PDA

View Full Version : Civilized discussion guidelines at JATland !!!



brahmtewatia
August 7th, 2009, 03:03 PM
civilized discussion guidelines at JATland.

in my opinion, it is very rare to find a public platform which is absolutely perfect per-se. everyone has a different set of knowledge, experience, a different mindset and different perceptions. and ones beliefs will be based on these underlying elements. people with different sets of knowledge and experience can logically come to different conclusions based on the same evidence cos their perceptions differ. recognize that it is impossible to change another person's belief… and/or that person may or may not choose to change his beliefs… that’s my personal experience on JATland.

what i am trying to elaborate further is something close to near perfection… something very righteous... i mean a perfect community forum. please do not conceive me to be such a person, cos i am not. just few thoughts, which i feel would make JATland a better place to visit.

when some member challenges a statement, use that as a chance to understand one's own beliefs. try to justify why one believes something to be true… not in order to prove the other person wrong, but to understand why one believes it to be true. having said that realize, also, there will come a point where one reaches his fundamental beliefs and one will not be able to justify a statement. have the courage to say "i cannot justify this statement, i merely believe it to be true." at this point, one should walk away from the discussion. finally, when one walks away, accept that one may not have the last word in the discussion. leave any further questions unanswered, one has no more to say on the subject at this time and assume others will follow this approach.

misread any accusations as merely questions and feel free to edit the accusations into answerable questions. more often than not, replying in a dispassionate manner will raise the level of discussion. also recognize that everyone has a bad day where he might state something in a poor taste (<<< important, please note). look for the underlying logic in the statement and ignore the emotional wording. feel free to edit emotional wording to raise the level of discussion… guess our mods can once again bring it to a 24 hour time-frame as existed earlier on JL.

this might be a boring discussion for many and the thread may not see the dawn of light next day… just thoughts inspired from a recent thread - "internet troll", as I go further in suggesting few civility guidelines…

1. remember, people take offense at different things.
2. try not to assume the worse when a post makes you hurt or annoyed.
3. keep a sense of humor.
4. consider others may hold opinions which are dramatically different from your own.
5. consider you might be wrong.
6. consider there might be some truth in what the other person is saying.
7. wait a few hours before responding to a post which has upset you.
8. you are as much responsible for your reaction as the supposed offender is responsible for the offense.
9. consider how your words might be received.
10. consider whether you'd say your message face-to-face.
11. the offended party decides what is offensive.
12. apologies are best. however, if you wish not to apologize, consider clarifying your statement to better explain the intent behind an offending post.
13. be as direct as possible when responding to someone who has been offended by your post.
14. when offended, write off-list to the person saying… “when you said xxx i understood yyy. is that what you meant” ?
15. write off-list to the moderator(s) explaining how you felt/perceived the message, and ask the moderator to deal with it off-list.
16. don’t get disheartened if mods don’t reply/take appropriate action.
17. if all else fails, attempt to ignore someone, who is especially irritating you.

+++ last, but not the least…

A. debate ideas, not persons.
B. make a clear distinction between objective information and subjective information.
C. avoid guessing a person's negative motive(s) for having a certain opinion(s)
D. agree to disagree when appropriate without hard feelings.
E. most difficult part, but very important - don’t keep an attitude… we all are JAT’s… fellow brothers, sisters and deviyan.

easy said then done… members (esp. seniors), please share your views... seriously or in good humour, but please make the discussion worth a READ.

rakeshsehrawat
August 7th, 2009, 04:00 PM
[QUOTE=brahmtewatia;219933]civilized discussion guidelines at JATland.


This is public forum and everyone have got right to show his/her opinion on topic. When one give his opinion others feel it offensive and they start pointing that person on other threads also. So a bond of hatred develops between the two. I Concur with Mr. Braham that it is never necessary that you are always right. And this is attitude of every jat that he is only one who's right and that too always.
Ise ne to jata ka naas kar rakhya hai na bhukhe nange rafuji aaj raja nahi ban sakte the.

aryasatyadev
August 7th, 2009, 08:11 PM
It is nice to see the post by Brahm, it is certainly true that members try to change the opinion of others but stood firm on their beliefs whether true or false...... However, in my opinion the responses to any posts are not offhand but well calculated and thought after, because unlike in a live discussion the person has all the time in world to frame an opinion.

The guidelines laid down by Brahm are an extension of the thread of same nature in which Shailendra is trying to convey the message as to how to deal with trolls.

