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nmalik121
April 16th, 2007, 04:22 PM
http://img187.imageshack.us/img187/48/lovedd6.gif

As they say, it was official now. We were not anymore in a relationship. Our 4-years long love relationship collapsed. I was seeing it coming. However, when it came, it was quite tough to face it. We loved each-other and took vows to stay together until death do us apart (YES, we watched a lot of our infamous BOLLYWOOD movies). It seems now that all those pledges belonged to historical Roman’s days.

Today, circumstances have changed, and so we too. To me, she was dumping me and for her, we were having a mutually-accepted break-up. Shefali wanted to continue casual friendship after her so-called break-up. On the other hand, I, a simple and straight guy, found it too hot to be friend with my girl friend, oops, sorry………. ex-girl friend.

Shefali’s mother wanted her to marry some software geek working at MICROSOFT or some other place. Her mother had seen herself compromising all life with her clerk husband’s meager salary. But she had different plans for her daughter. For her, I was a guy good for nothing who earns hardly Rs. 6,000. My 4-digits salary in rupees couldn’t challenge the storm of 6-digit salary in dollars. Shefali literally lived in the shadow of her mother. On the top of that, my frustration over not so rocking career, made it almost impossible for us to connect with each-other.

She decided to meet to call it off permanently. I was bit confused about this meeting. My point: Why to meet for saying GOODBYE, when it is obvious to both of us. Should I go, hug her and make a speech about her diminishing importance in my life and give her a farewell party? As you know, girls would be girls. Shefali also knows very well to get her ways, at least with me.

Delhi Haat, a favorite hang-out place for teenage lovers with cheap food and decent crowd around, today it is going to be a mute spectator of a break-up. Winter season was at its peak in January. Really tell you, winters in Delhi just sucks. I reached at the right time. I sat on a concrete stand situated at the center of the Delhi Haat. Looking around other couples, I started feeling bit nostalgic.

In the meanwhile, Shefali came and broke my chain of thoughts. As usual, Shefali was 15 minutes late. Wearing a white suit with black jeans, and blue shawl, unlocked hairs, composed facial expressions gave her a look of some beautiful, dignified female judge of some High Court. I was surprised with this strange imagination in this kind of situation.

Shefali: How are you?

Me: Do I need to answer? You know I hate these silly formal questions.

Shefali: OK…aaaaaaaaaaaYYY (stretching voice in her typical girlish way)

Me: Anyway, now what you expect me to say?

Shefali: Well...(choosing words carefully) since we have spent really good time together, you have been a great support to me and a very important part of my life. So, it would be better to be genuine friends from now on instead of cutting off completely. We share common friends, so it is obvious that will meet again and again. I hope you understand.

(It was her calmness that made me uncomfortable. She was showing altogether new side of her personality, unknown to me.)

Me: Noooooooo. I don't understand. (Spoke at such a high pitch of voice, that everyone around us looked at me, sensing that something is wrong with this guy, may be ditching her girl friend.) I really don’t understand. Why should we meet again, when we have nothing to do with each-other? I don’t want continuous conflicts.

(She began sobbing. Again I had to bear those “I knew you are the culprit” looks from other couples around us. Now, certainly I was the villain of this not-so-fairy tale.)

Me: Please don’t cry. I ammmmmmmm……………..sorry Shefu. I didn’t mean to hurt you but… (Looking for words in mind…..trust me, guys just don’t know what to say when girls begin to cry.)

Shefali: Please understand, I can’t live with this feeling of guilt forever. (I was shocked to hear that she was feeling guilty for breaking up. I just melted down like butterscotch.)

Me: Okay….. (With a wry smile on face to console her and perhaps myself too, but sadness in eyes was telling a different story.)

Within past 10 minutes, a long phase of my life has passed with a pinch of salt and YES…hurt also. She went and I was standing there alone. It’s all come down to this -- the sad moment when you sign on to the face book and change your relationship status from "In a Relationship" to "Single."

yatinder19
April 16th, 2007, 04:54 PM
Very touchy story...

neels
April 16th, 2007, 11:43 PM
Adapted from "One Night @ the Call Center".........isnt it writer sahb...!!!!

nmalik121
April 17th, 2007, 10:46 AM
Hi Ms Rathee,

2- to 4 similar sentences dont make a complete adaptation. And this is a real-life incident that i have penned in. I have taken liberties with the settings and have changed the reason for break up (that part is the adaption from that story, since money is basic root cause of many evils in our society) otherwise rest is nothing to do with any other piece of article. Where as regarding origanilty, u wait for my next number of articles, and then make a judgement. Remember, it is never wise to judge people too soon. Though i appreciate that i have found one critic who is really good at reading. However, in ur last line, "isnt it writer sahb...!!!!" sarcisam was at its worst. Anyway, i am a strong believer of democracy. Everyone has right to express his/her thoughts and criticise, especially, when she is partly right.

