tHE aGe fAcToR !

[Dagar25]

Dear JATlAnDeRs,

dOn'T you tHiNk thAt age of every member should be included in his MEMBER CARD(brief intro.), which is shown left to his post. Like one's joining month and year, posts, wiki edits etc. are written, Age should also be included. communication would improve and elders would get respect. One's reply may change if he knows the age of the person before him. most of the brothers would say.......visit one's profile.....but it is not feasible to visit the profile for knowing one's age....as it takes too much time especially where internet services are poor.


Maybe I am wrong but i think AgE faCtOr matters in ouR cOmmuniTy.

[rajninarwal]

Dear JATlAnDeRs,

dOn'T you tHiNk thAt age of every member should be included in his MEMBER CARD(brief intro.), which is shown left to his post. Like one's joining month and year, posts, wiki edits etc. are written, Age should also be included. communication would improve and elders would get respect. One's reply may change if he knows the age of the person before him. most of the brothers would say.......visit one's profile.....but it is not feasible to visit the profile for knowing one's age....as it takes too much time especially where internet services are poor.


Maybe I am wrong but i think AgE faCtOr matters in ouR cOmmuniTy.


I agree Ajay. Very good suggestion.Age should be mentioned.My vote with you.

[Sure]

Why only age matters sakal bhi matter karti hai ooski aawaz bhi matter karti oosne kaise kapde pahane hain ye bhi matter karte hain kya kya hona chahiye post par ye moderaters par kyun ni chhod deta tanne ke ke chahiye

[sjakhars]

There is an option to display age/date of birth etc. in members' profile. Members show it or not, it's their personal choice. It is not mandatory to have your picture in profile and show your age.

[Sure]

Thanks for ur reply Jakhar sahab

[Dagar25]

There is an option to display age/date of birth etc. in members' profile. Members show it or not, it's their personal choice. It is not mandatory to have your picture in profile and show your age.

Yes Sir.....there is an option but it would show his age on his profile only and not in his MEMBER CARD which is displayed left to his post. Going to one's profile while replying to him is not feasible as it involves a lot of data traffic and in turn a lot of time. I have shown my age in my profile but it is not showing in my MEMBER CARD(brief Intro.)

[Dagar25]

I agree Ajay. Very good suggestion.Age should be mentioned.My vote with you.

thanks for suporting.........OUr replies would be different if we know each others age.

[JSRana]

Dear Ajay,

A sensible & valuable suggestion, i fully support your views.

With Thanks

[rajninarwal]

There is an option to display age/date of birth etc. in members' profile. Members show it or not, it's their personal choice. It is not mandatory to have your picture in profile and show your age.

@Sitaram Jakhad Ji...agree it's not mandate to mention his/her age or to display a pic, sir.But it can be displayed at least for those who have mentioned it on their profile and they are willing to display it.

[urmiladuhan]

Dear JATlAnDeRs,

Maybe I am wrong but i think AgE faCtOr matters in ouR cOmmuniTy.

I think it is a big problem. I think, respect has to be earned. Also, elder people should talk humbly and politely to junior members, which many don't. My reply depends on the content of their talk and NOT on a person's age.

[urmiladuhan]

[QUOTE=Dagar25;286499]Dear JATlAnDeRs,

dOn'T you tHiNk thAt age of every member should be included in his MEMBER CARD(brief intro.), which is shown left to his post. Like one's joining month and year, posts, wiki edits etc. are written, Age should also be included. communication would improve and elders would get respect. One's reply may change if he knows the age of the person before him. most of the brothers would say.......visit one's profile.....but it is not feasible to visit the profile for knowing one's age....as it takes too much time especially where internet services are poor.



Let me ask you this - what is more important in getting/giving respect - AGE of the person or MERIT of the person.

[singhvp]

What if one doesn't reveal the real age?? Ladies normally prefer to hide their age.:)

[urmiladuhan]

What if one doesn't reveal the real age??

I would judge them on the basis of what one is saying/writing. Age has got nothing to do with it, I think.

[akshaymalik84]

Let me ask you this - what is more important in getting/giving respect - AGE of the person or MERIT of the person.

And how would you decide the MERIT of a person based on his sayings/posts on this virtual forum?

Saying, Thoughts and Action are different things. They hardly harmonize.

Virtual respect for Virtual people.

[urmiladuhan]

And how would you decide the MERIT of a person based on his sayings/posts on this virtual forum?

Saying, Thoughts and Action are different things. They hardly harmonize.

Virtual respect for Virtual people.

Written words, even online, creates a verifiable record. Actions are bound by record.

[Dagar25]

[QUOTE=Dagar25;286499]
Let me ask you this - what is more important in getting/giving respect - AGE of the person or MERIT of the person.

Elders ought to be respected irrespective of their merits. Their biggest merit is in the experience of life they have. Should I use only URMILA, URMILA JI, Bebe URMILA or urmila taayi.......my reply could have been different if I knew your age.

