics to prove that this is the case, in my opinion, such cases get highlighted because they are love marriages in the first place (dialogues like 'aur karlo punjaban te byah'). And to be honest people who are strong enough to marry out of their own choice are also likely to stronger not to stay in bad marriages.

I have an intercaste marriage and I come from a very conventional jat family...and believe me, it has been nothing but a pleasure for me and for my parents and none of my relatives (except the people who crib over falling rain) have changed their attitudes because they understand that its my choice and they care for me as much as I do for them. I admit you have go that extra mile to get everyone on side but that much you can do for having a life partner you want...

I'm also not saying that love marriages are the best option, i agree it can definitely give you a lot of headache is not properly thought out. As I said before in this thread, if you have total conviction in one person then go ahead otherwise leave it to your parents.

My point is that having an inclusive approach does not mean you have to change entirely and that you do not remain a jat (which i understood from your last post). All my family, relatives (both sides), friends know me as a proud jat woman and having a partner from another community does not change that, I'm the ambassador of my community and I do not want to let it down by having a exclusionary approach. It is a part of my identity, attitude and language and it'll be an inheritance to our children.

This is just to give people the other side of the story...marriage is a very personal decision.

As for the macro level problem of sex ratio...this is an outcome of bad things being done in the past and present...there will be consequences...and tying the victim (the female) again in the shackles (as you suggested in a post that the guys can marry anybody of superior race they want but jat girls should only marry in the community because many of them have been killed in infancy thus less in number) to provide a solution to a crime that has been committed against her...its like punishing her all over again for being less in number...lol...now thats not fair...is it?


well i have a question here....jat gurls who marry into non jat family do they remain technically/legally as jats???.....suppose a jat gurl from rajasthan marries into brahmins....does she still retain her right in govt jobs/educational insitituions as an OBC candidate??....or she loses it??....or for tht matter if she marries into SCs does she acquire the right to jobs/education under the SC quota??....justa curiosity...

[priti]

very good question....I dont know the answer...


well i have a question here....jat gurls who marry into non jat family do they remain technically/legally as jats???.....suppose a jat gurl from rajasthan marries into brahmins....does she still retain her right in govt jobs/educational insitituions as an OBC candidate??....or she loses it??....or for tht matter if she marries into SCs does she acquire the right to jobs/education under the SC quota??....justa curiosity...

[priti]

There are other definitions of ethnicity too....including 'affiliation', 'porous boundaries', 'set of values' and 'traditions'...

Also, what is not mentioned in your definitions is whether the ancestry or race counts only as paternal...

Also, tell me why a person with a jat father (and mother from other community) be counted as a 'full-jat' and only a 'half-jat' in case of a jat mother? :confused: ...I know i'm asking an obvious question...but its something to think about...

I have a question...if jats are an ethnic group....what is their caste? and if somebody marries outside the community, is it inter-ethnic or inter-caste?

Also, the question of conflict....i find it similar to the discussion on whether you are no longer indian if you become a citizen of any other country....even the governments are recognizing dual citizenship:) ....



Is Jat an attitude or an ethnic group ........ every scholar had described Jats an a distinct ethnic group .......

Definition of Ethnic Group:

An ethnic group is a human population whose members identify with each other, usually on the basis of a presumed common genealogy or ancestry (Smith, 1986).

The term ethnic means of or pertaining to a group of people recognized as a class on the basis of certain distinctive characteristics such as religion, language, ancestry, culture or national origin.
- San Diego State University

As Jats have different religions, languages & nationalities ...... the common ancestory & traditions is what defines our ethnicity .......

And intercast marriage ...... specially when a females marries outside the group .... goes contrary to those very principles

My discussion is purely for scholarly and academic reasons and I have no belief in lynching or outcasting people who participate in any such practise ........ It is a personal choice that they make by over-stepping social rules ...... but I do however believe that it is not easy and in some cases not possible to count their future generations as Jats

[balrajsejwal]

respected members ram ram,
dont you think intercast mariage is like as one(non jat) becomes a member of jatland or a jat becomes a member of like say anyotherland, lol

[rajeshrathee]

Dear all

Krishan bhagwan once told Yashomati that she is his real mother as she is one one who brought him up? So I think Individualism is much above a caste. If a Jat girl marries outside caste then does her so called 'Jat blood" is changed overnite, NO. She was a Jat and she remains a Jat. Its like once DND Sir explained on "humour" section that anything which contained a rural language(Jaatu bhasha) is a Jat Joke.

What Priti is doing to Jat community even after marrying into a non jat family is an eye opener for everyone (Jan Jagriti Stuff). Hats off to you Priti and your family, including your husband.

And to the so called "Naye-2 Musalman" of Jatlands, who are doing nothing then reciting "allah-2", its very easy to point out a finger at oneself but you forget that by doing it three of your own fingers are pointing at youself.

You have no right to decide about Jatism, and don't personalise your thoughts and don't think that you are the only one of saviour of Jats.

Remember you have to change with time otherwise time will demolish you.

[rajeshrathee]

Kharub bhai ji

Ram Ram

Mere bhai, aap konse jamane ki baatein kar rahe ho. Chalo let me try to answer you stuff.

To be a human is first thing to me and to be a Jat is a secondary thing.

First tell me, Are you married or not? If you are not then you don’t know anything about love and marriage and have no right to talk of something you don’t have any knowledge? If you are married then, Was it a love marriage with an Arab/Rajput etc or an arranged marriage? Because that way, we can understand your facts and reply accordingly.

First of all you gave example of “Jews”. I think its wrong to compare Jats and Jews, it would have been fine if you would have compare Jews with Hinduism.

“Judaism shares some of the characteristics of a nation, an ethnicity, a religion, and a culture, making the definition of who is a Jew vary slightly depending on whether a religious or national approach to identity is used. Generally, in modern secular usage, Jews include three groups: people who practice Judaism and have a Jewish ethnic background (sometimes including those who do not have strictly matrilineal descent), people without Jewish parents who have converted to Judaism; and those Jews who, while not practicing Judaism as a religion, still identify themselves as Jewish by virtue of their family's Jewish descent and their own cultural and historical identification with the Jewish people.
Historical definitions of Jewish identity have traditionally been based on Halakhic definitions of matrilineal descent, and halachic conversions. Historical definitions of who is a Jew date back to the codification of the oral tradition into the Babylonian Talmud.
Biblical interpretations of sections in the Tanach, such as Deuteronomy 7:1-5, by learned Jewish sages, is used as a warning against intermarriage between Jews and non Jews because "[the non-Jewish male spouse] will cause your child to turn away from Me and they will worship the gods of others." Leviticus 24:10 speaks of the son in a marriage between a Hebrew woman and an Egyptian man to be "of the community of Israel.", which contrasts with Ezra 10:2-3, where Israelites returning from Babylon, vowed to put aside their gentile wives and their children. Since the Haskalah, these halakhic interpretations of Jewish identity have been challenged.

Do something for community, start writing something like a “Bible” as above with a detail of DO’s and Don’ts to be Jat.

You said that love is an imported thing from the west. Dear brother, Love is the backbone or prerequisite of a successful marriage and if it’s already there, what is the harm. Yes but you have to make sure that its love and not an infatuation. And if it’s a thing of past then are you and me came in this world due to “Lust and not Love”.

Regarding Panchayati elections as true democratic, participate in one and see it yourself. If you think that Panchayat was justified in that one case then how come that couple get relief from the High court. Now don’t say that there has to be only Jats as the judges to deal with such cases.

Kharub bhai, we are not living in a primitive society where the decisions made by “Panchayat” which effects the personal life of a Jat individual goes unnoticed. They are subjected to evaluation by the society (not the Jat society, alone) and if all of us keep a mindset as you are portraying then time is not far ‘WHEN WE WILL BE LABELLED LIKE A PRIMITIVE TRIBE’.

Another answer I want from you what is your decision on the so called ‘honor killings’ of young lovers as reported in various parts of UP, some time ago. I think you will also justify that saying that

“Yes the decisions might seem unfair and irrational from a personal angle, they are very impotant form the social perspective as they set the future trends.

My view: - YES people doing it are really IMPOTANT

Regarding your example of driving and alchohal I think that decision regarding marrying and spending your life is entirely different from driving a car.

Jahan par apko koi cheej explain nahi karni aaye wahan par Westernisation or modernization ka thappa laga do Simple hai naa, Yah kisi bhi society ka example chep do jaisi ki hum logo ki to koi individuality hi nahi hai, Bhai ji aisi bhi socity hai jo polygamy ko support karti hai , inka matlab yeh nahi ki unka example lekar kal ko hum bhi shuru ho jaye.

Ab aa jao “Jat thing” par. Aap ne aajtak Jato ke upliftment ke liye kya groundwork kiya hai batane ka kasht karenge kya? Priti mam or bahut se log jo apke hisab se Jat nahi hai ya jinke bachche aadhe Jat hai who bahut kuch kar rahe hai Ground work par, aap apna bataye?


Ab main bhi wahi kar raha hu jo aap log karte ho, sab kuch keh kar 2/4 smily fek do……………………………….
My discussion is purely for scholarly and academic reasons.

[downtoearth]

rathi bhai saab,, ttoottaallyy agreeeed.........

[ratheetheraist]

jo rathee bhai saab ki arr rupi bhai ki waa ee meri bhi bhee.. katti bhinn ki bhinn..!!

[ritu]

er jo dostt ki va meri kati bhinn ki bhinn:cool:
jo rathee bhai saab ki arr rupi bhai ki waa ee meri bhi bhee.. katti bhinn ki bhinn..!!

[rajeshrathee]

Thank you Ritu ji, Rupi and Vicky bhai.:D :D

1 dost or 2 bhaiyon ne ha main ha kah di. Meri taraf se matter end. No further discussion on the topic.

Dear Kharub don't take anything on yourself, I have written whatever came to my mind at that particular time. I respect your views and we need youngsters like you on Jatland.

[kharub]

[QUOTE=rajeshrathee;127860]Kharub bhai ji

Ram Ram

Mere bhai, aap konse jamane ki baatein kar rahe ho. Chalo let me try to answer you stuff.

To be a human is first thing to me and to be a Jat is a secondary thing.

Undoubtedly we all belong to the human race ..... so the only decision that has to be made is ho important is your Jat identity to you ..... for me it is the foremost thing ......

First tell me, Are you married or not? If you are not then you don’t know anything about love and marriage and have no right to talk of something you don’t have any knowledge?

Rathee Bhai Sahab, I am too young to be married ... and one does not have to be married to know what love is .... now i do not want to go in the specifics of love .. its too big a topic in itself

You said that love is an imported thing from the west. Dear brother, Love is the backbone or prerequisite of a successful marriage and if it’s already there, what is the harm. Yes but you have to make sure that its love and not an infatuation. And if it’s a thing of past then are you and me came in this world due to “Lust and not Love”.

Bhai Sahab I never said love is an imported feeling ...... the ever rising Individualism definately is

Regarding Panchayati elections as true democratic, participate in one and see it yourself. If you think that Panchayat was justified in that one case then how come that couple get relief from the High court. Now don’t say that there has to be only Jats as the judges to deal with such cases.

The panchayat was right in that decision too .... from a human and compassionate point of view the shoudl have let them be ... but justice and rules need to be enforced and thus panchayati decision though harsh was justified. Just as I will not feel sorry for a pedophile to be hanged

Kharub bhai, we are not living in a primitive society where the decisions made by “Panchayat” which effects the personal life of a Jat individual goes unnoticed. They are subjected to evaluation by the society (not the Jat society, alone) and if all of us keep a mindset as you are portraying then time is not far ‘WHEN WE WILL BE LABELLED LIKE A PRIMITIVE TRIBE’.

Following customs and traditions is not primitive .... it is called being true to yourself and your origins ....... So what do you propose we do away with our customs and traditions and embrace the western individualism .. where every body lives for themselves and kids have to pay rent to their owm parents and otherwise have to find a new place to live - this is what this individualism will bring us . You are proposing we have the best of everything Jat tarditions when they suit us and individualism when they dont work our way.

A society has its code and rules for survival like any organisation and with out those rules and guidelines everything will just fall apart ....... You might label my views whatever you want ... "Primitive" , "Barbaric", "Stone-Age" .... but I truly believe in them and I am not asking anybody else to embrace them ...

Another answer I want from you what is your decision on the so called ‘honor killings’ of young lovers as reported in various parts of UP, some time ago. I think you will also justify that saying that

Jats dont honour kill ....... we outcast people ..... outcasting people is fair and justified ....

Regarding your example of driving and alchohal I think that decision regarding marrying and spending your life is entirely different from driving a car.

I was not comparing drink driving & marriage. I was comparing breaking away with social customs and violating a law ....... both must have consequences if order has to maintained ....... otherwise society will turn into a do what you want jungle

Jahan par apko koi cheej explain nahi karni aaye wahan par Westernisation or modernization ka thappa laga do Simple hai naa, Yah kisi bhi society ka example chep do jaisi ki hum logo ki to koi individuality hi nahi hai, Bhai ji aisi bhi socity hai jo polygamy ko support karti hai , inka matlab yeh nahi ki unka example lekar kal ko hum bhi shuru ho jaye.


I did not say we must do this because the western society does it ... I said we shoudl not do what is against our traditions. Social customs and rules have been the very heart of Jat society and this is why we have the panchayati system

Ab aa jao “Jat thing” par. Aap ne aajtak Jato ke upliftment ke liye kya groundwork kiya hai batane ka kasht karenge kya? Priti mam or bahut se log jo apke hisab se Jat nahi hai ya jinke bachche aadhe Jat hai who bahut kuch kar rahe hai Ground work par, aap apna bataye?

Dont misquote me Bhai Sahab, I catagorically said that Priti Ji is as Jat as me or anybody else on .. please read my post again. I have no authority or right to question any other Jat for their Jatness.

I personally have done nothing for my community as yet, but my family has contributed a lot. My mother has dedicated all her professional life to Jat educational Institutions and organising Jat (haryanvi) Cultural events, she is presently the Principal of a noted Jat Girls College. My father has also dedicated a major pat of his life to Jat educational institutions and my grandfather is a noted social-worker and an office holder of Jat Sabha Hissar.

[kharub]

Thank you Ritu ji, Rupi and Vicky bhai.:D :D

1 dost or 2 bhaiyon ne ha main ha kah di. Meri taraf se matter end. No further discussion on the topic.

Dear Kharub don't take anything on yourself, I have written whatever came to my mind at that particular time. I respect your views and we need youngsters like you on Jatland.

Bhai Sahab ..... we are just having a discussion .... however primitive I maybe .. I know to respect other peoples opinion .. so no offence taken

[rajeshrathee]

Bhai Sahab ..... we are just having a discussion .... .. I know to respect other peoples opinion .. so no offence taken

That should be the spirit Kharub bhai, I like it

[kharub]

[QUOTE=rajeshrathee;127855]Dear all
If a Jat girl marries outside caste then does her so called 'Jat blood" is changed overnite, NO. She was a Jat and she remains a Jat. Its like once DND Sir explained on "humour" section that anything which contained a rural language(Jaatu bhasha) is a Jat Joke.

Jat blood never changes ........ a Jat is born a Jat and dies one (please read my post again) .... any not everything Haryanvi is Jat ... haryanvi is also Chamar and pandit and Dhanak and doom ...

What Priti is doing to Jat community even after marrying into a non jat family is an eye opener for everyone (Jan Jagriti Stuff). Hats off to you Priti and your family, including your husband.

I am sure Priti's Husband is a very accomplished fellow and an exceptional human being and that why she got married to him and they are doing great work ....... nobody ever questioned her Jat identity or her husbands capability .... you need to go through my posts again

And to the so called "Naye-2 Musalman" of Jatlands, who are doing nothing then reciting "allah-2", its very easy to point out a finger at oneself but you forget that by doing it three of your own fingers are pointing at youself.

I did not point finger at anybody .. I just stated my views

You have no right to decide about Jatism, and don't personalise your thoughts and don't think that you are the only one of saviour of Jats.

I never claimed that I did ....... if you dont agree with my views you dont have to ... you dont have to go on making false claims ...
Now do I even have a right of opinion or I cannot have an opinion too .. just because you do not agree with me
[QUOTE]

[kharub]

There are other definitions of ethnicity too....including 'affiliation', 'porous boundaries', 'set of values' and 'traditions'...

In our context these other definitions do not fit ...

Also, what is not mentioned in your definitions is whether the ancestry or race counts only as paternal...

Because of the family and social structure in place yes it does .. if we were Jews the mothers heritage would count .. but in our case thats the way it is .. i am not saying it is the ideal way .. but that is the way

Also, tell me why a person with a jat father (and mother from other community) be counted as a 'full-jat' and only a 'half-jat' in case of a jat mother? :confused: ...I know i'm asking an obvious question...but its something to think about...

Because 1. He will have a Jat family name .... this is how people get identified in the society

2. The family structure in our society is as such that he/she will be brought up and will have more contact with the fathers side of the family and thus he/she will have more knowledge of Jat culture & values ...

3. This is the way our society works fathers heritage count more ........ I cannot do anything about it

I have a question...if jats are an ethnic group....what is their caste? and if somebody marries outside the community, is it inter-ethnic or inter-caste?

This caste system is a Hindu system, invention of the Brahmins ... Jats have existed long before the cast system and outside this system as well ... In Iran, Balouchistan, Sindh etc ......... Dont confuse Jats as a caste ..... its a race , an ethnic group ......... read Jat history section for further detailed info

Also, the question of conflict....i find it similar to the discussion on whether you are no longer indian if you become a citizen of any other country....even the governments are recognizing dual citizenship:) ....


Citizenship can be changed ethicity not, Afro-Americans are African race but American Citizens, their race is black , same for Indians ........ so do not mix being Indian with being Jat. Just as Will Smith will always belong to the Black race whether he is American or British or Angolan ..... similarly a Jat will always be a Jat , this identity is neither optional nor changable ......... it come with the blood ........ One is born a Jat and one dies one

[rajeshrathee]

[QUOTE=rajeshrathee;127855]Dear all
If a Jat girl marries outside caste then does her so called 'Jat blood" is changed overnite, NO. She was a Jat and she remains a Jat. Its like once DND Sir explained on "humour" section that anything which contained a rural language(Jaatu bhasha) is a Jat Joke.

Jat blood never changes ........ a Jat is born a Jat and dies one (please read my post again) .... any not everything Haryanvi is Jat ... haryanvi is also Chamar and pandit and Dhanak and doom ...

I said Jaatu bhasha, where I said Haryanavi?

What Priti is doing to Jat community even after marrying into a non jat family is an eye opener for everyone (Jan Jagriti Stuff). Hats off to you Priti and your family, including your husband.

