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Shibani
November 30th, 2010, 10:41 AM
I would like to know where do we see ourselves today as a community. What would you like to change about jat community and Why?:)

Also how far have our men come I am really interested to know how much freedom are you giving to your wives and daugters? How much understanding is there in terms of domestic chores. Do men see themselves working more or helping in the kitchen??????:)

The biggest question to all men specially do you still have to have a proper north indian meal which is roti everday no matter WHAT?:D

prashantacmet
November 30th, 2010, 11:23 AM
Freedom and working in the kitchen? I don't understand what women really want. Why they are so fed up with their daily chores. Leave apart working women, a typical house wife is doping nothing at home except "khaat todna" and " chatak-matak karna". house maids are hired for almost all daily chores in India, this may be different in foreign countries. Still they need help in kitchen. As far as freedom is concerned , If daughters want freedom to elope with some "erra-gairra nathhu khaira' putting family prestige on stake, It is "not" acceptable.

And yes, we want to eat "choon" three times in a day and we will not go in kitchen.............I am clear now?

Shibani
November 30th, 2010, 02:04 PM
Thanks Prashant ji,
Truly appreciate your honest response. Aap ne mera first question to answer hi nahin kiya......magar jitna kiya utna bahot hain. ho sake to plaese mere us sawal ka jawab bhi de jeeyaga.

Mujhe yeh nahin pata ki aapna kaun se expression se response kiya hain matlab gusse mein ya irritate hoke magar itna zaroor kahoongi ki aaj kaam se ghar tak ki driving bahot acchi ho gayi. Poore raste mein hasti rahi aapki choon wali aur chatak-matak expressions padh kar.

thanks again
Other jatland members please respond. The question are kind of important to me. When i will get enough response I will let everyone know why.

prashantacmet
November 30th, 2010, 03:11 PM
Thanks Prashant ji,
Truly appreciate your honest response. Aap ne mera first question to answer hi nahin kiya......magar jitna kiya utna bahot hain. ho sake to plaese mere us sawal ka jawab bhi de jeeyaga.

Mujhe yeh nahin pata ki aapna kaun se expression se response kiya hain matlab gusse mein ya irritate hoke magar itna zaroor kahoongi ki aaj kaam se ghar tak ki driving bahot acchi ho gayi. Poore raste mein hasti rahi aapki choon wali aur chatak-matak expressions padh kar.

thanks again
Other jatland members please respond. The question are kind of important to me. When i will get enough response I will let everyone know why.
Your first question need a brain storming session and I am not patient enough. Secondly, There was no anger, irritation or frustration. I was quite calm. :)
I don't know what did you catch from my post but at least you got some laugh. You can take my views conveying male chauvinism but it does not make any sense for a house wife asking help in the kitchen from her husband who has tolerated his ruthless boss entire day. If both are working, they *should* go together to finish daily chores.
Apparently it depends on you, what do you want. If you want "choon" three times in a day and steamrolled by your wife , never marry a "working woman". If a house wife deprive his husband of "choon", he is another victim stung by "women freedom" and "egalitarian" agenda and that woman will go long for exploiting the "freedom".

ravinderjeet
November 30th, 2010, 03:12 PM
सिबानी जी ,यो प्रशांत निरा "चुन फूंकन का धुतु" स | इन्हें कोए ढाबे आला भी खाणा कोणी खुवाया करे |मन्ने कुछ काम बंडे सें लोग एर लुगाई के ,आप के पसंद आवीं तो बताइयो | इस तरां दोनु आपना सुखी संसार बना सकें सें | अतिश्योक्ति हो गी हो तो माफ़ कर दियो |

लोग -------------------------------------------------------------------लुगाई
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
कमावे -------------------------------------------------------------खर्च करावे
बालक खलावे -----------------------------------------------------पैदा करे
बालकां के लत्ते बदलने --------------------------------------------खाना खूवाना
गाडी चलावे -------------------------------------------------------बैठ कें जावे
सब्जी खरीद के लावे --------------------------------------------धो के बनावे
रोटी खावे --------------------------------------------------------खाना बनावे
भांडे धोवे --------------------------------------------------------पुन्झ के धर देवे
सामान ठाये हंडे ------------------------------------------------दूकान आल्याँ ने पिस्से बंडे
गाली खावे -----------------------------------------------------गाली देवे
थेगली लावे ----------------------------------------------------रोज नए सूंट सिमावे
दाढ़ी बधावे ------------------------------------------------------रोज ब्यूटी पारलर जावे
माबाप खातर ईद का चाँद --------------------------------------सारी हान पीहर लेजावे
पत्नी ने हूर बतावे ----------------------------------------------नोकर समझ के गेल हंडआवे
बालकां नु रोज पढावे -------------------------------------------आपना दिमाग बतावे
रोज काम पे जावे ----------------------------------------------ऐ .सी . चला कें सो जावे
डरदा-२ घरां आवे ----------------------------------------------तेरी गेल बियाह करवा के कर्म फूट्गे बतावे

फेर भी गृहस्थी की गाडी चालीं जावे ,
लुगाई पाड़ कें आवे ,
लोग नीची नाड़ करें लाखावे,
नु कह तेरे बालकां की मारी रुकगी,
ना तो तलाक दे बगावे |

prashantacmet
November 30th, 2010, 03:16 PM
सिबानी जी ,यो प्रशांत निरा "चुन फूंकन का धुतु" स | इन्हें कोए ढाबे आला भी खाणा कोणी खुवाया करे |मन्ने कुछ काम बंडे सें लोग एर लुगाई के ,आप के पसंद आवीं तो बताइयो | इस तरां दोनु आपना सुखी संसार बना सकें सें | अतिश्योक्ति हो गी हो तो माफ़ कर दियो |

लोग लुगाई
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
कमावे खर्च करावे
बालक खलावे पैदा करे
बालकां के लत्ते बदलने खाना खूवाना
गाडी चलावे बैठ कें जावे
सब्जी खरीद के लावे धो के बनावे
रोटी खावे खाना बनावे
भांडे धोवे पुन्झ के धर देवे
सामान ठाये हंडे दूकान आल्याँ ने पिस्से बंडे
गाली खावे गाली देवे
थेगली लावे रोज नए सूंट सिमावे
दाढ़ी बधावे रोज ब्यूटी पारलर जावे
माबाप खातर ईद का चाँद सारी हान पीहर लेजावे
पत्नी ने हूर बतावे नोकर समझ के गेल हंडआवे
बालकां नु रोज पढावे आपना दिमाग बतावे
रोज काम पे जावे ऐ .सी . चला कें सो जावे
डरदा-२ घरां आवे तेरी गेल बियाह करवा के कर्म फूट्गे बतावे

फेर भी गृहस्थी की गाडी चालीं जावे ,
लुगाई पाड़ कें आवे ,
लोग नीची नाड़ करें लाखावे,
नु कह तेरे बालकां की मारी रुकगी,
ना तो तलाक दे बगावे |
hahhaha........bahut badhiya ravinder bhai

vicky84
November 30th, 2010, 04:24 PM
सिबानी जी ,यो प्रशांत निरा "चुन फूंकन का धुतु" स | इन्हें कोए ढाबे आला भी खाणा कोणी खुवाया करे |मन्ने कुछ काम बंडे सें लोग एर लुगाई के ,आप के पसंद आवीं तो बताइयो | इस तरां दोनु आपना सुखी संसार बना सकें सें | अतिश्योक्ति हो गी हो तो माफ़ कर दियो |

