Empowering woman & her strength

[choudharyneelam]

There are four male relationships very close to a woman. These are in chronological order as:

FATHER
BROTHER
HUSBAND
SON
Father, tries to understand his daughter till she is immature,
Brother hardly understands his sister, and
Husband, any big success he might have achieved but always fails to understand his lovely woman.

Only Son understands his mother to the best and fullest. Now, if the understanding stage comes at last, then half the life is spent by the woman always struggling to make others understand about her.

Today, everybody is expecting a woman to be empowered. That's really good...........

Can anybody explain how to make ourselves more empowered ? Is it(empowerment) only related to woman working outside? How can she be empowered properly along with a good understanding by all the male relationships?

Every woman has high self-esteem which is most of the time confused with EGO, a characteristic of every man. So, how to take the woman out of this misunderstood trap and euipt the tools of empowerment in her hands?

I would be more pleased if both men and women take part to explain me about this.

Regards
Neelam

[sachinb]

Just to explain that how brothers treat their sisters and how protective and caring they are about their sisters,,,,,

I will just quote a very blunt Haryanvi saying about the place of brothers in the life of a sister:-

"*Raand to vaa ho se jiske mar jyaa Bhai".

* Raand means Widow

People who know this saying will explain the seriousness of this saying in Haryana. How important brothers are for sisters and vice-versa. Ofcourse Fathers keep the equal space for their daughters, but here why brother has been quoted is that because they are from the same age group and brother will take care of his sister throughout her life span







There are four male relationships very close to a woman. These are in chronological order as:
FATHER
BROTHER
HUSBAND
SON
Father, tries to understand his daughter till she is immature,
Brother hardly understands his sister, and
Husband, any big success he might have achieved but always fails to understand his lovely woman.

Only Son understands his mother to the best and fullest. Now, if the understanding stage comes at last, then half the life is spent by the woman always struggling to make others understand about her.

Today, everybody is expecting a woman to be empowered. That's really good...........

Can anybody explain how to make ourselves more empowered ? Is it(empowerment) only related to woman working outside? How can she be empowered properly along with a good understanding by all the male relationships?

Every woman has high self-esteem which is most of the time confused with EGO, a characteristic of every man. So, how to take the woman out of this misunderstood trap and euipt the tools of empowerment in her hands?

I would be more pleased if both men and women take part to explain me about this.

Regards
Neelam

[choudharyneelam]

Sachin, though I'm pleased to see your immediate response, but I feel like adding few more words in relation to you reply...

I'm not saying that any of these affectionate relationship has no importance of their role in a woman's life. I also have one lovable and sweetest brother and can understand better what protection and love he extend towards his sisters even though he is youngest of all. May God bless him in his way and the like blessings that I always have for him, but not always spoken in words audible to others. So, again I think this 'understanding' word is getting restricted.

[Rmandaura]

In my opinion education especially among Girls is the only and best empowering tool. Neelam, you must have seen that majority of educated women around you are empowered. For me empowerment of a woman is her freedom to do and live with dignity, love, respect and care from all the four persons mentioned in the first post. Women have remained supressed since ages though they possess great strenth which needs to be reinvented through education.

And protection for sister, wife and daughter should not always be considered as restriction as it is an outcome of love towards them and is a basic instinct.

Men should not get threatened by the word ‘women empowerment’ and understand that women wish to be understood properly by men and given due respect and encouragement. Once you give respect it is fully reciprocated by others.

The process is gradual and little bit of change can be felt in villages as compared to that faced by our mothers.

Again I would say proper education is the key to empowerment of the women.

[sidchhikara]

Only Son understands his mother to the best and fullest. Now, if the understanding stage comes at last, then half the life is spent by the woman always struggling to make others understand about her.


A son being understanding of his mother is not a zero sum game, he forgets to understand his wife. The only option left for the wife is to make him understand by various methods like throwing tantrums, belan can be used in extreme circumstances.

