Add An "ADDI-TUDE" in your life:)

[sunitahooda]

There's a story about a woman who did not keep a tidy house. One day someone gave her a beautiful rose which she brought home and put in a vase in her lobby. The rose, though, showed up the vase which was tarnished and dusty, so she polished the vase and set the rose and vase on the table.

But now something was wrong with the table. It looked terrible. It had to be cleaned as well. At last the woman stood back and admired the sparkling table, the polished vase, and the beautiful rose.

But to her dismay, the whole lobby and House now seemed dull and murky. Before she knew it, she found herself scrubbing the walls, washing the curtains, and opening the windows to let light and air into every dark corner.

We all deserve best. For achieving that we need to do some changes in our attitude, our mind sets, our life style etc. I

If you make one small change in your life, light up one small corner, in no time your whole life can take on a different look. If you're dissatisfied with your life at this point, give some serious consideration to that one area you could change.

By having a "RIGHT" attitude we can not only change our lives but many lives of those around us. You are requested to "EXPRESS" atleast one thing " YOU WANT TO CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF" and similarly "SOMETHING" that you want to change in any of your friend/ colleague/ wife/ parents/ brother/ sister etc.

I wish to change my habit of "JUMPING onto conclusions" as many times i tend to do mistakes and judge wrongly:o

[bhavnasingh20]

There's a story about a woman who did not keep a tidy house. One day someone gave her a beautiful rose which she brought home and put in a vase in her lobby. The rose, though, showed up the vase which was tarnished and dusty, so she polished the vase and set the rose and vase on the table.

But now something was wrong with the table. It looked terrible. It had to be cleaned as well. At last the woman stood back and admired the sparkling table, the polished vase, and the beautiful rose.

But to her dismay, the whole lobby and House now seemed dull and murky. Before she knew it, she found herself scrubbing the walls, washing the curtains, and opening the windows to let light and air into every dark corner.

We all deserve best. For achieving that we need to do some changes in our attitude, our mind sets, our life style etc. I

If you make one small change in your life, light up one small corner, in no time your whole life can take on a different look. If you're dissatisfied with your life at this point, give some serious consideration to that one area you could change.

By having a "RIGHT" attitude we can not only change our lives but many lives of those around us. You are requested to "EXPRESS" atleast one thing " YOU WANT TO CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF" and similarly "SOMETHING" that you want to change in any of your friend/ colleague/ wife/ parents/ brother/ sister etc.

I wish to change my habit of "JUMPING onto conclusions" as many times i tend to do mistakes and judge wrongly:o



after a really long time m reading somethin very nice on JL....

thank u so much for starting this thread :)....

well i wish to change my habit of hanging onto things for too long......in the end it only disturbs my peace of mind n affects me adversely......

[navingulia]

great!
self analysis is necessary always regularly
solutions to all our woes are inside us, while we keep hunting outside

Sunita, just like your example of rose, i thing from among the meaningless fights and arguments and personal grudges.......the rose of understanding, intellectualism, purpose and good is making its presence felt on Jatland and gaining space (something once considered impossible). makes me feel so glad.

[sunitahooda]

Bhavna thanks for your kind words.
Now in context to your wish of bringing change in yourself. I also used to suffer from this:)But gradually i started giving a consideration and asking myself IS IT really worth the aggravation i'm taking? and it would ease out my heart when i get an answer from "WITHIN" saying NO it isn't.

Decision is ours so we should hang on to things that make us happy and try to let go that makes us unhappy:) But mustn't waste too much of positive energy on things that are not even WORTH GIVING A GLANCE
after a really long time m reading somethin very nice on JL....

thank u so much for starting this thread :)....

well i wish to change my habit of hanging onto things for too long......in the end it only disturbs my peace of mind n affects me adversely......

[jyotikohar]

thnku bebe .............jo tanne yo nek kam karya kimme apne bhetar jhakan tayi jhakjhora................manne tae apne me sab tae baddi kamjori apna temper lagya kare............bina soche vichare mere choh uth ja arr 5 minute baad jib utre jib nu lagge ya kimme baat thi?

so just want to control my anger..................

[bhavnasingh20]

Bhavna thanks for your kind words.
Now in context to your wish of bringing change in yourself. I also used to suffer from this:)But gradually i started giving a consideration and asking myself IS IT really worth the aggravation i'm taking? and it would ease out my heart when i get an answer from "WITHIN" saying NO it isn't.

Decision is ours so we should hang on to things that make us happy and try to let go that makes us unhappy:) But mustn't waste too much of positive energy on things that are not even WORTH GIVING A GLANCE

well u r ofcourse completely right when u say this.....

but then u know its most difficult to actually b able to realize negative things abt urself n then work to get rid of them.....

but yes i hav been trying this approach n m proud to say tht hav been successful to some extent too...:)....

but really...thank u for ur advice....really appreciate it :)

[anilsinghd]

Want to change myself to become more blunt , more st raight forward.
Dont know it that would do more good than bad ! :)

But it ain't easy to keep everyone happy!

[navingulia]

In the right quantity it is needed, to be able to focus yourself and channelise your energy, you need to make it clear at the earliest what you would prefer to work on/talk about
its like the pinch of iodene our body needs,,,,, in the right amount? very necessary


Want to change myself to become more blunt , more st raight forward.
Dont know it that would do more good than bad ! :)

But it ain't easy to keep everyone happy!

[vijay]

You are requested to "EXPRESS" atleast one thing " YOU WANT TO CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF" and similarly "SOMETHING" that you want to change in any of your friend/ colleague/ wife/ parents/ brother/ sister etc.

