Long overdue post!

[tulip]

Hi all ! I’m posting after a long time. This short piece here is an attempt to delve into the metrosexual male’s mindset. I hope all you men out there would give me some helpful feedback, to give it a proper ending! :P


Dude’s Dilemma

When the hell did we come to this?!! I wondered as I traipsed along the thin lane around the City Park. Little shoots of grass propping up in between sheets of rock, adamant to claim their own space under my feet. I come here often when I am pissed off or just tired. In fact this is where I first met her.

She had come to walk her dog and I, well, I had screwed up big time at work and had got a protracted thrashing from my boss. After doing over time I had somehow managed to save my ass and was driving home when I saw her on the way, entering the gates of City Park… and walking straight into my heart. I halted and parked the car. Now, I am not a loser who stalks PYTs on his way home, but she was something else. The day was yet to break. In those early morning hours, I saw her for the first time in the street light, with her dog devoutly walking beside her.

I was smitten. Quite like her dog, if you may. Her dark tresses were guiding the light breeze over her shoulders; her eyes had an unmistakable twinkle, perfectly complementing her complexion as smooth as white doves. It was surreal like a fairytale. Still in my formal clothes, I followed her.
I remember what a big fool of myself I had made when she noticed me, asking her the time with my Timex blatantly staring at her from under my sleeve. She frowned and walked away. That very instant, I swore to make her mine.. and consequently, change our lives forever.

I started going for early morning walks from next day onwards. Just to catch a glimpse of her, till I could muster up the courage to actually go up to her and make a conversation. It took me about two and a half months. Her dog was a sweet creature and he seemed to like me. He would roam freely while she took her rounds and then join her at the bench when she wiped her face with her lovely lucky pink towel. That day, her dog wondered over to me and started hovering around my feet as I stopped to catch my breath after a jog. “Doosie, lets go baby”
I turned and froze as her gaze locked mine.
“er.. hi, I.. er.. he’s a lovely dog”
Was all I could mutter under my breath. Miraculously, she smiled. “Yeah, she is,” she beamed. “Do you also have a dog?”
“Uh.. sadly, no. my work doesn’t allow me to have such luxuries” I was slowly retaining my normal self. Talking to this angelic beauty was not as hard as I had imagined it to be. Or perhaps it was the warmth of her smile that made me melt and be at ease.

And the rest is history. We met, and met again, till it became a way of life. It was my first real serious relationship. I was ecstatic. Now all those Hindi love songs suddenly started to make sense. I found myself humming at odd times and the world actually looked perfect! No wonder, I was in love. Even better, she was in love with me!

Now, after almost two years of eternal bliss, my relationship is on rocks. you see, she wants to get married.

I have always feared the M word. Perhaps it has something to do with the deep rooted fear of commitment. My past brushes with relationships didn’t give me much insight into it. My first gf back in school had left me because I had forgotten her Birthday. The second left me for her Boss, who was a charming women in her 30ies. Although I still think she was more ambitious than gay, but oh well. My third gf left me for a German Hippie we had met on our trip to Goa. She had the real spunk, that woman. I mourned the loss of my sex life more than anything else after she left. The brief flings that followed are all a blur.

I love her. No doubt in that. But I don’t see any point in tying the knot when we are perfectly happy living-in together. Ever since she’s started talking marriage, things have been pretty rough. And here I am in this park where my life had changed, wondering what went wrong..



….To be continued.

Disclaimer: The writer does not claim any any-depth understanding of the male psyche, nor does she possess any expertise in writing. It would help a lot if you could tell her faults/weak points in the above piece. Thank you.

[vijay]

Just a female's imginary psychic writing ! Nothing to comment.

[shailendra]

Hi all ! I’m posting after a long time. This short piece here is an attempt to delve into the metrosexual male’s mindset. I hope all you men out there would give me some helpful feedback, to give it a proper ending! :P
Disclaimer: The writer does not claim any any-depth understanding of the male psyche, nor does she possess any expertise in writing. It would help a lot if you could tell her faults/weak points in the above piece. Thank you.[/FONT]

So let me get this straight: you are a woman writing a piece posing and offering insights and thoughts as a guy/male/He!?!... I don't know how much input any guy can give you to be able to carry off anything as amazingly far fetched as that!

