Sundarta kya hai ??????

[sujatadahiya]

Sundarta kya hai ? Kya sirf tall, fair, slim and beautiful
hone say hi insan khoobsoorat ya na hone say badsoorat hota
hai ?Mera sawal ye un buzurgo say hai jo apne bete ya beti kay
liyay matrimonial ads mai ye conditions raktay hai . Kya ek
insan ki acchi soorat dekh kar hi aap usay sundar maan letay
hai ?
Ek sundar insan zehni taur pe bhi sundar ho ye zaroori to
nahi . "SUNDARTA TO INSAN KO PEHLI NAZAR MAI IMPRESS
KARNAY WALI CHEEZ HOTI HAI " is say zyada kuch nahi .

Aap logo ka kya khayal hai ?

[manas]

Sujata Ji


very Good answer.

[akdabas]

Sujata ji,

Aap ne bilkul thik kaha hai. :)

[rsdalal]

Sujat ji,
Baat te apki bhee theek se, par un bujargo ka experience ye kahata hai kee, "Pahli Nazar kee sundarta ke upper they can not bet someone's life" Baki Bujarg knows better....


Sujata Dahiya (Dec 31, 2002 06:21 a.m.):
Sundarta kya hai ? Kya sirf tall, fair, slim and beautiful
hone say hi insan khoobsoorat ya na hone say badsoorat hota
hai ?Mera sawal ye un buzurgo say hai jo apne bete ya beti kay
liyay matrimonial ads mai ye conditions raktay hai . Kya ek
insan ki acchi soorat dekh kar hi aap usay sundar maan letay
hai ?
Ek sundar insan zehni taur pe bhi sundar ho ye zaroori to
nahi . "SUNDARTA TO INSAN KO PEHLI NAZAR MAI IMPRESS
KARNAY WALI CHEEZ HOTI HAI " is say zyada kuch nahi .

Aap logo ka kya khayal hai ?

[saketdhankar]

just to add to sujata's message:

Fair and Lovely cream is sold with the sole proposition of making one fairer and in its advertisements, women who are fair are shown to be more confident and successful....
sadly, it is bought by almost every young girl to become fair....

is it something to do with the white people (English) ruling us for more than 200 years and therefore we consider fairness to be an important attribute in our judgement.....

[urmiladuhan]

Saket Dhankar (Dec 31, 2002 12:33 p.m.):



just to add to sujata's message:







Fair and Lovely cream is sold with the sole proposition of making one fairer and in its advertisements, women who are fair are shown to be more confident and successful....



sadly, it is bought by almost every young girl to become fair....







is it something to do with the white people (English) ruling us for more than 200 years and therefore we consider fairness to be an important attribute in our judgement.....







The gravitation towards fairness is pretty much universal-



that's why blondes are the butt of jokes even in predominantly white countries!

[dkumar]

Dear All,

First of all thanks to Sujata ji to bring a issue related to women for women by women!

it's proven fact that its female fraternity who looks for fairness more then males...hence it starts at home!

As far as my views are concerned I feel true beauty is more then just being fair....'achchi seerat achchi surat se jyada "Sundar" hoti hai' (the only catch with it is achchi seerat ka pata baad mein lagta hai...aur achchi surat ka instantly:) ) and as being said...."Beauty Lies in the Eyes of Beholder"!

[sujatadahiya]

Meri baat ko thik say samza nahi gaya , baat sirf fair hone ki hi nahi hai . baat hai sarvagun sampann hone ki ,(tall ,fair slim and beautiful ) in sabhi guno ke ek saath ek hi insan mai hone ki , phir chahe vo ladka ho ya ladki .
in kuch guno kay samne ek insan ki insaniyat ka koi mol na hone ki , ek insan kay acche chritra ki koi keemat na hone ki ,ek insan ki bhavnao ki koi ahmiyat na hone ki.
kya ye requirement's uchit hai ?
ye tay hum young logo ko kar lena chahiye ki
apne bado ki in demand 's ki keemat ek bacchay ko uski zindagi mai kis tareh dukh utha chukani pad sakti hai .
sirf ek insan ka lamba kad , gora rang aur acche features dekh kar vo kisi dosary bacchay ko apne bacchay kay sath band kar kya apne baccay ki zindagi kay sath nyay kartay hai ?
phir samaj kay dar aur apne khandan ki izzat ki khatir us bacchay ek ghutan bhari zindagi jeene par majboor kar diya jata hai . kya ye uchit hai ?
to kya sundarta hi sab kuch hai ?

[akdabas]

Sujata Ji,

Sundarta hi sab kuch nahin hei. I agree with you 100% on this but your comments..

"phir samaj kay dar aur apne khandan ki izzat ki khatir us bacchay ek ghutan bhari zindagi jeene par majboor kar diya jata hai . kya ye uchit hai ?"

Khandan ki izzat bhee bhot jaroori hei. Kisi ko bhee apne khandan ke izzat ke saath khelne ka adhikar nahin hona chahiye aur haan, Bujurgon ko bhee apne bachoon ke kushi ka dhayan rakhna chaiye but not at the cost of khandan ki IZZAT.