लोग -------------------------------------------------------------------लुगाई
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
कमावे -------------------------------------------------------------खर्च करावे
बालक खलावे -----------------------------------------------------पैदा करे
बालकां के लत्ते बदलने --------------------------------------------खाना खूवाना
गाडी चलावे -------------------------------------------------------बैठ कें जावे
सब्जी खरीद के लावे --------------------------------------------धो के बनावे
रोटी खावे --------------------------------------------------------खाना बनावे
भांडे धोवे --------------------------------------------------------पुन्झ के धर देवे
सामान ठाये हंडे ------------------------------------------------दूकान आल्याँ ने पिस्से बंडे
गाली खावे -----------------------------------------------------गाली देवे
थेगली लावे ----------------------------------------------------रोज नए सूंट सिमावे
दाढ़ी बधावे ------------------------------------------------------रोज ब्यूटी पारलर जावे
माबाप खातर ईद का चाँद --------------------------------------सारी हान पीहर लेजावे
पत्नी ने हूर बतावे ----------------------------------------------नोकर समझ के गेल हंडआवे
बालकां नु रोज पढावे -------------------------------------------आपना दिमाग बतावे
रोज काम पे जावे ----------------------------------------------ऐ .सी . चला कें सो जावे
डरदा-२ घरां आवे ----------------------------------------------तेरी गेल बियाह करवा के कर्म फूट्गे बतावे

फेर भी गृहस्थी की गाडी चालीं जावे ,
लुगाई पाड़ कें आवे ,
लोग नीची नाड़ करें लाखावे,
नु कह तेरे बालकां की मारी रुकगी,
ना तो तलाक दे बगावे |

hahahaha...Good one bhai Ravinder.. :)

akshaymalik84
November 30th, 2010, 04:27 PM
If a lady can not cook north indian food (Saag and Roti) daily,
Q - why can't men eat pizza and burgers for a change?
C - Its men's incompetency in understanding domestic chores.

If a lady could not do what she want because she was told not to do so by parents or husband,
Q - Why dont men understand that everyone is equal and should have equal freedom?
C - Men belongs to old school they can not adjust with a CONSTANT called CHANGE.

If a lady think about the increasing modernisation these days,

Q - Why not JATs changing with time, Why do they keep resisting women evolution?
C - Men feel unsecure about women success.

singhvp
November 30th, 2010, 07:58 PM
I would like to know where do we see ourselves today as a community. What would you like to change about jat community and Why?:)

Also how far have our men come I am really interested to know how much freedom are you giving to your wives and daugters? How much understanding is there in terms of domestic chores. Do men see themselves working more or helping in the kitchen??????:)

The biggest question to all men specially do you still have to have a proper north indian meal which is roti everday no matter WHAT?:D

We are progressing fast as a community in all spheres of life but there should be no place for complacency. Education and employment opportunities for women need to be put on a faster trajectory to enable them to be self-reliant and assertive. Since centuries they have been an object of suppression, exploitation and victims of gender bias.

Though women are now enjoying considerable freedom in certain fields viz. getting education in the area of their interest and accepting befitting employment, majority of them are still deprived of their natural rights of equality. For example, when it comes to selection of life partner, there are very few who are lucky enough to be able to choose the hunks of their dreams. Of late, worth of daughters is being realized in wake of skewed sex ratio (especially in Haryana) and also for the reason that many ‘respected’ Jat families are constrained to import a duty-paid “hybrid Bahu” from across the State borders. Mindset is changing – albeit at a snail’s pace.

Our men-folk have been making strides to make up the deficiency inherited by most of them due to lack of resources and quality education at elementary level in rural areas inhabited by them. Our young and dynamic boys and girls have made their presence felt throughout India and abroad, especially in the fields of IT and management. I was surprised to see lot of luminaries on this website. (Before coming to this site I was not carrying a good impression about education among Jats but soon I was amazed to find many highly educated and bright chaps here whom we can feel proud of.)

Coming to the subject of “choon”, I would simply say that “Roti” to Jat is what Dosa to a South Indian. But, food habits of our children have morphed into cosmopolitan diet. The new generation is not very rigid about the dietary regime. For example my son never adheres to the table schedule. I have seen him having his breakfast (corn flakes) at 3 pm, lunch (bread & butter/cheese sandwich) at midnight and dinner (baked beans with fried potato/French fries) next morning 11am. So the point here is that we can change our conservative food habits with our will power to give some relief to our wives/women folk and to let them have a field day at regular intervals. We can help them in kitchen also, there is no harm and I am sure our “Mardangi” will not get compromised by doing so. Individually, I never feel ashamed to do so, though I am hardly allowed to do so. Given the opportunity, I would enjoy doing this philanthropy.

Finally, your question whether we take roti everyday:

My answer is no. We have so many alternatives viz. Pizza (Italian Chatni Roti), Khichdi, Daliya, Rice, Bread, Spaghetti, Pasta (Italian Daliya) etc. Ideally, one should keep rotating one’s dishes and should not stick to just one dish (tikkad). Apart from being salutary to our health, this changeover will also inculcate in us a sense of modernity.

ravinderjeet
December 1st, 2010, 12:39 AM
We are progressing fast as a community in all spheres of life but there should be no place for complacency. Education and employment opportunities for women need to be put on a faster trajectory to enable them to be self-reliant and assertive. Since centuries they have been an object of suppression, exploitation and victims of gender bias.

Though women are now enjoying considerable freedom in certain fields viz. getting education in the area of their interest and accepting befitting employment, majority of them are still deprived of their natural rights of equality. For example, when it comes to selection of life partner, there are very few who are lucky enough to be able to choose the hunks of their dreams. Of late, worth of daughters is being realized in wake of skewed sex ratio (especially in Haryana) and also for the reason that many ‘respected’ Jat families are constrained to import a duty-paid “hybrid Bahu” from across the State borders. Mindset is changing – albeit at a snail’s pace.

Our men-folk have been making strides to make up the deficiency inherited by most of them due to lack of resources and quality education at elementary level in rural areas inhabited by them. Our young and dynamic boys and girls have made their presence felt throughout India and abroad, especially in the fields of IT and management. I was surprised to see lot of luminaries on this website. (Before coming to this site I was not carrying a good impression about education among Jats but soon I was amazed to find many highly educated and bright chaps here whom we can feel proud of.)

Coming to the subject of “choon”, I would simply say that “Roti” to Jat is what Dosa to a South Indian. But, food habits of our children have morphed into cosmopolitan diet. The new generation is not very rigid about the dietary regime. For example my son never adheres to the table schedule. I have seen him having his breakfast (corn flakes) at 3 pm, lunch (bread & butter/cheese sandwich) at midnight and dinner (baked beans with fried potato/French fries) next morning 11am. So the point here is that we can change our conservative food habits with our will power to give some relief to our wives/women folk and to let them have a field day at regular intervals. We can help them in kitchen also, there is no harm and I am sure our “Mardangi” will not get compromised by doing so. Individually, I never feel ashamed to do so, though I am hardly allowed to do so. Given the opportunity, I would enjoy doing this philanthropy.

Finally, your question whether we take roti everyday:

My answer is no. We have so many alternatives viz. Pizza (Italian Chatni Roti), Khichdi, Daliya, Rice, Bread, Spaghetti, Pasta (Italian Daliya) etc. Ideally, one should keep rotating one’s dishes and should not stick to just one dish (tikkad). Apart from being salutary to our health, this changeover will also inculcate in us a sense of modernity.

It is so polite that rudeness must fails to work.

Shibani
December 1st, 2010, 07:03 AM
Thanks everyone,
The vibes I am getting from everyone’s response is at two folds for me : people living in India and outside India.
Vijay ji ..........if you would have been living in India with extended family would you still incorporate the same lifestyle as you have right now?????
For those of you who are in India..... seems like there is not much of a change at home. As Akshay ji mentioned that we don’t understand the domestic chores well I don’t have to say much it’s the ignorance on men’s part not incompetency.....