[Dagar25]

And how would you decide the MERIT of a person based on his sayings/posts on this virtual forum?

Saying, Thoughts and Action are different things. They hardly harmonize.

Virtual respect for Virtual people.

bhai akshay virtual respect bhi tai jab h hoga jab tu uski age jaanta hoga......the issue is not regarding respect... but regarding age.....which may change our replies....e baat nai tai maane ga.......baaki teri marzi hai...tu lakohna chahta ho tai lakoh le.......

[urmiladuhan]

[QUOTE=Dagar25;286731][QUOTE=urmiladuhan;286588]

Elders ought to be respected irrespective of their merits. Their biggest merit is in the experience of life they have. Should I use only URMILA, URMILA JI, Bebe URMILA or urmila taayi.......my reply could have been different if I knew your age.[/QUOTE

I would rather have people address me by my first name only.

[urmiladuhan]

bhai akshay virtual respect bhi tai jab h hoga jab tu uski age jaanta hoga......the issue is not regarding respect... but regarding age.....which may change our replies....e baat nai tai maane ga.......baaki teri marzi hai...tu lakohna chahta ho tai lakoh le.......

I think it is a matter of personal choice i.e., how much importance one gives to merit over age. But please don't expect me to change my preference for merit.

[urmiladuhan]

[QUOTE=Dagar25;286731][QUOTE=urmiladuhan;286588]

Elders ought to be respected irrespective of their merits. QUOTE]

For what?

[urmiladuhan]

[QUOTE=Dagar25;286731][QUOTE=urmiladuhan;286588]

Elders ought to be respected irrespective of their merits. QUOTE]

For what?

Dagar jee - here is a post about Mahatma Gandhi on JatLand.com. See Below:
A View on Gandhi
पिछले १०० वर्षों के इतिहास के अध्ययन के पश्चात, मैंने ये निर्णय लिया है कि अब मैं श्री मोहन दास करमचंद गाँधी जी को न बापू कहूँगा और न ही राष्ट्रपिता.

What do you have to say about giving respect on the basis of AGE? It is merit of the person that counts and how a person counts someone's merit that determines whether he/she will extend respect to someone elder to him/her in age

[dahiyarocks]

bhai yo kaam te jarur karwao.............


ek bharti hai hadde..........ghani senior...........

ek din mne chat mein phet gi a ue batta mein mne ke di ke ja hokka bhar la..........


ude samar bhi tha............pache e pad gya ke hum respect dewe se terte nhi di jatti ak ghanna e bada chaudhary lag ra se..............ar or bhi...........

mne te nu keh ke pachha chudaya ke mne ke pher e ki jhotdi khol li jo sir ho ra se.........


btao mne ke sapna aawe tha ke bharti merte umar mein bdi se...........

[singhvp]

I think it is a matter of personal choice i.e., how much importance one gives to merit over age. But please don't expect me to change my preference for merit.


urmiladuhan;286716]I would judge them on the basis of what one is saying/writing. Age has got nothing to do with it, I think

My dear youngsters,

Urmila has rightly said that we must see the merit/content in someone's posts. Age is just a digit and there is no prescribed benchmark for a man to be called old. However, a man may be termed as old when he becomes incapacitated in certain important matters which I need not to elaborate. Some of them really rock even at the age of 75.

We tend to forget that without the contribution of these so-called '"Budhas" (elderly people) our existence in the world would not have been possible. In that sense they are our creators. Therefore, one should not disregard these great "creators" just because of their age. Please note that when the "creators" will really get old, they themselves will stop putting their beak in your soup. Till that time please let them have some good time.

PS: My above comments are not meant for Urmila. I have simply quoted her post for those who have scant regard for "Budha"

[dahiyarocks]

Right. Age is just a digit and there is no prescribed benchmark for a man to be called old. However, a man may be termed as old when he becomes incapacitated in certain important matters which I do not need to elaborate. Some of them really rock even at the age of 75. We tend to forget that without the contribution of these so-called '"Budhas" (elderly people) our existence in the world would not have been possible. In that sense they are our creators. Therefore, one should not disregard these great "creators" just because of their age. We must see the merit/content in their posts as Urmila has rightly said. Please note that when the "creators" will really get old, they themselves will stop putting their beak in your soup. Till that time please let them have some good time.

bhaisahab agar aap apne te bujurg aadmi ne dekho ge te g lake ya thodi izat de ke bolloge ya nhi????????

[thukrela]

मैंने तोह यहाँ अभी तक कोई किसी से बत्तमीजी ना करते देखा






फिर भी अगर मांग है की उम्र भी डिस्प्ले की जाये
तोह इस पर एक पोल करवा दो
75% अगर हामी भरते है
तो मांग पूरी कर दी जाये

[dahiyarocks]

My dear youngsters,

Urmila has rightly said that we must see the merit/content in someone's posts. Age is just a digit and there is no prescribed benchmark for a man to be called old. However, a man may be termed as old when he becomes incapacitated in certain important matters which I need not to elaborate. Some of them really rock even at the age of 75.

