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View Full Version : Driving in India - Part II



sushilsehrawat
August 14th, 2002, 09:06 PM
Unique to Indian traffic:

Auto Rickshaw (Baby Taxi)

The result of a collision between a rickshaw and an automobile, this three-wheeled vehicle works on an external combustion engine that runs on a mixture of kerosene oil and creosote. This triangular vehicle carries iron rods, gas cylinders or passengers three times its weight and dimension, at an unspecified fare.

After careful geometric calculations, children are folded and packed into these auto rickshaws until some children in the periphery are not in contact with the vehicle at all. Then their school bags are pushed into the microscopic gaps all round so those minor collisions with other vehicles on the road cause no permanent damage. Of course, the peripheral children are charged half the fare and also learn Newton's laws of motion en route to school. Auto-rickshaw drivers follow the road rules depicted in the film Ben Hur and are licensed to irritate.

Mopeds

The moped looks like an oil tin on wheels and makes noise like an electric shaver. It runs 30 miles on a teaspoon of petrol and travels at break-bottom speed. As the sides of the road are too rough for a ride, the moped drivers tend to drive in the middle of the road; they would rather drive under heavier vehicles instead of around them and are often "mopped" off the tarmac.

Leaning Tower of Passes

Most bus passengers are given free passes and during rush hours, there is absolute mayhem (hell). There are passengers hanging off other passengers, who in turn hang off the railings and the overloaded bus leans dangerously, defying laws of gravity but obeying laws of surface tension. As drivers get paid for overload (so many Rupees per kg of passenger), no questions are ever asked. Steer clear of these buses by a width of three passengers.

One-way Street

These boards are put up by traffic people to add jest in their otherwise drab lives. Don't stick to the literal meaning and proceed in one direction. In metaphysical terms, it means that you cannot proceed in two directions at once. So drive as you like, in reverse throughout, if you are the fussy type.

Lest I sound hypercritical, I must add a positive point also.

Rash and fast driving in residential areas has been prevented by providing a "speed breaker"; two for each house. This mound, incidentally, covers the water and drainage pipes for that residence and is left un-tarred for easy identification by the corporation authorities, should they want to recover the pipe for year-end accounting.

If, after all this, you still want to drive in India, have your lessons between 8 pm and 11 am - when the police have gone home. The citizen is then free to enjoy the 'FREEDOM OF SPEED' enshrined in our constitution.

Having said all this, isn't it true that the accident rate and related deaths are less in India compared to US or other countries ?

Source: http://www.indianest.com/humor/025.htm

rathee
August 15th, 2002, 03:52 PM
bhai sahi bataoon itna laamba tha ki poora padhan ka ji nahin karya...par chalo tanne kyamein soch ke hi likha hoga...bahut badhiya..!!! :-)

anurana
August 15th, 2002, 06:12 PM
Pardeep Bhai aapki baat kati theek ss... aajkal to itni post ss ek poori padhi bhi nahi jati. Sare jat kamar kas ke likhan laag rahe ss ya cut paste karan laag rahe ss. Roj tadke tadak itni post dekh ke ji kush ho ja ss...

rathee
August 17th, 2002, 05:20 PM
kati sahi kaho so deede to mere bhi paate rahe ja sein....fer saare khwen sein ki bhai pradeep kit khoo gya...??!! aagli ber te mein kahoonga ki bhai dham shar tohiyo kite koyse post ki gael gutham-guthha hoya paa jaaoonga...!!! :-)