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desijat
September 6th, 2007, 12:02 AM
I am currently working on a project with UNICEF on NEONATAL problem and while the interaction i tried to find more about our region and surprisingly the gentlmen from UNICEF knew Baghpat pretty well.

What he shared is true for allmost all of UP and Haryana, he shared his concerns over low women:men ratio in the region. He has claimed it to be roughly around 550 females per 1000 males in the region which is like one woman on every 2 men.... Shocking is it?

However he jokingly said that soon guys from your belt will go to Assam in search of brides but the statasticks he has put forward really raised a concern for me. I am sure senior members of Jatland can suggest some way or other to highlight the problem to the right people or suggest right way to address this problem.

poonam
September 6th, 2007, 12:17 AM
Hon de nae low ratio, aan de chhoreeya kae bhee jeesay. Unki bhi thodi value badh len de, dekhta jayeeye eeb dahej ki demand chhoree ale karenge….hahah:o

Well, jokes apart, this is no novel problem, had been there for quite sometime but now, for sure, is alarming and still the female foeticide is on rise. What a shame on us!!
And what have we done other than turning a blind eye. I don’t know what we can do either. I believe, perhaps, its each one of us who is supposed to take care and do it in our own lil' way, take care of it in your own family first, repect and provide opportunities to the girls equally. I mean just to do it at a micro level first and the things will change eventually.

sidchhikara
September 6th, 2007, 04:12 AM
This situation will get worse if the really poor people in Bihar, Orissa etc etc can get enough money for gender diagnosis and abortion - unless the girls family can make a windfall when they sell the girl to grooms from other regions.
So, Vikas you can do a cost-benefit analysis - cost of raising a girl till marriageable age (which is again a variable) VS. price of sale. This will turn this social dilemma (to kill or not to kill!!) into a neat economics equation.

For the immediate future there is no cause for alarm - lets sit back, relax and enjoy!

I am a big fan of the human species - especially my own gender. I think Darwin might have meant something different when he used 'evolution' in his work.

BTW, Where is that meteorite? Whoever is shooting them has a bad aim.

sidchhikara
September 6th, 2007, 04:31 AM
For the men in Baghpat from the women in Baghpat..........I present here a faithful rendition of Pink's (pic attached) song - U and Ur Hand Tonite!!

Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh
Check it out
Going out
On the late night
Looking tight
Feeling nice
It's a cock fight
I can tell
I just know
That it's going down
Tonight
At the door we don't wait cause we know them
At the bar six shots just beginning
That's when **** head put his hands on me
But you see
I'm not here for your entertainment
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it is over
Before it began
Keep your drink just give me the money
It's just you and your hand tonight
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh
Midnight
I'm drunk
I don't give a ****
Wanna dance
By myself
Guess you're outta luck
Don't touch
Back up
I'm not the one
Buh bye
Listen up it's just not happening
You can say what you want to your boyfriends
Just let me have my fun tonight
Aiight
I'm not here for your entertainment
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it is over
Before it began
Keep your drink just give me the money
It's just you and your hand tonight
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh
Break break
Break it down
In the corner with your boys you bet up five bucks
To get at the girl that just walked in but she thinks you suck
We didn't get all dressed up just for you to see
So quit spilling your drinks on me yeah
You know who you are
High fivin, talkin ****, but you're going home alone arentcha?
Cause I'm not here for your entertainment
No
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
(Just stop and take a second)
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it is over
(Know it is over)
Before it began
Keep your drink just give me the money
It's just you and your hand tonight
(It's just you and your hand)
I'm not here for your entertainment
(No no no)
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
(Just take a second)
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it is over
Before it begans
Keep your drink just give me the money
It's just you and your hand tonight
Yeah oh

skarmveer
September 6th, 2007, 10:54 AM
Aesa pahli baar nahi ho raha hai, Itihaas main easa hota raha hai or fir youdh hua hai shadi key liyea, Ladkiyu key sawyamber hua kartey thai or jesay ladkee pasand karti thee yaa jo jayada gunwan, balwan hota tha usee say shadi hoti thee. Mein to chahta hun wo din fir aayea or in dahej lobhiyo kee
shadiya bhee na ho tab kanhi aurat ko samman mil payaga. Its a cycle and
cycle not stoped till the univers exist. In my thoughts ladies are more responcible for every misbehaviour, women foeticide, Dowery or the problem related to the birth of a girl child in other words "aurat hee aurat kee sabsay badi dushman hai"

Dahej key liyea sabsay jayada Saas bahu say ladti hai, Beti paida hone per
sabsay jada shor auratey hee machati hai, Shadi say pahle ladkee napasand karney mean sabsay agey aurtey hai, keyu why ?

