Rise in number of Divorce Cases and Separation cases in India.

[soniadabas]

The number of Divorce cases and Separation cases have gone up in last few decades . Now a days, Marriage no longer seems to be a life long commitment . Most of the people get married
because of Family Pressure and Peer Pressure . After Marriage , Initially everything looks just perfect. As they are busy holidaying and meeting friends and Family . But Sadly this feeling does not last long in some cases . After a few months or so when the differences begin to arise due to expectations from either side , they start complaining and finding faults in each other.
Now some enlightened realize that it was a biggest mistake of there life and they are yet to meet there so called soul mate .
The purpose of this thread is to throw light on why there is a change in mind set of individuals ? What makes them to take(Separation ) decision in a haste ? Why they can not handle ego issues ? Why they are low on tolerance and high on frustration level ?

[amankadian]

The number of Divorce cases and Separation cases have gone up in last few decades . Marriage now a days, no longer seems to be a life long commitment . Most of the people get into marriage because of Family Pressure and Peer Pressure . After Marriage , Initially everything looks just perfect. As they are busy holidaying and meeting friends and Family . But Sadly this feeling does not last long in some cases . After a few months or so when the differences begin to arise due to expectations form either side , they start complaining and finding faults in each other.
Now some enlightened realize that it was a biggest mistake of there life and they are yet to meet there so called soul mate .
The purpose of this thread is to throw light on why there is a change in mind set of individuals ? What makes them to take(Separation ) decision in a haste ? Why they can not handle ego issues ? Why they are low on tolerance and high on frustration level ?

As many as 1,35,445 people committed suicide in the country last year. Statistics released by the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) show 79,773 men and 40,715 women had taken the extreme step. Main reason is just family matters.

[Prikshit]

The number of Divorce cases and Separation cases have gone up in last few decades . Marriage now a days, no longer seems to be a life long commitment . Most of the people get into marriage because of Family Pressure and Peer Pressure . After Marriage , Initially everything looks just perfect. As they are busy holidaying and meeting friends and Family . But Sadly this feeling does not last long in some cases . After a few months or so when the differences begin to arise due to expectations form either side , they start complaining and finding faults in each other.
Now some enlightened realize that it was a biggest mistake of there life and they are yet to meet there so called soul mate .
The purpose of this thread is to throw light on why there is a change in mind set of individuals ? What makes them to take(Separation ) decision in a haste ? Why they can not handle ego issues ? Why they are low on tolerance and high on frustration level ?

Possible reasons could be :-
1) Lack of patience
2) Infidelity
3) Dowry
4) Lack of independence of individuals
5) Drinking habits
6) Not able to cope with work pressure or to not able to balance work n personal life.
7) Ego problem.... etc etc
There are n other reasons for which we see spurt in such cases.

Some points if taken care of in early stage help avoid such things.
1. Proper channel
2. Through enquiry(BGC)
3. Mutual consent of both partners
4. Work life and professional life balance
5. More awareness
6. Show patience and buy time in case of misunderstadings or any arguments.
7. Be loyal
8 Keeping aside one's ego

Since every such case is a different one, but small-2 things makes a huge difference.

PS: Equal respect to both the genders is need of the hour.

[DrRajpalSingh]

The number of Divorce cases and Separation cases have gone up in last few decades . Now a days, Marriage no longer seems to be a life long commitment . Most of the people get into marriage because of Family Pressure and Peer Pressure . After Marriage , Initially everything looks just perfect. As they are busy holidaying and meeting friends and Family . But Sadly this feeling does not last long in some cases . After a few months or so when the differences begin to arise due to expectations form either side , they start complaining and finding faults in each other.
Now some enlightened realize that it was a biggest mistake of there life and they are yet to meet there so called soul mate .
The purpose of this thread is to throw light on why there is a change in mind set of individuals ? What makes them to take(Separation ) decision in a haste ? Why they can not handle ego issues ? Why they are low on tolerance and high on frustration level ?

Welcome and thanks for starting a very relevant social issue for discussion.

