I Hate Girls ??? read - WHY?

[jitenderhooda]

Women Readers Please read it with patience and no anger on me and please send ur remarks -----------------




I hate girls. Really.

I distinctly remember the first time I realised that. It was 12 years ago when I was in class VI.

I was standing outside my classroom when this girl, Madhu, suddenly walked up to me and slapped me hard on the shoulder. It took me a minute to regain my senses.

I didn't know what it was all about. Later I came to know it was a prank one of my friends played on me. Apparently, he told Madhu I said something rude about her.

I was the shy boy of the class. Everyone in the school knew I would never hurt anyone, that I didn't have it in me. And Madhu, though she had never interacted with me, knew that too. She could have come to me and verified if I had actually said what she heard from my friend, especially in light of my shy-boy reputation.

But she didn't. She chose the slap instead.

After that I was pretty careful when around girls. I always found it awkward, and the only feeling I remember experiencing when I interacted with them was nervousness.

Time flew. I continued struggling with my nervousness. Six years on, when I was beginning to get over it, occurred the second incident.

I had just been accepted by a prestigious engineering institute in India and was treating my friends to dinner at an open-air restaurant. There were two girls sitting behind me. My friends faced them and were eyeing them. They urged me to turn around and look. But I continued studying the menu.

Then it suddenly started raining. But the funny thing was, only I was getting drenched; my friends sat warm and dry.

I realised the phenomenon was due to an upturned water jug, held that way by one of the girls. They were protesting a remark -- a complimentary one -- my friends made.

I definitely hate girls, I decided.

Which brings me to a crucial question: why do girls feel they can get away with anything? It isn't relevant I fell victim because of some misinterpretation. How would the people around me have reacted if I had responded similarly to a girl? How dare you, they would have asked me, how could you act like that? And it wouldn't have mattered if I had apologized later -- not that I ever got an apology for being wronged.

In the years since, I have come across hundreds of instances -- thankfully I was victim in not more than 10 cases -- when a girl has behaved abominably for no logical reason. I wonder what makes them do it.

I am yet to understand the double standard our society adopts when there is a female involved. Why should we accord them special status? How are they different from us? Science says except for a certain chromosome, which determines the sex of a child, there isn't much difference between the birth of a male and a female.

Why, then, this discrimination?

In public transports, I see people vacating their seats for a standing woman -- out of 'respect' for her. I still don't understand why men are not respected the same way. What if it is an old man or a young boy carrying a heavy bag? Would they be offered a seat with the same alacrity?

You might brand me a sexist but believe me when I say I do respect women. And it's not I don't like them either -- four of the seven people whom I love the most in this world are women.

But when I see the injustice that prevails, I can't help but ask -- what have they done to deserve such special treatment?

Why should the government reserve seats for them in almost every institute in India?

Why should people reserve respect for them at all times?

Why should they be the ones who can do something to guys and get away with it, but when the reverse happens, the guy is hated and looked upon as uncivilized?

Why?


Still I feel --

"No doubt Women should be given respect as they are our JANANI's , SISTER's , Wives,Dayghter's and NARI have a immense respect in Indian Culture ."

[amitshokeen]

raa hooda tere pe pani dalne wala kissa tu maloom hi nahi pada hum logo ko.
If you are the same Jintender hooda from RECK

[jitenderhooda]

No I am from MDU .

I am Rohtakia .

jiten

[jitenderhooda]

Dear Amit Shokeen

I am from MDU .

I am Rohtakia .

jiten

[jagmohan]

Dear Jitender,

First of all read that famous book 'Men are from Mars and Women from Venus'. Why should you hate girls? Girls, and when I say girls they include women of all ages, need a lot of pampering. Be it your sister, mother, grandma or a girl friend. The only girl/women you can afford to ignore (at your own peril ofcourse) is your wife, because she knows you will always love her.

Bhai Jitender you must never ever hate girls, for this world would not be what it is without them. It is my life's experience that if you give equal status, respect and opportunities to a girl in the truest sense you would see them blossom into finest individuals. JATS have always given equal opportunities to their girls. Though lately there is an increase in sex determination tests in our states. This is bad and should stop. If there are no JATNI'S left, JATS will cease to exist.

Aur Jisne tere siir pe panni phenka tha, kit se eeb. Bhai mein teri jagah hota te usne thaa ke pani me kuud jaaata. Girls like brave guys too!

And now stop getting scared and all the best for your SSB.

Lt Col JS Malik (Retd)
JAT BALWAN, JAI BHAGWAN

[jitenderhooda]

Ek bar phir se margdarshan ke liye dhanyawad Sir,

I am not scared and preparing good for the SSB .

Jiten

[harendersangwan]

mere yaar jeetu tu nu a tension le gya ,,
taine bera koni k chhori kisspe paani geraa kare.. maine to aaj tak yo a dekha s k paani bateooo p gera kare jab wo susural apni bahu n waapis len jaaya kare ..
mubarak ho bhai taine ...

achha or koi baat ho to waa bhi bata deeye hum saare tere saath saa ..paani geerwaan khatir ...tu lucky tha uss deen,,,,, kaash m hota teri jagah p ...

[jitenderhooda]

Haan Bhai Sangwan tene thik kahaya se

ha ha ha

hosla bandhan khatir dhanayad.

jiten

[scsheorayan]

Dear Jitender,

Looks like you have been victimised by some bullying individuals.

Being a girl does not give one the right to behave irresponsibly. Bad behavious from any one is to be discouraged.

The reason why you have been targeted may be your sigh nature. You can be assertive without being angry.