I wish to change my habit of "JUMPING onto conclusions" as many times i tend to do mistakes and judge wrongly:o


I want to change one thing in myself .... it's very hard for me to say "NO".

"No" seems quite a harsh word to me and it was my opinion that nice people should not say "no" to anyone. Some time or other i involved myself in the things i didn't wanted to. If i had said "NO" i would have saved myself from so many unnecessory troubles and their outcome.

After analyzing myself again and again i have realized that sometimes saying "no" is not that bad. Infact sometimes it helps a lot and can save you from so many unwanted circumstances.

I hope it would work for the good. :)

[sunitahooda]

Why do u want to be like what i'd been and regretting:Dif you are still persistent then leta agree to teach each other, please teach me how to be humble(bas thodi si hi) and i'll teach you how to be blunt:) But then as Navin said you should know how much blunt you ought to be ....na to paap se bojh tai ooney marr jaga:Dguilty feeling nahi aani chahiye fer;) Being too humble or too blunt wont be any good
Want to change myself to become more blunt , more st raight forward.
Dont know it that would do more good than bad ! :)

But it ain't easy to keep everyone happy!

[sunitahooda]

Sooner you come out of this habit...batter it'll be Vijay. I feel a "NO" said politely is as good as a "YES" said rudely.

Happened with me many times that i would not JUST SAY NO to my friends and would make me to waste long hours in doing something(shopping) a actually didn't want to e involved in.

Especially, a friend of mine damn good in using other's time and resources and she used to catch me many times:D:D Once I wanted her to come to a temple where i went for a pooja and she wanted me to come to a parlour.It actually surprised her when i told her>>>>Why should i come and watch you getting your cracked heels and dirty nails pedicured? BUT i said it with a SMILE in my voice and she didn't feel bad.:)

So CHOOSE something that pleases you as well as others you want to please, if you don't enjoy doing what you said a "YES" for then a "NO" would have been a better option.
I want to change one thing in myself .... it's very hard for me to say "NO".

"No" seems quite a harsh word to me and it was my opinion that nice people should not say "no" to anyone. Some time or other i involved myself in the things i didn't wanted to. If i had said "NO" i would have saved myself from so many unnecessory troubles and their outcome.

After analyzing myself again and again i have realized that sometimes saying "no" is not that bad. Infact sometimes it helps a lot and can save you from so many unwanted circumstances.

I hope it would work for the good. :)

[anilsinghd]

Why do u want to be like what i'd been and regretting:Dif you are still persistent then leta agree to teach each other, please teach me how to be humble(bas thodi si hi) and i'll teach you how to be blunt:) But then as Navin said you should know how much blunt you ought to be ....na to paap se bojh tai ooney marr jaga:Dguilty feeling nahi aani chahiye fer;) Being too humble or too blunt wont be any good

I dont know but i fear for people's emotions. Its hard for me to see pain and miseries for people. I believe I can do better and more and comfort/help them rather than telling them straight on what ought to be.
Falls in my theory of expecting more from myself , so i keep doing. Though I am not sure for how long will i be able to continue ? :)

[poonamchaudhary]

If i have to change something about myself... well there can be many things perhaps that need to be changed but i think it will be my restlessness and inconsistency that tops the list. My desire to get more than what i have sometimes makes me unhappy and so should be moderated. And i would rather moderate these things than change them entirely because they are not bad in themselves its their excess which is bad.

[spdeshwal]

Why do u want to be like what i'd been and regretting:Dif you are still persistent then leta agree to teach each other, please teach me how to be humble(bas thodi si hi) and i'll teach you how to be blunt:) But then as Navin said you should know how much blunt you ought to be ....na to paap se bojh tai ooney marr jaga:Dguilty feeling nahi aani chahiye fer;) Being too humble or too blunt wont be any good


I want to change one thing in myself .... it's very hard for me to say "NO".

"No" seems quite a harsh word to me and it was my opinion that nice people should not say "no" to anyone. Some time or other i involved myself in the things i didn't wanted to. If i had said "NO" i would have saved myself from so many unnecessory troubles and their outcome.

After analyzing myself again and again i have realized that sometimes saying "no" is not that bad. Infact sometimes it helps a lot and can save you from so many unwanted circumstances.

I hope it would work for the good. :)


Vijay, it is very very common problem, with people as Anil said the emotional type who don't want to hurt or offend friends and relatives by saying "No'
I have read a very nice book on the subject, titled " Don't say Yes When You Want to say No" It is wonderful book with real life examples.

In fact, it is not only you, Anil or a few of us but many of us have this weakness of too much of meekness to get carried away easily. Most of the times, the pushy type friends do this unknowingly and wouldn't mind or feel bad if told "no' for an unreasonable favour or demand! Sunita ji has rightly said that they should be told politely but firmly.

I have this problem of 'delaying and postponing' things. It is very usual with me that i fall prey to this habit of procrastination and that affects not only me but people related to me as well, specially the kids. This type of behavior influences the young ones very easily! They also start making excuses for postponing things, actions! It is also true that,whenever I have made some efforts to overcome this my general efficiency has improved.


Cheers!

[sunitahooda]

Deshwal Ji i cant explain how much i hate this red word in your quote....i was about to accept my worst negative point ....par fer sharam si aagi akk kade ghani kami na batayi jaa:DPlease batai kuch points to overcome this problem;)manne to saari haan oye mogrra thaye paachey chahiye kimme kaam karwan tayi:o

P.S. Also the author of the book you mentioned above

I have this problem of 'delaying and postponing' things. It is very usual with me that i fall prey to this habit of procrastination and that affects not only me but people related to me as well, specially the kids..


Cheers!

