Jat's umbilical cords remain till death

[ssindhu]

it might seem monotonous as lately few of us hav been cuming up very poignant castigations on sum of jat trends n mindsets...in anticipation i aplologise 4 producing dis thread...bt i cudnt stop myself since i alwaz fetter on dis mindset...to mor or less it's prevalent in other communities too, BT IN JATS, IT'S MORE STRONGER A CASE:

well lets start on two things simultaneously, both r interdependent. i hav seen a lot of cases in jats where boys/gals r nt keen to marry arranged way bt they say "our parents brought us in dis world, i lov them. at least i owe thm dis much tht i marry to their choice...". blah blah.

well i cn nuthing bt laugh at dis thought. specially at d word "owe". if d parents demand frm their boy/gal to marry only their choice...is it a pay bak time 4 being born?


well...well lot of u must b fuming n b ready to retort tht arranged has a security as parents r involved...hpw does tht security cums? do parents guarantee tht d boy/gal they choose will b nuthing bt gud? no! nobody cn give such guarantee...thn y so stern 4 arranged marriages...in any case it's a gamble...in lov marriages, at least one shares a comfort zone...

yet in jats i hav seen strong aversion to dis idea of lov concept as compared 2 other castes...

now i cum to my moot points:

1. Y parents cash on kids whole life 4 giving birth to them...parenting is no business as per me. i dnt believe in give n take bondage in lov

2. Y boys/gals give it a name of lov to give up in marriage to their parents? marriage is 2 personal a decision. d partner will b spending only a chunk of her/his time wid parents, u only hav 2 spend rest of ur life wid spouse

be4 discussion itself i will give my own opinion: it's nuthing bt a rudimentary thought between parents n children. i will give my kids only lov n nvr thoughts. i will let thm b individual, nt a parents shadow...shadow remains dark

[vivekdh]

ss ji kuch dino se mere dimag me 1 baat aa rahi hai. apko jat hone me koi sharam aati hai kya ?aap haemsha -ve chijon ko kyu sochti ho? gussa mat kerna bus main sirf puch raha hu :confused:





it might seem monotonous as lately few of us hav been cuming up very poignant castigations on sum of jat trends n mindsets...in anticipation i aplologise 4 producing dis thread...bt i cudnt stop myself since i alwaz fetter on dis mindset...to mor or less it's prevalent in other communities too, BT IN JATS, IT'S MORE STRONGER A CASE:

well lets start on two things simultaneously, both r interdependent. i hav seen a lot of cases in jats where boys/gals r nt keen to marry arranged way bt they say "our parents brought us in dis world, i lov them. at least i owe thm dis much tht i marry to their choice...". blah blah.

well i cn nuthing bt laugh at dis thought. specially at d word "owe". if d parents demand frm their boy/gal to marry only their choice...is it a pay bak time 4 being born?


well...well lot of u must b fuming n b ready to retort tht arranged has a security as parents r involved...hpw does tht security cums? do parents guarantee tht d boy/gal they choose will b nuthing bt gud? no! nobody cn give such guarantee...thn y so stern 4 arranged marriages...in any case it's a gamble...in lov marriages, at least one shares a comfort zone...

yet in jats i hav seen strong aversion to dis idea of lov concept as compared 2 other castes...

now i cum to my moot points:

1. Y parents cash on kids whole life 4 giving birth to them...parenting is no business as per me. i dnt believe in give n take bondage in lov

2. Y boys/gals give it a name of lov to give up in marriage to their parents? marriage is 2 personal a decision. d partner will b spending only a chunk of her/his time wid parents, u only hav 2 spend rest of ur life wid spouse

be4 discussion itself i will give my own opinion: it's nuthing bt a rudimentary thought between parents n children. i will give my kids only lov n nvr thoughts. i will let thm b individual, nt a parents shadow...shadow remains dark