I am sure Priti's Humband is a very accomplished fellow and an exceptional human being and that whay she got married to him and they are doing great work ....... nobody ever questioned her Jat identity or her husbands capability .... you need to go through my posts again

That was for those who were telling her that she should not be on Jatland

And to the so called "Naye-2 Musalman" of Jatlands, who are doing nothing then reciting "allah-2", its very easy to point out a finger at oneself but you forget that by doing it three of your own fingers are pointing at youself.

I did not point finger at anybody .. I just stated my views

You have no right to decide about Jatism, and don't personalise your thoughts and don't think that you are the only one of saviour of Jats.

I never claimed that I did ....... if you dont agree with my views you dont have to ... you dont have to go on making false claims ...
Now do I even have a right of opinion or I cannot have an opinion too .. just because you do not agree with me
[QUOTE]

same thing from my side

[kharub]

Just a few more things about the contribution of my family to the community - My grand father has personally organised the wedding of three father-less Jat girls ...... and more than 20 other such weddings for father-less or poor Jat girls along with his Jat Sabha Hissar co-members in the last twenty or so years that he has been retired and actively dedicated to social service ..........

He currently has two orphan Jat boys under his care for further education .. he bears all their educational and other expenses ....

His Name is Ch. H.R Kadyan ......... you can validate the facts for yourself ...

[kharub]

What is Jaatu Bhasa ........ i did not know any such language existed (it might be my ignorance)

I though it was Haryanvi (a dialect of Hindi spoken in Most of Hayana), Brij, rajasthani or Punjabi that most Jats speak ......... I did not know that anything like a Jaatu Bhasha existed ..........

How is the Jaatu Bhasa different for a Sunars, Lohars, Dooms or Chamars Haryanvi ??

[rajeshrathee]

What is Jaatu Bhasa ........ i did not know any such language existed (it might be my ignorance)

I though it was Haryanvi (a dialect of Hindi spoken in Most of Hayana), Brij, rajasthani or Punjabi that most Jats speak ......... I did not know that anything like a Jaatu Bhasha existed ..........

How is the Jaatu Bhasa different for a Sunars, Lohars, Dooms or Chamars Haryanvi ??

A language use by a Jat is Jaatu bhasha.

[priti]

Hello People

Thanks for showing your support Rajesh...we are on the same page...

Vishvajeet, i appreciate your enthusiasm and ideology for the jat community...as you say one is born and jat and will die a jat...I just have a slight problem with you mixing up things...marrying by one's own choice does not mean that person is individualistic...it does not indicate that they do not have family values and have discarded all traditions. It does not mean westernization!! Marrying by choice is not a result of globalization too!!

You must have the best of interests of jat community at heart, what is not healthy in your arguments is the 'labeling' you do with your arguments of people who have married outside with support of many other members here...

Hopefully, the 'half jat' people would be raised to be mature enough to make their own decisions regarding 'what they would like to be'...and hopefully the community would have 'a half glass full' approach and be inclusive enough not to lose its extended network :D .

It would be good to remember that traditions are made by humans and for humans, humans are not made for traditions....

It would be really appreciated not to have a discussion focused on any one individual...

Best wishes to all
Priti

[rajeshrathee]

Just a few more things about the contribution of my family to the community - My grand father has personally organised the wedding of three father-less Jat girls ...... and more than 20 other such weddings for father-less or poor Jat girls along with his Jat Sabha Hissar co-members in the last twenty or so years that he has been retired and actively dedicated to social service ..........

He currently has two orphan Jat boys under his care for further education .. he bears all their educational and other expenses ....

His Name is Ch. H.R Kadyan ......... you can validate the facts for yourself ...

That is so nice of your elders. Salute to them.

Now if everyone start filling up details of deed done by their elders all the space on the Jatland will be utilised. But Sir the question was raise about you?

[kharub]

That is so nice of your elders. Salute to them.

Now if everyone start filling up details of deed done by their elders all the space on the Jatland will be utilised. But Sir the question was raise about you?

I just stated those things because you were questioning my commitment in real to the community ....... unless previously I have never boasted of any such thing and i have been a member of this site for roughly 5 years

Presently my elders are able and contributing greatly to the community and I am still going through my education and setting my feet firm on the ground in terms of my career ....... so I have no personal contribution to list .... but I think my family's contribution does give me a right to claim some good from it

[ritu]

kharub please bura mat maniyo .as i can see from ur views that u r going to marry a jatni only.tera bahay t jab hoga hoga.par man apni os bebe p ebe t daya aan lag gayi h.i am just kidding.
any ways good to see ur spirits and love for the community.

I just stated those things because you were questioning my commitment in real to the community ....... unless previously I have never boasted of any such thing and i have been a member of this site for roughly 5 years

Presently my elders are able and contributing greatly to the community and I am still going through my education and setting my feet firm on the ground in terms of my career ....... so I have no personal contribution to list .... but I think my family's contribution does give me a right to claim some good from it

[dev]

Dont get me wrong Vishwajeet, sorry for being sarcastic. But its really frustrating to read so many misgivings by people when they themselves haven't experienced it. When they claim that love marriages are less successful and such people change after getting married, they are selfish, living nightmares (ok, i'm exaggerating a little) and so on and so forth...where are the statistics to prove that this is the case, in my opinion, such cases get highlighted because they are love marriages in the first place (dialogues like 'aur karlo punjaban te byah'). And to be honest people who are strong enough to marry out of their own choice are also likely to stronger not to stay in bad marriages.

I have an intercaste marriage and I come from a very conventional jat family...and believe me, it has been nothing but a pleasure for me and for my parents and none of my relatives (except the people who crib over falling rain) have changed their attitudes because they understand that its my choice and they care for me as much as I do for them. I admit you have go that extra mile to get everyone on side but that much you can do for having a life partner you want...

I'm also not saying that love marriages are the best option, i agree it can definitely give you a lot of headache is not properly thought out. As I said before in this thread, if you have total conviction in one person then go ahead otherwise leave it to your parents.

My point is that having an inclusive approach does not mean you have to change entirely and that you do not remain a jat (which i understood from your last post). All my family, relatives (both sides), friends know me as a proud jat woman and having a partner from another community does not change that, I'm the ambassador of my community and I do not want to let it down by having a exclusionary approach. It is a part of my identity, attitude and language and it'll be an inheritance to our children.

This is just to give people the other side of the story...marriage is a very personal decision.

As for the macro level problem of sex ratio...this is an outcome of bad things being done in the past and present...there will be consequences...and tying the victim (the female) again in the shackles (as you suggested in a post that the guys can marry anybody of superior race they want but jat girls should only marry in the community because many of them have been killed in infancy thus less in number) to provide a solution to a crime that has been committed against her...its like punishing her all over again for being less in number...lol...now thats not fair...is it?


Well Said
Only a real jatni can have such a courage to say the truth

Bravo
If at all it matters i wanna say that i am into an intercaste marriage and have been living with my parents for the past ten years. My kids are very comfortable when my parents speak to them in pure haryanvi and i have never heard my sife saying"BETA PLEASE TALK IN ENGLISH ", or "Haryanvi mein baat mat karo".
These are the sentences i have often heard in many many houses where the arranged marriages between the so called educated jats and jatnis have been solemnised.

I would reqest all the jatlanders not to take it otherwise but most of the so called messiahs of the Jat society are the ones whose kids or grandkids are ones who leave apart speaking are not able to understand our language.

so guys please ,it can be a personal matter if somebody marries out of caste and we should not be judgemantal about their loyalty towards their parents or the community.

with advnce apoligies if i have offended somebody.
dev.

[balrajsejwal]

respected members ,ram ram
the thread is of about "what about intercast marriage" some jaat brother"s and sisters are in favour of intercast marriage and some are not and they have their own reasons behind that.no issue,but there are some people who belives in groupism and starts thinking that they are the godfather and when they see some one has diff point of view ,they starts crying which sees in their post when they starts raising questions which are not related to the topic etc or intensionally makes fun of the other"s post.
am against of intercast marriage and it"s only my point of view and i have my own reasons for that, as for me am jaat ,am belongs to a jamindaar family anything against jaat and my country matters me a lot.

[navingulia]

Great Priti, for calling a stick a stick a spade a spade

Let me put a few words without the intention to hurt, just as i feel it

1. I am as proud of being a Jat as can be but i will say "Dont be only a Jat, grow up, grow beyond that, evolve"

2. I cant be a Jat at the cost of hurting the sentiments of members of other communities. They are as much my brothers as you all are.

3. If being a Jat means being disrespectful to other communities or anyone, please dont call me a Jat.

4. Let us make Jat community be known for something better than biceps.

5. Culture and traditions? If we continued to believe in stone age traditions we would still be living in stone age. We, as humans, have to evolve.

Let JAT have a bigger meaning.

[dev]

well said Gulia Saab
Jat does not mean that we should be disrespectful to other communities.
Jat is the person with Lion Heart and who is loved and loves every human being(only if one is HUMAN enough)
Baki to jhooti marror hai sir.

Although I seldomly reply to posts , i M CONTENDED BY READING THE PRESTIGIOUS VIEWS OF OUR JATLANDER BHAI AND BEHENS AND FRIENDS,
But this issue is realy a hot one and needs be dealt with carefully, I was tempted to write.
I would like our elders and experienced folks at the Jatland to react and respond in this matter.

But being proud of Jat is a nice thing but it does not give me any right to look down others.

[devdagar]

Hi All,
1.I was stoping myself from long time..but I could not..anyway since I am here I will ask everyone to stop this thread. This topic was discussed so many times and everytime its end up in fighting or dividing us.

I have my own opinion...but I will keep it to myself .

chill guys its new yr, lets do something better.
Please please stop this thread.

[kharub]

Naveen Bhai Sahab, though I do not know you personally, the opinion I hold of you from this platform is very high and I hold deep respect for you.

I do not think that I have any social contribution to name to date to confront you on social issues. But that does not mean I cannot have an opinion and a right to state one.
So even though I might not be any way near you in terms of accomplishments ..... I guess I still have a right to think and argue



Great Priti, for calling a stick a stick a spade a spade

Let me put a few words without the intention to hurt, just as i feel it

1. I am as proud of being a Jat as can be but i will say "Dont be only a Jat, grow up, grow beyond that, evolve"

Then why are you still stuck with the Jat label ... why dont you move beyond that ... it being a Jat is not significant .. then stop calling yourself a Jat. Just be a Haryanvi or an Indian ... grow out of this backward mould

Does evolving means forgetting the Jat identity ... is evolution and being a Jat at such great odds with each other ...... I did not know the only thing being a Jat meant was being backward and living in the stone age ..... Well then I choose a life of ignorance ... and rather rot way in my cave ... and hunt for food with my stone spears and eat raw meat ...because we have not learned to make a fire as yet

2. I cant be a Jat at the cost of hurting the sentiments of members of other communities. They are as much my brothers as you all are.

Well if being a Jat hurts others then will you stop being a Jat - I tell you what this is exactly a lot of people are waiting for. My two best friends are Arab Muslims, one die-hard reborn Christian .... even if they have a problem with my religious beliefs .. I am not gonna go and change my religion .. however upset it might make them ......... Why do the sentiments of other communities get hurt if you are a Jat ........ why ??

Is being Jat such a bad thing ??

3. If being a Jat means being disrespectful to other communities or anyone, please dont call me a Jat.

Who said being a Jat means dis-respectful to other communities .. who said that ..... and why do you think being a Jat is disrespectful to other communities.

My dad's best friends is Punjabi, Bishnoi, Yadav, A baniya from my village and a sunar, but he is a Jat and married a Jatni .... so is he being disrespectful to them ........ Maybe its the inferiority complex .. that being a Jat means bad or disrespecting others ......... following ones customs does not mean disrespecting others ......... Have you disrespected Americans by marrying an Indian women - whatever cast she might be ?? ........ Cmmon it does not make sense ...

4. Let us make Jat community be known for something better than biceps.

Well I dont know where you live ... but Jat community has achieved much more than biceps ... DLF ... Seth Chajju Ram, Sindhu Family - Rohtak and there are many such .... just see how many IITans we have here & doctors and other highly distinguished professionals ... which time are you talking about ... a lot have Jats have moved away form that a long time ago ... yes some are still doing it .... but its better than begging

5. Culture and traditions? If we continued to believe in stone age traditions we would still be living in stone age. We, as humans, have to evolve.

Does evolving mean Inter-Ethnic (inter-caste) marriage only .. because you are into one .... I am sorry one can still evolve and keep traditions .... trust me I do not go out hunting with stone spears for food and wear animal skins ... and nor do my family ...

Let JAT have a bigger meaning.

If Jats will cease to exist .. as what you are proposing then we wont need a meaning .... because if somethng does not exist .. it does not need to be defined
What meaning will you give if inter-caste marriages will result in Jats not being Jats

[kharub]

Well Said

If at all it matters
It does matter every community members views matter .. however diverse they might be ...

i wanna say that i am into an intercaste marriage and have been living with my parents for the past ten years. My kids are very comfortable when my parents speak to them in pure haryanvi and i have never heard my sife saying"BETA PLEASE TALK IN ENGLISH ", or "Haryanvi mein baat mat karo".
These are the sentences i have often heard in many many houses where the arranged marriages between the so called educated jats and jatnis have been solemnised.

You will obviously have a problem with any opposition to inter-cast marriage as you are into one yourself - its natural.

Now in your case if thing are how you have put them out to be, then your marriage in contemporary context is perfectly fine. There are not enough girls in our community and we need to look outside.

So a Jat male marrying outside is okay, but such marriages come with great responsibilities ... the responsibility to ensure that the future generations do not have a split identity and they identify themselves as Jats only.

A Jat male who is in an intercast marriage, his kids will obviously have a Jat surname (unless ofcouse he is Jewish now) ... so if extra effort is made to ensure that the kids know Jat cultute & traditions .. and feel and identify themselves as Jats then all is good.

It is not hard ... just need a little concious effort is needed as the kids will grow up in a Jat house hold (the father and grandparents being Jat - it will be a Jat majority household and Jat ways will hold propority)

In case of a Jat female marrying outside it will be just opposite (dont blame me .. thats the social set-up)

(I would like to clarify I am no authority to give certificates on peoples Jathood ... The comments herein are only my views, I am in no way intending or trying to profess a code of conduct for Jats. Please fell free to disagree, dispute or rubbish my views)

I would reqest all the jatlanders not to take it otherwise but most of the so called messiahs of the Jat society are the ones whose kids or grandkids are ones who leave apart speaking are not able to understand our language.

You are so right .. the urban Jats think speaking in Haryanvi has a "backward" tag attached to it ... this is unfortunate and embarassing .. Its about time we started taking pride in our boli, culture, blood and traditions.
.................

so guys please ,it can be a personal matter if somebody marries out of caste and we should not be judgemantal about their loyalty towards their parents or the community.

with advnce apoligies if i have offended somebody.
dev.

I am not being judgemental .... but the truth is the truth .. the future generation of intercast couples cannot outrighly claim to be Jat .. especially if its a Jat girl that marries outside the community ... And its not because i say so .. its just the social set-up we live in ... thats the way things work ..

As for guys .. it is easier to get the family accepted in the Jat fold, if one takes the right steps and the kids have one and only identity .. i.e Jat

[navingulia]

Bhai Vishwajeet, my apologies
You definitely have a right to hold your views, please

[rajeshrathee]

Ek purana kissa yaad aa gaya, ek baar pati or patni main jhagra shuru ho gaya ki who apne bete ko bada hone ke bad kya banayenge. Pati chah raha tha ki bacha Doctor bane jabki patni chah rahi thi ki who bada hokar Advocate, bane. Jhagra itns badh gaya ki dono ko court main pahuchna par gaya. Judge sahib ne dono ki dalil suni or akhir main faisla kiya ki apne bete ko bulayo, usi se puchte hai ki who kya banana chahta hai, to pata chala ki bacha abhi paida nahi hua hai.

Bhai hum log to kuch karne ke bad us barein main apne vichar prakat kar rahe hai or aap KHAMKHWAH?

Ek kahawat or bhi yaad aayi ki “bhais” ke agee been bajane ka koi fayda nahi.

Ab isi thread ko lelo. Hona yeh chahiye tha ki who log jinhone Inter-caste marriage ki hai, unke opinion liye jatein ki unka kaisa experience raha hai, koi sawal uthta to uska jawab manga jata or agar kisika acha experience nahi raha to uska discussion causes etc. hota par hua yun ki kuch chotte bhai, jinka apna kuch personal experience to nahi raha hai par jo apni baat par arna jante hai ya har bade ki baat ko unjustify karma chahte hai , ke liye kuch point :-

1. Neither me, Dev Sir, Navin Bhai or Priti has anywhere on this thread has told you people to go for “Inter-caste Marriage”. All is said is that we just shared our good experiences because we had some commitment with an individual and we kept that.

2. Rahi hamare balko ke baat ki andhe kano ki jazro main who adhe Jat rahe ya Pure Jat(Lagta hai bhai ne abhi-2 Omkara dekhi hai), to bhai mhare balak hai, hum bhugat lenge unhe, tum chinta mat karo. We don’t need tutoring from you as how to raise them but yes, they are being raised perfectly and the first thing we taught them is that “Not to unnecessarily argue with elders” I think this is the first thing taught in Jat culture. I don’t know about others but for me if someone like respective Dev Sir gave his idea as contrary to mine idea then it will be “the End” for me, no more argument because he is elder to me and has more experience then me in life.

3. Learn something from Naveen Gulia bhai how decently he accepted your version, not like you and me that he quoted all you have said and start writing comments on all.

4. Oh Jato ke massiaah ure West main beth kar kya kar raha hai , teri jaroorat harre se Jato main and to mind you I think only 1% of jats are having accesss to Jatland so don’t waste your energy here, try to do something at the ground level as Gulia bhai and his team is doing.

Now its open to everyone to see and decide as who is wrong and who is right.

[raj_rathee]

Oh Man! Isse-2 thread padh ke sar paatan ho ja sae. Woh-he raagad
baar-2, aur koi sensible dang tae discussion koni karta (like Rajesh pointed
out).

In my public opinion:
At Micro Level: Do what personally suits you. Jit soot baith ja, ude danda
gaad do (no pun intended).

At Macro Level: It is a good idea to marry within the community.That
is a good guiding principle, but should not override personal circumstance.

In my Private Opinion:
I have always preferred the concept of a harem. Yeh Raja/Mahrajae
types daaki thaath lege. Jats are shers without crowns but we still
should strive for the noble lifestyle. And in such a setup, the head "Sherni"
would be Jatni, and the other ladies in the harem could be "assorted" picks.
This way Kharb types bhi khush, "the maadurn" types bhi khush, aur
hum tae "khush he khush" ;) :cool:

[rajeshrathee]

Oh Man! Isse-2 thread padh ke sar paatan ho ja sae. Woh-he raagad
baar-2, aur koi sensible dang tae discussion koni karta (like Rajesh pointed
out).