[sunitahooda]

"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others"I'm sure that this kind of quote gives a feeling of happiness to some, while it leaves with BIG ?mark the others, some rather jump on with sudden rush of the blood that has got an unusual palpation in veins of positive excitement. This might give momentary motivation to few, good start to few to do help the needy/poor and some might just shrug their shoulders and whine asking their selves or even other "WHY DO WE NEED TO HELP OTHERS":) and another quote comes in mind" GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES":Dbut i know there are many people around us who want to help, do good for others, who feel other's pain but what they lack is THAT FIRST STEP to put forward or a help in pulling them towards their GOAL or someone who can help them to realize their wishes/dreams and to give them a good direction:):)Help doesn't have to be "MONETARY" it can be in so many ways and "HELP" is not a simple 4 letter word, believe me it can make someone's life or ruin it IF not helped in time. So even if you can give a counsel and extend some relief to a grieved soul, it would be biggest help:)

[anilsinghd]

"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others"I'm sure that this kind of quote gives a feeling of happiness to some, while it leaves with BIG ?mark the others, some rather jump on with sudden rush of the blood that has got an unusual palpation in veins of positive excitement. This might give momentary motivation to few, good start to few to do help the needy/poor and some might just shrug their shoulders and whine asking their selves or even other "WHY DO WE NEED TO HELP OTHERS":) and another quote comes in mind" GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES":Dbut i know there are many people around us who want to help, do good for others, who feel other's pain but what they lack is THAT FIRST STEP to put forward or a help in pulling them towards their GOAL or someone who can help them to realize their wishes/dreams and to give them a good direction:):)Help doesn't have to be "MONETARY" it can be in so many ways and "HELP" is not a simple 4 letter word, believe me it can make someone's life or ruin it IF not helped in time. So even if you can give a counsel and extend some relief to a grieved soul, it would be biggest help:)

Is that something you want to add in your self ? :)

I am sure this can be a good topic for discussion on why and then how of things talked in the paragraph!

[spdeshwal]

Deshwal Ji i cant explain how much i hate this red word in your quote....i was about to accept my worst negative point ....par fer sharam si aagi akk kade ghani kami na batayi jaa:DPlease batai kuch points to overcome this problem;)manne to saari haan oye mogrra thaye paachey chahiye kimme kaam karwan tayi:o

P.S. Also the author of the book you mentioned above


Sunita ji , am sorry for the belated reply!

The authors of the book are Herbert Phd Fensterheim and Jean Bear

You may waite for a week and I might find and present it to you!

आपने, खुले तौर से सवीकार कर, आधी लडाई जीत ली है ! इसका मतलब है आप इमानदारी से अपनी इस कमजोरी से उभरना चाहती हैं !

मै स्वयं इस बुरी आदत से झुन्झता रहा हूँ , और सम्बंधित साहित्य खरीद पड़ता रहा हूँ !
शिव खेडा की लिखी पुस्तक 'जीत आपकी' से प्रेरित हो अपनी कमजोरी को स्वीकार करने और इस दूर करने की दिसा में प्रयास सवरूप , पुस्तक एक कोरे पृष्ठ पर , ८ साल पहले मैंने अपने बारे में ये लिखा था :
१) में काम करने में , खास कर नया काम शुरू करने में ताल मटोल करता रहता हूँ
२) में फटाफट नतीजे की आशा रख कर कोई काम शुरू करता हूँ
३) कई बार विचारों में घंटों में खोया रहता हूँ और समय बरबाद करता हूँ १
4) किसी काम या विषय का अभ्यास कम करता हूँ और वांछित नतीजा न दिखने पर अधुरा छोड़ देता हूँ !
असफल होने पर गुस्सा करता हूँ , खीज दूसरो पर निकलता हूँ
५) कोई भी काम पूरी प्लानिंग से नही करता !
६) किसी भी रिश्तेदार , दोस्त से मन मुताबिक सहायता न मिलने पर नाता तोड़ लेता हूँ !
७) अपनी नाकामी को बहुत समय तक अपने लोगो से छिपाए रहता हूँ !
८) ईशवर में विश्वास जरुर है , पर नियम से कभी याद नही किया १
९) कभी परोपकार नही कर सका, किया या कह सकते हैं आदत नही डाली !


और फ़िर इस लिस्ट को मैंने अपनी पत्नी को दिखाया , ताकि वो समय २ पर मुझे चेतावनी दे सके !
में गर्व से कह सकता हूँ की उसके कुछ अच्छे परिणाम भी निकले थे !
इसका एक नकारात्मक पहलु भी था , मेरी पत्नी को एक स्थाई हथियार ( कि में काम चोर हूँ ..हा हा हा ) मिल गया था , जिसे वो जब कभी मौका मिले इस्तेमाल करने से नही चूकती!


खुश रहो !

[dreamer]

Ghani ai kami hain ji ... na likhin jaan urai ... lets try

1. I am really vulnerable at times. Koe chahe bhula puchkaar kai johad mai kuda de, I am really desperate to get rid of this thing.

2. Dangerously short tempered. (bera na kis tra control rah hai office mai shayad piese millain hain isliye na toh roj shir fodu aar fuwaun)

3. Emotionaly Hungry -- Yeah I can cry easily at any given time. At times sharam aati hai, per kya karein, thats what it is..

4. Bohat aachya dil sai kasam tai (per u know gussa saara aisi taisi kar de hai ghani baar .. want my country yeah My Country free from poor and dirty people .. per u know tame hote hue bhi tame nahin sai na .. I mean I dont know wat to do ??? )

Well bhateri hogi hongi ...

[sunitahooda]

Deshwal Ji thanks for replying. I'll prefer to wait for a week:) Though i feel i've overcome from this problem by promising myself to finish the long pending jobs and i've accomplished few V.V.V. Imp jobs.