We tend to forget that without the contribution of these so-called '"Budhas" (elderly people) our existence in the world would not have been possible. In that sense they are our creators. Therefore, one should not disregard these great "creators" just because of their age. Please note that when the "creators" will really get old, they themselves will stop putting their beak in your soup. Till that time please let them have some good time.

PS: My above comments are not meant for Urmila. I have simply quoted her post for those who have scant regard for "Budha"

badal ge bat ne...........per koe na upper chap gi pehla aali bat te eb...........

ar jwab te de do mere swal ka

[singhvp]

bhaisahab agar aap apne te bujurg aadmi ne dekho ge te g lake ya thodi izat de ke bolloge ya nhi????????

Bilkul theek baat.

[dahiyarocks]

मैंने तोह यहाँ अभी तक कोई किसी से बत्तमीजी ना करते देखा






फिर भी अगर मांग है की उम्र भी डिस्प्ले की जाये
तोह इस पर एक पोल करवा दो
75% अगर हामी भरते है
तो मांग पूरी कर दी जाये
karega kun mang puri..........???????????

hum te bera na ke ke kar de per jo es kotde ki chabhi aala se wo te khu ra se,,,,,,,,,,

[dahiyarocks]

Bilkul theek baat.

bas wahe baat ho ri se................

hadde nu te bera lagta ni ke chota se ke bda...........

ar pher mere jissa kime keh de(jukar hum umar aala gella bolla kare se) te galat hoja..........


esse mare nu keh se wo bai ke umar gella visible honi chaiye taki shru te e wo maan de ske.........


aage te u ke karam btawenge ke izzat lewega ak galli khawega

[thukrela]

karega kun mang puri..........???????????

hum te bera na ke ke kar de per jo es kotde ki chabhi aala se wo te khu ra se,,,,,,,,,,

हम्म .. यो तोह से, moderators का तोह मुझे भी कोई बेरा नहीं
अगर moderators कही दूर बैठे दूरबीन से ये सब देख रहे हो तो भक्तजानो की बात सुन ले

[ssgoyat]

I think it is a big problem. I think, respect has to be earned. Also, elder people should talk humbly and politely to junior members, which many don't. My reply depends on the content of their talk and NOT on a person's age.

Very true, Same here..

[dahiyarocks]

हम्म .. यो तोह से, moderators का तोह मुझे भी कोई बेरा नहीं
अगर moderators कही दूर बैठे दूरबीन से ये सब देख रहे हो तो भक्तजानो की बात सुन ले
we na sunne...............

[thukrela]

we na sunne...............

moderators भी क्या करे

आज अगर ये सुन ली. ..तोह कल को कुछ और सुन्नी पड़ जा गी
और फेर तो सिलसिला सुरु हो जा गा

[Dagar25]

My dear members se request hai ki we topic ko itna complex naa banaaye. Being the author of this thread.......i would like to remind all of you people that the thread is about the reactions one gives after reading post of someone keeping in mind the age of the person. Age matters in a conversation and i think one's way of talking will be different when he talk to person of his age and when he talk to person above or below his age.

Discuss the impact of age on replies, comments. if you know someone is very senior/junior to you.....Would you like leg-pulling or rude remarks when talking to him/her. Today's MNC's Corporate culture considers everything as an individual...I used to call my boss by his first name in an MNC.....we even used to discuss about everything...even about girls etc.There was nothing like senior-junior but one had to act and behave in very very professional manner...but our society is different and gives importance to age.

My dear members...... revealing your age would improve communication......if not to a great extent..at least to some extent.....but would improve definitely....

[Dagar25]

[QUOTE=urmiladuhan;286753][QUOTE=Dagar25;286731]

Dagar jee - here is a post about Mahatma Gandhi on JatLand.com. See Below:
A View on Gandhi
पिछले १०० वर्षों के इतिहास के अध्ययन के पश्चात, मैंने ये निर्णय लिया है कि अब मैं श्री मोहन दास करमचंद गाँधी जी को न बापू कहूँगा और न ही राष्ट्रपिता.

What do you have to say about giving respect on the basis of AGE? It is merit of the person that counts and how a person counts someone's merit that determines whether he/she will extend respect to someone elder to him/her in age


Urmila( you prefer to be called by ur name) you should delete the word JEE after my name as you must be very senior to me. Senior's merit is in the experience of life they have had. The ongoing thread is regarding revealing your age.

So I ask straight forward to every member whether they would like to reveal their age in their brief profile(member card)?
kirpya thread ko khmkha mat kheecho....inghan unghan ki baat kar ke topic ne change mat karo.

[urmiladuhan]

My dear youngsters,

Urmila has rightly said that we must see the merit/content in someone's posts. Age is just a digit and there is no prescribed benchmark for a man to be called old. However, a man may be termed as old when he becomes incapacitated in certain important matters which I need not to elaborate. Some of them really rock even at the age of 75.

