Boys go for skin

[parity]

Is this true that Male species concentrate more on outer beauty when they go for partner searching ??

I have heard some things about them, i dont have any personal experience :D so want feedback from interested Jatlanders.

For males the inner qualities are quiet unimportant. In starting they only focus on outer beauty. They take it as a business not marriage, want best deal :rolleyes: Appearance is a conspicuous factor for them.
Perhaps after growing older they start appreciating inner beauty also but not when young. Husbands like people appreciating their wives ( forget the real psycho,possesive ones ) but obviously with a safe distance :D They do appreciate other females' beauty in front of their wives but cant accept their wives doing same for other males :confused:
No intention to hurt any male here, no generalisations only want to know the other side of coin :)

PS -This thread is in "General Talk". Humour is not desired :) , please post healthy and honest comment. This is my earnest try to understand world better :)

Thanx for your time :)

[devdahiya]

Sukarma ji, As all women are not alike[even two are no alike] same way all men are not alike.It is very difficult to generalize things on this issue.Yes every male who has a choice[In case he is doing well professionaly and is well to do] will definitely like to have a presentable lady as his partener unless he has thought otherwise.But generally speaking Marriages are not made by choices only[as what one wants] but by various other important considerations like education of both,their future sustaining capabilities[say earnings],hieght,standard of the family,compatibility etc and hence it is not a open choice with the boys to pick and choose.It is a very complex matter and as such Just going for colour of the skin may not be a option or choice.Yes broadly speaking if a boy is fair coloured then he expects a fair girl and there is nothing wrong in that but does it happen that way?It depends on many other factors as brought out above.


As far as my experience goes,marriages seldom happen by choices.Nobody is perfact in this world.We both species have defficiencies and hence when marriages are decided there are so many things which are weighed and there are so many compromises which are made; before the final decision is taken.....yes may be, boy has a slight upper hand[not in all cases though] because of the layout of our society, but overall all sensible boys look for a few good qualities in a girl[Which are of much wider importance than the colour of the skin], before they make up their mind to tie the knot.I am sure that people blinded by singular consideration of colour, generally land up in trouble and also make life miserable for the girl in due course of time, as getting married is nothing[it's a ritual],the real life starts much after that where pulls and pushes of life demand optimum use of all faculties at their disposal, in this ever growing competitive world.



So be sure that marriages are not made here but in the high heavens for sure.Those who give consideration to quality of thought and wisdom will never fall pray to yellow skin, but yes if someone is blessedand that he gets a beauty with brains, then i must say that God decided for him that way and i am sure that guy must be having the qualities and accueman to prove worthy of that honour.


Good topic to discuss.Thanks..!

[rajeshrathee]

Dear All

In my view it depend on the maturity level & education of the person. If someone is a novice then like a child he can go for the outer beauty. It also depend as what is your selection criteria. But an experiance/educated or mature guy will concentrate on many factors apart from outer beauty. Most important is the comfort level you share with the other person. Courtship and spending life together are two different things and the the selection criteria may be different for both of them.

Generally a girl want to see the shades of her father in her match and vice versa.

For me emotional satisfaction is more important. Here I will again say that education play a very important role in broadning the outlook of a person.

As far as appreciation of wives by other person and possesiveness is considered then it is also important is as who is the other person, what is his background etc. I think no one appretiate a womeniser praising his wife.

What is important that both the partners should share same wave length. Amrita Pritam has once written that we all have and emitt our differnt wavelength/frequency and when we found someone with same wavelength we like that person, thats why in a gathering we like someone and also dislike others without knowing much about them.

As Dev Sir has correctly pointed out that no two men/women are same. In my life I had interaction with both extreme types of males as well as females.

[sunnysangwan]

In my opinion, beauty plays an impotant role in igniting the first sparks but after the inital "cootchie cooh" phase is over its the intelligence and general outlook of the female which make her marriegeable.

[brainspeak]

well explained by Devji nd Rajeshji...

the concept of beauty is an ambiguous one...it changes with time age...for the young it is the physical attributes tht r beautiful..for the slightly older beautiful is wht beautiful does....
nd as far as marriage goes physical attractiveness is the first thing tht strikes...as said by bhai sangwan....
nd its not only the guys who r looking for beauty in a gurls..even gurls look for presentability in their wud be...so it works both ways...
but in the long run its the mutual understanding nd respect both on the part of the gurl nd the boy tht carries forward the marriage...

[vijay]

Sukarma,

It's perception that male don't look into inner qualities but prefer outer beauty but yes i agree some people do that and very smartly ( special cases ). Ya they do bussines but they are only in few %age. I suppose that relationships depends on status, caste and econonmic factors respectively. Appearence is not a big issue unless someone looking very smart or too ugly ( i mean it ).

Relationships after growing older is another story where personal feelings and affection towards one another is the key of relationship.

An appreciation in practical and decents words is acceptable always.

Do females enjoys when they listen some great comments about their husbands from another females ???