In my public opinion:
At Micro Level: Do what personally suits you. Jit soot baith ja, ude danda
gaad do (no pun intended).

At Macro Level: It is a good idea to marry within the community.That
is a good guiding principle, but should not override personal circumstance.

In my Private Opinion:
I have always preferred the concept of a harem. Yeh Raja/Mahrajae
types daaki thaath lege. Jats are shers without crowns but we still
should strive for the noble lifestyle. And in such a setup, the head "Sherni"
would be Jatni, and the other ladies in the harem could be "assorted" picks.
This way Kharb types bhi khush, "the maadurn" types bhi khush, aur
hum tae "khush he khush" ;) :cool:

Kat diya Rog, kati jarr se:p

[kharub]

kharub please bura mat maniyo .as i can see from ur views that u r going to marry a jatni only.tera bahay t jab hoga hoga.par man apni os bebe p ebe t daya aan lag gayi h.i am just kidding.
any ways good to see ur spirits and love for the community.


Ritu Ji ... in light of the skewed sex ratio in our quam ..... nu lage hai aak Jatni ke intzaar mein kade byah e na hove ..... Randa e rahna pad ja ... or phir koi aa bhi gayi to puri khushamad rakhni padegi ... kade bhaaj ja na ... :D :D :D

[vkaschaudhary]

intercaste marriage....!

depends on individual life style...time ,situation....and various factor matters.

so one cannot say he/she will preffer intercaste marriage....:cool:

[kharub]

Bhai hum log to kuch karne ke bad us barein main apne vichar prakat kar rahe hai or aap KHAMKHWAH?

naa ji aap e she ho ... hum to khamka e ha

Ek kahawat or bhi yaad aayi ki “bhais” ke agee been bajane ka koi fayda nahi.

Ab Bhagwan ne bhais bana diya to kya kare bhai sahab ... ab to isi roop me jina padega


Ab isi thread ko lelo. Hona yeh chahiye tha ki who log jinhone Inter-caste marriage ki hai, unke opinion liye jatein ki unka kaisa experience raha hai, koi sawal uthta to uska jawab manga jata or agar kisika acha experience nahi raha to uska discussion causes etc. hota par hua yun ki kuch chotte bhai, jinka apna kuch personal experience to nahi raha hai par jo apni baat par arna jante hai ya har bade ki baat ko unjustify karma chahte hai , ke liye kuch point :-

1. Neither me, Dev Sir, Navin Bhai or Priti has anywhere on this thread has told you people to go for “Inter-caste Marriage”. All is said is that we just shared our good experiences because we had some commitment with an individual and we kept that.

2. Rahi hamare balko ke baat ki andhe kano ki jazro main who adhe Jat rahe ya Pure Jat(Lagta hai bhai ne abhi-2 Omkara dekhi hai),

Bhai sahab I posted same comments in a similar discussion about two years ago in a similar discussion ... I might not be as smart as you .. but I am intellectually no so challenged as well that i have to rely on "Omkara" and "Bollywood" for my beliefs ......... I though I had formed a better impression than that

to bhai mhare balak hai, hum bhugat lenge unhe, tum chinta mat karo. We don’t need tutoring from you as how to raise them but yes, they are being raised perfectly

Nobody offered you any parenting advice ..... I clearly stated that ........ and if you still dont get it ... feel free to interpret it the way you want .... I know what I meant .. and I still stand firm ... and I was taking in terms of a community .. and your focus now is yourself ...

and the first thing we taught them is that “Not to unnecessarily argue with elders” I think this is the first thing taught in Jat culture. I don’t know about others but for me if someone like respective Dev Sir gave his idea as contrary to mine idea then it will be “the End” for me, no more argument because he is elder to me and has more experience then me in life.

Dev Ji is highly respected .... and giving a logical argument is never offensive ... Panchayat was also consisted of elders .. why did not take their decision without complaining ... why are you bitching about the panchayati decision in other cases ... very good philosophy .. what suits you needs to be followed .. what does not needs to be dropped .... Well my parents must have done a terrible job in raising me up ..... I feel so sorry for myself for such bad manners

3. Learn something from Naveen Gulia bhai how decently he accepted your version, not like you and me that he quoted all you have said and start writing comments on all.

I know he did ... He is a known gentleman ... and maybe he knows what he believes in and does not want to argue about it ... his mind is set and firm ... i am still learning and have no problem in debating - stating my views and findind out other people's views as well ........

4. Oh Jato ke massiaah ure West main beth kar kya kar raha hai , teri jaroorat harre se Jato main and to mind you I think only 1% of jats are having accesss to Jatland so don’t waste your energy here, try to do something at the ground level as Gulia bhai and his team is doing.

Now why are you making it personal ......... what is this massiaah rubbish ??
Come if we have to discuss, lets keep it sensible ... othwerwise lets withdraw ... and not start mud slanging

Now its open to everyone to see and decide as who is wrong and who is right.

Navin Gulia is high accomplished .... noble soul, dedicated to community service

Bhia sahab ........ tell what have you done so great that you keep talking about ground work and reality ........ tell me please ........ I woudl like to seek some inspiration .. what great deed did you do for teh community by the age of 24 (I am 24) that you keep telling me what I need to do to serve my community ........ my whole family is doing it ........ and so I think I presently have time on my hands to do a bit for myself .................

[kharub]

In my public opinion:
At Micro Level: Do what personally suits you. Jit soot baith ja, ude danda
gaad do (no pun intended).

At Macro Level: It is a good idea to marry within the community.That
is a good guiding principle, but should not override personal circumstance.

Thats right ...... some people macro plan and some micro plan ........ I macro plan and strategise ...... so thats me ........ nothing wrong with micro planners .... just different paradigms


In my Private Opinion:
I have always preferred the concept of a harem. Yeh Raja/Mahrajae
types daaki thaath lege. Jats are shers without crowns but we still
should strive for the noble lifestyle. And in such a setup, the head "Sherni"
would be Jatni, and the other ladies in the harem could be "assorted" picks.
This way Kharb types bhi khush, "the maadurn" types bhi khush, aur
hum tae "khush he khush" ;) :cool:

Harem legally allowed ho ja ... to rog sa e kat ja ga ...... phir to koi jhanjhat hi nahin .. saare kush ..........

Kharb types bhi khush, "the maadurn"
Bhai Sahab kharub itna Talibani bhi nahin hai .......

[raj_rathee]

Harem legally allowed ho ja ... to rog sa e kat ja ga ...... phir to koi jhanjhat hi nahin .. saare kush ..........


Pehli baat, Mahari panchayat allow kar de tae legal he legal sae (Jaton
ki Panchayat ki Jaton ki Jaroorat samanj sakti hai).

Dusri baat: I don't think saare khush honge...Punjabi bhai log
tae ghane dhuki ho jaange... ;) :D :eek:

[vijay]

Dusri baat: I don't think saare khush honge...Punjabi bhai log
tae ghane dhuki ho jaange... ;) :D :eek:

Who cares ! Do you ?

[rajeshrathee]

Dear Vishawjeet Kharab/ Vishawjeet Kadyan or Vishawjeet Jaat
Heere are the answers in your style


Bhai hum log to kuch karne ke bad us barein main apne vichar prakat kar rahe hai or aap KHAMKHWAH?

naa ji aap e she ho ... hum to khamka e ha

Chako koi sachai to accept kari

Ek kahawat or bhi yaad aayi ki “bhais” ke agee been bajane ka koi fayda nahi.

Ab Bhagwan ne bhais bana diya to kya kare bhai sahab ... ab to isi roop me jina padega

Bhai ek example or diya tha us baarein main na kuch kilha apne?

Ab isi thread ko lelo. Hona yeh chahiye tha ki who log jinhone Inter-caste marriage ki hai, unke opinion liye jatein ki unka kaisa experience raha hai, koi sawal uthta to uska jawab manga jata or agar kisika acha experience nahi raha to uska discussion causes etc. hota par hua yun ki kuch chotte bhai, jinka apna kuch personal experience to nahi raha hai par jo apni baat par arna jante hai ya har bade ki baat ko unjustify karma chahte hai , ke liye kuch point :-

1. Neither me, Dev Sir, Navin Bhai or Priti has anywhere on this thread has told you people to go for “Inter-caste Marriage”. All is said is that we just shared our good experiences because we had some commitment with an individual and we kept that.

2. Rahi hamare balko ke baat ki andhe kano ki jazro main who adhe Jat rahe ya Pure Jat(Lagta hai bhai ne abhi-2 Omkara dekhi hai),

Bhai sahab I posted same comments in a similar discussion about two years ago in a similar discussion ... I might not be as smart as you .. but I am intellectually no so challenged as well that i have to rely on "Omkara" and "Bollywood" for my beliefs ......... I though I had formed a better impression than that

You write well, no doubt about that but you need to polish the way you put in your thoughts. The basic thing behind all that we are arguing is not personal but to just let you understand that learn to respect others view also. There is a difference when you put your thoughts in a separate post and when you quote someone post and write your comments where you can put in something and not to write where you don’t have anything to say. That way it becomes personal. Secondly as I suggested you earlier that doesn’t try to force others to accept your version. Put them on site and then let others visualize/interpret it.

Otherwise you have a JAT at both end and this will continue for ever?

to bhai mhare balak hai, hum bhugat lenge unhe, tum chinta mat karo. We don’t need tutoring from you as how to raise them but yes, they are being raised perfectly

Nobody offered you any parenting advice ..... I clearly stated that ........ and if you still dont get it ... feel free to interpret it the way you want .... I know what I meant .. and I still stand firm ... and I was taking in terms of a community .. and your focus now is yourself ...

I think it was you who said that the children after such marriages will be half Jat .And how come you become the community spoke-person?

and the first thing we taught them is that “Not to unnecessarily argue with elders” I think this is the first thing taught in Jat culture. I don’t know about others but for me if someone like respective Dev Sir gave his idea as contrary to mine idea then it will be “the End” for me, no more argument because he is elder to me and has more experience then me in life.

Dev Ji is highly respected .... and giving a logical argument is never offensive ... Panchayat was also consisted of elders .. why did not take their decision without complaining ... why are you bitching about the panchayati decision in other cases ... very good philosophy .. what suits you needs to be followed .. what does not needs to be dropped .... Well my parents must have done a terrible job in raising me up ..... I feel so sorry for myself for such bad manners

You again interpret it wrong. I said there is a need for educated persons in panchayat, not the old uneducated one, who don’t know anything about outside world then their village or Khap. Dev sir jaise log panchayat main ho jaye to aise decision hi na ho mere bhai.

3. Learn something from Naveen Gulia bhai how decently he accepted your version, not like you and me that he quoted all you have said and start writing comments on all.

I know he did ... He is a known gentleman ... and maybe he knows what he believes in and does not want to argue about it ... his mind is set and firm ... i am still learning and have no problem in debating - stating my views and findind out other people's views as well ........

It’s not a platform for debate; it’s a platform for knowing each other first so that we have a better sense of brotherhood. This platform is not to pull each other legs.

4. Oh Jato ke massiaah ure West main beth kar kya kar raha hai , teri jaroorat harre se Jato main and to mind you I think only 1% of jats are having accesss to Jatland so don’t waste your energy here, try to do something at the ground level as Gulia bhai and his team is doing.

Now why are you making it personal ......... what is this massiaah rubbish??
Come if we have to discuss, let’s keep it sensible ... othwerwise lets withdraw ... and not start mud slanging

I am again saying that think only 1% of jats are having accesss to Jatland so don’t waste your energy here, try to do something at the ground level as Gulia bhai and his team is doing. So if you are serious about doing something for Jats, do that at ground work why you are wasting your energy at a place where only 1% of Jats interact and most of them don’t reply.

Now its open to everyone to see and decide as who is wrong and who is right.

[downtoearth]

hows jat revolution goin on guys ??? any news ?:):)

[kharub]

hows jat revolution goin on guys ??? any news ?:):)

That thread still exists why dont you go on over there ......... ya bina chutki liye swad hi nahi aata :) :)

[kharub]

Dear Vishawjeet Kharab/ Vishawjeet Kadyan or Vishawjeet Jaat
Heere are the answers in your style

Bhai hum log to kuch karne ke bad us barein main apne vichar prakat kar rahe hai or aap KHAMKHWAH?

naa ji aap e sher ho ... hum to khamka e ha

Chako koi sachai to accept kari

“bhais” ke agee been bajane ka koi fayda nahi.

Now its open to everyone to see and decide as who is wrong and who is right.

I will not get to the lows of personal slandering .... everything I had to say is there already ... and as this discussion is for sure headed in the wrong direction .. as is obvious ... I will withdraw from it .......

You being upset with anybody opposed to inter-cast marriage is natural .... as you are into one yourself ... your personal hurt is justified ...

I was never outrightly opposed to inter-cast marriage .. infact if you read the posts properly you will realise that infact I support inter-cast marriage in certain cases

Thats it from me on this issue ..... even though you went on calling me khamkha and Bhais and all ... I still hold respect for you

I am neither married myself nor did I ever project myself as any authority ..... My views are just the views of a community youth and other people who have contacted me and encouraged to go on with the discussion .. as they themselves do not want to be labelled "backward" ... I have no fear of labels .. as I am sure about myself

I seek a graceful exit and thus choose to withdraw

[monikadahiya]

bhai mere opinion mein te apni community mein shaadi karne se acchi baat aur koi nai. waise bhi jaaton se accha kabhi koi hua hai bhala?? I used to think (when i was a lil childish)..ki yeh community wommunity kya hoti hai, intercaste marriage se koi farak nahi padta.. but now, i am pro intra community marriages. I have many reasons for that but dont want to quote them here as they may offend a few ppl here!! magar bhai jab dil aa jya kisi "ahem" aur pe te jat community te kya bhagwan bhi juda nahi kar sakta do premiyon ko..:D :D !!!

[downtoearth]

That thread still exists why dont you go on over there ......... ya bina chutki liye swad hi nahi aata :) :)
dont take it otherwisw kharub,,im really eager to hear smthing about ur jat revolution....;) uss thread mein to itna joor shoor tey tha,,,fer kimmey baat ey na cheddi,,, suna de kimmey :)

I`ve spent a lot of time thinking about this issue and I`ve tried to keep my personal bias out of the picture. Trust me, its not easy to have an opinion and suggest solutions without your personal bias .........;) ;)

in our community ,marriage is not just the association of 2 individuals,2 families r associated....for some people this might be of no concern, and for some this really is a point of worry! it depends ........
i dont think dat Preservation of identity,,tradition and culture don't have to depend on things such as these.An identity is what you create for yourself.....;)

you all have a good thoughts, but never be too rigid in a view, flexibility is a great thing ....... cheers:) :)

[MKadwa]

bhai mere opinion mein te apni community mein shaadi karne se acchi baat aur koi nai. waise bhi jaaton se accha kabhi koi hua hai bhala?? I used to think (when i was a lil childish)..ki yeh community wommunity kya hoti hai, intercaste marriage se koi farak nahi padta.. but now, i am pro intra community marriages. I have many reasons for that but dont want to quote them here as they may offend a few ppl here!! magar bhai jab dil aa jya kisi "ahem" aur pe te jat community te kya bhagwan bhi juda nahi kar sakta do premiyon ko..:D :D !!!



Ek dum sahi kaha Monika ji aapne, dil ke aagey nahin chalta hai jor kisi ka

achhey achhey dil ke aagey fana ho jate hai.... jab dil dimag par bhari padta hai to.

[gaganrana]

Kae Baat Kahee hai.... :cool: :D :D :D


Ek dum sahi kaha Monika ji aapne, dil ke aagey nahin chalta hai jor kisi ka

achhey achhey dil ke aagey fana ho jate hai.... jab dil dimag par bhari padta hai to.

[cooljat]

Take it easy Jatlanders, take it easy!!!
we're here to discuss not for blowin cyber joots :D

Well, VJ bhai cool it yaar....I know u're quite an enthu jat bhai but bro hold ur horses we're here to unite not to divide I guess :)

My 2 cents :>> Bhai marriage is matter of personal choice and I think
when it comes to luv marriage cast creed or color rarely matters for the couple & u know jab miya bibi raaji to kya karega kaaji but when it comes to arrange marriage leave it on ur parents they'll surely find a better compatible match for you of ur own communitiy :)

but I believe Marriage is big gamble, be it luv or arrange...ur life can be hell or heaven....but I guess Zindgi mein Risk lena hi padta hai ;)

Bhai, agar koi Jat ya Jatni non-jat se shaadi karta hai to bhi apni race ko koi jyada farak nahi padne wala cuz Jat Element in ur genes itself is so strong n dominating that it certainly outclass other counterparts....isliye inke children mein bhi Jat element hi dominating hoga, aur u can't just disguise ki ye bache half-Jat hein!!...I've heaps of example where either jats or jatnis got married to non-Jat indians or even foreigners but still their children are very much Jats & this is matter of pride to them.

So all in all our Jat race will always be dominating & great!!!

Before ending I strongly believe there's nothing more precious then finding a true, uncontional luv...so if its true luv not infatuation, then I'm with who support luv marriages!

over n out!!!


chill! chill! & have fun!


Rock on
Jit

[choudharyneelam]

A serious matter for those where such marriages are not permitted.

...first i tell you about my choice otherwise somebody may try to dig some joke out of it...;)...I'm very much connected to my own community and will never go out of my boundaries....don't want that much free space...as i compare a marriage life just like a college or school life in the way.....a school life is very pleasurable where we have to listen to our elders, have to obey them, fear if they get angry on us, satisfy them with our best efforts, keep them happy by following some rules and principles, live in some restrictions, but with all such things we enjoy those days and find them happiest moments spent....everybody know it better.

....now about college life....very free life it is...everything depends on our choice, no rules and principles to follow, no boundaries for anything, all important thing there is our mood and choice, our own priority first but that life is also enjoyable......but if you ask anybody which days were his/her best days keeping the choice of these two....almost everyone will say for school days...and just similar is an arranged marriage in one's own community....but few will say about college style life...and that is similar to an intercaste love marriage.

Now there are some cases when people don't find any match in their own community then there is nothing wrong to go for other caste.

Marriage is a whole life decision so i feel that parents should let the children also think about it...kyunki jisne jo karna hota hai wo wahi karta hai, chahe uske parents usse kitna bhi rok len.....atleast parents must give chance to their child to show his/her responsibilty, what all he/she had learnt till now.

