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ac
November 16th, 2009, 03:29 PM
Respect is an act of showing regard, consideration or appreciation for someone.

In Indian culture, from the moment a child is born, he/she is taught how to show respect to people, through several ways such as actions like saying namaste while holding hands together and bowing the head and words such as adding 'ji' after the title used to address the person and 'aap'. Using the first name of the person only would be considered sacrilege. But are the children actually taught to respect and not just show respect? Do most of the adolescents, young adults, adults and elderly in Haryana really respect and not just show respect to people around them?

I included the adults and elderly because respect must be mutual. For example, an elderly man of 65 years should also respect the thoughts and opinions of his son/daughter-in-law who is 40 years old. This respect can be shown by listening and acknowledging their thoughts/ feelings without enforcing his own. At the same time, the 40 year old must also show respect to the elderly. Just because they may be weak physically or need help and support, they shouldn't be written off.

A key indication of disrespect is aggression and violence. Whether it is in speech or action. Indians usually are quick to anger, quick to take offence and very quick to react. Often, the more subtle signs are in behaviour towards servants, drivers, employees, relatives or general public. Other ways that are an accepted part of life are such as by picking on someone based on their physical characteristics. Disrespect can often lead people to participate from incidents such as eve-teasing to grave incidents such as robbery, kidnapping, murders.

One of the biggest differences I have noticed in Australian and English culture is really respecting people rather than just showing respect. In Australia/ England, people use first names without any pre/post salutation. There is little point of the latter if one doesn't mean it. If you even used the word 'fat' to describe someone, people would be horrified. You are expected to use kinder words such as 'big'. When looking for a relationship/ spouse, above all, people try and find partners with compatible personalities (not measurable physical characteristics). People never pick on anyone. Actions such as eve-teasing are considered forms of harassment. Slapping or punching someone can even get you arrested and is a punishable offence.

I am not saying their cultures are perfect but there are certain points that can be appreciated and we can attempt to include them in our culture. Instead of practicing 'showing respect', perhaps we can also ensure that we sincerely respect those around us and teach our offsprings to do the same, for they will be the adults of tomorrow.

What are your thoughts?

rajivsp
November 16th, 2009, 08:14 PM
kindly do not compare East and West
there is big difference

Free advice (as Indians known for) to you
dont' forget you are from India (more specifically you are from JL).

Dheeraj24
November 16th, 2009, 08:31 PM
Why shouldn't we compare ?

I don't see any difference as such , which blocks or attempts to , comparison.

People are hardworking there , people are hardworking here.
About structures ..big shig buildings..people there have started renouncing them.

Gaon ke khet main baith ke hi Kisan Newton ne Laws likhe the.

rajivsp
November 16th, 2009, 09:14 PM
no big differences just cultural differences and respect very much depends on culture. In Americal Culture you can call your boss by name but not in European culture. Same in India. My comments was not on capabilities of human beings in that we all are same.

dahiyarules
November 16th, 2009, 09:20 PM
kindly do not compare East and West
there is big difference

Your statement is self-contradictory. There are differences between east and west. That's why the original author is comparing the two.


Free advice (as Indians known for) to you
dont' forget you are from India (more specifically you are from JL).

Your ethnic identity does should not be allowed to rid you of your ability to compare your culture of origin with other cultures that you come across.

The author is making a valid point. However, I may not agree with her entirely. From what I have seen in India, there are instances of both behaviors, i.e. showing real respect and feigned respect to others. In western cultures, one can find a similar attitude, but respect in most cases in genuine.

deepshi
November 16th, 2009, 09:55 PM
Just one thing that irks me here is somewhat lesser respect for parents and teachers/seniors..they treat them more like frnds,,whereas in India..aankho ki sharam hoti hai,they dont even have to mention or force..its natural.

Apart from that..I have observed the MOST IMPECCABLE manners here I ever came across with...m smitten with this place :)
Even the elderly and the senior gents at workplace would open the door for the lady,hold it,let her walk through ..and then follow....I used to be embarrased in the beginning..but thats their way of dealing!

The strangers walkin down the street smile at you,some even say hello...which may sound bit pervy and create suspicion in India lolz
And during the weekends/festivals,,even the most drunk/intimidating guy would be pretty harmless to women in particular.
people from afar may appear aloof/cold but once you have a question to ask/accidentally bump into them..they are so warm and engaging..humble,down to earth and self-conscious.

Donno bout other countries,but telling by my experiences here They dont discriminate according to status/looks/caste...they value u as a human...

People deemed them racists here but I reckon its reverse-racism...people here are too hard on themselves and self depreciating..always giving the other person more than a fair go!!

The only thing that is commendable is WHAT U SEE IS WHAT U GET... no place for pretentious/hypocrates/prudes here

So much to tell, but since we've been just discussing respect here,,

rajivsp
November 16th, 2009, 09:56 PM
You are right Sumit. I have involved in wrong discussion. I mean I am absolutely wrong here in this discussion.

Dheeraj24
November 16th, 2009, 10:08 PM
Why so?

What can be the solution?

Even a clerk in bank earning less than10k per month, speaks in too harsh tone even to an elderly guy.

annch
November 16th, 2009, 10:21 PM
You mean it is ok for a Senior Bank Manager earning in lakhs or whatever to speak in harsh tone to an elder person?


Even a clerk in bank earning less than10k per month, speaks in too harsh tone even to an elderly guy.

Dheeraj24
November 16th, 2009, 10:26 PM
Sometime(s) for an officer to maintain discipline , have to be harsh.

(Even to....clause depicts crossing of the last terrain)

..

anilsinghd
November 16th, 2009, 10:35 PM
But are the children actually taught to respect and not just show respect?

I included the adults and elderly because respect must be mutual.

A key indication of disrespect is aggression and violence. Whether it is in speech or action.

Indians usually are quick to anger, quick to take offence and very quick to react. Often, the more subtle signs are in behaviour towards servants, drivers, employees, relatives or general public.

Other ways that are an accepted part of life are such as by picking on someone based on their physical characteristics.

One of the biggest differences I have noticed in Australian and English culture is really respecting people rather than just showing respect. In Australia/ England, people use first names without any pre/post salutation.

When looking for a relationship/ spouse, above all, people try and find partners with compatible personalities (not measurable physical characteristics).

I am not saying their cultures are perfect but there are certain points that can be appreciated and we can attempt to include them in our culture. Instead of practicing 'showing respect', perhaps we can also ensure that we sincerely respect those around us and teach our offsprings to do the same, for they will be the adults of tomorrow.

What are your thoughts?
A refreshing post indeed! Let me first congratulate you for a nice thought and nice words/ideas to substantiate yourself. And what made it complete for me was the lines in bold. I just finished reading on Tendulkar 20 years celebrations and watched a few videos ( contrary to general trend , my mondays are a bit relaxing as most of stuff is done on saturday's , so I could find some time for myself today!) on the legend and he himself acknowledged that there is always scope for improvement. No harm , infact a great opportunity to incorporate some good things of other cultures into our own. :)

I would not go into detail of what is the reality , perhaps everyone is aware of that and those who are not do not want to think on those lines. I would share something from my own life , I do not know why but it is very hard for me to bow down , touch feet of people and trust me it is no ego issue or similar , just that I do not feel like it. Even with my parents it gets a bit hard , and my mom scolds me a few times on this but she knows that I respect her in my own ways. I completely agree with you that the idea and notion behind respect would be to DO it than SHOW it. I do not have a lot of ideas on how to achieve that , perhaps talking a lot with kids on how do they feel and how should they feel ( a healthy two way interaction) can help.

Cannot agree more on the theme that respect has to be mutual. for anyone who is into Orkut ( I am perhaps too much into it!) , there is a Today's fortune part there and its a fixed set of lines which keep repeating themselves in some order , one of them goes like this : Each generation thinks they have better ideas than the previous and the next generation. Something similar I mean.
This also is a part of general phenomenon that there is inherent superiority complex in individuals these days. Such is the nature of stressed out life that we live that even survival gives a sense of false belief and understanding. With so many emotions involved in the various relationships that we involve ourselves in , we tend to think that we are masters of every thing. Probably we are not but still thats not so bad a assumption to relieve some stress.

