confronting

[navingulia]

This is an important point which is the main reason of disharmony (whenever and where ever that happens).
We are not very accepting towards other peoples thoughts, feelings and actions i.e we confront each other too often.
We should be more accepting towards others, let the other person continue with his ideas and then discuss.
(I myself have had an internal tendency to confront but i have learnt to guard against it and let others be)
I think we can have a more healthy interaction that way.

[deepakchoudhry]

Navin Bhai,

What you talk about is part of emotional intelligence. These are techniques and tools of life ie how to relate or empathise with individiuals and situations.

Also this is something which comes with life experiences.

Most women are naturally blessed with emotional intelligence.

I wish Emotional Intelligence would become part of our Education System all over the world.

Deepak

[navingulia]

Bhai Deepak,
Actually i posted this general thread because there r so many instances on jatland where members start fighting for small reasons or no reasons.

[addy]

Navin Sir...
confronting ideas...(1) members often fight here..
(2)on Jatland!!!
Self explanatory.!!;)


Regards ....Monu.

[navingulia]

But conflicting ideas shouldnot mean fight. Thats what we have to learn, having and being in harmony despite conflicting ideas.

[devdahiya]

EVEN IF YOU WIN AN ARGUEMENT,YOU HAVE STILL LOST IT as you will never get the goodwill of that person.

[deepakchoudhry]

It becomes a battle of EGOS but it doesnt just happen on Jatland...its happens in our homes, with our friends , in our work place.

As I said it is about having emotional intelligence.

We are not taught how to confront or argue without loosing the objectivity...it is a art which is to be learnt...It does not come naturally to most of the people (and I'm certainly one of them).

[deepakchoudhry]

EVEN IF YOU WIN AN ARGUEMENT,YOU HAVE STILL LOST IT as you will never get the goodwill of that person.

You are right Dev Bhai Sahib, because the notion I'm right and other is wrong does not win any friends.

Our Society is becoming aggressive and self centered.

Everyone wants love and respect but noone wants to give it.:)

[raj2rif]

This is an important point which is the main reason of disharmony (whenever and where ever that happens).
We are not very accepting towards other peoples thoughts, feelings and actions i.e we confront each other too often.
We should be more accepting towards others, let the other person continue with his ideas and then discuss.
(I myself have had an internal tendency to confront but i have learnt to guard against it and let others be)
I think we can have a more healthy interaction that way.

Dear Navin Ji,

Thanks a lot for starting the nice topic.

There is a quote that needs to be understood by all of us: "It takes a lot of courage to stand up and speak, it makes more courage to sit down and listen".

Yes, as a community we do have tendency to have strong ideas and beliefs about ourselves. Probably that is one of the good quality for it sees us through the tough times. However, it is against the harmony of the community as we intend to land up in a debate with the prejudice and the conviction of "either it is my way or no way".

I think we do need to educate ourselves and those who come in our contact to develop the art of listening. Probably, meditation may help. Trying to develop a habit of looking at good things among others may be another way of developing this quality.

The problem with most of us is that we feel that we know all. Once a person starts believing in that philosophy he/she is sure to loose out and probably will never progress. As this quote amply clarifies:
A person who can not change is views, is like stagnant water and breeds reptiles.

[navingulia]

Thanks Tevathia sir, dev sir and others.

I have raised this issue because this is a major hastle specifically in Jat community.

Dear Deepak Bhai,
Emotional intelligence will appear like foreign language to common man. The idea we need to propogate is that we have to be more accepting towards others. We have to accept everyone irrespective of their ideas.

Jats have a strong tendency to confront. It is a mistake, a weakness, we have to learn to get away from it for the benefit of our community and others.

How many members can actually resolve in their mind that they would have patience and wont succumb to this tendency to fight. Together we can achieve anything, seperated we wont achieve anything.

[deepakchoudhry]

Navin Bhai,

I agree what you say...I think our community needs to work on this perhaps than others.

It seems Jat Ego is higher than Mount Everest. :)

What I was trying to say was that We dont necessarily have to accept others views but we have to accept that others have right to express their views....as we have right to express ours.

It also means we should not force our views on others if they dont accept or agree with them.

I think for some people, Disagreement means that we fall out from each other, but that is a wrong perception.

As Colonel Sahib said...Listening is very important bcoz without that we cannot relate, empathise or be heard.

Deepak