Also if you could tell how to control over unnecessary emotions. I tend to take decisions by heart not mind:o And you're right, i ALWAYS accept my mistakes.
Sunita ji , am sorry for the belated reply!

The authors of the book are Herbert Phd Fensterheim and Jean Bear

You may waite for a week and I might find and present it to you!

आपने, खुले तौर से सवीकार कर, आधी लडाई जीत ली है ! इसका मतलब है आप इमानदारी से अपनी इस कमजोरी से उभरना चाहती हैं !

ल गया था , जिसे वो जब कभी मौका मिले इस्तेमाल करने से नही चूकती!


खुश रहो !

[sunitahooda]

Sure Anil....why not if we get positive response any amount of positive outcome will be a BIG help to us:)
Is that something you want to add in your self ? :)

I am sure this can be a good topic for discussion on why and then how of things talked in the paragraph!

[sunitahooda]

Ibbi keh dey akk ye saari jhooth sain....kimme na bigddya ibbe:D

Ravi i really appreciate guys who accept their shortcomings honestly:) I feel that you don't look like one being short-tempered AT ALL. And if you can control at office then you can control it everywhere:) Try it and justify that HOME IS A FAR BETTER PLACE THAN OFFICE:Dkitte parak-purk mai jhaddiyan ke paachey jaa kai ekla chillam-chilla ho kai aa jaya kar jab koye shyammi na ho:p
Ghani ai kami hain ji ... na likhin jaan urai ... lets try

1. I am really vulnerable at times. Koe chahe bhula puchkaar kai johad mai kuda de, I am really desperate to get rid of this thing.

2. Dangerously short tempered. (bera na kis tra control rah hai office mai shayad piese millain hain isliye na toh roj shir fodu aar fuwaun)

3. Emotionaly Hungry -- Yeah I can cry easily at any given time. At times sharam aati hai, per kya karein, thats what it is..

4. Bohat aachya dil sai kasam tai (per u know gussa saara aisi taisi kar de hai ghani baar .. want my country yeah My Country free from poor and dirty people .. per u know tame hote hue bhi tame nahin sai na .. I mean I dont know wat to do ??? )

Well bhateri hogi hongi ...

[sunillathwal]

By having a "RIGHT" attitude we can not only change our lives but many lives of those around us. You are requested to "EXPRESS" atleast one thing " YOU WANT TO CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF" and similarly "SOMETHING" that you want to change in any of your friend/ colleague/ wife/ parents/ brother/ sister etc.


Well, I’ll narrate one small incident:
-----------
Person X wanted to do some experiments in my lab and prof asked me to help in carrying out which I DID with uttermost sincerity. Not a big deal.
Now person X said.. ‘hi’.. Next day.. “Dinner ho gaya?? ”. blah blah...
Enough of nice(ism). :(
Me: Look, u never said even a simple ‘hi’ even though we are in same mess. Now for god sake… be normal. I helped u that doesn’t mean u owe me something. So kindly excuse me. :)

Perosn X: :confused: sunil, u r a horrible person!!!

Me: Okkkeyyyyy :rolleyes: (with a bit of sarcasm.. which made this ‘ok’ something like ‘as if I care.. :cool:’)
----------------

So I want ‘others’ to be straighter (forward)…
:)
Being ‘nothing’ to someone is far better than being ‘nice’ just because u needed his/her help!!!

And on my part: ideally, I want to be a bit less cynical which I know is quite difficult.. as it took a long time and hundreds of incidents (significant or insignificant) for me to finally dwell on this cynical approach.
Hence I would like to be pretentious…. Would love to say things which all sweet (seemingly) ppl say rather than what I actually feel !! :)

[brahmtewatia]

There's a story about a woman who did not keep a tidy house. One day someone gave her a beautiful rose which she brought home and put in a vase in her lobby.

got access to this real life beautiful story... couldn't resist myself in sharing this with you nd fellow JATlanders... hope u'll like it. :)

Jerry is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, “If I were any better, I would be twins!”

He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, I don’t get it! You can’t be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?” Jerry replied, “Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.

“Yeah, right, it’s not that easy,” I protested.

“Yes it is,” Jerry said. “Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It’s your choice how you live life.”

I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it. Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in the restaurant business…he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gun point by three armed robbers. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him.

Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.

I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, “If I were any better, I’d be twins. Wanna see my scars?” I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. “The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door,” Jerry replied. “Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or I could choose to die. I chose to live.”

“Weren’t you scared? Did you lose consciousness?” I asked. Jerry continued, “…the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read ‘he’s a dead man.’ I knew I needed to take action.” “What did you do?” I asked. “Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me,” said Jerry. “She asked if I was allergic to anything. ‘Yes’ I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, ‘BULLETS!’

Over their laughter, I told them, ‘I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead’.” Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that…..

Moral: Every day we have the choice to live fully. :)

[sunitahooda]

Brahm...another long post....but worth a read:)
got access to this real life beautiful story... couldn't resist myself in sharing this with you nd fellow JATlanders... hope u'll like it. :)



Over their laughter, I told them, ‘I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead’.” Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that…..

Moral: Every day we have the choice to live fully. :)

[rajmalik]

i dont think you sound like a JAT....
it is very easy to say YES if you can do it and far easier to say NO if you cant do something.

[vikrantsiwag]

Thanks Sunita ji for a nice post and many nice inputs by others.


There are many things that I'd like to change in myself but the top priority ones are following..

1. I am not able to concentrate on anything for long enough and when i start some work my mind start wandering somewhere else.
2. Not being able to say 'NO' to anyone. People ask me something and i do that even if it hurts me.

Hoping to change this year.