[shailendra]

Having said that (and don't take my previous words as any kind of rude comments, they are absolutely not), let me also add that I am still flabbergasted that you managed to write the amount and what you have...so our very 'constructive' criticism notwithstanding; You go girl,...keep plugging away and who knows maybe you just might manage the unthinkable and that which has never happened before....an authentic chronicle by a woman that actually quantifies,"What Men want!" :D

But let me tell you girl that the path to the mind and heart of a man (and it is NOT thru the stomach as they will tell you ;) ) is dark and deep!...and miles for you to go before you put the doubts to sleep!!! ;)

Best of luck!

[raj_rathee]

an authentic chronicle by a woman that actually quantifies,"What Men want!" :D


Hmmm. I thought we were pretty clear on that !! ;) :cool: :eek:

[shailendra]

Hmmm. I thought we were pretty clear on that !! ;) :cool: :eek:
...I meant, besides that!:D ... (behave people!:rolleyes: )

[raj_rathee]

Men know exactly what they want. ;) :cool: :eek: :D
Unfortunately, most women know exactly what men want.
The smart women use that knowledge to get what they want.
The rest of the women...well what can we say...we love them for who they
are.... ;)

[vinodks]

Hi Udita,
I gues story has been edited so cudn't read the full one... but honestly speaking there is no plot... a guy meets girl in park and falls in love, what element of male psyche you want to bring to light... isn't it pretty normal... happens to me everyday:-))... anyway, some metaphor were witty but stories are made by PLOTS not scattered witty comment.... Also these days people have habit of writing on compu directly... I like old style when couple of pages are smeared with criss-crossed sentences you feel you are getting somewhere... anyway, you are potential writer, I would advice taking a "Intro to Fiction 101" course in your campus...

To Rathee and Shaili Hooda, yeah I guess we are pretty clear on that:-)))

-Vinod


My first gf back in school had left me because I had forgotten her Birthday. The second left me for her Boss, who was a charming women in her 30ies. Although I still think she was more ambitious than gay, but oh well. My third gf left me for a German Hippie we had met on our trip to Goa. She had the real spunk, that woman. I mourned the loss of my sex life more than anything else after she left. The brief flings that followed are all a blur.

I love her. No doubt in that. But I don’t see any point in tying the knot when we are perfectly happy living-in together. Ever since she’s started talking marriage, things have been pretty rough. And here I am in this park where my life had changed, wondering what went wrong..



….To be continued.

Disclaimer: The writer does not claim any any-depth understanding of the male psyche, nor does she possess any expertise in writing. It would help a lot if you could tell her faults/weak points in the above piece. Thank you.

[devdahiya]

Men know exactly what they want. ;) :cool: :eek: :D
Unfortunately, most women know exactly what men want.
The smart women use that knowledge to get what they want.
The rest of the women...well what can we say...we love them for who they
are.... ;)



BHai Raj if i trust my instincts and have faith in what i learnt in life then the fact is OTHER WAY ROUND OF WHAT YOU SAID? ANy ways KUNWAROMN KO AURTTON KE BARRE MEIN JYADA PATTA SE BHAI AND JYAN TAHIN WEI IBB TAHIN KAWARRE HANDDEIN SEIN...ha..ha..ha. Bang on regardless!

[tulip]

Hi Shailendra, Thank you for the encouragement after the ahem.. rough comment. It feels good to know that you decided to give me a chance, however unimaginable my attempt seemed to your mind at first :)

On another note, I think it would be unfair to generalize the way to a man’s heart. There are men like Raj (my apologies to him!) in whose case it aint difficult for any woman to guess, and then there are others who aren’t as predictable.

Truce :)


Having said that (and don't take my previous words as any kind of rude comments, they are absolutely not), let me also add that I am still flabbergasted that you managed to write the amount and what you have...so our very 'constructive' criticism notwithstanding; You go girl,...keep plugging away and who knows maybe you just might manage the unthinkable and that which has never happened before....an authentic chronicle by a woman that actually quantifies,"What Men want!" :D

But let me tell you girl that the path to the mind and heart of a man (and it is NOT thru the stomach as they will tell you ;) ) is dark and deep!...and miles for you to go before you put the doubts to sleep!!! ;)

Best of luck!

[tulip]

Hi Vinod! How have you been?

Point taken, sir. I was playing with words when I wrote this, which is not to say that I’m giving excuses! Agree with you completely on writing a few pages before the story actually starts taking shape, instead of writing on the computer. I scribble poetry on paper as and when it comes to me but writing a story is a different ballgame altogether.