Regards

devdahiya
September 6th, 2007, 12:14 PM
Satyanass ki pehli seedhhi hei ye.

neels
September 6th, 2007, 01:13 PM
Really an issue of serious concern. Can't say which way things will take turn, good or bad for females. A movie "Matribhoomi" was based on this very issue.. what will happen when their wont be any girls. THou' the movie was very crude and repulsive but the theme was of genuine concern. It was about a village, where not a single female is left. After seeing the movie, I was forced to think whether the situation will be of Importance for the girls... OR it ll make their condition more vulnerable !!!

sunitahooda
September 6th, 2007, 02:41 PM
If there's such a big difference then How parents still marry off their 17-18 year old daughter to a man of 40 Years with 2 kids?:o are these parents too pessimistic not to find a suitable match for their daughter or they are lazy/reluctant to do so?

dahiyars
September 6th, 2007, 05:55 PM
Dear All
Exposure and visibility for Haryana on the map of economic development has boosted the image of Haryana. At the same time the social indicators like sex ratio has defamed it in the world.On one side it is becoming very much part of Global community as the National Capital Region has encaged Faridabad, Gurgaon, Part of Jhajhar, Rohtak, Sonepat and Panipat districts and Print media has a much larger coverage in Haryana in comparision to states like Madhaya Pardesh. On other side the closed society of Haryana could adopt new techniques in the field of Agriculture and increase the production of grains.Sulphos poisioning is on increase. This development has been inherently combined with the negative effects like increased pollution of land, water and environment.The technology part of science has got assimilated in the day today life of Haryana and gone down upto the villages but not the science and scientific method as such became the way of day today life. With lack of scientific temper and believer in old concepts of orthodox philosophy, the Haryanvi mind set is still having strong preferance for “Sons” at the cost of “Daughters”.The birth of a son is celebrated with beating of Thali and the birth of a girl is celebrated (rather repented )by breaking a Earthern pot. Sixth day celebration is done in acase of Boy. namkaran Sanskar is done for boy. The Agni to the funeral is given by a boy not girl. Is it the question of capability? When she can burn tons of wood in cooking meals. Also the outer face has changed with time but not the inner face. Eqality also demand equal share in property. How many of us are ready to start from our side? Mind set has to be changed. We are doing this through cultural means for the last many years. Cultural Change is a complex process.The modern thaught has not percolated in to the minds. The humanistic values of modern civic society are very much lacking. The farmers are committing suicides. Can we call this model of development as the Ideal or sustainable model of development?

R.S.Dahiya

desijat
September 6th, 2007, 06:09 PM
"aurat hee aurat kee sabsay badi dushman hai"


Well Said

But coming back to topic i would like to know if it is among Jats in perticular or other races too that this sought of a fashion is prevailing because figures speak about a region per say and not an individual race

Maniisha
September 6th, 2007, 06:35 PM
Dear All
Exposure and visibility for Haryana on the map of economic development has boosted the image of Haryana. At the same time the social indicators like sex ratio has defamed it in the world.On one side it is becoming very much part of Global community as the National Capital Region has encaged Faridabad, Gurgaon, Part of Jhajhar, Rohtak, Sonepat and Panipat districts and Print media has a much larger coverage in Haryana in comparision to states like Madhaya Pardesh. On other side the closed society of Haryana could adopt new techniques in the field of Agriculture and increase the production of grains.Sulphos poisioning is on increase. This development has been inherently combined with the negative effects like increased pollution of land, water and environment.The technology part of science has got assimilated in the day today life of Haryana and gone down upto the villages but not the science and scientific method as such became the way of day today life. With lack of scientific temper and believer in old concepts of orthodox philosophy, the Haryanvi mind set is still having strong preferance for “Sons” at the cost of “Daughters”.The birth of a son is celebrated with beating of Thali and the birth of a girl is celebrated (rather repented )by breaking a Earthern pot. Sixth day celebration is done in acase of Boy. namkaran Sanskar is done for boy. The Agni to the funeral is given by a boy not girl. Is it the question of capability? When she can burn tons of wood in cooking meals. Also the outer face has changed with time but not the inner face. Eqality also demand equal share in property. How many of us are ready to start from our side? Mind set has to be changed. We are doing this through cultural means for the last many years. Cultural Change is a complex process.The modern thaught has not percolated in to the minds. The humanistic values of modern civic society are very much lacking. The farmers are committing suicides. Can we call this model of development as the Ideal or sustainable model of development?

R.S.Dahiya

As Dahiya ji said technology has already percolated into the haryanavis day to day but only physically mentally still they are the same old man with mindset of barbarian thats y the tales of foetus killings, dowry deaths still haunt us to till date. So if we all want to see some change in the male female ratio of the land the need is to change our mindsets.
Anything is possible only when people change their mindsets about the girl child . Foetus killings are high in the region so the need is to stop that first and tell people abt the importance of having girl child. The indian govt should toughen the laws for the same something equal to 14 years in prison or so like life term for such killings also then only people will come to their senses. Although if greedy doctors, corrupt policemen and useless lawmakers are around still things will continue but the average man will think twice to take the risk.

dahiyars
September 6th, 2007, 09:12 PM
Dear Vikas

Myself and Sabu george did a stuty of female foeticide in Rural Haryana in six Villages of Rohtak District at that time and now Rohtak and Jhajhar.Total Population covered was more than 13ooo. We had interveiw of more than 1022 eligible women who had conceived in last five years to know the pregnancy outcome in them. In upper castes mainly Jats and Yadavs The Sex Ratio at Birth was 1.27 , in Harijans it was 1.02 and in All castes it was 1.20.Son Preferance was revealing in this study.Some women got aborted even at First Pregnancy when they came to know the sex of child is girl.
Very revealing perceptions of women were observed in this study.
This is regarding the particular question of sex ratio in Jats . I donot have any other referance in this regard.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Something more on the issue