Agreeing or disagreeing to any idea of any member is one thing but we should all have control over the language that we uses specially towards the person (or ideas of that person) which are not of one's age group or sex.

singhabhimanyu
August 10th, 2009, 03:13 PM
bhaii yeh rufuji bi apna bahut kho kay aaye the. "bhuka nanga" sahi words nai hai. apne aap ko upper batane kay lie doosron ko niicha dikhana bi jato ki khaamkha ki aadat hai.


civilized discussion guidelines at JATland.

Ise ne to jata ka naas kar rakhya hai na bhukhe nange rafuji aaj raja nahi ban sakte the.

annch
August 11th, 2009, 03:45 AM
Brahm,
:)
You still optimistic for a change??
Regards

civilized discussion guidelines at JATland.
recognize that it is impossible to change another person's belief… and/or that person may or may not choose to change his beliefs… that’s my personal experience on JATland.

vicky84
August 11th, 2009, 04:14 AM
Thanks Brahm ji for such a woderful guidelines.Everyone should take into account these suggestions and guidlines to make the discussions healthy.I hope this thread will improve the behaviour of users on Jatland.

kapdal
August 11th, 2009, 03:20 PM
Quite a comprehensive list. An adult forum is better served by nudging its members towards ideal behavior through guidelines rather than force them through rules. I request the admins to adopt these as "official guidelines" and make the thread sticky.

anilsinghd
August 11th, 2009, 03:49 PM
Vary valuable inputs from Brahm.


I would repeat my rhetoric that Senior members should assume more responsbilities. It is their responsibiltiy that when they are on line and if they see something going in a wrong direction , then rather than quietly paasing a indirect comment ( which is a rarity as well ) , they take active participation to defuse the matter and/or to calm down the discussion.


Responsibilities need to be divided a bit more and a specialist kind of team ( I have suggested quite a few number of times , a moderator for each kind of forum idea ) should be built.

That should help a lot i believe.


@ Anju : Life is all about hoping , is not it ?

annch
August 11th, 2009, 05:06 PM
Yeah! Hope is what prolongs the misery of men!!:D
I prefer this one-
"Be the change you want to see in the world"-Gandhi




@ Anju : Life is all about hoping , is not it ?

annch
August 11th, 2009, 05:27 PM
Brahm,
Just a small suggestion- can we have fewer guidelines than 16+5? It will be difficult to read through this list when I am in the middle of heated arguement...err...discussion?
Regards

kapdal
August 11th, 2009, 05:31 PM
Brahm,
Just a small suggestion- can we have fewer guidelines than 16+5? It will be difficult to read through this list when I am in the middle of heated arguement...err...discussion?
Regards

You are supposed to learn this by heart like one had to learn Jhansi ki Rani in school or even worse the Kalidasa essay in Sanskrit. Itna badhiya yaad hona chaahiye ki koi pooche point # 9 kya hai to tote ki tarah farrat se jawaab aaye.

anilsinghd
August 12th, 2009, 04:03 PM
Yeah! Hope is what prolongs the misery of men!!:D
I prefer this one-
"Be the change you want to see in the world"-Gandhi


Well I neva said that I will be idle with my eyes blinking and nice smile and just hope , But yeah without the hope , without the expectations , there is no life , misery or not ! :)

annch
August 12th, 2009, 04:58 PM
You are absolutely right...I would back hope with actions, as conveyed in Gandhi's quote.....the issue here is resting hope on others and their actions....


Well I neva said that I will be idle with my eyes blinking and nice smile and just hope , But yeah without the hope , without the expectations , there is no life , misery or not ! :)

anilsinghd
August 12th, 2009, 05:00 PM
You are absolutely right...I would back hope with actions, as conveyed in Gandhi's quote.....the issue here is resting hope on others and their actions....

Precisely the reason for not trying to fill in the details ;) Or should i use a much fancier term ? Extrapolation or Interpolation , you get to choose for yourself ! :)

annch
August 12th, 2009, 05:16 PM
Aur kitnii detail chahiye, 16+5 se bhi jyada...:).....
( P.S. Guruji, please, please...mathematics ka koi funda mat lagaa dena, manne be-kham padhna pad jyagaa arr pher bhi kimme palle nahi padega...)


Precisely the reason for not trying to fill in the details ;) Or should i use a much fancier term ? Extrapolation or Interpolation , you get to choose for yourself ! :)

anilsinghd
August 13th, 2009, 05:08 PM
I invite members to put in their views and wishes , we can ask JL Admins to have a look at the suggestions when we are done.