We tend to forget that without the contribution of these so-called '"Budhas" (elderly people) our existence in the world would not have been possible. In that sense they are our creators. Therefore, one should not disregard these great "creators" just because of their age. Please note that when the "creators" will really get old, they themselves will stop putting their beak in your soup. Till that time please let them have some good time.

PS: My above comments are not meant for Urmila. I have simply quoted her post for those who have scant regard for "Budha"

I don't respect people who use derogatory words/phrases for elderly (i.e., buddha etc) - a "buzurg" would be so much better if one must empasize a person's age. Really, words/language can spoil or make a relation. Education teaches the appropriate use of language, I think.

i also think that aged people who have not learnt to give respect to juniors/talk to them respectfully/ discourage subservience, need to GO BACK to school and learn this important art of living! There is no age limit for learning!

[JSRana]

My dear members se request hai ki we topic ko itna complex naa banaaye. Being the author of this thread.......i would like to remind all of you people that the thread is about the reactions one gives after reading post of someone keeping in mind the age of the person. Age matters in a conversation and i think one's way of talking will be different when he talk to person of his age and when he talk to person above or below his age.

Discuss the impact of age on replies, comments. if you know someone is very senior/junior to you.....Would you like leg-pulling or rude remarks when talking to him/her. Today's MNC's Corporate culture considers everything as an individual...I used to call my boss by his first name in an MNC.....we even used to discuss about everything...even about girls etc.There was nothing like senior-junior but one had to act and behave in very very professional manner...but our society is different and gives importance to age.

My dear members...... revealing your age would improve communication......if not to a great extent..at least to some extent.....but would improve definitely....

भाई डागर जी, बहुत ही उपयुक्त बात कही है आपने | कुछ सदस्यों का मानना है की गुणों के आधार पर ही सम्मान दिया जाना चाहिए न की आयु के आधार पर | बात ये भी कुछ हद तक तर्कसंगत लगती है क्यूंकि देखने मे आया है कि गुणी व सद्वेव्हारी प्राणी को हमेशा से आदर दिया जाता रहा है चाहे उस की उम्र कुछ भी रही हो | फिर भी छोटे बड़े की मर्यादा का ध्यान रखना हमारी संस्कृति का अहम हिस्सा रहा है और हमें अपनी मर्यादा को नहीं छोड़ना चाहिए | अपने से बड़े सदस्य को सम्मान देना हमारा प्रराथ्मिक कर्तव बनता है | और अगर कोई वरिष्ठ सदस्य अपनी मर्यादा के अनुरूप परिपक्व वेवहार नहीं करता है तो किसी अशोभनीय परिणाम का उत्तरदायी उसे स्वं होना पड़ेगा |

ये सर्वविदित है कि सम्मान कर्म व उपयुक्त वेव्हार द्वारा अर्जित किया जाता है ना की जबरदस्ती झपटा जाता है |
मै एक बार फिर आप के विचारों से सहमती व्यक्त करते हुए इस मुद्दे पर आप के साथ हूँ |


धन्यवाद् सहित |

[rajneeshantil]

Giving respect to the age factor is not a good thinking. just praise good thinking. it shouldn't matter whether it is a product of young brain or old. i am not in favour of simply respect our elders just because they grew older than us. give respect to the mentality and the positive approach one has. secondly, mentioning age will not solve the purpose. phir JLers hi kisi old aged ko kahenge ki apse aise vichar ya reply ki ummed nahi thi. there might be many with UMAR 55 ki and DIL BACHPAN KA.

[Dagar25]

@J S Rana

Thanks Rana Saab, I am totally agree with you.......and likes following line in your post very much. I think other members should also consider this.......

"छोटे बड़े की मर्यादा का ध्यान रखना हमारी संस्कृति का अहम हिस्सा रहा है और हमें अपनी मर्यादा को नहीं छोड़ना चाहिए"

[JSRana]

Giving respect to the age factor is not a good thinking. just praise good thinking. it shouldn't matter whether it is a product of young brain or old. i am not in favour of simply respect our elders just because they grew older than us. give respect to the mentality and the positive approach one has. secondly, mentioning age will not solve the purpose. phir JLers hi kisi old aged ko kahenge ki apse aise vichar ya reply ki ummed nahi thi. there might be many with UMAR 55 ki and DIL BACHPAN KA.

You are right Rajnish ji but you may sometime agree that we all behave differently with different people according to various factors such as our relationship, post/position/rank, age/peer group, gender, economic/social status, physical appearance/ability, behavioral pattern, intellectualism/knowledge, residential/operational zone and may be more. To know everything about a person on this virtual forum seems difficult but in case some of the above criterion are known to us our addressing to each other will definitely improve and I think that makes the difference.Secondly, respect works on Newtons third law of motion.Give respect & take it back (some time with interest). What i have experienced that even in our offices/workplaces we address senior/older people by adding JI to their name even though they may be our subordinates/sahayaks and that enhances interpersonal relationship & improves working environment.