[ssindhu]

ss ji kuch dino se mere dimag me 1 baat aa rahi hai. apko jat hone me koi sharam aati hai kya ?aap haemsha -ve chijon ko kyu sochti ho? gussa mat kerna bus main sirf puch raha hu :confused:


because negative pinches. postives dnt need any mending. y dnt u start postives? i cnt see much positives bhai

[ram6april]

because negative pinches. postives dnt need any mending. y dnt u start postives? i cnt see much positives bhai





Agar aap dekhoge to bahut hii jyaadaa +ve dekhnge. but u seems u dont like to see that.... i will give u the list ..... n stop posting all these -ve thinking thoughts....... naa te saare aade tanne nu sochann laag jyaange ak baawlli sai yaa te.... serr hoye haande jaa sai.......... enjoy....

[ssindhu]

Agar aap dekhoge to bahut hii jyaadaa +ve dekhnge. but u seems u dont like to see that.... i will give u the list ..... n stop posting all these -ve thinking thoughts....... naa te saare aade tanne nu sochann laag jyaange ak baawlli sai yaa te.... serr hoye haande jaa sai.......... enjoy....

teri e kami reh ri thi...tanne laage hai issi issi main sunungi...(teri baat na karti, aura ki)...u noddy ramu...bas 1 topic aur hai...fer te stock khatam. tanne bera hai an main kitni quizzy hoon...

[basant]

"Ruk jana nahi tu kahin haar ke, katon se chal ke milengey saye bhaar kay".

Aroma of human life is very magnificent, it will be worth if we could enjoy iota of it. Pl. have a look towards half filled glass.

[deepakchoudhry]

Seema ji,

Dimag bahut thej chalta hai tumahara...chacha choudhry kay dimag say bhi tej.:D

jab aapnay apnay Vichar baata diye, Doosron ki vichraon ka aa per koi asar hona nahin :)

Toh kyun kulhdiyaan main gudd phodo soh.:)

Do your best and Enjoy Life.

Koi kya Karta hai Kay nahin, leave it to their judgement.

Deepak

PS: All in jest so dont take it personally.

[ssindhu]

ke karu aadat se majboor hoon...media aale negatives/half glass empty pehle dekhte hai...as i earlier said postives dont need any mending

[anilsinghd]

Seema ji , when u wrote once ina thread that u dont believe that being jat gives us something special and u belong to the whole world , i was happy !

At least you proved that u r not the one to be blabbering along all the way that i m a jat , i am a superior caste , i am yeh , i am woh ,.,,,,,,


But tell me one thing , when u over and over again and with all the conviction u can have or produce with your magical words and prowess of langugae say that jtas do this wrong , that wrong , haryana mein yeh hota hai , we jats treat ladies the most badly , wives are same as P******** , legal raping , and stuff like that , what actually are you out to prove???
Is nt it the same thing that poeple who are prudent to be jats say ???

U r just doing exactly opposite to them and living again on the extremes.
:)


I rememeber reading a thought which goes like this :

How should we believe that god exists ? And the science gives alil explanation to this by saying that , the kind of balance , symmetry that exists in nature is something which should not exist. So there has to be a hidden force which controls and maintains this balance. And that hidden thing is what can be termed as the god !

that day i learnt the importance of being balanced about things . Just to clear out myself , remember being balanced has nothing to do being diplomatic !
There are no obvious generalizations. Not all parents ask of their children and not all children give to their parents the way u have written.

Not all jats are brutal to their wives , and not all wives surrender too meakly !

And when we put a question mark on the actions of a particular group against another , we tend to forget the other aspects ( analogous to analysing only one side or what i call extreme approach and not a balanced one ! )

U seem to be in total uproar against the exploitation of women these days and specially by jats , I ask you to produce the facts and i know you wil but , please tell me how many of those who are exploited are ready to break the chains ! ? :)

I have seen some cases personally in which even if we try and hepl those so called " hapless" ladies , they just dont want to move out of these relationships !! Y dont they ???

