Psychological and cognitive aspects of Honour Killing

[Samarkadian]

Mountains of posts has been written about social aspects of honour killing. Media, social activists,politicians, have washed their wise faces with the sewerage out flow of honour killing and undoubtly will be cashing it in future without really understanding the pathology of this instictive act. But my dear friends, truth is irrelevant to the entertainment value which such incidents brings to the table. Blame game circus is on and entertaining the nation in the form of breaking news, affront articles majorly by the gripping the wrong end of stick.

In this thread we will be discussing the Psychological and Cognitive aspects of honour killing.

To start with the following points , I invite members to put their views, only on psychological aspects of killing and related happenings.

1. Honour - How is it percieved by a human being ? How much is it important for a society, human interaction.?
1.1 How and what a couple in same gotra marriage violates the honour of the family first and surrounding society and community secondaly?
1.2 Are Love and honour related Or Mutually exclusive to each other?
1.3 Honour and ego are percieved as same emotions?
1.4 What goes in the psyche of such couple? How they conquer or give up to the confusion arising from the oddeity of their situation?
1.5 Do the same gotra married couple if not killed , live a normal societal life? How much is it easy and hard mentally? What if after marriage , at any point they realize that it is wrong and then how would would correct it? Would family accept them?
1.6 What about the identity of their kids? How and what would they tell them when such kids grow up and found themselves odd.? Would they be normal?

2. When such odd incident happens with a normal family. Initially how they percieve it?
2.1 What provokes them to take any kind of step for it. Against or in favour?
2.2 If against, in most cases, why the killing is the ultimate step by the said family?
2.3 Why the family of female is more aggressive? What goes in their mind?
2.4 What do they think , feel after the killing? Do they regret? Are they satisfied?
2.5 This is immoral but morality and honour are the same thing technically?


You may examplify through excerpts of interviews from both sides.

[mukeshkumar007]

It is only the Psychological reasons that lead to such a heinous act of honor killing. There is a word called “Compromise” Generally we all compromise with many things in day to day life but still there remains few things in everyone’s life (if the one carry some ethics) where he/she hardly compromise.

In our society it is the self pride and dignity where we don’t want to compromise at any cost. Whenever there happens anything which hurt the self pride we generally tend to act violently/irrationally or have some serious adverse effect on the person.

Let me share an example here.. I know one person in our village, who later shifted to city. The man was very ethical and fond of rural customs but slowly tried to change himself towards confused modernity. Her daughter after completing the graduation told him that she wanted to pursue MBA from Mumbai. He told her that there are many good colleges in Jaipur itself so what was the need of going to Mumbai, but she insisted that her one another friend was also going. Here he again tried to be modern (though he was not) and sent her daughter to Mumbai. After 2 years of study she told him that she had to stay here for one more year due to some xx reasons and when she returned after 3 years she came with his husband (as she married there with a guy without informing her parents). And it came as a great shock to him and he couldn’t digest it and died. His self pride was hurt deeply and he couldn’t bear it and had to pay the cost of it in loss of his life.

So in my point, in the case of honor killing it is the self pride which when come on stake force the person to take such violent steps. The fear of being humiliated by other people, fear of being accused of not being a good parents in imparting cultural education to their child are the few things which finally lead a person to take irrational steps. People are really very confused today, they are brought in a different environment, but they are put in different one. We are taught to be idealistic but at the same time we are expected to be diplomatic or so called open-minded. It generated clashes of view within the mind thereby hardly leaving any space for clarify of thoughts and this in return builds a society of fully confused personalities. And these confused personalities lead to many social problems as they could never form a general and practical consensus on a social issue.

If one is following the idealistic approach then he might be accused of being traditional/impractical or on other side if he is trying to be modern then he might be accused of running away from traditions. These people also don’t have any teaching to impart in their kids as whatever they teaches it remains highly contradictory to their acts.

[anilsinghd]

truth is irrelevant to the entertainment value






Very interesting topic Samar and really some very good points by Mukesh.

You probably hit the crux itself when you say truth is irrelevant in the entertainment value such things bring. We have discussed at length on the role of Media and the "senstisation" they do which is uncalled for.