Bachchon ko chahiye ki koi bhee aisa kaam na karen jis se aesi situation peda ho ki parents ko aisa kadam uthana pare jis se bachcha ghutan bhari zindagi jeene par majboor ho jaye.

There are so many things to take care to avoid these situations.

What if a person is beautiful from his/her look, character and thoughts ?.

SONE PE SUHAGA

[amar0974]

Sujata Ji Baat to Aap Key Theek Hai, Ab Ek Baat Batao Main Apney Sister Key Liye Ladka Dekh Raha hoon to Pehley to Main Yahi Dekhoonga key Ladka or Ladki dono key Jodi Mil Jaye. Ab 2-4 Baton or 2-4 Baar Dekhney sey Kesey Key Swabhaw Ka Kaya Pata Chalta Hai ab suru main to yahi Baaten dekhi jaati Hain. Or ye jaroorey Nahi key jo ladka Lamba Tagra Hoga Sundar Hoga Uska Swabhaw Sahi Nahi Hoga. Ya jismey Ye Gun Nahi Hongey to Uska Swabhaw Achaa Hoga. Or Jub Ek Ladka Sundar hai or sundar ladki sey Saadi karna chahata hai to kaya burai hai. Waisey Baat Aapkey Bhey Sahi Hai ke Puran Sundarta Surat or Seerat dono ke Sundar Honee se hotey hai Par Surat key sundarta to hum dekh key pehchan saktey hain par kesey key serat ka pata laganey ka koi formula nahi hai na dikat yahan aati hai Ho sakta Hai Koi Ladka Acha dost Ho, Acha Beta Ho, Acha Bhai Ho Par Acha Pati Na Sabit Ho Sakey to Uska ab kaya kar saktey Hain. Insaan ka swabhaw to sthiti or haalat ke anusar badalta hai.

[sujatadahiya]

amardeep ji ,
ultimately mai inhi sawalo tak aap logo ko lana chahati thi , aur inhi sawalo ka javab mujay bhi chahiye. shadi aaj kal bohot hi riski kaam hai . jismai do parivar ya to bas jate hai ya poori tareh barbad ho jate hai , aur sirf barbaad hi nahi do parivar ek doosaray kay dushman ho jate hai .
ek ladki dekhnay mai sundar hai , ladkay walo ko bataya jata hai ki ladki to 50 aadmiyo ka khana badi asani say bana leti hai . ghar kay aur bahar kay kaam mai poori tareh nipun hai .
shadi kay bad ladki jab sasural jati hai to pooray parivar ka havai jahaz bana deti hai .
ek example bata rahi hu aisi hi ek (jat) ladki ka
sham ka waqt hai , sasur ji chath par drink kar rahe hai , bahu rani sasur ji kay pass chair par baith jati hai , sasur ji chonk padtay hai ,vo samaz bhi nahi pate hai ki nai naveli bahu unkay paas jab ki vo daru pee rahe hai kyo aai hai ? bahu kehti hai accha to daddy ye bataiye ki aap kitna kamatay hai aur kitna kharachtay
hai ? ye sun kar sasur ji ka nasha ud jata hai .
phir wahi bahu apni saas ko kehti hai tumhe to ghar chalana hi nahi aata , mujay hisab do mai ghar chala ka dikhaoongi .
isi tareh na jane kitni baar us ladki nay pooray parivaar ko apni harkato say chamkaya ki nobat talak tak aa pahunchi .
isi tare sirf ladkiya hi ustad nahi hoti balki ladkay bhi pooray ustad nikaltay hai . ki kamai batatay hai na jane kitni , aur hotay hai bilkul sifar (0) . apne buri adato ko chupa kar shadi kar letay hai aur kisi bechari ladki ko zindagi bhar kay liyay rone par, ghut ghut kar jeenay par majboor kar detay hai .
aaj ye halat hai ki bohot say (jat) educated parivaro ki ladki aur ladkay shadi kay naam say hi nafrat karnay lage hai , unkay maa baap ki halat kya hogi iska andaza to aap log laga hi saktay hongay .
vo waqt chala gaya jab ki soorat aur ghar dekh kar shadi kar di jati thi lekin aaj jab samaj mai itna dhokha aur fareb hai baccho ki shadi kaha ki jai ?
aisa nahi ki aaj kal shadiya nahi hoti .shadiya to bohot hoti hai lekin un mai say kitni shadiya kamyab hoti hai ? aaj ki tareekh mai dekha jai to adalat divorce cases say bhari padi hai aur jato ko ye soch kar kush nahi hona chahiye ki jato mai aisa nahi hota , kyoki jato kay bhi bohot cases hai court mai .
to mai ye jan na chahati hu aisa kawn sa tareeka nikala jai ki is pareshani ko solve kiya ja sake .
kisi nay kaha hai ki " MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON .THIS ONE DECISION WILL DETERMINE 90% OF YOUR HAPPINESS OR MISERY .
to is right person ko kaisay choose kiya jai ? sirf soorat say to kaam nahi chal sakta na .
koi to samadha hona chahiye na ki zindagi mai ye pareshania na aaye . aisi to koi pareshani nahi ho sakti jiska ki koi samadhan na ho . par is pareshani ka samadhan doondhana sirf ek aadmi kay bas ki baat nahi . apni pareshani ka samadhan har admi apne dhang say nikalta hai , jo ki shayad aur logo ko (apni jaat walo ko ) pasand na aaye to aisa koi solution hona chahiye ki jo sabko pasand aaye .
to kya kiya jai ?

