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shailendra
December 18th, 2007, 12:16 AM
GoshOwhiz, People!… Now what have we been missing HERE, eh!?!… these recent blood-numbing, hair-thining, and blood-pressure-raising 'thread' happenings here were just so much to take in at one go that I had to spend the last couple of hours just trying to bring myself to speed on all this (can easily be called) the ‘parallel-cinematic’ blogsphere excellence on our beloved website!

Talk about walking back to a jackpot mother lode of sizzling vibes, discussions and accusations!

Now of course the initial intent of logging in after a long sabbatical was to write a quick and small review of a movie I had just watched and needed a worthy mention in one of the older threads (Creative Movies of all… but that of course shall have to wait for later, I see!)

Cause Boy O boy, gotta tell ya- This here presents itself that amazing possibility of penning down a review on the Jatland’s very own ‘Series of Melodrama’ threads itself! [Right? I mean, seems to make perfect sense writing a review of what a unique site Jatland itself has become these glorious fun-filled days!]

Our ‘Series of Melodrama’ is an intriguing, complex and offbeat thriller set of threads set in a sleepy small online town of Jatland.
[Recommended for all those members (of course Jat’s only please) who like offbeat threads.]

I mean consider this; we seem to have the whole fare here, don't we- Drama queens (Mallika Sherawat beware!), some dashing ‘heroes’ (arguably called zeroes directly by others and who leave you confused as to whether they are reading from the wrong script) and even pseudo (read ‘wannabe’) villains trying to play the classic ‘bad man’ (I mean remember Gulshan Grover people? He was the buffoon trying to act tough but being more of a comedian in the end :rolleyes:)… sometimes even the great Hanumanji himself no less, is being mis-quoted liberally in the process! ;)

That's RIGHT! It's all happening here- Moderators being pelted upon, people being banned (but always accessible by phone, mind you!... oh the joys of technology!) on all kinds of bizarre 'please-let-me-go-from-here' requests; followed immediately by a truck load of well-wishers and enquiriers that would fill up the annals of any respectable library with some real juicy and genuine posts of ‘why’, ‘why-not’, ‘when’, ‘who’, ‘where’ being thrown around and being caught and subsequently send for sixers! (chakka’s! :D) - and then Before you can say "Jatsowhizz"- those either banned, missing-in-action, or prisoners of the blog-war, all somehow manage to show back up again like magic out of the Jatland green-and-orange-logo's wood-work!!!

But WAIT, hold your horses and your hats!… All is not really lost- because deliciously, the simmering discontent is still quite obviously visible under the top skin, there are still villains abound (read: fake drag queens, aspiring bloggers, rouge phelwaans, and of course the merciless moderators!)….

Can anything be more unique, then this Inqalaab Zindabaad ("burn these dictators on the witch stakes"), fake-eyelashed tear-jerking, pot-belly-moving laugh riot???
I say NO! Nothing beats this!!! This is where one should turn to for entertainment and melodrama these days definitely!… Chuck those visits to the multiplexes and walk away from that remote, dude! The Jatland Melodrama is here to stay!...

Well sure!... most of the other members who have probably been missing it (just like me, till now) or have turned their well intended blind-eye to what may probably be considered by them as some cheap-theatrics, immature/juvenile bickering- are probably saying that they are more used to and prefer the other regular escapist fare Bollywood has to offer (for example Om Shanti Bhangg, Baawariya, Main Tulsi Tere Aangan Ki etc.) and QUITE frankly may find these series of melodramatic threads as too fast paced, juicy and even confusing at times for their liking; BUT hash it all people!… Trust me- This is the REEL DEAL!

The fact is that this 'Melodrama' leaves many other threads of the site begging for mercy. Even as it pays homage to all the banned shaheed’s, rouge foul-mouth bloggers, aspiring tough-guy comedians, ‘Amitabh-Bachchan-in-Mohabateein’ like moderators and not to forget the ever forthcoming and heart-breaking shradhanjalee’s :rolleyes:- all these related threads manage to stay pretty close to the Jatland reality and our history as war monging Jats that love to give and get a black eye!!!