[AmitGahlawat]

Vikrant don't you think YEAR is the biggest time frame....make it month, then weeks and then days and finally moments. The more you feel comfortable with procrastination more it gets in ur habit. If u know that saying NO will put you at ease then let it be. Set time frames for whatever you do. Please pardon if i said anything wrong:)


1. I am not able to concentrate on anything for long enough and when i start some work my mind start wandering somewhere else.
2. Not being able to say 'NO' to anyone. People ask me something and i do that even if it hurts me.

Hoping to change this year.

[vikrantsiwag]

Vikrant don't you think YEAR is the biggest time frame....make it month, then weeks and then days and finally moments. The more you feel comfortable with procrastination more it gets in ur habit. If u know that saying NO will put you at ease then let it be. Set time frames for whatever you do. Please pardon if i said anything wrong:)

I think u r right....an year is a long time frame. One may forget things if provided long time frame and next year again will vow to start only to have a sense of dejavu. Thanx for the input...

[mittu]

Nice thread.....
i also want to change few things about myself.
1) I need to be less blunt, shed off sarcasm.
2) More determined, like i'll make sure that whatever i'll pick, i'll complete it....
There are few more things.....will write later.....

[caravi2910]

Things i want to change in myself:

1.At times i wanted to be little bit introvert becoz in most of the occassion, i share each and every thing with my friends and colleagues.

2. I do look out for some advice or suggestion from friends or family members even on small issues, and just becoz of this it takes me a lot of time to take decisions.

[anilsinghd]

Also if you could tell how to control over unnecessary emotions. I tend to take decisions by heart not mind And

sunita ji , you must have read this in some of my post , but i feel good about myself when i am repeating things becuase that means that i have formed a few ethics in life.

Equanimity is an quality to posess though very hard to practise , the greatest mistake so to say lies in flowing with the emotions , its only human to do so , but to be better we must practise equanimity!
It does not come overnight , we must try and do it slowly.

It is not that i do not do things under the effect of emotions but i always give time to think of my actions , many a times realising what mistakes i did or what better could i have done. It is about knowing anf realising those minute details. It is about striving for that bit of perfection in your behaviour! :)
Having a relaxed approach helps , what i do for myself is to try and form a pattern of behaviour i am going to follow in a particular situation coming in front of me in some time... indeed helps.
Just to make it more concrete , lets say you are going to meet up someone and are in a car or bus travelling , if you get time , just spend a few minutes thinking on what could happen and how would you react to things. That would prevent you from surprises and will give you edge on how to react to things! :) Also your problem of unnecessary emotions would be eradicated as some of the emotions you have already exercised when you were thinking of the situation in your free time with your own and you dont get embarassed in front of yourself :)
Let me know if that makes any sense! :)

[vikda]

Thinking from heart
Not able to say NO (which might make you feel bad later if that costs you too much say emotionally or somebody does not reciprocate a fraction of that even at your hardest time)
Being a bit lazy (not when it is about helping others but procrastinating your own stuff)
A bit rude at times (atleast others might think so)
These are some of the common characteristics/traits of JATS. I guess it would not be possible to get rid of these completely. The best approach would be to try to avoid few of them at times which are conducive to spiral up a SITUATION.

[sunitahooda]

Raj it might be easy for you, me and some to say NO but not for all, please give some input if possible as how to decide WHEN TO SAY NO and that too without sounding Blunt and Shrewd. People term us as rude when they have already made up their minds to have a "YES" from us.
i dont think you sound like a JAT....
it is very easy to say YES if you can do it and far easier to say NO if you cant do something.

[sunitahooda]

Amit....its not necessarily your fault of being blunt, it happens when there is a communication gap or miscommunication(most of d times) and so far sarcasm is concern, it has two types, positive sarcasm and negative sarcasm. People who know us well easily understand even id we are sarcasrtic in a neagative way BUT positive sarcasm is grasped as negative sarcasm if others dont know us or our style of expressing, its just a carelessness or we can say an extended comfort level that we don't keep the audience in mind and hence creates misconception about a wonderful word like Sarcasm .

I'm sure many of US and even almost everyone must have faced positive sarcasm from our parents as Jats have a different way to motivate....Parents wont tell us directly to word hard, study n be sucessful, except they would say.... Yo na kar sakta jindagi mai kuch, iss nai to nuay dhakkey khaney hain. Corect me if i'm wrong:D And we always take their positive sarcasm as negative:)
Nice thread.....
i also want to change few things about myself.
1) I need to be less blunt, shed off sarcasm.
2) More determined, like i'll make sure that whatever i'll pick, i'll complete it....
There are few more things.....will write later.....

[rakeshsehrawat]

Jat and Change...................:rock.................Two banks of a river



Koshis aachi hai lage raho

Wish you all the best to all

[sunitahooda]

Well.....we were trying and would have kept ding eve if u hadn't posted your useless comment in here;):rolleyes:
Jat and Change...................:rock.................Two banks of a river



Koshis aachi hai lage raho

Wish you all the best to all

[rakeshsehrawat]

Well.....we were trying and would have kept ding eve if u hadn't posted your useless comment in here;):rolleyes:
99% of people WALK in sleep and dream when they are AWAKE...and irnocally quite happy with
this....

I just told you what my problem is

it was sample of my problem


Any Solution??????????


One Question "Have you Started Giving classes for psychology problems?????"

last one"What your reply shows here??? how much you have changed yourself??? how can you even expect that they will change????

