## Shaadi ##

[shweta123]

It’s customarily said, marriages are made in heaven and solemnized on earth.

It’s the only crucial relation that bestows upon an individual the freedom to choose the one with whom he or she desires to live together for whole life ! It’s a time-honoured and exultant institution and has come of age and continues to be a tradition still germane.

But still some questions may not be out of place to be asked. To begin with, the first question is why do we marry? Is it just because that when an individual reaches a certain age level, he or she is under social obligation to tie the knot ? Or is it a guaranteed cushion for the odd times, and thus inevitable ?

[neetasuhag]

Marriage is a institution in which every student study differently. Its not about that at certain stage we have different needs. So marriage is also a need. Need of different people are different. For me its companionship,its a realtionship where two peopel become freinds for ever and they will stand by each other no matter what. Its personalised relationship the way you want you can crave in that way.

[sanyog]

Marriage is a institution in which every student study differently. Its not about that at certain stage we have different needs. So marriage is also a need. Need of different people are different. For me its companionship,its a realtionship where two peopel become freinds for ever and they will stand by each other no matter what. Its personalised relationship the way you want you can crave in that way.


hi i agree with u....

[kabir]

Don't you think "one of the charms of marriage is that it makes a life of deception an absolute necessity for both parties?"

Marriage is an institution, but who wants to live in an institution?:)

[crsnadar]

...a single wheel can roll very well but can never win a RACE...

...to WIN a race it needs at least 2 WHEELS, One empowers & Other directs...

[treetau]

shaadi!!!!!!is the spice of life:)

[sidchhikara]

It’s customarily said, marriages are made in heaven and solemnized on earth.

It’s the only crucial relation that bestows upon an individual the freedom to choose the one with whom he or she desires to live together for whole life ! It’s a time-honoured and exultant institution and has come of age and continues to be a tradition still germane.

But still some questions may not be out of place to be asked. To begin with, the first question is why do we marry? Is it just because that when an individual reaches a certain age level, he or she is under social obligation to tie the knot ? Or is it a guaranteed cushion for the odd times, and thus inevitable ?



In America, lot of people marry because of a momentary lapse of reason ;);) because of which the guy ends up becoming the baby daddy and also baby momma's husband:D

[mukeshkumar007]

Khane Pine ke point of view se Shaadi ek acha tayoohar hai :)

[vivekdh]

maine 1 truck ke piche likha hua pada tha

gar dekhni hain khusiyan to pyar kerke dekho,
jo hona chao barbad to shadii kerke dekho .:D

[VirenderNarwal]

डट जा छौरी..:cool:..ना घुमा-फ़िरा कै बूझे...;)..के धरया सै इन बातां में...:eek:...सौ बातां की एक बात बत्ता दयूँ...:rolleyes:..ओर वा भी एकदम पते की..:)..आपकी ब्याह वाली चिठ्ठी भी न्यूँ सम्झ ल्यो जल्दी ही बाच्चण आली सै...:p:D..।
.
.

[Maniisha]

maine 1 truck ke piche likha hua pada tha

gar dekhni hain khusiyan to pyar kerke dekho,
jo hona chao barbad to shadii kerke dekho .:D

Viv kamaal ki najar se :p:D

I read this lines somewhr like to share with u all.. :)

Shaadi ke baare me, aapka kya khayaal hai ?
mere kunwaare dosto ka, ye mahatvapurna sawaal hai
koi kahe lajwaab, to kisi ka bura haal hai
is ajeeb si duvidha ne, kiya kunwaaron ko behaal hai

Wo pooche, kya ye koi, jaadu bhara maaya jaal hai
ya phir koi sangeet jisme, madhur sur aur taal hai
kaheen koi dukhi hai to koi aur khus-khushaal hai
aur jo kal tha mauj me, aaj usi ke jhad rahe baal hai

Main kahu, shaadi kya, saare jeevan me ye kamaal hai
sukh aur dukh ye to, samay ki gehri chaal hai
tu agar dekhe to, kai dhani log kangaal hai
aur kisi gareeb ki jholi me khushiyon ka maal hai

Par shaadi ka anubhav, apne aap me be-misaal hai
do virodhiyon ka milan, ek talwaar aur ek dhaal hai
apne aap me gar lad pade dono, to jeevan me akaal hai
gar dono samajh ke rahe, to anand me guzre har saal hai...

