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urmiladuhan
October 3rd, 2011, 02:44 PM
A part of real conversation with my Jaatni friend, who lives in a small town of Haryana:

She: my father in law dictates what I should or should not wear. For example, covering my head at my work place is a MUST! Wearing of neck jewellery is a must. According to the FIL, tradition must be maintained - it looks good.

Me: What does the FIL wear?

She: Pyjama Kurta.

Me: (Laughs) Why not a Dhoti Kurta? Tradition must be maintained, isn't it so?

She: No answer!

rakeshsehrawat
October 3rd, 2011, 02:48 PM
A part of real conversation with my Jaatni friend, who lives in a small town of Haryana:

She: my father in law dictates what I should or should not wear. For example, covering my head at my work place is a MUST! Wearing of neck jewellery is a must. According to the FIL, tradition must be maintained - it looks good.

Me: What does the FIL wear?

She: Pyjama Kurta.

Me: (Laughs) Why not a Dhoti Kurta? Tradition must be maintained, isn't it so?

She: No answer!

She is doing job

Her father in law had given her freedom also but with limitations .

upendersingh
October 3rd, 2011, 02:49 PM
Pyjama-Kurta is also part of culture.

Regards

singhvp
October 3rd, 2011, 03:21 PM
[
[QUOTE]upendersingh;280070]Pyjama-Kurta is also part of culture.

Regards[QUOTE

What about Jean, T-Shirt and Skirt?. Should a Jat wear these outfits or not? Which dress code would you prescribe for a cultured Jat??
I think, Pyjama was not originally part of our traditional outfits. This seems to have come either from Europe or Islamic world.

rakeshsehrawat
October 3rd, 2011, 03:26 PM
[[QUOTE]
What about Jean, T-Shirt and Skirt?. Should a Jat wear these outfits or not? Which dress code would you prescribe for a cultured Jat??
I think, Pyjama was not originally part of our traditional outfits. This seems to have come either from Europe or Islamic world.

Wo kapda jo gaat (body) dikhane ki bajaye dhakne ka kaam kare

upendersingh
October 3rd, 2011, 03:29 PM
What about Jean, T-Shirt and Skirt?. Should a Jat wear these outfits or not? Which dress code would you prescribe for a cultured Jat??
I think, Pyjama was not originally part of our traditional outfits. This seems to have come either from Europe or Islamic world.

Sir ji, pyjama-kurta is supposed to be a part of Jat culture. I am not talking about jeans/t-shirt/skirt or whatever, I just meant if one wears pyjama-kurta, then he shouldn't be taken as rule breaker as he is not wearing dhoti-kurta. Upto 50-55 of age, Jats mostly don't wear dhoti-kurta, but they wear pyjama-kurta in village.

Regards

annch
October 3rd, 2011, 04:18 PM
Freedom or a necessity? Isn't it against our culture to make a daughter-in-law work a job? But I guess, when it comes to money, our traditions are flexible.


She is doing job

Her father in law had given her freedom also but with limitations .

cooljat
October 3rd, 2011, 05:14 PM
.

There's always .. your version of story, his/her version of story and the original version of the story!

gaganjat
October 3rd, 2011, 05:41 PM
There are different rules for men and women and we got to accept them.
Women who dont accept these rules should not complain when they are treated like men.

cooljat
October 3rd, 2011, 05:47 PM
Ditto Gunny bhai, am not advocating here male dominated society or talking like a chauvinist but I read somewhere that fundamental role of woman in family/society is as 'NOURISHER' and man's role defined as 'PROTECTOR'.

Believe it or not, but it's hard coded even in genes .. in fact, strongest of woman do crave for dominating male partner!



There are different rules for men and women and we got to accept them.
Women who dont accept these rules should not complain when they are treated like men.

singhvp
October 3rd, 2011, 06:27 PM
[QUOTE=vpsingh;280076][

Wo kapda jo gaat (body) dikhane ki bajaye dhakne ka kaam kareफेर तो भाई आपणे बड़े बूढ़े जो धोती पहनते हैं वा ठीक कोन्या क्योंकि उसमे तो आधी टांग उघाड़ी रहवैं सें I आर जब तेज हवा चाल ज्याया करै फेर तो कतई चाला पाट ज्याया करै I इसका मतलब या जीन cultured पहनावा सै I

annch
October 3rd, 2011, 06:34 PM
1) Agreed that there are different rules for men and women, and there are no issues if the two genders stick to their respective rules. However, if a woman forays into a man's world, as well as continues to be a home maker, then men should also admit that woman is twise what the man is.
2) What version is prevalent on the forum? A man's version. So, Jit, you should not be complaining. And, a man seems to have lost sheen as a "protector" in current times, while a woman continues to be a "Nourisher", and in many cases also a "Provider". Who do you think is better at maintaining the role then?

This is not a man vs woman arguement, just an acceptance that there has to be a mutual respect for each role, and not who is better. Sometimes circumstances force a role reversal, that would not mean that a man will be less of a man, or a woman will be more of a man. Just an adaptability for survival.

There are different rules for men and women and we got to accept them.
Women who dont accept these rules should not complain when they are treated like men.

.
There's always .. your version of story, his/her version of story and the original version of the story!



Ditto Gunny bhai, am not advocating here male dominated society or talking like a chauvinist but I read somewhere that fundamental role of woman in family/society is as 'NOURISHER' and man's role defined as 'PROTECTOR'.
Believe it or not, but it's hard coded even in genes .. in fact, strongest of woman do crave for dominating male partner!

singhvp
October 3rd, 2011, 06:37 PM
Sir ji, pyjama-kurta is supposed to be a part of Jat culture. I am not talking about jeans/t-shirt/skirt or whatever, I just meant if one wears pyjama-kurta, then he shouldn't be taken as rule breaker as he is not wearing dhoti-kurta. Upto 50-55 of age, Jats mostly don't wear dhoti-kurta, but they wear pyjama-kurta in village.

Regards

Thank you for clarification Upender. It is true that Kurta Pyjama is very popular among Jats but it is in vogue all over Northern India irrespective of caste, culture or religion. The basic reason of its popularity is the climatic conditions, its affordability and, above all, the comfort level it provides to the wearer.

singhvp
October 3rd, 2011, 07:39 PM
Ditto Gunny bhai, am not advocating here male dominated society or talking like a chauvinist but I read somewhere that fundamental role of woman in family/society is as 'NOURISHER' and man's role defined as 'PROTECTOR'.

Believe it or not, but it's hard coded even in genes .. in fact, strongest of woman do crave for dominating male partner!