[singhvp]

सोनिया जी, वैसे मेरा तलाक का अनुभव तो नहीं है फिर भी आपके द्वारा प्रारम्भ की गई चर्चा में शिरक़त करने की हिमाकत कर रहा हूँ I
समय और उपभोग के साथ हर आकर्षण का फीका पड़ना मानव मन की प्रवृति रही है I दो विभिन्न परिवारों से सम्बन्ध रखने वाले स्त्री पुरुष को एक सूत्र में बांधे रखने में सबसे मत्वपूर्ण भूमिका पारस्परिक शारीरिक आकर्षण ही होता है और उसी से प्यार की उत्पत्ति होती है I इसके बाद दूसरा महत्व्बपूर्ण कारक जो शादी के स्थायित्व को बनाये रखता है वह है आर्थिक स्थिति और उसके बाद तीसरा कारण विचारों में सामंजस्य I ऐसे स्त्री और पुरुष विरले ही होते हैं जो शारीरिक आकर्षण और पैसे के अभाव में भी एक दूजे का दामन थामे रखते हैं I बहुत सी दम्पत्तियां मधुर संबंधों का महज़ दिखावा भर ही करती हैं और वास्तव में प्यार न होने के बावजूद 'लव यू डार्लिंग - लव यू डार्लिंग' करने पर मज़बूर होते हैं I शायद समाज में अच्छा कहलवाने के लिए या सामाजिक दबाव के चलते I शारीरिक जर्जरता या lack of physical compatibility, जीवन के प्रति परस्पर विरोधी विचारधारा, जीवन मूल्यों और व्यक्तिगत पसंद नापसंद में टकराव ही मुख्यतया तलाक का कारण बनते हैं I कभी कभी दहेज़ भी तलाक का कारण बनता है तो कभी सास ससुर की अत्यधिक दखल अंदाज़ी I एक कारण शादी में जल्दबाज़ी और बड़े बूढ़ों की राय की अनदेखी होता है I जो शादियां घर वालों की पूर्व सहमति से होती हैं वे तुलनात्मक रूप से अधिक कारगर और स्थायी साबित होती हैं I जो लड़के लड़कियां आधुनिकता की अंधी दौड़ में बड़े बूढ़ों और परिवार की राय के खिलाफ शादी करेंगे उनको तलाक से कोई नहीं बचा सकता I पर तलाक करना गलत बात है I जहाँ तक हो सके लोग दिखावा तो एक छत के नीचे ही रहना चाहिए I बाकी सारी बात दुनिया को बताना कोई जरूरी भी नहीं होता, माणस की अपनी private लाइफ भी होणी चाहिए I लेकिन तलाक बुरी बात है I

[kulhria2007]

The number of Divorce cases and Separation cases have gone up in last few decades . Now a days, Marriage no longer seems to be a life long commitment . Most of the people get married
because of Family Pressure and Peer Pressure . After Marriage , Initially everything looks just perfect. As they are busy holidaying and meeting friends and Family . But Sadly this feeling does not last long in some cases . After a few months or so when the differences begin to arise due to expectations from either side , they start complaining and finding faults in each other.
Now some enlightened realize that it was a biggest mistake of there life and they are yet to meet there so called soul mate .
The purpose of this thread is to throw light on why there is a change in mind set of individuals ? What makes them to take(Separation ) decision in a haste ? Why they can not handle ego issues ? Why they are low on tolerance and high on frustration level ?

I think we are here talking Hindu Marriage as the Jats are largely Hindus. Let us pay attention to the changes that were made in the Hindu Marriage system. In 1955 the Hindu Marriage & Adoption Laws were introduced. Prior to this law, the Hindu marriage was deemed 'Sacrosanct Relationship'. The common man had greatest esteem for the holiness of the relationship. Divorce had no place and it was unimaginable in the system. The institution of marriage was indeed sacrosanct. But under the influence of western thinkers, the adoption of Hindu Marriage Law instead of its sacrosanct stature became a Contract between two individuals. This contract could be broken, modified and even taken to the courts of law. The binding force totally vanished and 'marriages were set in heaven' like idioms started becoming extinct practically. We need to hit the evil in the bud.

[DrRajpalSingh]

I think we are here talking Hindu Marriage as the Jats are largely Hindus. Let us pay attention to the changes that were made in the Hindu Marriage system. In 1955 the Hindu Marriage & Adoption Laws were introduced. Prior to this law, the Hindu marriage was deemed 'Sacrosanct Relationship'. The common man had greatest esteem for the holiness of the relationship. Divorce had no place and it was unimaginable in the system. The institution of marriage was indeed sacrosanct. But under the influence of western thinkers, the adoption of Hindu Marriage Law instead of its sacrosanct stature became a Contract between two individuals. This contract could be broken, modified and even taken to the courts of law. The binding force totally vanished and 'marriages were set in heaven' like idioms started becoming extinct practically. We need to hit the evil in the bud.