[shweta123]

Don't you think "one of the charms of marriage is that it makes a life of deception an absolute necessity for both parties?"

Marriage is an institution, but who wants to live in an institution?:)

Well, I don’t agree Kabir ! I am not yearning to be an educator when I say that its not marriage it’s the people coming together that are the sole decisive elements as to how they end up shaping this bonding like. A marriage can have deception to lay its foundation on or it can have understanding to keep it going gleefully ever after !

Man is a social creature however independent he may be or how much tech savvy he is. There is always a void in every human being that needs another human to make him feel complete and loved. And there is no substitute of love. Parents have their own role to play, friends have their own engagements to cater to but the need for some identified soul to be always around doesn’t know such designs. So I guess marriage must have been devised to keep two souls reserved for each other, forever !

And, about your conviction as to who wants to live in an institution, I can just say nothing comes without a cost, if someone wants a person to be around only in his dreadful epoch then it isn’t that easy. And I guess survival without a soothing soul isn’t practically possible. A commitment for lifetime is a serious deed indeed ! And if one can arrange for such a heavy commitment without an institution then its fine but risky affair indeed, and if one can dispense with any kind of emotional cushion then I have no words !

[shweta123]

In America, lot of people marry because of a momentary lapse of reason ;);) because of which the guy ends up becoming the baby daddy and also baby momma's husband:D

And still such momentary lapses are so recurrent and population exploding... ;)

[shweta123]

Khane Pine ke point of view se Shaadi ek acha tayoohar hai :)

shaadi ek tyohaar hai aapke liye :rolleyes: kisi ki barbaadi ko tyohaar kehte ho :confused: ........

[shweta123]

डट जा छौरी..:cool:..ना घुमा-फ़िरा कै बूझे...;)..के धरया सै इन बातां में...:eek:...सौ बातां की एक बात बत्ता दयूँ...:rolleyes:..ओर वा भी एकदम पते की..:)..आपकी ब्याह वाली चिठ्ठी भी न्यूँ सम्झ ल्यो जल्दी ही बाच्चण आली सै...:p:D..।
.
.

100 baato ki ek baat........ mujhe samajh nahi aaya.... baachaan aalii ke hove sain :rolleyes::confused:

[shweta123]

...a single wheel can roll very well but can never win a RACE...

...to WIN a race it needs at least 2 WHEELS, One empowers & Other directs...

2 Wheeler ! :)

Well, truly said. A single individual can lead a happy life but in the end he lands no where after this long journey down the lanes of life!

No one with him whom he can say meant a world to him, no one he can say is the smiling token of the conjugal bliss which is socially accepted too !

[crsnadar]

We rarely speak our Heart out truely...

Dil me kuchh aur...Zuba pe kuchh aur...

...it needs only little courage to speak out the truth...

[shweta123]

We rarely speak our Heart out truely...

Dil me kuchh aur...Zuba pe kuchh aur...

...it needs only little courage to speak out the truth...

hmmm..... baat kuch samajh nahi aayi ....... ok..... we are waiting for the truth ....:p

[crsnadar]

I wrote for those who say "They are happy single"...

...Single is single...no one is happy single...

[shweta123]

I wrote for those who say "They are happy single"...

...Single is single...no one is happy single...

Oh what a jingle !

Whoever says he is fine single

Is the one who is most prepared to mingle :p

[sanjeetsparp]

Yaar main ye Suna hoon ek baar hone ke baad 7 janam tahin peecha na chorti ye chhori ..... per haade to kai 2 bhi ker lein hain or 3 bi ...... unki ke har time 2 -3 ho hain thoda prakash dalein .......

Ye thread to Bollywood walon ko pedhana chahiye ....... Abhi kisi ko contact ker ke bolta hoon

[shweta123]

Yaar main ye Suna hoon ek baar hone ke baad 7 janam tahin peecha na chorti ye chhori ..... per haade to kai 2 bhi ker lein hain or 3 bi ...... unki ke har time 2 -3 ho hain thoda prakash dalein .......

Ye thread to Bollywood walon ko pedhana chahiye ....... Abhi kisi ko contact ker ke bolta hoon

Bilkul sahi suna hai aapne bas chori ki jagah chora likhna tha !