Finally i would say one thing that what parents do is always correct in every sense, and if incase anything go wrong with any child then whole family is there to support, whether his/her own parents or in-laws. And relations are needed everywhere.

[gaganrana]

Theek kaha Jitu bhai tumnae....

TaKe It EaSy..........:cool: :D :D :D

Take it easy Jatlanders, take it easy!!!
we're here to discuss not for blowin cyber joots :D

Well, VJ bhai cool it yaar....I know u're quite an enthu jat bhai but bro hold ur horses we're here to unite not to divide I guess :)

chill! chill! & have fun!


Rock on
Jit

[choudharysaaab]

Bhaiyon,

Everything is Okay...a lot of exciting discussion is going on here...I could not resist myself asking you about the concept of MARRIAGE.
he kya cheej ye?...I would be happy if anybody could, a bit, elaborate this word to me...how do you define and finalise that (s)he is you life partner....? tum iske sath me khush rahoge...tum uske saath me jyada khush rahoge...what is this all about?
I would request especially to elder members to express their views on MARRIAGE without differentiating between intercast and intracast marriage. ap log apne ladake ya ladaki ke liye life-partner dhoondhte ho to kis kis baat ke baare me sochte ho?...what kind of *qualities* do you generally prefer in him/her (rather in his/her family)?

[rajeshrathee]

Bhaiyon,

Everything is Okay...a lot of exciting discussion is going on here...I could not resist myself asking you about the concept of MARRIAGE.
he kya cheej ye?...I would be happy if anybody could, a bit, elaborate this word to me...how do you define and finalise that (s)he is you life partner....? tum iske sath me khush rahoge...tum uske saath me jyada khush rahoge...what is this all about?
I would request especially to elder members to express their views on MARRIAGE without differentiating between intercast and intracast marriage. ap log apne ladake ya ladaki ke liye life-partner dhoondhte ho to kis kis baat ke baare me sochte ho?...what kind of *qualities* do you generally prefer in him/her (rather in his/her family)?

Marriage can be defined as a socially recognised bond of relationship(Physical and emotional) between a male and a female.

If I have to search a life partner for my daughter and son then the first thing should be the compatibality, Secondly they should be down to earth.

[dev]

ok before i say something about the concept of marriage in our community, I would like to apoligise in advance if I offend the feelings of my fellow jatlanders.

Marriage :
Starts with the girls parents desperately looking for a good looking , well paid/earning, guy having house in some city preferably, (single sons are more in demand),etc., etc., etc., etc.
The family of the boy looks for -fair/convent educated/tall/respected (meaning rich )family (paying capacity of the girl),etc., etc. , etc.

After many months/years of hunting some people are lucky to get on the negotiation table(ofcourse ignore the number of lunches/dinners, the girls parents have to cater to)

Then some bicholiya or a relative brings two such parents together/(TERMS ARE NEGOTIATED THROUGH THE BROKER)(ABHI TAK LADKA /LADKI PICTURE MEIN NAHI HAIN)
Then the people from boys side with agroup of 40-50 people CHORI KE GHOOTHI GHALAAN JAI SE
Obviously the terms of the agreement are discussed again .
Then come the so called occassions/ functions where the girls parents have to shell out big money on one pretext or other(many of these functions were not seen earlier in our community)
uske baad one stops counting -the lenas and denas till the DOOMSDAY

Finally the doli departs with the girl (father is nearly bankrupt/or under a lot of debt)

But here is the catch , the real story starts after this

BAKI THE FELLOW JAATLANDERS CAN furthet elobrate

Regards to all

[choudharyneelam]

Marriage :
Starts with the girls parents desperately looking for a good looking , well paid/earning, guy having house in some city preferably, (single sons are more in demand),etc., etc., etc., etc.
The family of the boy looks for -fair/convent educated/tall/respected (meaning rich )family (paying capacity of the girl),etc., etc. , etc.

After many months/years of hunting some people are lucky to get on the negotiation table(ofcourse ignore the number of lunches/dinners, the girls parents have to cater to)

Then some bicholiya or a relative brings two such parents together/(TERMS ARE NEGOTIATED THROUGH THE BROKER)(ABHI TAK LADKA /LADKI PICTURE MEIN NAHI HAIN)
Then the people from boys side with agroup of 40-50 people CHORI KE GHOOTHI GHALAAN JAI SE
Obviously the terms of the agreement are discussed again .
Then come the so called occassions/ functions where the girls parents have to shell out big money on one pretext or other(many of these functions were not seen earlier in our community)
uske baad one stops counting -the lenas and denas till the DOOMSDAY

Finally the doli departs with the girl (father is nearly bankrupt/or under a lot of debt)

But here is the catch , the real story starts after this

BAKI THE FELLOW JAATLANDERS CAN furthet elobrate

Regards to all

Aap ne shayad sirf aisi hi style ki shaadiyan dekhi hain and that's why know only such ways of tying the knots of two person....now listen what type i've seen....

Starting with the girl's parents...looks for some educated/ well settled/ cultured with family status (means respect in society)/ place is preferred either better or some just similar level like the girl has spent her life before marriage/no matter how many family members or siblings are there(depends on girl's chioce also)

Now what boy's family looks....search for some well educated/ beautiful (means aankh naak theek hone chahiyen-Aish ki jaroorat nahin)/ should have good family values who can understand the other family in every aspect (can work if they like or be a homely if they want to see her at home)/ height and complexion depends on the guy's choice/ should match with the status of the family (doesn't matter if her parents are not at high rank or position)...main consideration is a girl with values.

After many months/years of searching some people are lucky to get listed to select one best among them (ghar aaye har mahmaan ki apni taraf se puri khaatirdaari ki jaati hai, so this thing is not counted)

Guy and the girl is allowed to talk freely if they want to whether they both agree or not (but usually they don't need and leave all the matter on parents as every child trust their parents)

Ring ceremony is then decided by guy's side(now as two families are going to be connected so both sides care for every situation so that everyone feels good but usually boy's parents are asked first and that's right)

Now comes the talk about D'day.....
Girl's parents ask boy's family the way they would like to have the big function(means very special for two people) and finally girls parents spend all after discussing it with guy's parents (as the match is going to be tied together so everyone takes every care at both sides without making the girl's parents bankrupt or bringing them under any debt)

lenas and denas all depends on both sides

The real story starts after this (now the girl has to learn all the responsibilties in the best way and have to mix-up with them soon...cases may be some other also but that depends how much understanding that girl has....main thing is that the girl should learn what the other is going to expect her...and if she is not able to get it then she can ask them politely, with serenity)

Respect, trust, compromise, sharing, giving, patience and more such qualities are expected from her...so she must be able to bring smile on everyone's face...and if the other doesn't cope then also she must keep trying without bringing any incorrect thing in her mind/thoughts.

One main thing is a girl should never involve her own parents in her next home (aur jahan kuch galat hota hai wahan parents apne aap dekh lete hain, baaki khud ko kai baar strong banana padta hai and i know it's not easy when one facing problems but time and situation teaches everyone)

So a girl's role is very important in every family...she can make the environment happiest or worst all depending on her...rest if guy's side or guy do anything wrong with her then she must keep patience..time never remains the same.

aur last baat maine apni mummy papa ki shaadi ka kissa suna tha...dowry seekers se humare dadaji aur nanaji dono ko nafrat thi...aur match poocho to mere dadaji ka status high tha, he was a retd. army captain and my nanaji was just a farmer....and even lookwise my papa was the most handsome guy and with a decent living standard, and my mother was a typical village girl and was not that goodlooking and tall, but was a famous girl in near villages for her studies and values...it's no need to discuss all these things here as all those in our contact knows our family very well....and my mother proved the best lady in every aspect....so a lot of things depends on a girl....ifshe really loves the guy's family then she can get the love of every member of that family.

[desijat]

I support your notion here Neelam.... indeed a true picture of an arranged marriage

It is true without any mutual consent, nothing happens

[devdagar]

Hi Dev,
I think now you are being sterotype...and for sure thats completely wrong. first of all how u can experience that kind of process ( if you have not gone through it?). so please do not be sterotype otherwise you are no different than others. I am not in favour of any particular type of marriage but for sure .....(These word are out...all i want to say that its not good..being sterotype..obove all I do not want to be part of any new controversy).

(or drop me PM ( if you still think there is any offending word(s) etc)
Regards
Dagar

[choudharyneelam]

I support your notion here Neelam.... indeed a true picture of an arranged marriage

It is true without any mutual consent, nothing happens

hmmmm....needs committment from both sides.

[choudharyneelam]

I am not in favour of any particular type of marriage but for sure I wo'nt let any body to prove that other kind of marriage is not a marriage (love or arrange or vice versa).

Mr. Dagar nobody visit this place to prove anything....everyone has different opinions at every topic....everyone is just sharing their opinions at this topic....and we too are not against any kind marriage...as it is a relation of two souls....bas generation gap ki wajah se kuch log suffer karte hain to unko sahi tareek se jana chahiye..nahin to izzat mitti mein mila ke jana bekar hai...but they can try to convince their parents....aur har situation milkar sambhali jaati hai...wo bhi sabse pahle ghar ke logon ko leke...agar bharosa ho to.


baaki apni apni choice hai whether you like an arranged one or of your choice from any community...so nothing to prove here...a mere discussion only

keep cool

Regards
Neelam

[saranrabar]

bhai mere opinion mein te apni community mein shaadi karne se acchi baat aur koi nai. waise bhi jaaton se accha kabhi koi hua hai bhala?? I used to think (when i was a lil childish)..ki yeh community wommunity kya hoti hai, intercaste marriage se koi farak nahi padta.. but now, i am pro intra community marriages. I have many reasons for that but dont want to quote them here as they may offend a few ppl here!! magar bhai jab dil aa jya kisi "ahem" aur pe te jat community te kya bhagwan bhi juda nahi kar sakta do premiyon ko..:D :D !!!

Can you list your reasons in respectful words, so not to offend the good people here? I am very curious to know these reasons.

How about international marriage?

When looking for "Starting with the girl's parents...looks for some educated/ well settled/ cultured with family status (means respect in society)/ place is preferred either better or some just similar level like the girl has spent her life before marriage/no matter how many family members or siblings are there(depends on girl's chioce also)" don't we think that some EUROPEAN girls fit this description?

Same, when looking for "The family of the boy looks for -fair/convent educated/tall/respected (meaning rich )family (paying capacity of the girl),etc., etc. , etc.", some AMERICAN boys (not NRI or PIO in sillicon valley but real american boys) may fit this bill too?

By the way, I agree that we are not visiting this site to advocate one point of view. We are here to exchange differences, experience new opinions, and learn tolerence.

[choudharyneelam]

How about international marriage?


This too is not wrong but if both sides understanding matches with each other...and if understanding does not match in our own community then that case cannot prove to be good to others....rest first everyone try to match the culture and i don't say that girls/boys in foreign are not cultured....they have it but to understand an Indian Marriage they need some more things to understand like what all ladies sacrifice here for her family and relations....and same way how much a man do for his family any circumstances he faces in his life. And the way they stand for each other that can be seen very rare in foreigners. But with passing time we are seeing some changes in our culture also....and foreigners adapting ours....feels so good to hear but at same time makes us feel low when we see the culture missing in our own nation.

[prashantacmet]

Merra purana taaga kaad laaye thaam taand pai tai............:D:D

[choudharysaaab]

This too is not wrong but if both sides understanding matches with each other...and if understanding does not match in our own community then that case cannot prove to be good to others.....

How could you be so confident that within a short period of time you could find those understandings in your proposed life partner? I have seen people and families who *found* their this kind of *strange* understanding in such a short span of time that I could not believe.

What i have started thinking that, this is not a matter of understandings of two indivuduals, rather it is a understanding between their families, sometimes not between families, but among *closed* relatives. I would not consider it as a marriage at all. I agree with Rajesh bhaisaab, but i would like to expatiate his definition of marriage as:

"Marriage can be defined as a socially recognised bond of relationship(Physical between male and female ) between two socially recognised families, it can be exampled as a successful business, if possible." (emotions comes later after marriages in such cases...:eek: how?...because the people their surroundings are happy now...hahaha :p )...mazak bana rakha he life ko...

There is no emotional relationship, i suppose, if something is there, it should be because you are now married and you will have to be emotionally satisfied, you will have to accept it anyhow. I know that most of the members here will agree with this, but, just to show that they should not be so out-bursted, and should not indulge their useless image in front of us would try to pretend that they disagree this.

Whatever it is, but i would say that today marriages are no more that business. business of emotions...hahaha...see how could people still be happy...it really surprise me many times......well, everything ultimately is the game of money...if you have you it you can think to win, but will loss otherwise...whatever kind of life partner you are looking for...doctor, MBA, IAS/IPS...does not matter at all, what matters is the *social power, money power, land power, imigration power* of your expected counterpart. :p

[ritu]

teri kami tere is thread ne poori kar di thi prashant:rolleyes: vaise i missed u a lot everytime i visited this maha bhart thread
Merra purana taaga kaad laaye thaam taand pai tai............:D:D

[choudharyneelam]

How could you be so confident that within a short period of time you could find those understandings in your proposed life partner? I have seen people and families who *found* their this kind of *strange* understanding in such a short span of time that I could not believe.

First of all i tell you that all these matters are taken in concern not only by two grown-ups who are going to marry but parents are also involved and all these things sometimes takes time and sometimes decided even in short span, all depends on one's choice and at many places we have to make adjustments and even sometimes have to go totally according to what they say or ask.....rest a thing which you call trust is also there otherwise you cannot proceed in such matters.



What i have started thinking that, this is not a matter of understandings of two indivuduals, rather it is a understanding between their families, sometimes not between families, but among *closed* relatives.

I agree with this but not totally as there is also mutual understanding between couple along with family members and closed relatives.



I would not consider it as a marriage at all.

if you don't agree then what is it's appropriate definition according to your thoughts/opinions.

what i've read something about marriage is..............There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company, than a good marriage. And i find it very true.



There is no emotional relationship, i suppose, if something is there, it should be because you are now married and you will have to be emotionally satisfied, you will have to accept it anyhow.

If you can have emotions attached to your mother/ father/siblings...then only you can have some feelings of more emotions in your life...otherwise not, or i can say never. You love your parents not just b'coz they have given you better education, life's comforts, standed there with you whenever you needed them, many more such things...but you also love them b'coz you are a part of them, you got this life due to them and that's why you have a reason to stand in this world.



Whatever it is, but i would say that today marriages are no more that business. :p

it's not a business for everyone...many meaningful people you can see here....and this is not a match that you will lose or win in this.....this is a part of life which we all have to live, what responsibilties our parents holded have to be showed by us now but only if you want to see the whole life...otherwise i say that life is incomplete.....and i could not explain this incompleteness right now but one who decides to stay as spinster/ bachelor for whole life can explain easily and in a better way after experiencing his/her life...and what i can say just now is that life must go on.

and if you say it business, considering what parents like to match then you first think why a candidate is appointed matching the type of post one is required...why can't they take anybody inside, and can give the chance to show the best results/ productivity?????? everywhere some basics things have to be matched and that is very appropraite in my knowledge....but some things we have to adjust as we cannot find one totally matching to the other.

[shailendra]

Very interesting thread...
I also propose something radical here and that being the minimum requirement/qualification to be able to post on this thread should be a fully married status at least!!!

It’s only fair to the topic and the readers and makes a lot of sense so as to not let the discussion digress into some useless arguments by wannabes!

It’s quite obvious that the merits or demerits of intercaste marriage (or just marriage for that matter) can only be understood by someone who is married herself/himself first, if not then I say it is just useless speculation or hearsay.
[Next thing you know people would be quoting as to what ‘they think’ happened to their friends or relatives (which mind you; is NOT the same as understanding the topic by own experience!)…or worse still constantly using words before their every sentence like,’I think’…(No, no… don’t ‘think’ or ‘guesstimate’ how it could possibly be like; tell us what has been your actual experience, because if not, you don’t and can't even start to have the first clue on what really makes a successful marriage be it either way!)

So if you are still wet behind the ears on having had the actual experience itself, then please refrain/stay away... and don't burden us (the readers) with useless crap!

ps. Now I guess an exception to the rule might be members whose parents come from differeing backgrounds/castes to maybe provide their insight too; though I feel it still can’t be the same as understanding the basic reasoning and issues/concerns related to being somebody’s spouse your own self!

[narenderkharb]

A long... long .....thread .

Basic question is what is better

An intercast marriage or within cast

Answer is simple ..

The best thing is marrying in your own community.

Now one may marry outside his cast due to other reasons also.

One reason may be not finding a suitable match regarding studies or status etc. in this case I think it is a pure selfishness of that person to go for such reasons as one can help other partner in attaining a level even after marriage
This will be his service to community also.

Other reason may be unability to overcome the thrust of chemical harmones leading to feelings like love ,infatuations or attractions what ever it may be in this case one must take his parents in confidence as we have certain duties towards them also and they too have a right in our life.It is only they who suffer so much for us and we should not let them down for some of our weaknesses and selfish statements like it is my own life.
Take them in confidence and than do what ever you want to.


Regarding panchayat role I would like to say that very few people are aware of real proceedings and one member who was very effusive and critical with adjective like useless medivial and corrupt panchayats etc..etc..even did not know that elected panchayat are different from khap panchyats in such cases .

Panchayat take decisons on the base of brotherhood in a village ,cornerstone of our culture and tradition .The concept may be alien to a city bred kapoor who may marry a kapoor but not one Sura or Huda whose ancesstors has respected this tradition for ages.

[grewalrakesh]

kya bakwas hai............................................... ........................
.................................................. ........................................
kono kaam dham nahin hai ka...jab dekho bakar bakar bakar...
bhai hum itna samjhaye hain logon ko...lekin phir bhi bahut mara mari hai
kono ilaj nahin hai in logon ka.......

as simple as I say.....
EMOTIONS ---- a chemical locha of mind...you can always explain them in terms of chemical combinations of pigments present in the nerves of your mind......like see rang de basanti....lagi desh bhagti umadne....
aur AUTOMATA ka exam ho aur wo bhi ..suneeta agarwal...ka ya phir Data structures...BDC....to desh bhagti..nahin.....to bhaiya sem ka band baja......aur career ki chinta........

CULTURE : the region you reside in....so it is also not universal.......like the expression for yes and no....south indians and north indians differ....

