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View Full Version : Love Marriage or Arrange Marriage which is more succesfull ?



dayvraj
July 23rd, 2004, 03:30 PM
Pals and Pallies I wish to know your your views on this subject!

Is Love marriage more successful then Arranged Marriage

Incase this has been discussed before , please gimme the URL for the same .

I guess the most important Turn in life is when you get married, Suddenly after the lovely bachelorship/spinster* you are living you have to start thinking of someone who is living with you sharing the same bed , you have to be back on time because someone is waiting for you back home ! Now if this turn in life, if this decision in life is not correct your life is all in a mess .

rkumar
July 23rd, 2004, 04:20 PM
There is no such rule as to which is more successful. Had love marriages been all successful, there would not have been divorces in the west and vice verse. One has to work to make marriage successful and there is no shortcut my friend. In my views neither has any merit over other. Its all case to case basis. Love is a very rare event and I don't belive that all so called love marriages are love marriages. In real love, marrigaes or no marriage, the relation will last life time or may be even after life.

Rajendra

dayvraj
July 23rd, 2004, 04:53 PM
It's kinda well known that arranged marriages are like lotteries. You either win the jackpot, a small prize, break even or lose.

Don't you all agree that arranged marriages are the decisions made using logic. Love marriages are born outta passion. In other words, while one is moulded from the precisely designed casts of the head, the other takes leap from the burning flames of heart's hearth. In my opinion, arranged marriages might last long but love marriages are more fulfilling.



But I haven't actually been there so it's the view of an outsider.

And in the end, it's all fate and destiny.....

rkumar
July 23rd, 2004, 06:31 PM
Dayvraj (Jul 23, 2004 07:23 a.m.):
It's kinda well known that arranged marriages are like lotteries. You either win the jackpot, a small prize, break even or lose.

Don't you all agree that arranged marriages are the decisions made using logic. Love marriages are born outta passion. In other words, while one is moulded from the precisely designed casts of the head, the other takes leap from the burning flames of heart's hearth. In my opinion, arranged marriages might last long but love marriages are more fulfilling.



But I haven't actually been there so it's the view of an outsider.

And in the end, it's all fate and destiny.....

Logic or no logic all the available data proves that so called love marriages fail much more than arranged marriages. Ofcourse I do not classify all un-arranged marriages as love marriages. People often get mixed up with lust and love..what begins as a lust and ends in marriage can not be called as a love marriage at any rate...and mind you 90% of these so called love marriages are lust marriages and this is why majority fail...

Rajendra

danarambeerda
July 23rd, 2004, 07:48 PM
Marriage arranged by our parents ( kaka, dada, baba, mama, nana, tau, fufa, etc...) is always succesfull...

mbamal
July 23rd, 2004, 09:09 PM
Rajendra Kumar Kalkhunde (Jul 23, 2004 09:01 a.m.):People often get mixed up with lust and love..what begins as a lust and ends in marriage can not be called as a love marriage at any rate...and mind you 90% of these so called love marriages are lust marriages and this is why majority fail...Rajendra

Out of curiosity...Why is arranged marriage not "lust marriage" or why are these so called love marriages "lust marriages"...?

brainspeak
July 23rd, 2004, 09:20 PM
bhai Dayvraj itna mat soch!!.........
jyada sochega to love ke liye time nahin milega aur arranged ki teri umar nikal jayegi!!.........to bhai jo milta ho ussi mein khush raho aur apne aapko aur apne partner ko waise adjust karne ki socho!!...baaki teri marzi

rkumar
July 23rd, 2004, 09:37 PM
Mandeep Bamal (Jul 23, 2004 11:40 a.m.):

Out of curiosity...Why is arranged marriage not "lust marriage" or why are these so called love marriages "lust marriages"...?

I think the circumstances under which two begin, makes the difference. In lust marriage one fantasizes with a particular person and then submits to the urge to have the person ,where as in arranged marriage one makes the mind to marry and goes around looking for a suitable person. Lust for a particular person never plays major role in arranged marriage as there is no particual person on the scene. This is how I analyse. May be I am wrong...