Ye 2-3 ke case me jara twist hai ..... 7 janam inme proportionately bat jaate honge shayad :o ..... BTW, contact hua kisi se :p

[sanjeetsparp]

Kaya karoon Shweta Madam ..... kuch samajh nahi aa reha hai .... or doosre office wale ek jegha pe jayada din baithne nahi dete na ... kehin bhi panucha dete hain ... khud shaadi kera ke baithe hain or akele aadmi ko basne nahi dete .... or bina time ke bas telephone operator ban sakta hoon .... us se jayada kuch nahi .....

[devchodhary]

why do we marry? Is it just because that when an individual reaches a certain age level,
he or she is under social obligation to tie the knot ? Or is it a guaranteed cushion for
the odd times, and thus inevitable ?

There is a moral side to this question as well: should people get married?
Is life better, for individuals and for society at large, when people get married?
These are those big questions for which centuries have gone to be answered.But y these
questions arising in our culture......coz married couples, whose numbers have been
declining for decades as a proportion not only of western countries but now in our
culture n in our country too.

a)the answer to that depends on a lot of variables, such as country of residence,
cultural expectations, familial and friendship influences, education, etc.
b)Country does have a large indication in this along with cultural things.
c)It's culturally based too. It's even more obvious in Indian cultures where the woman
must marry as a sign of prosperity.
d)Marriages are made in heaven or so we assume. But in truth marriage is a mere
social custom developed in order to maintain discipline in society.I guess
even without social license people are intelligent enough to select the partner that
suits them best and keep their life in order, so wats more dere to b controvers....
why do we marry, marriage is necessary or unnecessary.

[sumitsehrawat]

We marry so that all (omit us) live with peace.

Thanks,
Sumit

[prashantacmet]

It’s customarily said, marriages are made in heaven and solemnized on earth.

It’s the only crucial relation that bestows upon an individual the freedom to choose the one with whom he or she desires to live together for whole life ! It’s a time-honoured and exultant institution and has come of age and continues to be a tradition still germane.

But still some questions may not be out of place to be asked. To begin with, the first question is why do we marry? Is it just because that when an individual reaches a certain age level, he or she is under social obligation to tie the knot ? Or is it a guaranteed cushion for the odd times, and thus inevitable ?



Interesting !!........
Noone is digging out the actual cause. let me wait till truth comes out

[raj_rathee]

It’s customarily said, marriages are made in heaven and solemnized on earth.

It’s the only crucial relation that bestows upon an individual the freedom to choose the one with whom he or she desires to live together for whole life ! It’s a time-honoured and exultant institution and has come of age and continues to be a tradition still germane.

But still some questions may not be out of place to be asked. To begin with, the first question is why do we marry? Is it just because that when an individual reaches a certain age level, he or she is under social obligation to tie the knot ? Or is it a guaranteed cushion for the odd times, and thus inevitable ?



Marriage...:eek:...Its all about hope...

"As long as we have each other we'll never run out of problems."

[kabir]

Well, I don’t agree Kabir ! I am not yearning to be an educator when I say that its not marriage it’s the people coming together that are the sole decisive elements as to how they end up shaping this bonding like. A marriage can have deception to lay its foundation on or it can have understanding to keep it going gleefully ever after !

Man is a social creature however independent he may be or how much tech savvy he is. There is always a void in every human being that needs another human to make him feel complete and loved. And there is no substitute of love. Parents have their own role to play, friends have their own engagements to cater to but the need for some identified soul to be always around doesn’t know such designs. So I guess marriage must have been devised to keep two souls reserved for each other, forever !

And, about your conviction as to who wants to live in an institution, I can just say nothing comes without a cost, if someone wants a person to be around only in his dreadful epoch then it isn’t that easy. And I guess survival without a soothing soul isn’t practically possible. A commitment for lifetime is a serious deed indeed ! And if one can arrange for such a heavy commitment without an institution then its fine but risky affair indeed, and if one can dispense with any kind of emotional cushion then I have no words !


Quite ej...err...articulate but I am afraid you're confusing (or is it deliberate?) marriage with love. Regarding the deception thing, niether of us is qualified (I can vouch for my bachelorhood and I am not deceiving;)) to comment. As regard the commitment thing, intially one's commited to one's partner, then to the byproduct of marriages (children) and by the time your fledgling ducklings grow wings and fly away, you're too old to try new things.