[amar0974]

Sujata Ji, Ye Baat to theek Hai Ke Apney Ladkey ya Ladki ke Shaadi ke Leye Loog Jhuut Ka sahara Bahut Letey Hain Aisey Kai Case to Hamarey Gaon (Makroli Khurd, Rohtak) Main Hee Bahut Huwe Hain Ismey Padhey Likhey or Anpadh har Warg Key Log Shamil Hain inmey sey ek to IGNO University Mey Private Security Guard Key Naukri Karta Thaa or Ghar Walon Ne Ladki Walon Ko Bata Deya Key IGNOU mey Security Officer Hai. Jabkey Ladka Padha likha (Graduate) Tha, Too Shadi key Baad Ladki ko in sub baaton ka pata chala or Naubat Talak Tak aagaye or kaee too becharey shadi key baad haalat sey samjhota kar letey hain.
In sub ka samadhan to yahi hai key Shaadi sey Pehley Achey Tarha Sey Chhaan Been Karlen Tabhi Shaadi karen. Rahi Baat Kisey key Swabhaw key to wo to ab kaisey parkha ja sakta hai. Waisey 80% Naubat Rojgar key Kami or Ghatti jameen key karan ho raha hai means gareebee ke karan ek ye bhey hai hum logon mey key ladka chahe rojgar pey ho chahey na ho par shadi to ladkey key jaroor he karney hai too jhoot ka sahara to lengey hey ab koi apni ladki aisey aadmi ko to dega nahi jiskey paas na jamin ho na rojgar ho matlab aamadani ka koi jaria na ho. Ab Bahut hey kum ladkey hain jo rojgar par hain. Merey Khayal sey to Aarthik pareshaney hee in samasyaoon ke jadd hai or iska samadhan yahi hai ke hamey rojgar key naye avsar talashney chaheyen or hamarey through agar kisey ko rojgar mil sakta hai to uskey madad karney chaheye.

[uday]

Hi Sujata,
Sunderta resides in MIND not in body....

[dkumar]

Sujata ji, Amardeep ji and all other members!

I put forward very simple steps to be undertaken for matri compatibility:

1. Boy's and Girl's merits should be the major crieteria in order to provide them a quality life.(Why I have said this majority of Girl's family look for rich in laws so that their daugther get worldly comfort ...I am not outrightly against it but Boy's merit's should come first!)

2. Proper verification should be made about all the information being provided by either side! (why so coz most of the times blind faith is the culprit for broken hearts)

3. Premarital Communication between Boy and Girl should be welcomed prior to finalization of marriage and after that too in order to let them understand their would be life partner!

I am sure adherence to above steps would yield positive results!

I whole heartedly welcome critical view and further suggesstion on the same.

Thanks & regards,

[urmiladuhan]

Dhanesh Kumar Koyad (Jan 03, 2003 07:31 a.m.):
Sujata ji, Amardeep ji and all other members!

I put forward very simple steps to be undertaken for matri compatibility:

1. Boy's and Girl's merits should be the major crieteria in order to provide them a quality life.(Why I have said this majority of Girl's family look for rich in laws so that their daugther get worldly comfort ...I am not outrightly against it but Boy's merit's should come first!)

2. Proper verification should be made about all the information being provided by either side! (why so coz most of the times blind faith is the culprit for broken hearts)

3. Premarital Communication between Boy and Girl should be welcomed prior to finalization of marriage and after that too in order to let them understand their would be life partner!

I am sure adherence to above steps would yield positive results!

I whole heartedly welcome critical view and further suggesstion on the same.

Thanks & regards,

YOU'VE REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT THE MATTER
A LOT!!!!! THIS WHOLE PROCESS OF ARRANGED MARRIAGE APPEARS SLIGHTLY FUNNY AFTER READING IT THE WAY YOU HAVE PUT IT i.e., (QUALITY WIFE,VERIFICATION!!). PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY COMMENT SERIOUSLY.
HOW IS IT SAID--MARRY IN HASTE, REPENT AT LEISURE!?
GETTING SERIOUS, IT IS NOT JUST THE GIRL'S FAMILY WHICH MAY BE MONEY MONGER BUT VICE VERSA IS MORE TRUE OTHERWISE DOWRY WOULDN'T EXIST. LONG TERM HAPPINESS COMES FROM GOOD COMPANIONSHIP- MY OWN EXPERIENCE SAYS SO.