Rajendra

ajaysinghbamel
July 24th, 2004, 12:05 AM
Hi,
There is unnecessary confusion on arrange marriage. If u think your parents know u and your requirement then the arrange marriage is the best, Because it is not marriage between two people but bringing together two families which give birth to a new family with past history in society.
On the other hand love marriage is either when there is no way out or you never had time to get out and if it is that then just enjoy and give birth to new family with unknowm history in society.

Don't worry be happy and enjoy to the best.

shobhitdeshwal
July 24th, 2004, 12:45 PM
The gifts of engagement are equally important but different for men and women. A woman will be more successful in marriage by remembering the clear and loving feelings she experienced while being engaged. For the rest of her life,she wil be able to reach back and reconnect with the part of her that trusts, accepts and appreciates her partner.
The special commitment her partner makes to her helps her to find the part of her which is self assured, receptive, and responsive. later on, when life becomes mundane and routine, she will be able to reach back and find the part of her that can create romance and is inspired by giving and recieving love.
During the engagement, a man also collects a series of experiences and memories that will affect him for the rest of his life. When he experiences his partner without the stresses of marriage, but with clear recognition that he wants to share his life with her, he is able to feel his most confident, purposeful and responsible self.
Without the pressures of marriage, a man has many opportunities to experience his power to provide. This confidence gives him the power and commitment to solve the problems and resolve the conflicts that will arise in the future.
Being engaged gives a man the future ability to connect with the most noble part of who he is. At times of stress, he is able to reach back and remember the promises he made when his heart was open. He is able to reconnect with that part of him that deeply cares, respects, and cherishes his partner.
I VOTE FOR LOVE MARRIAGE.
enjoy,
Shobhit Deshwal.

jagmohan
July 24th, 2004, 02:50 PM
An honest answer would be NONE!!!

Jokes apart, I would like to comment on few complicated terms that have been discussed and commented upon in this and other similar threads. I would like to point out to few 'basic issues'. These are basic but the key to success or failure of any relationship is hidden in these very basic issues. Let me take them one by one.

GETTING ALONG VERY WELL: What is getting along very well means? Does this means that the wife (arranged or loved!) should completely mould herself to be able to get along well with the boy's family? Or does it mean that it is everyone's duty to adjust to a new member of the family. Is this mill stone of 'getting along' meant only for the woman?

JUST FALL IN LOVE: What makes people 'just fall' in love without even spending a day with each other? Though this question has occupied mankind from times immemorial and enough volumes have been written on it, I still fail to understand how one can 'just fall in love' and then decide to spend the rest of his/her life together.

HAPPILY MARRIED: What is the measure of being happily married? Who would judge as to who is happily married or not? There may be happiness on the out side for public comsumption and sheer drudgery otherwise.

SHE SHOULD ADJUST: Why don't you make small sacrifices to make her comfortable? If she has to 'get along' and 'adjust' and other things then what difference does it make whether the wedlock is 'arranged' or 'through love'.

Now comes the famous question, Love marriage or Arranged one? I believe love marriage is a recent phenomenon, historically speaking. I agree exceptions were always there and will be. I would also like to believe that my grandfather and father were very happily married and their's was an arranged marriage. And how can I forget the twinkle in my grandmother's eyes when she spoke about my grandfather, whom I didn't see. I am sure that was love. Members may agree that our parents have had successful marriages and have given us what we have today after a lot of sacrifices.

My pet quote once again "If you are broadminded, apply it on your children"

So, my dear Dayvraj, tell your parents what I told my uncle. I had told him "I will not go 'girl seeing and mithai eating' at 100 places to select a bride. I will go to one place which you recommend and say 'YES'. And the girl should be such that she should be able to carry herself as an Army Officer's wife as also retain all the qualitie's of a JATNI". Bhai, I was lucky. Got married to my PARO (she is from UP). Has been 20 years now and the love seems to be growing strong each passing day. We have a 19 year old son and have told him in no uncertain terms "Bhai, hum bilkul bhag daud nahin karenge. Apni banno khud dhoond liye. Ek joint reception hoga jiska kharcha hum par hoga aur bahu ek jodi kapde mein aavegi".

As simple as that. Why complicate life?

Regards