Women are worshipped and revered in every form in India. For the women she symbolizes courage & strength in the form of “Shakti”, “Durga”, “Kali”, Vindhyavasini”, “Saptshringhi”, “Vaishnodevi” who crushed demons, asuras, rakshas and all form of evil in the world to usher harmony in the universe. She is also “Saraswati” the goddess of learning & fine arts. And she is also “Mahalaxmi” the goddess of wealth and prosperity who is worshipped every day. In modern times, India enjoyed for the first time in the world; the unenviable record of electing for several years in a row a woman Prime Minister. Mrs. Indira Gandhi gave India a firm leadership for many years in a row; and currently the Indian parliament is considering reserving over 40% elected posts for the women.

Besides religious inclinations; women have always been accorded a highly revered status in every relationship—that of the mother, sister and wife-- in the Indian society. Some states in the country follow a matriarch cal system whereby all family decisions must have the acceptance of the women of the house who also enjoy property inheritance rights. The divorce rates have been one of the lowest in the world—over 97-98% marriages survive lifelong in India—women have been increasingly highest positions in the political as well as in the corporate and business world.
Yet these progressive developments cannot hide one of the worst impending ”gender” crisis India is facing the rapid depletion of women’s population. The official census of the Govt. of India have revealed a sharp decline in the sex ratio of children in the 0-6 age group in the 10 years since the last census (from 945 to 927 females pr 1000 males)

R.S.Dahiya

vairesatendra
September 8th, 2007, 02:35 AM
Dear All
Exposure and visibility for Haryana on the map of economic development has boosted the image of Haryana. At the same time the social indicators like sex ratio has defamed it in the world.On one side it is becoming very much part of Global community as the National Capital Region has encaged Faridabad, Gurgaon, Part of Jhajhar, Rohtak, Sonepat and Panipat districts and Print media has a much larger coverage in Haryana in comparision to states like Madhaya Pardesh. On other side the closed society of Haryana could adopt new techniques in the field of Agriculture and increase the production of grains.Sulphos poisioning is on increase. This development has been inherently combined with the negative effects like increased pollution of land, water and environment.The technology part of science has got assimilated in the day today life of Haryana and gone down upto the villages but not the science and scientific method as such became the way of day today life. With lack of scientific temper and believer in old concepts of orthodox philosophy, the Haryanvi mind set is still having strong preferance for “Sons” at the cost of “Daughters”.The birth of a son is celebrated with beating of Thali and the birth of a girl is celebrated (rather repented )by breaking a Earthern pot. Sixth day celebration is done in acase of Boy. namkaran Sanskar is done for boy. The Agni to the funeral is given by a boy not girl. Is it the question of capability? When she can burn tons of wood in cooking meals. Also the outer face has changed with time but not the inner face. Eqality also demand equal share in property. How many of us are ready to start from our side? Mind set has to be changed. We are doing this through cultural means for the last many years. Cultural Change is a complex process.The modern thaught has not percolated in to the minds. The humanistic values of modern civic society are very much lacking. The farmers are committing suicides. Can we call this model of development as the Ideal or sustainable model of development?

R.S.Dahiya

Just a fortnight back there was a detailed report of one page in the TOI New Delhi with an alarming heading, i.e. JAT grooms seeking bride from KERALA

It was really disgusting to see the alarming facts about the Haryana there. The situation is so worst that JATs are not getting brides and the condition is most alarming in the ROHTAK.

I real feel proud to know that JAT dominated areas (Punjab, Haryana, Western U.P., Rajasthan and so on) has the greatest per capita income but still the two states viz. Punjab and Haryana has the worst sex ratio.

Is this the literacy has taught us so far in the 60 years???

Its time to think seriously, otherwise everthing will be gone

amitabh4ever
September 9th, 2007, 01:08 AM
it is true that this is occurring in the baghpat area. the ratios may be exaggerated but still the change is very obvious. i am from the baghpat area, gaon dhikoli, 7km southeast of baghpat. the number is thus far accurate and i have seen murders in my own village of girls for supposedly "ruining the family's izzat". false accusations such as these allow the family to force the girl to committ suicide or plain murder. the law isn't enforced and the police are bribed. this inevitably ties back to the corruption in the gov't because they don't do anything. this is murder of our daughters, sisters, bhabhis, and mothers. most of the time the people that are committing these acts are the family that are very deceptive themselves. i think the problem may also be related to the dowry system. the families that are poor can't afford to give a decent dowry, thus the result is emabarrassment of the family, and which often leads to death of someone. now, the ratio is so high of boys to girls, it is very common to see many men in families that are not married. these are capable jat men who are single (kuware, randwe) because they can't find wives. in my very own family, (mere tau ka ladka), he bought a wife from bihar because he couldn't find a wife. also he is very ugly and illiterate, but that's besides the point. in conclusion, this is something that must be addressed by and needs attention.