Our (Jat) girls and women have inbound characteristics which I believe make them respectful towards Jat traditions and culture. I am sure no women would bring shame to the family as mentioned by Prashant ji “elope with some "erra-gairra nathhu khaira' putting family prestige on stake, It is "not" acceptable”.
Akshay ji please don’t feel insecure about women and modernization.....women have always sacrificed for family and its prestige and would not hesitate to make compromises for the same. Have confidence and faith.............these two elements make people more responsible
Well my two cents to this argument.
(Before coming to this site I was not carrying a good impression about education among Jats but soon I was amazed to find many highly educated and bright chaps here whom we can feel proud of.)
I agree with you...........infact this new found change lead me to post the questions above. I am still awaiting more responses.
What I would like to see changing:
Well my answer in regards to what I would like to change in our culture is...........the amount of pressure on parents of married girls. Pehle shadi ka kharcha karo, phir har festival par, phir jabh baccha hota hain tabh and the story goes on.
I feel for the parents. Jitni bar damad ghar aaye usko maan do........I think maan dil se diya jaata hain magar humare yahan iska matlab kuch alag hi hain..............I know of very many families that are breaking this tradition and only accept Rs.1 in maan. Truly appreciate them.

Mere hisab se maa baap apne beti dete hain yahi aapne aap mein bahot badi baat hain uske aage koi expectation nahin honi chahiye............magar sirf galti maa baap ki nahin hain I know of very many girls who expect their parents to give them all the time.....GIRLS UR PARENTS BROUGHT U IN THIS WORLD, EDUCATED U ITS ABOUT TIME WE STOP ASKING FOR MORE.......I think ladkiyoon ka bahot bada haath hain in traditions ke aaj bhi hone ka...
Ravider ji thanks for adding humor to my post..............I was expecting this flavour as well in responses.

singhvp
December 1st, 2010, 08:06 AM
originally posted by Shibani

Vijay ji ..........if you would have been living in India with extended family would you still incorporate the same lifestyle as you have right now?????
Shibani ji, do in Rome as the Romans do. Whenever in India with extended family, obviously we have to slightly change ourselves. Jean and T-Shirt have to be substituted with Kurta Pyjama(gents) salwar kameez(ladies/girls), Pizza has to be replaced with chilli-garlic chutney and "Bazre ki Roti". The language, accent, hairstyle etc..... everything has to be modified according to the situation. But if you are talking about the food, certainly we have most of the options available in villages also. For example, Khichdi, Daliya, Curry-Rice, Pulao can easily be cooked as a substitute for Roti. In cities bread is easily available at affordable prices which can also be a substitute whenever we feel the urge of having sandwiches. Children of those jats who are living in cities have undergone a substantial change in their good habits. Though not good for health, even noodles (maggie)/fast food is getting popular rapidly among jat children living in towns.

@Ravinder Jit: Ravinder Bhai thank you for your comments.

Shibani
December 1st, 2010, 09:06 AM
Vijay ji,
Agreed Gen Y of Jats is definately not what Gen X has been. We are surely inculcating modern values and lifestyle in our kids.
I am seeking responses from Gen X. Also do as Romans do thats fine but not everything that romans do is correct therefore they need to get exposed to new ways of life.......keeping in my mind that it doesnt eradicate Roman culture totally.
On another not you missed H from my name.:)

singhvp
December 1st, 2010, 11:59 AM
Vijay ji,
Agreed Gen Y of Jats is definately not what Gen X has been. We are surely inculcating modern values and lifestyle in our kids.
I am seeking responses from Gen X. Also do as Romans do thats fine but not everything that romans do is correct therefore they need to get exposed to new ways of life.......keeping in my mind that it doesnt eradicate Roman culture totally.
On another not you missed H from my name.:)

You are right Shibani ji that everything that Romans do may not be correct but the saying is relevant to a great extent.
Sorry for omitting H in your name. Have since corrected.

Shibani
December 1st, 2010, 12:14 PM
You are right Shibani ji that everything that Romans do may not be correct but the saying is relevant to a great extent.
Sorry for omitting H in your name. Have since corrected.

Well okay Vijay ji......got ur point but there is a lot of room for debate. I am not convinced but I will accept ur view.
Thanks for the correction sounds good.

prashantacmet
December 1st, 2010, 12:42 PM
We are progressing fast as a community in all spheres of life but there should be no place for complacency. Education and employment opportunities for women need to be put on a faster trajectory to enable them to be self-reliant and assertive. Since centuries they have been an object of suppression, exploitation and victims of gender bias.

Though women are now enjoying considerable freedom in certain fields viz. getting education in the area of their interest and accepting befitting employment, majority of them are still deprived of their natural rights of equality. For example, when it comes to selection of life partner, there are very few who are lucky enough to be able to choose the hunks of their dreams. Of late, worth of daughters is being realized in wake of skewed sex ratio (especially in Haryana) and also for the reason that many ‘respected’ Jat families are constrained to import a duty-paid “hybrid Bahu” from across the State borders. Mindset is changing – albeit at a snail’s pace.

Our men-folk have been making strides to make up the deficiency inherited by most of them due to lack of resources and quality education at elementary level in rural areas inhabited by them. Our young and dynamic boys and girls have made their presence felt throughout India and abroad, especially in the fields of IT and management. I was surprised to see lot of luminaries on this website. (Before coming to this site I was not carrying a good impression about education among Jats but soon I was amazed to find many highly educated and bright chaps here whom we can feel proud of.)

Coming to the subject of “choon”, I would simply say that “Roti” to Jat is what Dosa to a South Indian. But, food habits of our children have morphed into cosmopolitan diet. The new generation is not very rigid about the dietary regime. For example my son never adheres to the table schedule. I have seen him having his breakfast (corn flakes) at 3 pm, lunch (bread & butter/cheese sandwich) at midnight and dinner (baked beans with fried potato/French fries) next morning 11am. So the point here is that we can change our conservative food habits with our will power to give some relief to our wives/women folk and to let them have a field day at regular intervals. We can help them in kitchen also, there is no harm and I am sure our “Mardangi” will not get compromised by doing so. Individually, I never feel ashamed to do so, though I am hardly allowed to do so. Given the opportunity, I would enjoy doing this philanthropy.

Finally, your question whether we take roti everyday:

My answer is no. We have so many alternatives viz. Pizza (Italian Chatni Roti), Khichdi, Daliya, Rice, Bread, Spaghetti, Pasta (Italian Daliya) etc. Ideally, one should keep rotating one’s dishes and should not stick to just one dish (tikkad). Apart from being salutary to our health, this changeover will also inculcate in us a sense of modernity.
VP singh ji...baat to aapki theek hai..par aapke bete ka khaane ka schedule samajh nahi aaya...dinner..11 baje subah..aapko usse samjhana chaiye ki bete roti time pe kha liya kar na to sehat kahrab ho jaayegi..how old he is?

prashantacmet
December 1st, 2010, 12:57 PM
I feel for the parents. Jitni bar damad ghar aaye usko maan do........I think maan dil se diya jaata hain magar humare yahan iska matlab kuch alag hi hain..............I know of very many families that are breaking this tradition and only accept Rs.1 in maan. Truly appreciate them.[/FONT][/COLOR]

Mere hisab se maa baap apne beti dete hain yahi aapne aap mein bahot badi baat hain uske aage koi expectation nahin honi chahiye............magar sirf galti maa baap ki nahin hain I know of very many girls who expect their parents to give them all the time.....GIRLS UR PARENTS BROUGHT U IN THIS WORLD, EDUCATED U ITS ABOUT TIME WE STOP ASKING FOR MORE.......I think ladkiyoon ka bahot bada haath hain in traditions ke aaj bhi hone ka...
Ravider ji thanks for adding humor to my post..............I was expecting this flavour as well in responses.