[vivekdh]

mast, 1 dum sahi kaha :D
maa ne samje to marre biwi ne samje to marre bechare chore ne koi ni samjata :rock


A son being understanding of his mother is not a zero sum game, he forgets to understand his wife. The only option left for the wife is to make him understand by various methods like throwing tantrums, belan can be used in extreme circumstances.

[navingulia]

it applies to women, it applies to every one else- nothing can empower you as strongly as you yourself.
the first empowerment will begin from the mind. a friend of mine while talking was continuously using the phrase 'as a woman' viz as a woman one cant do this, as a woman one has to ...and so on. i told her 'never use these words 'as a woman' - everytime you use them you make yourself weaker.
some time back khushwant singh made a statement 'indian women end up becoming husband hunters' and lot women hated him for this but factually he was stating the truth.
indian urban women never focus on physical fitness (except for trying to be slim). one can never see a girl/woman jogging in the morning. whenever a requirement to run, lift or reach comes, they have to turn to the nearest man.
women and their relationship with other women. it is very easy for women to have strong differences even between sisters, mother-daughter, leave aside sis-in-law and m-in-law.
i feel women need to empower themselves
(most of the drawbacks originate from the social set-up they are brought up in. yes, the society has to play its role but maximum work for women empowerment women will have to do themselves)

[sachinb]

You are absolutely correct, education is the tool which opens gate for empowerment not only for women but also for all those who are deprived of their rights.

It is very difficult to mistreate or deprive a person from his/her rights who is educated, has knowledge and enlightned.

However there are certain things which nature has designed in such a way and they should not be taken as hinderance. There is difference between the physiology of man & woman, there nature etc and based on that there are some work which males can perform better and there are some work which females can perform with excellence. With advancement of the society there is interchange of roles also and females are productively contributing in the fields which used to be conisdered as Men forte, but basic nature of both the sexes remains same.

Lekin ek baat aur hai,,,,sun kar taklif to hogi,,,,,"Man Bashing is Considered(falsely) as the first tool of Empowerment for women.":boxing:rock mauj lyo

Male and females are complimentary to each other and both should get their due respect and status in the society


In my opinion education especially among Girls is the only and best empowering tool. Neelam, you must have seen that majority of educated women around you are empowered. For me empowerment of a woman is her freedom to do and live with dignity, love, respect and care from all the four persons mentioned in the first post. Women have remained supressed since ages though they possess great strenth which needs to be reinvented through education.

And protection for sister, wife and daughter should not always be considered as restriction as it is an outcome of love towards them and is a basic instinct.

Men should not get threatened by the word ‘women empowerment’ and understand that women wish to be understood properly by men and given due respect and encouragement. Once you give respect it is fully reciprocated by others.

The process is gradual and little bit of change can be felt in villages as compared to that faced by our mothers.

Again I would say proper education is the key to empowerment of the women.

[anilsinghd]

I am mostly in sync with the tools that people pointed out regarding education and awareness.

I infact am more prone to using Navin's idea of empowering oneself! I guess it is more person specific.

Even before reading Navin's post , i was of the view that women themselves have to make more efforts in terms of better expressing what they feel , believe in , projecting their ideas and self in an more expressive way.

I guess they must understand the notions and processes running against them , so it is imperative for them to try and make efforts towards breaking the same things!

I have my cousin sis in law to quote , she was projected like an evil when she came on board but now everyone "gungaans" her ! So it is very important that you try hard and prove yourself and i believe every women can do that.

I have found some to be extremely conservative when it comes to conveying their ideas!:)

[devdahiya]

Only women will have to do this....no one is going to empower them and why should some body do that.They are strong enough to get what they deserve.....they need no mehrbaani from any one.Khudi ko kar bullund ittena ke khudda momen se ye poochhe......Power mangta kya...?