And to top it all off there is a strong sense of impending doom throughout all these posts. All in all a perfect Beer-and-popcorn viewing dramebaazi that you simply can’t help but LOVE with cocked eyes!…

Make no mistake- the plot of this whole melodrama is in fact buried into not one but five-six different and intriguing threads and their posts- sure, it takes a winding path instead of going linear… and beginning very initially on a cogent note in a thread (...which was something like, "damn you, you jallaad Moderators!":mad:), this real (reel) life movie veers onto a somewhat tangled route, and the focus flits from one subplot thread to another!
The narration was obviously quite slow in the beginning but as the 'drama' progresses it unfolds a series of underlying sweet truths, bare accusations and lovely reconciliations.

Quite verbally vibrant (colorfully written is more like it! :cool:), intensely intelligent, and visually striking (oh yeah- pictures are included at some crucial moments to add the overall impact), the Series holds your interest despite its predictable pace and moments.

And complementing the series director's and cinematographer's commendable job are performances by the individual actors. (All cannot be named here for obvious 'post-size' restrictions- and frankly, we still completely can't put our finger on who all these ‘saas-bahu ki performances’ waale lead actor/actresses/director/directoresses really are and who really derves the full kudos of such a job well and truly hashed up!) and that’s really because- Members jump in regularly before, during and after the interval (and various other times for that matter) to froth at the mouth (and their keyboards) for no apparent reason trying to get infront of the other to commit professional blogsphere hara-kiri right here in plain view!

So one can truly appreciate the fact that it makes it very difficult to decide who (or who all) finally get(s) the bald ‘Asgar’ (Oscar) to take back home! (Gonna miss the “I thank the Jatland motion picture committee, my father, Chichi bhaiyya, my monitor and keyboard…..”) ;)

But then whoever these brave (albeit faceless) Jat and Jaatni’s be, their dedicated portrayal has been refreshingly a natural one (no pun intended!) and lends a lot of credibility to the character they have tried to make a complete hash of. In fact more than acting, these worthy artists have believed in spontaneous performance and it definitely comes through on their posts, blogs and verbal abuses…

Obviously not Inspired from Ektaa Kapoor’s zillion other serials (missed opportunity there, if you ask me!), these 'Series of Melodrama' is Jatland’s very own unique and rare fare for those who like unconventional threads and posts. At times bizarre, at times fascinating, these series are arguably the first of its kind in offbeat Jatland cinema and shall go down in it’s annals as the moment when time (and everything else) stood stock-brain-dead still on the website.

So listen up all you People; (Firstly, all those amazing members that were directly and indirectly associated with this awesome blogspeher motion picture excellence and experience) PLEASE take a bow, the stage is truly yours! (and secondly, the rest of you other members who missed the grand opportunity to be part of making History; please stand up right next to your computer screens for a standing ovation on this agonisingly momentous occasion!) ;):D

gaganjat
December 18th, 2007, 12:34 AM
ghana ae philmi admi sai badde bhai tu tai !

kati ae huddd kar rakhi sai...nass peet diya raiii !
kunsa cable laga rakhya sai ghara...kun kun sai channel dekhya kare

vijay
December 18th, 2007, 12:58 AM
Best satire i have read so far (anywhere ). :)

I think it's still impossible to convince people that Earth is round not flat. Forget about adding that it revolves around the Sun. :rolleyes: I can imagine Galileo crying for mercy.

sidchhikara
December 18th, 2007, 01:38 AM
Shail bhai, baki saare post ka drama ek taraf, teri post ek taraf. Khoob abstract (dramatic;)) piece likha hai.

