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devdahiya
January 16th, 2006, 01:09 PM
Worth members, i request a very sincere inputs from all members for this thread as it is started with a sole aim to get an insight into the concept of life and how to go about planning the things while we sail through the days and months. My another request will be to have respect for each serious thought being posted by worthy members.


We take birth, start growing, study,settle down in a career,get married,have a family,then children come and with them come the thousands of responsibilities. those who are married and have children will know what it takes to be a parent? So please give out your thoughts as to how things can be better planned for each stage so that the life doesn't become a burdon and the couple can also have private moments for themselves.


To give a proper insight into the topic, i will suggest a few prominent headings under which this topic can be discussed:

1] Studies and how to go about them
2] what age one should be able to settle down in one's career?
3] Correct time to get married
4] Correct time to plan a family[children]
5] How many children should one have
6] Savings should start when and what percentage of income be saved
7] Children rearing
8] Children education
9] Own a house[ how and when]
10]How to grow old happily and in good health.


Hope to see many good responses !

satyeshwar
January 16th, 2006, 01:43 PM
Dev bhai,
Bada accha topic hai. Here are my opinions to your questions. Please note that these are mere opinions and may not match others answers.

1] Studies and how to go about them I think a person should put their hearts and minds into education to have a strong foundation for a better future. Parents can help out immensely to set a direction for their children.
2] what age one should be able to settle down in one's career? I think that a person should select a line of living at 20-21... If you are 25 and you still have no clue as to what you want to do, then it may become increasingly difficult for you to settle in and find happiness with your job.
3] Correct time to get married I would say in between 25 and 30. Before that a person is just not mentally prepared with the challenges a marriage brings along with it.
4] Correct time to plan a family[children] 30-35, This should give some time for people to settle down with their life partner...
5] How many children should one have Ideally 1 (population control, hehe!), maybe 2, is se jyaada bacche sambhaalna mushkil ka kaam lagta hai... :)
6] Savings should start when and what percentage of income be saved I would say that Saving should start as early as possible, as you never know when a rainy day may come. Everyone has heard that caterpillar and ant story right? Maybe start off with a small percentage like 10 and increase it slowly and steadily as your age progresses and you get towards retirement.
7] Children rearing Children should be given lots of love but should also be taught discipline. They must learn to respect their elders.
8] Children education As I said earlier, Parents can have a huge role to play in children's education. I think the more educated a person is, the more understanding they develop towards their environment, so good education is a must.
9] Own a house[ how and when] House can be your biggest investment (After children) so I would say that we should plan for owning a house as early as possible and ensure that we can sustain it for a life time.
10]How to grow old happily and in good health. Exercise, Nutrition to maintain good health and understanding and love for living happy... Words to live by: I am happy, you are right!

Again these are just my thoughts and in an ideal world I would like to follow all these... unfortunately, we are all humans and do make mistakes. Hopefully, we can all learn from them and try to not make them again.

devdahiya
January 16th, 2006, 01:56 PM
Thanx, satyeshwar bhai for nice inputs. My request to members....please don't limit your discussions to the 10 headings given by me....these were the starters only. Thanks.

jagmohan
January 16th, 2006, 02:32 PM
Bhai Dev,

Very difficult questions to answer. Each individual has his own perceptions regarding life. What works for me may not be practicable for others. However, the issues you have raised are important and my views are somewhat 'Out of the Box'.

Also remember: "Man Proposes, God Disposes".

Q1 Studies and how to go about them?
A1 If possible (through scientific testing and analysis) find out the preferences of your child as early as possible. Then make an all out effort to pursue the AIM. Never put pressure on a child to get 95% marks always. It is not possible.

Q2 What age one should be able to settle down in one's career?
A2 Depends what one has chosen to do. Children who join NDA are deemed to have settled down at the age of 18 or so and a research student pursuing his Phd may still be unsettled at 30 plus. However, one should have decided the path by the time he is 18 and settle by 23-25.

Q3 Correct time to get married?
A3 No time is right time to marry!!! Having said that I sincerely believe that in times to come marrige as an institution would take a beating. People are already having 'live in relationships' and 'contract marriages' are in. However, if one wants to marry then 25 years should be OK.

Q4 Correct time to plan a family[children]
A4 Planning can be done any time but it is the execution part that is difficult. Some working couples find it difficult to even plan. In my view one should have his first and only child within one year after marriage. So that by the time one retires, the children are settled.

Q5 How many children should one have?
A5 If possible ONLY ONE. If we have to recover our lands then even not having a child will do. If there are two brothers, both can marry but only one should have one child.

Q6 Savings should start when and what percentage of income be saved?
A6 Saving 10-15% of your income and investing it properly should be able to see you through old age. Start as soon as possible. Save only for yourself and not for your grandchildren.

Q7 Children rearing?
A7 Bilkul strict. Love your children but don't spoil them by giving them easy life. When they grow up they should be able to tell you "Papa, thanks for thrashing me at right times".

Q8 Children education?
A8 Very necessary. Though I believe that in future education alone wouldn't be enough. A SKILL would acquire the same importance as education. It is better to be a very good Cook or carpenter than an unemployed Phd. Each child must master a vocational skill.