Men will never do it for them ever.Kindly do not mix the sympathy with empowerment.Women should need no one's sympathy as their contribution to the every household and to the society at large had always been equal if not more to the men.Stand up and stop getting exploited(where ever its happening)

[neels]

Well said by Dahiya Sir, Navin and Anil; Untill unless one is not independent in all aspects (and most importantly financially) and keep looking at other male relations for everything, no empowerment can come in real sense. And one more thing what women have to learn is 'To Be Assertive'. Maintaining cordial relations and respecting them is desirable, but always giving into others demands and wishes is a different thing. Learn to do what you like to and feel right to do; as well as Learn to say No to what you dont want to. Being assertive is very important for the general well-being, mental health and happiness.

[choudharyneelam]

[Can anybody explain how to make ourselves more empowered ? Is it(empowerment) only related to woman working outside? How can she be empowered properly along with a good understanding by all the male relationships?

Every woman has high self-esteem which is most of the time confused with EGO, a characteristic of every man. So, how to take the woman out of this misunderstood trap and euipt the tools of empowerment in her hands?]

Ok friends, I received the answers of my all questions except one.....highlighted above

I also agree that education and awareness are the simplest tools for getting empowered, as shared by Ranjit, Navin, Sachin and Anil. But I want to know more about this empowerment in relation with working women to comprehend how exactly today's women are taking it.

Next, how to deal with this EGO characteristic....as sometimes most of the clashes arise due to this only....I mean when woman's high self-esteem is mistaken as ego.

I also agree with what Navin has written about Khushwant Singh. So, how to deal with such relations, b'coz what I've seen that most of the woman handover their weaknesses to husbands and these husbands then exploit or treat woman as per their liking (though many sweet and lovely couples I've seen)

[choudharyneelam]

Well said by Dahiya Sir, Navin and Anil; Untill unless one is not independent in all aspects (and most importantly financially) and keep looking at other male relations for everything, no empowerment can come in real sense. And one more thing what women have to learn is 'To Be Assertive'. Maintaining cordial relations and respecting them is desirable, but always giving into others demands and wishes is a different thing. Learn to do what you like to and feel right to do; as well as Learn to say No to what you dont want to. Being assertive is very important for the general well-being, mental health and happiness.

Even the same for u :)

What if I say NO for doing job after some years? B'coz my choice or inclined area can get change. :)....So, will I be considered as one lacking empowerment? Many times I had observed that clashes also arise at such conditions because at some places woman is asked to look after the home as well as to work along with that by compelling her to do so....saying, when other woman can handle both the jobs simultaneously, then why can't u and many other arguments take place.

[neels]

Even the same for u :)

What if I say NO for doing job after some years? B'coz my choice or inclined area can get change. :)....So, will I be considered as one lacking empowerment? Many times I had observed that clashes also arise at such conditions because at some places woman is asked to look after the home as well as to work along with that by compelling her to do so....saying, when other woman can handle both the jobs simultaneously, then why can't u and many other arguments take place.

Well Neelam, answer to your question that Is empowerment only related to women working outside? is that Its not that empowerment is related to only those who are working. But yes being financially independent is the one of the important requirements to be empowered. Well exceptions can be there where a family/husband can be so supportive to provide you full freedom to do whatever and also provide free flow of finances for that. But not in most cases woman is free to do a bit even with her own earned money, so being financially independent, hence working, is very important to seek other independences.

And well the option you mentioned above is very hypothetical, its difficult to make a decision about a future situation right now. As your own decision of working or not working will depend on lot many things n situations of that time.

[devdahiya]

[Can anybody explain how to make ourselves more empowered ? Is it(empowerment) only related to woman working outside? How can she be empowered properly along with a good understanding by all the male relationships?

Every woman has high self-esteem which is most of the time confused with EGO, a characteristic of every man. So, how to take the woman out of this misunderstood trap and euipt the tools of empowerment in her hands?]

Ok friends, I received the answers of my all questions except one.....highlighted above

I also agree that education and awareness are the simplest tools for getting empowered, as shared by Ranjit, Navin, Sachin and Anil. But I want to know more about this empowerment in relation with working women to comprehend how exactly today's women are taking it.

Next, how to deal with this EGO characteristic....as sometimes most of the clashes arise due to this only....I mean when woman's high self-esteem is mistaken as ego.