You are talking about the bygone era when women had to be wholly dependent on their men folks. The landscape of Gender inequality is getting leveled very fast. As for craving of women for a 'dominating' male partner is concerned, it has become a thing of the past. Today's enlightened female give a damn to today's 'fake terminators' who are still suffering from the male hangover of the 'cave era'. Most of such self-proclaimed tigers are 'fake mards' suffering from certain inferiority complexes and sense of insecurity.

akshaymalik84
October 3rd, 2011, 07:40 PM
पहले ज़माने में लुगाई घूँघट भी काढ्या करती अर्र चुस्क्या भी न करती ......फेर लोग धीरे धीरे बहु बेटियों को पढ़ाने लग गए .......घूँघट कम होते गए ......लोगा ने सोची चलो कोए बात ना...छोरा छोरी एक सामान .....बड़े बूढ़े बोले की चलो सर पे ऐ पालू कर ल्यो ......पर इब इन ने उसमे भी तकलीफ होण लाग गी....अर्र ऊपर ते नु और कह दे है .....शर्म ते अंख्या की होया करे

पहल्यां १७-१८ साल की उम्र में ब्याह हो जाया करते .....ना ते छोरे ने आर ना छोरी ने उरेन परेन की सोचन का टेम मिल्या करता. जवानी का कीड़ा उठन ते पहलया इ शांत हो लिया करता....बालक करे आर अपने काम धंदे में मशगूल मानस .......आज ब्याह होवे २७ साल में जा क .....अर्र ऊपर ते यो टी वि ......दिमाग ख़राब कर दिया लोगां का .......एक ऐ चीज दिखे है ......एक छोरी पाछे कई का जूत बाजे है ...अर्र जिसके गेल व छोरी आखिर में जावे है ...वो छोरा कती लुगैया बरगा हो ले है उस छोरी क चक्कर में(मतलब लुगाई की बात नही काट सकता किसे आगे ) .....आर छोरी नु सोचे है इस ते बढ़िया ते वे दुसरे ऐ थे .


हर घर का अपना हिसाब किताब होया करे ........अगर इतनी इ दिक्कत है रूल्स फोलो करण में ते ....आज कल छोरा चोरी ब्याह ते पहलम मिल्या भी करे .....अपनी सारी खोल कर लिया करो .......क्यूँ किसे दुसरे घर की शांति भंग करो अपनी आजादी के लिए


म्हारे कुनबे में एक दादा कह्या करता ......ये ते मेरी सासू की पिट ती छित ती रह तो ठीक स ना ते सर पे बिठाई नही आर काम में मुत्या नही ....... आर वो नु भी कह्या करता ......लुगाई अपनी सहनशीलता से और अपने घर के काम ते आदमी का दिल जीत्या करे ......आर जब औरत की सहनशीलता ख़तम हो जा है तब ते घर का नास ऐ स

singhvp
October 3rd, 2011, 08:02 PM
पहले ज़माने में लुगाई घूँघट भी काढ्या करती अर्र चुस्क्या भी न करती ......फेर लोग धीरे धीरे बहु बेटियों को पढ़ाने लग गए .......घूँघट कम होते गए ......लोगा ने सोची चलो कोए बात ना...छोरा छोरी एक सामान .....बड़े बूढ़े बोले की चलो सर पे ऐ पालू कर ल्यो ......पर इब इन ने उसमे भी तकलीफ होण लाग गी....अर्र ऊपर ते नु और कह दे है .....शर्म ते अंख्या की होया करे

पहल्यां १७-१८ साल की उम्र में ब्याह हो जाया करते .....ना ते छोरे ने आर ना छोरी ने उरेन परेन की सोचन का टेम मिल्या करता. जवानी का कीड़ा उठन ते पहलया इ शांत हो लिया करता....बालक करे आर अपने काम धंदे में मशगूल मानस .......आज ब्याह होवे २७ साल में जा क .....अर्र ऊपर ते यो टी वि ......दिमाग ख़राब कर दिया लोगां का .......एक ऐ चीज दिखे है ......एक छोरी पाछे कई का जूत बाजे है ...अर्र जिसके गेल व छोरी आखिर में जावे है ...वो छोरा कती लुगैया बरगा हो ले है उस छोरी क चक्कर में(मतलब लुगाई की बात नही काट सकता किसे आगे ) .....आर छोरी नु सोचे है इस ते बढ़िया ते वे दुसरे ऐ थे .


हर घर का अपना हिसाब किताब होया करे ........अगर इतनी इ दिक्कत है रूल्स फोलो करण में ते ....आज कल छोरा चोरी ब्याह ते पहलम मिल्या भी करे .....अपनी सारी खोल कर लिया करो .......क्यूँ किसे दुसरे घर की शांति भंग करो अपनी आजादी के लिए


म्हारे कुनबे में एक दादा कह्या करता ......ये ते मेरी सासू की पिट ती छित ती रह तो ठीक स ना ते सर पे बिठाई नही आर काम में मुत्या नही ....... आर वो नु भी कह्या करता ......लुगाई अपनी सहनशीलता से और अपने घर के काम ते आदमी का दिल जीत्या करे ......आर जब औरत की सहनशीलता ख़तम हो जा है तब ते घर का नास ऐ स

भाई उस 'पहले' ज़माने का पल्लू कदे छोडोगे या नहीं I तम नै वैसे तो चाहियें सारी चीज़ आधुनिक फैशन की पर लुगाई चाहिए तम्नै 17th शताब्दी की लाजवंती जो थारे चरण दबाती रह रात दिन दासी की तरह I जब वे बराबरी के अधिकार और social status मांगती हैं तो तम्नै वे ही लाजो चुड़ैल दीखन लाग ज्यां सें I या तो तुम अपने आप को भी उसी 17 वीं शताब्दी के परिवेश में ढालो या फेर तम अपनी अपनी अर्धांग्नी के हिसाब से ढल जाओ अगर घर की गाडी ठीक ठाक चलानी सै तो I I

akshaymalik84
October 3rd, 2011, 09:17 PM
छोड़ ते राख्या है .......और इब क चाहो हो की आदमी लुगैया के पाँ दाबे ......आर दाबते भी होंगे क बेरा.........अपनी के नही ते किसे और की के दाबते होंगे .....के करें आधुनिक जमाना ऐ इसा है .....आधुनिकता का नाम ले के किम्मे करे जाओ.

annch
October 3rd, 2011, 09:32 PM
Right said, VP Sir. It takes a secure man to accept and appreciate a woman. Else men, who are utterly lacking self respect or confidence outside, seem to redeem their egos at home, at the expense of their womenfolk, the easy targets. अगर औरतों ने भी ऐसे लोगों का साथ नहीं दिया, तो बेचारे ये लोग कहाँ जायेंगे?...

You are talking about the bygone era when women had to be wholly dependent on their men folks. The landscape of Gender inequality is getting leveled very fast. As for craving of women for a 'dominating' male partner is concerned, it has become a thing of the past. Today's enlightened female give a damn to today's 'fake terminators' who are still suffering from the male hangover of the 'cave era'. Most of such self-proclaimed tigers are 'fake mards' suffering from certain inferiority complexes and sense of insecurity.

gaganjat
October 3rd, 2011, 10:52 PM
Every family is different. Everyone behaves in a differently depending on where they live and, education, family background and bla bla bla.

What applies on A might not apply on B.

Bihar ke gaon ki anpadh ladki ko agar kaho ki tu vo sab kar sakti hai jo new-york ki ik ladki kar sakti hai ,kyoki sab barabar hai to it doesnt make sense. Does it?