A reading of your comments seem to point out that the adoption of Hindu Marriage Law is responsible for spoiling the marriages. But what about spurt of divorces in other countries where this law is not enforced.

The reasons are far more deeper to be probed. Perhaps, awareness of individual rights by the couples and failure to adhere to their mutual duties is one of the major cause of the phenomenal rise in divorce cases all over the globe.

Kindly elaborate your statement: "We need to hit the evil in the bud." But how ?

[DrRajpalSingh]

सोनिया जी, वैसे मेरा तलाक का अनुभव तो नहीं है फिर भी आपके द्वारा प्रारम्भ की गई चर्चा में शिरक़त करने की हिमाकत कर रहा हूँ I
..............लेकिन तलाक बुरी बात है I

Beautifully presented !

Very funny start followed by serious content !

[Prikshit]

A reading of your comments seem to point out that the adoption of Hindu Marriage Law is responsible for spoiling the marriages. But what about spurt of divorces in other countries where this law is not enforced.

The reasons are far more deeper to be probed. Perhaps, awareness of individual rights by the couples and failure to adhere to their mutual duties is one of the major cause of the phenomenal rise in divorce cases all over the globe.

Kindly elaborate your statement: "We need to hit the evil in the bud." But how ?

Mandeep is right is saying that to some extent Hindu marriage law is responsible, but again in today's era all things can't go by what it use to be in past.
Secondly, things in other countries are different, divorce is a pain area all around but its social impact in our country is much more compared to other countries out of cultural differences.

[kulhria2007]

A reading of your comments seem to point out that the adoption of Hindu Marriage Law is responsible for spoiling the marriages. But what about spurt of divorces in other countries where this law is not enforced.

The reasons are far more deeper to be probed. Perhaps, awareness of individual rights by the couples and failure to adhere to their mutual duties is one of the major cause of the phenomenal rise in divorce cases all over the globe.

Kindly elaborate your statement: "We need to hit the evil in the bud." But how ?
Dr Sahib
Firstly, we are concerned with the topic 'Rise in number of Divorce Cases and Separation cases in India'and it is on jatland, hence it's implied that it concerns the Jat community which I stated is largely Hindu Jats. Therefore, we are here to discuss Hindu Marriages and divorce. We are not to bother ourselves what happens(ed) in other countries or all over the globe-except our country.
Secondly, as I stated that prior to enactment of Hindu Marriage Laws, there was no such problem of divorce in Hindus as institution of marriage was sacrosanct and was deeply respected by both the parties involved in marriage in particular and the whole society in general. When the Hindu Marriage Laws came into existence the problem started aggravating. Therefore, in my view we need to revisit our decision of enactment of Hindu Marriage Laws.Our social, moral, spiritual and physical conditions are different from those of many other countries on the globe.

[amankadian]

Mandeep is right is saying that to some extent Hindu marriage law is responsible, but again in today's era all things can't go by what it use to be in past.
Secondly, things in other countries are different, divorce is a pain area all around but its social impact in our country is much more compared to other countries out of cultural differences.

Thousand people couldn't take this step and lost their life. Around 70000 people per year suicide because of marriage life/ family matter.

Woman are more aware now. They understand that they can survive without a jerk husband. If any woman suffering in her marriage life.

There are three option left for her
1. Divorce
2. Suicide
3. Hell life what she is living.

It's not about just woman. men face too.

Family environment the biggest reason for suicides and divorce.

[DrRajpalSingh]

Thousand people couldn't take this step and lost their life. Around 70000 people per year suicide because of marriage life/ family matter.

Woman are more aware now. They understand that they can survive without a jerk husband. If any woman suffering in her marriage life.

There are three option left for her
1. Divorce
2. Suicide
3. Hell life what she is living.

It's not about just woman. men face too.

Family environment the biggest reason for suicides and divorce.


Causes of Suicides cannot solely be ascribed to these matters.

Let us concentrate on the topic of thread.

[amankadian]

Causes of Suicides cannot solely be ascribed to these matters.