deepshi
September 9th, 2007, 04:10 AM
ee bebe eebey us din me ghanii e centuries lagengi---haha
jib lag te mhjaari duniya duub e jaagi- Global Warming te che kyahey orr tey..:D

v need 2 pay heed rite nw!
Hon de nae low ratio, aan de chhoreeya kae bhee jeesay. Unki bhi thodi value badh len de, dekhta jayeeye eeb dahej ki demand chhoree ale karenge….hahah:o

Well, jokes apart, this is no novel problem, had been there for quite sometime but now, for sure, is alarming and still the female foeticide is on rise. What a shame on us!!
And what have we done other than turning a blind eye. I don’t know what we can do either. I believe, perhaps, its each one of us who is supposed to take care and do it in our own lil' way, take care of it in your own family first, repect and provide opportunities to the girls equally. I mean just to do it at a micro level first and the things will change eventually.

minnibamel
September 10th, 2007, 02:31 PM
Hello all
Yes,this is not only happening in Bhagpat.In the villages of Haryana also...a lot of Haryanvi boys are getting married to these girls.They are buying brides from Aasam,Tripura,Karela,Bihar and Urissa.and even when I was I India I have seen that if that girl is not adjusting herself in the new environment(in Haryana)then you can send her back or she can go back and you can get the new groom and no need to pay extra money for the new one.In India ..I remember one event in my hospital… two haryanvi men were talking to each other.One was 50 years old and her wife was 20 years old(he just get married 1 month back with one Bihari girl).Other was asking to him..manne bhi bata yaar mein bhi ib tak kunwara hoon..Then second said ....bhai dekh le iski tau ki chori hai 20-22 saal ki tu kehve to mein baat karoon….pur thodi goj dhili karne ne tyaar hoja..then first said again ...pur mere yaar teri gharaali nu to thik hai pur ek to kad ki thodi choti hai aur doosra madi bahoot hai..then married man said.. dekh le bahi “frame” to yoh hi milega tanne byah karna ho to bata….So I am scared that in future our race or in his words,we can say frame will change to some extent because now number of harvanvi boys are getting married with these girls..and one more thing I have seen that Haryanvi boys take care of these girls..they themselves are non vegetarian but they are cooking fish or buying fish and other non veg for those girls..Because these girls like non-veg food.And our Haryanvi boys fulfill their all demand….even Haryanvi boys are not very happy with these girls..but they have no way..and still these boys are also not understanding the situation because they are repeating the same.When their wife get pregnant ,they are going to doctor to know the foetal sex and if foetus is female they are going to hospital for foeticide…really heart throbbing..mujhe to samajh hi nahi aata ki agar wo khud ab larki ko aane se pahle marva denge to future mein apne larke ke liye Haryanvi dulhan kahan se layange………:confused::confused:
Rajni Bamel

dahiyars
September 24th, 2007, 11:57 PM
A Survey was done in 12 villages in 2004. The Process has increased many folds these years. No body from those Khap panchayats leaders is questioning this Kharid Fharokhat.

Village Name Women Brought( Bought) from other States
1.Baliyana 10
2.Devsar (Bhiwani) 2
3.Bhartana (Jind) 9
4.Bahuakbarpur 10
(Rohtak)
5.LalitKhera (Jind) 1
6.Talav (Jhajjar) 2
7.Nayabas 4
(Rohtak)
8.Saiman(Rohtak) 2
9.Jindran(Rohtak) 3
10.Ghuskani(Rtk) Nil
11.Kultana(Rtk) 4
12.Nigana(Rtk) 3
R.S.Dahiya

chhavi
September 28th, 2007, 04:25 PM
I am currently working on a project with UNICEF on NEONATAL problem and while the interaction i tried to find more about our region and surprisingly the gentlmen from UNICEF knew Baghpat pretty well.

What he shared is true for allmost all of UP and Haryana, he shared his concerns over low women:men ratio in the region. He has claimed it to be roughly around 550 females per 1000 males in the region which is like one woman on every 2 men.... Shocking is it?

However he jokingly said that soon guys from your belt will go to Assam in search of brides but the statasticks he has put forward really raised a concern for me. I am sure senior members of Jatland can suggest some way or other to highlight the problem to the right people or suggest right way to address this problem.
This is a matter of concern for certain provinces in India. I would like to share few positive things which we have to realize. The first thing the people from the grass root level are accepting the brides from different communities allowing the union of different cultures, language, food etc Unity at this level should be promoted by promoting the positive attitude.

The harsh realty otherwise is that in most cases people from two different provinces who want to spend their life together have to face some troublesome situations posed by the family, relatives and the socity.

The other point is buying a bride, if our society can give a more respectable term to (buy and sell), no wonder every one will apperciate. Across the world, these things happen but the people have not misused it (e,g in South African black culture, they call it Lobola (dahej in hindi) where a marriage is fixed between two families and its the grooms family who give some money to the brides parents thanking them for raising up the girl). The bride and the groom always recieve some gifts from the family and friends so that they can embark upon a new journey together.

In Indian scenario society play around the words and misuse the same words for their own selfish purposes.

dahiyars
September 28th, 2007, 04:54 PM
Resp Chhavi ji
Both the facts that on one side we are doing selective sex abortion and on the other side we are purchasing a women are very humiliating to the womanhood. This cannot not be said the positive point that a positive cutlture will emerge. I doubt it very much.