Obviously same applies for guys as well in lot of situations but not as much as girls.

If a girl or a guy decides to settle down with their family they got to be really flexible and consider what others want or fu*ck relationships and live by yourself on your own terms if you cant respect the feelings of others .

I hate it when some people who thinks inside the box makes it an issue of equality. Its all about respecting people

rakeshsehrawat
October 4th, 2011, 09:23 AM
फेर तो भाई आपणे बड़े बूढ़े जो धोती पहनते हैं वा ठीक कोन्या क्योंकि उसमे तो आधी टांग उघाड़ी रहवैं सें I आर जब तेज हवा चाल ज्याया करै फेर तो कतई चाला पाट ज्याया करै I इसका मतलब या जीन cultured पहनावा सै I



Waise isiliye dhoti out of fashion ho gayi



:)Bade dhotiya mein jhanko ho ji:)

Prikshit
October 4th, 2011, 09:38 AM
Urmila ji, you being a long time member of JL,I appreciate your contribution to it.
But what I relly don't understand is that you just keep your perception or forces it?
I can see the extreme feminism in you, that is commendable but your supporting ideas at times are not in line with the very idea of feminism.
I know time has changed, but that doesn't mean that every single should change.
There are always some good & bad points about every culture.
Change is gradual, it may take sometime to get reflected.
So constructive ideas are neccessary,simply opposing something is pointless.

Sorry nothing personal,I may be wrong just wrote what I percieved from your posts.

Pardon me if you find it offensive,I will appreciate your clarification on this.


Warm Regards

Prikshit

ravinderjeet
October 4th, 2011, 11:14 AM
भूरलियाँ पे गह्टा जोड़ राख्या स |

urmiladuhan
October 4th, 2011, 11:15 AM
Urmila ji, you being a long time member of JL,I appreciate your contribution to it.
But what I relly don't understand is that you just keep your perception or forces it?
I can see the extreme feminism in you, that is commendable but your supporting ideas at times are not in line with the very idea of feminism.
I know time has changed, but that doesn't mean that every single should change.
There are always some good & bad points about every culture.
Change is gradual, it may take sometime to get reflected.
So constructive ideas are neccessary,simply opposing something is pointless.

Sorry nothing personal,I may be wrong just wrote what I percieved from your posts.

Pardon me if you find it offensive,I will appreciate your clarification on this.


Warm Regards

Prikshit

Prikshit jee, I have simply stated a piece of conversation without accusing anyone of anything. The conversation could be reflective of culture in a typical Jat family in Haryana, India. At the most, I can say that when a superior (FIL) is pointing out adherence to dress code to a junior (DIL), it would be nice if the superior leads by example i.e., lives traditionally.
Pyjama Kurta was looked at fashionably when Dhoti Kurta was the norm and the tradition.

Anyway, everyone to his her own!

rakeshsehrawat
October 4th, 2011, 12:05 PM
12919In rules par zara sa gaur farmayiega

ravinderjeet
October 4th, 2011, 12:11 PM
12919In rules par zara sa gaur farmayiega

प्यार में बावला होया होगा इह छोरी की गेल्याँ | जिब्बे ते इस्सी बावली-बावली शर्तां पे भी बियाह कर लिया |

vicky84
October 4th, 2011, 12:12 PM
12919In rules par zara sa gaur farmayiega

Tere barga manas laage sai yu to.. :tamatar

singhvp
October 4th, 2011, 12:27 PM
waise isiliye dhoti out of fashion ho gayi



:)bade dhotiya mein jhanko ho ji:)

झांकन की जरुरत के सै भाई जब धोती सारे उघाड़ खुद उघाड़ दे सरे-बाज़ार हवा के झोंके के साथ i

rakeshsehrawat
October 4th, 2011, 12:34 PM
Tere barga manas laage sai yu to.. :tamatar

Sahi keh hai bhai

Waise ise ise we paya karein jo apne college ali gel biyah karte ho

singhvp
October 4th, 2011, 12:39 PM
छोड़ ते राख्या है .......और इब क चाहो हो की आदमी लुगैया के पाँ दाबे ......आर दाबते भी होंगे क बेरा.........अपनी के नही ते किसे और की के दाबते होंगे .....के करें आधुनिक जमाना ऐ इसा है .....आधुनिकता का नाम ले के किम्मे करे जाओ.

भाई परदे के पीछे की सारी बात नहीं बताया करदे i परदे के पीछे दुनिया में बहुत कुछ होता है उससे हमें क्या लेना देना i कोई कुछ भी दबाये मगर भीतर की बात दबी रहे तो ज्यादा अच्छा है i

upendersingh
October 4th, 2011, 12:48 PM
छोड़ ते राख्या है .......और इब क चाहो हो की आदमी लुगैया के पाँ दाबे ......आर दाबते भी होंगे क बेरा.........अपनी के नही ते किसे और की के दाबते होंगे .....के करें आधुनिक जमाना ऐ इसा है .....आधुनिकता का नाम ले के किम्मे करे जाओ.

भाई, स्त्री को बिलकुल ही दबाकर रखना भी उचित नहीं है. यदि स्त्री चरित्रवान है, समझदार है तो उसके पैर दबाने में क्या बुराई है? वो तो प्यार करने का ही एक तरीका है. रामकृष्ण परमहंस तो अपनी पत्नी की पूजा करते थे...

http://ri.rediffiland.com/homepimages/home4/247/b559be323cb7d4c79bbd65836ad3c456/homep/images/1193143033
The devi who lived here
Sarada Devi (1853-1920) was the wife of Sri Ramakrishna Paramhansa. They had an unusual relationship: a celibate marriage that sublimated into a deep spiritual connection. Sri Ramakrishna saw the Devi in her and actually worshiped his wife as such. During his lifetime, Sarada Devi kept a very low profile, taking great care of his husband. After his death, she suffered at the hands of some of her own relatives, but bore it all with patient faith. Her gentle personality began to attract many devotees and she became a widely loved and respected spiritual persona in her own right.

akshaymalik84
October 4th, 2011, 01:02 PM
भाई परदे के पीछे की सारी बात नहीं बताया करदे i परदे के पीछे दुनिया में बहुत कुछ होता है उससे हमें क्या लेना देना i कोई कुछ भी दबाये मगर भीतर की बात दबी रहे तो ज्यादा अच्छा है i

वि पि जी ...इस थरेअद की पहली पोस्ट भी घर के अंदर की ही बात है ......और जहाँ तक मेरा मानना है औरत को अपने घर की बात घर से बाहर नहीं कहनी चाहिए.....अगर कोई लड़की शादी क बाद अपने ससुराल की परिस्थितियों के अनुसार अपने आप को नहीं ढाल पाती तो इसका मतलब ये नहीं की वो घर से बाहर ये बात फैलाये (ध्यान रहे घर से बाहर में लड़की का मायका भी आता है जो आज कल की लड़कियां समझ नहीं पाती.......ये मोबाइल आज कल शादियों को बर्बाद कर रहे है..... क्यूँ......छोरी मिनट मिनट की खबर अपने मायके में दे है ....इब नु होया इब नु होया ).