Let us concentrate on the topic of thread.


http://www.ndtv.com/article/india/15-commit-suicide-every-hour-in-india-majority-victims-married-report-144576

[DrRajpalSingh]

Dr Sahib
Firstly, we are concerned with the topic 'Rise in number of Divorce Cases and Separation cases in India'

and it is on jatland, hence it's implied that it concerns the Jat community which I stated is largely Hindu Jats. Therefore, we are here to discuss Hindu Marriages and divorce. We are not to bother ourselves what happens(ed) in other countries or all over the globe-except our country.
Secondly, as I stated that prior to enactment of Hindu Marriage Laws, there was no such problem of divorce in Hindus as institution of marriage was sacrosanct and was deeply respected by both the parties involved in marriage in particular and the whole society in general. When the Hindu Marriage Laws came into existence the problem started aggravating. Therefore, in my view we need to revisit our decision of enactment of Hindu Marriage Laws.Our social, moral, spiritual and physical conditions are different from those of many other countries on the globe.

Do you not see the winds of change blowing all over India and social values have also changing with passage of everyday. Could this be controlled by revisiting HINDU MARRIAGE ACT and other laws. What about the tendency of divorce or separation among those Indians who do not fall under the category of HMA, 1956.

[deshi-jat]

Women's rights groups are also responsible for it to some extent

[DrRajpalSingh]

Women's rights groups are also responsible for it to some extent

Kindly elaborate the statement whether they first create problems between the happy married couples or come at later stage when they have strained relations.

[DrRajpalSingh]

The tribune today carries a very apt thought for today on the issue, read, ponder over it and then comment.

http://www.tribuneindia.com/2014/20140710/edit.htm#1


Thought for the Day

To catch a husband is an art; to hold him is a job. —Simone de Beauvoir

[ssgoyat]

Kindly elaborate the statement whether they first create problems between the happy married couples or come at later stage when they have strained relations.


Pls help yourself a bit, this is a very big topic. Internet is flooded with distressed families who are at the suffering end because of these gender biased laws.

Its their lobby in pressing government to make gender biased laws. Many/Most of the so called women activist were not even able to save their family/marriage. And now they're pressing hard for IRBM law, which will further skyrocket rise in divorce. Search about IRBM :-)
http://savefamily.in/6-irbm-new-govt-proposed-divorce-law-unfair.html
http://www.slideshare.net/swarup1972/new-divorce-law-of-india-proposedirbm



Are you planning to marry Indian Girl? It is easy to get married
(’Legal Trap’) in India if Boy is with handsome earning and have
credible wealth.

“According to the Cabinet Note, while a wife can oppose a
husband’s plea for a divorce under the new “irretrievable
breakdown of marriage” clause, the husband will have no such
rights to oppose if the wife moves court on the same grounds.”


I suggest you to first join a yahoo group 'saveindianfamily' just for a week and you'll get to know the picture of this legal terrorism.

Search on you tube about 498a, 'Swaroop Sarkar' (Save Indian Family founder). You'll find many stories of abuse and misuse of laws.

http://www.498a.org/
http://www.498a.org/498aexplained.htm
http://498a.co.in/
http://www.498a.org.in/
http://www.saveindianfamily.org/
http://www.saveindianfamily.in/


http://www.dnaindia.com/mumbai/report-women-put-off-divorce-to-benefit-from-marriages-law-amendment-bill-1896919
http://www.ndtv.com/article/india/advantage-women-amendment-to-marriage-law-makes-divorce-easier-393564
http://www.thehindu.com/news/national/rs-approves-bill-to-make-divorce-friendly-for-women/article5061761.ece

[rekhasmriti]

17172

Was checking something else....bumped into it

[ygulia]

[“According to the Cabinet Note, while a wife can oppose a
husband’s plea for a divorce under the new “irretrievable
breakdown of marriage” clause, the husband will have no such
rights to oppose if the wife moves court on the same grounds.”

Is this just a note or passed a bill in parliament and incorporated in HMA? I do not think that it can pass the test to satisfy the requirements of the constitution because you can not discriminate on the basis of gender.