R.S.Dahiya

chhavi
September 28th, 2007, 07:57 PM
Resp Chhavi ji
Both the facts that on one side we are doing selective sex abortion and on the other side we are purchasing a women are very humiliating to the womanhood. This cannot not be said the positive point that a positive cutlture will emerge. I doubt it very much.

R.S.Dahiya
Respected Dahiya ji

I strongly agree with your point that selective abortion is an absolute sin and I can not see any positive point in it.

To be very precise with my point what I said is that people in the villages are accepting brides (buying or whatever) from other states / provinces due to the lack of women .

Had there been no such necessity occured, the society of any such state would not have ever agreed for a girl from other state, not even for the sake of two mature persons who want to spend their lives together.

The social evils (selective abortion or Dahej) exist because we allow them to exists. It is difficult to uplift the society but it is not impossible. If every individual contribute towards a positive scenario (eradication / uprooting the factors that are killing the moral values) , no wonder our society will give our younger generation a better platform to grow.

I hope you shall not disagree.

Once again I appereciate your comment!

poonam
September 29th, 2007, 01:03 AM
A movie "Matribhoomi" was based on this very issue.. what will happen when their wont be any girls. THou' the movie was very crude and repulsive but the theme was of genuine concern. It was about a village, where not a single female is left. After seeing the movie, I was forced to think whether the situation will be of Importance for the girls... OR it ll make their condition more vulnerable !!!

Right Neelam! I had seen the movie sometime back on a friend's recommendation and I was left with the similar feelings you mentioned.

Though it was quite an extrapolation and overstretched imagination but may be a possibility in future if we dont realise the ugliness of the issue now.

And as regards to "whether the situation will be of Importance for the girls... OR it ll make their condition more vulnerable ", my take would be its gonna make it more vulnerable coz how much we shout of gender equality, their voice is gonna be suppressed (as in the past) in the male dominated surroundings.

dahiyars
September 30th, 2007, 08:14 PM
Resp Neelam ji

I have seen the movie and really most of us should see so that we can imagine abit of the world without women. It may sensitise us to some extent on gender.

R.S.Dahiya

b.l.lakhlan
November 8th, 2007, 06:33 PM
Dear all,

I think you don't have faith on God.We canot do any thing.( Til ghate na rai badhe jo likh de kartar ). We are moving as per direction of super power .


Thanks,
Bajrang

dahiyars
November 8th, 2007, 10:45 PM
Quoted By Bajrang ji
Dear all,

I think you don't have faith on God.We canot do any thing.( Til ghate na rai badhe jo likh de kartar ). We are moving as per direction of super power .


Thanks,
Bajrang

Resp Bajrang ji

jai ooper Aala pet mai maran kee kahvai sai tai Aapan konya mandey ooska Hookam

R.S.Dahiya

skadian123
November 12th, 2007, 10:33 PM
I would very much agree that the female:male ratio is alarmingly bad in Haryana and Western UP, so much so that eligible bachelors have to purchase brides for themselves from Assam, Bihar and even states like Kerala. Every now and then there are articles coming in the newspapers about jat men purchasing brides for themselves from other states. It is not only a problem of epidemic proportions for us to tackle for the benefit of the community but is also bringing bad name to the community as a whole.

Most of us are proud of our race, but the thought provoking question that comes to mind is with so much of inter-racial marriages taking place because of jat boys unable to find brides for themselves from within the community, would we still be able to consider ourselves a superior race. Or with so much of inter-mingling would we at all be able to call ourselves a race. It is a pity that even the educated lot among the jats prefer to have baby boys with no girl child at all.

It is high time that this issue is taken seriously by our community or in no time our community would be just read about in history books if at all. The onus lies on the educated and urban community members to first of all change their own outlook towards girl child and then change the mindset of their village cousins.

You can share your thoughts with me on this burning issue on 9810911874

Regards,

Sunil Kadian

dahiyars
November 12th, 2007, 11:38 PM
Dear Sunil

most of the points you have raised are very valid.You have put that there are 550 females on 1000 males in Jats. Will you please put up the referance also.

R.S.Dahiya

skadian123
November 13th, 2007, 11:02 PM
Dear Sunil

most of the points you have raised are very valid.You have put that there are 550 females on 1000 males in Jats. Will you please put up the referance also.

R.S.Dahiya

Dear Ranbir,

We all know the seriousness of and repercussions associated with the problem of low female to male sex ration. We either know this through our first hand experience in terms of the number of girl children in our joint families or friend circle or through news items in the print and the electronic media. The sad point is it is more prevalent in Haryana, Punjab and Western U.P. than anywhere else in the country which reflects badly on the culture or mindset of the people of these areas. There is nothing wrong in wanting a baby boy, but at the same time what is disdainful is the act of aborting the female child after conceiving. There have been so many instances reported wherein remains of female foetuses have been either found in some unused well or buried in the backyard of some nursing home being run by some unscrupulous medical practitioner.