[misguidedyouth]

for flirting -> yes
friendship -> maybe
marriage -> no

[parity]

I fully agree with you here Kaka Ji :)
I have said it many times on this platform that i dont believe in generalisation n always try my best to remain untouched from this generalisation thing :) I wasnt talking generally i was talking about the most of youngsters.
Yeah every single thing happens on this Universe is because of GOD's wish but many of us dont accept that :rolleyes:
Aur remaining sabhi who believe in GOD's power want to try. Obviously we should as GOD also needs a medium to do things :)
U r a grown up man :) this is ur view point, right ?!
Its not what happens at the end, its what boys prefer :confused:
Thanx for ur honest reply Kaka Ji :)
Now i understud y people call u "Kaka Ji" :D

[parity]

Very well said Sir :)
Xactly education n family bakground plays an very imp role in setting the antennae of a person :D but sometimes ye bi fail ho jata hai :D
Thank u for sharing ur views Sir :)

[parity]

Xactly Mr Singh :) Males normally go for beauty n females Presentability :cool: i also said this thing but in different words :)
And these two terms are very different :)

[parity]

Thank u all for ur time :)
Only males have posted their views no female :( chalo no problem.

almost everybody believes that females also go for external attributes :D But if u see matrimonial advertisement in any newspaper, 1 thin is common :
Wanted Bride section :-
Tall, b'ful, smart grl for...

Wanted Groom section:-
Suit match for....... or Well settled for......

i again dnt generalise, but normally grls see "personality" ( Mr Singh also mentioned this thing )
I try to define personality here :-
The term "Personality" is derived from latin word "Persona" which means a mask worn by an actor while he plays a particular character on the stage. It suggests that the personality shud mean the characteristics pattern or style of behaviour of the person as is revealed thru his external n internal properties. The external properties include a persons's dress, speech, bodily actions, postures, habits n expressions. The internal properties are his motives, emotions, percepts, intentions etc
If u notice physical appearance is not mentioned anywhere.
I fully agree with Rajesh Sir that education plays a big role. But now-a-days professionally well settled males demand on these terms more ( apni shaqal bina dekhe ) Somehow we have started respecting materialistically established ppl. Its a show off world. So i think this view of youngsters is justificable :rolleyes:
Also in arrange marriage, boys only focus on appearance, their logic; u cant know more than this in 15-20 min. I dnt agree with this.
If u realy want u can know more from the words a person uses, the way he shows his/her respect 4 u, dressing sense, his/her body language n all.
I give an example, whenever i see Rajesh Sir's photo i find him as follows :
A sober, simple n intellectual man - coz of the color of his jacket n shirt
Sensible n thinker - coz of his smyl, eyes
Mannered n responsible - coz of his hair style
I m sorry Rajesh Sir, if u feel bad here that i am analysing u publically but Sir with due respect. I just tried to give n example.
I dnt say i will be right ( only Rajesh Sir can tell that :D ) But this way somethins can be known about a person. Please note that i didnt mention the quality or label of his clothes coz it doesnt matter. Doesnt matter how much u r spending, dikhta bas ye hai kaise n kis par spend kiya, the colors of clothes, combination, style n all. But as i av heard Males normally dnt consider these factors :D

[chhillar]

I think we are assuming a little too much here or we are talking about exceptions because I don't see too many blind people who go just for skin, money, family or brain. Normally, I repeat normally people look for a balance according to their own 'needs'....yes needs

I don't see anything wrong in looking for a beautiful and intelligent girl from an educated, rich and powerful family.

In fact that's what we all do including the 'parchaaris'

[ritu]

maaf karna sukrma .but mere teri baat samjh si me na ayi ek traf t tu nu kahve se ki looks should not be important er oppar t tu rajesh ke pahnve se oske character ne interpret kare se.very very contradictary:cool: :p .looks definately matter karte h male ho chahe female ho.arrange marriges me ghar bar to gharale dekhlete h baki shakl to ladka ladki hi dekhte h.looks definately matter.me 5 ft 5 inches ke nobel prize winner bhi hota agar ladka to osse kabhi shadi na karti.yes everybody has some personal preferences .ab chahe ose height kah lo ya color kahlo.



Thank u all for ur time :)
Only males have posted their views no female :( chalo no problem.

I give an example, whenever i see Rajesh Sir's photo i find him as follows :[/FONT]
A sober, simple n intellectual man - coz of the color of his jacket n shirt
Sensible n thinker - coz of his smyl, eyes
Mannered n responsible - coz of his hair style
I m sorry Rajesh Sir, if u feel bad here that i am analysing u publically but Sir with due respect. I just tried to give n example.

I dnt say i will be right ( only Rajesh Sir can tell that :D ) But this way somethins can be known about a person. Please note that i didnt mention the quality or label of his clothes coz it doesnt matter. Doesnt matter how much u r spending, dikhta bas ye hai kaise n kis par spend kiya, the colors of clothes, combination, style n all. But as i av heard Males normally dnt consider these factors :D
[/COLOR][/COLOR]

[trueblueindian]

yess looks does matter, par dimaag oae tala pad jaata hai, jab yeh descesion lena hota hai, jab tou sirf intution aage aati hai,we all feel diffrently whn things do so deep, according to me no one can beat destiny, come wot may, soch lyo jisne jo sochna sae, after all thats all we can do....hahahhahaa

leave all this, concentrate on ur values n lives it may be benefecia, after ll who r we too choose, corore ladke/ladkiyon mei se khuch hi rishte kyun aate hai????????? have faith in GOD, we all are gonna be happpy one day.

[devdahiya]

Looking for,desiring,aiming and wantings have hardly any relevence to what one gets.Marriage is a lottery and if you happen to get a good soul your life will be good else your money,power and what have you has no meaning in the ultimate analysis.Let us tolerate people's opinion and not be sacastic about some one's feelings.

[parity]

Ritu ji please read my last post again then u wud get it :D
Pehnaava shakal me konya aata, personality me aave hai :)
N personality, i av quoted a definition there from a buk.
Ritu Ji v arnt talking here about factors to be considered for a marriage, we were discussing on a famous saying, that males give more priority to beauty in their lyf partners, it doesnt matter whether arrange marriage or luv. Aap ne shayad starting se post nahi dekhi :)
Thanx for your views :)


[quote=ritu;123821]maaf karna sukrma .but mere teri baat samjh si me na ayi ek traf t tu nu kahve se ki looks should not be important er oppar t tu rajesh ke pahnve se oske character ne interpret kare se.very very contradictary:cool: :p .looks definately matter karte h male ho chahe female ho.arrange marriges me ghar bar to gharale dekhlete h baki shakl to ladka ladki hi dekhte h.looks definately matter.me 5 ft 5 inches ke nobel prize winner bhi hota agar ladka to osse kabhi shadi na karti.yes everybody has some personal preferences .ab chahe ose height kah lo ya color kahlo.

[parity]

Let us tolerate people's opinion and not be sacastic about some one's feelings.

Kaka Ji, i completely agree with you here :)
We should accept others views whether we agree or not. Discussion means expressing & respecting others expression.
Disagreement always fine but not disrespect.
We should have the sense to disagree, courage to accept & greatness to respect :)

[chhillar]

Looking for,desiring,aiming and wantings have hardly any relevence to what one gets.Marriage is a lottery and if you happen to get a good soul your life will be good else your money,power and what have you has no meaning in the ultimate analysis.Let us tolerate people's opinion and not be sacastic about some one's feelings.
Looking for,desiring,aiming and wantings have hardly any relevence to what one gets...DISAGREED it does have relevance to what one gets, obviously no one always gets what he desires but relevance is always there...less or more

Marriage is a lottery and if you happen to get a good soul your life will be good else your money,power and what have you has no meaning in the ultimate analysis.....AGREED!!!

Let us tolerate people's opinion and not be sacastic about some one's feelings...AGREED AGREED!!!

[cooljat]

Dear SukarmaJi,
Ram Ram

Q: Is this true that Male species concentrate more on outer beauty when they go for partner searching ??
A: No, I dont think so.


Well, I think male species rather go for gud combo of Beauty+Brains but I doubt about Female species as I find every female far more matrialistic then males, so they need all,- handsome hunk, gud salary, gud repo & lot more. :) :) :)


thats all!



Rock on
Jit

[dndeswal]

Q: Is this true that Male species concentrate more on outer beauty when they go for partner searching ??
A: No, I dont think so.

Well, I think male species rather go for gud combo of Beauty+Brains but I doubt about Female species as I find every female far more matrialistic then males, so they need all,- handsome hunk, gud salary, gud repo & lot more. :) :) :)
Rock on
Jit


Well Jit, let me remind you thread The Husband Store! (http://www.jatland.com/forums/showthread.php?t=12060&highlight=Husband+Store) :p :p
.

[devdahiya]

Well Jit, let me remind you thread The Husband Store! (http://www.jatland.com/forums/showthread.php?t=12060&highlight=Husband+Store) :p :p
.



DND ji, here question was different..'It was a poser from girls as to whether boys give preference to the colour of the skin while deciding their partener' and hence answers/debate too needs to be foccused upon there.We may like to have a seperate thread from Male side if we so desire to get veiws of both sides.Thanks..!

[parity]

Kaka, Deswal Ji moderator se na ! Jyan te me te boli ae konya ;) kade ban na kar den :D eb aap ne kah di te main bi kahongi :D
Very well said by Kaka Ji, Deswal Sir.
I have clarified this thing earlier also, we are not (particularly) talking about Marriage, The topic of discussion is ; is it right to say that Boys focus more on Physical attributes than girls ?

NO GENERALISATIONS

[parity]

Well Jit Bhai, its all about personal view point. But still, wud u please explain that matri add thing ( which i av mentioned here ) to me ????

NO GENERALISATION