I would also put on the "angre/agressivenes" of Indians on the atmosphere they live in. Its cut throat from day 1 and remains the same all the way. On the choice of partners , perhaps a debatable issue but what if I say that till the time the people in western world look to settled down they perhaps have tried a few number of partners and have internalised this fact that relationship is more about the person than the looks?

On the salutations part I found it tough to change ( remember when i just arrived i would put a Sir in front of my manager as he was like ~ 50 and his own 8 year old would call him Andy , slowly I picked that up!).

Interesting point on the mutual respect is that we must account for the cultural context, while in India you would have grandparents assuming a primary role in upbringing the kids and having a say in everything , emotional attachments and stuff as well. Try painting a picture of a 50 year old in West , he/she would spend time at gym , go for sports , and other funky stuff while in Indian context you will a see a person spending more time with the family.


sorry i got distracted ( some work came over , my own curse!:() , I will continue later!

Thanks, Anil

annch
November 16th, 2009, 11:16 PM
I agree with Sumit that instances of both, respect and dissrespect, can be found in all cultures. Respect or disrespect is not culture specific.

Being polite or having good manners/ etiquettes are also gestures of respect as are namaste, addressing someone with "ji", touching feet of our elders. What makes a gesture more genuine than the other?

Correlation between disrespect and crime, how strong is it? I guess it is more disrespect for the laws of the land than a person that leads to crime.

[QUOTE=aakankshac;231806]
Disrespect can often lead people to participate from incidents such as eve-teasing to grave incidents such as robbery, kidnapping, murders.[\QUOTE]

sidchhikara
November 16th, 2009, 11:26 PM
You mean it is ok for a Senior Bank Manager earning in lakhs or whatever to speak in harsh tone to an elder person?

You mean it is ok for a Senior Bank Manager earning in lakhs or whatever to speak in harsh tone to a young:D person?

annch
November 16th, 2009, 11:35 PM
As per the original answer to my query that you have quoted-
yes, it would be ok in order to maintain discipline.

You mean it is ok for a Senior Bank Manager earning in lakhs or whatever to speak in harsh tone to a young:D person?

daivischahal
November 16th, 2009, 11:53 PM
akansha ji........apne haryana ke logon ke behaviour ka comaprison americans/australians ke sath kiya hai.....
apne comparison mein apne sirf 3 baatein likhi hai........
1.haryana me bachhon ko respect karna kaisa sikhaya jaata hai?
2.negative things from behaviour of haryanvi...
3.positive things from a foreigner behavoiur....

dont u think that we should compare +ve with +ve and then -ve with -ve....

haryana main zyadatar log gaanvo mein rahte hai.....and believe me 80% se zyada log apne bachho ko kabhi bhi kisi ko "ji" ya "aap" kahna nahi sikhate....bachho ko bas yahi bataya jaata hai ki ye tere CHACHA hai,ye TAYA hai,etc ,etc....
lekin bachhe fir bhi apne badon ki respect karte hai.....haan unki accent jarur rude hoti hai , joki har haryanvi ki hai.....lekin respect bilkul genuine hoti hai.....agar koi kisi ko like nahi karta to us-se sidhe muh baat hi nahi karta.....respect dena to dur ki baat hai.....

lekin jaise hi hum gaanvon se city me aate hai scenario ek dum change ho jaata hai.....yahan parents bachhon ko tab sikhana shuru kar dete hain jab unhone dhik se bolna bhi nahi sikha hota......wo bachhon ko "AAP" kahana to sikha dete hain par kisi ki respect karna nahi sikha paate.....kyonki respect karna sikhaya nahi jaata......hum usi ki respect karte hain jise hum like karte hain.....or is par to khud hamara bhi control nahi hota......ye jo sikhi hui respect hai ye most of the case me genuine nahi hoti......sirf dikhava hoti hai.....

aapne bilkul sahi kaha hai ki " respect must bhi mutual"
lekin aap hi bataayi haryana mei, jo ki ek PURUSH PRADHAN state hai, jahan parivaar ke saare faisale sirf ghar ka HEAD karta hai, wahan aisa kaise possible hai ki wo apne har decision me ghar ke har member se consult kare.....use head isiliye banaya jaata hai kyonki sab ko us par vishvas hota hai ki wo sabki bhalaai ka kaam hi karega......

or ab to ye trend bhi dhire-dhire khatam ho raha hai....is modernization ne joint family ko kai nuclear families me baant diya hai jahan sirf husband,wife or children hote hai.....

or mam rahi baat foriegn ki to mere pass comment karne ke liye kuch hai nahi kyonki kabhi america ya australia jaane ka moka nahi mila......lekin jitna doston se suna hai(who have visited foriegn )and from hollywood movies uske base par itna kah sakta hun ki jin foreigners ke behavour ki aap baat kar rahe ho wo wahan ke highly professional or educated log hain......unse itni to umid ki jaa sakti hai ki wo publicly achha behave karen.......or aisa bhi jaruri nahi ki wo respect genuine hi ho.......
lekin wahan ka jo aam aadmi hai uski bhasha bahut hi vulgar hai(its my personal experience from my NRI friends.....)
or jo aadmi sadak par apko smile de kar hello bol raha ho aapko kya pta uske andar kya chal raha hai.....may be s/he is thinking something wrong abt u.....
is dikhave ki respect se to haryana ki rudness hi achhi hai....
saame achhe-2 words use karna or baad mei kahna "BLOODY INDIAN" , is -se to kahin achha hai ki aap face par hi 2 gaali suna do......

or mam rahi marriages ki baat to likhna to mai is par bhibahut chahta hun par fir mujhe lagega ki main kisi essay competition me part le raha hun.....bas itna hi kahna chahunga ki indian marriages are much much successfull than foreign marriages....

akansha ji ye mera point of view hai.....agar kahi galti hui ho to mafi chahunga....

ac
November 17th, 2009, 01:36 AM
Dear All,

I am delighted to hear the various thoughts you have expressed as well as points you have raised. I could have a written a 100 page thesis (for a thorough balanced analysis) on this but chose to expresses just a few thoughts as I wanted to initiate a discussion and leave room for everyone else to express themselves as well as share experiences they have had. For those who posted in reply, thank you for making your contribution.

Just because someone may be living/studying/working overseas that does not necessarily make them anti-Indian/ anti-Jat etc. It is essential to try and be as objective as possible and appreciate that different people may have different perspectives on a matter. Yes, I am not in India right now, but while I am overseas I am trying to learn as much as I can and be the best person I can be in terms of my professional skills, personality and values. I am not perfect and make my own mistakes too. But I try and improve on a daily basis. Isn't this what we all should try and be? (I will write another post on this next week). Additionally, my experiences are limited to Australia, UK and Germany. I welcome to hear about people's experiences in other countries/ thoughts from India which deviate away from what one may see/ hear through other channels (incl. movies)

Irrespective of which village/ state/ country/ continent one may be in, there will always be differences as well as similarities in cultures and people. It is difficult to generalise and perhaps not fair to generalise even, but the only way to make any form of statement on any matter can be done only with a form of 'generalisation'.

Regarding what makes a gesture more genuine? Indeed every culture has their own gestures, and I appreciate the ones we have in ours. In my previous post I meant that often the emphasis is merely on making the gesture rather than really appreciating what the value (in this case respect) is about.

Regarding the correlation between crime and respect/ disrespect. Again, a valid question. In my opinion, people indulge in crime when they lose their moral values and respect is a critical one. Legally, yes, crime would be defined as 'breaking the law'. However, all laws were formed for the sole reason of respecting people (a group of people, an individual, their property, their work or even more). I think every single law can be traced down to preserving a form of right of a human being. Losing respect may start off in a small inconsequential way, but it may balloon up to more grave incidents.

