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dahbal
October 7th, 2003, 01:53 PM
1. Newton's Method:
Let, the lion catch you. For every action there is equal and opposite reaction.Implies you caught lion

2. Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon. Now you can trap it easily.

3. Schrodinger Method:
At any given moment, there is a positive probability that lion to be in the cage. So set the trap, sit down and wait.

4. Inverse Transformation Method:
We place a spherical cage in the forest and enter it.Perform an inverse transformation with respect to lion. Lion is in and we are out.

5. Thermodynamic Procedure:
We const ruct a semi-permeable membrane which allows everything to pass it except lions. Then sweep the entire forest with it.

6. Integration Differential Method:
Integrate the forest over the entire area. The lion is some where in the result. So differentiate the result PARTIALLY w.r.t lion to trace out the lion

GOT FRUSTRATED

Now lets kill the lion...

Rajnikanth Method :
1. Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime. The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.
2. Remove the make-up and put it over lion. The lion will die notwithstanding that heavy weight.

Kamal Method:
Go near the lion and cry like anything.... Lion will die of sorrow !

Jayalalitha Method:
Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping !

Manirathnam Method (director):
Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark room with a single candle lighted.Keep murmuring something in its ears. The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.

Balachandar Method (director):
Send a lioness into the forest. our lion and lioness fall in love with each other. Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion. First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness. But 2nd lioness loves both lions. Now send another lioness(third) into the forest. You don't understand right...
ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont !

Shanker method (director):
Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic location.

Shah rukh khan method:
Release a film like 'ASHOKA".and make the lion to watch the movie.

Govinda method:
Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.

Rahul dravid method:Ask the lion to bowl at u.U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run.

Menaka Gandhi method:
save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.

George bush method:
Link the lion with osama bin laden and shoot him.


-Balraj Dahiya

VirenderNarwal
October 7th, 2003, 03:15 PM
nice method
kindly explain choutla,laloo mathod also

dahbal
October 7th, 2003, 03:55 PM
Virender Singhji,

Thanks for nice advice.Aage se jarur explain karenge.

-Balraj

Virender Singh Narwal (Oct 07, 2003 05:45 a.m.):
nice method
kindly explain choutla,laloo mathod also

anilsangwan
October 7th, 2003, 04:27 PM
Bahoot badhiya Bhai saab.......Aur haan Laloo aur chautala waali baat jaroor batana.....

uday
October 7th, 2003, 04:43 PM
:-) :-) good..

Virender Singh Narwal (Oct 07, 2003 05:45 a.m.):
nice method
kindly explain choutla,laloo mathod also

vilakshan_taank
October 14th, 2003, 12:31 AM
It was absolutely cracking...........keep it up

jitendersingh
October 15th, 2003, 12:05 AM
Some more methods (Sorry they may hurt the political ideologues):

CPI(Marxist) method: Put the posters of lion in the jungle stating the lion is communal asking the animals of jungle to vote him out of jungle and send Surjitji outside the jungle to catch him whenever he comes out.

VHP method: Give trishuls to everybody in jungle except the lion, train them with Mr. Togadia.

RJD (Laloo) method: Give lathis to everybody in jungle except the lion, tell them that lion is communal and anti-social.

Congress(I) Method: just watch the others methods, look out whichever in safest for you and apply it.

BJP Method: Ask VHP to start a drive against lion and then send Vajpayeeji when lion is almost dead.

dahbal
October 15th, 2003, 11:24 AM
Bhai Jitender,

Bahut aacha likha hai aapne.Very good.
Thank you for adding Laloo's lathi method and I also request you to add Chautala's method because our jat bhai have there demand also.

-Balraj


Jitender Singh (Oct 14, 2003 02:35 p.m.):
Some more methods (Sorry they may hurt the political ideologues):

CPI(Marxist) method: Put the posters of lion in the jungle stating the lion is communal asking the animals of jungle to vote him out of jungle and send Surjitji outside the jungle to catch him whenever he comes out.

VHP method: Give trishuls to everybody in jungle except the lion, train them with Mr. Togadia.

RJD (Laloo) method: Give lathis to everybody in jungle except the lion, tell them that lion is communal and anti-social.

Congress(I) Method: just watch the others methods, look out whichever in safest for you and apply it.

BJP Method: Ask VHP to start a drive against lion and then send Vajpayeeji when lion is almost dead.

jitendersingh
October 17th, 2003, 11:28 PM
Balraj Bhai,

Apne CM ka to ek hi style hai:

Ask the lion to meet Abhay in his office, next day lion will be caught in jungle easily.

dahbal
October 18th, 2003, 01:46 PM
Jitender Bhai,

Yeh baat to apne bilkul sahi kahi hai.

-Balraj

Jitender Singh (Oct 17, 2003 01:58 p.m.):
Balraj Bhai,

Apne CM ka to ek hi style hai:

Ask the lion to meet Abhay in his office, next day lion will be caught in jungle easily.

maheshahlawat
October 18th, 2003, 02:50 PM
Bahut badhiya dahiya, sahib aise mazedaar baatein roz 2 yaa 3 ho jaani chahiyen.

dahbal
October 20th, 2003, 08:45 AM
Mahesh Bhai,

Don't worry aise hi chalta rahega.

-Balraj

Mahesh Ahlawat (Oct 18, 2003 05:20 a.m.):
Bahut badhiya dahiya, sahib aise mazedaar baatein roz 2 yaa 3 ho jaani chahiyen.