I also agree with what Navin has written about Khushwant Singh. So, how to deal with such relations, b'coz what I've seen that most of the woman handover their weaknesses to husbands and these husbands then exploit or treat woman as per their liking (though many sweet and lovely couples I've seen)




Neelam it seems to me a harbored notion that self esteem of a women is taken as her Ego.....very wrong dear.All married people out here(barring an exception) will agree with me that they respect and love their ladies the way they are and give them tremendous space to grow and feel loved.After all Men are also human and have a tiny heart.I for one respect my wife and love every thing about her.Any husband who exploits his wife on any count is not worh calling a husband...he must be a JANWAR .....a stupid exception.

[devdahiya]

Even the same for u :)

What if I say NO for doing job after some years? B'coz my choice or inclined area can get change. :)....So, will I be considered as one lacking empowerment? Many times I had observed that clashes also arise at such conditions because at some places woman is asked to look after the home as well as to work along with that by compelling her to do so....saying, when other woman can handle both the jobs simultaneously, then why can't u and many other arguments take place.



Neelam these arguments are futile and hold no waters.All women happily look after many things in the overall interest of the family and so does the husband..............life is not GUDDE-GUDDIYA ka khel...it is a hard reality.

[anilsinghd]

Doctor , I disagree with you that being financially independent is the main criterion or the majority. Majority folks are in villages and perhaps cannot do a job. But they own the business of land , dairy etc apart from daily household work.

They are financially independent in the sense that they are about 50 % of the earnings , it is just that it is not reflected in the balance sheets! :)

Might be mine more inclination to psychology these days , but i actually wrote between the lines of what Neelam asked and i firmly believe that marketing , projecting , conveying , and as you mentioned , asserting has more to do with the need of the hour.

Remember as a human we all are averse to a change , and so will be men while acknowledging that women are of equal status. Is not that all but natural? So there aint any blame on anyone , i guess!

Lets do it this way , women have to be assertive , but they cannot present an EGOISTIC picture , instead it is there responsibility to make sure that the perception the husband or someone else gets is of "SELF-ESTEEM". Are not we talking about the same in the thread : feeling of proud "? Note that what is obvious for you and me and let's say Nysa and similar thinking is not for others. For some proud is still a negative trait. For some , ego is always negative. :)

So we cannot assume a generalised approach , it has to be individualistic! It is not a trivial assertion , you got to prove it as well and let me say this , you not only got to prove but also please as well ;)

And mind you , if ladies recognise their powers themselves ( that is why i called for a self understanding , assessment , realisation in the very first place ) , it ain;t difficult. And we still are not talking about seduction here ;) !

[neels]

Doctor , I disagree with you that being financially independent is the main criterion or the majority. Majority folks are in villages and perhaps cannot do a job. But they own the business of land , dairy etc apart from daily household work.

They are financially independent in the sense that they are about 50 % of the earnings , it is just that it is not reflected in the balance sheets! :)

;) !

I said being finacially independent is important, the source of earning can be any. Those who earn through businesses like this are the real enterpreuners. But not only doing a job or earning is significant, if you can not take a decision on your own. And thus to be independent, one needs assertion.

[devdahiya]

I said being finacially independent is important, the source of earning can be any. Those who earn through businesses like this are the real enterpreuners. But not only doing a job or earning is significant, if you can not take a decision on your own. And thus to be independent, one needs assertion.



So very true and crisp.

[choudharyneelam]

Neelam it seems to me a harbored notion that self esteem of a women is taken as her Ego.....very wrong dear.All married people out here(barring an exception) will agree with me that they respect and love their ladies the way they are and give them tremendous space to grow and feel loved.After all Men are also human and have a tiny heart.I for one respect my wife and love every thing about her.Any husband who exploits his wife on any count is not worh calling a husband...he must be a JANWAR .....a stupid exception.


U r right, Sir. Even when I argue on such matters.....I mean the same way you expressed here, some people asked me to consider these exceptions also, as future about life cannot be seen in advance.....anyways, I totally agree with your last few words for such men.