So the age seniority is a very significant criteria to decide initial addressing. Further in case a senior/aged person does not behave according to his age/seniority then he needs to be held responsible for unpleasant consequences if any. In my opinion the above applies here and everywhere. The idea is to exchange/share our knowledge/experience/culture in respectable, humorous and harmonious atmosphere.

With Thanks.
JS

[urmiladuhan]

[QUOTE=urmiladuhan;286761][QUOTE=urmiladuhan;286753]
Senior's merit is in the experience of life they have had.[/I]

I beg to disagree.

A merit is based on what one has learnt from the experiences one has had and not just from going through experiences.

He he he he ...Now I think I am definitely senior to you on the basis of merit!

[urmiladuhan]

[QUOTE=urmiladuhan;286761][QUOTE=urmiladuhan;286753]


Urmila( you prefer to be called by ur name) you should delete the word JEE after my name as you must be very senior to me. Senior's merit is in the experience of life they have had. The ongoing thread is regarding revealing your age.

So I ask straight forward to every member whether they would like to reveal their age in their brief profile(member card)?
kirpya thread ko khmkha mat kheecho....inghan unghan ki baat kar ke topic ne change mat karo.

Is that what you prefer me to address you as (without the jee)?

[urmiladuhan]

You are right Rajnish ji but you may sometime agree that we all behave differently with different people according to various factors such as our relationship, post/position/rank, age/peer group, gender, economic/social status, physical appearance/ability, behavioral pattern, intellectualism/knowledge, residential/operational zone and may be more. To know everything about a person on this virtual forum seems difficult but in case some of the above criterion are known to us our addressing to each other will definitely improve and I think that makes the difference.Secondly, respect works on Newtons third law of motion.Give respect & take it back (some time with interest). What i have experienced that even in our offices/workplaces we address senior/older people by adding JI to their name even though they may be our subordinates/sahayaks and that enhances interpersonal relationship & improves working environment.

So the age seniority is a very significant criteria to decide initial addressing. Further in case a senior/aged person does not behave according to his age/seniority then he needs to be held responsible for unpleasant consequences if any. In my opinion the above applies here and everywhere. The idea is to exchange/share our knowledge/experience/culture in respectable, humorous and harmonious atmosphere.

With Thanks.
JS


Rana jee, there are some older people who "demand" that they be shown respect. It is such people that I have problem with.

[urmiladuhan]

[QUOTE=urmiladuhan;286588]

Elders ought to be respected irrespective of their merits. Their biggest merit is in the experience of life they have. .

The merit lies in what (if at all) one has learnt from the experience one has had. If there is no learning, there is no merit.

[ssgoyat]

Rana jee, there are some older people who "demand" that they be shown respect. It is such people that I have problem with.

jiski aap baat karr rahi hain... wo mujhe dev dahiya ka hi avtaar lagta hai...the way he writes with mixed emotions of politeness, respect, frustration, anger, being sarcastic, giving un called advices... sab ek hi post me .. itne sare rang....haha

[rajneeshantil]

Agreed heartily urmila ji, respect flows from the heart. it is not a commodity which may be DEMANDED. just do such act or show some good thinking and receive it. Respect cannot be borrowed, demanded or attain by undue influence. aaj tak koi insaan paida nahi hua jisne lathi ke dum pe respect pai ho.

[Dagar25]

[QUOTE=Dagar25;286832][QUOTE=urmiladuhan;286761]Is that what you prefer me to address you as (without the jee)? A senior member should not use JEE while talking to Juniors and so I prefer my senior calls me by name only. its my personal opinion it is not necessary that other person also think like that.....

[Dagar25]

[QUOTE=Dagar25;286731]The merit lies in what (if at all) one has learnt from the experience one has had. If there is no learning, there is no merit.if one has some experience......one must have learnt something.....

[JSRana]

Rana jee, there are some older people who "demand" that they be shown respect. It is such people that I have problem with.

Urmila Ji, Kindly note that we are discussing for all the members (in general) here and not for some selective personnel.Secondly I am not recommending bindings for any one.

With Thanks.

[urmiladuhan]

[QUOTE=urmiladuhan;287106]if one has some experience......one must have learnt something.....

It is an assumption. Practically things are quite different.

[deshi-jat]

One of the historians (Shri JS Joon, K.R. Qanungo or Thakur Deshraj) has mentioned in his book;

“All Jats, irrespective of their official or financial positions in life, have equal social status. The only criterion of superiority is age. If two Jats sit on a bed the elder, even if he is a poor farmer will sit towards the head of the bed, and the younger, even if he is a very well to do, or is a senior civil or military officer, will sit towards the foot of the bed. If a number of Jats are sharing the same 'hooka' it is the duty of the youngest to hold the 'hooka' and pass it around in turn to the others”.

http://www.jatland.com/home/Life,_culture_and_traditions_of_Jat_people

[urmiladuhan]

One of the historians (Shri JS Joon, K.R. Qanungo or Thakur Deshraj) has mentioned in his book;

