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sunildagardarl
June 10th, 2006, 05:34 PM
Dear jatlander's
Recently I came across a very specific problem of "Psycological stresses situations" to our families which are still following traditional way of living in our village areas. These problems are very common in newly married ladies, basically from orthodox families. Can we of any help to them by inviting their problems through any of us and suggestions may come from some of our expert doctor brothers and sisters from Jatland it self or by the interactions with our other known sources.
If you feel the idea may be of any help, I my self like to post FIRST situation for your advice/ comments.
dr sunil kumar

devdahiya
June 11th, 2006, 11:37 AM
Dear jatlander's
Recently I came across a very specific problem of "Psycological stresses situations" to our families which are still following traditional way of living in our village areas. These problems are very common in newly married ladies, basically from orthodox families. Can we of any help to them by inviting their problems through any of us and suggestions may come from some of our expert doctor brothers and sisters from Jatland it self or by the interactions with our other known sources.
If you feel the idea may be of any help, I my self like to post FIRST situation for your advice/ comments.
dr sunil kumar







Dr sunil ji, you have brought out a very good topic for discussions.Problem is not specific to our people, rather it is across the board [through out the length and breadth of our nation],with all those who stay in villages today,Only those who have no option to migerate for greener pastures...and mind you facelities in villages[mostly] are inedequate,be it Educational avenues,Medical facelities,Light,roads,Community developement,Counselings,Basic facelities like drinking water and many more as these services have been concentrated in metros and larger towns.


Now coming to the basics of your thread.....today newly weds[in villages] are much more educated and aspiring.They want to lead a liberated life and want access to basic facelities of life but in a rural set up they find them missing,coupled with that they have to live with the orthodox diktats of society.....This is creating a conflict in their minds.They want to break free but social pressure all around them compells them to retract and adjust.....this goes on and a stage reaches where they leave it to circumstances.....thereby driven to psychological disorders of various kinds.


What to do to make them better equipped is self explainatory...solve the problems of para one, but the order seems to be tall.We all can make a difference, may be a little but that will go a long way in eliviating their sufferings.


Thanks!

dahiyars
July 14th, 2006, 11:16 PM
Dear Dr Sunil and Dev jee

I agree with both of you.We as member of Haryana Gyan Vigyan Samiti are exposing the miracles and have dealt at least 40 such cases. Most of them are young girls married or unmarried cut across the caste barriers. we are planning to take it up in a more organised way. one of our activist in Jind District is well known for resolving these cases without any fee charges.

Large scale efforts of awareness amongest the whole society are required.

R.S.Dahiya

shamshermalik
July 15th, 2006, 02:49 AM
I would say its a heart warming thread for me because of the nature of the issue...but only if the discussion here can be put into the practical shape in the community.

First off all our Orthdox society isolates the newly wed bahu. Her boundries shrink to the extent of suffocation. Just imagine a girl who was enjoying a reasonable freedom at her home and then is asked to how to sit and how to stand...when to sit and when to stand...talk in a voice that male gender donot hear it..or better whisper...and that ghoonghat is the worst. Then the responsibilties on a comparatively less mature age without such experiences.

One more problome..the Dowry she brings is discussed openly and compared with others even in front of her...which causes her further trauma.

It overall looks like a Adjustment Disorder initially which then goes into depression and sometime suicidal tendencies. But there is a limit to adjustment...it would not be too wrong if we say that in some of the orthodox families the newly wed bahu is PARTIALLY IMPRISONED.


When we think about the solution then it need reforms, social and cultural.
We can solve a single case if we come across by councelling both the newly wed and the family without medications in most of the cases. But habbits are very hard to die and recurrence has a very high probability.

So to make major impact we need to bring awareness that our bahus are like our daughters and they should be treated as we treat our daughters and they should have all the freedom that our daughters enjoy at our home. No ghoonghat, no restriction to whom to talk as they know how to respect elders and the different relations. If we can achieve these two things I think rest of the problems will find the solution slowly but steadily without much effort. And we should not forget the worst enemy of female gender...Dowry we need to eliminate it for betterment of society.

Shamsher