SYSTEMIC :( It may be considered to some extent, if thought is materialistic) l physical requirements can be met without having enough disorder in society....but let me remind you...there is always an order in a disorder....hahahha so again...perplexed situation...like in many countries...US..you don't need to go for marriage to have a relationship....bindaas and raapchik lifestyle....jeene ka loodak jaane ka....

ya...one thing can be taken into consideration if we take a proper mix of all these....that is human.........

now it all depends upon the biasness ,one has for the three points above..
some may take emotions with more percentage...others may count the culture and sytemic issues.......

like if you take parents...you are emotional enough...bole to...chemical locha jyada hai bhai.......but if take culture..then a bit of emotions with fear.....
systemic..bole to a bit scientific........


yaar kya itna deemag pe pressure dilwa diya....yoon hi phokat mein...
chill maro na......marzi jaisa karna hai karo........

par hona chahiye ....ENDING wo bhi HAPPY wala........hahahhahhah

right for one could be wrong for other......always go for the commonalities.....that's a great kind of diplomacy(plz don't take literal meaning) one could have......aur agar shaadi ki baat karte ho.....to make it a success..you have to go by this rule.....nahin to no need to tell u......


jo intercaste....aur jo nahin karna chahte....donon se svinay anurodh hai...ki mujhe invite karna na bhoolen........mast nachne ka,khane ka,peene.....
haan...dulhe ka to band baj hi raha hai.......
shaadi kar dalo yaar.......after all happyness is not everything in life..hahahhahhaah kidding......

Rakesh Kumar Grewal.........

[shailendra]

kya bakwas hai..........................
kono kaam dham nahin hai ka...jab dekho bakar bakar bakar (wo bhi kitni bakar bakar :( )...
...kono ilaj nahin hai in logon ka...........

:rolleyes: Right back at ya! ;)

[ravinderdahiya]

aur AUTOMATA ka exam ho aur wo bhi ..suneeta agarwal...ka ya phir Data structures...BDC....to desh bhagti..nahin.....to bhaiya sem ka band baja......aur career ki chinta........



Bhai Grewal saab,
yu kay yaad dua diya Automata, badi mushkil tai bhullya tha iss nightmare nai
mushkilaa paatya tha yu paper.
arr bhai sunn lyoo jo ek bai Automata Theory ke paper mein phass jya na pher na tai uss nein intercaster acchi laggay arr na intracaste.

arr bhai aagay tai tuu issa kaam na kariyee, jab byah ka mahaul hoo tai issay bhunday-2 naam nahi likhyaa kartayy:D:D

[choudharyneelam]

Very interesting thread...
I also propose something radical here and that being the minimum requirement/qualification to be able to post on this thread should be a fully married status at least!!


To fulfill your this choice i'm out from this discussion as i'm single:D ...rest my opinions are that i'm never against any kind marriage only if that has taken place with parents concern...whether one get marry in his/her own community or not i never like this thing wrong untill and unless it hurts any sentiments of elders....baaki to main khud bacchi hun to ye baat aapki sahi hai ki badon ko apne views dene chahiyen.

Regards
Neelam

[choudharysaaab]

I am not agree with this, that, only elders should reply to this thread. They, of course would be having great great experience regarding this matter, but if you think carefully you will find that their time has gone. These days, in fact here at our pariwar...the JATLAND many people are involved in detailed discussions ( and most of them are youngsters) which may seriously result in so called ~*devoted love*~, they might have fallen in so called *deep love* that, they now, are readily prepared to marry each other...I want to ask for the sack of them...what would happen to their plannings they have done...they would not have gone to ask their experienced parents this kind of love?...most of you elders would give thier this love a name of an internet love...but, in some cases it may not be like this...you know...few of them might have fallen in this seriously...and might become excellent pairs, but, their elder experienced parents would not definitely like them to leave together...they would definitely behave like *prem chopra* ...but...has anybody have solution to this *prevailing* problem of this young generation?...NO...i dont think anybody would have...most of them just have *extra-ordinary* thoughts that are difficult to implement...and would feel proud to dubdue the feelings of these pairs.

If such pairs finaly marry according to their parents' chioce then how could you be so sure that they would love each other with full devotion?...the same boy and/or girl might has already said anybody else *i love you* many times...even they might have passed great time together...may be in some cases more than this...and the same boy and/or girl would express the same type of feelings on the first night or the following day to their ~*new life partner*~..i.e. they love each other very much...it really surprises me...how immediately it can happened in the light of their past they just had before their this *~recent marriage~*? ...so ultimately there is no meaning of their words they have shared before their marriage. I have many examples here from Jatland who are very much conerned about this...but, you know we cant help them anyhow...because their *so called experienced parents and relatives* are not in a mood to understand that this is a life which could be much better to leave with the person they are love in than with a totally strange person.

Say for example, if two persons know each other very well, rather i would say that they are in mood to be together whole life...i must say they want to leave for each other only...then, according to me...their parents at least once should consider theire choices...may be their choice appear better then their with time...their parents should not have that strance ego and useless social stuffs that if their daughter/bor do love marriage it will be a great *kalank, black spot* on them,...that is truely worthless...is is better to carefully think on this matter and should try to judge the pair who are in such a situation.
lekin most of the time i saw that parents/sometime both girl and boy want to marry such a person who is residing in metrocities, doing a great job like IAS/IPS, Doctor, MBA...no matter what he/she would be after 20 years of long job...no matter how much he/she would be personally careful to their life partner...no matter how much each would be faithful and loyal to each other...what is this?...are JAT bhaiyon ...baniya mat bano...think about feeling of you/your children...you could see you children happier then they are after marrying under your pressure...give me answer if somehow the person of parents' choice appears unloyal what would happen with your children...if this is the case...do you think that anybody else from your society would come to help your children?...most of the time in such arranged marriages people ask for dowry...and if the parents become ready to give that dowry...who from your society or relatives would come forward to help you out?...in such marriages...what i see is that ... relatives try to give you a good impression of their know families...this is like we get references from our professors...and, since the parenrts are not in direct contact with the prospective family...be simply have to believe their relatives...they cant say NO or reject their proposal in fact...this dilemma manytimes caused a drastic change the lives of their children...am I making sense here?...i dont know...but...this is not only a matter of intrecast and intracast marriages...is is much more than this...YOU ARE THINKING LIVES AS A PROFESSIONAL MATTER...which is not the case in reality...who suffers...the children...not parents...not relatives...not society...guys do whatever you want, fight for your life...nobody cares here...even in some sense your society and relatives are selfish...they are not concerned about your well being, but are for they relations with some other *known persons*...they sometimes knowingly and sometimes unknowingly do this...but always remember...they dont suffer...only you suffer at the end of the day...you loss the dreams you has been planning from long...if you relate it with success...then my definition would come as...success is not what you get...rather it is to get what you want in life...BECAUSE IT FINALLY GIVES YOU THAT INNER FEELING...which nothing else can give you...

waise byav (shadi) ke baas jo dusara pyaar hota he husband ys wife ke sath me wo mere samajh me nahi aya he...ki...kisi anjan ke sath me tum kaise rah sakte ho...ek din me hi pyaar ho jayega...aur is se pahale 2-3 saal se jis se pyaar tha usko bhool jaoge...ummmm...may be you will have to do (if you cant face it) it under the pressure of bogus social pressure...bekar ki ijjat wijjat...fokat he sab...baki sabki apni ichcha...:rolleyes:

[monikadahiya]

choudhary saab,

itna kuch likh gaye.. thoda samajh aaya thoda nahi.. tumhari soch se tumhari baaton se hee lagta hai ki u r still a "new kid on the block"... itni bacchkaani/bachhon jaisi soch hai abhi aur baatein itni badi badi... relax karo and enjoy karo life....! enjoy your "hot blooded" years.. and apna yeh rebel pan kaheen aur dikhao toh better hai rather than trying to hurt your parents... who cares about society?? nobody does..its your loved ones that you must care about!! shayad kuch saalon mein samajh jaaoge.. ya fer cambridge mein thode saal reh lo ..pata chal jaayega!! tab tak padhaai kar lo aur madam tussauds and london eye dekho :rolleyes:

[ritu]

waise byav (shadi) ke baas jo dusara pyaar hota he husband ys wife ke sath me wo mere samajh me nahi aya he...ki...kisi anjan ke sath me tum kaise rah sakte ho...ek din me hi pyaar ho jayega...aur is se pahale 2-3 saal se jis se pyaar tha usko bhool jaoge...ummmm...may be you will have to do (if you cant face it) it under the pressure of bogus social pressure...bekar ki ijjat wijjat...fokat he sab...baki sabki apni ichcha...
ohh kiddo do not waste ur energies and time in discussions like these.its very hard for u to understand these things rt now first grow up and then comment on issus like these.tell me just one thing if love marriage has true love why it sometimes end up in a divorce.so chaudhary sahab its not just love needed to make a marriage successfull there r so many other things .marriage has so much to do with otherthings not only love.love ka kaya saath rahte rahte ho jata h aur os ashiki waale love se better jisme adhiktar dikhava jyada pyar kam hota h.
i myself a great believer of arranged marriages and intracaste marriages.I can not live without speaking hrynavi a single day . today after 11 yrs of marriage when i loook back i feel proud of myself that i trusted my parents and marrried with their choice with in community.
l

[choudharysaaab]

choudhary saab,

itna kuch likh gaye.. thoda samajh aaya thoda nahi.. tumhari soch se tumhari baaton se hee lagta hai ki u r still a "new kid on the block"... itni bacchkaani/bachhon jaisi soch hai abhi aur baatein itni badi badi... relax karo and enjoy karo life....! enjoy your "hot blooded" years.. and apna yeh rebel pan kaheen aur dikhao toh better hai rather than trying to hurt your parents... who cares about society?? nobody does..its your loved ones that you must care about!! shayad kuch saalon mein samajh jaaoge.. ya fer cambridge mein thode saal reh lo ..pata chal jaayega!! tab tak padhaai kar lo aur madam tussauds and london eye dekho :rolleyes:

Than you very much for your so kind advice, i am delighted...definitely you will not be able to understand whatever i said...are you married?...i dont know...hopefully you are thatswhy you suggested me to live my own...fine.
I know that parents care, but still their are some points some time in life where they fail, this is not a kind of rebel which you targeted about, it is rather like for your kind of married people to understand the feelings of those for whome i am givine support, you know.
I cant agree with you in some respect, and understand what you are talking about, but, i regret that i cant go with you fully...i am sorry monica...ask them you get their love...are their parents hurt?...No...not at all...it is not my bachpana...rather yours...i would suggest you to be careful in long time when you will come accross such situations...

Well, i appreciate these lines "who cares about society?? nobody does..its your loved ones that you must care about!!"...we must be careful about them...then there is another question..to dum nahi he to karte kyon he pyaar...hahaaha...god bless you monica...

[monikadahiya]

Than you very much for your so kind advice, i am delighted...definitely you will not be able to understand whatever i said...are you married?...i dont know...hopefully you are thatswhy you suggested me to live my own...fine.
I know that parents care, but still their are some points some time in life where they fail, this is not a kind of rebel which you targeted about, it is rather like for your kind of married people to understand the feelings of those for whome i am givine support, you know.
I cant agree with you in some respect, and understand what you are talking about, but, i regret that i cant go with you fully...i am sorry monica...ask them you get their love...are their parents hurt?...No...not at all...it is not my bachpana...rather yours...i would suggest you to be careful in long time when you will come accross such situations...

Well, i appreciate these lines "who cares about society?? nobody does..its your loved ones that you must care about!!"...we must be careful about them...then there is another question..to dum nahi he to karte kyon he pyaar...hahaaha...god bless you monica...

Yes chaudhary saab,

I am very much married. aaj teen saal ho gaye hain.. believe it or not har roz it has been a beautiful day. I dont log in to jatland to brag about my (intracaste) marriage, i come here to meet my friends. tumne bulva hee diya toh suno..

aaj after 3 yrs of my arranged marriage, when i look at my hubby at my parents his parents my friends and everyone that we care about and i see that all of us are so happy, it makes me love my hubby 10 times more than i would have if i married a bihari or baniya or whosoever if i saw all my loved ones unhappy (they might have pretended to be happy, magar dil ke kisi kone mein woh hamesha dukhi rehte). u cannot understand the depth of this feeling..

tumhara so called "love" is nothing when compared to this feeling i am talking about.. i would love to call it superduper love or ultra love or whatever :p ..but it's much better a feeling than loving one dumb looking bihari who ends up getting frustrated at the end of the day when even his parents are unhappy. socho maharaj thoda doosron ke baaren mein socho... woh log kya love ka meaning jaanenge jinko sacrifice ki spelling bhi nahi aati :rolleyes: :rolleyes: u still have a lot to learn!! and grow obviously..

God bless you!!

[choudharysaaab]

waise byav (shadi) ke baas jo dusara pyaar hota he husband ys wife ke sath me wo mere samajh me nahi aya he...ki...kisi anjan ke sath me tum kaise rah sakte ho...ek din me hi pyaar ho jayega...aur is se pahale 2-3 saal se jis se pyaar tha usko bhool jaoge...ummmm...may be you will have to do (if you cant face it) it under the pressure of bogus social pressure...bekar ki ijjat wijjat...fokat he sab...baki sabki apni ichcha...
ohh kiddo do not waste ur energies and time in discussions like these.its very hard for u to understand these things rt now first grow up and then comment on issus like these.tell me just one thing if love marriage has true love why it sometimes end up in a divorce.so chaudhary sahab its not just love needed to make a marriage successfull there r so many other things .marriage has so much to do with otherthings not only love.love ka kaya saath rahte rahte ho jata h aur os ashiki waale love se better jisme adhiktar dikhava jyada pyar kam hota h.
i myself a great believer of arranged marriages and intracaste marriages.I can not live without speaking hrynavi a single day . today after 11 yrs of marriage when i loook back i feel proud of myself that i trusted my parents and marrried with their choice with in community.
l

Fine, well postulated reply to me...thank you ritu.
But, some response will come to you here soon targeting these lines " today after 11 yrs of marriage when i loook back i feel proud of myself that i trusted my parents and marrried with their choice with in community"

but, if i see from your prespective that you married according to your parents desires...thats fine, whetever i said if not for you...in fact that is for those you are in love...probably you had been or not...who knows...dont i even...i dont need know indeed...but, if you look at this time's love phenomenon...it is not like everytime that is a false one...there are many who have done a lot of things for their loved ones...and that, in most of the sense can be judged as done much more then their present husband/wife would have done till now.
you know, ther other side of the coind is that, like for example...imagine...you love somebody...Okay?...then your parenrts agree with your love and happiely marry you with him...now the same guy would do the same things which your presents husband is doing for you...i am sorry...but it is just for take an example for the situation which most of jatlanders are facing these days...not jatlanders but youngsters...it is not like my hot blood ritu...i am 28...i have seen the life and may have different views then a married person...you know...i will definitely go to marry a jatni...but...there are a lot of questions come into my mind when i try to think about this...

can you tell me one thing...you are married...so apne fere liye honge...of course...?...if i rightly remember...there should be 7 *kasams*...i am forgetting the exact name of these...in true sense...these kasams are not takend by you yourself...pandit ji bolte hain...hahaha...tum bas rice ya wheat leke hawan me drop karte ho...i dont understand what you do while marry in such a way...to iska matlab ye ho sakta he na ki you promised to you love with you own words, not single time, but manytimes...it should have more weight then your *rice fenkna on the words of pandit ji*...you are happy because you kept happy you parents and relative, there is nothing more then this ritu...well, i know that there is no end of this discussion...everybody is having different personal views...
achcha ye batao...ki jaha apki shadi hoti he waha ap khush rahane ki koshish karti ho na...to bychance...abhi jo life partner he uski jagah koi aur hota tab?...tab bhi ap khush hoti...so there is no meaning of saying that you are happy with the person...and that is only one made for you...that comes only because you showed your unusual matutity and committed to your parents' wish.

shayad me jyada bol jaunga abhi...i would say that my point is different that intercast and intracast marriages...wo to baat uthi to mene bol diya...bolna chahiye tha mujhe...

[ritu]

there is another question..to dum nahi he to karte kyon he pyaar...hahaaha...god bless you monica...
hahhahahahahaha sach me bahut ghani hasi ave se terepe.ek baat bata bhai yo love ke yo wala hi love hove se er me t apni ma t sabte batti pyar kara karu er fer apne balk t fer patidev.bhai aur rishta me bhi pyar dekhna sikh le na t kade tere ala love galti t khatam hogya na t chugarde te hate me daba pavega. :mad:

[choudharysaaab]

Yes chaudhary saab,

I am very much married. aaj teen saal ho gaye hain.. believe it or not har roz it has been a beautiful day. I dont log in to jatland to brag about my (intracaste) marriage, i come here to meet my friends. tumne bulva hee diya toh suno..

aaj after 3 yrs of my arranged marriage, when i look at my hubby at my parents his parents my friends and everyone that we care about and i see that all of us are so happy, it makes me love my hubby 10 times more than i would have if i married a bihari or baniya or whosoever if i saw all my loved ones unhappy (they might have pretended to be happy, magar dil ke kisi kone mein woh hamesha dukhi rehte). u cannot understand the depth of this feeling..

tumhara so called "love" is nothing when compared to this feeling i am talking about.. i would love to call it superduper love or ultra love or whatever :p ..but it's much better a feeling than loving one dumb looking bihari who ends up getting frustrated at the end of the day when even his parents are unhappy. socho maharaj thoda doosron ke baaren mein socho... woh log kya love ka meaning jaanenge jinko sacrifice ki spelling bhi nahi aati :rolleyes: :rolleyes: u still have a lot to learn!! and grow obviously..

God bless you!!