shibani ji...baat to aapki theek hai...par galti ek side se nahi hai......saas-sasur chahte hai ki bahu ghar main aate hi sara kaam kare jaldi uthe..sabki sewa kare..par unki beti doosre ke ghar jaake gaddi pe baith ja..saara kaam koi aur kar de..aapne aap jib dena pade beti ne to saas saur laalchi..arr jib aapni bahu leke na aawe to wa kameen ghara ki.......
doosri baat jo chorri aapne ghara sara din mheinsa ki poonch marode arr chauth ka tasla sir pe raake wa bhi saasu ke aake nu kahegi.."mujhse chai banani nahi aati..maine apne ghar kaam nahi kiya"
pehle beerbani tadki 4 bajje uthh ke chaaki chalaya karti..arr fer ghar ka bhi sara kaam karya karti..pregnancy main bhi kaam karya karti..balak theek thaak hoya karte uss jamane main jyadatar ke..aaj kaal aali..9 mheene lo daktar ke baithi rahe arr fer aakhir main pet padwa ke baith jaa..........to badal to sabhi kuch raha huin..kuch achaa aur kuch galat...
eib rahi baat change laawan ki..to everyone has to be changed...not only males ...aur jo baat VP singh ji ne kahi..ki ladkiyoun ko apna partner chunne ka chance nahi milta hamari community main..to wahi case ladko ke saath bhi hai...ladke bhi ghar aala ke hisaab kitaab tai byaah karte hai..arr nahi to bas yu sab chaal hi raha hai ..bhaajan bhajjan ka kamm........na isme ladke kam hai na ladki...

Shibani
December 1st, 2010, 01:31 PM
shibani ji...baat to aapki theek hai...par galti ek side se nahi hai......saas-sasur chahte hai ki bahu ghar main aate hi sara kaam kare jaldi uthe..sabki sewa kare..par unki beti doosre ke ghar jaake gaddi pe baith ja..saara kaam koi aur kar de..aapne aap jib dena pade beti ne to saas saur laalchi..arr jib aapni bahu leke na aawe to wa kameen ghara ki.......
doosri baat jo chorri aapne ghara sara din mheinsa ki poonch marode arr chauth ka tasla sir pe raake wa bhi saasu ke aake nu kahegi.."mujhse chai banani nahi aati..maine apne ghar kaam nahi kiya"
pehle beerbani tadki 4 bajje uthh ke chaaki chalaya karti..arr fer ghar ka bhi sara kaam karya karti..pregnancy main bhi kaam karya karti..balak theek thaak hoya karte uss jamane main jyadatar ke..aaj kaal aali..9 mheene lo daktar ke baithi rahe arr fer aakhir main pet padwa ke baith jaa..........to badal to sabhi kuch raha huin..kuch achaa aur kuch galat...
eib rahi baat change laawan ki..to everyone has to be changed...not only males ...aur jo baat VP singh ji ne kahi..ki ladkiyoun ko apna partner chunne ka chance nahi milta hamari community main..to wahi case ladko ke saath bhi hai...ladke bhi ghar aala ke hisaab kitaab tai byaah karte hai..arr nahi to bas yu sab chaal hi raha hai ..bhaajan bhajjan ka kamm........na isme ladke kam hai na ladki...


True Prashant ji.........yeh bhi to apni banayi hui problem hain....iska solution bahot simple hain.....parents have to make sure kids are responsible and independent......jo hamare samaj mein nahin hain....bacchoo ko saari umar baacha hi samjha jata hain

jakharanil
December 1st, 2010, 03:41 PM
Now times JAT are changing khati badi to govt\ services or business....

singhvp
December 1st, 2010, 04:03 PM
VP singh ji...baat to aapki theek hai..par aapke bete ka khaane ka schedule samajh nahi aaya...dinner..11 baje subah..aapko usse samjhana chaiye ki bete roti time pe kha liya kar na to sehat kahrab ho jaayegi..how old he is?
hahaha...Prashant gen next has its own perceptions about life-style. Let them have their own way and enjoy their life once they become adult (so he is.), unless it affects their health which is not the case. Perceptions keep changing with time and all of us have had our own way after attaining adulthood.
पंछियों को पिंजरों में कैद रखेंगे तो वे खुले आसमान में उड़ना कैसे सीखेंगे I और उस परिंदे (my son) को उड़ने का बहुत शौक है I (He has already co-piloted a single engine trainer jet in a London Flying Club simply by learning through computer simulation. I have posted some of his photographs while flying on my facebook account). He is already adult and an adventurous person, so I give him all liberties. The point here is if children are doing good without compromising dignity of the family and their own health, let them carve out their life style in their own way. No matter what they eat and what is their schedule.

prashantacmet
December 1st, 2010, 04:08 PM
hahaha...Prashant gen next has its own perceptions about life-style. Let them have their own way and enjoy their life once they become adult (so he is.), unless it affects their health which is not the case. Perceptions keep changing with time and all of us have had our own way after attaining adulthood.
पंछियों को पिंजरों में कैद रखेंगे तो वे खुले आसमान में उड़ना कैसे सीखेंगे I और उस परिंदे (my son) को उड़ने का बहुत शौक है I (He has already co-piloted a single engine trainer jet in a London Flying Club simply by learning through computer simulation. I have posted some of his photographs while flying on my facebook account). He is already adult and is an adventurous person, so I give him all liberties. The point is if children are doing good without compromising the dignity of the family and their own health, let them carve out their life style in their own way. No matter what they eat and what is their schedule.
hahaha....sahi kahi aapne...mujhe pehle lag raha tha ki wo kaafi chhota hai.....

vdhillon
December 1st, 2010, 08:53 PM
Freedom and working in the kitchen? I don't understand what women really want. Why they are so fed up with their daily chores. Leave apart working women, a typical house wife is doping nothing at home except "khaat todna" and " chatak-matak karna". house maids are hired for almost all daily chores in India, this may be different in foreign countries. Still they need help in kitchen. As far as freedom is concerned , If daughters want freedom to elope with some "erra-gairra nathhu khaira' putting family prestige on stake, It is "not" acceptable.

And yes, we want to eat "choon" three times in a day and we will not go in kitchen.............I am clear now?

lol mate ... quite hilarious .. for a moment I thought i am in humor section. Hilarious it may be, but I personally do not agree with the 'bulk' of the 'essence' of the message .

upendersingh
December 2nd, 2010, 04:48 PM
वैसे तो जाट सभी क्षेत्रों में अच्छा कर रहे हैं, लेकिन कुछ पहलू ऐसे हैं, जिन पर गंभीरता से ध्यान देना बहुत जरूरी है. एक तो खेती करने वाले जाटों
की भूमि का जो अधिग्रहण हो रहा है, यह ठीक नहीं है. जिन जाटों की जमीन का अधिग्रहण किया जाता है उसके बदले एक तो उन्हें मुआवजा पर्याप्त नहीं मिलता, दूसरे ऐसे जाट मुआवजे में मिली रकम से पुनः जमीन नहीं खरीदते, बल्कि उल्टे-सीधे धंधों में पड़ जाते हैं और बर्बादी की राह पकड़ लेते हैं.
जाटों के जो बच्चे उच्च शिक्षा ग्रहण कर रहे हैं, मेरे ख्याल से उनमें से बहुत से ऐसी सोच के होते जा रहे हैं कि ये क्या जाति-वाती, क्या गौत्र सिस्टम? इस दुनिया में सब एक समान हैं. जिंदगी बस एक बार मिलती है, इसमें जितना मजा ले सकते हो, ले डालो.
यह सोच बेहद घातक है. अभी कॉमनवेल्थ गेम्स में जाटों ने बहुत अच्छा किया तो दूसरी जातियों में भी अच्छा करने की होड़ लगी. अलग-अलग जाति, धर्म, देश प्रतिस्पर्धा की भावना पैदा करते हैं. यह दुनिया केवल ऐश लेने के लिए नहीं बनाई गई, बल्कि कुछ अच्छा और विशेष करके दिखाने के लिए बनाई गई है. अलग-अलग देश, धर्म नहीं होंगे तो फिर कैसे ओलिम्पिक और कैसे विश्व कप?
जो जाट रोजगार के लिए दूसरे देशों का रुख कर रहे हैं, उनकी तीसरी-चौथी पीढ़ी कैसे ईसाई बनने से बचेगी और कैसे जाट बनी रहेगी, यह भी एक यक्ष प्रश्न है.
खैर, जो भारतीय हिंदू जाट हैं, वे फिलहाल बहुत अच्छे ढंग से आगे बढ़ रहे हैं.