[sunitahooda]

Shayad aap ki shadi ho chuki hain na aisi hi ek Shri Shri 2008 Mata Ji aap ke jeevan mein pravesh kar chuki hain....atah aap unse anurodh kaein....mera ansh unme bhi vidhyaman hai....waise mujhe lagta hai pehle aapko Deeksha ki jagah Shiksha ki jarurat hai
Shri Shri 1008
Addi tude Datri Ma Sunita Hooda mughe
Diksha De Do..Kab classes mein aana shuru karu.....
Sastang Dandvat...

[rakeshsehrawat]

Shayad aap ki shadi ho chuki hain na aisi hi ek Shri Shri 2008 Mata Ji aap ke jeevan mein pravesh kar chuki hain....atah aap unse anurodh kaein....mera ansh unme bhi vidhyaman hai....waise mujhe lagta hai pehle aapko Deeksha ki jagah Shiksha ki jarurat hai
Use mata nahi kaha jata mata to wo mere bete ki hai
Humare yahan use ardhangini bolte hain.
Aur agar wo hi humein sikhayengi to aap kis baat ke jhande uthaye khadi hain??
Deeksha aur siksha kya hoti hain mujhe ye bhi nahi pata???is par thoda sa parkash jaroor dalna

[sunitahooda]

To tum MERE BETTEY kab se ho gaye?mere khyal tai tu mera bhai banne tha kyunki teri Maa Hooda sai....arr tera to bera na manne bera sai k teri maa HOODA sai to mai to apne sage bhai ar tere mai kye farakk samjhu na.... Arr ye aur kisse nai to JHANDDEY na laage tere 4 aankh laagri sain? ARDHANGINI KA TO BERA PATT GYA ARR BEBBEY KIS NAI KAHYA KAREIN???? IBB YO GYAN TU BAANT DEY....Looking forward to know If your mother is Hooda then, What AM I TO YOU?
Use mata nahi kaha jata mata to wo mere bete ki hai
Humare yahan use ardhangini bolte hain.
Aur agar wo hi humein sikhayengi to aap kis baat ke jhande uthaye khadi hain??
Deeksha aur siksha kya hoti hain mujhe ye bhi nahi pata???is par thoda sa parkash jaroor dalna

[rakeshsehrawat]

To tum MERE BETTEY kab se ho gaye?mere khyal tai tu mera bhai banne tha kyunki teri Maa Hooda sai? Arr ye aur kisse nai to JHANDDEY na laage tere 4 aankh laagri sain?
Mausi ar Maa mein kitna antar ho hai

poore thread mein psychology ki isi tisi kar di


Amit....its not necessarily your fault of being blunt, it happens when there is a communication gap or miscommunication(most of d times) and so far sarcasm is concern, it has two types, positive sarcasm and negative sarcasm. People who know us well easily understand even id we are sarcasrtic in a neagative way BUT positive sarcasm is grasped as negative sarcasm if others dont know us or our style of expressing, its just a carelessness or we can say an extended comfort level that we don't keep the audience in mind and hence creates misconception about a wonderful word like Sarcasm .

I'm sure many of US and even almost everyone must have faced positive sarcasm from our parents as Jats have a different way to motivate....Parents wont tell us directly to word hard, study n be sucessful, except they would say.... Yo na kar sakta jindagi mai kuch, iss nai to nuay dhakkey khaney hain. Corect me if i'm wrong:D And we always take their positive sarcasm as negative




DID YOU REALLY MEAN THAT?????????

[sachinb]

vakai mein badi gyaan ke baat kahi se mhaare apne Rakesh Bhai ne,,,,Negative aur Positive Sarcasm,,,,,,,,,,excellent,,,,,,,,,So whenever we become sarcastic then positivism also should be added,,,,,phir to sone pe suhaga ho jaayega,,,,

[sunitahooda]

Please aap batao na ke iss Psychology ki issi-tissi ko kaise theek karein....aap hi ubhaar sakte ho iss thread ko....i guess you have landed with the very purpose of giving it a good direction....please go ahead....i'm more then curious to read your valuable views
Mausi ar Maa mein kitna antar ho hai

poore thread mein psychology ki isi tisi kar di


Amit....its not necessarily your fault of being blunt, it happens when there is a communication gap or miscommunication(most of d times) and so far sarcasm is concern, it has two types, positive sarcasm and negative sarcasm. People who know us well easily understand even id we are sarcasrtic in a neagative way BUT positive sarcasm is grasped as negative sarcasm if others dont know us or our style of expressing, its just a carelessness or we can say an extended comfort level that we don't keep the audience in mind and hence creates misconception about a wonderful word like Sarcasm .

I'm sure many of US and even almost everyone must have faced positive sarcasm from our parents as Jats have a different way to motivate....Parents wont tell us directly to word hard, study n be sucessful, except they would say.... Yo na kar sakta jindagi mai kuch, iss nai to nuay dhakkey khaney hain. Corect me if i'm wrong:D And we always take their positive sarcasm as negative




DID YOU REALLY MEAN THAT?????????

[rakeshsehrawat]

Please aap batao na ke iss Psychology ki issi-tissi ko kaise theek karein....aap hi ubhaar sakte ho iss thread ko....i guess you have landed with the very purpose of giving it a good direction....please go ahead....i'm more then curious to read your valuable views
Mein to aapke dware kuch seekhne aaya tha par aap mujhse hi seekhne ke chakkar mein hain.

Chaliye Sikha deta hoon kya yaad karengi

Decision is ours so we should hang on to things that make us happy and try to let go that makes us unhappy:) But mustn't waste too much of positive energy on things that are not even WORTH GIVING A GLANCE



Bolo shri ------- Jai ho

[prashantacmet]

Thread as well as the contents are nice. But rakesh rightly said " Ppl write here but don't actually mean that ". We don't need such over-hyped ATTI-TUDE that is darn trash even for the thread starter.