Rest, about Dr. Rathee's response....again I agree word to word....and that you talked about freedom makes a great sense.....for an example, my mother is not working anywhere but all the financial matters she has to hold just because of busy schedules of papa (though complicated matters are dealt by each other's common decisions). And even after she is not at working position (in any office), I knew that she has empowered herself by demanding her education right during her childhood, that time when hardly any girl dare to raise her voice even for something right and most deserving. So, for me empowerment is related with ability.....anything with the help of which a person can stand for his/her basic rights and makes himself/herself capable to do something without always making identity like beggar/unhelped.

But what you talked about sympathy didn't appealed me in your earlier reply......If a woman is asking for money or help from her husband then its husband's responsibity to look after that, while she is looking after her responsibilties, caring everytime about each and every little thing. So, this cannot be termed as sympathetic character.....same I've seen in mummy's case.....If my mother is dependent on my papa for finance, then on other side my papa is dependent on mummy. Getting at job and earning money is good only when there is its requirement, otherwise there is no need to prove ourselves independent so as to be called empowered.

Empowerment makes a person good decision-maker, to select what's right/wrong, to get the respect which he/she is deprived of, to know more about his/her worth, etc. Woman who lacks such things remain in the same old vicious circle, though its still vicious in nature but the problems has been changed and the main affected part is the relationship.

One more reason why I asked you to elaborate this important word in relation with job, b'coz during some project assignment, all my friends were selecting their role model as some very famous personality and then enclosing how that particular lady is empowered and I took my mother as role model to conclude the same thing, though she is just a matriculate by qualification but not by education. And still if I find that my mother has missed some/other thing then also I feel good other way because she only made me capable to think and find the difference and also to understand the reason behind that difference.....but then, nobody is perfect/completely satisfied in this world. :)

[devdahiya]

U r right, Sir. Even when I argue on such matters.....I mean the same way you expressed here, some people asked me to consider these exceptions also, as future about life cannot be seen in advance.....anyways, I totally agree with your last few words for such men.

Rest, about Dr. Rathee's response....again I agree word to word....and that you talked about freedom makes a great sense.....for an example, my mother is not working anywhere but all the financial matters she has to hold just because of busy schedules of papa (though complicated matters are dealt by each other's common decisions). And even after she is not at working position (in any office), I knew that she has empowered herself by demanding her education right during her childhood, that time when hardly any girl dare to raise her voice even for something right and most deserving. So, for me empowerment is related with ability.....anything with the help of which a person can stand for his/her basic rights and makes himself/herself capable to do something without always making identity like beggar/unhelped.

But what you talked about sympathy didn't appealed me in your earlier reply......If a woman is asking for money or help from her husband then its husband's responsibity to look after that, while she is looking after her responsibilties, caring everytime about each and every little thing. So, this cannot be termed as sympathetic character.....same I've seen in mummy's case.....If my mother is dependent on my papa for finance, then on other side my papa is dependent on mummy. Getting at job and earning money is good only when there is its requirement, otherwise there is no need to prove ourselves independent so as to be called empowered.

Empowerment makes a person good decision-maker, to select what's right/wrong, to get the respect which he/she is deprived of, to know more about his/her worth, etc. Woman who lacks such things remain in the same old vicious circle, though its still vicious in nature but the problems has been changed and the main affected part is the relationship.

One more reason why I asked you to elaborate this important word in relation with job, b'coz during some project assignment, all my friends were selecting their role model as some very famous personality and then enclosing how that particular lady is empowered and I took my mother as role model to conclude the same thing, though she is just a matriculate by qualification but not by education. And still if I find that my mother has missed some/other thing then also I feel good other way because she only made me capable to think and find the difference and also to understand the reason behind that difference.....but then, nobody is perfect/completely satisfied in this world. :)



Very mature post Neelam.Keep it up!

[choudharyneelam]

Neelam these arguments are futile and hold no waters.All women happily look after many things in the overall interest of the family and so does the husband..............life is not GUDDE-GUDDIYA ka khel...it is a hard reality.

Ya, exactly......but don't think it like putting ourselves into the situation....most of the men take that way and that's why no. of divorce cases are in the knowledge even after ladies getting high qualifications and reputed job.....I just want to say, that neither woman should take her empowerment in an incomplete manner, nor the man should keep the complete authority

When I was in 12th, during some free time we asked our Economics lecturer that how she took teaching as her profession......she smiled at our question and replied that it was a kind of force to take her into this profession...even for the job......when we asked, didn't u aware about the family's choice.....then she told us exactly how these smart guys deal with such things......She was being finalised by the guy only after one promise that he won't insist her to work untill and unless she feels the need for it. And it was all accepted by the guy because he and his family were ready to bring her into their family. But then, immediately after her marriage they created the situation creating need for job.....at that time she took it spontaneously without having much argument.....but after few years of experience the truth was revealed....uske baad to job se pyaar ho gaya tha to chhodne ka chance hi nahin tha.....so this was her little story.....even at times, she don't feel like working, then also she has to work as these men are very smart to create another new situation of need. And, there are many other such examples I'm familiar with. So, why a man has to play these smart tactics?

[annch]

Navin Ji,
It was a delight to read your post as I can identify with it. My source of empowerment is my mother (she has no formal education, housewife), very ably supported by my father. That empowerment, that has been so well explained by other members of the forum as well, is the freedom of choice.
Then the next step is assertion as Dr Neelam said, and last step is the responsibility that comes with that freedom of choice, and dealing with the consequences of choice.
Whether it is ego or self respect or pride, its subjective. I define myself first before others do.
"Give me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change, Give me the power to change the things that I can and most of all Give me the wisdom to know the difference"-Reinhold Niebuhr

Best,

it applies to women, it applies to every one else- nothing can empower you as strongly as you yourself.
the first empowerment will begin from the mind. a friend of mine while talking was continuously using the phrase 'as a woman' viz as a woman one cant do this, as a woman one has to ...and so on. i told her 'never use these words 'as a woman' - everytime you use them you make yourself weaker.
)

[choudharyneelam]

"Give me the serenity to accept things that I cannot change, Give me the power to change the things that I can and most of all Give me the wisdom to know the difference"-Reinhold Niebuhr

Best,

Same word I would like to say to your this quote and good is your participation like other worthy members :)

Keep sharing :)

[annch]

Thank you. You write very well and balanced, of course straight from the heart, and its a pleasure to read your posts...


Keep sharing :)

[poonamchaudhary]

Its a very good topic Neelam that you have chosen. But also a very vast one which entails so much that one can go discussing on it. Why is it so?...because there genuinly is a need of empowerment for women...because women have been lagging behind in terms of development for ages...becuse this patriarchal set up of our society has not taken the concerns of women seriously. And there are myriad of such causes. Simply saying that women in today's world are no more lagging behind cannot dismiss the fact that its a reality of only urban society while the gloomy picture of women in rural areas is still the same as it has been for years. In rural set up still the women are devoid of choices, still they remain within the confines of houses which are ruled by men and they spend their whole lives within those confines not even knowing that a big and fast developing world exists outside in which women have reached even the stars. When we talk of empowerment we talk of those very women and not of those who are already empowered to a satisfying extent. Those are the women who are desperately in need of the freedom of choices. Lets think about them and only then will we be able to talk of empowerment of women in the right sense.

Now i completely agree with Dr Neelam Rathi who stated that financial independence is necessary for empowerment of women. I think all will agree to this statement that when we are financially strong (and here i am talking of all not just women) a number of oppurtunities,possibilities and securities open up in front of us. The more financially strong a person is the more empowered he/she is. Its a strong entity that decides the extent of our empowerment. Women became weakened in the history because this financial machinery was totally taken over and controlled by men. Men took the responsibility of running and governing the system of production while women were relegated to background if at all they participated in the production process. Subjection of women was complete in this way and they did not have any say or any choices in the larger scheme of things.

This is why empowerment is required and if at all it comes it will come through participation of women in the process of production of both goods and services. And their participation will bring about financial independence thus opening up a whole arena of choices to women.