akshaymalik84
December 2nd, 2010, 08:38 PM
Listen to This Ragni......http://haryanavimusic.com/fp/player.php?w=295&h=200&Id=577&connection=MP3&t=SONG........

Compare yourself with JAT ki banjaran and see how far JATS have come.

ravinderjeet
December 2nd, 2010, 09:55 PM
Listen to This Ragni......http://haryanavimusic.com/fp/player.php?w=295&h=200&Id=577&connection=MP3&t=SONG........

Compare yourself with JAT ki banjaran and see how far JATS have come.

teraa link to koni chaaaldaa.

Shibani
December 3rd, 2010, 07:41 AM
वैसे तो जाट सभी क्षेत्रों में अच्छा कर रहे हैं, लेकिन कुछ पहलू ऐसे हैं, जिन पर गंभीरता से ध्यान देना बहुत जरूरी है. एक तो खेती करने वाले जाटों
की भूमि का जो अधिग्रहण हो रहा है, यह ठीक नहीं है. जिन जाटों की जमीन का अधिग्रहण किया जाता है उसके बदले एक तो उन्हें मुआवजा पर्याप्त नहीं मिलता, दूसरे ऐसे जाट मुआवजे में मिली रकम से पुनः जमीन नहीं खरीदते, बल्कि उल्टे-सीधे धंधों में पड़ जाते हैं और बर्बादी की राह पकड़ लेते हैं.
जाटों के जो बच्चे उच्च शिक्षा ग्रहण कर रहे हैं, मेरे ख्याल से उनमें से बहुत से ऐसी सोच के होते जा रहे हैं कि ये क्या जाति-वाती, क्या गौत्र सिस्टम? इस दुनिया में सब एक समान हैं. जिंदगी बस एक बार मिलती है, इसमें जितना मजा ले सकते हो, ले डालो.
यह सोच बेहद घातक है. अभी कॉमनवेल्थ गेम्स में जाटों ने बहुत अच्छा किया तो दूसरी जातियों में भी अच्छा करने की होड़ लगी. अलग-अलग जाति, धर्म, देश प्रतिस्पर्धा की भावना पैदा करते हैं. यह दुनिया केवल ऐश लेने के लिए नहीं बनाई गई, बल्कि कुछ अच्छा और विशेष करके दिखाने के लिए बनाई गई है. अलग-अलग देश, धर्म नहीं होंगे तो फिर कैसे ओलिम्पिक और कैसे विश्व कप?
जो जाट रोजगार के लिए दूसरे देशों का रुख कर रहे हैं, उनकी तीसरी-चौथी पीढ़ी कैसे ईसाई बनने से बचेगी और कैसे जाट बनी रहेगी, यह भी एक यक्ष प्रश्न है.
खैर, जो भारतीय हिंदू जाट हैं, वे फिलहाल बहुत अच्छे ढंग से आगे बढ़ रहे हैं.

Upender ji 100% agree karti hoon mein aapki baat se.
Jat ka doosra naam hain kisan aur agar kisan ke paas uski zameen hi nahin rahegi to apne aap hi barbadi ki rasta khul jata hain. uspar zameen ka paisa to jaise sone pe suhaga hain. Bina mehant kare roti bhi hajam nahin hoti paisa kaise hajam hoga. Meine is tarah ki bahot saare kisse sune aur dekhe hain. Jin kisano ki zameen le li jaati hain yeh unki baad kismati hain is mein koi shak nahin hain.

Delhi ke aas paas ke gaon mein yahi sabh ho raha hain aur uska nateeja yeh hain ki bahot saare kisson mein ki poori young generation kaharb ho rahi hain. Iska solution jahan tak mujhe pata hain intervnetion on time hain. Intervention ya toh govt se ya gaon ke samjhdar logon se. Doosra education.

Jahan tak doosre desh mein Jats ki baat hain jis insaan ko apne culture se pyar aur proud hoga woh usko zaroor jinda rakhega. Jats ko proud hain apne Jat pan pe to mujhe sure hain ki bahar rehne wale JAT sudhre hue honge.

Shibani
December 4th, 2010, 02:12 PM
Listen to This Ragni......http://haryanavimusic.com/fp/player.php?w=295&h=200&Id=577&connection=MP3&t=SONG........

Compare yourself with JAT ki banjaran and see how far JATS have come.

Akshay ji I did listen to the Ragni but unfortunately couldn't follow and understand it properly. If possible can you possibly explain rather provide me with a brief of the ragni. A brief synopsis will e really gud.
Thanks in advance

jagdeepchd
December 4th, 2010, 03:12 PM
1. Jats as a community is progressing along with the flow of change that is being winessed in India, as a community now we are seen as hardworking, physically strong, competitive and intelligent race ,although a bit rough and aggressive..now people in south India also know and recognize jats as a separate race because of the accomplishments in different fields, such as the recent commonwealth games & asian games, etc.
I would like to change / see more education in our community as still lotsa jats are involved in agri sector with little exposure to better education, but let me also add here that this is changing very fast and maybe in another 5 yrs jats will rock,.
2. As regards the men and their attitude towards freedom to wives and daughters and the helping in kitchen is concerned, it also depends on the education and exposure ..You will see very modern as well as very conservative outlook on such issues in our community...but yes, things are changing fast..HERE I would like to emphasize that this change is more because of the progress made by our girls/women in different fields.
3. Yep Shibani...jat menfolk really dig their rotis.. tasalli roti kha ke hi milti hai..I think our build and lifestyle too needs rotis.

Shibani
December 8th, 2010, 01:57 PM
1. Jats as a community is progressing along with the flow of change that is being winessed in India, as a community now we are seen as hardworking, physically strong, competitive and intelligent race ,although a bit rough and aggressive..now people in south India also know and recognize jats as a separate race because of the accomplishments in different fields, such as the recent commonwealth games & asian games, etc.
I would like to change / see more education in our community as still lotsa jats are involved in agri sector with little exposure to better education, but let me also add here that this is changing very fast and maybe in another 5 yrs jats will rock,.
2. As regards the men and their attitude towards freedom to wives and daughters and the helping in kitchen is concerned, it also depends on the education and exposure ..You will see very modern as well as very conservative outlook on such issues in our community...but yes, things are changing fast..HERE I would like to emphasize that this change is more because of the progress made by our girls/women in different fields.
3. Yep Shibani...jat menfolk really dig their rotis.. tasalli roti kha ke hi milti hai..I think our build and lifestyle too needs rotis.