Do not allow any one to take you for a ride and undermine your self confidence. Our culture teaches us to respect women but that does not give any one the right to insult others. You are not helping the individuals by allowing them to mistreat you. It only condones bad behaviour which may be attributed to some complex or personality disorder.

Hate is a negative emotion and is bad for your own health and personality. Understandably you hate to be mistreated but you do not really hate any one. Hate will rob you of your own happiness and there are millions of girls in this World which gives you millions of reasons to be unhappy. Would you like that ?

Instead of focusing on girls may be you can start by focusing on your own personality.
Healing process must start from yourself and try to understand why you become the target and how can you protect yourself in future encounters. Probably your answer lies in getting to know the fairer sex better and learn to talk to them like a friend and not as an adversary. For all you know the girls who mistreated you may like you unconsiously. Human nature is strange and hate and love are just two sides of a coin. Hope you keep us all posted about your experiences from which other boys and girls can learn. Parents also should be concerned about the behaviour of their children.

[ssredhu]

Well said Col Saab,

We are nothing without women, be it our mother, sister, wife, girlfriend or daughter. I think whatever we are we are because of woman/en in our life. Some inspire us, some admire us and some might hate us. Some injustice might have been done to you by some girls. What if that was done by a boy? As you said 4 out of 7 persons you love most are females, that suggest you don't hate girls. Anyway, Jiten this love and hate game will go on forever and good luck for your SSB. I am tempted to send these wordings for you and all.

Take a look at an apple tree. There might be five hundred apples on the tree, each with ten seeds. That's a lot of seeds.

We might ask, "Why would you need so many seeds to grow just a few more trees?" Nature has something to teach us here. It's telling us:
"Most seeds never grow. So if you really want to make something happen, you had better try more than once.

This might mean:
You'll attend twenty interviews to get one job.
You'll interview forty people to find one good employee.
You'll talk to fifty people to sell one house, car, vacuum cleaner, insurance policy, or an idea.

And you might meet a hundred acquaintances to find one special friend.
When we understand the "Law of the Seed", we don't get so disappointed.
We stop feeling like victims. Laws of nature are not things to take personally. We just need to understand them - and work with them.

IN A NUTSHELL
Successful people fail more often. They plant more seeds. When Things Are Beyond Your Control, here's a recipe for permanent misery:

a) Decide how you think the world SHOULD be.
b) Make rules for how everyone SHOULD behave.

Then, when the world doesn't obey your rules, get angry! That's what miserable people do!

Let's say you expect that:
Friends SHOULD return favours.
People SHOULD appreciate you.
Planes SHOULD arrive on time.
Everyone SHOULD be honest.
These expectations may sound reasonable. But often, these things won't happen! So you end up frustrated and disappointed.

There's a better strategy. Have fewer demands. Instead, have preferences! For things that are beyond your control, tell yourself:
"I WOULD PREFER "A", BUT IF "B" HAPPENS, IT'S OK TOO!" This is really a game that you play in your head. It is a shift in attitude, and it gives you more peace of mind. You prefer that people are polite...
but when they are rude, it doesn't ruin your day. You prefer sunshine...
but rain is ok!

To become happier, we either need to
a) change the world, or
b) change our thinking. It is easier to change our thinking!


IN A NUTSHELL
It’s not what happens to you that determine your happiness. It's how you think about what happens to you

[sujatadahiya]

Dear jitender ,
Apke man mai jo girls kay liye vehem baith gaya hai usay plz nikal bahar keejiye . Sirf chand ladkiyo ki galatiyo ki vajeh say poori stree jati ko dosh mat deejiye . Na toh is duniya mai sabhi mard poori tareh sarva gun sammpann hai hai aur na hi sari streeya . Galatiya insano say hi hua karti hai . Kisi ek aadmi ki galati say poori jati ko dosh dena , ya un say nafrat karna kaha tak , aur kitna thik hai ? Ladkiyo ko bhi ladke log kafi discriminate kiya kartay hai , lekin iska matlab ye nahi ki hum sare ladko say nafrat karne lage . Mai apni tareef kay pul nahi bandh rahi , lekin ye sach hai ki mai apne dono bhaieyo say jyada acchi drive karti hu , lekin phir bhi ladke khud galati kar kay ye boltay hai ki ladki hai chalani toh aati nahi , galati unki hai , aur ye jantay hue bhi vo ladki keh kar dosh detay hai . Lekin iska matlab ye nahi ki mai sabhi ladko ko doshi maan lu . Ye duniya hai yaha har tareh kay insan hai . Ek say badh kar ek acche bhi hai aur eki say badh kar ek maskhare bhi . Lekin kuch logo ki galat harkato ko dil say nahi lagana chahiye , khush rehna chahiye . aur maaf karna seekhiye . MAI MANTI HU KI LADKIYA BHI BEVAKOOFIYA KIYA KARTI HAI lekin aap bataiye kya ladke nahi kartay ?
Mai dekhti hu ki bohot si ladkiyo ki aadat hoti hai muh chikda chikda kar bolne ki , jaroorat say jyada style marne ki , aisi ladkiyo say muje bohot irritation hoti hai , lekin aap bataeye kya aisa hi kuch ladke nahi kartay kya ? Maine aisay ladke bhi dekhe hai jo un ladkiyo say bhi jyada muh chikdate hai , style martay hai aur nihayat hi vahiyaat lagtay hai . Ladkiya hi nahi ladkay bhi ladkiyo ko pareshan kartay hai aur ladkay jyada taadaat mai ladkiyo ko tang kiya kartay hai .
YE DUNIYA HAI YAHA KOI BHALA NAHI KOI BURA NAHI JISKI CHAL JATI HAI VAHI DOOSARE KO KAAT DETA HAI . LADKIYO KI CHAL JAI TOH VO LADKO KO NAHI BAKHSHATI AUR LADKO KI CHAL JAI TOH VO BHI KAMI NAHI CHODATAY .
Aur mai ek baar phir apsay guzarish karti hu ki apne dil say ye sab nikal deejiye aur ek saaf suthra nazariya apnaeye . Doosaro ko khushiya deejiye lekin acche ki ummed mat keejie , khush rahiye , mast rahiye .
Is duniya mai sabhi ladkiya moorakh nahi hai . Sabhi ladkiya ek jaisi nahi hai . Ek ki galati kay liye sabko dosh na diya kare .
Mai dua karoongi apke liye ki aaj kay baad bevakoof logo say apka samna na ho . Acchi acchi girls aapki life mai aaye taaki aapki aankon ka ye kala chashma hat jai .