And going by their progressive nature , I am guessing that some of the plausible things can / would be done.

brahmtewatia
February 20th, 2010, 02:11 PM
thanks ravi ji for making this thread sticky and honoring my words... i realized this after posting my last post on "A Suggestion To Members" (http://www.jatland.com/forums/showthread.php?25539-A-Suggestion-to-Members)

new members can learn a lot from here and can have their suggestions.

happy evolving !!!


16. don’t get disheartened if mods don’t reply/take appropriate action.

singhvp
February 21st, 2010, 10:14 PM
Though I have started surfing this site recently, I have noticed that some members use very offensive and disgusting language. Only today I was going through a reply from someone (based in Australia) to the thread regarding NRIs and found a lot of disgust in it. The language which he used was very cheap and unchaste. Therefore, it becomes the responsibility of moderators to tell such people to behave. Code of conduct suggested by Shri Braham Tewatia is very much relevant and needs to be taken into consideration by moderators as well as members. To be very candid, general perception about Jat mannerism is not very good. It is not without reason. Some of you may not agree with me but there is substance in this argument. At least on this site there should be no place for rude and uncivilised behaviour. The crux of the matter is anyone making below the belt remarks or using filthy/foul language/remarks against any member should be blocked on this site. Rustic humour in lighter vein is ok.

brahmtewatia
March 1st, 2010, 06:49 PM
The Prakashit has gone Bhramit again!
but then anyone can have a bad day ! correct na ? just came here on my thread, to check what bakar bakar i've done earlier.

i tried to follow guideline no. 12, 13 & 14... i waited for couple of days following my guideline no. 7 and realised that guideline no. 1 holds good for me (in the particular case).

then i read, guideline no. 2... took a deep breath... held for a while... then released.

hmm... feeling better !


also recognize that everyone has a bad day where he might state something in a poor taste (<<< important, please note). look for the underlying logic in the statement and ignore the emotional wording. feel free to edit emotional wording to raise the level of discussion… guess our mods can once again bring it to a 24 hour time-frame as existed earlier on JL.

1. remember, people take offense at different things.
2. try not to assume the worse when a post makes you hurt or annoyed.
3. keep a sense of humor.
4. consider others may hold opinions which are dramatically different from your own.
5. consider you might be wrong.
6. consider there might be some truth in what the other person is saying.
7. wait a few hours before responding to a post which has upset you.
8. you are as much responsible for your reaction as the supposed offender is responsible for the offense.
9. consider how your words might be received.
10. consider whether you'd say your message face-to-face.
11. the offended party decides what is offensive.
12. apologies are best. however, if you wish not to apologize, consider clarifying your statement to better explain the intent behind an offending post.
13. be as direct as possible when responding to someone who has been offended by your post.
14. when offended, write off-list to the person saying… “when you said xxx i understood yyy. is that what you meant” ?

Fateh
June 25th, 2010, 06:48 PM
Brahm, a good initiative, good understanding, a good realisation and a good thought. In 1978 while serving in Brigade HQ at dharmsala, I got some opportunities to listen to sh Dalailama, I am reminded of his one message, May I share with you.

Take care of your thoughts because they become words
Take care of your words because they will become actions
Take care of your actions because they will become your habits
Take care of your habits because they will form your character
Take care of your character because it will form your destiny, And destiny is your life.

Jat community, on this form or anywhere, needs to improve its behaviour. Change in behaviour is called education, self discipline is best discipline, I think guide lines given by Mr Brahm are to be followed by all, cannot be imposed. Thanks Brahm, regards

nitindev
June 25th, 2010, 07:35 PM
I second your thoughts and the guidelines of Brahm Ji.

Thanks



Though I have started surfing this site recently, I have noticed that some members use very offensive and disgusting language. Only today I was going through a reply from someone (based in Australia) to the thread regarding NRIs and found a lot of disgust in it. The language which he used was very cheap and unchaste. Therefore, it becomes the responsibility of moderators to tell such people to behave. Code of conduct suggested by Shri Braham Tewatia is very much relevant and needs to be taken into consideration by moderators as well as members. To be very candid, general perception about Jat mannerism is not very good. It is not without reason. Some of you may not agree with me but there is substance in this argument. At least on this site there should be no place for rude and uncivilised behaviour. The crux of the matter is anyone making below the belt remarks or using filthy/foul language/remarks against any member should be blocked on this site. Rustic humour in lighter vein is ok.