Hi Jagdeep,
Apologies first for not responding to your response. I appreciate your response and your views. I have full faith that JATS are moving ahead progressively and are establishing themselves in every field. I agree that we need more education in our community but I would still want JATS to be connected to our main profession KHETI. I would like to see educated farmers.
Roti got it sir...thats not going to change boo hoo.
Thanks again Jagdeep

pragati
December 22nd, 2010, 08:55 PM
Mere hisab se maa baap apne beti dete hain yahi aapne aap mein bahot badi baat hain uske aage koi expectation nahin honi chahiye.........

v well said Shibani ji...lekin ye baat bahut kam logo ki samaz me aati hai, log ye bhi nahi sochte ki kya wo apna beta aise jindgi bhar ke liye de sakte hain jaise ek ladki apna ghar aur apne parents ko chhod kar ek naye ghar me jaati hai aur dil se sabko apnaati hai, wo apne parents aur family to secondary rakhti hai aur husband aur inlaws ko top priority deti hai....shayad koi ladka aisa nahi kar sakta...

kapdal
December 22nd, 2010, 10:08 PM
[SIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]What I would like to see changing:
Well my answer in regards to what I would like to change in our culture is...........the amount of pressure on parents of married girls. Pehle shadi ka kharcha karo, phir har festival par, phir jabh baccha hota hain tabh and the story goes on.
I feel for the parents. Jitni bar damad ghar aaye usko maan do........I think maan dil se diya jaata hain magar humare yahan iska matlab kuch alag hi hain..............I know of very many families that are breaking this tradition and only accept Rs.1 in maan. Truly appreciate them.

Mere hisab se maa baap apne beti dete hain yahi aapne aap mein bahot badi baat hain uske aage koi expectation nahin honi chahiye............magar sirf galti maa baap ki nahin hain I know of very many girls who expect their parents to give them all the time.....GIRLS UR PARENTS BROUGHT U IN THIS WORLD, EDUCATED U ITS ABOUT TIME WE STOP ASKING FOR MORE.......I think ladkiyoon ka bahot bada haath hain in traditions ke aaj bhi hone ka...
Ravider ji thanks for adding humor to my post..............I was expecting this flavour as well in responses.

But what about property rights? On paper (law), the girl child has an equal right to the property of her parents. But how many girls actually get a share from ancestral property? Maan baap to sabhi bachhon ka palan poshan, padhaai likhaai karwaate hain. Fir ladke ko saari property aur ladki ko kuchh nahin? That is surely not progressive, which I think is the spirit behind your thread.

And don't misunderstand- I am not in favor of dowry or any other lena dena, that has become more of a show-off thing rather than actual maan-taan. It is much worse when such things are "expected" or "demanded". But I think there was a good angle in gifts given by parents and even brothers on special occasions to the girl in a patriarchal society, where you don't give her any property. These gifts are a sort of "compensation" to the girl for giving up her claim (now when the law gives the girl the legal right). Even earlier when there was no law, it just made things a bit more fair for girls, didn't it? Of course, the ideal way would be no gifts of any sort and equal division of property.

satyeshwar
December 22nd, 2010, 11:13 PM
I cook over the weekend and usually my wife loves whatever I make. It could be partly because she wants me to keep making food in the future though! :)

sjakhars
December 22nd, 2010, 11:27 PM
Anyone who wants to see how far Jats have come, please see a Jat "pakaying Khana", doing "Chulha Chouki". :) :D

I cook over the weekend and usually my wife loves whatever I make. It could be partly because she wants me to keep making food in the future though! :)

deependra
December 23rd, 2010, 12:56 AM
Anyone who wants to see how far Jats have come, please see a Jat "pakaying Khana", doing "Chulha Chouki". :) :D

Jakhar ji, I believe cooking is an art and gives a lot of satisfaction if the food turns out to be good. And sometimes women also deserve a break from their regular chores. I cook the food on my own(with plenty of Ghee) and enjoy it throughly, really it gives me the satisfaction which I can't get with outside food.

Shibani
December 23rd, 2010, 04:44 AM
But what about property rights? On paper (law), the girl child has an equal right to the property of her parents. But how many girls actually get a share from ancestral property? Maan baap to sabhi bachhon ka palan poshan, padhaai likhaai karwaate hain. Fir ladke ko saari property aur ladki ko kuchh nahin? That is surely not progressive, which I think is the spirit behind your thread.

Kapil I think the law has been changed and the girls have equal right in the property....farak sirf itna hain ki liadkiyaan yeh haak generally nahin leti hain jiki wajah hum sabh jante hi hain. The spirit behind my thread was more so about JAT traditions and how some of the traditions have come off age and need alterations. I wanted to find out from members which traditions should be altered and why and how of the same.

And don't misunderstand- I am not in favor of dowry or any other lena dena, that has become more of a show-off thing rather than actual maan-taan. It is much worse when such things are "expected" or "demanded". But I think there was a good angle in gifts given by parents and even brothers on special occasions to the girl in a patriarchal society, where you don't give her any property. These gifts are a sort of "compensation" to the girl for giving up her claim (now when the law gives the girl the legal right). Even earlier when there was no law, it just made things a bit more fair for girls, didn't it? Of course, the ideal way would be no gifts of any sort and equal division of property.

I agree giving gift out of one's own genereosity is heart felt gesture but just ik riwaaz nibhane ke liye duniya ko dikahne ke liye I disapprove of that. The biggest gift that any parent can give to there child is education and good morals. Kapil don't you think Humari community mein lena dena zyada hain? or I should say we come next to Marwaris....they are way up.

Shibani
December 23rd, 2010, 05:19 AM
Jakhar ji, I believe cooking is an art and gives a lot of satisfaction if the food turns out to be good. And sometimes women also deserve a break from their regular chores. I cook the food on my own(with plenty of Ghee) and enjoy it throughly, really it gives me the satisfaction which I can't get with outside food.

Plenty of Ghee Deepandra ji seems like you need to visit health and fitness section...kidding. When cooking is not a everyday chore it is staisfying to do so.

Shibani
December 23rd, 2010, 05:20 AM
I cook over the weekend and usually my wife loves whatever I make. It could be partly because she wants me to keep making food in the future though! :)

Seems like you don't only cook well but you also leave the kitcehn spic and span....coz when men eneter the kitchen gosh they leave mess that takes hours to clean.

kapdal
December 23rd, 2010, 05:35 AM
I agree giving gift out of one's own genereosity is heart felt gesture but just ik riwaaz nibhane ke liye duniya ko dikahne ke liye I disapprove of that. The biggest gift that any parent can give to there child is education and good morals. Kapil don't you think Humari community mein lena dena zyada hain? or I should say we come next to Marwaris....they are way up.

Shibani, yes the law gives property rights to the girls, but as you said, no one follows it. And that's because we are brought up in a culture where the tradition is that property goes from father to son. If you think the tradition of lena dena has come off age, then this tradition of not giving property rights to the girl has also come off age. There are communities in Kerala where no lena dena happens as all the children, boys or girls, get equal share of the property. This is not the case in most North Indian communities and Jats are no exception. If the sheer amount of money that exchanges hands on the wedding day is a parameter, then Jats would be much lower in the list. There are communities, where it is a norm to have a rate list based on groom's qualifications. Indian society is in middle of a materialistic revolution where showing off is part of the game. And Jats are no exception.

Personally, I think one can never give too much to a girl, if you compare it against what is legally hers and not being given to her. Your line about biggest gift being education and good morals is a sort of truism, a feel-good abstract thought. In practise, the worst of guy, even one who beats up his parents, gets the property while the girl doesn't. And if anything, even in education or nutrition, most parents tend to focus on the male child more than the female child.

If the question is about how far Jats have progressed vis-a-vis treatment of women, then things like what chores males help in are important but nothing compared to the elephant in the room, property rights, that no one wants to talk about.