दूसरी और वो जो दूसरो के घरो की बातें बड़े चटकारे ले के सुनते है और उनको आर्गुमेंट करने का एक बहाना देते है जैसा की इस वार्तालाप में है ......."तू अपने सुसरे ते नुए क्यूँ न पूछती की तू धोती क्यूँ न पहनता"........और यही टोपिक लेखिका न जाटलैंड पे पोस्ट कर दिया की दुसरे इस बारे में क्या सोचते है. लेखिका को ये कहने की बजाये की तुम अपने ससुर की बात मान लिया करो ......कितनी बार तुमको उनके सामने जाना होता है ....दिन में हद मार के १५-२० मिनट .....उसमे भी पल्लू करने में क्या जाता है ...... लेखिका उसको बता रही है की अपने ससुर से पूछो की वो धोती क्यूँ नहीं पहनते........

क्या ये ही आधुनिकता की परिभाषा है?

vicky84
October 4th, 2011, 01:23 PM
Sahi keh hai bhai

Waise ise ise we paya karein jo apne college ali gel biyah karte ho

Arr Jatland pai toh kai bhi hahahahahahaha :rock :rock

prashantacmet
October 4th, 2011, 01:24 PM
वि पि जी ...इस थरेअद की पहली पोस्ट भी घर के अंदर की ही बात है ......और जहाँ तक मेरा मानना है औरत को अपने घर की बात घर से बाहर नहीं कहनी चाहिए.....अगर कोई लड़की शादी क बाद अपने ससुराल की परिस्थितियों के अनुसार अपने आप को नहीं ढाल पाती तो इसका मतलब ये नहीं की वो घर से बाहर ये बात फैलाये (ध्यान रहे घर से बाहर में लड़की का मायका भी आता है जो आज कल की लड़कियां समझ नहीं पाती.......ये मोबाइल आज कल शादियों को बर्बाद कर रहे है..... क्यूँ......छोरी मिनट मिनट की खबर अपने मायके में दे है ....इब नु होया इब नु होया ).

दूसरी और वो जो दूसरो के घरो की बातें बड़े चटकारे ले के सुनते है और उनको आर्गुमेंट करने का एक बहाना देते है जैसा की इस वार्तालाप में है ......."तू अपने सुसरे ते नुए क्यूँ न पूछती की तू धोती क्यूँ न पहनता"........और यही टोपिक लेखिका न जाटलैंड पे पोस्ट कर दिया की दुसरे इस बारे में क्या सोचते है. लेखिका को ये कहने की बजाये की तुम अपने ससुर की बात मान लिया करो ......कितनी बार तुमको उनके सामने जाना होता है ....दिन में हद मार के १५-२० मिनट .....उसमे भी पल्लू करने में क्या जाता है ...... लेखिका उसको बता रही है की अपने ससुर से पूछो की वो धोती क्यूँ नहीं पहनते........

क्या ये ही आधुनिकता की परिभाषा है?
sahi kahi bhai......doosre ke ghar ka naas karan main koi radak kona chhodta

singhvp
October 4th, 2011, 01:37 PM
वि पि जी ...इस थरेअद की पहली पोस्ट भी घर के अंदर की ही बात है ......और जहाँ तक मेरा मानना है औरत को अपने घर की बात घर से बाहर नहीं कहनी चाहिए.....अगर कोई लड़की शादी क बाद अपने ससुराल की परिस्थितियों के अनुसार अपने आप को नहीं ढाल पाती तो इसका मतलब ये नहीं की वो घर से बाहर ये बात फैलाये (ध्यान रहे घर से बाहर में लड़की का मायका भी आता है जो आज कल की लड़कियां समझ नहीं पाती.......ये मोबाइल आज कल शादियों को बर्बाद कर रहे है..... क्यूँ......छोरी मिनट मिनट की खबर अपने मायके में दे है ....इब नु होया इब नु होया ).

दूसरी और वो जो दूसरो के घरो की बातें बड़े चटकारे ले के सुनते है और उनको आर्गुमेंट करने का एक बहाना देते है जैसा की इस वार्तालाप में है ......."तू अपने सुसरे ते नुए क्यूँ न पूछती की तू धोती क्यूँ न पहनता"........और यही टोपिक लेखिका न जाटलैंड पे पोस्ट कर दिया की दुसरे इस बारे में क्या सोचते है. लेखिका को ये कहने की बजाये की तुम अपने ससुर की बात मान लिया करो ......कितनी बार तुमको उनके सामने जाना होता है ....दिन में हद मार के १५-२० मिनट .....उसमे भी पल्लू करने में क्या जाता है ...... लेखिका उसको बता रही है की अपने ससुर से पूछो की वो धोती क्यूँ नहीं पहनते........

क्या ये ही आधुनिकता की परिभाषा है?

अक्षय मैं आपकी कुछ बातों से सहमत हूँ ; जैसे औरतों को घर की बात बाहर नहीं बतानी चाहिए, लडकी को ससुराल की परिस्थितियों के अनुसार ढालना चाहिए, मोबाइल का दुरूपयोग नहीं करना चाहिए यानि अपने मायके में ससुराल की सारी बातें बढ़ा चढ़ा कर नहीं बतानी चाहिए क्योंकि छोटी मोटी बात सब घरों में होती रहती हैं i इसके दो फायदे होंगे मोबाइल का बिल भी कम आयेगा और ससुराल में तकरार भी कम होगी i और यह भी सही है कि ससुरे को धोती पहनने के लिए मजबूर नहीं किया जाना चाहिए क्योंकि ससुरा तो बूढा आदमी है कुछ भी पहन ले घर की लाज को कोई खतरा नहीं परन्तु बहू को अपनी वेश-भूषा का थोडा ध्यान तो रखना ही पड़ेगा और यह सही है कि कोई एसा वैसा पहरावा जिससे शरीर के curves उजागर होते हों वो तो बिलकुल नहीं पहनना चाहिए, बेकार में लोग फब्तियां कसेंगे, फेर घरवालों का दिल जलेगा i आजकल माहौल भी बहुत अच्छा नहीं है, फिजूल में मनचले लड़के गाना गायेंगे : गौरी चलो ना हंस की चाल, जमाना दुश्मन है i सो बहुओं को भी थोडा ध्यान करना चाहिए i और यहाँ पर उर्मिला जी ने भी अपना मत स्पष्ट नहीं किया कि उनकी क्या सोच है इस बारे में i सो लेखिका के बारे में आपकी टिपण्णी भी सही है i उर्मिला जी संभवतया इस पर अपनी टिपण्णी जरूर देंगी i

ससुराल वालों से सींग फंसाना आधुनिकता की परिभाषा बिलकुल नहीं है i

सारांश यह है कि आपकी यह पोस्ट अच्छी और संजीदा थी और मुझे वाकई अच्छी लगी i

urmiladuhan
October 4th, 2011, 01:43 PM
12919In rules par zara sa gaur farmayiega

shaadi nahi aapnee jail karwayee hae!

vicky84
October 4th, 2011, 01:49 PM
shaadi nahi aapnee jail karwayee hae!
hahahahahahaha......

urmiladuhan
October 4th, 2011, 01:54 PM
प्यार में बावला होया होगा इह छोरी की गेल्याँ | जिब्बे ते इस्सी बावली-बावली शर्तां पे भी बियाह कर लिया |

koi aur milee nahee hogee - desperation mae kar leeya yo pagalpan

Arvindc
October 4th, 2011, 03:19 PM
Freedom or a necessity? Isn't it against our culture to make a daughter-in-law work a job? But I guess, when it comes to money, our traditions are flexible.
Women have always contributed to the family earnings, it's just that the methods have changed with time. Whether it is in fields, animal husbandry or other 'little' contribution that "saved" money (remember money saved is money earned), they have all done it since the Vedic era.