“All Jats, irrespective of their official or financial positions in life, have equal social status. The only criterion of superiority is age. If two Jats sit on a bed the elder, even if he is a poor farmer will sit towards the head of the bed, and the younger, even if he is a very well to do, or is a senior civil or military officer, will sit towards the foot of the bed. If a number of Jats are sharing the same 'hooka' it is the duty of the youngest to hold the 'hooka' and pass it around in turn to the others”.

http://www.jatland.com/home/Life,_culture_and_traditions_of_Jat_people

This is what I do when I first meet an elderly - give respect. But if upon further interaction with the person senior to me in age, I find that the person is less meritorious (in my humble opinion) than me, YET expects/demands from me to be subservient to him/her - that is when the problem arises and I refuse to comply to this force from the person senior in age.

Perhaps the problem is also in my this type of attitude.

[JSRana]

One of the historians (Shri JS Joon, K.R. Qanungo or Thakur Deshraj) has mentioned in his book;

“All Jats, irrespective of their official or financial positions in life, have equal social status. The only criterion of superiority is age. If two Jats sit on a bed the elder, even if he is a poor farmer will sit towards the head of the bed, and the younger, even if he is a very well to do, or is a senior civil or military officer, will sit towards the foot of the bed. If a number of Jats are sharing the same 'hooka' it is the duty of the youngest to hold the 'hooka' and pass it around in turn to the others”.

http://www.jatland.com/home/Life,_culture_and_traditions_of_Jat_people

भाई कांटे की बात कह दी Krishan जी | हाम ने भी योहे देखा स |

[urmiladuhan]

One of the historians (Shri JS Joon, K.R. Qanungo or Thakur Deshraj) has mentioned in his book;

“All Jats, irrespective of their official or financial positions in life, have equal social status. The only criterion of superiority is age. If two Jats sit on a bed the elder, even if he is a poor farmer will sit towards the head of the bed, and the younger, even if he is a very well to do, or is a senior civil or military officer, will sit towards the foot of the bed. If a number of Jats are sharing the same 'hooka' it is the duty of the youngest to hold the 'hooka' and pass it around in turn to the others”.

http://www.jatland.com/home/Life,_culture_and_traditions_of_Jat_people

What is written above simply states the "Duty"/Protocol.
Doing something as part of duty i.e., where to sit, to whom to pass the hooka etc., does not necessarily translate into respect for a senior (in age) member. All these customs can be followed by the juniors yet having no genuine love and respect for the senior, (if that is how a junior feels about his/her senior). Respect comes from the heart - that no one can demand.

[rakeshsehrawat]

What is written above simply states the "Duty"/Protocol.
Doing something as part of duty i.e., where to sit, to whom to pass the hooka etc., does not necessarily translate into respect for a senior (in age) member. All these customs can be followed by the juniors yet having no genuine love and respect for the senior, (if that is how a junior feels about his/her senior). Respect comes from the heart - that no one can demand.


Following customes makes army work otherwise whole country would have been on knees.

Words like "From Deep Core Of Heart" looks beautiful on cards and books in reality this is fear only which is given name of respect. Shape of fear can be different but at the end it is fear and discipline only.

[urmiladuhan]

Following customes makes army work otherwise whole country would have been on knees.

Words like "From Deep Core Of Heart" looks beautiful on cards and books in reality this is fear only which is given name of respect. Shape of fear can be different but at the end it is fear and discipline only.

I am not against following duty/protocol - in fact that are at the core of my being.

But genuine feelings such as in respect, in love, in friendship are a rare commodity and they can only be shared/given if it comes from the heart.

I think, from all of this discussion above, it is clear that there are 2 types of respect : showing genuine respect and 2. showing respect for the sake of duty/protocol. Genuine respect cannot be demanded - it has to be earned.

[nkumars83]

ikdum practical baat kah di bhai ne baki sab '''Highly educated but not socially literate"" logo ki baate hai...........

[urmiladuhan]

ikdum practical baat kah di bhai ne baki sab '''Highly educated but not socially literate"" logo ki baate hai...........

Societal rules/customs are different in different societies/groups. By society you probably mean the rural Jat society. I have already mentioned that I grew up/got educated in a cosmopolitan and also in foreign country. I have plenty of good experiences in societies other than rural Jat society - but had some trouble in the past fitting into the rural Jat culture, a culture that I am trying to understand.

Kindly state your social literacy score i.e., How many different societies have you successfully become part of?

[Dagar25]

Thread is deviating from main topic.....I should interfere now... just put your remarks whether age should be shown or not....my dear members.....you should first tell whether you support my idea or not and then give your philosophical dose, evidences,instances or anything else in support of your views.The thread would not lead to any conclusion unless you give your opinion on the main point. Till now only two Members have giventheir open support.........Should I assume that others are not in favour of inclusion of age in brief profile. ( it is in respect of onlythose members who are willingly showing their age on their profile page.....and not about those who dont even want to disclose their age at all, so dont misunderstand that i am talking about all.)