More often than not it's not commitment but circumstances that prevent you from walking out of a relationship.

[kabir]

Oh...And marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence:).

[shweta123]

Marriage...:eek:...Its all about hope...

"As long as we have each other we'll never run out of problems."

Well, some people don't beleive in miracles, rather they rely on them ;) ..... so that means marriage keeps one equipped in this hoping and relying stuff:rolleyes: .... how hopeful it turns the whole situation ..... variety of problems and still a hope of how to be a problem ! :D .... confusing indeed!

[shweta123]

Quite ej...err...articulate but I am afraid you're confusing (or is it deliberate?) marriage with love. Regarding the deception thing, niether of us is qualified (I can vouch for my bachelorhood and I am not deceiving;)) to comment. As regard the commitment thing, intially one's commited to one's partner, then to the byproduct of marriages (children) and by the time your fledgling ducklings grow wings and fly away, you're too old to try new things.

More often than not it's not commitment but circumstances that prevent you from walking out of a relationship.

Well, your bachelorhood oath is taken on record Kabir :p ....and as regards the commitment vs. circumsatnces thing I can just say that both are beyond our control so that doesnt makes any point as to why one should refrain from getting married !

[crsnadar]

Bhagwaan kare sabhi ki (jinki nahi hui hai) jaldi se shaadi ho jaaye..!!:)
Jo jaha bhi chaahta ho wahi ho jaaye...but ho jaaye:)


Meri to dili tamanna thi ki LOVE marriage karu but kya karu...

Padhaai aur books ke chakkar me LOVE bechara wahi ka wahi reh gaya. Kabhi bechara ho hi nahi paaya kabhi...sochte hi reh gaye bas:)

But now I have found the solution...

By converting Arrange Marriage into Love Marriage...
Arrenge Marriage ko Love marriage me convert karke hi mujhe aur meri aatma ko shaanti mil sakti hai...

Ab to bas din raat yahi sochta rehta hu...kaha hogi wo...kaisi hogi wo...bechari...jiske palle mujhe bandh diya jaayega...

Abhi to bechari wo bhi bahut khush hogi...sapne dekh rahi hogi...but bechari ko kya maalum...Rahul to Rahul hi hai naa...koi sapno ka Rajkumar thode hai...dheere dheere adjust kar legi wo bhi...

But aap sabhi ko Best of Best of Luck hai humaari ore se.:)

[devchodhary]

I appriciate ur thoughts Rahul jii.
Shaadi humare jeevan ka ek sach hai, kuch ise kadva sach maante hai to
koi ise mitha anubhav batata hai. Sirf humare sochne samjane ka nazariya hai.
waise jab humare jeevan me koi satya ujaagar hone waala ho aur wo bhi aisa jiska hume barso pahle hi pata ho to....aise waqt ko khubsoorat banane ka hi sochna chahiye, jaisa ki aapne socha hai.
Hum chahkar bhi shaadi ko mithya nhi sakte , to fir shaadi se bhaagna kyu.....hume to chahiye ki inn aane waale khubsoorat palo ko is tarah se sajoye ki saari jindgi inki yaaden humare dillo me taaza rhe........

[anilsinghd]

just to give some food for the thinking people's brain !!!


if marriage was something that translated all the love and happiness into a blessed life , or something filled with lots of happy moments , why dont we have lots and lots of ideal examples of marriage ???

I mean iconic examples !! or something like that and y are we suffering from ever increasing divorce rate.
:confused:

Now if love ( read it the blessed state :p ) was the solution then all the 20 something affairs ( read it as love ) would have carried for life and resulted into a spiritual bliss.

:confused:


Not that i am reading finance and economics at least for 8 hours a day and my mind is captured by it ! :( but does the marginal utility provides some clue on things that dont happen and which should have happened ???:confused:

[poonam]

Shaadi, or for that matter, any relationship (blood or non-blood) is some sort of compromise. Never forget this and your life would be bliss...:)

At some point in life, we do compromise with our parents, our kids to keep life going then why can’t we do that with our spouse. Its perfectly normal I guess. No two individuals can live together in perfect harmony all the time. If they do, both or one of them is not normal.