Stating that "doing a job for daughter-in-law is against culture" would be a gross misunderstanding of the culture. This stance got erupted in an erra, when 'jobs' were limited to working for the Zamindars and likes, where the respect of the women was at the mercy of the Zamindars. Today, there are cases where women are respected at the workplace more then their homes.

reenu
October 4th, 2011, 03:21 PM
Very well written....Fully agree with Akshay ji....Modernism does not say "Don't respect your elders". Modernism encouraged the re-examination of every aspect of existence, from commerce to philosophy, with the goal of finding that which was 'holding back' progress, and replacing it with new ways of reaching the same end, its not about to degrade culture.
.


वि पि जी ...इस थरेअद की पहली पोस्ट भी घर के अंदर की ही बात है ......और जहाँ तक मेरा मानना है औरत को अपने घर की बात घर से बाहर नहीं कहनी चाहिए.....अगर कोई लड़की शादी क बाद अपने ससुराल की परिस्थितियों के अनुसार अपने आप को नहीं ढाल पाती तो इसका मतलब ये नहीं की वो घर से बाहर ये बात फैलाये (ध्यान रहे घर से बाहर में लड़की का मायका भी आता है जो आज कल की लड़कियां समझ नहीं पाती.......ये मोबाइल आज कल शादियों को बर्बाद कर रहे है..... क्यूँ......छोरी मिनट मिनट की खबर अपने मायके में दे है ....इब नु होया इब नु होया ).

दूसरी और वो जो दूसरो के घरो की बातें बड़े चटकारे ले के सुनते है और उनको आर्गुमेंट करने का एक बहाना देते है जैसा की इस वार्तालाप में है ......."तू अपने सुसरे ते नुए क्यूँ न पूछती की तू धोती क्यूँ न पहनता"........और यही टोपिक लेखिका न जाटलैंड पे पोस्ट कर दिया की दुसरे इस बारे में क्या सोचते है. लेखिका को ये कहने की बजाये की तुम अपने ससुर की बात मान लिया करो ......कितनी बार तुमको उनके सामने जाना होता है ....दिन में हद मार के १५-२० मिनट .....उसमे भी पल्लू करने में क्या जाता है ...... लेखिका उसको बता रही है की अपने ससुर से पूछो की वो धोती क्यूँ नहीं पहनते........

क्या ये ही आधुनिकता की परिभाषा है?

cooljat
October 4th, 2011, 03:50 PM
You're talking like a feminist Sir ji. :)

I believe men and women are same though they both have their own differences. I was talking about those very differences not the gender inequality or supremacy n' those differences should be respected well.

I disagree with the statement when a woman says she's strong enough and don't long for a strong, dominating husband. If someone still deny this point, she is either very masculine or telling a lie cuz' a real woman always crave for strong and dominating partner. You can't change basic instincts!


You are talking about the bygone era when women had to be wholly dependent on their men folks. The landscape of Gender inequality is getting leveled very fast. As for craving of women for a 'dominating' male partner is concerned, it has become a thing of the past. Today's enlightened female give a damn to today's 'fake terminators' who are still suffering from the male hangover of the 'cave era'. Most of such self-proclaimed tigers are 'fake mards' suffering from certain inferiority complexes and sense of insecurity.

Arvindc
October 4th, 2011, 03:57 PM
You are talking about the bygone era when women had to be wholly dependent on their men folks. The landscape of Gender inequality is getting leveled very fast. As for craving of women for a 'dominating' male partner is concerned, it has become a thing of the past. Today's enlightened female give a damn to today's 'fake terminators' who are still suffering from the male hangover of the 'cave era'. Most of such self-proclaimed tigers are 'fake mards' suffering from certain inferiority complexes and sense of insecurity.

These are the same "enlightened female" jenki ek chuha, chipkali (lizard) dekhtai he tai-tai-fis ho jati hai.

How many of these "enlightened females" can do financial and other planning for the house independently? Most of these "enlightened females" demand equality only for power and independence and not for responsibility and interdependence. They are rarely fit for a head of the house position.

While these facts are essential to ponder upon, the blame should not go to the females. Many of them are certainly doing more than what the environment had taught them when they were growing up. They were not brought-up for the change that has come so fast. Even today, there are little opportunities for them to learn and experience the equality that everyone is talking about.

Genders apart, the power should only go to the person who can handle it with responsibility.

rakeshsehrawat
October 4th, 2011, 03:57 PM
Freedom or a necessity? Isn't it against our culture to make a daughter-in-law work a job? But I guess, when it comes to money, our traditions are flexible.