[nkumars83]

Societal rules/customs are different in different societies/groups. By society you probably mean the rural Jat society. I have already mentioned that I grew up/got educated in a cosmopolitan and also in foreign country. I have plenty of good experiences in societies other than rural Jat society - but had some trouble in the past fitting into the rural Jat culture, a culture that I am trying to understand.

Kindly state your social literacy score i.e., How many different societies have you successfully become part of?




Urmila ji,,,,, I strictly not meant 'Rural Jat Society.... I mean weather you are from cosmopolitan, foreign or any Goan-Dehat, you will find basics are same,,,,,


In short-Rules and customs are only which run successfully any society or group...(**Emotions works effectively only in CLOSE Relations**--I Believe).

[jagmohan]

Dear Jatlanders,

This elder – younger, earn – demand respect, mature – immature and fauji – civilian debate / discussion has taken place many times here. I have been seeing it since 2003. It often happens that members spew venom without any rhyme or reason. Many members have felt that they have been targeted, rightly / wrongly and have left posting on the forum. A person’s behavior reflects the upbringing he/she has had and the environment one lived / lives in. It is rather sad that on one side we say and feel that all other communities are against us and on the other hand we can’t tolerate each other’s comments. It can never be always ‘my way or highway’. I am rather surprised at this elder – younger argument when it comes to commenting on current issues. The worth of the comment should be seen and not the age, rank, seniority and experience. Having been involved in heated debates in this forum with many young and old members over the years, I have never felt the need to quote ‘who I am’ or ‘what I was’ in making a point. If your argument has merit people will see it, if not then keep quiet and agree to someone else who is trying to make a point that is logical. Where does age come in? In such social sites age should not come in. I am sure many of us must have watched Kaun Banega Crorepati. The Big B always addresses each contestant by saying JEE. So there is actually no harm if elders call youngsters JEE. It just means that the person respects your opinion and respects you for what you are. Let us not waste our energy in getting perturbed by non-essentials.

Age is just a number. There are many 60 year olds who behave like 16 (not that all those who are 16 are immature) and 20 year olds who speak like a 60 year old (not that all those who are 60 are mature). Please learn to differentiate between age and maturity. Being mature doesn’t mean being aged. That is applicable only for Rum and Single Malts!

Let us also not name members here. All those who know him, Dev Dahiya is wonderful person.

Let me end with a small couplet;

Ye duniya bhi ajab saraaye fani dekhi
Har cheez yahaan aani jaani dekhi;

Jo aa kar naa jaaye vo budhapaa dekha,
Or jo jaa ke naa aaye vo jawaani dekhi.

Best regards,

JS Malik

[rakeshsehrawat]

Societal rules/customs are different in different societies/groups. By society you probably mean the rural Jat society. I have already mentioned that I grew up/got educated in a cosmopolitan and also in foreign country. I have plenty of good experiences in societies other than rural Jat society - but had some trouble in the past fitting into the rural Jat culture, a culture that I am trying to understand.

Kindly state your social literacy score i.e., How many different societies have you successfully become part of?

I was born in village. Started going to school in my nearest town Rohtak at age of 6. Went to Madhuban with some relative in class 3 at age of 9. At age of 15 joined hostel in Sonipat. Came back to Rohtak for one year but stayed in hostel. Joined Engineering College is Bahal Bhiwani. Have done job in Gurgaon, Noida,Ghaziabad and Delhi. Went to Europe for training of one month. Stayed there with dutch as PG. Now Staying in Bahadurgarh Working in Delhi and studying in Gurgaon. I feel that i am never considered alien anywhere.
But that does not makes any difference to my thinking that elders must be treated in a RESPECTFUL manner. I have seen a European of 50 years whistling for a girl of 16 behaving typically what we call Luccha and a bunch of mixed age group was laughing at site.

Now my question where you want me to fit in?

[ssgoyat]

Dear Jatlanders,

....... The worth of the comment should be seen and not the age, rank, seniority and experience. Having been involved in heated debates in this forum with many young and old members over the years, I have never felt the need to quote ‘who I am’ or ‘what I was’ in making a point. If your argument has merit people will see it, if not then keep quiet and agree to someone else who is trying to make a point that is logical. Where does age come in? In such social sites age should not come in....

Age is just a number. There are many 60 year olds who behave like 16 (not that all those who are 16 are immature) and 20 year olds who speak like a 60 year old (not that all those who are 60 are mature). Please learn to differentiate between age and maturity. Being mature doesn’t mean being aged. That is applicable only for Rum and Single Malts!

Let us also not name members here. All those who know him, Dev Dahiya is wonderful person.

Best regards,

JS Malik

Very true Uncleji,

I like your post . Age, rank, gender, salary band, hierarchy, seniority,qualification, experience, social status, caste, color should never be the attributes for respect/the way we address someone. Just treat everyone equal, atleast in the first addressing.