dreamer
December 18th, 2007, 10:44 AM
Bhai .. Hooda saab itni saari line padhan mai laagai sai tame ghana saara ...
Last mai Bottom Line bhi likh diya karo .. mahare jisan ka kaam chaal jya :confused:

cooljat
December 18th, 2007, 11:37 AM
Shail Bhai always back with a BANG!!:eek:

Here you come....ek dum Rajnikant style mein!!!:cool:;)

Bhaisaab, jamma chaala paad diya aapne to, todd sa kar diya katti!! :D


Ish thread ka naam change kar ke, 'JL Ke SHOLEY' kar dyo!!:cool:

Btw, too gud too gud, hats off, salutations n kudos to u,
indeed piece of classy art u've written!!! :)


Kahani puri Virtual nahi Real hai, indeed this JL virtual thingy effectin our real lyf, what say!....:rolleyes::p


Rock on
Jit

captmanjeet
December 18th, 2007, 11:45 AM
Shail,

Very well brought out. I Second Vijay's thoughts regarding this being arguably the best satire that has come across me since long time. Every dark cloud has silver lining and you have brought that lining to silver screen.

Rgds
Capt Manjeet

shweta123
December 18th, 2007, 12:31 PM
Hold onnnnn …………. That’s not at all back with a BANG please ............ for its back in mind blasting, much wilder than the "K" action typoo dhansoo entry ..........(Nopes, not the Mithun baba style.......) !!!

Hatttts off to this ultimate direction, and I m standing up right next to my 'terribly giggling and shaking' computer screen for a standing ovation on this agonisingly momentous occasion! Now we are out of the dilemma ! Our "Asgar" can be unanimously bestowed upon you. Meet the superman with an Asgar !!

Splendid , gorgeous and an terribly yummy piece of flattening humour served on the Jatland's entry gate! Moderators can never be at peace I bet ! I didnt knew it was so funny, though I found it out of normal, terribly shaken situation at the Jatland ground, but the fun part laid under cover, unveiled now, with fun pistols blowing out with the gun powder of 'no pun intended, yet pun filled punching sarcasm, leaving behind dead bodies of ugly thoughts !

I too was part of this movie, can I know wat role i played........ heheheeeeee ............

But I must say, the keenly noticing, role attaching, movie making onlookers at work, as if they had full time devotion !

dkumars
December 18th, 2007, 12:32 PM
Salute to Bro Superman... I must appreciate ur wits. U r the true silent admirer. And i appreciate ur deep analysis of the whole episode... opps!! i mean whole series. A good communicator is one who listen everything and atlast strike with full force, jaisa aapne kiya. Khair woh baat aur hai ki aapki kahani se koi bhi untouched nahi raha hai. Sabhi jinhone reply kiya yahan and some indirectly related, sapko lapet dala bhai jiiii.:D And as bade bhai said in above post saari series ek taraf and ur post alone ek taraf... bahut sahi kaha ... waise aap bahut achha likhtein hai.
Satire ko sahi definition de di aapne.:p

asuhag
December 18th, 2007, 12:44 PM
Very nicely put across indeed!
Jat kehna ... "ghee sa ghaal diya"

P.S- You've got a great style of writing. And speaking on a personal note - I enjoyed reading some of your threads. Pls keep 'em coming... for all of us:)

-Ashish

kabir
December 18th, 2007, 04:19 PM
Shail Hooda!

Now can we have an acceptance speach as well.....:)

poonam
December 18th, 2007, 07:53 PM
Shail Hooda!

Now can we have an acceptance speach as well.....:)



Abhi kahan "speach"...hehe...:p
picture abhi baaki hai mere dost......:D aint it Shail...;)

kabir
December 18th, 2007, 10:39 PM
Abhi kahan "speach"...hehe...:p
picture abhi baaki hai mere dost......:D aint it Shail...;)

Hast off to you supperb bed-iting skills;)

shailendra
December 19th, 2007, 09:09 PM
... Jatland's TAU!!!... :D;):rolleyes:
(click on attachment below to see!)