कई बार मन्ने इसा लागे है जणू कई जाटलैंडर अवतरित होए हैं के होया करता के हों लाग रहया है किसे बात का नहीं बेरा !
म्हारे बूढ़े खेता में काम करा करते उन ने म्हारे माँ बाबु स्कूल में खंदा दिए आर उनमे तें दस बीस प्रतिशत बहरमी कर गए पांच सात प्रतिशत सरकारी नौकरी पकड़ गए ! मेरे बचपन की ए बता दयु जयराम कुम्हार की दुकान पे अख़बार आया करता रिसल्ट दीखान का अट्ठानी लिया करता आर गाम में तें कुल दो चार बालक आया करते अर साँझ ताहि गाम में रुका पात जाया करता भाई गाम में चार बालक पास होगे एक नाते सुनार का एक शाश्त्री मास्टर का एक परले पाने में सूरजभान का पोता अर भाई एक होया है रविंदरजित (चोखा भाई यु छोरा पास हो गया इबके जदय में इसका बियाह है तीन बार अटक लिया था ) ! बाकी बचे होए मानस गाम में के करा करते ? तडके हुक्का ले के बैठ जाते तासा पे अर सारे ज़माने का बोझ ठा के "भाई देवीलाल भोत बढ़िया मानस था यू बेरा न कित का चौटाला है इबके दो हफ्ते हो गए नेहर में पानी नहीं आया ! मिल ने गंडा लेना बंद कर दिया चलो रोड जम करंगे ! लुगाई के करा करती ? हाथ आली चाकी तो मानने देखि नहीं हाथ आली रई भी तावली ए जा ली थी फेर भी चार बजे उठो ! म्हैंसा आगे सानी गेरो गोबर गेर के आओ धर काढो बालका ने थाओ स्कूल खातर तयार करो रोटी बनाओ !सबने खुवाओ भांडे मांजो खेत में जाओ न्यार लाओ न्यार लेके आओ! झड बुहारी डंगर संभालो न्यार काटो म्हैंसा आगे गेरो बालका ने के के उधमस तारे उन ने देखो ! धार काढो म्हैंसा के थान में सुका करो रोटी टूका करो बालका ने खुवाओ ! दूध जमाओ भांडे मांजो ( काढोनी बिलोनी भी) ! इब बालक पढ़ लिख गए नौकरी पेशा हो गए पढ़ी लिखी बहु आ गयी व तो गोबर के हाथ न लावे कहगी " मुझसे नहीं होगा मम्मी जी मदर डेरी का दूध ले लेंगे " इतने बड़े घर में पोचा कौन लगाएगा ? कामवाली रख लेते हैं में तो नौकरी करुँगी! इब व तो चल दी नौकरी करण उसने के बेरा लोग उसकी नौकरी ने मम्मी जी की मजबूरी माने बैठे हैं !
जाट किते न नोटा के भूखे एक झटके में कांच लिकड़ गयी थी पूरे देश की इतिहास गवाह है जब जब मंदी आयी इस देश को ग्रामीण भारत ने उबारा है अर न तो थम जया साल छ महीने इब दिख जगा ! इब खेती के दाम मदे से बढे हैं लोग इसमें कुकण लाग लिए खैर वो सब बाद की बातें हैं ! अभी बात चल रही थी की वो उसके ससुर की मजबूरी है की वो अपनी बहु को नौकरी पे भेजता है हाँ वो मजबूरी है पर इसलिए नहीं की उसे बहु से पैसा कमवाना है उसके कारण हैं
घर बैठी सासु बहु के खोस्ड़े नहीं बजेंगे
बहु पड़ी लिखी है पर गोबर में वा पढाई गोबर हो जावेगी
कल ने बूढ़ा बूढी ने तो जाना है बेटा न्यू न कह दे मेरे आली ताहि नौकरी नहीं कारण दी न तो में टाटा बन जाता
बहु ने घर का काम तो करना नहीं कम तें कम इसे बहाने टेम पास हो जागा
और भतेरे कारण हैं इब ओड बड़ी रामायण लिख दी आप समझ जाओगे भतेरे समझदार हो !

Arvindc
October 4th, 2011, 04:20 PM
A part of real conversation with my Jaatni friend, who lives in a small town of Haryana:

She: my father in law dictates what I should or should not wear. For example, covering my head at my work place is a MUST! Wearing of neck jewellery is a must. According to the FIL, tradition must be maintained - it looks good.

Me: What does the FIL wear?

She: Pyjama Kurta.

Me: (Laughs) Why not a Dhoti Kurta? Tradition must be maintained, isn't it so?

She: No answer!

The question is not about "tradition" or "culture". It is not about what is "right" or "wrong". Neither it is about "Gender equality". I am sure most of the mother-in-laws say the same.

The question is about the problems of generation-gap.

In my view, the solution lies in awareness and acceptance of this gap. Both should understand and accept that the difference in views are due to the generation gap and not due to what is wrong or what is right. Both, should device a mutual way out, respecting each others views.

Due consideration should be given to the age, it would be hard for the aged-brain to learn. Younger ones should show "more" flexibility.

kapdal
October 4th, 2011, 06:12 PM
I disagree with the statement when a woman says she's strong enough and don't long for a strong, dominating husband. If someone still deny this point, she is either very masculine or telling a lie cuz' a real woman always crave for strong and dominating partner. You can't change basic instincts!

Bhai Jit, how do you know so much about women? I can understand if a girl says "a real woman always crave for strong and dominating partner"- not because she would be right. But atleast as a girl, she can talk about her own basic instincts and cravings. I am not sure how a guy who has even had 10 relationships with women can say that- because all these women can just be lying to please the guy's ego!

If a woman says she does not want a strong, dominating husband- why does she have to be masculine/liar as a matter of FACT?

Also you are saying that to be masculine is to be dominating. What does this domination mean? A king dominates by conquering other kings. A businessman dominates by beating the competition. A sportsman/artist dominates by excelling in his field. It is not so clear in a relationship. There are several types of domination- which one do you mean?

1. Financial: I earn money, so I decide what we do with it- go to cinema, send children to private school, etc etc.
2. Housekeeping: I run the household, so I decide what happens inside- What gets cooked, what furniture goes where, etc.
3. Physical: I am physically stronger. So I beat the crap out of you and treat you like my slave.
4. Personality: I speak all the time, decide on what you are going to do all the time. You don't challenge me or $hit is going to hit the roof (refer to the cartoon posted earlier for examples)
5. Emotional: I use emotional blackmail to get you to do "voluntarily" what you won't have done otherwise. Sort of thing Gandhi did in politics, many people do that in their homes.
6. Bedroom: You know what..

There may be more. Clearly, a woman can dominate on atleast some aspects of that list (whether you like it or not). This has nothing to do with tradition, culture, respect and other such blah blah. Traditionally, the world had kings who thought that "yuddh hi veer ka pramaan hai". But in the same history, we had Asoka who followed the buddhist principle of being a "chakravarti" samrat- ruling a welfare empire. While, in the modern world, we still have US that thinks like traditional kings. Similarly, there were always individuals in the past who didn't think that to be masculine means to dominate and to be feminine means to be dominated.

Talking about current times- forget India, maybe that's what being an Indian means to you. That men have to be strong and dominating and women have to be meek and dominated. But is this your sense of Aussies as well- that ALL women crave for strong and dominating partner? I say that because I don't think this sort of viewpoint would go down well with many Aussies, especially females.

singhvp
October 4th, 2011, 06:14 PM
You're talking like a feminist Sir ji. :)

I believe men and women are same though they both have their own differences. I was talking about those very differences not the gender inequality or supremacy n' those differences should be respected well.

I disagree with the statement when a woman says she's strong enough and don't long for a strong, dominating husband. If someone still deny this point, she is either very masculine or telling a lie cuz' a real woman always crave for strong and dominating partner. You can't change basic instincts!

Jit, I am against all sorts of bullying, exploitation and injustice irrespective of gender of the victims. You may draw any inference from my sympathy with the aggrieved party which happen to be females in this thread.