Anyways, lets get to the topic.
I will not try to impose my views of what's right and wrong here as you only ask about the psychological and cognitive aspects. I would also be objective and try to answer your questions only in my first attempt.


Q :

1. Honour - How is it percieved by a human being ? How much is it important for a society, human interaction.?

A:

Let's talk of the honour , I would say per Maslow this is one of the higher level of human needs (self esteem needs , level 4) , so when this is in danger people generally tend to react. Also important to understand is that the context we are talking , this is primarily how others look at "us". So honour is how the society thinks of us. It is important to the extent it motivates us to do more good things.

Q:
1.1 How and what a couple in same gotra marriage violates the honour of the family first and surrounding society and community secondaly?

A:
Probably the point which should go a long way in understanding the same gotra and honour killing problem and a solution for the same as well. I personally do not believe that the "karma" or "actions" of the children has to do a lot with those of the parents. One can potentially argue that it is the upbringing by the parents that goes a long way in defining the behaviour (classical behaviourists). Have we not seen two brothers having totally different intelligent levels? Is it not common for two siblings to be different in their mindset, thinking etc?
So to sue the parents if one of the children has done an act like same gotra marriage is probably stretching it a bit too far. To take it as a disgrace to the whole community is purely nonsensical (extend the family argument to the community and the impact/relation of the act to the community becomes even more vague!).



Q:

1.2 Are Love and honour related Or Mutually exclusive to each other?

A:

Did not get the question.


Q:

1.3 Honour and ego are percieved as same emotions?

A: To the extent that clogs the mind of the folks involved and it accentuates the outcomes, yes.


Q:

1.4 What goes in the psyche of such couple? How they conquer or give up to the confusion arising from the oddeity of their situation?

A:

Again , this is something that is forced upon the couple from the society and the success/failure of such a marriage is affected by what reaction the society generates. Of course the couple does not live normal conditions and feels extra pressure to carrry on or to get away. Hard to assess the actual impact , and it might vary on case to case , in some cases it might strengthen the resolve of the couple , in some cases it might allow for a cause to be separated easily.


Q:

1.5 Do the same gotra married couple if not killed , live a normal societal life? How much is it easy and hard mentally? What if after marriage , at any point they realize that it is wrong and then how would would correct it? Would family accept them?

A:

All hypothesis to be tested over time. Actual outcome might vary from case to case. I would hypothesise that the couple does live in stressed conditions for some time and then when the society forgets they may reverse to a normal life but the initial conditions to start a life might be plagued enough to cause irreversible collateral damage. I would say it is very difficult mentally to go through all this, the feeling of being done wrong might come as traumatic , probably that's the worse that can happen!

Q:

1.6 What about the identity of their kids? How and what would they tell them when such kids grow up and found themselves odd.? Would they be normal?


A:

20 years down the line scenario and probably not much of an impact there as time is a great heeler.


Q:

2. When such odd incident happens with a normal family. Initially how they percieve it?

A: Sheer shock probably , more so because of the fear of the society and the events to unfold.


Q:

2.1 What provokes them to take any kind of step for it. Against or in favour?

A:
I would assume that in most cases folks would just get around a solution , probably the worse being to detach the concerned couple from the family. But the media, khaps and the so called society leaders make the situations far worse. In some sense their sheer fear imposes upon the parents of what they should do!

Q:
2.2 If against, in most cases, why the killing is the ultimate step by the said family?

A: Societal pressure than anything else. Rare cases might also involve impulsive reactions.

Q:

2.3 Why the family of female is more aggressive? What goes in their mind?

A :

Not sure why. Probably we are still in the male dominated era and while the mistake from boy child is pardonable , the same from a girl child is grave sin.

Q:

2.4 What do they think , feel after the killing? Do they regret? Are they satisfied?

A:

Remorse and a long lasting one is my best bet!


Q:
2.5 This is immoral but morality and honour are the same thing technically?

A: Did not get your question.

[Samarkadian]

Found this interesting study on the thread subject.

