Coming home: lets talk!

[poonam]

Well, I was curious to know how is it like re-locating back home after living in the US/abroad (Pakistan, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka etc ..dont count please..:D) for a long time. Do kids adjust/like it there? And grown ups..do you find it the way you expected? Do you ever regret your decision of going back? Or did you find it better than you would have imagined?

I would like to request people to share their experiences please!

I know its gonna be heterogenous feeling which is fine as people look for diff things and have diff priorities, have diff backgrounds (both career and family wise)..but lets talk here and lets see whats the general feeling..:)

Reminds me of this song as I write:

Well I've been down to Georgia,
I've seen the streets in the west,
I've driven down the 90,
Oh hell, I've seen America's best.
I've been through the Rockies,
Hell, I've seen Saskatoon,
I've driven down the Highway
Just hopin' that I'd see you soon.

Cuz I'm comin' home
I'm comin' home


Alright lets see who has to say what...c'mon.

[deepshi]

depends
if ur for a lifestyle in a country..u wud never..NEVER
if ur for money(sic) u will eventually,,coz ur torn..u belong nowhere..

n maybe this song refers to the actual home

[sidchhikara]

America has more opportunities. It is also better for women. It shields them from older Indian women ... gossiping auntie types ... hahahaha !

[harvindermalik]

Sandeep Deswal can answer this well...first hand experience hai uska taza taza

[downtoearth]

if the question is reversed......how is it for the people who are ready to pack their bags to go abroad......ny advice??;)

Well, Do you ever regret your decision of going abroad? Or did you find it better than you would have imagined?

I would like to request people to share their experiences please!;)

[raj2rif]

Dear Poonam Ji,

I think the human nature is that we resist change. When one goes to the new places, they always remember the good things about their old places, old school, old friends. It is all about surroundings. To live longer, and happy, there are two physically there two most essential things, clean water and clean air. Now it is all comparative for there would be impurities every where, the question is to what extent and how consistently you can get it.
If you have made friends abroad, if you are having a comfortable life style that you chose in first place, I am sure you are happy there. It all depends on your ability to embrace the new surroundings. While it might be easy for me to get adjusted in the new environment, it might not be the same for my spouse, or children, or for that matter another individual. It is all about adjustments and adaptability. So the best person to answer your question is your self. I always ask two questions to myself before doing a thing: 1. Can I do it? And the 2. Do I want to do it?
One can make tones of money by doing a job that they don’t like and remain unhappy all their life. On the other hand a person may not have many physical things, but if he/she is happy what they do, then the life is much more enjoyable.
I think if you are a healthy person, you would enjoy anywhere, and if you are not, then it really does not matter, no material thing can take away your personal physical and emotional pain.
So, make your decision (good, bad or ugly does not matter) and stand by it.

[deepshi]

So, make your decision (good, bad or ugly does not matter) and stand by it.

Good...correct..

[poonam]

America has more opportunities. It is also better for women. It shields them from older Indian women ... gossiping auntie types ... hahahaha !

Agreed in toto! :D

[sandeepkadian05]

I just think that human nature is the same anywhere you go... The buildings and skyline may differ but human beings remain the same so had no problem relocating to different places and returning home in between...

[poonam]

Thanks Col. Tavathia for your views.

Though I pretty much agree with what has been said here by everyone but (no dis-respect to the comments provided) I was looking mainly for peoples' experiences who have gone back after living here for a long time (>6-7 yrs, lets say).

(P.S. Rupi ..ghane swad manna le..:p)

[rajesh00]

Life has its own journey.No one can plan it and no one can predict it.Best will be to make the best of it, irrespective of who you are,where you are and how you are.Rivers make their own course.

[raj2rif]

Thanks Col. Tavathia for your views.

Though I pretty much agree with what has been said here by everyone but (no dis-respect to the comments provided) I was looking mainly for peoples' experiences who have gone back after living here for a long time (>6-7 yrs, lets say).