I'm failing to recall a pretty similar comment by Brook Shields who is an accomplished model and juggled her life between marriage, career and motherhood. BUt the jest was pretty much the same what I have pointed as to why do we expect marriage to emerge as a perfect relation when our other relations even the blood ones are never perfect. More so, in a marriage the two people are new to each other, different personalities as compared to our blood relations.

Marrying or not marrying is upto you , your choice (well, I admit not so much in Indian context) but let me tell you I have seen people who choose not to marry and then few years down the lane they feel left out as all their friends are married and settled. And I have seen them going through a lot during that phase which is kind of ugly.

Anyway, trust me shaadi is not as bad. But If you are aiming for a perfect marriage (regardless of love/arranged) that doesn’t exist …not feasible …Period!

[poonam]

Don't you think "one of the charms of marriage is that it makes a life of deception an absolute necessity for both parties?"

Marriage is an institution, but who wants to live in an institution?:)

Oscar Wilde re-born...:p

And, by the way, the entire life itself is a deception regardless of your eyes wide shut at times...;)

[poonam]

[the first question is why do we marry?

To give each other ulcer for the rest of our lives....:D;)

[kabir]

Oscar Wilde re-born...:p

And, by the way, the entire life itself is a deception regardless of your eyes wide shut at times...;)

Wow! Beautiful is an understatement (I am talking about your thoughts:p;))

[shweta123]

Shaadi, or for that matter, any relationship (blood or non-blood) is some sort of compromise. Never forget this and your life would be bliss...:)

At some point in life, we do compromise with our parents, our kids to keep life going then why can’t we do that with our spouse. Its perfectly normal I guess. No two individuals can live together in perfect harmony all the time. If they do, both or one of them is not normal.

I'm failing to recall a pretty similar comment by Brook Shields who is an accomplished model and juggled her life between marriage, career and motherhood. BUt the jest was pretty much the same what I have pointed as to why do we expect marriage to emerge as a perfect relation when our other relations even the blood ones are never perfect. More so, in a marriage the two people are new to each other, different personalities as compared to our blood relations.

Marrying or not marrying is upto you , your choice (well, I admit not so much in Indian context) but let me tell you I have seen people who choose not to marry and then few years down the lane they feel left out as all their friends are married and settled. And I have seen them going through a lot during that phase which is kind of ugly.

Anyway, trust me shaadi is not as bad. But If you are aiming for a perfect marriage (regardless of love/arranged) that doesn’t exist …not feasible …Period!

~
~~

Firstly let me second your thoughts ! :) Shaadi, like all other relations has to rest on the shield of compromises, and compromise isn’t an appalling word indeed ! It is just a simple task to whittle out a common ground to plunk on, and is a simple give and take gesture.

And this goes for all kinds of relations. Just imagine even the special relationship of a mother and her child. If her grown up son does nothing to sustain on his own and he goes by his own whims and fancies, then how long can she go on without brooding on him. Give and take is an integral part of all relations, though this give and take may vary in its dimension and breed.

And really no two individuals can live together in perfect harmony all the time, so the fuss on Jatland is a sign of normalcy. Anyways, that’s also true that a marriage cant be all perfect !

Well, to further with the discussion the basic query still remains somewhat unanswered till now …….. difficult to explain ! Let me just come at it afterwards. When an arranged marriage is solemnized, there is an initial exchange of ideas between two parties. Then if they find the match mutually appropriate they go forward for the final thing. Then there is a huge pomp and show, all relatives and acquaintances are intimated and then starts a series of wish receiving era, all kind of sumptuous preparations, family give and takes, rituals etc. Then on the final day, the grand celebrations rests with the bride moving to the groom’s place ! Then this continues somewhat further. This is the basic structure of a marriage at least in India.

Now another side of the coin. Two people meet, they want to live together for the whole life, and their parents are ok with the decision. Now the couple, instead of tying the nuptial knot, moves to a house and starts living together in a so called ‘live-in’ relationship. Their contention being not to invite unwarranted attention and this journey through the majestic merriment. Now, the children born out of such relations are also ‘legitimate’ in legal terminology !

Now comparing both the situations, what is in marriage that makes it more special than simply going and start living together, what lies in the spirit that makes marriage a strong institution, what is that which makes its resonance sacred and socially accepted ? How must have this concept arose and what for ? And some such questions ………. Yet to be worded….