================================================== =======
Honor and Disorder
The Circumscription of Women’s Sexuality in India

INTRODUCTION 2
CHAPTER 1: HEGEMONY OF THE HONOR DISCOURSE 5
CHAPTER 2:THE EPISTEMOLOGY OF CHAOS 15
CHAPTER3: SEXED BODIES BETWEEN AND BEYOND MODERN STATES AND TRADITIONAL SOCIETIES 25
CONCLUSION 33
REFERENCES 36




 
Introduction
On July 3, 2009, the Delhi High Court delivered a historical judgment that ruled that all adults had the right to choose their partners and that criminalizing of alternate sexualities was incompatible with the basic rights guaranteed to citizens under the Indian Constitution. According to the court order: “Section 377 IPC, where it “criminalized consensual sexual acts of adults in private”, violated fundamental rights to personal liberty (Article 21 of the Constitution) and equality (Article 14) and prohibition of discrimination (Article 15).” (Mitta & Singh, 2009) It was heralded, probably justly, as a watershed moment in Indian socio-political scene. Just a few weeks later a caste magnate in eastern Uttar Pradesh (UP), Mahendra Tikait, declared that “only whores choose their own partners”. (Arshad, 2009) Tikait was responding to a trend not very uncommon in eastern UP, Haryana and Punjab. Despite the threat of public disrepute and an imminent brutal death, many women are choosing their own partners. They, along with their partners, are often hunted down by the male members of their family, who have the backing of the community. In fact, the pressures of community and community leaders, who view this as an issue of caste honor, encourage family members to pursue these witch hunts.
Though the consequences are very unpleasant, popular perception is that more and more young women and men choose to face them rather than give up their notions of romantic love. While community elders view themselves as custodians of culture, they are actually devising new legal responses to an urgent situation. Jat (the landowning caste that virtually dominates the landscape in Haryana and parts of the neighboring states – Tikait belongs to this caste) leaders are presently trying to have their rules on marriage legalized so that the need for honor killings will not arise. A conglomerate of khap panchayats (caste councils or courts where women are not present or not allowed to speak) decided in September to “draw up a set of recommendations for making ‘suitable’ amendments to the Hindu Marriage Act (1955) at the state level so that their rulings become valid under law.” (Divya. A, 2009) Jat leaders have been seeking to dilute this progressive law since its very inception. Despite continuing failure, advocate Chander Singh Dalal complacently believes that a new bill will be passed unopposed and “once the amendments are brought in, there’ll be no place for dispute.” (IBID)
At a time when Indian laws seem ready to embrace alternate sexualities, Haryana and its neighboring states ironically seek legal measures to restrict heterosexual relationships. The post-colonial Indian State has come to embody these contradictions of the western liberal and traditional/conservative. Women in India in this framework can only choose the liberal discourse that stands for their rights over their familial and social associations. And yet, these liberal institutions have done little, if at all anything, to prevent crimes committed in the name of honor or even to bring the perpetrators to trial. Sections of Indian judiciary have been, until recently, one of the sites where women’s sexuality is delegitimized and agency is denied. In cases where women have assumed control over their bodies and exercised their constitutionally sanctioned rights with regard to sexuality the State, through the judiciary and law enforcement agencies, has subverted its own laws to assume familial and caste roles to restore status quo. (Chowdhry, 2004)
A woman who becomes aware of her rights over her body and seeks to overthrow the suffocating barriers placed on it ends up reinforcing the very structure that she rebelled against as death becomes the ultimate weapon in the hands of a snubbed masculinity to reinforce order, that is, male control over women’s bodies.
In this project, the State does not merely play a supportive role. The State is the family/caste, which had failed in protecting the boundaries around women’s bodies. In protecting family/caste honor, the State is protecting itself. But it would be misleading to assume that this state is a traditional one. The post-colonial Indian State was constructed, as we shall see later, as a masculine state where affirming the rights of male guardians over women’s bodies was considered a matter of national honor. The State was fashioned after western models even as the new nation upheld correct kinship ties and the orderly exchange of women. (Das, 2007) Hence, the issue at hand cannot be conceptualized in terms of a fundamental conflict between western laws and the traditional social structures. In this paper, I seek to unravel how these mythical boundaries between liberal India and these so-called traditional structures combine forces at certain points to place curbs on women’s sexuality, and also constantly confound the resolution of the issue. Circumscription of women’s sexuality takes place across the board even as India seems ready to permit a variety of sexual expressions. How do we explain this paradoxical situation? What role does the honor discourse play in this process, how is it disseminated?