Here we have been discussing about the social parity between the male and female in our society and not about their biological features. I know physically nature has made all masculine creatures stronger than their female counterparts. But as far as craving for a sturdy and dominating partner is concerned the urge is equally strong and burning from both sides. The male partner would also not like to have any weak and frail partner. So, it is something reciprocal and nothing to celebrate for us - the males.

annch
October 4th, 2011, 06:24 PM
It is so easy to twist the context, and not stick with discussion and make it personal on the forum.
There are always two sides of the coin, and the part of the reason why we are where we are in the society (do I need to say where we are?) is because we live in the glory of one side of the coin, and fail to acknowledge the other side of the coin. You take an example and make it into a universal truth, while refusing to accept the counter example.
Why marry an educated and professionally qualified girl in the first place? Why not clear before the girl and her parents what your expectations are before marriage, rather then lament about it later when she follows a career and not do household work? Why not marry a girl who is just literate in basics (or not even that) and good at household work?
It is not easy to earn a living. Who would know this better than you, being a man? Is it an easy role to play as a provider? Since you believe in the universal truths prevalent on the internet, you will come across several articles about women having to work harder than men to attain the same position , and also get paid less than the man in the same position. Which role would a woman prefer then- the comfort of the home looking after the family, or the hostile work environment and the society, especially our community, ready to put a stigma on her.
I guess it helps to bring down your own guilt and justify it as "freedom" and all that when a daughter-in-law gets out to work. It is understandable for you to do that, blame it on the daughter-in-law, when the neighbors/society says- ये तो छोरी / बहु की कमाई खा से!

कई बार मन्ने इसा लागे है जणू कई जाटलैंडर अवतरित होए हैं के होया करता के हों लाग रहया है किसे बात का नहीं बेरा !
म्हारे बूढ़े खेता में काम करा करते उन ने म्हारे माँ बाबु स्कूल में खंदा दिए आर उनमे तें दस बीस प्रतिशत बहरमी कर गए पांच सात प्रतिशत सरकारी नौकरी पकड़ गए ! मेरे बचपन की ए बता दयु जयराम कुम्हार की दुकान पे अख़बार आया करता रिसल्ट दीखान का अट्ठानी लिया करता आर गाम में तें कुल दो चार बालक आया करते अर साँझ ताहि गाम में रुका पात जाया करता भाई गाम में चार बालक पास होगे एक नाते सुनार का एक शाश्त्री मास्टर का एक परले पाने में सूरजभान का पोता अर भाई एक होया है रविंदरजित (चोखा भाई यु छोरा पास हो गया इबके जदय में इसका बियाह है तीन बार अटक लिया था ) ! बाकी बचे होए मानस गाम में के करा करते ? तडके हुक्का ले के बैठ जाते तासा पे अर सारे ज़माने का बोझ ठा के "भाई देवीलाल भोत बढ़िया मानस था यू बेरा न कित का चौटाला है इबके दो हफ्ते हो गए नेहर में पानी नहीं आया ! मिल ने गंडा लेना बंद कर दिया चलो रोड जम करंगे ! लुगाई के करा करती ? हाथ आली चाकी तो मानने देखि नहीं हाथ आली रई भी तावली ए जा ली थी फेर भी चार बजे उठो ! म्हैंसा आगे सानी गेरो गोबर गेर के आओ धर काढो बालका ने थाओ स्कूल खातर तयार करो रोटी बनाओ !सबने खुवाओ भांडे मांजो खेत में जाओ न्यार लाओ न्यार लेके आओ! झड बुहारी डंगर संभालो न्यार काटो म्हैंसा आगे गेरो बालका ने के के उधमस तारे उन ने देखो ! धार काढो म्हैंसा के थान में सुका करो रोटी टूका करो बालका ने खुवाओ ! दूध जमाओ भांडे मांजो ( काढोनी बिलोनी भी) ! इब बालक पढ़ लिख गए नौकरी पेशा हो गए पढ़ी लिखी बहु आ गयी व तो गोबर के हाथ न लावे कहगी " मुझसे नहीं होगा मम्मी जी मदर डेरी का दूध ले लेंगे " इतने बड़े घर में पोचा कौन लगाएगा ? कामवाली रख लेते हैं में तो नौकरी करुँगी! इब व तो चल दी नौकरी करण उसने के बेरा लोग उसकी नौकरी ने मम्मी जी की मजबूरी माने बैठे हैं !
जाट किते न नोटा के भूखे एक झटके में कांच लिकड़ गयी थी पूरे देश की इतिहास गवाह है जब जब मंदी आयी इस देश को ग्रामीण भारत ने उबारा है अर न तो थम जया साल छ महीने इब दिख जगा ! इब खेती के दाम मदे से बढे हैं लोग इसमें कुकण लाग लिए खैर वो सब बाद की बातें हैं ! अभी बात चल रही थी की वो उसके ससुर की मजबूरी है की वो अपनी बहु को नौकरी पे भेजता है हाँ वो मजबूरी है पर इसलिए नहीं की उसे बहु से पैसा कमवाना है उसके कारण हैं
घर बैठी सासु बहु के खोस्ड़े नहीं बजेंगे
बहु पड़ी लिखी है पर गोबर में वा पढाई गोबर हो जावेगी
कल ने बूढ़ा बूढी ने तो जाना है बेटा न्यू न कह दे मेरे आली ताहि नौकरी नहीं कारण दी न तो में टाटा बन जाता
बहु ने घर का काम तो करना नहीं कम तें कम इसे बहाने टेम पास हो जागा
और भतेरे कारण हैं इब ओड बड़ी रामायण लिख दी आप समझ जाओगे भतेरे समझदार हो !

kapdal
October 4th, 2011, 06:38 PM
A part of real conversation with my Jaatni friend, who lives in a small town of Haryana:

She: my father in law dictates what I should or should not wear. For example, covering my head at my work place is a MUST! Wearing of neck jewellery is a must. According to the FIL, tradition must be maintained - it looks good.

Me: What does the FIL wear?

She: Pyjama Kurta.

Me: (Laughs) Why not a Dhoti Kurta? Tradition must be maintained, isn't it so?

She: No answer!

Similar restrictions can be imposed by one's father. The ensuing discussion has taken a clear "in laws" vs girl angle. Everyone carries their own burden of tradition/culture. It is best to marry into a family where the burden is as close to your own family as possible. And then be realistic about it, and not look at others and feel perenially aggrieved about "grass being greener on the other side of the fence".

If the point is about a female's opposition to such burdens imposed by "traditions", wheresoever it comes from, it is a completely different topic. As an amateur history enthusiast, I am only amused when people talk about traditions/culture and what not- coming from a grand total of 40 years. All of us have history going back to thousands of years. Lots changed in between and lot will change in future. When people talk about tradition, it is usually- this is what I SAW when I was X years old and this was great and how it should be. None of these people could possibly live in the society and value system that was prevalent 400 years back (more traditional than 40), leave alone 4000 years back (much more traditional than 40).

Our lifestyle now in a free/democratic/sovereign India is different from our lifestyle in a British India is different from our lifestyle in a Mughal India is different from our lifestyle in Mauryan/Gupta India is different from our lifestyle in Vedic India. If we were indeed Buddhist once upon a time (as some people tell us), then the status of women would have been much higher than it was subsequently in Islamic and British times.

urmiladuhan
October 4th, 2011, 08:00 PM
A part of real conversation with my Jaatni friend, who lives in a small town of Haryana:

She: my father in law dictates what I should or should not wear. For example, covering my head at my work place is a MUST! Wearing of neck jewellery is a must. According to the FIL, tradition must be maintained - it looks good.