Aur ha mai sabhi padhne walo say request karti hu ki meri kisi baat ka bura na mane , maine ye sab kisi ki bhavanao ko thes pahuchane kay liye nahi likha . Lekin phir bhi mujh say koi bhool ho gai ho toh maaf keejiega . Aakhir mai bhi insaan hu , aur galatiya insano say hi hua karti hai .

[bnashier]

Sujata Ji:

Very well said. A very good piece of advice indeed.

[quote]Sujata Dahiya (Sep 12, 2003 11:50 a.m.):

[ranjitjat]

Sujata ji and Budh ji
I agree with you very wise advice by Sujata. She set an example that girls have talent , wise thoughts and human feeling as well. some time better in all fields.
Bahut samjhdari ki batt kahi hae.
Jahan per Nari Satkar hota hae-
vaha Daewatao ka bas hota hae
Nafarat- hate asi bimari hae
Jo insaniyat ki dusman hae
HATE ki jagah Love karo
Manav matar sy Payar Karo
EVILS SY nafarat HATE KARO !!!!

[rameshlakra]

sujata ji ..... very well said ....taliya taliya ( i could not find a emotion for that :)
dear all and respected elders here
there is a very good book i came across titled " why men dont listen & women cant read maps " by allan and barabara pease , and i suggest , in order to find out why men and women behave so .
on a lighter side ye to zindagi ke rang hai , colourful people of coloured emotion and life ...
sab log ek jasie aur aache hote to na to aachai ki kadar hoti aur na hi life ke rang hote . one could imagine how boring it is to see everything black or white . to phir bhaiyo aur behno wish we have more colours and coloured natured people in our lives .

[rkumar]

Sujata has put very matured thoughts. My personal views are that among jats we do not see much of intermixing of boys and girls at viallge level. Village culture some how does not permit it. There is a very clear segregation of boys and girls. This leads to many one sided assumptions about each other.

To share my own experience, If I sum up the total time I must have spoken to any girl till I was 21 yrs of age, was not more than 24 hrs...which comes to hardly an hour per year. I was not alone. The story was same with all the boys of my age. Even today its no better. When they meet in colleges and universities, the communiaction is poor and often wild. To me this is a social issue and we need to apply some thoughts on it. Let me hear what other members have to say...

Rajendra

[ajaynehra]

Gear Mr. Hooda, your statement in the end is contradicting . You can't respect anybody whom you hate. This is human nature. But dear Cheer up and try to refresh your brin cells for the those incidents which are time and again forcing to to think in the same direction.

Pesonally , I beleive that you should give up this thought and try to look the other side of same story ,

See females are : Mother , Sister, Wife , .................. which you can't afford to hate....


So cheer Up and be a SOLID JAt Boy .....

choti choti baaten dil ko nahi lagaani chahiyen , abhi to life padi hai .....


Please don't mind any of my comment.
apologies in advance.


NEHRA AJAY

[akshay]

Dear Dharmpal Ji, Sujata Ji,
Thanks for advicing Mr. Jitender that he should not hate girls.
In my thinking Nari Mahan Hai.
Dear Dharmpal Ji I want to said some words to you.

Nari Tyag Ki Murti Hai.
Sabse Pehle Vahe Vo Hame Janam Deti hai. Phir Palti HAi. Uski Har Tareh se Raksha Karti Hai.Phir uski Shadi Karti hai. APna Sara Janam Apne Bacho par Naushavar Kar Deti Hai.

Sachmuch Nari Mahan Hai. Aise NAri Ko Mera Sat Sat Pranam.
Regards,
Akshay Balhara, BE (Computer),
Village & Post Office: Bahu Akbar Pur, District Rohtak

[anilkc]

if u hate girls, its ur problem and 1 less for others.

[saroj]

Jitender,

I read your article and I felt like going back to my student life. The student life was full of fun no worry of any kind. Don’t you think that was a golden time of our life? Those mischievous behaviours from our fellow students regardless of gender remind me about our naïve era of the life. Now we have passed that age. Do you see any woman or man is doing that sort of acting? No everyone is busy in running their life. I’m sure one day when you remember those incidents you will laugh and you will think that was the best time of your life. Please don’t feel bad about girls or boys enjoy your life as mush as you can. All the best for your future plan. With best regards.

Saroj Godara

[ranjitjat]

Dear all
This is a personal problems yes.
But because now it is known to public. this is social problem as well.
If a young person hate- opposite sex in this age- this is not normal. It could be medical problems.
Yah koe mansik baemari bhi ho sakati hae. jiska nam laena bhi bura samajha jata hae. this is common in west.
think about it. It could be your son /daughter or relative.