Chapter 1: Hegemony of the Honor discourse
Kiran (name changed) has been told many times that she is very lucky. At 22, she has survived two near-death experiences and still going strong. "People say I am the only woman in Haryana to survive an 'honour killing' bid that succeeded in killing my husband. Women usually don't, though some men manage to. My family still regrets that I wasn't killed when it sent out hired goons to murder us," she says with a smile. (Srinivasan, 2007: 1)
When I met her two winters back she was completely confused regarding the future of the criminal trial lodged against her family members, including her father, and uncertain about her own continued survival. Even in her pathetic state her bodily presence made a bigger statement than any legal trial could hope for. She had observed astutely that her survival was a contrary to some preordained rule. In an early survey of court cases dealing with what she calls ‘runaway marriages’, Chowdhry notes that courts dealing with such cases (under charges of kidnapping, abduction and rape) condemn women who consent to a sexual relationship but punish her male partner. His crime is that he disrespected the rights of the woman’s male guardian, that is, he breached an unwritten code between men. These courts restore the male guardian his possession (the woman) but only after finding her guilty of an ‘illicit’ sexual relationship. (Chowdhry, 2004)
Chowdhry finds that courts selectively disbelieve the women – they essentially accept her claim (if she does make one) of choosing to be in a relationship in order to hold it illicit but refuse to accept her claim of being an adult. Hence, not being able to have a licit relationship (since any marriage is invalidated on grounds that she is a minor) and condemned for having an illicit one, Haryana courts create an identity of a woman habituated to sex. (Chowdhry, 2004) This is the reason why once restored, the position of these women becomes highly uncertain and can only end with the ‘elimination’ of the deviant body. According to Chowdhry, “taking such a step evokes only relief all around.” (Chowdhry, 2004: 84) Kiran merely reiterates this position when she says that her family still regrets her survival. The idea that a women’s body is the carrier of her male relatives’ honor finds reverberations in many countries and societies. In choosing her partner, a woman is consciously recovering her rights over her body and her family, community and, as Chowdhry’s survey shows, even the State (courts) is aware and threatened by this message. The State assumes familial and communal functions when it neglects its own laws to restore the guardian ‘his possession’ and in consequence his honor. But even if restored, the body stands for a disruption and makes everyone uncomfortable.
The position of a woman who been ‘restored’ can be understood in terms of Barbara Kristeva’s conception of the ‘abject’, quoted by Judith Butler. According to her, we understand the boundaries of our body through the distancing of that which has been expelled from it. “The ‘abject’ designates that which has been expelled from the body, discharged as excrement, literally rendered ‘Other’ … The construction of the ‘not-me’ as the abject establishes the boundaries of the body which are also the first contours of the subject.” (Butler, 1990: 133) When a woman separates herself from the strangehold of her male guardians’ control, she also denotes the boundaries of the body through her rupture.


For full reading of the text download word file from :-- http://www.google.co.in/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=khap%20panchayat%20foreign%20writers&source=web&cd=79&ved=0CGQQFjAIOEY&url=http%3A%2F%2Fdspace.nitle.org%2Fbitstream%2Fha ndle%2F10090%2F23302%2Fcapstone%2520project.docx%3 Fsequence%3D1&ei=x0EET7uFDdHOrQe5p_ToDw&usg=AFQjCNEFrD1k6T3T85ISmhiTHHWyZBi7cw

[Samarkadian]

Just giving this thread an another life for the sake of discussion and understanding.

Thanks.

[ritu]

After knowing your views n thinking about killings in rohtak so called honour killing who will dare to express his or her views here. Kyunki agar jis Kisi ki bhi soch aapki soch se alag hogi uski post ki angrezi k bade bade shabdo se dhajjiya uda di jaayegi.

[Samarkadian]

After knowing your views n thinking about killings in rohtak so called honour killing who will dare to express his or her views here. Kyunki agar jis Kisi ki bhi soch aapki soch se alag hogi uski post ki angrezi k bade bade shabdo se dhajjiya uda di jaayegi.

Thanks......:)