Q9 Own a house[ how and when]?
A9 'Fools make houses and wise men live in it on rent'. However, owning a house is one dream that everyone wants to come true. One should weigh the pros & cons. Some people make the mistake of making a huge house. When children depart for their 'Rozi Roti' they don't know what to do with it. Then they end up giving it on rent. Then the decision about location is very important. I would not like to settle in Tumkur, Karnataka for the simple reason that I know nothing about those people and their culture. One must settle in one's own area. Jahan par do aadmi dua salaam karne waale hon ar apni bhasha boltein hon.

Q10 How to grow old happily and in good health?
A10 By not having undue hopes and expectations from your children. I have seen parents who have made their life hell by just expecting too much from their child(ern). Yaad rakhna: 'jab Panchi Bada ho jaata hai to vo ud jataa hai'. Bhai, Dev. Boodhaape mein good health rakhne ka ek hi raaj hai. Fall in love once again!!! No, no, not with any other woman but your own wife. Bhai, jis ke saath Sat Phere liye thay, vo hi saath degi aakhir tak. And if you want to really remain healthy in old age, act deaf if you don't become one.

Baki, tareeke when we meet. Saari baat bataa di to ye jawan bhi tawle e boodhe ban na chavegein.

Regards,

JS Malik

devdahiya
January 16th, 2006, 03:11 PM
Jagmohan sir, thank you for the thoughts. ha...ha...ha. Added some humor as well.....milne par......good one. You are right when you say that different people have different philosophies but then i am saying....Generally Speaking. Thanks.

deepakchoudhry
January 16th, 2006, 05:12 PM
Good topic Dev sahib.

And thank you malik sahib, for your insights and I really like the idea of falling in love all over again.:)

My two pence worth is ..... I think one must have targets (as per above suggestions ), time to reflect, do your best and remember God.

Having right values and right principals are so important...as they lay the foundation how we act in life.

Lord Shri Krishna explains all these topics in Bhagvad Gita...so read that if you get a chance.

devdahiya
January 16th, 2006, 05:52 PM
Good topic Dev sahib.

And thank you malik sahib, for your insights and I really like the idea of falling in love all over again.:)

My two pence worth is ..... I think one must have targets (as per above suggestions ), time to reflect, do your best and remember God.

Having right values and right principals are so important...as they lay the foundation how we act in life.

Lord Shri Krishna explains all these topics in Bhagvad Gita...so read that if you get a chance.




This aspect is also of paramount importance Deepak. Thanks for tyour views bhai.

deepakchoudhry
January 16th, 2006, 06:06 PM
I couldnt agree more.

devdahiya
January 17th, 2006, 07:39 AM
I think there is a strong perception doing the round these days that only child should be the ideal choice and i agree with this perception because you can do full justice to the single child, be it his growing up or education. Any one not agreeing to it?

positivelook
January 17th, 2006, 08:09 AM
Dev sir and all

Its really important for any individual to set some goals in ur life and try to achieve as much heights as u can, i know some people only live in fantasies and i dont like those kind of people:

I am quite young now at 25 but i m almost well settled in my life i see it financially and i m married now:
So uto the age of 25 i had my goal to settle myself independently and i achieved my goal. Now next 4-5 yrs i want to work like hell and get myself to be strong financially, that is my goal now and to have kids in this period is another thing which i m thinking.
At the age of 30 i see myself well independent and than i will try to get a space for myself and that will be in my interested field where i want to be and i will try my best to achieve something in life so that my parents can be proud to have a son.

Baaki itna hee plan kiya hai abhee tak aagee sochi toh hai par abhee disclose kar nahi sakta cos all that depend on my next 15 yrs of life that how it goes.
Anyway i personally beleive that everyone have to set goals and try to get a position , Agar duniya mein aise hee aakar mar gayee toh koi fayda nahi.

Think For Sky So that u Can Fly!

Abhimanyu Phougat

devdahiya
January 18th, 2006, 10:33 PM
Dev sir and all

Its really important for any individual to set some goals in ur life and try to achieve as much heights as u can, i know some people only live in fantasies and i dont like those kind of people:

I am quite young now at 25 but i m almost well settled in my life i see it financially and i m married now:
So uto the age of 25 i had my goal to settle myself independently and i achieved my goal. Now next 4-5 yrs i want to work like hell and get myself to be strong financially, that is my goal now and to have kids in this period is another thing which i m thinking.
At the age of 30 i see myself well independent and than i will try to get a space for myself and that will be in my interested field where i want to be and i will try my best to achieve something in life so that my parents can be proud to have a son.

Baaki itna hee plan kiya hai abhee tak aagee sochi toh hai par abhee disclose kar nahi sakta cos all that depend on my next 15 yrs of life that how it goes.
Anyway i personally beleive that everyone have to set goals and try to get a position , Agar duniya mein aise hee aakar mar gayee toh koi fayda nahi.

Think For Sky So that u Can Fly!

Abhimanyu Phougat


Good thoughts bhai.....keep it up......Must aim for the sky. Thanx for the inputs dear.