[jitenderhooda]

Dear All ,

It's nice to have ur sharings at this general talk topic .

But i think that many of u have stressed on the initial part and the catching word of this topic heading .


I have clearly mentioned


"No doubt Women should be given respect as they are our JANANI's , SISTER's , Wives,Dayghter's and NARI have a immense respect in Indian Culture ."

BUT STILL THERE ARE SOME GENERAL ISSUES -

"" I am yet to understand the double standard our society adopts when there is a female involved.

Why should we accord them special status?

How are they different from us?

Science says except for a certain chromosome, which determines the sex of a child, there isn't much difference between the birth of a male and a female.

Why, then, this discrimination?

In public transports, I see people vacating their seats for a standing woman -- out of 'respect' for her.

I still don't understand why men are not respected the same way.

What if it is an old man or a young boy carrying a heavy bag?

Would they be offered a seat with the same alacrity?

"""

PLEASE
COMMENT ON THE ABOVE MENTIONED PARA ..

Many of us are also such persons who do these without even noticing these or taking it as a part of our behaviour .

I AM STRONGLY AGREE TO WHAT

JAGMOHAN MALIK JI
SEWA SINGH JI
AND
SUJATA DAHIYA JI

HAS SAID .

SUJATA JI i am agree that all the fingers are not equal and that both male and females are doing wrong sometimes .

It's not that i am having all these at heart but by this topic i want to catch the people perspective

ONLY TO THOSE AREAS WHERE THEY ARE HAVING DUAL BEHAVIOUR BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN .

IT'S NOT TRUE .


DHARAMPAL JI , STILL USING JI ,

I WAS HAVING A GOOD PICTURE OF U AND FEELING U TO BE A RESPECTABLE PERSON.

BUT THIS REPLY OF UR'S IS NEITHER A MATURE ONE AND NOR IT GIVES A GOOD PICTURE OF Ur's .

I WILLNOT SAY ANYTHING BAD ABOUT YOU BECAUSE IT IS NOT IN MY NATURE AND NOR IT IS EXPECTED FROM U BEING AN OLD AND MATURE PERSON .

WAISE KAHENE KO TO BAHUT KUCH HO SAKATA HAI .....

JITEN

[ranjitjat]

Dear jitander
Sachai hamasa kadavi hoti hae.
I do not know you. It is wrong to ask for advice for personal problem on public platform of this nature.
if you do than you should be open mind for every rude - good- bad suggestion.
When some one said this is your problem. you should have close the topic.
a normal person will never try to fool himself by making joke of himself.
i only made general remarks in good faith that 10% people have medical reason. You may not need that help but it may help some one who is more shy.
Ji kah ya gali dae. kisi ko koe bimari hae to medical help laeni chahiye- samjhdari ki baat hae - yah sabhi per lagu hoti han.
Personal issue bana kar kue logo ko maja daeta hae.
topic nae band kar- isimae samajhdari hae.

[jitenderhooda]

It's not a matter of person or social one .

This is not a reply of the topic i have written.

Sachai kadavi hoti hai , i am not denying and also saying again that fun can be made of u also it's not a big thing , I was having an idea that u must be some cultured person but i found u to be


-------

I am again in limits.
So , again review ur reply

jiten

[ranjitjat]

YAh to hate list badh ti ja rahi hae.
girls ki jagah- abhi adami bhi hate list mae samil hogae han.
this is not a platform for personal issue. what is your problems
i requst to the moderators and adm. to close this type of hate mail for ever. nahi to jatland 1 hamour site hi rah jayagi.

[ranjitjat]

If it not personal not social. this is a hate mail. so why this one here .
what good it will bring.
12 sal pahaly kisi chori ny pani gaer diya. aab yo gumada phota.
asi hate mail sy duniya to majak kargi- kiskis ka muh vad karga ??

[sujatadahiya]

Dear jitender ,
Mai apke is sawal ka javab de rahi hu aap par koi ilzaam nahi laga rahi kripya prem say padiyega . Ladkiyo kay liye log bus mai seat kyo chodd detay hai ? ya kyo unke liye alag say seats reserve hoti hai ? Jabki stree aur purusho ko saman darja diya jata hai etc etc , Lekin aap bataeye kya streeyo ko vakai mai samaan darja diya jata hai ? Maine buses mai jyada safar nahi kya lekin jitna bhi kiya accha nahi laga . Streeyo kay sath buses mai ya doosare public places chahe vo kisi railway station ka que ho ya kisi aur office ka que ho girls kay liye separate que ka provision kyo hota hai ? kyoki sabhi purush is duniya mai sabhya nahi hai , vo aisai jagaho par streeyo kay sath badtamizi karne ka mauka dhoondhatay hai . kuch sabhya log jo ki aisay mai streeyo ko pareshan hote hue dekhtay hai toh unke liye seat khali kar detay hai ya unhe bina que mai lage khud hi unka kaam karva detay hai . Mera khud ka experience hai hum log vaishno devi gaye hue thay vaha darshan karne ke liye no. liya jata hai , uske liye kafi lambi kataar lagi hui thi jismai ki ek kataar streeyo ki thi aur ek purusho ki thi . Un mai say kuch purusho nay aitraaz kiya ki strreeyo ko alag que kyo banane diya . Un mai jo log cheekh cheekh kar ladies que ka virodh kar rahe thay darasal unke sath koi stree nahi thi aur isliye unhe lambe que mai lagna pad raha tha , aur jin logo ki wife ya behen ya koi aur female relative sath thi vo ladies que ki tarafdari kar rahe thay , khair lad jhagad kar ladies ko unhone apne que mai lagne par majboor kar diya . Mai ye sab chup chap door khadi dekh rahi thi . Phir jo streeya us que mai purusho kay sath khadi thi waha chedchaad shuru ho gai . Aur streeya jyadatar aisay mauko par chup ho jati hai . Muje ye sab dekh kar bohot gussa aaya toh maine un aadmiyo par teekhay genral comments kiye toh meri friend muje pakad kar door le gai . Muje vo sab dekh kar bohot gussa bhi aaya aur depression bhi hua . Ab aap hi bataeye ki agar apki sister , mom ya koi bhi aisi stree jisi aap izzat kartay hai ap chaengay ki uske sath aisa ho ? Aap apni behen ya beti kay sath bus mai safar kar rahe ho aur vo simat simat kar apke nazdeek aati ja rahi ho toh kya aap nahi chahenge ki usay seat mile ? kya aap bus mai seat par baithengay aur apni sister ko bus kay khachakach passage me khada rehne dengay ? kya aap apni behen kay liye seat khali nahi karengay ?
Agar aap apni behen kay liye seat khali nahi karengay toh mai kahoongi vakai ye system galat hai , aisa nahi hona chahiye .
STREE AUR PURUSHO KO YADI SAMAN DARJA DIYA GAYA HAI TOH KYO PURUSH STREEYO KAY SATH AISI GHATIYA HARKATAY KARTAY HAI ?
KYO UNHE BHI EK INSAN KI TERH REHNE NAHI DIYA JATA ?
KYO SIRF UNHE EK INSAAN NAHI MANA JATA ?