Shibani
December 23rd, 2010, 07:06 AM
Shibani, yes the law gives property rights to the girls, but as you said, no one follows it. And that's because we are brought up in a culture where the tradition is that property goes from father to son. If you think the tradition of lena dena has come off age, then this tradition of not giving property rights to the girl has also come off age. There are communities in Kerala where no lena dena happens as all the children, boys or girls, get equal share of the property. This is not the case in most North Indian communities and Jats are no exception. If the sheer amount of money that exchanges hands on the wedding day is a parameter, then Jats would be much lower in the list. There are communities, where it is a norm to have a rate list based on groom's qualifications. Indian society is in middle of a materialistic revolution where showing off is part of the game. And Jats are no exception.

Personally, I think one can never give too much to a girl, if you compare it against what is legally hers and not being given to her. Your line about biggest gift being education and good morals is a sort of truism, a feel-good abstract thought. In practise, the worst of guy, even one who beats up his parents, gets the property while the girl doesn't. And if anything, even in education or nutrition, most parents tend to focus on the male child more than the female child.

If the question is about how far Jats have progressed vis-a-vis treatment of women, then things like what chores males help in are important but nothing compared to the elephant in the room, property rights, that no one wants to talk about.

I agree with pretty much every thing that you said here Kapil but my concern is more when parents are forced into giving because of the tradition. Every parent wants to give the most and more to their kids and they do so as well. By educating a girl and giving her the best of everything you are definately preparing her to meet the challenges of life. Once a girl is married off the follow on traditions of giving shouldn't be forced on parents because of the society andf its expectation. I hate to see parents pressured into meeting these challenges time and again and there are points when the view of girls being a burden creeps in. Imagine somone with three married daughters and have to cope up with such demands.

Kids have equal right on parents property nowdays but I think girls choose not to take it because then there future ties with brothers get hampered. Its good to see girls have a choice now whether they want the property or not.

amitdabas22
December 23rd, 2010, 10:02 AM
v well said Shibani ji...lekin ye baat bahut kam logo ki samaz me aati hai, log ye bhi nahi sochte ki kya wo apna beta aise jindgi bhar ke liye de sakte hain jaise ek ladki apna ghar aur apne parents ko chhod kar ek naye ghar me jaati hai aur dil se sabko apnaati hai, wo apne parents aur family to secondary rakhti hai aur husband aur inlaws ko top priority deti hai....shayad koi ladka aisa nahi kar sakta...

Forget the ideal girl in todays cicumstances !!
It was only in the times of our previous generation that a girl used to stick by his husband and his family in whatever may come.
Girls todays are hell lot different and demanding ! From the first day of marriage they start ploying about how to get the guy away from his family.
They are not interested in the family but just the guy!! Mother and sister in law as long as visible are a continuous pain for them !!

Further to add to the guy's woes are the outdated laws on marriage which support the girls blindfolded !!

Shibani
December 23rd, 2010, 10:22 AM
Forget the ideal girl in todays cicumstances !!
It was only in the times of our previous generation that a girl used to stick by his husband and his family in whatever may come.
Girls todays are hell lot different and demanding ! From the first day of marriage they start ploying about how to get the guy away from his family.
They are not interested in the family but just the guy!! Mother and sister in law as long as visible are a continuous pain for them !!

Further to add to the guy's woes are the outdated laws on marriage which support the girls blindfolded !!

I understand ur concern here Amit and that's one of the reason I mentioned good morals......I totally agree with you that girls today have very limited patience and don't realise to get something they have to give.

amitdabas22
December 23rd, 2010, 10:53 AM
Shibani Ji ...thank you for your support !
But frankly the scenario is changing fast and probably the semi educated Jat godesses are making the guys suffers much more.
To put things in perspective i'll tell an example from my neighbouring village:

This teacher guy got married to a teacher girl.
The guy only had an old housewife mother. His sisters had been married off.
Just months after the marriage the girl starts demanding that she wants to live in Rohini.
The guy agrees but the girl has further condition of not taking the mother-in-law along.
The guy's in a fix! How would her mother survive !
The families of both sides meet. And even the girl's parents demand the same.
So now divorce proceedings are on.


I mean what the hell !! Its better to get an uneducated girl from the hinterlands of Satpura than ruining lives with such witches of women.

Shibani
December 23rd, 2010, 11:00 AM
Shibani Ji ...thank you for your support !
But frankly the scenario is changing fast and probably the semi educated Jat godesses are making the guys suffers much more.
To put things in perspective i'll tell an example from my neighbouring village:

This teacher guy got married to a teacher girl.
The guy only had an old housewife mother. His sisters had been married off.
Just months after the marriage the girl starts demanding that she wants to live in Rohini.
The guy agrees but the girl has further condition of not taking the mother-in-law along.
The guy's in a fix! How would her mother survive !
The families of both sides meet. And even the girl's parents demand the same.
So now divorce proceedings are on.


I mean what the hell !! Its better to get an uneducated girl from the hinterlands of Satpura than ruining lives with such witches of women.

Amit I totally understand and specially support ur reamark "semi educated Jat godesses" infact I have a few friends back home who are in this dilemma all the time. Its such a gamble now and worst of all parents supporting such behaviour. GIRLS BEHAVE

pragati
December 23rd, 2010, 11:08 AM
Forget the ideal girl in todays cicumstances !!
It was only in the times of our previous generation that a girl used to stick by his husband and his family in whatever may come.
Girls todays are hell lot different and demanding ! From the first day of marriage they start ploying about how to get the guy away from his family.
They are not interested in the family but just the guy!! Mother and sister in law as long as visible are a continuous pain for them !!

Further to add to the guy's woes are the outdated laws on marriage which support the girls blindfolded !!

I don't agree, there are such kind of girls who give equal respect to family as they do for husband. If the girl is demanding (according to your point of view), then boy is also demanding (according to my point of view) and i think each n every relation has it's own demand whether it would be with our father, mother, brother or with a friend.
Why a girl start playing to get the guy away from his family when she already left her family for him and can completely understand the value n place of his own family in life. Moreover, generally guys refuse for any kind of support and help for girls family (if they need).
Father, mother and sister in law are not a pain but gain bcoz she gets them by tie lifetime knot with someone.

amitdabas22
December 23rd, 2010, 11:21 AM
I don't agree, there are such kind of girls who give equal respect to family as they do for husband. If the girl is demanding (according to your point of view), then boy is also demanding (according to my point of view) and i think each n every relation has it's own demand whether it would be with our father, mother, brother or with a friend.
Why a girl start playing to get the guy away from his family when she already left her family for him and can completely understand the value n place of his own family in life. Moreover, generally guys refuse for any kind of support and help for girls family (if they need).
Father, mother and sister in law are not a pain but gain bcoz she gets them by tie lifetime knot with someone.


Pragati ji ! I am not saying that all girls are like this.
But when such things happen to someone, it makes them bitter for a lifetime.
And i think there should be a detailed discussion on such issues before marriage.
But people dont think that such things might crop up in their lives and only look at the holy side of the matrimony.