[annch]

Poonam Ji,
Your post is very apt, thank you.
A case study of Shri Mahila Gram Udyog Lijjat Papad truly represents the strength and spirit of a woman, and empowerment of woman.
I beg to differ from you in just one point. Freedom of choice comes first, (i.e. freedom to choose to be financially independent and bear the consequences), then the financial independence, and then the label of success. For that freedom of choice, a woman needs a mindset, as stated by Navin Ji. That freedom of choice is ineffective if a woman does not assert it, as Dr. Neelam suggested.
The freedom of choice is for every woman who lacks it, but needs it
With regards,


Those are the women who are desperately in need of the freedom of choices. Lets think about them and only then will we be able to talk of empowerment of women in the right sense.

.

[positivelook]

Well the topic u have started Neelam is very vast and i dont know hwether ur talking here only abt Jat women or u ppl are discussing the whole India. If we discuss abt whole India tht would be bit vast.
I want to put my input on Haryana Jat women. As i m away from country since 2003 and been visit their every year i can see the difference evry year which is a good sign. In Haryana today women is much more strong and educated and doing good in every field. But there is one big issue that when a girl from a jat family steps out from her house she is expected to follow the customs and also expected to keep the pride of trhe family in the society. In Jats the whole pride of a family is seen according to the character of women related to that family and thatswhy Jats used to keep the women in the house.
Things are changing now and today jat women are working and taking education and making them self sufficient but they lack confidence and that is due to the lack of communication they had while they study in college or University cos they don't talk o boys and al that but when they work they have to work with male members as well and that is the time u require confidence.
So confidence is a key in making urself empower. Well there is alot to write but lack of time is stopping me.

Abhimanyu Phougat

[sunitahooda]

How can Education empower a women when "THE SPECIALIZATION" of a daughter-in-law is decided by an Uneducated Mother-in-law and that too just to save a couple of hundred rupees because the books were lying in the house?

Yes, your main point education is strong but the generation gap and narrow minded attitude puts all relations in a miserable state. Also MEN are not the only obstacle women are no less culprits( on in-laws side)
In my opinion education especially among Girls is the only and best empowering tool. Neelam, you must have seen that majority of educated women around you are empowered. For me empowerment of a woman is her freedom to do and live with dignity, love, respect and care from all the four persons mentioned in the first post. Women have remained supressed since ages though they possess great strenth which needs to be reinvented through education.

And protection for sister, wife and daughter should not always be considered as restriction as it is an outcome of love towards them and is a basic instinct.

Men should not get threatened by the word ‘women empowerment’ and understand that women wish to be understood properly by men and given due respect and encouragement. Once you give respect it is fully reciprocated by others.

The process is gradual and little bit of change can be felt in villages as compared to that faced by our mothers.

Again I would say proper education is the key to empowerment of the women.

[rkumar]

How a man can empower a woman when he himself looks towards her for empowerment? Empowerment is a total illusion. More appropriate would be the fulfillment in relationship which leads of sense of empowerment. I don’t think most men are against women for anything they want to achieve. Most husbands support their wives for anything and everything they are capable of. If a wife is unable to get support of her husband and vice verse, problem may be their individual and not because man woman relationship. If one knows how to get support, I am sure other side will certainly extend support and it applies to both man and woman.

RK^2

[sunitahooda]

Neelam we can't be dead sure of any of these relations of understanding a women completely. In some cases a father fails, in some brother fails, in some husband fails and in some son fails. But Why do we have to look towards MALE in any form for our empowerment? I completely agree with Neelam Rathee when she said to be financially strong. Most of the women are going through all sort of traumas just because they are FINANCIALLY DEPENDENT on either father/brother/husband or son. And no matter how great write-ups one writes here the truth prevails that the women look towards male faces for their education/career/happiness/freedom or rather i would say Independence, here by Independence i don't mean women is caged and kept in a kaal-kothari but freedom of speech and fulfilling her demands and even freedom of putting her DEMANDS in front of father/brother/husband/son. If women has a career of her own, she has chosen it by her choice, working by choice, living life with confidence, is free to earn and FREE TO SPEND i feel she's empowered. In numerous cases SHE JUST EARNS DOES NOT SPEND a single rupee as per her choice and on herself. In that case working and earning is as good as a non-working female.