I was expecting this amazing reply from you. nice to see this :)

Well, monica, i wish you happy married life!
Dont you think that my response was not related to you?...may be in some manner was...i dont know....
I am talking about biharis...i am talking about jats...here with your own reply you have proved my words that you are happy because your parents and relatives are happy with urranged marriage. Cant we wish for them who are in love so that they transform their love into an arranged marriage finally and which make happy (no pretended happiness...hahaaha) everybody in their family? you know i may suspect your happiness as your pretended happiness.
their is no nothing like this...that is because you did something else and hence cant think about other with the same vision.
whatever you call me, an innocent guy, loafer anything...i would pray for them that they get their love...of course with the permission of their parents...that is my point...me nahi kah raha hoon ki bhag ke shadi karo...haahah...my kah raha hoon ki dono taraf walo do something yaar kuchh karo...:rolleyes:

[monikadahiya]

there is another question..to dum nahi he to karte kyon he pyaar...hahaaha...god bless you monica...
hahhahahahahaha sach me bahut ghani hasi ave se terepe.ek baat bata bahi yo love ke yo wala hi love hove se er me t apni ma t sabte batti pyar kara karu er fer apne balk t fer patidev.bhai aur rishta me bhi pyar dekhna sikh le na t kade tere ala love galti t khatam hogya na t chugrde te hate me daba pavega. :mad:

naa bebe , hum kit apne ghar aalon se pyar kare sain.;) ;) . hum te roz ghoose maare sai arr roz bartan udaave sai hawa mein!! mera te belan bhi khoob kaam aave sai other than roti making... ;) ;) ..hahaha

[choudharysaaab]

there is another question..to dum nahi he to karte kyon he pyaar...hahaaha...god bless you monica...
hahhahahahahaha sach me bahut ghani hasi ave se terepe.ek baat bata bhai yo love ke yo wala hi love hove se er me t apni ma t sabte batti pyar kara karu er fer apne balk t fer patidev.bhai aur rishta me bhi pyar dekhna sikh le na t kade tere ala love galti t khatam hogya na t chugarde te hate me daba pavega. :mad:

I could not understand haryanvi...sorry...better you translate it...so that i could get what you said...i would be happy to learn from you....:confused:

[ritu]

hindi me translation.sach me bahut hasi aa rahi h tum par.ek baat batvo bhai ye pyar ka yahi wala pyar hota h.me to sabse jyada apni ma se pyar karte hu oske bad baccha fir pati.bhai aur rishto me bhi pyar pechanana sikh jao kahi galti see aap wala pyar khatm hojaye to charo traf se nafat me na daba pavo apne aap ko.
there is another question..to dum nahi he to karte kyon he pyaar...hahaaha...god bless you monica...
hahhahahahahaha sach me bahut ghani hasi ave se terepe.ek baat bata bhai yo love ke yo wala hi love hove se er me t apni ma t sabte batti pyar kara karu er fer apne balk t fer patidev.bhai aur rishta me bhi pyar dekhna sikh le na t kade tere ala love galti t khatam hogya na t chugarde te hate me daba pavega. :mad:

[choudharysaaab]

naa bebe , hum kit apne ghar aalon se pyar kare sain.;) ;) . hum te roz ghoose maare sai arr roz bartan udaave sai hawa mein!! mera te belan bhi khoob kaam aave sai other than roti making... ;) ;) ..hahaha

Monica, we all love to our parents...they have done much more that they could for us...but it doest not mean that, for love and marriage like issue they simply reject the pair. i want to say that they also should consider them before going for looking for another partner...sabji mandi he kya life partner...ye pasand nahi aya dusara dhoondho...is me ye kami he usme ye kami he...ye suit nahi hua wo suit nahi hua...aur wo bhi within a day...mean ... sometimes...within a single lunch or dinner parents dicide your marriage...lekin if you compare this new guy you know just know him/her for a day...to kya jisko ham saalo se jante he wo bura/buri he?...kayii baar parents aisi arranged marriage me dhokha kha jate hain..but kuchh nahi kar sakte kyon ki fir wahi fokat ki society ki baate ati hain...to fir tum finally bolte ho ki...jina padta he...ji lo...kar lo usi ko pyar...nahi karoge to log khush nahi rahenge...that is your false love to your life partner...i am sorry, it may not be a case with you monica...but may be with others...

something more is coming in my mind right now...it is not reasonable to put this here...i am sorry ... i dont know when next time i will find time to put it...go to the matrimonial section...for both ladka and ladaki...give me answer that ...life partner ke liye...NCR me hona jaroori he kya?...achcha life partner hone ke liye...MBA/doctor/IAS IPS hona jaroori he kya...parents educated hone jaroori he kya...(ham to gaon se uthke yaha pahunch gaye...matlab ham to gadhe hain...hahaah...me hi nahi meri tarah se bahut hain jo gaon se hain...aur bahut achchi positions pe hain abhi...to kaha matter karta he ki life partner NDR ya dilli se ho?)....kha matter karta he ki USA ka ladaka ladaki chahiye...? ye aur kuchh nahi he...sab professional ban rahe ho...parents bhi aur relatives bhi...aurus jhoothi shadi se tum khush hote ho kyon ki tumhare prospective relatives ne un sab conditions ko poora kiya he...aure fir tum ek dusare ke liye committed ho jate ho...tumhare paas me aur koi chara nahi he...shadi ho gayi he pariwar ki jimmewari aa gayii he...to ab karna padega aise hi bas...aur fir pyaar ho jata he ...aur fir bolte ho ki he/she is only the best...funny...:p

[choudharysaaab]

hindi me translation.sach me bahut hasi aa rahi h tum par.ek baat batvo bhai ye pyar ka yahi wala pyar hota h.me to sabse jyada apni ma se pyar karte hu oske bad baccha fir pati.bhai aur rishto me bhi pyar pechanana sikh jao kahi galti see aap wala pyar khatm hojaye to charo traf se nafat me na daba pavo apne aap ko.

Ritu...thank you...remember one thing from me...JO TUMHARE HAIN WO KUCHH BHI KAR LO TUMHARE HI RAHENGE...AUR JO IN SAB BEKAR KI BAATON SE TUMSE NAFRAT KARNE LAGTE HAIN WO NAHI HAIN TUMHARE...AUR NA HI KABHI THE...BAHANA HE YE BAS...AUR KUCHH NAHI HE IS SE JYADA...risto me pyaar in shadiyon se nahi pahachana ja sakta...tumhari jaroorat se unka pyaar pahachana jana chahiye...did i make sanse?...jo tumhari jaroorat me tumhare sath khade hote hain wo tumse pyar karte hain...dusare nahi jo har jagah fingering karte firte hain...may be my experience with life is different then you...anyway...it doesnt matter at all...
aur ye bhi janane ki koshish karo ki yadi aisa koi case hota he to nafarat me dabna ya nahi dabna tumhara kaam he...unka nahi he jo tumse naraj ho gaye hain...wo tumse pyaar karte hote to tumko aur tumhari baat ko samajhne ki koshish karte...naraz hone se kya hota he...ye to jiddipan ho gaya...aur aise log life me kisi bhi mod pe naraz hoke nafrat kar sakte hain...even jamin jaydad ke case me bhi log aisa karte hain...to jao maan lo unki baat bhai...kyon?...okay i have put my views...:)

[ritu]

hemant u r discussing the wrong point in this thread.thread was intercaste vs intra caste and u made it love vs arrange.

[choudharysaaab]

hemant u r discussing the wrong point in this thread.thread was intercaste vs intra caste and u made it love vs arrange.

I am sorry, it came suddenly in my mind...i did not want to start new thread for this rather... you know, you can also relate intercast and intracast marriages with love and arrange...indeed, in some cases this may becomse a very good cause for inter-cast marriages...i think this helps...:)

[VPannu]

I am sorry....
Aadarneeya Choudhary Saab,
Suppose you are put in a house with another housemate who doesnt

speak your language,
have same family tradition as yours;
follow you culture.Now honestly tell me, How comfortably can you spend your life with her? Do you think that she will be assimilated in your family?
Its not just that 2 persons are getting married to each other but in fact 2 different families are tying up together. As it has been said earlier in one of the posts "Sirf apni matt socho, doosro ke liye bhi socho".

...life partner ke liye...NCR me hona jaroori he kya?MBA/doctor/IAS IPS hona jaroori he kya...parents educated hone jaroori he kya.
These things are considered to lay a better foundation for the couple who is going to be married and for the new generation to come.Jaisa beej hoga waise hi pauddha hoga.Paddhe likkhe laayak maa baap ki aulaad bhi to laayak hogi.
Now come to your NCR thing. Some people prefer to find a match close to where they live.So that they can easily/quickly access their son/daughter in case of any emergency or for any other occasion.
So I am going to marry a JATNI (jab time aayega tab ;)) because I believe that only JATNI can be a perfect life partener for a JAT.
I remember Sprite's advertisement punch line "Dikhaawo pe matt jaao, apni akal lagaao."
PS: Choudhary Saab, if you are interested in learning a bit of Haryanwi you can either consult the dictionary on JATLAND.COM or you are always welcome to ask me anything seriously I would be more than happy to do so.

[choudharysaaab]

Aadarneeya Choudhary Saab,
Suppose you are put in a house with another housemate who doesnt

speak your language,
have same family tradition as yours;
follow you culture.Now honestly tell me, How comfortably can you spend your life with her? Do you think that she will be assimilated in your family?
Its not just that 2 persons are getting married to each other but in fact 2 different families are tying up together. As it has been said earlier in one of the posts "Sirf apni matt socho, doosro ke liye bhi socho".

namsakar namaskar vivek saaab...kaise hain ap?...
i supposed all the things you told me to...jo ap kah rahe ho me usi baat ko bolna chahata hoon...try to think in a different way vivek...Okay...let me try to explain for you...ap shadi karne ja rahe hain...your parents found somebody suitable for you...this means you are going to go for arranged marriage, fine?...then, now ab apki shadi ho jati he...then, the girl comes to your house...where she doesnt speak you language, doesnt have the same family tradition as yours, doesnt know what to do to follow your culture...etc etc..Okay?...now, you honestly tell me how comfortable will be the girl with you...she will have to mix-up with your family, your culture and other things...matlab compromise karegi wo apni ichchhao ke sath me......then, kyon ki uski (ladaki ki) shadi se uske parents khush hain, relatives khush hain, usko lagta he ki sab khush hain...wo kuchh nahi kar sakti he...aur then, hamare social rules usko rokte hain ki ab jo ho gaya wo ho gaya he...there is one for you and this is the one you got in accordance with your relatives...you will have to try to manage with him...Okay?...now, will have to be happy otherwise wo kya karegi...log jeene nahi denge na usko...does it make sense ?...matlab ki...social constraints itne honge ki she cant tell her parents that this and this kind of problems she is facing...aise karne se uske parents ko dukh hoga ki galat ghar me shadi kar di he...which she would not like to do...aur jab usko lagega ki sab khush he us shadi se to fine fine manage karo raho kaise bhi...aur dikhao ki khush he wo naye ghar me aur slowly slowly tumse usko pyaar ho jata he...thats all vivek.

mera point ye nahi tha...mera point ye he ki wo ladaki is arranged marriage se pahale jiske sath me shadi karna chahati thi...yadi uske sath me hi uski shadi dono ghar walo ki khushi se ho jati to shayad wo jyada khush rah pati...

ab jaise baat ati he kiaisi love marriages me divorce ho jaya karte hain...to mujhe batao ki arrange marriage me nahi hote hain kya divorce...? lekin aisi love marriage me divorce nahi honge jisme parents fully khush hain really...lekin yadi parents dil se khush nahi hain to jab kabhi koi baat pe arguments uthenge to ladaki aur ladake ke parents unko divorce lene ke liye promote karenge aur finally divorce ho jata he...me ye kahana chahata hoon ki hamare samaj me parents love marriage ko itna bura kyon mante hain aur aur is baare me bachcho ki khushi ke liye kyon nahi sochte hain...?



These things are considered to lay a better foundation for the couple who is going to be married and for the new generation to come.Jaisa beej hoga waise hi pauddha hoga.Paddhe likkhe laayak maa baap ki aulaad bhi to laayak hogi.

i dont agree with this...pade likhe ma baap ki aulad bhi layak hogi he jaroori nahi he...suppose...apki shadi kisi BTech ladaki se ho jati he...fine? ...aur ab suppose karo ki apki shadi kisi MBA se hui hoti to ap kya compare karoge ki Btech wali ladaki se to apke aulad hogi wo jyada layak hogi? ya fir MBA wali se hoti wo jyada layak hoti?...this doesnt matter vivek...


Now come to your NCR thing. Some people prefer to find a match close to where they live.So that they can easily/quickly access their son/daughter in case of any emergency or for any other occasion.

me is se bhi agree nahi hoon...ha kuch had tak thik he...now as you have said that some people *prefer* to find a match...what is this preference all about?...does it mean that you are not concerned with the person rather with your other preferences?...hmmmmm...other preferences really dominate karte hain...


PS: Choudhary Saab, if you are interested in learning a bit of Haryanwi you can either consult the dictionary on JATLAND.COM or you are always welcome to ask me anything seriously I would be more than happy to do so.

I will be happy to learn haryanvi...but not now...i like it since my last visit to few places at Haryana.

[mann123]

Aree bhai Hemant tenne jo karna ho kar ley kyo is thread ki issee tissee kar rya hai.

bateraa time padaa hai sochan kaa ebbe konsa teree umar likad ge.:D :D

[mann123]

Two perfect example of successful Love marriages

1. Mrs & Mr. NAVIN GULIA Bhai

2. Me and my wife

and we are:) :cool: :p :D

Rajesh Bhai

Aree maine bhool gya tha ke :) :p

3. Mrs & Mr Virender Mann

[VPannu]

bateraa time padaa hai sochan kaa ebbe konsa teree umar likad ge.:D:D
Bhai Virender, Choudhary saab 28 ke ho liye, eeb bhi nahi socheinge to aur kadd socheinge;) .Inki twachaa se inki umarr ka pata hi nahi chalta:p

[choudharysaaab]

Bhai Virender, Choudhary saab 28 ke ho liye, eeb bhi nahi socheinge to aur kadd socheinge;) .Inki twachaa se inki umarr ka pata hi nahi chalta:p

Nice comment, that is what i could expect from you !...please keep the spirit up man! :cool:

[choudharysaaab]

Aree bhai Hemant tenne jo karna ho kar ley kyo is thread ki issee tissee kar rya hai.

bateraa time padaa hai sochan kaa ebbe konsa teree umar likad ge.:D :D

You can yourself, by going through your statement, find that who is in a mood to do *isssse tissee*....well, a beautiful attempt :rolleyes:

[ritu]

example of successfull marriage are 90%of alll arranged marriagesand arranged marriages r 90 %of all marriages.:rolleyes:
Rajesh Bhai

Aree maine bhool gya tha ke :) :p

3. Mrs & Mr Virender Mann

[choudharyneelam]

All marriages are successful agar kisi ko nibhana aaye to...bas ek dusre ko sunne mein problem nahin honi chahiye....ab ye kissa khatam karo taaki jo bhi marriage ho rahi hai inter /intra -caste, unhe jaan saken aur unhe bahaut saari wishes de saken...and if possible to unki party attend kar saken. :)

We only need a good soul.

Regards and Love to all
Neelam Choudhary :)

[poonam]

Looks like this is gonna be thread of the year...:D (Khatam hee nahin hota..!!). Carry on guys!!:rolleyes:

[ritu]

hahahhah u r rt poonam.
ok my last quote
we should not offend any body who married outside the caste.because any relationship once its formed is above any caste or religion.but intercaste marriages should not be promoted at all.
on a site like jatland youngsters should be inspired for the community building things and being getting married within community is definately going to help it.
good to see young people like pannu and kharb who have decided to marry with in community.
quote=poonam;129987]Looks like this is gonna be thread of the year...:D (Khatam hee nahin hota..!!). Carry on guys!!:rolleyes: [/quote]

[prashantacmet]

Bobbo Ritu..... RamRam..kassi ho taam? ..It's also last from my side............ Don't bias ur opinion on account of being a Jatland Member.. Sit one side.. either in favour or oppose...........Afterall,ur beliefs must have a stronghold on ur nerve......those must not deviated any how...........

hahahhah u r rt poonam.
ok my last quote
we should not offend any body who married outside the caste.because any relationship once its formed is above any caste or religion.but intercaste marriages should not be promoted at all.
on a site like jatland youngsters should be inspired for the community building things and being getting married within community is definately going to help it.
good to see young people like pannu and kharb who have decided to marry with in community.
quote=poonam;129987]Looks like this is gonna be thread of the year...:D (Khatam hee nahin hota..!!). Carry on guys!!:rolleyes: [/quote]

[mann123]

example of successfull marriage are 90%of alll arranged marriagesand arranged marriages r 90 %of all marriages.:rolleyes:

you are very right ritu

Successfull marriage are 90% of all arranged marriages even i rate it to 95%
but you might have noticed that sometime marriages are enforced and then after that everybody knows what happened to their life wo life ko jitee nahee ghasitee hai aur roj yehe duva kartee hai

"Hey Ram aaj ka din theek thaak kaat diye"

Everybody have their own defination of marriage and what I think it should be on understanding and mutual consent whether it is Arranged or Love, inter or intra caste.

I have lot of boy/girl in our own caste who don't like there own culture and language (their logic: it shows us backward). and others who love to have their own culture and expand it further.

In my view first preference should be given to Arranged marriage (apart from Malang/Randa)

[mann123]

Arrange marriage me to nibhana apnee aap hi aa jata hai nahee to.........

Maine aapne gaam me isse bateree pehlwan dekh rakhe hai jo dangal me to medal jeet ke lyavee hai gharaa aake ne becharee paroo ka kutka (sota) khaave hai. Kuch karee to becharee pehlwan ne daheej ke case me phasavan kee dhamkee de de hai susraal aalee.

Result: Pehlwan ke Successful marriage :D :p :p

So I think Arranged marriage is one of good characteristics of a successful marriage not all characteristics rest you all know..........

[Samarkadian]

Well we all are agreed that its totally on individual's choice(though very hard to put in jat families).Love marriage and arranged marriage kinda same, only difference being one is suicide and another is murder.lol.

Anyone here up for Inter-religion marriage here.? We have got one life, either we can make ourselves happy or noone.Break bounderies.Explore world.
LIve it fully.

[VPannu]

Enough read and enough said.. par 1 baat eeb tak na samajh aayi, jo (unmarried) intercaste ne favor karein sei wo JATNI te byaah karke raaji kyu koni? JATNI ke paad ke khaa jyaagi?ak nyaara chaaalann mein suwaad aawe sei?
Humble piece of advice....issa kaam kyu na karte jisme aapke ghar ke bhi khush ar aapka hone waala parivaar bhi

only difference being one is suicide and another is murder.
Kadian Bhai, Byaah karwana sei ,,,,apne aap ka katal nahi;)

Anyone here up for Inter-religion marriage here.?Intercaste thread is long enough. I wonder where Inter-religion thread will end up:confused:

[Samarkadian]

JATNI ke paad ke khaa jyaagi?ak nyaara chaaalann mein suwaad aawe sei?
Jatni ta ke bera na paad ka kha-----> ke bera hum - kha jawa ta ..lol

haan nayara chaaan main ghana e swad aaw sa..lol

[monikadahiya]

Pannu,

I am so proud of you !! You are "the" brother:cool: :cool:

[monikadahiya]

Intercaste thread is long enough. I wonder where Inter-religion thread will end up:confused:

Na bhai, inter religion marriage thread jada lambi na ja..cuz many himayati of intercaste marriages are against inter religion..such dogula pann ..ufff:eek: :eek:

[Samarkadian]

Na bhai, inter religion marriage thread jada lambi na ja..cuz many himayati of intercaste marriages are against inter religion..such dogula pann ..ufff:eek: :eek:


Well Monika as you stated DOUGLA PAN ..Thats is in big belly of Indian society..Example--Direct difference between BETI n BAHU.lol We ddint accept Sonia Ghandhi as Bahu n Indian citizen yet but surely we have made memorial for Kalpana Chawla who was married to an american and was serving for their needs..I' am in favour of any beautiful thing happen with any human being devoid of caste, religion,color or race.