[kulhria2007]

Do you not see the winds of change blowing all over India and social values have also changing with passage of everyday. Could this be controlled by revisiting HINDU MARRIAGE ACT and other laws. What about the tendency of divorce or separation among those Indians who do not fall under the category of HMA, 1956.
Dr Sahib
I remember a famous anecdote that Hanumanji - a Jat, as believed commonly- never thought of his own betterment; instead he got fired his tale for somebody else's wife! Again in your argument, you are worrying about those "What about the tendency of divorce or separation among those Indians..." whom we are not to worry here at least on Jatland.
We the Jats are used to worrying too much about others. We argue that 'change blowing all over India' etc. You mean to say that ours was a primitive society, now it has modernized itself and there were all deplorable customs & rituals set by our ancestors (Yes, maybe, but they worked very well, indeed). Now the values have changed. Of course, we must adapt ourselves to the changing times. Evolution is always under-way & this is universal fact. But don't you think the wise of our society ought to join heads to probe into the present depressing scenario? What is the harm in revisiting HINDU MARRIAGE ACT and other laws 1956 when it's vividly shown by numerous data that the problem of family disturbance escalated right after those laws?

[DrRajpalSingh]

Dr Sahib
I remember a famous anecdote that Hanumanji - a Jat, as believed commonly- never thought of his own betterment; instead he got fired his tale for somebody else's wife! Again in your argument, you are worrying about those "What about the tendency of divorce or separation among those Indians..." whom we are not to worry here at least on Jatland.
We the Jats are used to worrying too much about others. We argue that 'change blowing all over India' etc. You mean to say that ours was a primitive society, now it has modernized itself and there were all deplorable customs & rituals set by our ancestors (Yes, maybe, but they worked very well, indeed). Now the values have changed. Of course, we must adapt ourselves to the changing times. Evolution is always under-way & this is universal fact. But don't you think the wise of our society ought to join heads to probe into the present depressing scenario? What is the harm in revisiting HINDU MARRIAGE ACT and other laws 1956 when it's vividly shown by numerous data that the problem of family disturbance escalated right after those laws?

Friend,

I do not mean to say what you think I do. Kindly read it again properly.

There is no harm in revisiting HINDU Marriage Act 1956 but would you kindly pin point which article of the said Act is antagonising the JATS in particular and the Hindus in general.

Thanks and best wishes

[Prikshit]

Choti-choti baton ko badi bana ne ke bajaye agar badi badi batien to bhi choti karke dono partner samaj le to is samasya ka kaafi hadd tak samadhan ho sakta hai.

[bharti]

Dear fellow members,

I am not a big fan of daily soaps running on Indian television but chanced upon this new channel Zindagi and the Pakistani drama "Zindagi Gulzar Hai" whose finale episode airs today evening.
I watched first 2-3 episodes on Zindagi and ended up watching the whole drama in two sittings on Youtube. There are total 26 episodes, 40 mins each.

There is so much to learn from this drama which is so much relevant to the topic of discussion and more.

Regards,
Bharti.

[pawandahiya]

Marriage at early age is another cause. Both are not mature enough to handle household situation post honeymoon period.

[rekhasmriti]

Whatever we want to do / want to be .......our actions lead us there directly or indirectly .
If somebody wanted to stay committed no matter how rotten marriage is .....he / she would stick to it till last breath , other way if somebody want to be free how wonderful marriage is .....he/she would cut him/her self loose someday .
There is never a formula of successful relationship be it parent-children , siblings , husband-wife , bf-gf .
It is a process .....u get into it .....make mistake ....learn take experience.....go on make another mistake ....again learn take experience and so on .

I bet everyone in his/her last moments would have wished .......he / she might have handled some relationship in a different way .

[ygulia]

The main focus of the discussion was why there is rise in number of divorces in our community and we need to elaborate those reasons and how these situation can be handled by individuals to stop this increasing trend in the community.

People of our community are very shy to discuss their personal problems even with close friends because of the fear that secrecy will not be maintained. People should go and consult expert and discuss their problems with them. If you tell each other that you are wrong then none will accept it.If the same thing is conveyed by expert in appropriate words then the spouse at fault will accept it and he/she will make an effort to bring the relationship back to normal. So, people should consult expert when they think their relationship is in trouble.

[Prikshit]

Whatever we want to do / want to be .......our actions lead us there directly or indirectly .
If somebody wanted to stay committed no matter how rotten marriage is .....he / she would stick to it till last breath , other way if somebody want to be free how wonderful marriage is .....he/she would cut him/her self loose someday .
There is never a formula of successful relationship be it parent-children , siblings , husband-wife , bf-gf .
It is a process .....u get into it .....make mistake ....learn take experience.....go on make another mistake ....again learn take experience and so on .

I bet everyone in his/her last moments would have wished .......he / she might have handled some relationship in a different way .
Thoda filmy ho gya :P, but yes it is true :)