P.S. : Rakesh, u bang on the target

[sunitahooda]

I have learnt how to ignore not anywhere but here on JL only and still improving. So far learning is concerned, who knows what we can learn from others and what we can teach? But IGNORANCE is a wonderful tool, why not use it sometimes as i do:) Issi se tumhara kaafi bhala ho jayega ab dekho na subah se tum issi thead se itna moh kar ke baith gaye ho....I wonder what are you AIMING AT?
Mein to aapke dware kuch seekhne aaya tha par aap mujhse hi seekhne ke chakkar mein hain.

Chaliye Sikha deta hoon kya yaad karengi

Decision is ours so we should hang on to things that make us happy and try to let go that makes us unhappy:) But mustn't waste too much of positive energy on things that are not even WORTH GIVING A GLANCE



Bolo shri ------- Jai ho

[rakeshsehrawat]

I have learnt how to ignore not anywhere but here on JL only and still improving. So far learning is concerned, who knows what we can learn from others and what we can teach? But IGNORANCE is a wonderful tool, why not use it sometimes as i do:) Issi se tumhara kaafi bhala ho jayega ab dekho na subah se tum issi thead se itna moh kar ke baith gaye ho....I wonder what are you AIMING AT?
Moh nahi aapka jawab pasand nahi aaya tha
what i felt i told so what's the point saying
Well.....we were trying and would have kept ding eve if u hadn't posted your useless comment in here;):rolleyes:

Tera khoon khoon mera khoon pani??? Jo ab tak apne kiya wo sab useless tha

CHANGE AND JAT i had shown you how much you had changed and what direction you can provide to the people

ek baar ek aadmi ek mahatma ke pass gaya ki mera beta gud khata hai mahatma bole agle mahine le aana
wo bache ko le ke gaya baba ne kaan pakda aur kaha gud mat khana daant mein kide hote hain

bache ne gud chod diya aadmi fir mahatma ke pass gaya aur poocha maharaz aapne pehle din hi bula ke kyon nahi samjhaya to mahatma ne kaha tab mein bhi gud khata tha

Very old story

[sunitahooda]

Jawab pasand nahi aaya tha to ignore karna chahiye tha na "BHAI". Aur jo jawab maine diya woh jawab sabhi dete hain jab bina baat ke koye bhi aakar post karta hai jiska thread se koyi lena-dena na ho. Aur mai yahan kisi ko DIRECT ya MISDIRECT karney ke liye nahi hoon....i posted something that i liked and i am happy that OTHERS liked it too. If you didn't like my THREAD/VIEWS and ATTITUDE then would say its impossible to keep ALL HAPPY....you dont like someone stay away....simple:) aur ye kahani bohot achi lagi....kaash sahi jagah use hoti....Swami Viveknand Ji ke vishay mein ek thrad chalaya gayatha.....this story could be a SAVIOR to that and if you had read that thread then you wouldn't mind my Additude/ Attitude at all:) aur aap mere mein aaye CHANGE ko le kar itne uttsukk kyun hain? Yahan JL pe ek baat aur seekhi hai par aaj ke liye itna hi kaafi hai
Moh nahi aapka jawab pasand nahi aaya tha
what i felt i told so what's the point saying
Well.....we were trying and would have kept ding eve if u hadn't posted your useless comment in here;):rolleyes:

Tera khoon khoon mera khoon pani??? Jo ab tak apne kiya wo sab useless tha

CHANGE AND JAT i had shown you how much you had changed and what direction you can provide to the people

ek baar ek aadmi ek mahatma ke pass gaya ki mera beta gud khata hai mahatma bole agle mahine le aana
wo bache ko le ke gaya baba ne kaan pakda aur kaha gud mat khana daant mein kide hote hain

bache ne gud chod diya aadmi fir mahatma ke pass gaya aur poocha maharaz aapne pehle din hi bula ke kyon nahi samjhaya to mahatma ne kaha tab mein bhi gud khata tha

Very old story

[rakeshsehrawat]

Jawab pasand nahi aaya tha to ignore karna chahiye tha na "BHAI". Aur jo jawab maine diya woh jawab sabhi dete hain jab bina baat ke koye bhi aakar post karta hai jiska thread se koyi lena-dena na ho. Aur mai yahan kisi ko DIRECT ya MISDIRECT karney ke liye nahi hoon....i posted something that i liked and i am happy that OTHERS liked it too. If you didn't like my THREAD/VIEWS and ATTITUDE then would say its impossible to keep ALL HAPPY....you dont like someone stay away....simple:) aur ye kahani bohot achi lagi....kaash sahi jagah use hoti....Swami Viveknand Ji ke vishay mein ek thrad chalaya gayatha.....this story could be a SAVIOR to that and if you had read that thread then you wouldn't mind my Additude/ Attitude at all:)


Mein kyon karu??
sikhani wali aap bahut aacha sikha rahi hain aapne ignore nahi kiya






Hey guys Listen Sunita ji had changed and can help ou all to change your attitude

Keep it up Sunita ji

Nice Thread My Rating 5/5

[sachinb]

Hey dude,,,,sun liyaa,,,,thanks bhai:rock

Kiiip it up Rakesh bhai !!!!!


Hey guys Listen Sunita ji had changed and can help ou all to change your attitude

Keep it up Sunita ji

Nice Thread My Rating 5/5

[sunitahooda]

A story posted by Shweta at other thread....liked it very much

Originally Posted by shweta123
One day, I hopped into a taxi and took off for the airport . We were driving in the right lane when suddenly, a black car, jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed the brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. I mean, was really friendly. So I asked, "Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!" This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck'

He explained, "Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they'll dump it on you. NEVER take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on with the routine life." Don't take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life's too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so...... 'Love the people who treat you right.. Pray for the ones who don't.'

[rakeshsehrawat]

Hey dude,,,,sun liyaa,,,,thanks bhai:rock

Kiiip it up Rakesh bhai !!!!!


Oho Shri Shri 1 hazar char so bees Sachin ji maharaz ki jai ho aapke darshn hue hum dhanya ho gaye
Ooooh maharaz galti ho gayee
Bhai Deependra hooda zindabad
Mama hooda Zindabad

Maharaj aap mujh nacheez par meharban hue aapka bahut bahut dhanywad

Maharaj hum nadan balko ko aapke pravachan ki sakht jaroorat hai aap bhi hume apni vichardhara privartan par kuch gyan dein.

Meine aapke avtarit hone ke liye bahut tapasya ki thee aur akhirkar aapko ana hi pada

Maharaj is baat ke liye humein konsi party ka gathan karna hai???

kaun kaun se road nadi nale flyover banane ki ghosna karwayein ye nacheez itnee development dekh ke bhi nahi sudhar rahe

kahaniya suna rahe hain parivartan kahaniyo se kaise hota hai ye to aapka formula tha in logo ne chori kar liya. In sabko kabootar bana dijiye aur ek ashram kholiye taki logo ka vichar parivartan ho sake.

[sachinb]

itni tolli ummeed nahi the ke bhai itna taulla shilag jaa gaaa:D,,,,,,

party bana junsi tanne banani se,,,,ib saare kaam mere pe puchh ke karega,,,,,,,,,,,mere faarmulle ke bhed itnaa taula na paave Bansi Maharaaj:rock


kahaniya suna rahe hain parivartan kahaniyo se kaise hota hai ye to aapka formula tha in logo ne chori kar liya. In sabko kabootar bana dijiye aur ek ashram kholiye taki logo ka vichar parivartan ho sake.

[anilsinghd]

Mein to aapke dware kuch seekhne aaya tha par aap mujhse hi seekhne ke chakkar mein hain.

Chaliye Sikha deta hoon kya yaad karengi




Rakesh , please give your priceless comments and words of wisdom for the common good and benefit of all. It can really help everyone here. :) :)

It is so worth reading ur "great" comments.
:)


@ Sunita ji : A sarcastic person has a superiority complex that can be cured only by the honesty of humility. :) I hope you get the message intended. :)

[sunitahooda]

Anil...thanks for this message, i certainly grasped what you wanted to deliver but i really wonder at the complexity:)
Rakesh , please give your priceless comments and words of wisdom for the common good and benefit of all. It can really help everyone here. :) :)

It is so worth reading ur "great" comments.
:)


@ Sunita ji : A sarcastic person has a superiority complex that can be cured only by the honesty of humility. :) I hope you get the message intended. :)

[anilsinghd]

I want to write and say short , sweet and succint answera to issues , but cant do it :(

Always i am elaborate!! :(

[sunitahooda]

Thats fine Anil....when I start liking someone's posts then length of matter doesn't matter , infact i spare time and ead them properly not just for the sake of reading the post. This is what i do with DND Ji's posts, Yours and Brig. Laksman Singh's posts:)
I want to write and say short , sweet and succint answera to issues , but cant do it :(

Always i am elaborate!! :(

[dndeswal]

Thats fine Anil....when I start liking someone's posts then length of matter doesn't matter , infact i spare time and ead them properly not just for the sake of reading the post. This is what i do with DND Ji's posts, Yours and Brig. Laksman Singh's posts:)

आहा - कभी-कभी आपकी पोस्ट भी थोड़ी लम्बी होती हैं ।

वैसे अनिल की लाम्बी पोस्ट मैं भी पढ़ता हूं । वैसे उसकी पोस्ट छोटी भी हो तो भी लम्बी लगती है - उसके "signature" ने ही अच्छी खासी जगह घेर रखी होती है । München (Munich) का यह दाढ़ी वाला दार्शनिक मैक्समूलर पता नहीं कब अपना thesis पूरा करेगा ?
.

[sunitahooda]

Kya mai suggestion dey doon Improvements wale thread mein ki Long Singnature ke 200 points kaat lyo:D
आहा - कभी-कभी आपकी पोस्ट भी थोड़ी लम्बी होती हैं ।

वैसे अनिल की लाम्बी पोस्ट मैं भी पढ़ता हूं । वैसे उसकी पोस्ट छोटी भी हो तो भी लम्बी लगती है - उसके "signature" ने ही अच्छी खासी जगह घेर रखी होती है । München (Munich) का यह दाढ़ी वाला दार्शनिक मैक्समूलर पता नहीं कब अपना thesis पूरा करेगा ?
.

[dndeswal]

Kya mai suggestion dey doon Improvements wale thread mein ki Long Singnature ke 200 points kaat lyo:D

hehehe - Yeh suggestion pahle bhi diya tha kisi nei. Rahne do - kyun apne point katwana chahti ho?
.

[sachinb]

Deshwal ji ye point kaun kaat deta hain yahaa


hehehe - Yeh suggestion pahle bhi diya tha kisi nei. Rahne do - kyun apne point katwana chahti ho?
.

[sunitahooda]

Jab tak siraff point kaatney ki baat hai tab tak theek hai....Jab Pissey kaatann laag jaangey to taal maar dengey:D
hehehe - Yeh suggestion pahle bhi diya tha kisi nei. Rahne do - kyun apne point katwana chahti ho?
.

[anilsinghd]

Thank you Sunita and Dayanand ji!

Thesis jaroor poora hoga :)!


Ar haan kaho to signature ne kaat peet doon :D lekin point matna kaat liyo ....