[narenderkharb]

Na bhai, inter religion marriage thread jada lambi na ja..cuz many himayati of intercaste marriages are against inter religion..such dogula pann ..ufff:eek: :eek:

Rightly pointed out.

[rajeshrathee]

Well Monika as you stated DOUGLA PAN ..Thats is in big belly of Indian society..Example--Direct difference between BETI n BAHU.lol We ddint accept Sonia Ghandhi as Bahu n Indian citizen yet but surely we have made memorial for Kalpana Chawla who was married to an american and was serving for their needs..I' am in favour of any beautiful thing happen with any human being devoid of caste, religion,color or race.


Well said, Good explanation Bro!

[narenderkharb]

...I' am in favour of any beautiful thing happen with any human being devoid of caste, religion,color or race.

Hi Samar

Is it not too mean of this site to have name jatland ,Should we be not ashmed of our selves to be a part of this cast, race, religion based forum ?

When we don't like /believe in race cast divisons why we say or feel we are Jats?

just wanted to understand the logic...

[ritu]

kati sola aane sach
Hi Samar

Is it not too mean of this site to have name jatland ,Should we be not ashmed of our selves to be a part of this cast, race, religion based forum ?

When we don't like /believe in race cast divisons why we say or feel we are Jats?

just wanted to understand the logic...

[ritu]

how cananybody compare sonia with kalpana.kalpana to shan thi garv thi desh kai do not undestand how can people give wrong example like this to prove themselves.and on top of that some are approving theirviews too.very sad.
Well Monika as you stated DOUGLA PAN ..Thats is in big belly of Indian society..Example--Direct difference between BETI n BAHU.lol We ddint accept Sonia Ghandhi as Bahu n Indian citizen yet but surely we have made memorial for Kalpana Chawla who was married to an american and was serving for their needs..I' am in favour of any beautiful thing happen with any human being devoid of caste, religion,color or race.

[rajeshrathee]

There are two category of people, one who has taken a step and are happy with that and the other one, who will take a step in future or..............

Now first thing should be as wether all of the participating members believe in the concept of LOVE or not, be that a love before a marriage, which is translated into a succesful marriage or a love which has developed after or some years of marriage or that between a mother and son I mean may be between any two individuals.

Second thing is what if you love someone from other caste or other religion and get the same feelings reciprocated. Now here either you are so strong from inside that you just don't allow that feeling or (Chemical loche) as some of the chemists described it here, to come up.

Next thing is the courage to accept the reality. What you call someone who ditches the other party just because some of the Hardliners/Ideologists (Jo kal ko apki katti ungali par......bhi na kare), just for the sake of writing some words, are against that. I will call that such persons don't desrve to be humans.

As I said earlier its a question between two individuals and they and their family should decide. And as a person should care for the happiness of their family, it should be vice versa. When I got married there were many person (my fathers friens, who were ideologist but today many of them are mum and happy because theie own children has gone for love marriages within the caste and outside thier caste)

A happy marriage is the backbone of a HAPPY HOME and a home consist of compatible individuals, not society and ideologists and tommarow if you are succesful then everyone will run after you.

This is my last post in this thread and again to top the cream:-

I think, that Intercaste or inter religion marriage will be a love marriage and just make sure that its not an infatuation, its a true love and secondly the other half is compatible.

Love can happen anywhere, imagine koi Lath lekar kisi ko kahe ki "Kar pyar issi se"

Its your life and you have a right to live it the way you want to live and further Sawari apne saman ki khud jimmedar hai.

[monikadahiya]

Well Monika as you stated DOUGLA PAN ..Thats is in big belly of Indian society..Example--Direct difference between BETI n BAHU.lol We ddint accept Sonia Ghandhi as Bahu n Indian citizen yet but surely we have made memorial for Kalpana Chawla who was married to an american and was serving for their needs..I' am in favour of any beautiful thing happen with any human being devoid of caste, religion,color or race.

Samar singh ji,

We all respect kalpana chawla only cuz of her achievements.. or for that matter any indian who does india proud.. we dont respect them cuz of their inter caste or inter religion marriages.. what do you know about their marital lives??

Waise ek toh bhala ho jaga in examples se ..ki thode bohot apni inter caste marriages ko justify kar lenge cuz of these examples.. magar kaheen nyu na ho apni biwi/pati gar kalpana dikhan laag jya :p :rolleyes: ;)

[rajeshrathee]

and on top of that some are approving theirviews too.very sad.

Ek kahawat hai Krishan ji kare to Lilla , hum kare to Luchapan

Madam ji,with due respect, aap apna view do , ek dusere ko support karo ya na karo, apki marji, kisi ne kuch kaha kya apko, mujhe kisi ka view acha laga or usse support kiya to taklif..

Its not fair.

[rajeshrathee]

Ek sawal sabhi budhijivi Jatlanders se:-

Srishti ki rachna kaise hui:-

Adam Eve theory ya kuch or?

[monikadahiya]

lagta hai kai logon ko attention deficit disorder ho rya hai.. naam bhi nahee liya aur apne hathiyar kaadh ke tayaar...manne te koi muhavra bhi naa aamta...by god:rolleyes:

[rajeshrathee]

lagta hai kai logon ko attention deficit disorder ho rya hai..


Respected Mam

No personalisation please, it is not accepted from someone like you. Please mind you language mam. Attitude problem kise hai, everyone knows? Everyone is putting their views why you are taking it to your heart? If you have something healthy to contribute do it, may be a lot of person will learn from that

[narenderkharb]

There are two category of people, one who has taken a step and are happy with that and the other one, who will take a step in future or..............

Now first thing should be as wether all of the participating members believe in the concept of LOVE or not, be that a love before a marriage, which is translated into a succesful marriage or a love which has developed after or some years of marriage or that between a mother and son I mean may be between any two individuals.

Second thing is what if you love someone from other caste or other religion and get the same feelings reciprocated. Now here either you are so strong from inside that you just don't allow that feeling or (Chemical loche) as some of the chemists described it here, to come up.

Next thing is the courage to accept the reality. What you call someone who ditches the other party just because some of the Hardliners/Ideologists (Jo kal ko apki katti ungali par......bhi na kare), just for the sake of writing some words, are against that. I will call that such persons don't desrve to be humans.

As I said earlier its a question between two individuals and they and their family should decide. And as a person should care for the happiness of their family, it should be vice versa. When I got married there were many person (my fathers friens, who were ideologist but today many of them are mum and happy because theie own children has gone for love marriages within the caste and outside thier caste)

A happy marriage is the backbone of a HAPPY HOME and a home consist of compatible individuals, not society and ideologists and tommarow if you are succesful then everyone will run after you.

This is my last post in this thread and again to top the cream:-

I think, that Intercaste or inter religion marriage will be a love marriage and just make sure that its not an infatuation, its a true love and secondly the other half is compatible.

Love can happen anywhere, imagine koi Lath lekar kisi ko kahe ki "Kar pyar issi se"

Its your life and you have a right to live it the way you want to live and further Sawari apne saman ki khud jimmedar hai.


Hi Rajesh


The basic question was/ is ,what is right Intercast or intracast

Now the point was that since we owe a great to our parents who sacrifice a lot for us we as a human being has a duty to look for their happiness and their prestige also.

Some one who say that it is only me who has the sole right to decide whom to marry or not is basically a selfish and ungreatful person as he would have not been what he is today, had their parents not sacrificed a lot for him.

It is OK the parents may keep quite or weep afterwards but in some corner of their heart they will have a deep sorrow.

My point was, we should not let them face any sorrow or humilation ,it is not only our duty but it is the right thing to do also.

Now For a person who has gone with the locha or what ever it is and than commited to a lady ingnoring his parents than it is the most cowardice to run away from that loche effect or love later saying what my society will say this or that.

If commited one must stand for his /her love against the whole world that is like a real JAT .

And an intracast marriage is certainly more successful than intercast marriage I need not to explain reasons for this as most of us are aware of those.

[poonam]

I' am in favour of any beautiful thing happen with any human being devoid of caste, religion,color or race.

Totally with you on this!!



Is it not too mean of this site to have name jatland ,Should we be not ashmed of our selves to be a part of this cast, race, religion based forum ?

When we don't like /believe in race cast divisons why we say or feel we are Jats?

Well, allow me please.

Loving/respecting other castes, races or religion for that matter, would make me a less proud jat, would affect my love for the fellow jats....HELLO!!!!.....What are you talking about???!!!!

Life and the ways to live life are not BLACK & WHITE!!

[monikadahiya]

Hi Rajesh



Now the point was that since we owe a great to our parents who sacrifice a lot for us we as a human being has a duty to look for their happiness and their prestige also.

Some one who say that it is only me who has the sole right to decide whom to marry or not is basically a selfish and ungreatful person as he would have not been what he is today, had their parents not sacrificed a lot for him.

It is OK the parents may keep quite or weep afterwards but in some corner of their heart they will have a deep sorrow.

My point was, we should not let them face any sorrow or humilation ,it is not only our duty but it is the right thing to do also.

Totally with you on this narender!! We all respect other religions/castes..but marriage is a different issue all together.

[monikadahiya]

Respected Mam

No personalisation please, it is not accepted from someone like you. Please mind you language mam. Attitude problem kise hai, everyone knows? Everyone is putting their views why you are taking it to your heart? If you have something healthy to contribute do it, may be a lot of person will learn from that

Sir ji,

aapse bhi kayee cheezon ki umeed nahi thi, but u did it irrespective of what the other person would feel! agar kisi ne yaha irrelevant examples diya and somebody supports him/her, toh atpata hee lagta hai.. attitude hai mere mein ..and that too JAT ATTITUDE.. and i am proud of it.. atleast i am not suffering of any complexes or any disorders!!
and bhai jatni ka dil hai, aise faaltu ki cheezon ko dil par nahi leti ,so dont you worry about me! apni fikar kare and be happy!:rolleyes:

[rajeshrathee]

Hi Rajesh

Sir whatever everyone is saying is fine, I accept whatever you said, But now if the parents are agree and they are very happy then.......................

Secondly woh gana hai na " Har kisi ko saara jahan nahi milta kabhi jameen to kabhi aasman nahi milta"

No one is fully happy in this world,

I say put your views but why personalise that if you don't have a logical reply

[rajeshrathee]

Sir ji,
suffering of any complexes or any disorders!!

Respected Lady

Upar likhe do words ke allawa kuch or word bhi bol diya karo, hum bhi apni vocabulary badha le:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[monikadahiya]

Respected Lady

Upar likhe do words ke allawa kuch or word bhi bol diya karo, hum bhi apni vocabulary badha le:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

sirf vocab kyon, kaho toh puri angrezi hee sikha dyu ;) .. jatni style .. magar distance learning course :eek: :eek: ..

[yudhvirmor]

I think discussion is not going in right way.

We are making it personal issue. As we all agreed it’s a personal choice and can’t be forced.

But I suggest all to try to love somebody in our caste if possible.

Sabhi se ek aur request hai ak chamar chudon main matna byah kariyo:mad: :mad:

Kale kale balak kaka kahenge toh maja saa nahin ayega:mad: :mad:

[narenderkharb]

Totally with you on this!!


Well, allow me please.

Loving/respecting other castes, races or religion for that matter, would make me a less proud jat, would affect my love for the fellow jats....HELLO!!!!.....What are you talking about???!!!!

Life and the ways to live life are not BLACK & WHITE!!


Sorry Poonam ji if you could not get my point.

What I said had nothing to do with love of any one for fellow jats or proudness thing ,The point is Why should a person who believes in and wants to see cast race religion free world should be a part of forum that has in bold letters written that This site is for Hindu Jats only,is this voluntary assosiation, not a contravention of his own ideals?

And second a frank openion from him regarding name jatland of site, as it again cast race denoting word.

[ritu]

it applies to everybody .
Respected Mam

No personalisation please, it is not accepted from someone like you. Please mind you language mam. Attitude problem kise hai, everyone knows? Everyone is putting their views why you are taking it to your heart? If you have something healthy to contribute do it, may be a lot of person will learn from that

[ritu]

and tommarow if you are succesful then everyone will run after you.
respected rajesh sir jii can u please explain what u were trying to convey here. i am little bit mandbuddhi.could not get the idea behind this.so please sir shed some tubelight on it.

[rkumar]

Jats have it in their blood to accept women from other castes but never approve giving their girls to other castes... There is no logic and this is how Jat brain works..

RK^2

[ritu]

vo to wahi baat hui ek dusro ka bhala er apna nuksan:rolleyes:
kyu thik kah rahi hu na rk ji

[rkumar]

vo to wahi baat hui ek dusro ka bhala er apna nuksan:rolleyes:
kyu thik kah rahi hu na rk ji

I don't think so.. Jats always had more males than females and that should be the reason of this mentality among our people. Unfortunately we are losing many highly qualified girls these days to other castes.

RK^2

[chhillar]

I guess marriage is very personal matter between the girl, boy and families involved. We can go on debating as to what's right or wrong but truth of the fact remains that everybody has his/her own situations, objectives and visions about marriage and he/she knows better than all of us "professors" here.

I am myself in favor of marriage in the same caste for my little ones, that’s ideal but would never really come in the way of their own choices either. After all it's their life, we as parents can only show them the right path (or what we think is right) but then they are the ones who have to be in driving seat.

Also, one should respect the social settings too while making a decision on marriage. rehna gaam ka arr karni love marriage wa bhee punjaban gelyaan ya pher apne e got mein…pher to kai gamman ke panchayati avenge baraat mein lathh le ke… arr koi na chhutave…little to impractical I guess…sector mein ghar bana lyo koi kuchh ka bolle

P.S. I would rather go for some body out of caste if I have to than loosing my daughter to a looser within the caste

[Samarkadian]

I guess marriage is very personal matter between the girl, boy and families involved. We can go on debating as to what's right or wrong but truth of the fact remains that everybody has his/her own situations, objectives and visions about marriage and he/she knows better than all of us "professors" here.

I am myself in favor of marriage in the same caste for my little ones, that’s ideal but would never really come in the way of their own choices either. After all it's their life, we as parents can only show them the right path (or what we think is right) but then they are the ones who have to be in driving seat.

Also, one should respect the social settings too while making a decision on marriage. rehna gaam ka arr karni love marriage wa bhee punjaban gelyaan ya pher apne e got mein…pher to kai gamman ke panchayati avenge baraat mein lathh le ke… arr koi na chhutave…little to impractical I guess…sector mein ghar bana lyo koi kuchh ka bolle

P.S. I would rather go for some body out of caste if I have to than loosing my daughter to a looser within the caste



Very well Said Sir.I really liked your rationale.I expected few resistance here but not so loudly but its I guess sometimes education also doesnt open the door of brain.Thaty "professors" pop up to counter you on every sentence.Anyway I support your post.

[prashantacmet]

Bhai saahab...taamne yaa baat maadi si ghuma di........ baat nu sai yaa..
krishan ji kare to raas-lilla , arr haam kare to character dheela............


Ek kahawat hai Krishan ji kare to Lilla , hum kare to Luchapan

Madam ji,with due respect, aap apna view do , ek dusere ko support karo ya na karo, apki marji, kisi ne kuch kaha kya apko, mujhe kisi ka view acha laga or usse support kiya to taklif..

Its not fair.

[prashantacmet]

laali..... kuch ghar ka bhi hilla dekh le.......kyoun iss kompooter ka gidgidaat baandg raakhya..........Mharre Bhai saahab bhookhe barddan laag rye........................:p..........

vo to wahi baat hui ek dusro ka bhala er apna nuksan:rolleyes:
kyu thik kah rahi hu na rk ji

[Samarkadian]

Hi Samar

Is it not too mean of this site to have name jatland ,Should we be not ashmed of our selves to be a part of this cast, race, religion based forum ?

When we don't like /believe in race cast divisons why we say or feel we are Jats?

just wanted to understand the logic...

Well Narinder Sir,
But there is always time to take your cast,religion or race to the new heights.Because mind is like parachute,both works when they are open.Coming generation might asks us.I personaly didnt intend to write here just to criticise any thing.Before a Jat and a obssessd Jat we are human beings and there is nothing shameless in speaking your mind being a Jat.

[Samarkadian]

how cananybody compare sonia with kalpana.kalpana to shan thi garv thi desh kai do not undestand how can people give wrong example like this to prove themselves.and on top of that some are approving theirviews too.very sad.

Well I wud be the least person not to acknoweledge Kalpana's achievements as person.But my reply was on her contribution.Like she had graduated in aeronautical engineering from India and served in NASA.What way she contributed to Indian space centre programme? Still since she has origion in India.She is still a legend undoubtly.On the other hand a Lady from Italy landed here as Bahu and lost her husband and contributed in giving a stabled govt to country.If you remember she was the one who asked Haryana Govt to review its strategy over SEZs over fertile land.Otherwise a jungle of concrete would have builded over here.Its Dougla pan not to accept someone just because she is Bahu.I didnt have to do anything with their married life.I always advocated interaction of cultures and marriage is the best idea.Anyway,thanks very much for atleast replying.God Bless You.

[Samarkadian]

Totally with you on this!!


Well, allow me please.

Loving/respecting other castes, races or religion for that matter, would make me a less proud jat, would affect my love for the fellow jats....HELLO!!!!.....What are you talking about???!!!!

Life and the ways to live life are not BLACK & WHITE!!

Thanks for support.God Bless you.

[Samarkadian]

Sorry Poonam ji if you could not get my point.

What I said had nothing to do with love of any one for fellow jats or proudness thing ,The point is Why should a person who believes in and wants to see cast race religion free world should be a part of forum that has in bold letters written that This site is for Hindu Jats only,is this voluntary assosiation, not a contravention of his own ideals?

And second a frank openion from him regarding name jatland of site, as it again cast race denoting word.

Well i just can smile and say God Bless you.Good Luck.

[VinodDhatrawal]

dahiya JI, Please don't mind it. Per aapse yeh umeed nahi thi. :confused:


If i move for an intercaste marriage. I think my children will not be eligible to be a member of JATLAND.COM :o

What do u say about it?............

.................................................. .................................................. ....

My Dear Prashant,

I do not agree, your children will have no problem in joining jatland.com. Because, they still will have something of a jat. You can visit the matrimonial section where a gujjar boy has posted his bio-data. Just see the matrimonial section if u don't beleive me.

Secondly, your brothers and sisters will have problem in getting correct match from jat community. I don't think everyone in your family has the same opinion. I can tell you from my experience that most intercast/love marriages are flop show.