Par doodh ka jal chaach phoonk ke peeta peeta hai !!

singhvp
December 23rd, 2010, 04:38 PM
I cook over the weekend and usually my wife loves whatever I make. It could be partly because she wants me to keep making food in the future though! :)

That's like a good husband. People should shed their misplaced & inflated male ego and start helping their wives. Those who do not know how to cook, can help in washing the dishes, cutting of vegetables and kneading the flour etc. It certainly makes a difference in the smooth running of a household.

narendra81
December 23rd, 2010, 04:45 PM
vp sir, ego may not be an issue...
but itz quite logical to use the best fit resource for any job.
a wife is (mostly) expert in cooking and husband for other tasks..
ibb rotiyan pakane se hee kuch prove thode hee hona hai... :P


That's like a good husband. People should shed their misplaced & inflated male ego and start helping their wives. Those who do not know how to cook, can help in washing the dishes, cutting of vegetables and kneading the flour etc. It certainly makes a difference in the smooth running of a household.

singhvp
December 23rd, 2010, 05:02 PM
I agree with pretty much every thing that you said here Kapil but my concern is more when parents are forced into giving because of the tradition. Every parent wants to give the most and more to their kids and they do so as well. By educating a girl and giving her the best of everything you are definately preparing her to meet the challenges of life. Once a girl is married off the follow on traditions of giving shouldn't be forced on parents because of the society andf its expectation. I hate to see parents pressured into meeting these challenges time and again and there are points when the view of girls being a burden creeps in. Imagine somone with three married daughters and have to cope up with such demands.

Kids have equal right on parents property nowdays but I think girls choose not to take it because then there future ties with brothers get hampered. Its good to see girls have a choice now whether they want the property or not.

There is nothing wrong in partaking the parental property by girls. But as you said Shibani ji, girls usually are shy of doing so because of societal disapproval of the legal right to do so as conferred by judiciary. If anyone does so, it becomes a talk of the town and the doer is looked own upon by the family, relatives as well as the society. However, in the cities and areas surrounding Delhi, where the landed properties fetch handsome compensation, girls have started showing interest in the ancestral property, after marriage. Ideally, it should be like that to keep the family accounts clear. The custom of Dowry, gifts (aagli pachhliyan ke suit/teel, kambal) lena-dena looks quite abjurd and outmoded in today's world and there is lot of "takraar" on quality of "teels" and "blankets". It is better to divide the property among all the children equally irrespective of gender. Even after this amicable division, relationship can remain as cordial as before.

singhvp
December 23rd, 2010, 05:09 PM
vp sir, ego may not be an issue...
but itz quite logical to use the best fit resource for any job.
a wife is (mostly) expert in cooking and husband for other tasks..
ibb rotiyan pakane se hee kuch prove thode hee hona hai... :P

This is also true Narendra. In this age of specialization, it is cost effective if ladies take charge of the kitchen. How could I miss this important point???.

But the above is not applicable in cases where both husband and wife are working. Husbands in such households must contribute in kitchen. The others may be exempted.

Arvindc
December 23rd, 2010, 05:44 PM
Forget the ideal girl in todays cicumstances !!
It was only in the times of our previous generation that a girl used to stick by his husband and his family in whatever may come.
Girls todays are hell lot different and demanding ! From the first day of marriage they start ploying about how to get the guy away from his family.
They are not interested in the family but just the guy!! Mother and sister in law as long as visible are a continuous pain for them !!

Further to add to the guy's woes are the outdated laws on marriage which support the girls blindfolded !!

Infringement of the value system brought by the popularization of TV has led to this. Todays twenty+ generation is a product of time when TV was very important and popular. The result is a pain for today's family's specially the elders who have no support system to fall to.

Hopefully, the things are improving as more and more people are realizing the drawbacks of TV and infringement of media.

singhvp
December 23rd, 2010, 06:11 PM
Infringement of the value system brought by the popularization of TV has led to this. Todays twenty+ generation is a product of time when TV was very important and popular. The result is a pain for today's family's specially the elders who have no support system to fall to.

Hopefully, the things are improving as more and more people are realizing the drawbacks of TV and infringement of media.

Ekta Kapoor is one of the major culprits.

Arvindc
December 23rd, 2010, 06:25 PM
Ekta Kapoor is one of the major culprits.

VP Singh Ji, Ekta Kapoor na ke apki jhoti khol le? Aap na dekho iske program. Aar gane bhundi laga se to ya jis jis channel pa awva se wo channel a hatado.

singhvp
December 23rd, 2010, 06:38 PM
[QUOTE=Arvindc;258703]VP Singh Ji, Ekta Kapoor na ke apki jhoti khol le? Aap na dekho iske program. Aar gane bhundi laga se to ya jis jis channel pa awva se wo channel a hatado.[/QUOTE

भाई अरविन्द इस एकता कपूर नै तो झोटी खोलन जिसा ए काम कर राख्या सै I मैं तो ना देखता इसका कोए भी प्रोग्राम पर काफी महिलाये और बच्चे देखते हैं इसके सीरियल. काफी cheap से ही होते हैं क्योंकि एक दो episode कभी कभार randomly reality check के लिए देखे हैं मैंने. दूसरा नुक्सान ये है कि जब तक यह सीरियल चलते हैं समाचार देखने के लिए महिलाएं TV खाली नहीं करती.

deepshi
February 7th, 2011, 08:58 AM
Freedom and working in the kitchen? I don't understand what women really want. Why they are so fed up with their daily chores. Leave apart working women, a typical house wife is doping nothing at home except "khaat todna" and " chatak-matak karna". house maids are hired for almost all daily chores in India, this may be different in foreign countries. Still they need help in kitchen. As far as freedom is concerned , If daughters want freedom to elope with some "erra-gairra nathhu khaira' putting family prestige on stake, It is "not" acceptable.


hahahahaha...Gold!
these days feminists:confused: are hopelessly clueless
they hv done much harm than good

deepshi
February 7th, 2011, 09:03 AM
And yes, we want to eat "choon" three times in a day and we will not go in kitchen.............I am clear now?
naah...being li'l considerate doesnt harm...situation must be considered, what if she is sick/tired/hormonal/under-the-weather on occasions.
thats not being a "man" or "woman' or this whole feminist thingo, thats being humane.

Anyhow...jats doing well.
and to reiterate,
http://www.jatland.com/forums/showthread.php?29092-women-in-corporate&p=233722&viewfull=1#post233722

bhupindersingh
February 8th, 2011, 01:28 AM
Originally Posted by pragati

Further to add to the guy's woes are the outdated laws on marriage which support the girls blindfolded !!I don't agree, there are such kind of girls who give equal respect to family as they do for husband. If the girl is demanding (according to your point of view), then boy is also demanding (according to my point of view) and i think each n every relation has it's own demand whether it would be with our father, mother, brother or with a friend.
Why a girl start playing to get the guy away from his family when she already left her family for him and can completely understand the value n place of his own family in life. Moreover, generally guys refuse for any kind of support and help for girls family (if they need).
Father, mother and sister in law are not a pain but gain bcoz she gets them by tie lifetime knot with someone.


Very true....

ravinderpannu
February 18th, 2011, 12:44 PM
I would like to know where do we see ourselves today as a community. What would you like to change about jat community and Why?:)

As far as community is concerned I feel EXTREME PROUD BEING A JAT. Peoples know jats,,people talk about them (be it out of fear )...I wish that every one in the community should be educated enough,,because i encounter many So called Graduates who lack common sense in our community,,esp in rural areas,,,although the situations are changing now.


Also how far have our men come I am really interested to know how much freedom are you giving to your wives and daugters? How much understanding is there in terms of domestic chores. Do men see themselves working more or helping in the kitchen??????:)well, there is decent freedom given to females these days,,i see girls are going to cities for studies and are even allowed to work, ,!!

as far as kitchen is concerned,,if a lady is house wife than she should not expect this kind of help, unless she is ill ,,but if both are working ..it than becomes the part of responsibility for both..i used to help my mother in kitchen while i was at home, and there is nothing wrong with it..if i am helping my wife also.
The biggest question to all men specially do you still have to have a proper north indian meal which is roti everday no matter WHAT?:DIndeed roti can't be missed..!!!
chun peedna is a tradition of jats,,and it is carried forward well...!!!:rock:rock