As far as the figure of 550 females per 1000 males is concerned, I have borrowed the same from the comments posted by one of our esteemed fellow members, Mr. Vikas Chaudhary who is working on a UNICEF project on Neonatal problems. This figure might not be exact in terms of statistics, however I am sure we would agree that with the way things are shaping up around us, in the above mentioned geographical belt the picture would not be very different from that presented by the above mentioned figures/ratio.

It is high time this problem needs to be addressed at least within our community. The only solution that I see to solve this problem lies in bringing about a change in the mindset of our people. It is forums like this esteemed website which would I am sure play a vital role in bringing about this change or at least introduce a serious debate or the process of introspection within the community. It is easier said than done though at the same not impossible.

Regards.

Sunil

drdineshkl
December 12th, 2007, 07:04 PM
dear all ,
as quoted by many members from different sources declining sex ratio in haryana is of concern.this phenomenon is known to have occurred in period cycle of 50 to 60 years i have no published evidence for it but am only quoting from anecdotes.haryanavi society has used this system of buying brides earlier also but women involved were only from Rajasthan and UP ,but with better connectivity now people get brides from all over the country.but the society has never really tried to provide equal status to women which would probably take care of selective fetal killing in long run.even politician have very diplomatically stayed away from the issue,consider the issue of reservation in legislature.Jats have also been leading opposition against property inheritance to women.as many of the members have stated the problem might with the mindset. providing quality education with special impetus on female literacy and employment, including quota system could be of some help.Tamilnadu has a system where a certain amount of money is put into bank in the girl child's account which would become around a lakh by 18 years of age,similar system might work out in Haryana also.
thanks for sparing your valuable time...

rajeshrathee
December 13th, 2007, 06:08 AM
As posted by learned members of the forum this is indeed a serious issue. But the real trouble is how far and to what scale is it going to escalate?? The situation will never improve if drastic steps are not taken at grassroot levels including changing mindsets, and when I say changing, I mean a complete U-tur in how we percieve a girl-child and what are our expectations from her. It is more a battle of traditional beliefs v/s contemporary reality where we have to give equal rights and responsibilities to the girl child. The task is huge and may take several years to accomplish.
But in the same vein I do not agree with respected Kadian Sir wherein he said that we will not be a race at all if we married out of the community. My point is maybe we should be thankful to the out-of-community women to help continue the race in first place and secondly, who knows we may end up being a better race with all the diversity(Darwin's Theory) thrown in.

Monica

mittu
December 13th, 2007, 01:32 PM
To destroy the menace of female feticide, we need to acknowledge the reasons why parents do that. the main reasons behind female feticide should be:
1) dowry, as parents avoid daughters, as they are afraid of dowry.
2) Women illiteracy, as someone above pointed out that "nari hi nari ki dushman hai"
this will make females more responsible and independent.
3) The general feeling that Boys are helping hands n will become there support system in there older age.
Permissible age for marriage should be raised for females to 21, to regain equality and encourage literacy. Let them learn and earn there own way.
And more open society, recently my nanaji whos from farmana, meham was visiting us and he saw me n my female friend talking in our porch. when i came back he said that,"Agar tum donu gaam mein honde, to log tumne jelliya(marne ka device!) gell batla(jukar gobar ne batla karya kare :D) kar dende...." and i was like...:eek:.
So the moral of story is to create more open society.
(making my mom under understand that its okey to marry baniya girl will also help problem....atleast litle :p)

sanjeetsparp
February 22nd, 2008, 05:51 PM
Oh kaafi din baad dekha ye to ......... Problem ye hai ki hum sab log bolte bahut hain ... or jitna bolte hain uska 10% bhi nahi kerte hain ... saare politician ho gaye hain ... khair sab responcibilites main dabe baithe hain ... Job, ghar, Loans, Shopping, etc etc etc.... lekin ye sab to aap apne ghar se suru ker sakte hain koi mushil kaam nahi hai ..... bas kuch baton pe jubaan kholna seekh lo ...

So this is the problem that females are less than male weather its 550 or 850 ..... here i was working on city planning in Tamil Nadu. i was handling 11 cities.

Now interesting fact is that out of 11 municipalities 8 has female more than male.

but in Rajasthan, Haryana, Punjab, UP in each of the city and even in village the Female ratio is very low....

Who is the responsible is it male or female of our society ..... how we can improve the situation .... Can't female take lath in there hand in this matter .... Its very easy to put everything on the society that its bad society ... per society main to aap log bhi hain na ..... or kuch maamlon main to step le hi sakte hain

ranjana2008
March 3rd, 2008, 11:07 PM
women should be encouraged to have good education so that they can contribute in removing social taboos .

ssindhu
March 4th, 2008, 10:56 AM
i never felt any duality in mind discussing any thread as much as i feel seeing this thread.

i think this male/female ratio rift is too hyped. my empirical knowledge says that it doesn't affect anything...despite lower no. of females, they are not getting any great.

secondly, as most people say that educating women is a solution to most evils against them, my observation says that (in context of jat community) that educating a girl BA/BSc/BComm/JBT/BEd is OK...parents can marry them off...but if the girl is really educated, i mean from some good inst. or some really utilitarian course like engr. doc etc. it really becomes a bane for girl herself, because there are very, very few guys for them in jat community...no good matches...irony...and if they are strong, there will be no takers...then incompetency of boys becomes another problem.