Now, this is in support of your point. bhai! hathi jiske ghar ke age badha hota hai, usi ka kahalata hai. Also, our community is badly suffering from adverse sex ratio. So, please go for it, otherwise others will be forced to go for intercast marriage.

Mind you, this just my point of veiw and not an advice.

Vinod Dhatrawal

[rajeshrathee]

I guess marriage is very personal matter between the girl, boy and families involved. We can go on debating as to what's right or wrong but truth of the fact remains that everybody has his/her own situations, objectives and visions about marriage and he/she knows better than all of us "professors" here.

I am myself in favor of marriage in the same caste for my little ones, that’s ideal but would never really come in the way of their own choices either. After all it's their life, we as parents can only show them the right path (or what we think is right) but then they are the ones who have to be in driving seat.

Also, one should respect the social settings too while making a decision on marriage. rehna gaam ka arr karni love marriage wa bhee punjaban gelyaan ya pher apne e got mein…pher to kai gamman ke panchayati avenge baraat mein lathh le ke… arr koi na chhutave…little to impractical I guess…sector mein ghar bana lyo koi kuchh ka bolle

P.S. I would rather go for some body out of caste if I have to than loosing my daughter to a looser within the caste


Frank and practical reply. Salute to you

[VinodDhatrawal]

Main intercate marrige ke khilaf nahin hoon. Par ek baat kah sakti hoon ke intercaste marrige kam kaamyab hoti hain. Isaka matlab ye nahin hai ki apni caste main ki hui shadi kaamyab hona jaroori hai. Par intercaste marrige or apni caste main shaadi ke baad ki problems alag alag tarike ki hoti hain. Phle to dono ek duste ke liye sab kurbaaniyan karne ko tiyaar rahte hain or shaadi ke baad dono ek dusre se yahi chahte hain ki kurbaani dusra de. Intercaste shaadi kamyaab na hone ka ek kaaran ye bhi hota hai ki hum jis maahol main or jin reeti rivajon ke beech bachpan se pale bade hain unko shaadi ke baad chodna mushkil hota hai , yahan tak ki khaan paan main bhi frq hota hai , sunne main ye baatein lagti to bahut choti hain par baad main yahi choti choti baatein badi ladai ka roop le leti hain or kitna bhi kuch na karo tum rahoge paraaye hi unlogon ke beech ye dono traf se hota hai. Phir inhin choti choti baaton ko lekar ek doosre ke khoon lak ko gaali di jaati hai ki tera to khoon hi esa hai or teri to jaat (Caste) hi esi hai . Maine ese bahut se case dekhe hain. ISILIYE JAHAN TAK HO SAKE SHADI APNI HI CASTE MAIN KARNI CHAHIYE NIBHANE MAIN AASANI HOTI HAI. Or jahan tak ye pyar vyar ki baat hai ye sab bakwas hai thode din ka bukhar hota hai .
shadi ke baad wale pyar main jo attoot bandhan hai vo pahle pyar karke shadi wale pyar main nahin hai. Pehle to ek doosre ke liye marne ke liye taiyaar rahte hain or shaadi ke baad ek doosre ko maarne or kadam kadam par neecha dikhane ke liye tiyaar rahte hain ek bhi moka haath se nahin jaane dete.
Agar kisi ko meri baaton se chot pahunchi ho to maaf karna.
.................................................. .................................................. ....

Kamna ji,

I fully support your point of view.

Vinod Dhatrawal

[Samarkadian]

Main intercate marrige ke khilaf nahin hoon. Par ek baat kah sakti hoon ke intercaste marrige kam kaamyab hoti hain. Isaka matlab ye nahin hai ki apni caste main ki hui shadi kaamyab hona jaroori hai. Par intercaste marrige or apni caste main shaadi ke baad ki problems alag alag tarike ki hoti hain. Phle to dono ek duste ke liye sab kurbaaniyan karne ko tiyaar rahte hain or shaadi ke baad dono ek dusre se yahi chahte hain ki kurbaani dusra de. Intercaste shaadi kamyaab na hone ka ek kaaran ye bhi hota hai ki hum jis maahol main or jin reeti rivajon ke beech bachpan se pale bade hain unko shaadi ke baad chodna mushkil hota hai , yahan tak ki khaan paan main bhi frq hota hai , sunne main ye baatein lagti to bahut choti hain par baad main yahi choti choti baatein badi ladai ka roop le leti hain or kitna bhi kuch na karo tum rahoge paraaye hi unlogon ke beech ye dono traf se hota hai. Phir inhin choti choti baaton ko lekar ek doosre ke khoon lak ko gaali di jaati hai ki tera to khoon hi esa hai or teri to jaat (Caste) hi esi hai . Maine ese bahut se case dekhe hain. ISILIYE JAHAN TAK HO SAKE SHADI APNI HI CASTE MAIN KARNI CHAHIYE NIBHANE MAIN AASANI HOTI HAI. Or jahan tak ye pyar vyar ki baat hai ye sab bakwas hai thode din ka bukhar hota hai .
shadi ke baad wale pyar main jo attoot bandhan hai vo pahle pyar karke shadi wale pyar main nahin hai. Pehle to ek doosre ke liye marne ke liye taiyaar rahte hain or shaadi ke baad ek doosre ko maarne or kadam kadam par neecha dikhane ke liye tiyaar rahte hain ek bhi moka haath se nahin jaane dete.
Agar kisi ko meri baaton se chot pahunchi ho to maaf karna.

Or jahan tak ye pyar vyar ki baat hai ye sab bakwas hai thode din ka bukhar hota hai
Main intercate marrige ke khilaf nahin hoon.
Means you are against love not love marriages.
Nice.

[cooljat]

Dear Great Warrior Jats,
Ram Ram!

Guys, slow down yaaron...take the chill pill with Desi Sharbat Ruh-afja or Sheet ;) ;) waise hi Global Warmin ho rehi hai aur aap log ish thread ko Burning Train sa bana rakhya se Chill! Chill :)

Bhaiyon, Shaadi or Marriage is matter of individual's choice...cuz its their life :)

Well, its that simple...agar aapko kisi se real luv ho jaaye to luv marriage karlo yahan jaati-paati ka jhanhat aade nahi aata...just follow ur heart; on the other hand agar pyaar-vyaar nahi jaante ho kis chdiya ka naam hai to fer arrange marriage kar lo....yahan intercast jaane ka sawal hi nahi uthta...now find out suitable match of ur choice otherwise let ur parents decide for u...aur Last option hai Single and Happy rehe ka meri terah, apana funda to yehi hai!!!

But when it comes to Marriage I just cant compro here...its All or None kinda thing...if I dont get my kinda Jatni/gal I wud rather be stay Single forever!!

Anyways, Yahan pe kuch happily married Jats & Jatni jo ke shayad arranged married hein...ghanna gyaan sa de rehe hein arrange marriage ka :rolleyes: yahan mein yeh kehna chahoonga ki aap khush hein to jaroori thodi hai ki sab hi khush hon after marriage aapki tarah???

Aur luv marriage ka bhi aisa hi kuch haal hai....cuz its rare to find unconditional luv...so kuch log adjust or sacrifice hi nahi karna chahte so vo bhi dukhi hi rehte hein even after luv marriage!

Inse acha to Western system hai marriage ka vahan koi kisi ko granted nahi leta...agar banti hai to too cool nahi to seprate ho jaao...par vahan sab indepented hein...men n women r same there, while yahan pe society male dominated hai aur rehegi, isliye this is the main prob!

So in last, apun ka to itna sa kehna hai....jo couple happily married hein be it arrange way or luv way...vo apna gyaan baaten how to stay happy after marriage!! which is a rare thing ;)....aur jo dukhi hein vo ek dusre ko samje aur find out kare kahan problem hai....agar fir bhi nahi banti hai to Seprate ho jaoo!!! dont take ur life for granted since u only live once!!!!! tenison nahi lene ka...

Baaki, jahan tak compatible match ka sawal hai...vo to sab apni apni compatibility dekh lo....waise for a successful marriage these things required...I guess, TRUST, UNDRESTANDING, SACRIFICE, CARING & RESPECT!!


now lets come to basic point....intercast or intracast or inter relegion....so matter of the fact yeh hai ki jisko jaise shadi karni hai karlo ya forever bachlor rehna hai reh lo...but KHUSH REHO YAARON!!! nu chotti chotti baton pe talwar mat nikala karo!!!

so dont take it personaly....just spread some peace, luv n happiness!!


Rock on!
Jit

PS : Life mein Risk lo...lekin Gamble mat khelo ;) :)

[mann123]

Jats have it in their blood to accept women from other castes but never approve giving their girls to other castes... There is no logic and this is how Jat brain works..

RK^2

RK jee ne 100 ka jod likh diya hai bhaiyo. badee budee bhee kaha karen hai

"Jat ke ayee Jatne kuhayee Jatne gayee to bhee jatne kuhaee"

Vaise itihas gavah hai ki Jat king has made marriages in other caste but have not done the same with their daughters.

I think marriage is the independent decisions of affected parties.

[narendra81]

bhaiyon yahan par jab intercaste aur interreligion ki baat ho rahi hai to mere dimag mein chota sa confusion hai...aap log meri madad karo arr jara baat ne clear kardyo...
plz dnt take it heavily, itz just a curiosity of a kids mind, take in that sense only...:)
there could b many options for the jat/jatni if he/she is open for intercaste/interreligion marriage.
can you please rank them in the order of acceptence in jat society.
for example hindu jat is most accepted and low caste muslim is least accepted (just example).

Now please rank the following:
1. hindu jat
2. sikh jat
3. hindu brahmin/rajput
4. muslim jat
5. other sikh like baniya


bhaiyon i m bit confused in 2. and 3.
Hope u will put ur views.
arr kuch galat likha ho to chota bhai samajh kar maaf kar diyo...

[navingulia]

rai bhaaiyon, mai tai kati e pak liyaa suun is thread tai.

[cooljat]

Best reply so far!!
kudos to u bhaisaab :)

Rock on
Jit



I guess marriage is very personal matter between the girl, boy and families involved. We can go on debating as to what's right or wrong but truth of the fact remains that everybody has his/her own situations, objectives and visions about marriage and he/she knows better than all of us "professors" here.

I am myself in favor of marriage in the same caste for my little ones, that’s ideal but would never really come in the way of their own choices either. After all it's their life, we as parents can only show them the right path (or what we think is right) but then they are the ones who have to be in driving seat.

Also, one should respect the social settings too while making a decision on marriage. rehna gaam ka arr karni love marriage wa bhee punjaban gelyaan ya pher apne e got mein…pher to kai gamman ke panchayati avenge baraat mein lathh le ke… arr koi na chhutave…little to impractical I guess…sector mein ghar bana lyo koi kuchh ka bolle

P.S. I would rather go for some body out of caste if I have to than loosing my daughter to a looser within the caste

[ritu]

i will still say ki u can not compare kalpana with sonia.rahi baat sonia ke descisions ki to vo sab janate h ki vo actual me hote kiske h sonia ka to bus nam hota h.rahi bat oske widow hone ki to widow to jab sadan p attack hua tha osme bhi hui thi.sonia is in much better position then those poor widows.
Well I wud be the least person not to acknoweledge Kalpana's achievements as person.But my reply was on her contribution.Like she had graduated in aeronautical engineering from India and served in NASA.What way she contributed to Indian space centre programme? Still since she has origion in India.She is still a legend undoubtly.On the other hand a Lady from Italy landed here as Bahu and lost her husband and contributed in giving a stabled govt to country.If you remember she was the one who asked Haryana Govt to review its strategy over SEZs over fertile land.Otherwise a jungle of concrete would have builded over here.Its Dougla pan not to accept someone just because she is Bahu.I didnt have to do anything with their married life.I always advocated interaction of cultures and marriage is the best idea.Anyway,thanks very much for atleast replying.God Bless You.

[rahultokas]

yo ladaaai jhagdaaa saaa dekh kai Super Shail kaa ek Cartooon yaad aaagya,,, Computer Chair Warriors aalaaa,,:D dekhiyooo ek bai,,



http://www.jatland.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=1482&d=1154695354

[choudharysaaab]

i will still say ki u can not compare kalpana with sonia.rahi baat sonia ke descisions ki to vo sab janate h ki vo actual me hote kiske h sonia ka to bus nam hota h.rahi bat oske widow hone ki to widow to jab sadan p attack hua tha osme bhi hui thi.sonia is in much better position then those poor widows.

kalpana was nothing but a senseless being to remember, why dont you remember PT Usa, Sir C V Raman, and Dhanraj Pillai and others who have really done wonderful job to feel proud of them.
I dont understand why these days we are having lots of scholarships and fellowships linked with the name of Kalpana, who has not done good but died in a accident, a lot many people die daily in our coutry and on borders, why dont you remember them with the same respect as you have for KALPANA...? had she not been dead in an expedition she would just been an NRI as your husband who is working in USA, nothing more then this, it is just like few societies in india, who favoured women power, pointed out and others blindly started following them...
kal ko sania mirza ke naam pe bhi scholarship ane lagegi...hahaah...

[saranrabar]

<<<But with passing time we are seeing some changes in our culture also....and foreigners adapting ours....feels so good to hear but at same time makes us feel low when we see the culture missing in our own nation.>>>

I have seen a lot of this ... here at JatLand and elsewhere! Sad!

[reenarana]

yo thread khatam hoga akk na...........
acc to me....main tai ek jat se hi shaadi karungi........
jat boys se zyada koi or caste ka banda manly hote hai ....or koi nhn hota.....and i think every grl wants her husband to be manly and smart.........
agar jat boys well dress hoker aaye na to unse zyada smart koi nhn lag sakta..............isliye i will prefer.....or prefer kya mai tai jat tai ee byah karungi.......arr jo kisse or caste mein karega...wo pachtawega.....dikhawe nhn tai ke per mann mann mein tai zarur kuch na kuch miss karega......

[saranrabar]

<<<<So if you are still wet behind the ears on having had the actual experience itself, then please refrain/stay away... and don't burden us (the readers) with useless crap!.>>>>


But still those who do not want to reinvent the wheel would rather seek counsel from those who know.

Also, some high caliber candidates, male and female alike, are spending $$$$ in the USA to avoid failure in this serious business of life!

Are match making mechanisms, such as eHarmony or family connection or caste connection etc., equivalent?

How is culture affecting Indian marriages, mostly NRI, when parties are speaking of marriage and thinking of immigration?

[saranrabar]

There is no logic and this is how Jat brain works..

With all due respect dear RK^2, are you saying that Jat brain works with no logic? Haha

[netrapalsingh]

Is tarah apas me ladne ke bajaye Jato kee mahan hastiyo ke dekho.......

Choudhary Charan Singh - Ladkiyo kee shadi kis cast me kee.

Dr Chandar Bhan (Rajasthan) - Kumbari se Shadi kee......

Vijay Poonia (Famous Jat or Rajasthan) - Yadav ladkee se shadee karee..

or bhee bhoot se example mil jayenge par kya in kee respect me koi kamee
ayee.......?

Or poorane jato se pooch lo jat agar intercast marriage nahee karta to kitne
byahe jate?.......


netra......

[saranrabar]

The Jats are required to marry within their community. A Jat boy marrying a non- Jat girl though not encouraged or approved, is nevertheless acceptable- A Jat girl marrying a non Jat boy is, however, taboo, and, should it happen it is considered a permanent blot of disgrace on the girl's family. Boys and girls of the same gotra are considered brothers and sisters to each other. It is therefore, prohibited to marry a girl of ones own gotra, of the gotra of ones another, as that would amount to incest. Marriage within the same village is not permitted even if the boy and girl qualify for marriage according to gotra restriction. Marriages within the same Gohand are discouraged.
These systems have a number of advantages. Racial purity is maintained. Within the bounds of the community, maximum cross breeding takes place which promotes good health and prevents physical degeneration) as it occurs in certain communities who marry first cousins. Boys have a sanctimonious regard for the girls of the same village or Gohand as they consider them as future wives. This also cuts down mutual squabbles of sexual origin.
Widow marriage is not only permitted and practiced but is also a social obligation. One year after the death of her husband the widow is asked in the presence other and her late husband's near relatives, whether she would like to remarry and so, with whom. Her choice is expected to be limited to the brothers or first cousins of her late husband. The boy, thus chosen, is obliged, by custom a tradition to accept. Widows with children and those past their youth do not normally remarry. The burden of their support is however automatically taken on by the nearest relatives of the deceased.
The young and childless widows invariably remarry and are encouraged and even persuaded to remarry even when they don't feel inclined to do so in their state of emotional disturbance.
Widows are looked upon with sympathy and not despised as evil beings as is done amongst Rajputs, Brahmins and Baniyas. That is the main reason why a Jatni is never heard of as a prostitute. It is incomprehensible how such a humane custom was ever selected by the Brahmins as the main reason for branding the Jats as irreligious and low. It is not only a very civilized custom but is also fully in keeping with the dictates of the Shastras.

[bhavnasingh20]

marriage is all abt being wit the person with whom u can share ur life n be happy at the same time.....wht kamna ji said is true tht love marriages fail more than arranged marriages.....lekin yeh bhi sach hai ki agar arranged marriages mein prob aati hein to 10 log milte hein un baaton ko dabane ke liye...ki ghar ki izzat ka sawal hai....aur jab love marriage mein prob aati hai to yahi log usse uchalne ke liye ready rehte hein....
love in today's world is very materialistic...lekin aisa bhi nahin hai ki woh exist hi nahin karta.....shadi ke baad jo pyar hota hai woh bhi bahut baar forced hota hai...ki ab to shadi ho gayi hai...pyar nahin karenge to option hi kya hai.......
at the end of the day gurantee to kisi type ki marriage mein nahin hai....but if love marriage fails atleast u bear the brunt of ur own mistakes.....arranged marriage mein u bear the brunt of wht other ppl did to u....
n when u really like somebody then yeh saari baatein peeche chhod deni chahiye ki uski caste kya hai....agar aap yeh sab dekh ke pyar karein to woh pyar nahin ek type ka arrangement hai coz its better to get married to a known devil than an unknown saint......
so if u love somebody then i wud say u shud marry them but ofcourse not my runnin away frm ur family.....but makin them see ur view pt n agreein to it too.....n if u hav to leave the person u love....then it shud not b coz they r frm some other caste....it shud b coz ur parents didnt agree n asked u to choose between them and ur love......

[desijat]

lekin yeh bhi sach hai ki agar arranged marriages mein prob aati hein to 10 log milte hein un baaton ko dabane ke liye...ki ghar ki izzat ka sawal hai....aur jab love marriage mein prob aati hai to yahi log usse uchalne ke liye ready rehte hein....

Absolutely True

However i am a believer of a marriage which makes ur parents happy ... but what bhavna has mentioned here is true