Regarding the aggressiveness among us Indians, I agree it is largely due to the daily struggle of survival - working and supporting those who depend on us. Competition is cut-throat and we must be on our toes daily to make sure we do not 'lose the race'. The aggressiveness is often supplemented with frustration and anger as well. However, it would be ideal if these were constrained to ensuring greater productivity rather than losing control (Again, easier said than done).

Regarding finding the right life partner. Indeed, in western countries people go through a few partners before settling down. The point I was trying to make was on choosing personality over physical characteristics. For example. The first level of elimination/ selection on Jatland Matrimonials seem to be age, height and weight. What if instead it offered personality descriptions: loves sports and outdoor activities/ appreciates literature and art. (Perhaps I should start a website based on this? :-) )

Often my posts mention 'teaching the kids' because 10-20 years later, they will be the young adults. The adults of today can make an attempt to practice ideas and thoughts they want to embody in themselves as well as they think their children should have to be good, productive human beings. I also emphasise on teaching kids because habits are formed and values are 'integrated in our soul' at a young age. Some of these will be unshakeable as the children grow up while others may mould/ deviate/ adapt based on experiences and changes in society/ environment. For me, values such as honesty, respect, integrity fall in the unshakeable category.

Regarding Haryana being a 'pursh pradhan' state. I am well aware of this custom and the point made is that the (male) head of the family makes the decision and it would be difficult to consult each and every person. If this was a company, the CEO would be the head. If the CEO made decisions without consulting/listening to his managers (who in turn made decisions without consulting/listening to the employees under them), that would be the end of the company. A good CEO is one who hears everyone out (via the chains in management) and exercises his/her judgement based on the information available. I think the (male/female) head of the family should do the same. Sure, it is difficult to make everyone happy but hopefully the 'right' and 'fair' decision could be made based on the information (views, thoughts, feelings and facts) gained by talking to everyone.

Another point I would like to make is that India and Indians are appreciated overseas. Most countries, especially English speaking ones are heavily populated with Indians at all professional levels whether they were born their or moved there at a later stage. Moreover, western countries have become very multi-cultural and tolerant and inter-racial marriages are becoming commonplace too. So, I can confidently say strong emotions among the general public against a particular race/ region of the planet are on the decline.

A final point on the success of Indian marriages. How does one define this success? Is it the fact that the people remain married or the degree of happiness in the relationship? How much of it is based on comprise, especially by the wife? How much of the compromise would be considered 'unfair'? How much of this success is based on the societal stigma of being divorced as well as it being virtually impossible for a divorced woman to remarry again?

I may not have addressed all the points raised in the above replies, but welcome others to address them.

Best Wishes,

sidchhikara
November 17th, 2009, 02:54 AM
As per the original answer to my query that you have quoted-
yes, it would be ok in order to maintain discipline.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sidchhikara http://www.jatland.com/forums/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.jatland.com/forums/showthread.php?p=231841#post231841)
You mean it is ok for a Senior Bank Manager earning in lakhs or whatever to speak in harsh tone to a young:D person?


What is the age at which a person turns from young to "elder"?

Say, that happens at time t. Does that mean at t-1, poor girl is getting crap from all directions because she is indisciplined, suddenly at t there is a deafening silence - people around her are already swallowing their words, at t+1, she is heralded as a disciplined zen master, people are falling at her feet, even Baba Ramdev stops lecturing her about her health.

sidchhikara
November 17th, 2009, 03:11 AM
Dear All,



A final point on the success of Indian marriages. How does one define this success? Is it the fact that the people remain married or the degree of happiness in the relationship? How much of it is based on comprise, especially by the wife? How much of the compromise would be considered 'unfair'? How much of this success is based on the societal stigma of being divorced as well as it being virtually impossible for a divorced woman to remarry again?



Best Wishes,

Yes, low divorce rate is based on social stigma, lack of social security for women and financial constraints. Ram-sita ki jodi are good for comics and Ramayan serials. Couples who really like each other will stay married whether it is India, Aus, Europe, Africa. In Indian more women stay married because of other factors that you pointer out in your post.

Increasing divorce rates in metros are indication of this. This has happened for every country in the world when women started enjoying greater rights.

sidchhikara
November 17th, 2009, 03:16 AM
Lemme tell you a real story about respect.
My mamaa who lives in the village with his 2 sons - is in really bad health because of prostate issues. His sons don't get him medicine, he keeps peeing on himself. His sons keep fighting amongst themselves for property etc.. so he has to pick favorites so that he can make sure that he gets his meals from somewhere on time.
Village children are supposed to be most SEVA -oriented - yeah... right !!

amans
November 17th, 2009, 04:13 AM
Indian culture- what is that? If it is so strong why do they celebrate foreign festivals, burn brides?
Lord Krishna - a playboy!
Does education make a person - don't think so. I have seen educated Indian(jats) behaving despicably.
Same for ladies.
Indian culture? a mixture of traditions brought to India by various invaders.
Indian values - what are those? When Indians see other Indians in the west they behave contemptuously. Most likely true anywhere you go be it New York, London or Moscow. So much for Indian values.
Oldest racist system in the world - Indian caste system.
Light skin is preferred over black skin.
I have seen husbands compromising with their low life Indian wives because of their children. Just because a person is a lady does not make her a saint.
Age is a mental thing.

annch
November 17th, 2009, 04:16 AM
Please do get your original concept copy righted....


Originally Posted by sidchhikara http://www.jatland.com/forums/images/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://www.jatland.com/forums/showthread.php?p=231841#post231841)



What is the age at which a person turns from young to "elder"?

Say, that happens at time t. Does that mean at t-1, poor girl is getting crap from all directions because she is indisciplined, suddenly at t there is a deafening silence - people around her are already swallowing their words, at t+1, she is heralded as a disciplined zen master, people are falling at her feet, even Baba Ramdev stops lecturing her about her health.

Nishantrathi82
November 17th, 2009, 09:36 AM
Most easy way to earn respect is give respect. The way you treat other's same treatment u will get from them. Respect is not country or region specific its every where. Respect doesn't mean touching the feet or Namastey, i have seen many people who touch someone's feet and behind his back they just use to abuse them.
When i was in Australia i have seen even senior persons in a company are used to say few abusive words(atleast we consider those words abusive) in daily common conversation but that doesn't mean that they don't know how to respect of other, they are very good and behave respectfully to other's they are very well mannered better than many of us. So we can't compare the respect between western and indian countries the environment is totally different.
Respect should be in heart which will automatically comes in words and acts.

amans
November 17th, 2009, 11:36 AM
Most easy way to earn respect is give respect. The way you treat other's same treatment u will get from them. Respect is not country or region specific its every where. Respect doesn't mean touching the feet or Namastey, i have seen many people who touch someone's feet and behind his back they just use to abuse them.
When i was in Australia i have seen even senior persons in a company are used to say few abusive words(atleast we consider those words abusive) in daily common conversation but that doesn't mean that they don't know how to respect of other, they are very good and behave respectfully to other's they are very well mannered better than many of us. So we can't compare the respect between western and indian countries the environment is totally different.
Respect should be in heart which will automatically comes in words and acts.

Not always true.

vicky84
November 17th, 2009, 01:03 PM
Most easy way to earn respect is give respect. The way you treat other's same treatment u will get from them. Respect is not country or region specific its every where. Respect doesn't mean touching the feet or Namastey, i have seen many people who touch someone's feet and behind his back they just use to abuse them.
When i was in Australia i have seen even senior persons in a company are used to say few abusive words(atleast we consider those words abusive) in daily common conversation but that doesn't mean that they don't know how to respect of other, they are very good and behave respectfully to other's they are very well mannered better than many of us. So we can't compare the respect between western and indian countries the environment is totally different.
Respect should be in heart which will automatically comes in words and acts.

Agree with you.. You cannot compare apple and oranges.

malikdeepak1
November 17th, 2009, 03:43 PM
Respect should be in heart which will automatically come in words and acts.