intricate situation. alas


education also sometimes proves a negative for such gals then...

stop hyping this male/female ratio...i don't see any real life repercussions of it...so far i havn't seen anybody marrying off their guys in punjab/rajasthan etc...

there are more poignant issues to be tackled in jat community

vivekdh
March 4th, 2008, 11:33 AM
ss ji aap pata nahi kis jamane ki jat community ki batte kerte rehte ho
khabi eng. colleges me jaake dekho bahut jat ladke ladkiyan mil jayenge.or kissi ki shaddi me dikkat koni aati
dikkat aati hai sarif or +ve soch rakhne wali ladki dhundne me. jo ganni pad jaa hain unke paun darti pe na rehte











i never felt any duality in mind discussing any thread as much as i feel seeing this thread.

i think this male/female ratio rift is too hyped. my empirical knowledge says that it doesn't affect anything...despite lower no. of females, they are not getting any great.

secondly, as most people say that educating women is a solution to most evils against them, my observation says that (in context of jat community) that educating a girl BA/BSc/BComm/JBT/BEd is OK...parents can marry them off...but if the girl is really educated, i mean from some good inst. or some really utilitarian course like engr. doc etc. it really becomes a bane for girl herself, because there are very, very few guys for them in jat community...no good matches...irony...and if they are strong, there will be no takers...then incompetency of boys becomes another problem.

intricate situation. alas


education also sometimes proves a negative for such gals then...

stop hyping this male/female ratio...i don't see any real life repercussions of it...so far i havn't seen anybody marrying off their guys in punjab/rajasthan etc...

there are more poignant issues to be tackled in jat community

mukeshkumar007
March 4th, 2008, 11:49 AM
ss ji aap pata nahi kis jamane ki jat community ki batte kerte rehte ho
khabi eng. colleges me jaake dekho bahut jat ladke ladkiyan mil jayenge.or kissi ki shaddi me dikkat koni aati
dikkat aati hai sarif or +ve soch rakhne wali ladki dhundne me. jo ganni pad jaa hain unke paun darti pe na rehte

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

mukeshkumar007
March 4th, 2008, 12:05 PM
bhai ek baat yaad agi...

Ek mera friend hai jo doctor hai uski shadi huwi ek mbbs karedi chori se...she used to hate saadi... jeans hi pehna karti thi.. ek baar dono ne gaam ne ana pada kisi shaadi maie to chorre ne bechare ne keha ki gaam chal rehe hai yeh saadi pehnlena jeans nai to adh kye khadi hogi aur boli nai.. aur suna di bechare ne.. ki kiti low thinking hai tum logo ki itna padhne ke baad bi...


if a grl is unable to find a suitable match in jat community itself then I wonder if she can have good match in other community.. bewade aur bawali-booch to bhale hi mil jya rational hone ki jageh..... aur bera na baa kye rassa hai yoo:)

dkumars
March 4th, 2008, 12:06 PM
ss ji aap pata nahi kis jamane ki jat community ki batte kerte rehte ho
khabi eng. colleges me jaake dekho bahut jat ladke ladkiyan mil jayenge.or kissi ki shaddi me dikkat koni aati
dikkat aati hai sarif or +ve soch rakhne wali ladki dhundne me. jo ganni pad jaa hain unke paun darti pe na rehte


hahahaha:p:D:D:D:D:D;)

dkumars
March 4th, 2008, 12:29 PM
i never felt any duality in mind discussing any thread as much as i feel seeing this thread.

i think this male/female ratio rift is too hyped. my empirical knowledge says that it doesn't affect anything...despite lower no. of females, they are not getting any great.

secondly, as most people say that educating women is a solution to most evils against them, my observation says that (in context of jat community) that educating a girl BA/BSc/BComm/JBT/BEd is OK...parents can marry them off...but if the girl is really educated, i mean from some good inst. or some really utilitarian course like engr. doc etc. it really becomes a bane for girl herself, because there are very, very few guys for them in jat community...no good matches...irony...and if they are strong, there will be no takers...then incompetency of boys becomes another problem. .... Seema ji i am really unable to understand ur posts. One way u say treat gal and boy exactly same then u say no good match for gals. Why no good match ??? Why do feel guys shud be more educated or having heavier earning than gal ??? If u want to treat them same then a gal can also earn more and can have bigger/better academic degrees. Gals want guys to be more qualified and then ask for equality. Whosoever thinks this way has a poor mentality and completely biased one.

intricate situation. alas


education also sometimes proves a negative for such gals then...

stop hyping this male/female ratio...i don't see any real life repercussions of it...so far i havn't seen anybody marrying off their guys in punjab/rajasthan etc...

there are more poignant issues to be tackled in jat community


my question in blue:)

shweta123
March 4th, 2008, 02:47 PM
my question in blue:)

Well, a viable point but I also dont know exactly that why it is so that in match making its always implied that the would be groom has to have an extra edge as compared to the bride in many a respects. I feel that this is not totally irrelevant, but yes of course there must be some pertinent logic behind this general trend. But believe me, its not a question of poor mentality, its something else which needs an insight. Infact its a thoughtful practice. Elders please if anyone can come out with the inherent logic behind this frame of mind ?

sumitsehrawat
March 4th, 2008, 03:09 PM
If we could have educated people all around then such concerns would no longer be concerns. The primary cause hiding deep somewhere is the uneducated and ignorant mind. I just feel so.

