Is It Difficult to Accept Other's Viewpoint?

[jagmohan]

Dear All,

I wish to start a discussion on a very important topic that should ultimately lead to educating one and all, elders and youngsters alike, about how to accept each other’s view point. This should also enhance the quality of our debates and help us respect other’s viewpoint. I believe there are so many things that we need to learn from each other, irrespective of age, experience or education.

How should we debate/discuss a topic without indulging in personal comments and/or attacks?

Is it very difficult to accept other’s viewpoint? And is it very difficult to say “I don’t agree with you but yes, you have a viewpoint”

Why people always believe that one’s viewpoint is correct and others are fools?

Do we need to have some self-imposed rules and if yes, what are those?

May be this point was discussed earlier but I felt the necessity to bring it up again. May I request members to kindly discuss this issue with the seriousness it deserves.

Thanks and regards,

JS Malik

[vijay]

Respected Malik Ji,

I like the idea very much. I was thinking about this since last few days. I find here some people just try to impose their personal thoughts on others without putting any attention to their point of views.

Well, nobody can be always right. More or less we make mistakes and misunderstand each other and maybe sometimes hurt others. This is not a good approach. We should respect others thoughts as they also have thinking minds and maybe they have more innovative thoughts than us.

We are discussing here at jatland and in one way or another it is a public place for all jatland members. So we should try to behave like giving speech on a public place while discussing on any topic. If we disagree on any point let other decide who is on the wrong side.

It seems more logical that let others decide how good and intellectual persons we are. We can't fool ourselves by silly arguements. We should not argue for the sake of arguements.

And if we can't come up with any conclusion on certain topic the best remedy is:
We can agree to disagree ! Right.

[mukeshkumar007]

to understand others view of point is not a difficult task but we (specially JAT) make it much difficult because everyone understand himself/herself superior than other...

sometimes we seems agree with other's views but don't want to express it due to our ego problem..

my dadaji told me that a person who don't know anything can learn many thing but it is really very difficult to teach a person who has adkachra (half) knowledge...

[devdahiya]

We all some times tend to get carried away while discussing a topic. It is a human nature to force one's point of view on others throat. Without exception, we all are culprit to an extent but the degree of assault vary from person to person. It is all about tolerence and patience. If we are in a hurry to get our point of view accepted by others, we are in for a big disappointment because each one of us want to stick to the gun at all costs but there lies the catch, if we can put across our point of view in a logical way with a universal appeal and keep on substantiating our point of view post by post[as the debate progresses] without loosing our head then it will be seen that a broader audience accepts the logic and if majority accepts it then it is fine because 100% acceptence may be a MIRAGE.


Second point i want to make is that until you approach on a sober and soft line with appropriate kind words to others, you will be surprised to note that point of view in such circumstances gets accepted faster. If i don't agree with someone's point of view, i can avoid commenting on it even if i am tempted to do so, because gettind direct with someone will invariablly land us in trouble. Then we get into an abusive confrontation there by making an ass of ourselves and causing great pains to the souls and inturn damaging our reputation and hurt our spirits. We ought to take things easy and sometimes let others too take the cake.Infringements are the basic causes of conflicts and hence be gurded against at all costs.


Third and foremost is the art of appreciation. We all want to be liked and appreciated and if we find something contarary to this...we get on to defensive and thats where we don't want to see reason and logic[Mind you that is the situation,no one wants to be in]. If we can srart our sentence like this: "You may be right but if i can be padoned if i dare disagree with you because i feel it in a different way:" instead of: What the hell you Mean by this etc-2: Because by the former utterances we arouse the false sense of ego in a human being and he or she picks up a stone and gets ready to hit us.Humility is one quality which is time tested and apt in group discussions.


There are a few other thoughts which i will post subsequently. Very good thread Jaggu sir.

[deepakchoudhry]

Being open minded is essential for any healthy debate.

Also "Acknowleding the rights of others (eg right to express themselves)...even if we dont agree with them...but these kind of values are still not imparted in most indian homes or in our education system.

Age or Status or Sex (eg Male V Female) is used, to BULLY individuals or family members who do not agree to their point of view.

Until this value is taught and engrained with in us, we will keep having conflicts and ego trips.

Secondly..as dev sahib pointed out....how the debate or argument should be conducted by the parties involved...that is an art too..which needs to be taught and learned.

One can simple disagree without "Patronising" the other or becoming abusive or violent.

[positivelook]

Dear Members

Everyone have a viewpoint and we all have to accepat this. I think sometime we get very aggresive and try to impose our viewpoint on others. Its not good. Vicharon mein matbhed hai isiliye discussuion hota hai nahin toh koi baat hee nahin ho.
Always respect others viewpoint and if ur is different than do a healthy discussion.

Abhimanyu

[radhikachhillar]

Be kind,remain good and love people. If dis can be done,all will be fine.

[vijay]

Patience : Key to any discussion.

While discussing, we should have patience to listen other person's point of views. Sometimes we just read few lines, loose patience and temper and :mad: .

We should carefully try to get his/her point of view and understand the basic ideology behind his/her thoughts. Then we should think that are we agree with him/her or not. If we agree, we should appreciate his/her thoughts and if we disagree, we should not say that he/she is wrong. The perfect way is that we should say "maybe you are right, but i have some different thought. Lets discuss that and who knows maybe we both are wrong."

I will write some more later !

[devdahiya]

The fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves,but wiser people so full of doubts. " Bertrnd Russell"

[rahulkharb]

In a debate/discussion one has to be cool n calm... dismissing others viewpoint without thinkin bout it will b foolishness.

[devdahiya]

Very relevent thread this by Jagmohan ji........We must keep basics of discussion in mind while debating any issue.

[navingulia]

My principle is
Let others and their thoughts be what they are
and simply do my work

If some one asks me for suggestion/advice/guidance, then only i give

yes, i may at times tend to faulter but more or less i stick to this principle

[netrapalsingh]

ye sab nirbhar karta hai aap kis vishay par likh rahe ho
or aapko us vishay kee kitnee jankari hai. or bagar
us vishay kee jankari hue over confidence se koi bhee
kuch bhee likhta hai to wo galat hai.

fir jab koi bhee member kuch bhee likta hai to uske
bare me homwork karke likhta hai uske liye mahnat
karta hai. or padhne wale bina soche samjhe apnee
ray de dete hai.

in sab bato ka koi ilaj nahi hai aap shakti karenge to
log likhna band kar denge aap warn kijiye agar kuch galat
hai to fir bhee koi jabardasti karta hai to complent to
our surpanch.

netra....

[priti]

A key thing to realise in any discussion is the distinction between a 'fact' and a 'belief'.

A 'Factual' statement is a scientifically proven statement.

A 'Belief' statement is judgemental/value based statement. Now this is usually where people differ, the reasons for their differences are vast- the elements of their learning process (life experiences, orientation, education, age, environment and so on).

Everyone has a value/belief system, some know it some dont and that affects what position we take on issues and even on facts. Once the position is taken, people 'defend' it....this is where the problem starts....some defend it objectively (keeping their 'self' out of it) and others are more subjective (keeping their 'self' in the centre of it).....it is upto individuals what they consider as a priority- their 'self' or the 'issue' at hand....so in the end nobody is wrong ....even the individuals who want to defend something subjectively...thats a position they have taken....the individuals in the opposite has the choice to defend themselves/their point of view subjectively/objectively....:D

Just that the results are a little different...the objective individual would just defend or agree if she or he reasons that the other argument is right.......and the subjective person would get into tangential (personal and irrelevant) arguments to prove their point.....