Most aptly answered! :)
Respect dil me hoti hai. Actions can't be always the way of judging how someone respects you. Kayi bar upar se dikhawe ke liye bhi respect karte hai bahut sare log. Peeth piche fir utni hi gaaliya nikalte hai.

deepshi
November 17th, 2009, 05:43 PM
akansha ji........apne haryana ke logon ke behaviour ka comaprison americans/australians ke sath kiya hai.....
apne comparison mein apne sirf 3 baatein likhi hai........
1.haryana me bachhon ko respect karna kaisa sikhaya jaata hai?
2.negative things from behaviour of haryanvi...
3.positive things from a foreigner behavoiur....

dont u think that we should compare +ve with +ve and then -ve with -ve....

haryana main zyadatar log gaanvo mein rahte hai.....and believe me 80% se zyada log apne bachho ko kabhi bhi kisi ko "ji" ya "aap" kahna nahi sikhate....bachho ko bas yahi bataya jaata hai ki ye tere CHACHA hai,ye TAYA hai,etc ,etc....
lekin bachhe fir bhi apne badon ki respect karte hai.....haan unki accent jarur rude hoti hai , joki har haryanvi ki hai.....lekin respect bilkul genuine hoti hai.....agar koi kisi ko like nahi karta to us-se sidhe muh baat hi nahi karta.....respect dena to dur ki baat hai.....

lekin jaise hi hum gaanvon se city me aate hai scenario ek dum change ho jaata hai.....yahan parents bachhon ko tab sikhana shuru kar dete hain jab unhone dhik se bolna bhi nahi sikha hota......wo bachhon ko "AAP" kahana to sikha dete hain par kisi ki respect karna nahi sikha paate.....kyonki respect karna sikhaya nahi jaata......hum usi ki respect karte hain jise hum like karte hain.....or is par to khud hamara bhi control nahi hota......ye jo sikhi hui respect hai ye most of the case me genuine nahi hoti......sirf dikhava hoti hai.....

aapne bilkul sahi kaha hai ki " respect must bhi mutual"
lekin aap hi bataayi haryana mei, jo ki ek PURUSH PRADHAN state hai, jahan parivaar ke saare faisale sirf ghar ka HEAD karta hai, wahan aisa kaise possible hai ki wo apne har decision me ghar ke har member se consult kare.....use head isiliye banaya jaata hai kyonki sab ko us par vishvas hota hai ki wo sabki bhalaai ka kaam hi karega......

or ab to ye trend bhi dhire-dhire khatam ho raha hai....is modernization ne joint family ko kai nuclear families me baant diya hai jahan sirf husband,wife or children hote hai.....

or mam rahi baat foriegn ki to mere pass comment karne ke liye kuch hai nahi kyonki kabhi america ya australia jaane ka moka nahi mila......lekin jitna doston se suna hai(who have visited foriegn )and from hollywood movies uske base par itna kah sakta hun ki jin foreigners ke behavour ki aap baat kar rahe ho wo wahan ke highly professional or educated log hain......unse itni to umid ki jaa sakti hai ki wo publicly achha behave karen.......or aisa bhi jaruri nahi ki wo respect genuine hi ho.......
lekin wahan ka jo aam aadmi hai uski bhasha bahut hi vulgar hai(its my personal experience from my NRI friends.....)
or jo aadmi sadak par apko smile de kar hello bol raha ho aapko kya pta uske andar kya chal raha hai.....may be s/he is thinking something wrong abt u.....
is dikhave ki respect se to haryana ki rudness hi achhi hai....
saame achhe-2 words use karna or baad mei kahna "BLOODY INDIAN" , is -se to kahin achha hai ki aap face par hi 2 gaali suna do......

or mam rahi marriages ki baat to likhna to mai is par bhibahut chahta hun par fir mujhe lagega ki main kisi essay competition me part le raha hun.....bas itna hi kahna chahunga ki indian marriages are much much successfull than foreign marriages....

akansha ji ye mera point of view hai.....agar kahi galti hui ho to mafi chahunga....

Now m scared..perverts here!
yes..theres a dearth of good-lookin gals here..mass famine...so u never know!
Gives me creeps!

deepshi
November 17th, 2009, 05:45 PM
Dear All,


Just because someone may be living/studying/working overseas that does not necessarily make them anti-Indian/ anti-Jat etc. It is essential to try and be as objective as possible and appreciate that different people may have different perspectives on a matter.
Best Wishes,

Correct
Maybe it just gives you to view ur country from afar..with a broader prospective

deepshi
November 17th, 2009, 05:46 PM
You said it..
Hit the nail hard..
Yes, low divorce rate is based on social stigma, lack of social security for women and financial constraints. Ram-sita ki jodi are good for comics and Ramayan serials. Couples who really like each other will stay married whether it is India, Aus, Europe, Africa. In Indian more women stay married because of other factors that you pointer out in your post.

Increasing divorce rates in metros are indication of this. This has happened for every country in the world when women started enjoying greater rights.

deepshi
November 17th, 2009, 06:02 PM
And then there are some..who wish unka husband aaj marr jaa..no attachment/passion or even compassion..
they live with them,,but fake it to the max.
height of pretence
May engage in adultery, cribbing, cursing and what not..but they remain ATTACHED and married.

bacchon ki life kharaab..issey aacha to jii leney do us becharey ko
Same applies to men

IMO,its this way or that..ur IN ot OUT..
could never understand..do naav ki sawaari lolz

Dheeraj24
November 17th, 2009, 06:14 PM
Universal Saying :
Without Control of Groom's Mother over Bride after marriage is a passport to Groom's DISASTER.

Specially if girl is BAGDAN , Same -or- Over Age than Guy.

deepshi
November 17th, 2009, 06:17 PM
saame achhe-2 words use karna or baad mei kahna "BLOODY INDIAN" , is -se to kahin achha hai ki aap face par hi 2 gaali suna do......


Jis k bi experiences hain..bahot burey hain
ya stereotyped hain..

sidchhikara
November 17th, 2009, 10:32 PM
Universal Saying :
Without Control of Groom's Mother over Bride after marriage is a passport to Groom's DISASTER.

Specially if girl is BAGDAN , Same -or- Over Age than Guy.

bwahahahahahaha !!

I have no idea what it means or where those specific conditions came from.

Ridiculous!!

piyush83
November 18th, 2009, 01:59 AM
Respect and disrespect is not specific to any culture or country. But the ways of showing respect differs from country to country, culture to culture, and even social class/financial status and education.
One thing I find funny in India is that some poeple think i'm trying to be an englishman when i say thank you, it's become a reflex action for me, but saying 'shukariya' or dhanaywaad all the time just sounds stupid. I wish they had less royal sounding names in hindi.

But when it comes to respecting people I found America in general to be very respectful. I was there for 2 weeks with my father about a week ago, and man, people were so helpful and so polite, every time i said thank you they said 'you're welcome' with a warm smile, and not once was it just because they were trying to be polite, they enjoyed making you feel home and respecting you.
Respect's closely linked to love, I think and if you love people and are caring you will respect them. Plain and simple!

annch
November 18th, 2009, 02:41 AM
Re 1) Anyone will recognise a gesture of respect, irrespective of country. Can one guarantee the authenticity/ value of that gesture?? However, the polite societies are definitely better at face values.

Re 2) Rightly said, applies to any society, not just to India, in a small inconsequential way.

Thanks

Dear All,
1) Regarding what makes a gesture more genuine? Indeed every culture has their own gestures, and I appreciate the ones we have in ours. In my previous post I meant that often the emphasis is merely on making the gesture rather than really appreciating what the value (in this case respect) is about.