[akdabas]

Sujata Ji,

you are very right, very right.

[jitendersingh]

Dear Jitu Sir, Sujata Ji, and Dudee Uncle,

What is happening out here is an debate making no sense. There is one having grudge with a particular part of the society due to evils of few of them, and justifying himself again and again. Ther is no need to it, we agree, that it happened to you. But just think would you say 'I hate my sister because somebody sister did the evil?' No way. And niether you should.
Sujata ji, and Dudee uncle, I know the person involved personally, and assure that there is not problem like somebody in the west are facing. It is just an matter of getting a platform to throw away his feeling and he did. Maybe he was unaware of the consequencies of throwing up such an issue on a public place is niether ethical and nor logical.
Finally, i would like the discussion to be finished with as good the feeling as it was before the beginning of this issue.
Jitu Sir, "Nobody is good for everybody, and nobody is bad for everybody."
Hope you understand.

PS: Do not hurt the feelings of anybody over a public place.

[sujatadahiya]

Excuse me mr jitender singh ji,

Ive not said a single word abt the problem,s of people in west , right ?

Ive just tried to highlight the problem,s of indian ladies , n there is nothing to feel bad abt it .

And if still u guys are feeling bad abt it ,


IM SORRY OKAYY .

[jitenderhooda]

Dear All ,

I also donot want such a good place of discussions of our JATs to be involved in such ongoing useless arop - pratyarop.

But i request all the members to be in limits when they reply , it's alright that some donot like the discussions then he/she

can simply go forward without comments or comments that can realise the person that he is somewhat gone away off the track without hurting his/her feelings.

Sujata Ji , There is nothing to feel bad about this, as this is the reality .

" This is the sachai . "

Sujata u r right and what u explained is all right i agree but there is other part of this also ,

There r situations when an old person keep standing and a young girl is given the seat , is it right ?

Haan sujata , u have mentioned about the fact that girls are misbehaved in the buses and in the queues then at those places

what should be done is that what u did at vaishno devi , that guy should be punished for his doing and usko beijjat karna

chahiye taki woh age se aisa na kare aur iss terah yeh silsila ruke , so that every brother shouldnot get worried of his sister

travelling in a khachakhach bus or que .

Dharampal Ji , U have written so much of good articles i do praise for that but this reply of your's is not as per ur image

and like that it should be.

I donot think so but even if i would have been wrong then u can simply tell ,"This topic is no way fruitfull and close this "

I apologize to the members of the JATLAND if they found me to be somewhere wrong .

Je tumneh meri koe baat galat lagi ho to iss jaat ki galti Maf kariyo .

IB TEIN THIK SE JITU BHAI

[jitendersingh]

Sujata Ji,

I am sorry, you misinterpretted it.
I was not referring to you.

What you said was genuinly right.



Sujata Dahiya (Sep 19, 2003 12:44 a.m.):
Excuse me mr jitender singh ji,

Ive not said a single word abt the problem,s of people in west , right ?

Ive just tried to highlight the problem,s of indian ladies , n there is nothing to feel bad abt it .

And if still u guys are feeling bad abt it ,


IM SORRY OKAYY .

[uday]

Yatra Nariyestu Pujantey, Tatrra Ramantey Deva !!

[jagmohan]

Jiten, Dudee Ji, Sujata and Friends,

Bhai, Military rule lagaana padega.

Dear Jitender, let me give you my frank opinoin on this topic and comments made by Dudee Ji. No I am not a judge of people nor very educated. As it is I am a 'Fauji', aur bhai faujion ki to akal ghutnon main hoti hain. Bhai if you look into my ear, you can actually look through them.

What Sujata said is right. There is discrimination against the fairer sex from times immemorial. Neither you nor I are responsible for it. Yes, we are responsible for how each one of us should behave with the weaker sex. Why it is called 'weaker' Jiten might ask? Like you are called Jiten and I Jagmohan, so are women called the weaker sex. We all know the kind of hypocracy that goes on in society. It was thought that with improvement in education some of the ills of society will go away but they haven't. Have you ever wondered as to why the Muslim nations have not been able to progress as much as they should have? Because they don't give equal opportunity to half their population ie women and girls. Let us not make the same mistakes.