NOTE: Okay how about making this cartoon a little more interesting!?!
I think it wouldn't be such a bad idea to see maybe if each one of you could try and use your creative imagination and write as what he could be saying there in his 'Acceptance Speech'... :cool:

...The funnier the better, :D:D:D (and Jatu/Haryanvi/Hindi/English any/all is fine!) Just don't make it super long!

I could than always try and update this cartoon by adding in the most hilarious one as a speaking bubble above the Tau!

So alright come-on all of ya, tickle your funny bone and give it a shot! (we have all already seen what drama artists we can be), so what are you waiting for?.........................

msingh
December 20th, 2007, 01:24 AM
very well said shailendra

i was actually expecting some heavy duty stuff on this thread,,,,,

Par yahan paar seen yee hai ki people who dares get banned...;)

i was also hoping a review on your thread by Mr. Raj Rathee who had been kind off Missing,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,and here comes a again Jatland kaa dialogue.....Where is Raj Rathee?:D:D:D:D:D

I am sure thode din maine ekk thread bhi paad jaa gaa,,, time paas:D:D:D:rolleyes: forum maine WHERE IS RAJ RATHEE

sidchhikara
December 20th, 2007, 02:19 AM
... Jatland's TAU!!!... :D;):rolleyes:
(click on attachment below to see!)

NOTE: Okay how about making this cartoon a little more interesting!?!
I think it wouldn't be such a bad idea to see maybe if each one of you could try and use your creative imagination and write as what he could be saying there in his 'Acceptance Speech'... :cool:

...The funnier the better, :D:D:D (and Jatu/Haryanvi/Hindi/English any/all is fine!) Just don't make it super long!

I could than always try and update this cartoon by adding in the most hilarious one as a speaking bubble above the Tau!

So alright come-on all of ya, tickle your funny bone and give it a shot! (we have all already seen what drama artists we can be), so what are you waiting for?.........................

Dude, that sketch is tight - very detailed - you even got the Jatland logo lookin just right. You can call the Oscar he is holding - Omprakash.

cooljat
December 20th, 2007, 07:21 PM
Shail Bhai aap bhi kati ND manas ho, aur aapke Cartoons r flawless n too gud as usual!! :):)

Pehle to nu batao Yo Desi Oscar mein prize mein ke hai?? insted of statue trophy how about HUKKA or GHEE KA PEEPA?? :cool:;)

Jatland ka Tau (Hukka gudgudate hue) : Ram Ram Sabne :D


Rock on
Jit


... Jatland's TAU!!!... :D;):rolleyes:
(click on attachment below to see!)

NOTE: Okay how about making this cartoon a little more interesting!?!
I think it wouldn't be such a bad idea to see maybe if each one of you could try and use your creative imagination and write as what he could be saying there in his 'Acceptance Speech'... :cool:

...The funnier the better, :D (and Jatu/Haryanvi/Hindi/English any/all is fine!) Just don't make it super long!

I could than always try and update this cartoon by adding in the most hilarious one as a speaking bubble above the Tau!

So alright come-on all of ya, tickle your funny bone and give it a shot! (we have all already seen what drama artists we can be), so what are you waiting for?.........................

shailendra
December 28th, 2007, 09:11 PM
ghana ae philmi admi sai badde bhai tu tai !

kati ae huddd kar rakhi sai...nass peet diya raiii !
kunsa cable laga rakhya sai ghara...kun kun sai channel dekhya kare

"Mera to dil hi kuchh aisa hia Mausi!" ;)

shailendra
December 28th, 2007, 09:18 PM
Oh and Vijay, Sid, Jit, Manjeet, Shweta, Devender, Ashish, Kabir, Poonam and Manisha; thanks a lot for enjoying that post as much as I enjoyed while constructing it...