2) Regarding the correlation between crime and respect/ disrespect. Again, a valid question. In my opinion, people indulge in crime when they lose their moral values and respect is a critical one. Legally, yes, crime would be defined as 'breaking the law'. However, all laws were formed for the sole reason of respecting people (a group of people, an individual, their property, their work or even more). I think every single law can be traced down to preserving a form of right of a human being. Losing respect may start off in a small inconsequential way, but it may balloon up to more grave incidents.

annch
November 18th, 2009, 02:46 AM
Even if you compare apples to apples, the better apple is the one you have in hand and can eat!!! Right? :)

Agree with you.. You cannot compare apple and oranges.

vicky84
November 18th, 2009, 03:42 AM
Even if you compare apples to apples, the better apple is the one you have in hand and can eat!!! Right? :)


Precisely...Look i am not saying that you cannot get something better out of the available options..But i am obsessed with the comparison here between West and India. I have my own personal experience with that..Some of things do not work when it comes to applying..A good behavior or bad behavior...or what else..etiquettes or manners..they all persist in every culture..You would have been taught from parents as well..But following someone does not mean that you are inheriting right things..and sometimes they do not work..I remember when one of my friend got offended when i used the word "Lucky Ba$tard"..And he was right at his place..Same if you use "Smart A$$"...and so on...Coming to the point..Manners persist in every culture..In fact Indian culture is the richest in manners and etiquettes than anyone else in the world..I am not criticizing that West is bad ..They have their own ways to show a respect..and good and bad people are everywhere..Now it depends upon you what do you follow..But yes one cannot compare apple and oranges..Sorry i am in between some work..will get back to this later on.

annch
November 18th, 2009, 07:17 AM
Atish, your this line effectively sums up the discussion for me atleast. :)
Thanks

..Now it depends upon you what do you follow...

tomarhitesh23
November 18th, 2009, 08:14 AM
lekin bachhe fir bhi apne badon ki respect karte hai.....haan unki accent jarur rude hoti hai , joki har haryanvi ki hai.....lekin respect bilkul genuine hoti hai.....


Sahi Kaha bhai..... bado/doosroon ke liye respect boli(accent) se nahi... ghar waloon ne jo achaar vichaar.... parwarish ..de hai us par depend karta hai ......:)




haryana main zyadatar log gaanvo mein rahte hai

yeh bhi bilkul sahi kaha .... haryana main jydatar jab hain hi ganwaar to kahan se layenge respect - vespect.... yeh unka ka nahi jo unke bado ne sikhaya us ka doosh hai....:rock:rock

Koi nahi bhai time ke saath sab badal raha hai... haryana main bhi literacy rate dheere dheere badhegi... log bahar jayenge...doosro se milenge to apne jungli pan ko bhi bhool jayenge..... hope for the best BRO..All the best...:)

daivischahal
November 18th, 2009, 08:31 AM
Khawatein to bahaut sari hein... ;)
jaise kae "Khisyaanee Billi khamba noche"... :rolleyes: "Gadhae kae sar pae seeng nahee"... :rolleyes: "Angoor Khattae Hein"... :eek: etc. etc. aali khwatein bhi hua karein!!! :D:D:D

shailender bhai maine jo uper likha hai that is specifically for a particular type of person.........so no offence........i respect all NRI's who respect INDIANS, love INDIA and feel proud to be an INDIAN......
again if i hurt ur feelings,then i m extremely sorry......

deepshi
November 18th, 2009, 09:04 AM
[QUOTE=daivischahal;231959]seems that u r having a good time there.....congrats........at least somebody is following u....
u know if its a fact dat if u like someone then u will appreciate his/her every deed.. .....same is the case with u.......u like americans so much.......
n its not only u, there r many people in india who think that americans are much superior than indians.......so they just try to ape americans...their culture,their lifestyle....

=QUOTE]

Ye America to hamarey Aas-Pass bi nahi lagta..
n mate..its not aping..its assimilating,,not by force but naturally..

of course..those who dont...( I think its those who come just for MONEY) they have a perpetually divided mindset
Dhobi ka kutta na ghar ka na ghaat ka!
I think u said u've never been to these countries..so dont write something on heresay..or that u dont know about!
And if someone tries to explain...LISTEN TO THEM..

deepshi
November 18th, 2009, 09:10 AM
its just wastage of time to have discussion with a person like u.......

N yeah..keep proving me right..
go on..

deepshi
November 18th, 2009, 09:24 AM
yeh bhi bilkul sahi kaha .... haryana main jydatar jab hain hi ganwaar to kahan se layenge respect - vespect.... yeh unka ka nahi jo unke bado ne sikhaya us ka doosh hai....:rock:rock

Koi nahi bhai time ke saath sab badal raha hai... haryana main bhi literacy rate dheere dheere badhegi... log bahar jayenge...doosro se milenge to apne jungli pan ko bhi bhool jayenge..... hope for the best BRO..All the best...:)

Strangely, found that its more respect for elders or others in Haryana or other Jat villages.
doesnt matter what tone they speak in..the genuine-ness in there eyes doesnt go unnoticed
People with Integrity..

I reckon its only in city that people are self-centred and and dont give a rat for the others..forget bout manners/respect

deepshi
November 18th, 2009, 09:54 AM
Moreover...Dont be hopless..u MAY some day get a chance to visit any of these countries..for whom u have pre-conceived (ill) notions.. and are so blatantly biased and on the contrary obsessed about.
Dont let ur frustations morphe into personal comments..
if u care to, go back and check the title of this thread..

So now...
Breathe..its alright..
Breathe..u doin fine
Just Breathe..
shailender bhai maine jo uper likha hai that is specifically for a particular type of person.........so no offence........i respect all NRI's who respect INDIANS, love INDIA and feel proud to be an INDIAN......
again if i hurt ur feelings,then i m extremely sorry......

akshaymalik84
November 18th, 2009, 10:29 AM
After reading three pages of experiance exchanges between fellow member living happily in various corners of world, I would prefer self- respect prior to respect. We live closely and comes in each other way and there i think we loose some respect for each other.
Many cultures have different ways of giving respect but self respect is person's own and can not be taken away from him. If you want to be respected by others the one thing is to respect yourself. Only by that, only by self-respect will you compel others to respect you.

malikdeepak1
November 18th, 2009, 10:30 AM
yeh bhi bilkul sahi kaha .... haryana main jydatar jab hain hi ganwaar to kahan se layenge respect - vespect....

Bhai tomar ek bar jaa ke dekh haryane ke gaam me.. Ye saher aale tane sukhi chai me turka denge, par gaam aale aaj bhi nooni ghee dhar ke roti khuwawenge tane.. Poori ijjat de ke bolenge. tere jaye piche nyu koni kahwe ke "Bera nahi kit te aan marya", Jo ki saharo me bilkul aam hai.. Gaon me har bade aadmi ke samne najar nichi karke nikalte hia aur wo najar bade ki ijjat ki vjah se nichi hoti hai.. :thappad:thappad:boxing
yeh unka ka nahi jo unke bado ne sikhaya us ka doosh hai....:rock:rock
wo kahya kare na ke kharbooje ne dekh ke kharbooja rang badlya kare.. sara dosh parents ka nahi hota. Sangat ka bhi hota hia. jo jaisi sangat me rahta hai wo waisa hi ho jata hai.. :boxing

Koi nahi bhai time ke saath sab badal raha hai... haryana main bhi literacy rate dheere dheere badhegi... log bahar jayenge...doosro se milenge to apne jungli pan ko bhi bhool jayenge.....

Mere bhai jisne tu junglipan kah se wo hmara culture hai.. Hmari boli aisi hai ki agar hum kisi ko ijjat de kar bolte hia to unhe lagta hai ki patthar mar rha hai.. The tone of speaking is like that only. Aur ache or bure har jagah hote hai.. Haryana is no exception!

Rahi literacy ki baat to vipin bhai ne tere tai samjha diya ki literacy kaha par JYADA hai :thappad

..........:)

VirJ
November 18th, 2009, 10:41 AM
..........:)


are yar meri literacy vali post mod ne delete kar dee. According to current figures released by Govt there is nearly 14 to 15 % difference between haryana and rajesthan literacy. Ye to aap hisab laga lo upar kaun he aur neeche kaun.

tomarhitesh23
November 18th, 2009, 11:10 AM
Govt. Figures par haryana hi vishwaas karta hoga..... baki or to koi nahi karta :rock:rock:rock... khush reh.... Tera dosh nahi... deepak ne jaisa kaha " Sangati ka asar hai"

daivischahal
November 18th, 2009, 11:42 AM
..........:)

malik saab aapne bilkul sahi kaha hai.......completly agree with u.......

shailendra
November 18th, 2009, 09:54 PM
shailender bhai maine jo uper likha hai that is specifically for a particular type of person.........so no offence........i respect all NRI's who respect INDIANS, love INDIA and feel proud to be an INDIAN......
again if i hurt ur feelings,then i m extremely sorry......