Anyways, take care :)



Hi Udita,
I gues story has been edited so cudn't read the full one... but honestly speaking there is no plot... a guy meets girl in park and falls in love, what element of male psyche you want to bring to light... isn't it pretty normal... happens to me everyday:-))... anyway, some metaphor were witty but stories are made by PLOTS not scattered witty comment.... Also these days people have habit of writing on compu directly... I like old style when couple of pages are smeared with criss-crossed sentences you feel you are getting somewhere... anyway, you are potential writer, I would advice taking a "Intro to Fiction 101" course in your campus...

To Rathee and Shaili Hooda, yeah I guess we are pretty clear on that:-)))

-Vinod

[vinodks]

I am pretty unpredicable... at time even I can't predict myself...:-)) most girls are too predictable too... you just have to reverse rules...
-Vinod


and then there are others who aren’t as predictable.

Truce :)

[vijay]

Hi Udita,

I didn't wanted to comment again on your writing but as some more people commented, i can't resist myself now.

I appreciate that you tried to write as i am an writer too. I don't know is it your first or have some experiance. But i think personally your point of view is just imigainary while writing the stuff. What u wrote is not an generalized theory about a man, but i agree there are a lot of people who are afraid of commitments. Your creation visualize them only not every man.

In conclusion, in litrary means it was good but practically it was not upto the mark.

Hey, don't stop writing even if you are criticized, be brave and just try to be original and practical.

All my best wishes are with you !

Cheers !

[shailendra]

Hi Shailendra, Thank you for the encouragement after the ahem.. rough comment :)

There are men like Raj in whose case it aint difficult for any woman to guess

Truce :)

Heh! Heh!... bingo! (Sorry Raj buddy, couldn't help the pun!!! ;) )...

Udita, I tend to agree with Vinod that maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to work a lil' more on how they meet face to face the first time! For example; Passing thru and seeing her the first time entering the park is not bad at all, it does set the mood and the ball rolling towards where you are taking the story...but then the guy's dropping everything and following her in there...seems to border a little towards 'stalking'! and even a 'loser' tendency! Umm uhmm, not very manly (or romantic)... even a lil' weak.

Maybe you could make that first real one-o-one encounter as sudden and unexpected (as the first one) and somewhere else, making him believe what he sees this time, or more importantly believe what he 'feels' when he sees her again, the belief that she is someone not risking losing again forever after just a brief glimpse; making it worthwhile the risk of making that first move, however clumsy it ends up being! (do I make sense?)... I dunno, kinda saying somehow making the guy also realize that that first attraction at the Park was not a flash in the pan ('Flashes' like Vinod already confessed we guys tend to have all the time, leaving the best of us sometimes quite handicapped in identifying when the 'real' one happens or comes along!!! Heh! Heh! ;) )

[raj_rathee]

On another note, I think it would be unfair to generalize the way to a man’s heart. There are men like Raj (my apologies to him!) in whose case it aint difficult for any woman to guess, and then there are others who aren’t as predictable.

Oooooooohhhhhhh.....that was burr...ooooo...taaaaallllll. :p

[shailendra]

Oooooooohhhhhhh.....that was burr...ooooo...taaaaallllll. :p
:D That was! Heh!....My sympathies Raj!:cool:

[raj_rathee]

Heh! Heh!... bingo! (Sorry Raj buddy, couldn't help the pun!!! ;) )...


Theek sae daaki...rolle-rolle mein tu bhi le gaya ek...ko baat na... :D

[gaganjat]

I feel the writer who stepped into that man's shoes , completely ignored the life outside that city park.

And in reality man was thinking about everything that is gonna happen outside park :D

One was using too much heart and one was stressing brain.

Things didnt seem worthwhile , so didnt click.

[raj_rathee]

I am pretty unpredicable... at time even I can't predict myself...:-)) most girls are too predictable too... you just have to reverse rules...
-Vinod

Vinod mere yaar, don't fall for the hogwash of "unpredictability" as some
sort of "set in stone" desirable asset. Like most things in life it all depends
from what angle you are looking from.

In human relationships, "predictability" is a strategic tool. At times you
want to be seen as predictable, and, at other times, not so. It all depends
on the end goal. And that is very much true within the context of this
thread.

And Udita, when it comes to women, there are some whom we want to be
"predictable" with, and then there are the others. The fisherman's net
is made precisely with the catch in mind. :D :p

[vijay]

I feel the writer who stepped into that man's shoes , completely ignored the life outside that city park.

And in reality man was thinking about everything that is gonna happen outside park :D

One was using too much heart and one was stressing brain.

Things didnt seem worthwhile , so didnt click.