Many amoung us work for the kind of companies, where hierarchy is discouraged, such companies strive to develop a flat organisational culture. Eg. Our i-card's don't carry our designation/job level/rank. When you search for someone, search results never shows job level, age, qualification, experience/achievements. The e-mails we write to senior management/reporting manager and vice versa starts with 'Hi <first name>, Hi Folks, Dear <first name>, We don't have uniforms, don't have shoulder sleeve insignias, unlike hierarchy based organisations, defence, police, paramilitary forces. We greet/address our supporting staff e.g security, help desks, IT support the same way as our other colleagues. I have a few very active jatlanders as my office colleagues, couple of levels above me, couple of level down too. When we sit & chat the designation/rank doesn't differentiate us.

It don't mater to us if the elderly uncle living next door has retired as a librarian, primary school teacher, university professor, havaldar, colonel etc. We address them as uncleji, uncle in the first transaction. The degree of respect in future addressings & conversation depends upon how nicely, affectionate, warm, humble, knowledgeable he happens to be. Whereas, if he turns out to be a rude, admant, egoistic, boastful, sarcastic, unpolite, un respectful fellow. We might not even give a look, the next time he passes by us. Let alone greeting him with a fake smile. Unlike hirarchy driven organisations, we don't feel it as an obligation to stop, stand still & straight & salute/wish every senior ranking person who passes/drives by us, if we don't like him or his attitude.

I see no harm in adressing an elder as <first name> jee, bhaiji, bhaisahab, uncleji, Dear uncle. But if someone demands extraaa... he/she has to earn it, there has to be some reason for it. Respect is earned bothways, and that happens over a period of time.

The same way learning, knowledge/experience sharing also happens both ways. You don't outrightly reject someone's opinion just because you feel him/her unexperienced/im mature in your self defined parameters, and rather make sarcastic comments, uncalled remarks, as many guys do here both elder & younger ones.

I quoted him because for the way he used to write, with mixed expressions of emotions. I've known him well, and met a couple of times. He's a nice person.

[kapdal]

Thread is deviating from main topic.....I should interfere now... just put your remarks whether age should be shown or not....my dear members.....you should first tell whether you support my idea or not and then give your philosophical dose, evidences,instances or anything else in support of your views.The thread would not lead to any conclusion unless you give your opinion on the main point. Till now only two Members have giventheir open support.........Should I assume that others are not in favour of inclusion of age in brief profile. ( it is in respect of onlythose members who are willingly showing their age on their profile page.....and not about those who dont even want to disclose their age at all, so dont misunderstand that i am talking about all.)

I have no issues in displaying my age. In Indian context, knowing the age helps to address the person appropriately. Otherwise accidents can happen. OP's sentiment is understandable.

Rest, Col Malik has hit the nail on its head. It would be great if everyone thought like him, but that's not the case.

There is a difference between genuinely respecting someone and deferring to age while talking to someone. Former is commanded and not demanded. But latter is expected in Indian context. You can't call even an 80 year old person as uncle in the West if he is not related to you - it is opposite in India. This is not a big moral question - it is just the same old "When in Rome,...".

[urmiladuhan]

I was born in village. Started going to school in my nearest town Rohtak at age of 6. Went to Madhuban with some relative in class 3 at age of 9. At age of 15 joined hostel in Sonipat. Came back to Rohtak for one year but stayed in hostel. Joined Engineering College is Bahal Bhiwani. Have done job in Gurgaon, Noida,Ghaziabad and Delhi. Went to Europe for training of one month. Stayed there with dutch as PG. Now Staying in Bahadurgarh Working in Delhi and studying in Gurgaon. I feel that i am never considered alien anywhere.
But that does not makes any difference to my thinking that elders must be treated in a RESPECTFUL manner. I have seen a European of 50 years whistling for a girl of 16 behaving typically what we call Luccha and a bunch of mixed age group was laughing at site.

Now my question where you want me to fit in?

the place where you are most comfortable and happy - with people, with the culture.

[ritu]

life is not like this in real world that we respect our elders by judging their merits.sharam aur lihaz kiya jaata hai.
This is what I do when I first meet an elderly - give respect. But if upon further interaction with the person senior to me in age, I find that the person is less meritorious (in my humble opinion) than me, YET expects/demands from me to be subservient to him/her - that is when the problem arises and I refuse to comply to this force from the person senior in age.

Perhaps the problem is also in my this type of attitude.

[rakeshsehrawat]

Wo Kehte hain &%* mein dala maaro chintam cheent.










Samajh to aap gaye e hoge!!!!!!!!

[urmiladuhan]

life is not like this in real world that we respect our elders by judging their merits.sharam aur lihaz kiya jaata hai.


are you suggesting i don't have these?

[urmiladuhan]

Wo Kehte hain &%* mein dala maaro chintam cheent.

Samajh to aap gaye e hoge!!!!!!!!


if this message was for me, i am sorry i don't understand Jaatu vey much - still in learning stages. kindly explain in english or hindi (in hindi script).