At the cost of repetition let me say that please learn to respect each others view point, even if the view point is different than yours. I was the sixth child, amongst seven, to my parents (Don't blame me for increase in population, we only have one child) born after five lovely sisters. I could have been bullied by them to death if they wanted but I received so much of love and affection that I can't describe it here. Bhai. ankhayn mein paani aajahe jab bahan yaad aa ja hein.

Never ever hate anyone in life. Who are you to hate anybody when God has made everyone equal? Remember each one of us is a miniscule part of 'Paramatman'. Detach yourself philosophically for a while and you would find the people and the world so beautiful. Personally, I believe I am blessed to be able to interact with you all. Imagine so few of us out of a total population of over 7 Billion. Aren't we blessed?

Jiten, what Dudee Ji said can be only said by those who care for you. Yes. There are very few people who have the strength to give a correct advise. He never said that you have a medical problem. And he is right when he says that personal problem should not become a matter of discussion in such public forums. Though I don't think you have any such personal problem but should you or me or anyone have one it can be discussed privately. This is plain common sense. However, you have a right to speak your mind and put across your point. Do so polietly and respectfully. Never ever give a feeling of anger, hatred and disrespect to others, more so to the elders. How can we prosper as a community if we can't even observe basic decorum.

I hope I have not offended anyone. If I have done so, I ask for forgiveness.

Lt Col JS Malik (Retd)
JAT BALWAN, JAI BHAGWAN

[ranjitjat]

. Re:I Hate Girls ??? read - WHY?


Sujata ji and Budh ji
I agree with you very wise advice by Sujata. She set an example that girls have talent , wise thoughts and human feeling as well. some time better in all fields.
Bahut samjhdari ki batt kahi hae.
Jahan per Nari Satkar hota hae-
vaha Daewatao ka bas hota hae
Nafarat- hate asi bimari hae
Jo insaniyat ki dusman hae
HATE ki jagah Love karo
Manav matar sy Payar Karo
EVILS SY nafarat HATE KARO !!!!

Col Sahib and dear all
If my son or daughter say or write
I HATE PEOPLE.
I will give same advice as above .
hate is a illness . if not treated it could leed to other serious illness. there are many doctors on site you can take their advice. LAEKIN VAH ES JHAMALY MAE NAHI PADANA CHAHATY- KAHATY HAN PADHE LIKH JAT KO KOAN SAMAJHA SAKATA HAE.
So hate ka gumada jitana jaldi fhot ja achha hae . nahi to yah bimari social cancer ban kar jat samaj ko kha jaye gi.
Baki samaj sewa ka medal jat ky pas gali hi hoti han. yah lesson to jatland nahi thi jab sy hi sekh rakha hae. margdarshan karny bale ki thikany lagana.
sikh dae bandra ghar vaye ka jaye.
ghar jalakar gaum ky aak karna
EEKH MAE BHAINS BADNA
YAH TO JATOO KA CHARCTER HAE . JABI TO CHARO TARAF KALSHA KA BOL BALA HAE
JAT DAETA KI JAI.
HOW MUCH TIME AND ENERGY WE HAVE WASTED ON THIS USE LESS POINT.
ON EDUCATION WE HAVE 3 reply on this 27.
HOW POSITIVE OUR MIND THINKING including me.
JAYRAMAJI KI

[akdabas]

Dahiya Bhai,

Iska matlab te samjha do, meri te kati kuch samajh mein nahin aaya :-)



Uday Dahiya (Sep 19, 2003 05:37 a.m.):
Yatra Nariyestu Pujantey, Tatrra Ramantey Deva !!

[rsdalal]

Ashok Bhai
Janha Narri Puji jaye, vanhi Dev Baste hain.

Uday Bhai,
Sankrit Kafi yadd hai apko ab tak.


Ashok Kumar Dabas (Sep 19, 2003 09:54 a.m.):
Dahiya Bhai,

Iska matlab te samjha do, meri te kati kuch samajh mein nahin aaya :-)



Uday Dahiya (Sep 19, 2003 05:37 a.m.):
Yatra Nariyestu Pujantey, Tatrra Ramantey Deva !!

[akdabas]

Ranvir Bhai,

Ib ke samajh mein aa gai baat. Aap to kati sanskrit ke guru ho rahe so..

Dhanyawad !



Ranvir Singh Dalal (Sep 19, 2003 12:34 p.m.):
Ashok Bhai
Janha Narri Puji jaye, vanhi Dev Baste hain.

Uday Bhai,
Sankrit Kafi yadd hai apko ab tak.


Ashok Kumar Dabas (Sep 19, 2003 09:54 a.m.):
Dahiya Bhai,

Iska matlab te samjha do, meri te kati kuch samajh mein nahin aaya :-)



Uday Dahiya (Sep 19, 2003 05:37 a.m.):
Yatra Nariyestu Pujantey, Tatrra Ramantey Deva !!

[ajmer]

Folks,

Jiten has raised a very valid issue. Sujata has raised the other side of the same issue. The main issue being discussed here is the "gap" the society has created/maintained between men and women. I know some people have assumed that Jiten is trying to discuss his personal problems here. But that is not the case. Trying to hijack the discussion or trying to stop the flow of ideas is not good, as someone has already said, we should learn to respect everyone's viewpoints. In fact, our viewpoints are the one by which others will judge us.