… Well Sandeep tell you what - apology accepted, by the way that post of mine seem to have already been deleted by the mods in any case;;) (sometimes one really doesn’t know what they are having for breakfast back there…) :D

Ah well, anyhow listen; I was in some (albeit creatively before being thwarted by the over-zealous mods like the 'saas' in some TV family sitcom :rolleyes:) trying to educate you (and other birds of same feathers) that exact same difference of opinion of not being hasty in generalizing a whole slew of other folks based on what one's fuzzy perceptions may be, or simply what you call ‘particular' people.
It really does not make for a conducive discussion environment!

Secondly remember, while just by my saying to the affects of ‘I am a proud Indian’, 'respect India', and/or ‘I love India’ does not automatically make me one, on the same lines NEITHER does my appreciating certain value-systems of a country where I live, work, and play immediately make me by default an ‘Anti-Indian’!!! (Well, it doesn’t unless you are actually thinking like a rabid, radical cleric of some misguided outfit that hates everything ‘west’; and I would be lying if I were to say that there are actually none on jatland that are begining to sound likewise every time they post on such related topics!)

It begs the stand that either one can completely chose to ignore such 'poor' generalization comments and/or better try and point out the folly of the author… I am glad that at least you clarified your stand; [though how you for example immediately took for granted an Indian living/working in Aussie-land ‘loves’ Americans (another pre-conceived generalization of all things termed West , and as some would say...just for the heck of it) is beyond me and unfortunately also sorta proves your statement for the ‘NRI’s’ otherwise!]

But just like in the cricketing terms when it comes to a controversial LBW decision; I can agree to give you the benefit of doubt here! ;):D:rolleyes:

Cheers!!! :rolleyes:

shailendra
November 18th, 2009, 10:15 PM
Though reasons that can well be attributed to my very recent pet peeve; here I seem to be digressing from the main theme of the thread all over again, but with due apologies to its author - maybe with just one last input on this whole controversial business and then we can continue to discuss the aspects of ‘Respect’ in all its finer colors….

There is this famous tale (or legend/joke) about an ‘immigrant’ and the ‘West’ that may appeal to the sensibilities of folks from both sides of the fence – and is actually quite profound if you come to think of it and aptly puts the discussion about the east and west in quite the right perspective!

Someone asked this immigrant (someone who had moved to the ‘West’ quite recently, yes complete w/ his boriya and bistar!) of what is that one major aspect that he liked about living in the West?

“Its freedom!” he promptly replied.

Okay, so now what is that one biggest thing that he disliked about living in the west?

Again the immigrant did not bat an eyelid before replying immediately, “The same thing – its freedom!!!”

rsdalal
November 18th, 2009, 10:38 PM
Dude, Grow up....


Govt. Figures par haryana hi vishwaas karta hoga..... baki or to koi nahi karta :rock:rock:rock... khush reh.... Tera dosh nahi... deepak ne jaisa kaha " Sangati ka asar hai"

VirJ
November 19th, 2009, 05:29 AM
… Well Sandeep tell you what - apology accepted, by the way that post of mine seem to have already been deleted by the mods in any case;;) (sometimes one really doesn’t know what they are having for breakfast back there…) :D

Ah well, anyhow listen; I was in some (albeit creatively before being thwarted by the over-zealous mods like the 'saas' in some TV family sitcom :rolleyes:) trying to educate you (and other birds of same feathers) that exact same difference of opinion of not being hasty in generalizing a whole slew of other folks based on what one's fuzzy perceptions may be, or simply what you call ‘particular' people.
It really does not make for a conducive discussion environment!

Secondly remember, while just by my saying to the affects of ‘I am a proud Indian’, 'respect India', and/or ‘I love India’ does not automatically make me one, on the same lines NEITHER does my appreciating certain value-systems of a country where I live, work, and play immediately make me by default an ‘Anti-Indian’!!! (Well, it doesn’t unless you are actually thinking like a rabid, radical cleric of some misguided outfit that hates everything ‘west’; and I would be lying if I were to say that there are actually none on jatland that are begining to sound likewise every time they post on such related topics!)

It begs the stand that either one can completely chose to ignore such 'poor' generalization comments and/or better try and point out the folly of the author… I am glad that at least you clarified your stand; [though how you for example immediately took for granted an Indian living/working in Aussie-land ‘loves’ Americans (another pre-conceived generalization of all things termed West , and as some would say...just for the heck of it) is beyond me and unfortunately also sorta proves your statement for the ‘NRI’s’ otherwise!]

But just like in the cricketing terms when it comes to a controversial LBW decision; I can agree to give you the benefit of doubt here! ;):D:rolleyes:

Cheers!!! :rolleyes:


:confused: Why such a big explaination? On one hand you are giving him "benefit of doubt", on the other hand --------. I think it was a typo on his part. he mis-typed America instead of Australia. If you love India while living in America then keep loving, India need people like you !!

Also you said there are a few radical cleric on this site?? When, where, How many?? and you said "(sometimes one really doesn’t know what they are having for breakfast back there…)". Can't understand? Back there. Where?? Sorry Poor english!!

Lastly, your joke about migrants or immigrants for you " Isn't this a pure generalisation" by western people. Just few lines above you were asking him not to generalise and here you youself generalised all immigrants?????

I am just trying to understand both's point of views.

tomarhitesh23
November 19th, 2009, 07:51 AM
Sahi Kaha bhai..... bado/doosroon ke liye respect boli(accent) se nahi... ghar waloon ne jo achaar vichaar.... parwarish ..de hai us par depend karta hai ......

bhai mere boli to saaro ke ek si hai....boli ke bare main to maine pehle hi bata diya tha.... jara najar thya ke dekh:rock:rock

bhai...baki tere culture ki tene aap hi bata di... ab najaraan talle lya ke dekh:rock




Mere bhai jisne tu junglipan kah se wo hmara culture hai.:rock:rock:rock


no offense from my side.... kuchh to daivischahal ne kaha tha...or kuch kami te puri kardi.....

khush reh mere yaar..chhoo na manne....

malikdeepak1
November 19th, 2009, 09:25 AM
bhai...baki tere culture ki tene aap hi bata di... ab najaraan talle lya ke dekh:rock

no offense from my side.... kuchh to daivischahal ne kaha tha...or kuch kami te puri kardi.....

khush reh mere yaar..chhoo na manne....

Dude! Let me clarify you one thing. I never accepted ur term "junglipan" for Haryana people. You commented on our behaviour by using this term. I just wanted to tell you that other people, when in conversation with us, always feel like if we are going to fight even when we try to be utmost polite. But you took it in other way.. :thappad

I was talking about our dialect there. We respect our dialect to the most, and others also. Same is with people. Kad aaiye mhare gaam kenya bhi. tane bera paat jaga kaun jyada respect karta hai.. Baki ib ya tane Raj thackery aali baat si kar di "yo tera er yu mera" aali.. Don't treat people based on their location. You tried this once also by creating one THREAD..:boxing
And i told u earlier itself that good and bad go hand in hand. Ache or bure log har jagah hote hai..

PS:- Kal tai to rajsthan me haande tha aaj UP me ja badya:rock
No offence :)

tomarhitesh23
November 19th, 2009, 09:44 AM
Dude! Let me clarify you one thing. I never accepted ur term "junglipan" for Haryana people. You commented on our behaviour by using this term. I just wanted to tell you that other people, when in conversation with us, always feel like if we are going to fight even when we try to be utmost polite. But you took it in other way.. :thappad

I was talking about our dialect there. We respect our dialect to the most, and others also. Same is with people. Kad aaiye mhare gaam kenya bhi. tane bera paat jaga kaun jyada respect karta hai.. Baki ib ya tane Raj thackery aali baat si kar di "yo tera er yu mera" aali.. Don't treat people based on their location. You tried this once also by creating one THREAD..:boxing
And i told u earlier itself that good and bad go hand in hand. Ache or bure log har jagah hote hai..