Me: What does the FIL wear?

She: Pyjama Kurta.

Me: (Laughs) Why not a Dhoti Kurta? Tradition must be maintained, isn't it so?

She: No answer!

The bottom line being - Woman, Stop Complaining and instead do something about your social problems. If you don't want to do anything about it then just Take It because then you surely deserve it!

urmiladuhan
October 4th, 2011, 08:12 PM
Similar restrictions can be imposed by one's father. Everyone carries their own burden of tradition/culture.

Rightly said!.

Also charity begins at home!

rakeshsehrawat
October 5th, 2011, 09:48 AM
It is so easy to twist the context, and not stick with discussion and make it personal on the forum.
There are always two sides of the coin, and the part of the reason why we are where we are in the society (do I need to say where we are?) is because we live in the glory of one side of the coin, and fail to acknowledge the other side of the coin. You take an example and make it into a universal truth, while refusing to accept the counter example.
Why marry an educated and professionally qualified girl in the first place? Why not clear before the girl and her parents what your expectations are before marriage, rather then lament about it later when she follows a career and not do household work? Why not marry a girl who is just literate in basics (or not even that) and good at household work?
It is not easy to earn a living. Who would know this better than you, being a man? Is it an easy role to play as a provider? Since you believe in the universal truths prevalent on the internet, you will come across several articles about women having to work harder than men to attain the same position , and also get paid less than the man in the same position. Which role would a woman prefer then- the comfort of the home looking after the family, or the hostile work environment and the society, especially our community, ready to put a stigma on her.
I guess it helps to bring down your own guilt and justify it as "freedom" and all that when a daughter-in-law gets out to work. It is understandable for you to do that, blame it on the daughter-in-law, when the neighbors/society says- ये तो छोरी / बहु की कमाई खा से!

Let us start from ending

Log nyu kehya karein ye to chori(there is difference between chori and bahu i think) ki kamai khawenge
bahu beta kaman khater e hoya karein pehlam khet mein kamaya karte aaj naukri karke kamawe hain
I don't think men our society are that much shameless that they ask their wife to go and do the job forcefully in more then 90% of cases it is choice of female to go for a job and in more then 25% cases female forces to do so.

I never said that it is not harder for women to get same position and package as her male counterpart.

You are saying like every women is doing job now a days still females work at home. A professionally qualified person prefers a literate wife reasons for which are
as he is doing job and many times living away from parents or in a new city where it becomes difficult for a men to handle responsibilities of household with job. so duties are assigned and while assigning duties you need certain level of qualifications. I don't know exactly but i think in most cases "ye khol shadi tay hone se pehle hi ho jati hai ki tham mhari chori ne nukri karwaoge ke nahi ? aur ye sawal 99% ladki wale poochte hain. I had already said there is comfort in household today but i also gave reasons for job from side of male and you are saying that female is forced form side of male to leave that comfort and get into hard earning field so i will say that kick butts of that idiot if you are capable of earning go and enjoy your own life.

KBC mein parso ek Ambala ki lady thee 3oct
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hx5FvClvQfU

Aur ek lady thee 29 sept ko
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3Z8Pmtd158

Both are earning you will spot the difference

as you say there are two sides of coin so you also need to look from my side and i am not saying anything for personal reasons i told general things. If it seems only pointing to you then i am sorry.
I was stuck with topic throughout except first line first i made a plot then i put my point. There is nothing like universal truth what i am saying is general things from jat families which i belong and this is not particularly about my family i think at age of 30 i have seen enough villages of jats to conclude what i had said.

annch
October 5th, 2011, 05:06 PM
न आप और न मै सबके घरों की बात जानते है! न यह जानते है की औरो के घर की सच्चाई क्या है१ फिर हम कैसे दावा कर सकते है कि "बस जो मैंने कहा, सुना और देखा वही सत्य है! हमारे समाज में ऐसे ही होता है"? और क्या गलत है यह मान लेने में कि जाट भी "इंसान" है, महान सही, बलवान सही, पर है फिर भी इंसान! तो फिर जो मानवीय अभिलक्षण और इंसानों में है, वोह जाटों में क्यूँ नहीं होंगे? सरल पुराना जमाना बीत गया, आज जीने और कामयाबी के नियम बदल चुके है! पुराने शास्त्रों से आज की लड़ाई लड़ेंगे तोह जीत किस्सकी होगी, यह सब जानते है!
My grandmothers were illiterate, and they successfully handled household work and division of labor.That was then. This is now.The playing field has changed. I cannot expect men to be like my grand fathers, and women to be like my grand mothers. But, one thing that I still expect to continue is the mutual respect between genders.
I agree that some women work because of their own ambition, some for supporting the family, some out of necessity, some out of pressure from parents/in-laws, there can be so many reasons, or combination of all these, and not just one reason that you or I gave.

I appreciate your viewpoint, not just in this thread but in others too. The only purpose of my posts is to try and broaden the limited outlook by giving a different example and adding another perspective to the discussion.

Let us start from ending

Log nyu kehya karein ye to chori(there is difference between chori and bahu i think) ki kamai khawenge
bahu beta kaman khater e hoya karein pehlam khet mein kamaya karte aaj naukri karke kamawe hain
I don't think men our society are that much shameless that they ask their wife to go and do the job forcefully in more then 90% of cases it is choice of female to go for a job and in more then 25% cases female forces to do so.

I never said that it is not harder for women to get same position and package as her male counterpart.

You are saying like every women is doing job now a days still females work at home. A professionally qualified person prefers a literate wife reasons for which are
as he is doing job and many times living away from parents or in a new city where it becomes difficult for a men to handle responsibilities of household with job. so duties are assigned and while assigning duties you need certain level of qualifications. I don't know exactly but i think in most cases "ye khol shadi tay hone se pehle hi ho jati hai ki tham mhari chori ne nukri karwaoge ke nahi ? aur ye sawal 99% ladki wale poochte hain. I had already said there is comfort in household today but i also gave reasons for job from side of male and you are saying that female is forced form side of male to leave that comfort and get into hard earning field so i will say that kick butts of that idiot if you are capable of earning go and enjoy your own life.

KBC mein parso ek Ambala ki lady thee 3oct
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hx5FvClvQfU

Aur ek lady thee 29 sept ko
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3Z8Pmtd158

Both are earning you will spot the difference

as you say there are two sides of coin so you also need to look from my side and i am not saying anything for personal reasons i told general things. If it seems only pointing to you then i am sorry.
I was stuck with topic throughout except first line first i made a plot then i put my point. There is nothing like universal truth what i am saying is general things from jat families which i belong and this is not particularly about my family i think at age of 30 i have seen enough villages of jats to conclude what i had said.

thukrela
October 5th, 2011, 10:57 PM
प्राणी मनुष्य सिर्फ अपने फायदे के लिए ही उसूल-धरम-ईमान जैसी चीजों का राग अलापता है
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दुनिया हैरत से भरी है!! !