I know it is all about a social issue and not anyone's personal problem. Just because someone has included some examples from his real life doesn't make an issue personal. Both sides of the issue are very valid in their own senses. The heading could have been a little better but then there won't be any controversy. And the topic won't be as read. And I, you and many of you who will pitch in soon won't be the one talking about it because some of us hardly talk about anything on this board.

Now talking about the issue - there is no easy answer to all the questions Jiten and Sujata has raised. Once again, someone has already pointed out that this is a social issue and this is probably because the way we are raised (boys and girls as far apart from each other). I keep calling this an issue because I hesitate to call it a social problem.

On the one hand if you come to think about it a hirarchical powered structure is better for the healthy existance of an entity. I remember in my family my Dada Ji has the ultimate power. Every decision would be approved by him. Nothing will be done without his approval in the family. My Dadi Ji was second in command. I think such a family structure will have less problem because people know thier power. Yes, it is questionable why my Dada Ji was the commander-in-cheif and not my Dadi Ji. That probably feeds into Sujata's side of the issue. Look at these days - everyone is powerful in the family in the name of equality. There is no respect for elders and hence no pressure for keeping the family structure together and see what is becoming of the families. No, this is not my personal problem, I am talking about the society in general.

I must point out that an hirarchical structure is healty as long as people in the power don't mis-use their power. And by no means I am suggesting trying to keep the ladies opressed just to maintain the hirarchy.

Yes, we all (most of us, I should say) understand the issue and there is no easy answer to the questions raised from both sides. There is really no answer in the short-term. In the long run we would think that education and awareness will make us rise and bring us closer. But there is no gaurantee, look at the western world.

While we are at it let me raise some real problem in our society. I think the biggest social problem (Samajik Bimari) is the corruption (riswatkhori). This is really the cancer of the society today. It keeps taking over the entire society and it is affecting almost everything today. It has slowed down the entire progress in our society. Look what it has done to the education, the efficiency of the government and the overall progress of the society. There is no real easy solution to the problem. I think eductaion with strong push on ethics (Naitikta) could help here. Is there such a subject in our education system? Another thing which can help is awareness and making people concious about not helping corruption. But none of this is an easy task.

Another big problem is the dowry system. there is no real easy answer for this. I think the girls have to help here by getting educated and by being able to get to the top. By all means it seems girls are already doing better at education in almost all areas there. It is just a matter of time when girls will assume the power in the government and corporate sector.

There are many more problems but just listing them and just keep talking about them doesn't help any. I think the society is in need of some basic things to grow healthy and prosprous. I call these basic things three E's and an H. These are Education, Environment, Employment and Healthcare. Yes, these things are available in our society but they are not affordable to the general public. Now think how can we make them available to the aam aadmi. In fact, I was just working on that when I took this break to write and tell you all about it.

Crawling back under my rock and back to the work.

-ajmer

[jitenderhooda]

dear all ,

First of all thanks for Ajmer to point to the actual point on which i really want to have this discussion to be ,
jitender bhai
that was the reason why i was re-justifying myself.

The reality is this that one day i was surfing the net and get this article somewhere and copied it in notepad, but forget the
site and author name.

I found this topic to be having some real thinkings that many people have and there are discussions in the trains and buses

regarding this and found it to be a matter of public discussion in social concern and not the personal one .

I personally found both the sides true in their views but i am slighlty tilted towards the men part .

So , i have an idea to raise this point in this site and to get all your views on this point .

Sujata Ji , Jagmohan Malik Ji , Sewa Singh Ji and many others give good views but unfortunately some found it to be a

personal problem .

May be the reality is that Dharampal ji is leaving abroad and have not discussed this point here in india in the trains and

buses while travelling and neither had a feel of this peoblem in practical.

But anyhow , I was wrong in saying bad word to him and so i have apologised personally also but he has an opinion that i

should do it in public on the same site , So i have no problem in it Dharampal ji --- " I say sorry to u that i used bad word and i should respect all in all moods of mine , app mujse bade hein aur mujhe yeh shabad nahi use karna chahiye tha "

But i will quote again that Mr. Jagmohan Ji , though Mr dharampal ji didnot point me directly but it was a golmol baat and i

still think was not appropriate .

Haan Dharampal Ji , u also said that people are making majak of this , So I tell u that i think that this site is used by

understanding and educated jats and they are of such character that they will LAUGH WITH US AND NOT ON US ( and

for that we are having the humor section also ) .

AND NOW AFTER A LONG SEARCH I FOUND THIS TOPIC WAS ON

http://in.rediff.com/news/2003/sep/01diary.htm

WRITTEN BY

GIRI KUMAR .

SO READERS ,PLEASE POINT ON THE REAL MATERIAL OF DISCUSSION HERE LEAVING THE INITIAL PART WHICH

IS HAVING THE GIRI KUMAR'S REAL EXPERIENCES .

Thanks Sujata ji and all again for nice and healthy views on this topic .

WE SHOULD RESPECT ALL IN ALL MOODS.

NOW ONWARDS PLEASE DONOT MAKE PERSONAL COMMENTS ....... APOLOGISE FOR ANY THING WRONG.

JITEN

[uday]

Dear Jitender,
It is nice that you mention URL addy which will help in erasing lot of doubts.

Appeal to All members:- I never surf such a 'CHARACTERFUL' public site as is JATLAND.COM so let's maintain it's 'VALUES' for uplift of our people only. All JATLAND members are directly \ indirectly honoring other commitments, thoughts and words.