Maybe you are right Gagan Bro but i have different views.

I can't digest the idea that a man who is so much in love with the girl who is inside the park and he is thinking the about the life outside that city park.

And my personal views my friend, if someone love someone so deeply from heart than what is the world and where it is. You should have courage to face every situation. That's like really a man otherwise the writer had explained in her post what you are.

So be a man and prove it.

[gaganjat]

Vijay u r right brother but...

In this story we can consider different situations.

This story is like modern art, one can see it in the way one wants to see.

Its gives a room to think anything.


Maybe you are right Gagan Bro but i have different views.

I can't digest the idea that a man who is so much in love with the girl who is inside the park and he is thinking the about the life outside that city park.

And my personal views my friend, if someone love someone so deeply from heart than what is the world and where it is. You should have courage to face every situation. That's like really a man otherwise the writer had explained in her post what you are.

So be a man and prove it.

[vijay]

Vijay u r right brother but...

In this story we can consider different situations.

This story is like modern art, one can see it in the way one wants to see.

Its gives a room to think anything.

Yeah Gagan Bro,

we can consider differtent situation. I agree.

And i agree with your modern art concept, but modern art can't change our point of view, our idealogy and personal thinking.

But you are free to think what you think and me too but basic thing is that what is generalized thinking.

That really maters !!!!

[sumeetmalik]

And the rest is history. We met, and met again, till it became a way of life. It was my first real serious relationship. I was ecstatic. Now all those Hindi love songs suddenly started to make sense. I found myself humming at odd times and the world actually looked perfect! No wonder, I was in love. Even better, she was in love with me!

Now, after almost two years of eternal bliss, my relationship is on rocks. you see, she wants to get married.

I have always feared the M word. Perhaps it has something to do with the deep rooted fear of commitment. My past brushes with relationships didn’t give me much insight into it. My first gf back in school had left me because I had forgotten her Birthday. The second left me for her Boss, who was a charming women in her 30ies. Although I still think she was more ambitious than gay, but oh well. My third gf left me for a German Hippie we had met on our trip to Goa. She had the real spunk, that woman. I mourned the loss of my sex life more than anything else after she left. The brief flings that followed are all a blur.

I love her. No doubt in that. But I don’t see any point in tying the knot when we are perfectly happy living-in together. Ever since she’s started talking marriage, things have been pretty rough. And here I am in this park where my life had changed, wondering what went wrong..



….To be continued.


Who is a metrosexual male? Is he the guy who wants to keep dogs and can't afford or the guy who doesn't get laid enough because of the guilt of committing to a girl for life?

This dude is a loser. He has only had disastrous relationships and that is what he deserves.

If that is what your story is telling us then you are bang on.

On a serious note, I think this is a very good piece of writing. Has a lot of potetial to delve deeper into the male psyche, relationship dynamics... whatever.

Lets finish it.

[shailendra]

Who is a metrosexual male? Is he the guy who wants to keep dogs and can't afford or the guy who doesn't get laid enough because of the guilt of committing to a girl for life?


...Good question that one! Every magazine, every expert describes this new term in a different way but pretty much in the same vein: A guy who is got lost in the corridor of the gay world! Like for example Dude's getting waxing done on chest and legs etc. and facial, manicure/pedicure in parlours!!!
I mean don't get me wrong, I am all for personal hygeine....but that is like getting paranoid about peer pressure and looking good (yeah, maybe like a woman's best friend!!!;) :D )

Anyways, seems like it has seeped into the Indian male pysche too and there are establishments in India now offering such services for guys, (unlike the traditional catering of such vices for women).... sorry but just too gay!
I think the important question really is what do women think about a 'Metrosexual' guy?

Either way, not to degress from the main post; let's have the rest of the story, Udita....or any changes that you have been planning. You got our attention fair and square it seems! ;)

[tulip]

Hi Sumeet!

You know, I have no clue who a metrosexual male is! I have some rough ideas but well, nothing concrete. And I dont know where the story is going or what is being told in it. I wrote it in a light mood just coz i felt like it. It is not an honest peice of writing but I enjoyed penning it down. Baby steps on the road to writing, if you may!

But hey, thanks for the encouragement. I was actually starting to wonder how come you havent commented on it yet :)

tc.

[tulip]

Oh well, Shailendra, I see quite a dialogue going on here b/w Gagan, Vijay and Raj. I only triggered it :P

Will try and give it an appropriate ending, and like Mr. Vijay says, a practical one too!