PS:- Kal tai to rajsthan me haande tha aaj UP me ja badya:rock
No offence :)

le chhore te to chhoo mann gaya..... maka ab datt ja jhakoi..... sare hain to JAT hi ... kush re...light le....


Kal tai to rajsthan me haande tha aaj UP me ja badya:rock
No offence :)



hahahahahhaha.......sab apna hi hai bhai...... tu agar khush rahe to HARYANA likhdun.....:rock:rock

VirJ
November 19th, 2009, 10:46 AM
hahahahahhaha.......sab apna hi hai bhai...... tu agar khush rahe to HARYANA likhdun.....:rock:rock

Pakistan likhde har band kar is teri ramayan ne ib

deepshi
November 19th, 2009, 05:41 PM
how you for example immediately took for granted an Indian living/working in Aussie-land ‘loves’ Americans (another pre-conceived generalization of all things termed West , and as some would say...just for the heck of it) is beyond me and unfortunately also sorta proves your statement for the ‘NRI’s’ otherwise!]

Cheers!!! :rolleyes:
N pity he didnt even know me..not that he had to..I would rather not..
never bumped into him,not that i remember ,but picking on some1 at random is NOT SO ON!

tomarhitesh23
November 19th, 2009, 06:00 PM
Pakistan likhde har band kar is teri ramayan ne ib

Pakistan likhne walle ..... ramayan nahi bolte.... :rock:rock dosh tera nahi hai........ :rock:rock koi na seekh jaga ...dhire dhire... time lagega...:rock:rock

deepshi
November 19th, 2009, 06:08 PM
Allrite to clear the cobwebs..some instances (well, there are numerous, so cant recall all )
-Catching a train, running horrendously late,,if I miss this train, m doomed. A 10 yearish Anglo kid saw me rushin, put his foot on the doorway,holds the whole train for a full minute, doors beeping.. I manage to enter,,,the kid smiling looking down talkin to hid frnd..
no thanks,,no acknowledgements..

- A cust. at work, he seemed to have pissed himself off with something, and after talkin to an Indian guy.. ...escalates to the Anglo Lady manager..and he says "atleast now Ive got someone who speaks English" .She is outraged at his irrationality and after a long conversation when he is done..she enters and squeals "Racist Pig" visibly flummuxed, angered and horrrified.

-Just arrived at Melbourne Airport from India..the long tiring flight drained me, missing my people already, proceeding to the checkout, Anglo guy behind the counter perks up, looks at my Passport n says enthusiatically "Oh..so uve been to India to celebrate ur birthday, huh?" Just a quick nice chat helped me rewind

-Went for an outing with colleagues,it was a Shooting Range,,bein a cold day,and havin got up early, i wasnt too much in mood to do anything, so mostly tried to miss my turn. when the last round was left,and it was the real bullets or sumthin that was really exciting (Not that I was paying attention), there is a ruckus..everyone trying to get hold of the pistol and me standing in a corner (cold and sulking) , a girl picks up the pistol and about to start,one of the Anglo guys suddenly shouts and points to me "No Shika, you go.."...
(ohh..bugger..not me.. lolz)

-Sitting in a late night tram, a drunk burly man sat beside me,, me visibly bothered,li'l scared and concerned(not that he misbehaved, but lookin like a maniac)..another Anglo man lookin strong enuf sits across me..I get down at my stop, so does he,waving gd nite..I asked never saw u gettin down at this stop..he answers..no it was the previous one..
go figure...!

cooljat
November 19th, 2009, 06:18 PM
.

Words of wisdom Akshay. I concur with your thought here. Self respect is arguably the most imp thing, if you respect urself n' remain honest with urslef .. positive vibes will spread around and automatically ppl feel comfortable in ur zone. Respect is always earned, n' it should be deep with-in .. paying respect by fancy words is not enough.


Rock on
Jit



After reading three pages of experiance exchanges between fellow member living happily in various corners of world, I would prefer self- respect prior to respect. We live closely and comes in each other way and there i think we loose some respect for each other.
Many cultures have different ways of giving respect but self respect is person's own and can not be taken away from him. If you want to be respected by others the one thing is to respect yourself. Only by that, only by self-respect will you compel others to respect you.

deepshi
November 19th, 2009, 06:19 PM
these were just some random incidents...

Now..on Their part..

-They are apprehensive bout the loud chant "Aussie Aussie Aussie oyi oyi oyi " which usually shouted during sports
They now shun this, have mostly banned this, not to offend other natioanlities

-Last year there were rumours and objections for singing Christmas carols in Public places..coz it may..yes again..offend other nationalities..

-Southern cross tattoo or any such nationalistic acts are just not encouraged

-When there were attacks on taxi drivers (mostly by other minorities, not the Aussies), there was a widespread condemnation, on numerous blogs and newspapers..

Alrite,,,they are faking it all...but they must be really very good at it!

Orr kya jaan logey inki..haha..jee leney do inhey!

cooljat
November 19th, 2009, 06:30 PM
.

Good sharing Deepshi, I've big frens circle over there in Oz n' no one of them accepting the racist crap, they all said me that it's kinda series of random incidents which happen everywhere but these bloody media hyping n' spreading panic in vain.


I got one msg for all moral police here who is going insane over Aussies. One should look into his sleeves before blaming others, in my opinion we (Indians) are the biggest racist in the world, for example - ages old cast system, denoting north-east ppl as chinkies, south-indians as madrasi n black ppl as nigros, kaaliya etc ... and what about the ba$tard Thakrey n company who goin gaga over ' Marathi Manus' n all that bull-crap. Isn't it racism ? I think its more than Racism .. its Anti-Indian thing. :mad:


Good n' Bad is everywhere, its up to u what u remember good ppl n' good memories or the alternate one.


Cheers!
these were just some random incidents...

Now..on Their part..

-They are apprehensive bout the loud chant "Aussie Aussie Aussie oyi oyi oyi " which usually shouted during sports
They now shun this, have mostly banned this, not to offend other natioanlities

-Last year there were rumours and objections for singing Christmas carols in Public places..coz it may..yes again..offend other nationalities..

-Southern cross tattoo or any such nationalistic acts are just not encouraged

-When there were attacks on taxi drivers (mostly by other minorities, not the Aussies), there was a widespread condemnation, on numerous blogs and newspapers..

Alrite,,,they are faking it all...but they must be really very good at it!

Orr kya jaan logey inki..haha..jee leney do inhey!

anilsinghd
November 19th, 2009, 06:30 PM
Indian culture- what is that? If it is so strong why do they celebrate foreign festivals, burn brides?
Lord Krishna - a playboy!
Does education make a person - don't think so. I have seen educated Indian(jats) behaving despicably.
Same for ladies.
Indian culture? a mixture of traditions brought to India by various invaders.
Indian values - what are those? When Indians see other Indians in the west they behave contemptuously. Most likely true anywhere you go be it New York, London or Moscow. So much for Indian values.
Oldest racist system in the world - Indian caste system.
Light skin is preferred over black skin.


You are confused , its either the Lord or the playboy!

Dont choose both!


This is not out of any emotions but frankly the most apt answer to your post is this:

Unan-Misr-Roma,Sab mit gaye jahan se;
Lekin ab bhi hai baaki nam-o-nishaan hamara;
Kuch baat hai ki hasti mitati nahi hamari;
jo ki raha hai dushman daur-e-jahan hamara.


Ohh wait , below is the english of the same , to help you out , just in case!

This couplet literaly means that civilisation of Egypt, Greece and Rome didnt survive but we did. There is something that keeps us moving. This is a signal to all powers that want to see our motherland divided.
Today, on behalf of every one at Bewajah, I pay my homage to those who lost their lives in yesterday's blasts in Srinagar and Mumbai. We really feel that only showing sympathy is not enough. We hope we can bring some peace in world by changing ourself and our surroundings.