Jatland.com have a thousand people,
smart people, intelligent people, happy people, peppy people, courteous people, forward thinking people, creative people – join hands for Jatland.com coz WE CARE FOR OUR PEOPLE, IT IS PEOPLE WE RESPECT AND PRIDE.

[ranjitjat]

Dear Jitander
Thank you clearing the points.
I also advice to you to change the heading and delete insulting mails.
i said so many times and repeating again.
I wrote for and angainst the heading. This is free and fair debate mean in any society.
for all others mambers
the heading is goalmol and confusing.
lighter side for heading only khasama

ya to untt nahi to bhot jarur hae.
Dantala khasam ka hasty ka pata na rotay ka.
for serious people.
Many people feel this heading is still insult to women.
Asking a Q?
How you can allow such a degrading heading
when u say - NARI KI Pooja honi chahiye
others say
frist week it was personal problem
2nd week - social problems
3rd week - Social issue
4 - Highjack
5- personal issue
6- double standard
7 th week 3H
HATE+ HIGHJACK+ HEALTH=3 H = 3E
8 week - BIAS
9 -DELETE
HATE ITSELF A PROBLEM
HATE LEAD TO TERRIORISM TO BIL_LADAN

AGAIN THIS IS NOT A PERSONAL ATTACK ON ANY ONE. BUT A LIVE EXAMPLE OF FREE AND FAIR SPEECH.
IT ALSO SHOW HOW MUCH WE RESPECT WOMEN. ELDERS AMD EACH OTHER POINT OF VIEW.
So carry on good work.

[narindersingh]

Budh Nashier (Sep 12, 2003 01:36 p.m.):
Sujata Ji:bikual theek kaha sujata ji neih
mere unke baat se pura agree karta huin


Very well said. A very good piece of advice indeed.

[quote]Sujata Dahiya (Sep 12, 2003 11:50 a.m.):

[drnchaudhry]

Ajmer Singh Dahiya (Sep 19, 2003 06:38 p.m.):
Folks,

While we are at it let me raise some real problem in our society. I think the biggest social problem (Samajik Bimari) is the corruption (riswatkhori). This is really the cancer of the society today. It keeps taking over the entire society and it is affecting almost everything today. It has slowed down the entire progress in our society. Look what it has done to the education, the efficiency of the government and the overall progress of the society. There is no real easy solution to the problem. I think eductaion with strong push on ethics (Naitikta) could help here. Is there such a subject in our education system? Another thing which can help is awareness and making people concious about not helping corruption. But none of this is an easy task.

Another big problem is the dowry system. there is no real easy answer for this. I think the girls have to help here by getting educated and by being able to get to the top. By all means it seems girls are already doing better at education in almost all areas there. It is just a matter of time when girls will assume the power in the government and corporate sector.

There are many more problems but just listing them and just keep talking about them doesn't help any. I think the society is in need of some basic things to grow healthy and prosprous. I call these basic things three E's and an H. These are Education, Environment, Employment and Healthcare. Yes, these things are available in our society but they are not affordable to the general public. Now think how can we make them available to the aam aadmi. In fact, I was just working on that when I took this break to write and tell you all about it.

Crawling back under my rock and back to the work.

-ajmer
---------------------------------------------
Ajmer Singh Ji,
Bimari to dono gambhir sai.
Aapne bade - bujurg kah gaye ki samashya jitni complex ho sai ush ka tod utna e simple ho sai.
Esh mai koi do raai nahi ke aaj bharastachar aapni charm seema per sai. Per koyee aapne dhora naa aataa demand le kee, ulta hum jaasa ke jo lena hoo le le, lekin mahara kam ek dum pucca hona chahiye.
Hum ne khud se yo waida karn ki jarurt sai ke paise de kar naukri nahi chahiye, agar jarurat pari to koi bhi majduri karunga.
Kahana aasan hai. KAU? Esh bimari ki jad hai 'feeling of insecurity' aur vajah hai ke hum ek cheej ke piche par jaate hai aur pher woh kishi bhi halaat mai puri honi chahiye nahi to Narender, Narender nahi aur Ajmer, Ajmer nahi.
Eska meri najar mai samadhan yoh sai ke har kise nai multy option raakhne chahiye. enginery nahi to doctory sahi, doctory nahi to forces sahi, forces nahi to civil sahi, Naukri nahi to kheti sahi nahi to Ramphal ka dhaba. Esh duniya mai koyee ek kaam to hoga jo hum kar sakah aur jarurat pade to takkar bhi de sakah. Hum nai insan ko profession se upper rakhna chahiye aur hahesha What if? ke liye tayaar rahana hai.
Dikhan mai yaa social bimaari sai lakin jar eshki personal sai. eshliye khud ko atal rahna parega.
Kai mokkaa aawangaa jub kati andhraa najar aawagaa, lekin pher subah hogi. Maa, baap, bhai-bhen, mittra, etc honshala baandhan mai madad kar sakahn sai.
Eb rahi baat dahej ki to ladke nai khud se waida karana sai ke duniya chaahe gobar khati rahe lakin mai ne aapni boli na lagwani. Ladki nai bhi baraber ka sathi dekhna chahiye aur janhan demand ho ush jaghan time waiste nahi karanaa sai. Maa, baap nai bhi dahej ke bajaye chori ko ush kai para pai khada hon mai madad karni padegi aur pher baad mai chori tai milta julta rista dekh le.
Ek baar maa, baap, bhen - bhai and personal level per yo kaam kar ki dikha de to pher 2nd phase mai hum dusran ko motivate kar sakahn.
Awareness to ebb suru ki jaa sakah sai