And when u defy your own words , thats the most hurting part.
At times u will give words of wisdom that education has nothing to do with the wisdom and then when things come hard at you , you just give out a comment that you are talking about the poor and the rural people.
I mean thats self contradictory ! :)

And trust me , there is no point at all in keep on talking and talking and talking about these things. I am no one to deny the importance of planning before acting but the planning has to be through discussions in which constructive difference of opinion needs be thers. I do not find that in most of the discussions that u have got involved yourself off lately.
Non- Actions frsutrate ! They does.


Please excuse me as your little bro if i have over extended myself. Just that i thought of conveying my thoughts to you. :) I apologise if anything from my side offends you. :)

[deepakchoudhry]

ke karu aadat se majboor hoon...media aale negatives/half glass empty pehle dekhte hai...as i earlier said postives dont need any mending


Ab meray baat samajh main aayi, Yeh saari negativity ka reason kya hai...Media main rehkar aadat ban gayi hai. :D

Pls carry on.

[ssindhu]

Seema ji , when u wrote once ina thread that u dont believe that being jat gives us something special and u belong to the whole world , i was happy !

At least you proved that u r not the one to be blabbering along all the way that i m a jat , i am a superior caste , i am yeh , i am woh ,.,,,,,,


But tell me one thing , when u over and over again and with all the conviction u can have or produce with your magical words and prowess of langugae say that jtas do this wrong , that wrong , haryana mein yeh hota hai , we jats treat ladies the most badly , wives are same as P******** , legal raping , and stuff like that , what actually are you out to prove???
Is nt it the same thing that poeple who are prudent to be jats say ???

U r just doing exactly opposite to them and living again on the extremes.
:)


I rememeber reading a thought which goes like this :

How should we believe that god exists ? And the science gives alil explanation to this by saying that , the kind of balance , symmetry that exists in nature is something which should not exist. So there has to be a hidden force which controls and maintains this balance. And that hidden thing is what can be termed as the god !

that day i learnt the importance of being balanced about things . Just to clear out myself , remember being balanced has nothing to do being diplomatic !
There are no obvious generalizations. Not all parents ask of their children and not all children give to their parents the way u have written.

Not all jats are brutal to their wives , and not all wives surrender too meakly !

And when we put a question mark on the actions of a particular group against another , we tend to forget the other aspects ( analogous to analysing only one side or what i call extreme approach and not a balanced one ! )

U seem to be in total uproar against the exploitation of women these days and specially by jats , I ask you to produce the facts and i know you wil but , please tell me how many of those who are exploited are ready to break the chains ! ? :)

I have seen some cases personally in which even if we try and hepl those so called " hapless" ladies , they just dont want to move out of these relationships !! Y dont they ???

And when u defy your own words , thats the most hurting part.
At times u will give words of wisdom that education has nothing to do with the wisdom and then when things come hard at you , you just give out a comment that you are talking about the poor and the rural people.
I mean thats self contradictory ! :)

And trust me , there is no point at all in keep on talking and talking and talking about these things. I am no one to deny the importance of planning before acting but the planning has to be through discussions in which constructive difference of opinion needs be thers. I do not find that in most of the discussions that u have got involved yourself off lately.
Non- Actions frsutrate ! They does.


Please excuse me as your little bro if i have over extended myself. Just that i thought of conveying my thoughts to you. :) I apologise if anything from my side offends you. :)


firstly, well a lot many things were false in my context which i wont reply...sheer wastage of time...

secondly, no i dnt get hurt so easily...ha ha...

thirdly, u must hav noticed tht only frm a couple of days i m writing such negatives abut jats. u kno y? well i was floored tired reading jats r dis, jats r tht...n i cudnt stop myself raising d curtain frm wata actually it is like...

fourthly, lemme tell u folks 1 mor thing, how things go here on JL which i cn consider a miniature of jat lands...besides me, few other ppl r also agreeing on dese negative, bt u folks only target me...bt it dsnt matter. i dnt care.

last bt nt least, u might nt b knowing tht i m getting PMs frm ppl (girls n boys evn senior ppl) tht i m bringing d right thing in front...bt thn they dnt write in thread out of fearing being criticised as me perhaps...such is d hypocrisy here...no mor comments on it

[anilsinghd]

:):)

I pay tribute to the conviction u have of your own thoughts.

I was not on a target mission :) and leaders are always attacked i guess. So Please carry on ! :)


thank you a lot for reading what i wrote ! :)

[deepakchoudhry]

Seema,

Yeh toh discussion hai and it works two ways.

Per in baaton ka net result kya hai, end of the day deep down we all know the truth. Sirf baat kartay rehnay say kuch nahin honay wala,

No matter how good intentions/discussions are without action it means nothing.

Deepak

[skarmveer]

If we respect our parents and try to satisfy them what is wrong in it,
Hamarey paida hone say laker is lyak hone tak kee hum samajh sakey kaya galat hai kya sahi unhone hee hamari ungli pakdi hai.(they are the first teacher for us). Aapney sarey sukh chhod ker bachcho key liyea time, money
Sleep sab kuchh lagaya hai, hamey is layak bananey keyliyea ke hum safal ho
or sada khush rahen.

Parents hamesh harey say jayada experience rekhtey hai isliyea wo samya-2 per hamey guide kertey rehtey hai or iseeliya wo samjhtey hai ke woo shyad hamarey liyea jayada achchha jeevan sathi dhondsaktey or ismey koi shak bhee nahi hai.

Pay back kee baat to bachchey ker saktey hai parents nahi wo to sab tarah hamari hee khushi dekhtey hai.

Janhan tak love marrages kee baat hai to aaj bhee arrange marrages hee jayada sucess hai janhan tak mujhey jankari hai.

Without give and take no relation will exist wheather in love marrages or arrange.

Jahan tak payar kee baat hai to jab hum apney ma-baap key he nahi ho patey jinhoney hamey paida karey itna bada kiya or apna sub kuchh hamey diya to fir hum uskey kya hongey jisey hum kuchh dino say jantey hai.

Yea mere vichar hai isliya kuch achchh na lagey to Maafi.



it might seem monotonous as lately few of us hav been cuming up very poignant castigations on sum of jat trends n mindsets...in anticipation i aplologise 4 producing dis thread...bt i cudnt stop myself since i alwaz fetter on dis mindset...to mor or less it's prevalent in other communities too, BT IN JATS, IT'S MORE STRONGER A CASE:

well lets start on two things simultaneously, both r interdependent. i hav seen a lot of cases in jats where boys/gals r nt keen to marry arranged way bt they say "our parents brought us in dis world, i lov them. at least i owe thm dis much tht i marry to their choice...". blah blah.

well i cn nuthing bt laugh at dis thought. specially at d word "owe". if d parents demand frm their boy/gal to marry only their choice...is it a pay bak time 4 being born?


well...well lot of u must b fuming n b ready to retort tht arranged has a security as parents r involved...hpw does tht security cums? do parents guarantee tht d boy/gal they choose will b nuthing bt gud? no! nobody cn give such guarantee...thn y so stern 4 arranged marriages...in any case it's a gamble...in lov marriages, at least one shares a comfort zone...

yet in jats i hav seen strong aversion to dis idea of lov concept as compared 2 other castes...

now i cum to my moot points:

1. Y parents cash on kids whole life 4 giving birth to them...parenting is no business as per me. i dnt believe in give n take bondage in lov

2. Y boys/gals give it a name of lov to give up in marriage to their parents? marriage is 2 personal a decision. d partner will b spending only a chunk of her/his time wid parents, u only hav 2 spend rest of ur life wid spouse

be4 discussion itself i will give my own opinion: it's nuthing bt a rudimentary thought between parents n children. i will give my kids only lov n nvr thoughts. i will let thm b individual, nt a parents shadow...shadow remains dark

[shashiverma]

it might seem monotonous as lately few of us hav been cuming up very poignant castigations on sum of jat trends n mindsets...in anticipation i aplologise 4 producing dis thread...bt i cudnt stop myself since i alwaz fetter on dis mindset...to mor or less it's prevalent in other communities too, BT IN JATS, IT'S MORE STRONGER A CASE:

well lets start on two things simultaneously, both r interdependent. i hav seen a lot of cases in jats where boys/gals r nt keen to marry arranged way bt they say "our parents brought us in dis world, i lov them. at least i owe thm dis much tht i marry to their choice...". blah blah.

well i cn nuthing bt laugh at dis thought. specially at d word "owe". if d parents demand frm their boy/gal to marry only their choice...is it a pay bak time 4 being born?


well...well lot of u must b fuming n b ready to retort tht arranged has a security as parents r involved...hpw does tht security cums? do parents guarantee tht d boy/gal they choose will b nuthing bt gud? no! nobody cn give such guarantee...thn y so stern 4 arranged marriages...in any case it's a gamble...in lov marriages, at least one shares a comfort zone...

yet in jats i hav seen strong aversion to dis idea of lov concept as compared 2 other castes...

now i cum to my moot points:

1. Y parents cash on kids whole life 4 giving birth to them...parenting is no business as per me. i dnt believe in give n take bondage in lov

2. Y boys/gals give it a name of lov to give up in marriage to their parents? marriage is 2 personal a decision. d partner will b spending only a chunk of her/his time wid parents, u only hav 2 spend rest of ur life wid spouse

be4 discussion itself i will give my own opinion: it's nuthing bt a rudimentary thought between parents n children. i will give my kids only lov n nvr thoughts. i will let thm b individual, nt a parents shadow...shadow remains dark

Well I think that the problem you have addressed is just not associated with one JAT community. This is a social problem associated with almost all castes. In fact when I look at the orthodox and conservative families of south india and some of the baniya families I feel that we are relatively more open minded when it come to this issue of marriage. I do not think that approval of a marriage has more to do with the community but instead it depends on how your parents and you take it.

1. Y parents cash on kids whole life 4 giving birth to them...parenting is no business as per me. i dnt believe in give n take bondage in lov

I do not think this is alway true. They are the people who love you more than anyone in this world and they are the one who would happiest to see you more happy. They do not cash on kids for giving birth to them. Infact they are the one who expect least from you except for your happiness. If you say they try to impose their opinions on you....then why do they do so???....b´coz they think this will be good for you. And if you do not feel the same way then obviously you have to show them and convince them that what you think and want to do would be a better decision. You just have to make them understand by discussing things. They hold opinions based on what they have learned. If you have much better vision then tell them and try to bring it out. If you keep things confine to yourself and expect them to understand everything without an explanations then i do not think we are justified saying that things are imposed on us. And trust me if you can manage to show them that you will be more happy with your decision at the end, they will stand by you. But I still agree there are few exceptions as well.

2. Y boys/gals give it a name of lov to give up in marriage to their parents? marriage is 2 personal a decision. d partner will b spending only a chunk of her/his time wid parents, u only hav 2 spend rest of ur life wid spouse

Well, in todays world if you ask me this question I would say most of us do not dare to make this decision. None of us want to take the responsibility of our own decision as far this matter is concerned. Whatever name you give but the fact i feel is that we do not want to get into unnesry complications. We do want to spend time and efforts in convincing our parents. So let them better decide and who knows what i decide may work or not....nd if they decide nd it did not work...i can always say it was not my decision...without even realising it was my life.....
But again...this is not the complete truth and is not applicable for every individual.

[ritu]

its has nothing to do exceptionally with jat parents.why r u so much after haryana and jats.parents everywhere even here in usa wants their kid to get married with their approval.their is nothing wrong if someone says that i will marry with a choice of my parents.
ma baap ne duniya dekhi hai aur aadmio ki pichaaan onme hi jyada hoti hai.dhoop me baal safed nahi kartae vo.aur aapne bachhe ki nature onse jyada kon janta hai.onhe pata hota hai ki vo kaha fitt baithega ya baithegi.
abhi ye sab baate kahana aasan hai ki me ye karugi vo karugi.jab ma banogi na tab aapne aap expectations ho jayegi.aur baat expectations ki nahi hoti protectiveness ki hoti hai.sardi me kyu maaye teen sweater pahanati ki kade balak bimar na hoja .to ma baap bahay ke time kyu itne protectiver er choosy hoja ek kade balak aapni jindagi na birran kar le kissi kamjor faislle te.yaha bachho ki baat ho rahi hai na ki naukro ki jinpe hukumut kari jaati ho.
title of the thread should be mom's umbilical cord remains till death.

[poonam]

its has nothing to do exceptionally with jat parents.why r u so much after haryana and jats.parents everywhere even here in usa wants their kid to get married with their approval

Agreed in toto with this statement of yours Ritu! Its global, independent of countries, culture, caste or race!!

[dkumars]

Yaar aapsabhi logon ne to confuse kar diya ... sabhi ki bat thiek lag rahi hai.
:confused::confused::confused::confused::confused: :confused::confused::confused::confused::confused:

[dkumars]

it might seem monotonous as lately few of us hav been cuming up very poignant castigations on sum of jat trends n mindsets...in anticipation i aplologise 4 producing dis thread...bt i cudnt stop myself since i alwaz fetter on dis mindset...to mor or less it's prevalent in other communities too, BT IN JATS, IT'S MORE STRONGER A CASE:

well lets start on two things simultaneously, both r interdependent. i hav seen a lot of cases in jats where boys/gals r nt keen to marry arranged way bt they say "our parents brought us in dis world, i lov them. at least i owe thm dis much tht i marry to their choice...". blah blah.

well i cn nuthing bt laugh at dis thought. specially at d word "owe". if d parents demand frm their boy/gal to marry only their choice...is it a pay bak time 4 being born?


well...well lot of u must b fuming n b ready to retort tht arranged has a security as parents r involved...hpw does tht security cums? do parents guarantee tht d boy/gal they choose will b nuthing bt gud? no! nobody cn give such guarantee...thn y so stern 4 arranged marriages...in any case it's a gamble...in lov marriages, at least one shares a comfort zone...

yet in jats i hav seen strong aversion to dis idea of lov concept as compared 2 other castes...

now i cum to my moot points:

1. Y parents cash on kids whole life 4 giving birth to them...parenting is no business as per me. i dnt believe in give n take bondage in lov

2. Y boys/gals give it a name of lov to give up in marriage to their parents? marriage is 2 personal a decision. d partner will b spending only a chunk of her/his time wid parents, u only hav 2 spend rest of ur life wid spouse

be4 discussion itself i will give my own opinion: it's nuthing bt a rudimentary thought between parents n children. i will give my kids only lov n nvr thoughts. i will let thm b individual, nt a parents shadow...shadow remains dark


Well Seema what i call this is generation gap.
The frequency of thinking is not the same.
Unlike others m agreed with u but again i would like to mention "Rome was not buit in one day"
Its a slow process and will take time to understand...
I can feel ur thoughts coz i had gone thru such an ordeal where i experienced all above cited points.

And after this Dr. Shashi has given a wonderful explanation... parents r the two gods who always want to see u happy.. this is the only and only selfishness in their love...

[dkumars]

1. Y parents cash on kids whole life 4 giving birth to them...parenting is no business as per me. i dnt believe in give n take bondage in lov



This reminds me one thing.... My grandfather used to say and i strongly beleieve in this

"Apni khaal ki jooti bhi bana kar maa baap ko pehnaog toh bhi unka karj nahi utaar sakte"

Parenting and business are inversly proportional... hehehe... isnt it granma

[dkumars]

its has nothing to do exceptionally with jat parents.why r u so much after haryana and jats.parents everywhere even here in usa wants their kid to get married with their approval.their is nothing wrong if someone says that i will marry with a choice of my parents.
ma baap ne duniya dekhi hai aur aadmio ki pichaaan onme hi jyada hoti hai.dhoop me baal safed nahi kartae vo.aur aapne bachhe ki nature onse jyada kon janta hai.onhe pata hota hai ki vo kaha fitt baithega ya baithegi.
abhi ye sab baate kahana aasan hai ki me ye karugi vo karugi.jab ma banogi na tab aapne aap expectations ho jayegi.aur baat expectations ki nahi hoti protectiveness ki hoti hai.sardi me kyu maaye teen sweater pahanati ki kade balak bimar na hoja .to ma baap bahay ke time kyu itne protectiver er choosy hoja ek kade balak aapni jindagi na birran kar le kissi kamjor faislle te.yaha bachho ki baat ho rahi hai na ki naukro ki jinpe hukumut kari jaati ho.
title of the thread should be mom's umbilical cord remains till death.


Truly Ritu... written the fact ... and the another fact is when we start analysing things and feel can take a better decision so som times we feel more secure with our own decisions which we feel correct and pleasing intially but sometimes we realize it later(Sometimes we make better decision) even better than elders...
Secondly, if u can convey ur msg properly to ur parensts then i don think they gonna ignore u or ur choice but certainly some other factors also influence it like society and all.

In short u conveyed ur msg nicely... :)

[dkumars]

Well I think that the problem you have addressed is just not associated with one JAT community. This is a social problem associated with almost all castes. In fact when I look at the orthodox and conservative families of south india and some of the baniya families I feel that we are relatively more open minded when it come to this issue of marriage. I do not think that approval of a marriage has more to do with the community but instead it depends on how your parents and you take it.

1. Y parents cash on kids whole life 4 giving birth to them...parenting is no business as per me. i dnt believe in give n take bondage in lov

I do not think this is alway true. They are the people who love you more than anyone in this world and they are the one who would happiest to see you more happy. They do not cash on kids for giving birth to them. Infact they are the one who expect least from you except for your happiness. If you say they try to impose their opinions on you....then why do they do so???....b´coz they think this will be good for you. And if you do not feel the same way then obviously you have to show them and convince them that what you think and want to do would be a better decision. You just have to make them understand by discussing things. They hold opinions based on what they have learned. If you have much better vision then tell them and try to bring it out. If you keep things confine to yourself and expect them to understand everything without an explanations then i do not think we are justified saying that things are imposed on us. And trust me if you can manage to show them that you will be more happy with your decision at the end, they will stand by you. But I still agree there are few exceptions as well.

2. Y boys/gals give it a name of lov to give up in marriage to their parents? marriage is 2 personal a decision. d partner will b spending only a chunk of her/his time wid parents, u only hav 2 spend rest of ur life wid spouse

Well, in todays world if you ask me this question I would say most of us do not dare to make this decision. None of us want to take the responsibility of our own decision as far this matter is concerned. Whatever name you give but the fact i feel is that we do not want to get into unnesry complications. We do want to spend time and efforts in convincing our parents. So let them better decide and who knows what i decide may work or not....nd if they decide nd it did not work...i can always say it was not my decision...without even realising it was my life.....
But again...this is not the complete truth and is not applicable for every individual.



Dr. Sahiba .... aap sahi mein Doctor kehlane laya ho.... bahutttttttt hi achha explanation diya apne... truly unbiased and true facts... good:)

[shailendra]

it might seem monotonous as lately few of us hav been cuming up very poignant castigations on sum of jat trends n mindsets...in anticipation i aplologise 4 producing dis thread...bt i cudnt stop myself since i alwaz fetter on dis mindset...to mor or less it's prevalent in other communities too, BT IN JATS, IT'S MORE STRONGER A CASE:

well lets start on two things simultaneously, both r interdependent. i hav seen a lot of cases in jats where boys/gals r nt keen to marry arranged way bt they say "our parents brought us in dis world, i lov them. at least i owe thm dis much tht i marry to their choice...". blah blah.

well i cn nuthing bt laugh at dis thought. specially at d word "owe". if d parents demand frm their boy/gal to marry only their choice...is it a pay bak time 4 being born?


well...well lot of u must b fuming n b ready to retort tht arranged has a security as parents r involved...hpw does tht security cums? do parents guarantee tht d boy/gal they choose will b nuthing bt gud? no! nobody cn give such guarantee...thn y so stern 4 arranged marriages...in any case it's a gamble...in lov marriages, at least one shares a comfort zone...

yet in jats i hav seen strong aversion to dis idea of lov concept as compared 2 other castes...

now i cum to my moot points:

1. Y parents cash on kids whole life 4 giving birth to them...parenting is no business as per me. i dnt believe in give n take bondage in lov

2. Y boys/gals give it a name of lov to give up in marriage to their parents? marriage is 2 personal a decision. d partner will b spending only a chunk of her/his time wid parents, u only hav 2 spend rest of ur life wid spouse

be4 discussion itself i will give my own opinion: it's nuthing bt a rudimentary thought between parents n children. i will give my kids only lov n nvr thoughts. i will let thm b individual, nt a parents shadow...shadow remains dark


[Disclaimer: Not commenting on the main query of the thread...at least not yet, only once I figure it all out! :D]

Okay hey listen Seema, gotta confess you are making me go completely cockeyed with your writing style there, girl!
It is becoming really demanding to try and read everything and all you are trying to say with these 'SMS, texting' type style of writing!... Although I dare say this quickie 'shorthand' helps you get your thoughts down real quick and fast like a runaway (loco)motive, but man, it's making (I am sure a whole bunch of us) having to read it in probably double the usual time!!!... :o

Really a pity you see, because I am sure ;) there is a lot of useful stuff in there....

Help out a dude here, will ya, and get back to that normal keyboard that came with your computer....??? ;)

[ssindhu]

Well Seema what i call this is generation gap.
The frequency of thinking is not the same.
Unlike others m agreed with u but again i would like to mention "Rome was not buit in one day"
Its a slow process and will take time to understand...
I can feel ur thoughts coz i had gone thru such an ordeal where i experienced all above cited points.

And after this Dr. Shashi has given a wonderful explanation... parents r the two gods who always want to see u happy.. this is the only and only selfishness in their love...
hm sonny d wise...

bt sonny i dnt agree wid shashi as well

well i m intentionslly nt replying 2 all d threads coz i hav already put my opinion n i hav all d reasons 2 support tht... i dnt think lov towards parents is in blindly following them...

neither parents cn b right all d time n neither children cn b wronga ll d time...so it's nt necessary tht wat parents think is good 4 their kids is good in real sense including d times factor. there has 2 b sum individuality

[ssindhu]

[Disclaimer: Not commenting on the main query of the thread...at least not yet, only once I figure it all out! :D]

Okay hey listen Seema, gotta confess you are making me go completely cockeyed with your writing style there, girl!
It is becoming really demanding to try and read everything and all you are trying to say with these 'SMS, texting' type style of writing!... Although I dare say this quickie 'shorthand' helps you get your thoughts down real quick and fast like a runaway (loco)motive, but man, it's making (I am sure a whole bunch of us) having to read it in probably double the usual time!!!... :o

Really a pity you see, because I am sure ;) there is a lot of useful stuff in there....

Help out a dude here, will ya, and get back to that normal keyboard that came with your computer....??? ;)
Well the plea seems to be an esoteric crtique. Anyways all i can say is i will try.

(PS: Now don't ask me to make 'i' as 'I'. since i am more of 'i' than 'I'. I hope you know the difference mate. Oops! Again i am talking of a rebel...i mean rebel in literature. People will bay for my blood. Again i am sounding alien here. Lol. Anyways if you don't know the differnce, please refer to Times of India's Jug Suraiya's proposal on 'i' versus 'I'.)