I have complete faith in the institution but just wanted to know why we acquire this ‘faith’ naturally !

[shweta123]

To give each other ulcer for the rest of our lives....:D;)

..... and helping each other to heal it ..... :p;)

[shweta123]

just to give some food for the thinking people's brain !!!


if marriage was something that translated all the love and happiness into a blessed life , or something filled with lots of happy moments , why dont we have lots and lots of ideal examples of marriage ???

I mean iconic examples !! or something like that and y are we suffering from ever increasing divorce rate.
:confused:

Now if love ( read it the blessed state :p ) was the solution then all the 20 something affairs ( read it as love ) would have carried for life and resulted into a spiritual bliss.

:confused:


Not that i am reading finance and economics at least for 8 hours a day and my mind is captured by it ! :( but does the marginal utility provides some clue on things that dont happen and which should have happened ???:confused:

Who says we dont have enough examples of ideal marriages ! Just the parameters of idealism are variable, hence the term is subjective !

Now, thats a myth that a successful marriage has to be ideal !! It has also been nicely explained by Poonam ....... and we dont find iconic examples because we have never tried to find icons in this field too. If you do, you will surely find many.

There are divorces, there are failed marriages, but just like few specimens of bad parenting cant rule out the importance of 'parenting' as such, similarly, few divorces cant rule out the importance of a 'shaadi' :) .......

Ye wo ladoo hai jo khaaye wo bhi pachtaaye, jo na khaaye wo bhi:) .......... ye aise hi nahi kaha gaya hai shayad ! ......... ye aisa ajeeb type ka ladoo kyo hai ?? :p

Well, failing of few marriages dont mean failing of an institution. It simply is failure to accomodate ones spouse and his family in your world of dreams and aspirations, its a personal failure indeed.

[anilsinghd]

Shaadi, or for that matter, any relationship (blood or non-blood) is some sort of compromise. Never forget this and your life would be bliss...:)

!


That pretty well should sum it up !!

===============================

On the topic :

For all audience :

Not to be hard to the institution of marriage , but Shaadi is a much bigger compromise than u do in other relations.

It somehow curbs your freedom in the sense that u are forced to stay that bit longer to prevent inviting troubles , on the one hand it is good but surely thats not ideal.


I would like to invite views on that "marginal utility " concept. I think it pretty well fits in , in the beginning we have a lot of craze for each other, a lot more passion but as time goes on we tend to be carefree , or to care less ( at least the male counterparts ) whereas due to their high emotional quotient , the females dont degrade themselves ( in the sense of follwing what was earlierthe norm ) !
And hence it just increases the vulnerability of the relationships ! Any comments ?:)

[gaganjat]

baki chizza ka tai manne is topic mai bera konya...par ik baat bera sai ak photu ghani kassoti chep rakhi sai...kunsa camera le rhe sai:p
batayie jaror..kadde nue kah de ak meri tai twachha ae issi sai


To give each other ulcer for the rest of our lives....:D;)

[deepakchoudhry]

One View:

Marriage is a man made institution. It was created by man, for man.

Women were treated like property. Rich/Powerful man would be known by how many women he possesed.

The situation was also not helped by constant wars among the nation states. Women would outnumber men in the Society, hence men were allowed to take more than one wife.

The religious authority of the time, to make sure poor man was not deprived of woman, manufactured the system of "marriage" and gave it stamp of religious authority, They made it a sin to acquire other man's wife.

Hindiusm like other religions allows polygamy, Hindus could have more than one wife (without divorce). After independence this was changed by the introduction of Personal Hindu Law.

The idea was to empower women in legally/socially/economically.



to be continued....8 Kind of Marriages

[deepakchoudhry]

There are eight types of marriage described in Manusmriti (Laws of Manu):