Thanks,
Sumit

dkumars
March 4th, 2008, 03:24 PM
If we could have educated people all around then such concerns would no longer be concerns. The primary cause hiding deep somewhere is the uneducated and ignorant mind. I just feel so.

Thanks,
Sumit


U feel it right dude as i also feel the same.

sanjeetsparp
March 4th, 2008, 04:05 PM
"Yaar Hath Kangan ko aarsi kaya oer padhe likhe ko faarsi kaya" ... kehan ki baat ker rahe ho ... yehi survey ker lete hain na .... Yehaan ko se aise kanya hai jo ye nahi sochti hogi ki uske Husband ki salary us se jayada nahi kerni chahiye ......sach sach batana ..... wasie main to sach hi bolta hoon...

Main her terah ke college or institution main pedha hoon .... or sab ladkiyon ka yehi khwaab tha ki unka husband jayada salary wala hona chahiye ....

SPA jo ki totally profesional college tha .. wehaan pe bhi yehi tha .... KU Kurukshetra main bhi yehi tha jis main apna rural culture hai .. or MDU Rohtak main bhi yehi tha jo ki bilkul Local hai ...

Or rehi baat Jat boys and Girls are not in good professions .. to jatland dekh lo yaar bahar kehaan jana hai .... Shaayd jo is pe regular hain sabhi khaali hai or metrimonial section ko to bhool hi gaye yaar survey ker lo

prashantacmet
March 7th, 2008, 01:28 PM
I am currently working on a project with UNICEF on NEONATAL problem and while the interaction i tried to find more about our region and surprisingly the gentlmen from UNICEF knew Baghpat pretty well.

What he shared is true for allmost all of UP and Haryana, he shared his concerns over low women:men ratio in the region. He has claimed it to be roughly around 550 females per 1000 males in the region which is like one woman on every 2 men.... Shocking is it?

However he jokingly said that soon guys from your belt will go to Assam in search of brides but the statasticks he has put forward really raised a concern for me. I am sure senior members of Jatland can suggest some way or other to highlight the problem to the right people or suggest right way to address this problem.

Jats are highly prone for dowry and female infanticide. Jats dominated areas are having lowest female ratio and dowry is a matter of prestige here. What do u expect from us?

prashantacmet
March 7th, 2008, 01:33 PM
If we could have educated people all around then such concerns would no longer be concerns. The primary cause hiding deep somewhere is the uneducated and ignorant mind. I just feel so.

Thanks,
Sumit
in padhe-likhya ne hi to saara oont-mateella kar rakhya

sumitsehrawat
March 7th, 2008, 09:23 PM
Bhai, I wrote 'educated' and not 'literate'. Perhaps you misunderstood.:)! Note the difference. Ab aap ye bataye jinka example aap de rahe hai...Are they educated???... or just literate?? :)!

smiles,
Sumit


in padhe-likhya ne hi to saara oont-mateella kar rakhya

prashantacmet
March 10th, 2008, 11:17 AM
Bhai, I wrote 'educated' and not 'literate'. Perhaps you misunderstood.:)! Note the difference. Ab aap ye bataye jinka example aap de rahe hai...Are they educated???... or just literate?? :)!

smiles,
Sumit

maan gya bhai terri baat eibb:)

kusumdhochak
March 16th, 2008, 01:03 PM
Even most of males i think will not be comfortable with their wives earning more. so let's not blame females only. I understand both ways it is illogical and bad. But it is more so because it has become some kind of tradition and people tend to follow tradition.
we should surely discuss it

By the way, I have no problem in marrying a person with salary less than mine


"Yaar Hath Kangan ko aarsi kaya oer padhe likhe ko faarsi kaya" ... kehan ki baat ker rahe ho ... yehi survey ker lete hain na .... Yehaan ko se aise kanya hai jo ye nahi sochti hogi ki uske Husband ki salary us se jayada nahi kerni chahiye ......sach sach batana ..... wasie main to sach hi bolta hoon...

Main her terah ke college or institution main pedha hoon .... or sab ladkiyon ka yehi khwaab tha ki unka husband jayada salary wala hona chahiye ....

SPA jo ki totally profesional college tha .. wehaan pe bhi yehi tha .... KU Kurukshetra main bhi yehi tha jis main apna rural culture hai .. or MDU Rohtak main bhi yehi tha jo ki bilkul Local hai ...

Or rehi baat Jat boys and Girls are not in good professions .. to jatland dekh lo yaar bahar kehaan jana hai .... Shaayd jo is pe regular hain sabhi khaali hai or metrimonial section ko to bhool hi gaye yaar survey ker lo

kusumdhochak
March 16th, 2008, 01:06 PM
Jats are highly prone for dowry and female infanticide. Jats dominated areas are having lowest female ratio and dowry is a matter of prestige here. What do u expect from us?

what exactly do you mean by 'What do u expect from us?'