(P.S. Rupi ..ghane swad manna le..:p)

Dear Dr. Poonam,

What I believe is that we all have different perception about the way we see the things, be it comfort, education, environment and so on....
This is my assumption that it would be difficult not for you, but for your children if they are big enough to understand the difference. Things have improved a lot since I left the country 11 years ago. When I go back I don't find any problem, for major part of life I had lived there. Even my children don't mind living there as they were grown up when we came here. But the same is not true for th children born here, who are used to so much of physical comfort, and do not have any idea as to how to adjust in the new surroundings. It will be your responsibility to make them understand the way system works and the way of life. In India we don't mind if someone asks the child as to what he/she was doing or where he/she was going. While here in US it might be a privacy issue. There are so many differences specially if you happen to be in a small town. But if you are living in Metros, then things might be easy to adjust.

[abhijitboora]

There can never be a straight answer to this "phenomenon", if I may.

I think if we do not compare that we are leaving a 1st world country for a third world, and we should be lauded for our "sacrifice" .
Or we think that earned a lot in videsh, became a lot smarter, so we should be considered a lot smarter than rest in India.

You ask hundreds of folks, delicately weigh your options, carefully plan the relocation, and as soon as the plane reaches Indian air space, you wish it would fly - back...

or you believe that world's pretty much globalized..you are really not going back per se...have confidence in your decision making capabilities, the knowledge you've gained......enjoy the decision and motherland...

life always gives second chances....

I seem to be in philosophical mood today ;)

[amanpoonia]

Thanks Col. Tavathia for your views.

Though I pretty much agree with what has been said here by everyone but (no dis-respect to the comments provided) I was looking mainly for peoples' experiences who have gone back after living here for a long time (>6-7 yrs, lets say).

(P.S. Rupi ..ghane swad manna le..:p)

I also agree to Col ji points but I see what you are asking is a bit different. You are asking for actual experiences people had when they made this choice. I think about it a lot as my parents are in India whereas I am in Australia and brother is in US. I think a lot about going back and live with my parents as my brother, is not gonna go back for sure and my parents wont be comfortable (socially) here. Since I came here I have been back 4 times in a period of 6 years. I have seen India changing a lot especially in terms of shops , malls, cinemas etc Plus traffic, pollution, dust increased as well. Given that I belong to a small city there is not much option in terms of career and socail life AND the interference is too much as well. People generally dont get the concept of providing space in India and it can be a bit uncomfortable at times. So if I have to move back I can't really live in my city and have to live in a metro like Delhi, Bombay or Banglore. As someone said earlier as well if you are going to live in a metro city, it wont be difficult but if you want to go a small city it will be very hard. On the top of it there are few more consideartion like carrer(yours and your parterns), your kids education, location of the related family, adjustment to the Indian system. Why don't you share your fears or expectations or motivation to move back??

Aman

[urmiladuhan]

but if he/she is happy what they do, then the life is much more enjoyable-
+ + + + + +
Being happy is important. Some countries, such as Bhutan, use Happiness Index (and no just GDP) to know how well their citizens are doing. I hope more and more countries show care for their people this way.

[raj2rif]

There can never be a straight answer to this "phenomenon", if I may.


life always gives second chances....

;)

Dear Mr. Abhijit,

Well Said. That is the power of positive thinking. Thank you very much for sharing it, honestly I did learn a new thing today, and that is so motivating.

Thank you very much, I really appreciate it.

[poonam]

Guys, thx for your views and of course, time.

Well, I had to think through certain things (not that I'm going back...ummm dnt know..not as yet..), so asked for real life first hand experiences.

Mr. Boora, I hear you totally! And I can bet majority of NRIs face/go through this "phenomenon" at least once during their stay here/abroad.

[poonam]

Why don't you share your fears or expectations or motivation to move back??

Aman

It will be a humongous post mate..and dare I say horrendously confusing as well.. LOL..

But if I have to summarise in one line: Fear is of people(their narrow mindset..ok lil' bit of weather/pollution, to confess but that can be tackled with), motivation is to work for the country, expectation..ummm..difficult one ..let me reserve my comments on this one..:)