Rite of Brahmana (Brahma) - where the father of the bride invites a man learned in the Vedas and a good conduct, and gives his daughter in marriage to him after decking her with jewels and costly garments.
Rite of the Gods (Daiva) - where the daughter is groomed with ornaments and given to a priest who duly officiates at a sacrifice during the course of its performance of this rite.
Rite of the Rishis (Arsha) - when the father gives away his daughter after receiving a cow and a bull from the brightgroom.
Rite of the Prajapati - (Prajapatya) where the father gives away his daugher after blessing the couple with the text "May both of you perform together your duties"
Rite of the Asuras (Demons) - when the bridegroom receives a maiden after bestowing wealth to the kinsmen and to the bride according to his own will.
Rite of the Gandharva - the voluntary union of a maiden and her lover, which arises from desire and sexual intercourse for its purpose.
Rite of the Rakshasa - forcible abduction of a maiden from her home after her kinsmen have been slain or wounded and their houses broken open.
Rite of the Pisacha - when a man by stealth seduces a girl who is sleeping or intoxicated or is mentally disbalanced or handicappedPrajapatya and Ghandharva are pervelent today. Asura/Rakshasha/Pischa are lowly and sinful.

[jagmohan]

It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered?

Sagaai hui Shadi Hui Biwi ghar main aayi ghar SWARG ban gaya aur
main SWARGWASI.

They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is
love; after marriage it is self-defense

A person who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE.
A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.

Mashooka: Lagta hai meri aankh mein kuch gir gaya, dekho to
Mashook: ek tinka dikh to raha hai, kyon na usey wahin rahne diya jaye, main
doobonga to sahara dega

PS: This had been posted earlier on JL. Just a reminder for some of us....

Regards,

JSM

[sumitsehrawat]

Lotpot lotpot :D:D!!
good one [:)]!


It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE vs ARRANGED.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered?

Sagaai hui Shadi Hui Biwi ghar main aayi ghar SWARG ban gaya aur
main SWARGWASI.

They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is
love; after marriage it is self-defense

A person who surrenders when he's WRONG, is HONEST.
A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE.
A person who surrenders even if he's RIGHT, is a HUSBAND.

Mashooka: Lagta hai meri aankh mein kuch gir gaya, dekho to
Mashook: ek tinka dikh to raha hai, kyon na usey wahin rahne diya jaye, main
doobonga to sahara dega

PS: This had been posted earlier on JL. Just a reminder for some of us....

Regards,

JSM

[deepakchoudhry]

It’s customarily said, marriages are made in heaven and solemnized on earth.

It’s the only crucial relation that bestows upon an individual the freedom to choose the one with whom he or she desires to live together for whole life ! It’s a time-honoured and exultant institution and has come of age and continues to be a tradition still germane.

But still some questions may not be out of place to be asked. To begin with, the first question is why do we marry? Is it just because that when an individual reaches a certain age level, he or she is under social obligation to tie the knot ? Or is it a guaranteed cushion for the odd times, and thus inevitable ?



Happiness...We all want happiness and we seek them through relationships, objects or anything else.

If there is no happiness/satisfaction, we will shun it and move forward.

Society have been brainwashed, before by religion and now by media to beleive that marriage is be all and end all of life.

There should be no obligation or pressure of any kind. If one is not cut out for marriage, He or she should not marry.

You talk of certainty, so the only certainty in life is that "there is no certainty".

we can only "hope" for it but have no control over it.

If one is willing to give his/her best then go for it but don't expect anything else.

[deepakchoudhry]

just to give some food for the thinking people's brain !!!

if marriage was something that translated all the love and happiness into a blessed life , or something filled with lots of happy moments , why dont we have lots and lots of ideal examples of marriage ???

I mean iconic examples !! or something like that and y are we suffering from ever increasing divorce rate.
:confused:

Now if love ( read it the blessed state :p ) was the solution then all the 20 something affairs ( read it as love ) would have carried for life and resulted into a spiritual bliss.

:confused:


Not that i am reading finance and economics at least for 8 hours a day and my mind is captured by it ! :( but does the marginal utility provides some clue on things that dont happen and which should have happened ???:confused:

I have commented on this before.

Marriage was created, keeping that in time. Cold it may sound but this played a big role so that individuals can give physical / emotional / economical support to each other.

But the game has changed and rules are same, hence there is a clash.

[anilsinghd]

I have commented on this before.

Marriage was created, keeping that in time. Cold it may sound but this played a big role so that individuals can give physical / emotional / economical support to each other.

But the game has changed and rules are same, hence there is a clash.


Would be interesting to hear your thought on the marginal utility concept !!!

And for that matter it is equally applicable to all relationships ! Does not all relationships have to die after the passage of time ? Is nt the gratification ( call it pleasure , satiation , happiness ) declines over time and paves way for the breakage of bond ?