Tham saare bhi kimme ek-ek replica es 'Omprakash' (thanks Sid) ka apnae paas raakhh lo! Eeb jukar na hota baans to na bajtee bansoori bhi, kyun theek sai na Tau!?!... ;):D;)

shailendra
January 4th, 2008, 04:09 AM
Tera tera tera suar (pig)!!! (okay, okay folks please don’t confuse it with that Himesh Reshammiya’s last flop of a moviieee- Aap ka Saroor!)

Nahee yaar, I am simply talking about none other than the latest fiasco on Jatland ;)... If anything all this (and the outright fan as I am of the capped-with-a-nose-instead-of-brains); can be quite gleefully compared to Reshammiya’s last caper with maybe a few extra twists and turns!

Pray tell, How the comparison??? Ama yaar… all one needs to do is read these latest installments on controversial threads and get as close to being admitted into the hospital after reading them, just like most people had to after watching that moviieee (not to miss that one extra ‘i’ and two extra ‘e’s), ...

Still not convinced? I mean try this- for a mere 3-4 hours just simply try and read all the latest and greatest threads on Jatland (as in- the most obnoxiously titled ones that are immediately followed with the most hits per second :D:rolleyes:), and lo and behold- a vein shall burst in your head with a crucifying... aaaarrrggh!!! You shall sit up, push the keyboard aside (along with the chai, ‘parle’ji kae biscuits and goond kae ladoos too) and shall bay in a semi-human shrieking nasal voice that even your cock-eyed and half-deaf padosi’s would hear quite clearly, “What the… are these threads (with their invaluably pathetic posts) actually trying to do???… make some sort of unparalleled 'nasal-feat' in online blogging OR some sorta sick joke???"... :mad:

But alas the ground zero irony is- you still wouldn’t get it and neither be able to get any reliable answers from your psychologist quack even ...

Now, don’t get me wrong…on the contrary- one does feel for these brave bloggers who continue to stay at it against all odds... I mean kabhie socha hai?…it takes so much courage to write and be seen on these controversial threads, forget writing your puny brains out for everyone to snigger at -oh sorry, cut and paste at... and so, I insist; with full and well deserved homage to this bravery (and to that dude Reshamiyya) you members too should try at least reading thru them once...
Oh sure, guaranteed after 15 minutes and reading maybe 3 of the first most foul mouthed outpouring of venom posts in that span, you would almost about want to get up and rather go watch Himesh Reshamiyya washing his dirty caps in public... but like they say- curiosity killed the cat, and so shall you continue to sit there and while scratching your head- keep reading, sobbing, sniggering and thinking "WHY WHY WHY ??? Why me, why us, why this site, why…Oh why!?!"

Anyways, now the one commendable, constant and consistent factor to all these threads (just like the nasal baying of some 'piggy-in-a-cap' - hence the ode to ‘suar’!) is that they all start with random stuff and then immediately after, almost as if on a cue kiss goodbye to all sanity and it happily becomes a free for all! ‘Hum saath-saath hein’ becomes ‘Hum cheh-saath hein’! … and at this point I recommend you inviting in your mausiji, Leela-bhen kaam waali and Ramu doodhwaala to join in for some communal reading on the computer screen, as this stuff rapidly surpasses all Ekta Kapoor tear-jerkers and wannabe-Sonu-Nigam nose-wailers and may need some emotional and fool-proof support!

Now I very well understand that your very initial reason of trying to even hazard entering into these stinky threads dead-lock would no doubt be to try and know Kae "Himesh topi kyon pehenta hai???"… But imagine your utter disgust and disappointment when all you find at the end is that he is in fact BALD!... SAD na!!?!! [Now I have heard that there are members who actually sit down to blog on these particular 'Reshammiya'-like threads wearing caps… True fans indeed..]

I think this movie/blogs/suars/threads/melodramas/dirty caps/wigs would go for the OSCARS!!!(or was it ASGAR, and/or is it OMPRKASH!?!)

YES IT WILL… Jatland hai bhai, sab kuch chalta hai!!!