================================================== =

totally sick and tired of these negative venom pouring folks , stop worrying about us dudes , none of your business and concerns!

shailendra
November 19th, 2009, 09:15 PM
:confused: Why such a big explaination?

Also you said there are a few radical cleric on this site?? When, where, How many?? and you said "(sometimes one really doesn’t know what they are having for breakfast back there…)". Can't understand? Back there. Where?? Sorry Poor english!!

Lastly, your joke about migrants or immigrants for you " Isn't this a pure generalisation" by western people. Just few lines above you were asking him not to generalise and here you youself generalised all immigrants?????

I am just trying to understand both's point of views.

Aer Kyun na? ...Kyalein Begaane ki shaddi mein abdul banya deenwana hon laag rhya!!!...

Bhains 'west' mein ja gam gee kae, jukar 'understand both's point of view' zururt padgee? let the 'both's':rolleyes: sort it out themselves... baefazool beech mein poonchdee si mannya bala...

annch
November 19th, 2009, 10:56 PM
http://www.jatland.com/forums/images/icons/icon14.gif.....do i have to say the words!!!


Unan-Misr-Roma,Sab mit gaye jahan se;
Lekin ab bhi hai baaki nam-o-nishaan hamara;
Kuch baat hai ki hasti mitati nahi hamari;
jo ki raha hai dushman daur-e-jahan hamara.


Ohh wait , below is the english of the same , to help you out , just in case!

This couplet literaly means that civilisation of Egypt, Greece and Rome didnt survive but we did. There is something that keeps us moving. This is a signal to all powers that want to see our motherland divided.
Today, on behalf of every one at Bewajah, I pay my homage to those who lost their lives in yesterday's blasts in Srinagar and Mumbai. We really feel that only showing sympathy is not enough. We hope we can bring some peace in world by changing ourself and our surroundings.

================================================== =

totally sick and tired of these negative venom pouring folks , stop worrying about us dudes , none of your business and concerns!

VirJ
November 20th, 2009, 03:41 AM
Aer Kyun na? ...Kyalein Begaane ki shaddi mein abdul banya deenwana hon laag rhya!!!...

Bhains 'west' mein ja gam gee kae, jukar 'understand both's point of view' zururt padgee? let the 'both's':rolleyes: sort it out themselves... baefazool beech mein poonchdee si mannya bala...

Naraj kyon ho raha he bhai re bol-batla ke tem sa pass kar lan han yar kave to delete mar dun merli post par---

Bhai meri samaj kati nahi aaya ye upar kaya likh diya tune. Dono sort out kar lo par y u commenting on the other people than like radicals on this site,mods, immigrants etc ?

Better just keep it to urself and discuss through private mess not on public discussion forum otherwise people would jump in like u jumped in earlier!!!!



Ramram

deepshi
November 20th, 2009, 06:26 PM
rewind[/COLOR]


oops...ma bad!
meant unwind..
Grammer Nazis

rajesh00
November 20th, 2009, 07:52 PM
Respect is an act of showing regard, consideration or appreciation for someone.

In Indian culture, from the moment a child is born, he/she is taught how to show respect to people, through several ways such as actions like saying namaste while holding hands together and bowing the head and words such as adding 'ji' after the title used to address the person and 'aap'. Using the first name of the person only would be considered sacrilege. But are the children actually taught to respect and not just show respect? Do most of the adolescents, young adults, adults and elderly in Haryana really respect and not just show respect to people around them?

I included the adults and elderly because respect must be mutual. For example, an elderly man of 65 years should also respect the thoughts and opinions of his son/daughter-in-law who is 40 years old. This respect can be shown by listening and acknowledging their thoughts/ feelings without enforcing his own. At the same time, the 40 year old must also show respect to the elderly. Just because they may be weak physically or need help and support, they shouldn't be written off.

A key indication of disrespect is aggression and violence. Whether it is in speech or action. Indians usually are quick to anger, quick to take offence and very quick to react. Often, the more subtle signs are in behaviour towards servants, drivers, employees, relatives or general public. Other ways that are an accepted part of life are such as by picking on someone based on their physical characteristics. Disrespect can often lead people to participate from incidents such as eve-teasing to grave incidents such as robbery, kidnapping, murders.

One of the biggest differences I have noticed in Australian and English culture is really respecting people rather than just showing respect. In Australia/ England, people use first names without any pre/post salutation. There is little point of the latter if one doesn't mean it. If you even used the word 'fat' to describe someone, people would be horrified. You are expected to use kinder words such as 'big'. When looking for a relationship/ spouse, above all, people try and find partners with compatible personalities (not measurable physical characteristics). People never pick on anyone. Actions such as eve-teasing are considered forms of harassment. Slapping or punching someone can even get you arrested and is a punishable offence.

I am not saying their cultures are perfect but there are certain points that can be appreciated and we can attempt to include them in our culture. Instead of practicing 'showing respect', perhaps we can also ensure that we sincerely respect those around us and teach our offsprings to do the same, for they will be the adults of tomorrow.

What are your thoughts?



Andhhon ke aage biin bajanne ka koi fayda nahin aakanksha.

Dheeraj24
November 20th, 2009, 07:57 PM
Andhhon ke aage biin bajanne ka koi fayda nahin aakanksha.

Behre hone ka darr hai kya

rajesh00
November 20th, 2009, 08:00 PM
Behre hone ka darr hai kya



U think about it.

VirJ
November 21st, 2009, 05:21 AM
oops...ma bad!
meant unwind..
Grammer Nazis


My little brain didn't get ur point. Could u explain please?

amans
November 23rd, 2009, 05:26 AM
You are confused , its either the Lord or the playboy!

Dont choose both!


This is not out of any emotions but frankly the most apt answer to your post is this:

Unan-Misr-Roma,Sab mit gaye jahan se;
Lekin ab bhi hai baaki nam-o-nishaan hamara;
Kuch baat hai ki hasti mitati nahi hamari;
jo ki raha hai dushman daur-e-jahan hamara.


Ohh wait , below is the english of the same , to help you out , just in case!

This couplet literaly means that civilisation of Egypt, Greece and Rome didnt survive but we did. There is something that keeps us moving. This is a signal to all powers that want to see our motherland divided.
Today, on behalf of every one at Bewajah, I pay my homage to those who lost their lives in yesterday's blasts in Srinagar and Mumbai. We really feel that only showing sympathy is not enough. We hope we can bring some peace in world by changing ourself and our surroundings.

================================================== =

totally sick and tired of these negative venom pouring folks , stop worrying about us dudes , none of your business and concerns!

Empty talk not supported by facts of history. From 712 ad hindu Sind became an arab province, Then ruled by turks, afghans,and other muslims, from 1192-1947 ad, no hindu ruled over Delhi. 1/3rd of what was India is pakistan and bangladesh.
Is hindu culture? - is it worshipping dravidian god of the indus valley people? like shiva? or the light skin aryan gods like vishnu/brahma?
Krishna - shown always in a black skin most likely a dravidian - no historical proof of existence.
A society divided by color of skin based - skin color classification by light skin supposedly aryan brahmins.
Now now who will gladly want to be a shudra? and would happily want to have himself and his descendants clean the toilets forever?
So much for the "greatness" of culture.
A culture that kept the majority of its people down? Is it a great culture?
Indian history - a continuous series of defeats throughout history and invaders pouring in and in. Indian culture(?) survived because it absorbed those invaders as it could not beat them. There is nothing great about this. What survived is result of pure luck of geography not due to bravery shown in any of the battles. I bet any Roman, Egyptian or Greek armies would have taken out any Indian army of those times. Egyptians, Romans and Greeks contributed more to the World then Indians.

deepshi
July 14th, 2010, 05:45 PM
http://www.heraldsun.com.au/opinion/control-our/comments-e6frfhqf-1225891357299

...calling a spade a spade..
this Bolta guy is cool..or plain crazy not be overly politically correct n mince words..

narendersingh
October 23rd, 2010, 11:00 PM
Respect comes from our heart.
It's not available in mart.
Can't get it in cart
RE Spect is respect