One more thing to add my brother understands me more than anyone else and in few cases i have realized that even a friend can understand you where father/brother/husband and son failed.

As Navin said and i feel so too "We'll feel empowered when we stop looking towards someone else for our empowerment and i'm feeling proud to be empowered for years:)
There are four male relationships very close to a woman. These are in chronological order as:

FATHER
BROTHER
HUSBAND
SON
Father, tries to understand his daughter till she is immature,
Brother hardly understands his sister, and
Husband, any big success he might have achieved but always fails to understand his lovely woman.

Only Son understands his mother to the best and fullest. Now, if the understanding stage comes at last, then half the life is spent by the woman always struggling to make others understand about her.

Today, everybody is expecting a woman to be empowered. That's really good...........

Can anybody explain how to make ourselves more empowered ? Is it(empowerment) only related to woman working outside? How can she be empowered properly along with a good understanding by all the male relationships?

Every woman has high self-esteem which is most of the time confused with EGO, a characteristic of every man. So, how to take the woman out of this misunderstood trap and euipt the tools of empowerment in her hands?

I would be more pleased if both men and women take part to explain me about this.

Regards
Neelam

[poonamchaudhary]

Dear Anju, i respect your concerns and views and the example of Mahila Gram Udyog that you have highlighted is a very good one. Now let me make my stand more clear...first of all what i wanted to establish was the importance of economic independence which we tend to overlook while discussing the concerns of women. It is this economic dependence of women over men which lies somewhere in the roots of this problem of subjection of women. So its very essential for us to understand its significance. As far as freedom of choices is concerned there essentially are two ways in which it can come...firstly, as i already have said is through economic independence and secondly through education and awareness. But there are many other ways in which this freedom can be secured viz legal, political means etc. But i give more importance to the two means that i have just mentioned. Things are not as simple as they appear and we can keep discussing these issues sitting here and enjoying our empowerment. I will give my example...my great grandmother was a very powerful and spirited woman (she is my role model). She took care of our big household singlehandedly but then my family was never known by her name,its known by the name of my grandfather. She had a freedom of choices to a certain extent but then her life was no different than the lives of other rural women. So it becomes essential to move beyond the confines of that small world to which women are confined and in which women exercise whatever little freedom of choice they have got. It is essential to participate in the economic process and get educated to have that freedom of choices in the real sense of the word or rather i should say to broaden their horizon and make difference to the society. And assertion of this freedom will become a reality after this happens.

Poonam Ji,
Your post is very apt, thank you.
A case study of Shri Mahila Gram Udyog Lijjat Papad truly represents the strength and spirit of a woman, and empowerment of woman.
I beg to differ from you in just one point. Freedom of choice comes first, (i.e. freedom to choose to be financially independent and bear the consequences), then the financial independence, and then the label of success. For that freedom of choice, a woman needs a mindset, as stated by Navin Ji. That freedom of choice is ineffective if a woman does not assert it, as Dr. Neelam suggested.
The freedom of choice is for every woman who lacks it, but needs it
With regards,

[annch]

Sunita Ji,

You elaborated the concept of "freedom of choice" so well, thank you

freedom of speech and fulfilling her demands and even freedom of putting her DEMANDS in front of father/brother/husband/son. If women has a career of her own, she has chosen it by her choice, working by choice, living life with confidence, is free to earn and FREE TO SPEND i feel she's empowered. In numerous cases SHE JUST EARNS DOES NOT SPEND a single rupee as per her choice and on herself. In that case working and earning is as good as a non-working female.

s:)

Poonam Ji,
I agree with what you have written, and i definitely rest my case.
I can say for myself that I had a very supportive environment, that made my empowerment an easy task in comparison to women who do not have very encouraging back grounds.
With regards,