I would love to have your comments on my next piece of articles.

Thanks for a patient reading.

Regards,
Nitin Malik.

harvindermalik
April 17th, 2007, 01:06 PM
araiiiiiiiiiiiiiii…shahida gail mazaak na karya karte… ek to chhora ghayal… upper tai uske ghav pai namak chidko so….
Bhai malik…kahani sachchi hai ya nhi…ya kisi book se koi line li hai ya nhi…doesn’t matter… you have symptoms and sensibility of a writer (very rare in Jats)… continue writing … will wait more from your side……..

neels
April 17th, 2007, 02:31 PM
Hi Ms Rathee,

2- to 4 similar sentences dont make a complete adaptation. And this is a real-life incident that i have penned in. I have taken liberties with the settings and have changed the reason for break up (that part is the adaption from that story, since money is basic root cause of many evils in our society) otherwise rest is nothing to do with any other piece of article. Where as regarding origanilty, u wait for my next number of articles, and then make a judgement. Remember, it is never wise to judge people too soon. Though i appreciate that i have found one critic who is really good at reading. However, in ur last line, "isnt it writer sahb...!!!!" sarcisam was at its worst. Anyway, i am a strong believer of democracy. Everyone has right to express his/her thoughts and criticise, especially, when she is partly right.

I would love to have your comments on my next piece of articles.

Thanks for a patient reading.

Regards,
Nitin Malik.

Hi Nitin,

First of all I never meant to be sarcastic, it was light humor, plagiarism on jatland is seen sometimes. Nothing to offend. Nor I was judgemental about you, yea I was about the article. It may be a real life incident as such incidences are very common in life, but as you have represented it, its very much similar to the setting n scene in One Night........,,even the thoughts of people around there,,,, so to me it seems close imitation rather than inspired.

I ve gone thru all the posts by you,,,, which shows thoughtful mind n nice write ups. Keep It Up !!!

nmalik121
April 17th, 2007, 03:58 PM
Hi Harvinder Bhai,

Thanks a lot for ur unconditioanl support and sincere compliments to my writing skills. Feels great to hear some motivational words.

Regards,
Nitin Malik

kabir
April 19th, 2007, 02:00 AM
She decided to meet to call it off permanently. I was bit confused about this meeting. My point: Why to meet for saying GOODBYE, when it is obvious to both of us. Should I go, hug her and make a speech about her diminishing importance in my life and give her a farewell party? As you know, girls would be girls. Shefali also knows very well to get her ways, at least with me.

Delhi Haat, a favorite hang-out place for teenage lovers with cheap food and decent crowd around, today it is going to be a mute spectator of a break-up. Winter season was at its peak in January. Really tell you, winters in Delhi just sucks. I reached at the right time. I sat on a concrete stand situated at the center of the Delhi Haat. Looking around other couples, I started feeling bit nostalgic.

In the meanwhile, Shefali came and broke my chain of thoughts. As usual, Shefali was 15 minutes late. Wearing a white suit with black jeans, and blue shawl, unlocked hairs, composed facial expressions gave her a look of some beautiful, dignified female judge of some High Court. I was surprised with this strange imagination in this kind of situation.

Shefali: How are you?................

Me: Okay….. (With a wry smile on face to console her and perhaps myself too, but sadness in eyes was telling a different story.)

Within past 10 minutes, a long phase of my life has passed with a pinch of salt and YES…hurt also. She went and I was standing there alone. It’s all come down to this -- the sad moment when you sign on to the face book and change your relationship status from "In a Relationship" to "Single."

Indeed your own (as you said) and very well penned, but does remind me of Chetan Bhagat's writing style. Might just be a coincidence? Can't say.

Anyway, it is no plagiarism, in any sense of the term. For if it is, Mr Bhagat could himself be charged of the same. The way he narrates story in his best-seller Five Point Someone, it all but reminds me of JD Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye.