Kitna Pyar Aur Kittana Darr

[devdahiya]

Worthy members,when ever we talk about children,misguided youth,men,house wives,employees or for that matter friends.....we always say only love can treat their bad behavior.Like love anger is also an emotion[not at all useless] which should also be applied in right degree to generate a fear[positive fear] while dealing with such misguided minds is my belief.What do you say....let us discuss!

[dkumars]

Worthy members,when ever we talk about children,misguided youth,men,house wives,employees or for that matter friends.....we always say only love can treat their bad behavior.Like love anger is also an emotion[not at all useless] which should also be applied in right degree to generate a fear[positive fear] while dealing with such misguided minds is my belief.What do you say....let us discuss!


Kaka i am agreed upto certain extent. Like love enger is also an emotion to express ur feelings and some times its better than love.
Although we can solve or can give a right direction thru fear also but that is not as effective as love can make it. Both has its own importance and the effectiveness depends upon the person who is teaching. Just now we are discussing about tantarik in another thread, if we try to treat them nicely and want to change their behavior thru love, i feel its next to impossible because they are adult they have made their perception for most of the things in life. After a certain degree of maturity its very difficult to change them but fear is a thing which can control them for not to do wrong. At this point anger and strictness is very important.

One more important thing according to me is the individual itself, I have seen a lot of ppl who try to change or even if they r wrong and someone give them a right direction they ubderstand it and follow... but some are so dheeth who never listen, may be circumstances made them like that, their past experience do not allow them. in such cases its very difficult to change/correct them thru love. Here, either they need strictness or a very effective communicator/personality like buddhaa(angulimaal case).

Waiting for other's replies....

[sunitahooda]

Kaks i think itna PYAAR ke banda sir pai na chadh aaye aur DARR itna ki SHARAM se kaam chal jaye , kyunki meri nazar mein DARR nahi rishton mein sharam hona jyada jaruri hai....Jyada strictness bhi ek hadd tak hi kaam karti hai or the persons tend to get obstinate or shameless and once it happens then even LOVE can't treat them. This feeling must be shown that If LOVE is SWEET it can be USED AS A PERIL TOO WHEN NEED TO BE:) In rare circumstances people turn as Obnoxious hence might not be easy to treat with LOVE but i feel its not Impossible though!:)

[ssindhu]

Worthy members,when ever we talk about children,misguided youth,men,house wives,employees or for that matter friends.....we always say only love can treat their bad behavior.Like love anger is also an emotion[not at all useless] which should also be applied in right degree to generate a fear[positive fear] while dealing with such misguided minds is my belief.What do you say....let us discuss!
kaka you seem to be too much after misguided youth. you use this a lot in your threads. Believe me there are not as much misguided youth as you are concerned. rather youth in india is quite shrewd and clear. yes teens are getting drifted with exposure to many a things out of elders watch and a chunk (only a chunk) is misguided. i will be oblized if this is 'misguided teens' than 'misguided youth'

[shashiverma]

Worthy members,when ever we talk about children,misguided youth,men,house wives,employees or for that matter friends.....we always say only love can treat their bad behavior.Like love anger is also an emotion[not at all useless] which should also be applied in right degree to generate a fear[positive fear] while dealing with such misguided minds is my belief.What do you say....let us discuss!

This is a complicated and simple problem at the same time.
Well if someone is misguided....or someone is to be corrected for their bad behavior then to address such a problem is not that straight forward and I think one can not treat them following one standard formula. It all depends on who and in what stage the person is and what exactly do you want them to correct for. I think an answer should be in the language the person understand most.
If you are talking about a child then love is ofcourse the best option as they understand that language well.
If you are talking about a teen-age kid then anger will spoil the situation. Love is ofcourse also not the only solution....At their age they need friends..so one need to be a friend to understand their problem and then offer them possible logical approach to adopt. Let them decide but you offer them possible best solution in a convincing way but do not try to impose on them.
We can not make decision for any of them and we can not act for them.
I think its good to speak in the language they understand and one have to make it sound more logical, practical and sensible. But just offer them and do not run after them. They have to decide on their own. If you can not make them understand...let them fall once and be sure you are their to keep an eye that they do stand properly. Probably they will have their lesson and then you can be better friend.....But I know this is not as simple as it sound.

[deepakchoudhry]

As long as intention is motivated by love and compassion to help others, actions and methods are secondary.

You can use any method you want (Lobh, Dand, Krodh etc).

But pls remember...you can take horse to the water but cant make it drink.

In the end, we cannot make their choices for them.



PS: I take it we are not talking about infants but grownups.

[devdahiya]

kaka you seem to be too much after misguided youth. you use this a lot in your threads. Believe me there are not as much misguided youth as you are concerned. rather youth in india is quite shrewd and clear. yes teens are getting drifted with exposure to many a things out of elders watch and a chunk (only a chunk) is misguided. i will be oblized if this is 'misguided teens' than 'misguided youth'



Seema mei kissi ke peechhe nahin huun...i am just behind BURRAI...which is ruining families.I don't agree with you that youth is on track.......They are the most misguided and careless strata of today's society.If they are correct,many things alarmingly wrong in our society will fall in place.They don't listen to elders,show hardly any respect to the parents and do what pleases them,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,sab free lance chal raha hei aur maryadaein toot chukki hein.Ther are very few young people who maintain a correct balance in life.

[devdahiya]

As long as intention is motivated by love and compassion to help others, actions and methods are secondary.

You can use any method you want (Lobh, Dand, Krodh etc).

But pls remember...you can take horse to the water but cant make it drink.

In the end, we cannot make their choices for them.



PS: I take it we are not talking about infants but grownups.



Of course we are talking about grown ups!

[deepakchoudhry]

Seema mei kissi ke peechhe nahin huun...i am just behind BURRAI...which is ruining families.I don't agree with you that youth is on track.......They are the most misguided and careless strata of today's society.If they are correct,many things alarmingly wrong in our society will fall in place.They don't listen to elders,show hardly any respect to the parents and do what pleases them,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,sab free lance chal raha hei aur maryadaein toot chukki hein.Ther are very few young people who maintain a correct balance in life.

As I said, you can take horse to the water but cant make it drink.

End of the day if that is the case, they will have to bear the consequences.

Maybe some people only learn it that way....so let it be.

[ssindhu]

As I said, you can take horse to the water but cant make it drink.

End of the day if that is the case, they will have to bear the consequences.

Maybe some people only learn it that way....so let it be.



i just love your signature. Muzaffar Ali presented me a journal on Sufi poets and poetry "The Sufi Way" when i met him. just go through it, if you can buy it there. he himself has translated some of the poems, some by Dr. Karan Singh and some by Abida Praveen. i will send you some once i am through.

[sidchhikara]

This is a complicated and simple problem at the same time.

That statement is simple and complicated at the same time.

[shashiverma]

That statement is simple and complicated at the same time.

Well this statement is like the problem itself. I know you understand it well..but still since you have mentioned it..let me try to reply and do justice with the statement...
If one can understand the problem it is simple to handle. But if you do not, you end up with complications. What makes it simple or complicated is our understanding of the problem. Then as I said I think we should speak in the language that other understand which again is simple and diffcult.....So lets come out of the simple and complicated aspects....:-).....and lets move ahead with the thread...

[sidchhikara]

Well this statement is like the problem itself. I know you understand it well..but still since you have mentioned it..let me try to reply and do justice with the statement...
If one can understand the problem it is simple to handle. But if you do not, you end up with complications. What makes it simple or complicated is our understanding of the problem. Then as I said I think we should speak in the language that other understand which again is simple and diffcult.....So lets come out of the simple and complicated aspects....:-).....and lets move ahead with the thread...
Shashi, my bad!! I was just being a smarta$$............being smarta$$ is both simple and complicated..........oops!! - ok I will drop it.