And the best part is that just when you thought that the storm has passed over, think again…. Cause the lull is just before the next storm… I truly believe that the Himesh-alikes are not gonna let us down and come out with the sequels of this movie as ‘Mera Suar’, ‘Hamara Suar’, ‘Iska Suar’, ‘Uska Suar’, ‘Sabka Suar’...

Disclaimer: Any semblance towards sanity or resemblance to any person live or banned from the website or walking around in a cap (and women's tight-jeans) with a nasal-twang is purely coincidental and the author does not bear any responsibility whatsoever if you suddenly start seeing 'piglets' typing on a keyboards in your dreams! :D

navingulia
January 4th, 2008, 08:43 AM
rai is muurat si nai ke sir mai maarunga.
kimmai dena e tha tai chaar sher laadu baandh diye hote


bhai shaile, too good, thanks for throwing in some positive energy. naa tai yo jland ka jahaaj duuban aala tha

shailendra
January 4th, 2008, 08:59 PM
"Rai is muurat si nai ke sir mai maarunga!
Kimmai dena e tha tai chaar sher laadu baandh diye hote!..."


bhai shaile, too good, thanks for throwing in some positive energy. naa tai yo jland ka jahaaj duuban aala tha

Perfect!... Thanks Navin! There you go...

At least now our poor Toon Tau get's talking! ;)

sumitsehrawat
January 5th, 2008, 12:31 PM
"Yeah! I needed an Orbit White award. aagli bey mera Zaabda(teeth set) thaari photo levega.
Thans Ques....Raam Raam"!!

Thanks,
Sumit
P.S.: Though the award is yellow(in color) but then I observed its head is sparkling.

stokas
January 6th, 2008, 12:52 AM
... Jatland's TAU!!!... :D;):rolleyes:
(click on attachment below to see!)

NOTE: Okay how about making this cartoon a little more interesting!?!
I think it wouldn't be such a bad idea to see maybe if each one of you could try and use your creative imagination and write as what he could be saying there in his 'Acceptance Speech'... :cool:

...The funnier the better, :D:D:D (and Jatu/Haryanvi/Hindi/English any/all is fine!) Just don't make it super long!

I could than always try and update this cartoon by adding in the most hilarious one as a speaking bubble above the Tau!

So alright come-on all of ya, tickle your funny bone and give it a shot! (we have all already seen what drama artists we can be), so what are you waiting for?.........................

Write down "I'm the best" in a much bigger bubble; as already seen and prooved over 'JL' and everyone thinks the same as well;) He...He....He..!

stokas
January 8th, 2008, 11:26 PM
Kya hua Hooda bhai?

Don't you think most of the Jatlanders are 'The Best' (as always seen in those 'melodramas')?? I have written in the same context - as your thread's heading "Melodramas at Jatland" - but no answer from your side!!

Agar ye punchline theek nahin lagi toh write down "Mae Mellodramma TAU Jatland Ka" in colourful wordings!

Just a suggestion! Others are welcome!

shailendra
January 10th, 2008, 03:12 AM
Kya hua Hooda bhai?

Don't you think most of the Jatlanders are 'The Best' (as always seen in those 'melodramas')?? I have written in the same context - as your thread's heading "Melodramas at Jatland" - but no answer from your side!!

Agar ye punchline theek nahin lagi toh write down "Mae Mellodramma TAU Jatland Ka" in colourful wordings!

Just a suggestion! Others are welcome!

Mein yhaeen hun, Tokas Bhai... sorry for the late response but goes without saying that I most definitely more than welcome your humorous inputs here about what our TAU could be saying!

Infact You, Navin, Jit and Sumit have come up with some very nice 'talking Tau' suggestions (and just like you said too- maybe shall wait and see if we get any more) and then hopefully soon would be my (procrastinator as I am) task of getting our Tau talking into a thought bubble (comics style!)...

So yeah, watch out for that space soon! ;)