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rsdalal
June 12th, 2002, 06:57 PM
http://www.tribuneindia.com/2002/20020612/haryana.htm#3

Panchayat orders couple to divorce
Our Correspondent

Fatehabad, June 11
In an incident reminiscent of the medieval era, a mahapanchayat of Beniwal Khap from 52 villages ordered a couple to get divorced within a fortnight as the panchayat considered their marriage “socially bad”. The mahapanchayat would meet again in case the couple failed to comply with its decision.

According to reports, Mr Krishan Kumar Beniwal, a resident of Mochiwala village in this district had married his daughter Suman to Mr Baljor Singh Sheokand of Kakroda village in Jind district on March 24, 2002.

Kakroda is a small village with a population of 1500. About 20 families belonging to the Beniwal gotra also reside in this village. When they came to know of this marriage, they raised an objection on the plea that they could not accept a girl as their daughter-in-law, who was like their daughter, being born in a Beniwal family.

They approached leaders of the Beniwal Khap to intervene in the matter. A meeting of the Khap was held and the couple was asked to get divorced.

But when both sides refused to accept the verdict of the panchayat, a mahapanchayat of the Khap was held yesterday. Senior leaders of the Beniwal Khap, including a former MLA, panches and sarpanches of 52 villages, participated. A zila parishad member, Ms Suman Lata Siwatch, opposed the mahapanchayat move, saying that it was against our culture to break the marriage of a girl forcibly. She walked out of the meeting when she found the other members adamant on their stand.

The mahapanchayat decided in favour of dissolving the marriage and issued a fatwa in this regard.

scsheorayan
June 13th, 2002, 05:04 AM
It just goes to show the level to which Jat community has descended. They will rather destroy the life of their daughter than to see her living in their village. It is plain arrogance and nothing more. There is no justice in it looking from any angle. It is legally wrong and morally wrong. Any pressure on the couple to give up their legally married life is a sin with which Mahapanchayat has to live even if they are successful in separating them. This is one of the areas where educated Jats can help the community. They can support the victims of social injustice and redress these types of problems through an organisation which could challenge the decision of Mahapanchayat.

anurana
July 10th, 2002, 06:32 PM
http://www.tribuneindia.com/2002/20020710/haryana.htm#4

Boycott of family for defying mahapanchayat
Our Correspondent

Hisar, July 9
The Beniwal Mahapanchayat has decided to socially boycott the family of Mr Krishan Kumar, a resident of Mochi village in Fatehabad district, for marrying off his daughter against the wishes of the mahapanchayat.

The decision was taken at a specially convened meeting of the mahapanchayat held at the Jat dharmashala here on Sunday. The mahapanchayat also imposed a symbolic fine of one paisa on Mr Krishan Kumar. It resolved that no member of the Beniwal Khap would maintain any relation with Mr Krishan Kumar’s family.

It also asked its members not to attend any function organised by the boycotted family and not invite them to their functions also. The mahapanchat warned that if any member of the Beniwal Khap maintained relations with the boycotted family, it would take strict action against him.

Mr Krishan Kumar had married his daughter Suman to Mr Baljor Singh of Kakrod village in the district on March 24. Though Mr Baljor Singh was related to the Sheokand Khap, some families of Beniwal gotra were already living in the village and they objected to this relation. They took the matter to the Beniwal Khap. The khap called its meeting on June 9 and directed Mr Krishan Kumar to dissolve the marriage of his daughter within 15 days. Mr Krishan Kumar refused to agree to this.

After this, the khap called a special meeting of the representatives of 52 villages of Beniwal gotra and boycotted the family, though the panchayat found Suman and Mr Baljor Singh innocent and allowed them to live a married life. Earlier, Suman had threatened the panchayat members that she would commit suicide if the panchayat decided to dissolve their marriage. Taking it seriously, Mr Baljor Singh had taken his wife to Kakrod village before the panchayat meeting.

naveenadalal
July 10th, 2002, 09:50 PM
It is really disgusting. everyone has its own life & right to live their life in their own way without disturbing anyone else life. The mahapanchayat is elected by the people to see the favours & justice of people but here because of their low mentality, arrogant nature & ego problem they want to ruin the life of family on basis of issue or drama created by just 20 families. when they found that suman & balraj singh r innocent then what they want to get by boycotting the family,i think only fame nothing else. all these things related to gotras should be checked before marriage but if not checked and the couple was married & living happily with their family then there is no need to make a issue just because of 20families living
in the same village. I am totally agree with shubha chandji that they should challenge this decision thru some higher justice authorities.

these kind of things r really responsible for weakning our jat society.

scsheorayan
July 11th, 2002, 07:21 AM
Thanks for the additional news. Now the Mahapanchayat is at a receiving end because the family had the courage to say No to their decision. Next time this Mahapanchayat will not be in such a hurry to try and ruin some one's life. If there were more Jats like this family things will be much better for the whole community. This family does deserve applauds for standing up to the injustice. They will encounter initial harrassment from Mahapanchayat but in due course of time will hopefully emerge much stronger. Hope the Mahapanchayat also learns to recognise it's boundries and try to serve the community rather than playing God. There is one justice above all which prevails whether we like it or not. That is cause and effect. Every cause has it's effect and it is beyond our control to try and control the effect to our liking without changing to appropriate cause. Mahapanchayat should recognise this fact and try to find the right cause in order to achieve desired effect.
Do not be surprised if the name of Mahapanchayat has been used by some interest group to peddle influence or grind some other axe.
Good luck

shokeen123
July 11th, 2002, 08:46 AM
Some day we will look back at the injustices of our community and blame our silence in the name of false prestige. Don’t know why I am reminded of the popular short story titled “Panch Parmeshwar?” It is perhaps because the Panch is like God, and must render just verdict regardless of any pressures. If he/she can not deliver the right verdict he/she is doing disservice to the community and humanity.

Our culture still enjoys the good old double standard with regard to matrimony. The educated/elite enjoy and practice not only freedom of speech but also freedom of action. They do so in the privacy of their city dwelling where none of the Panchayat members are welcomed. Does anyone question them? No! The Panchayat doesn’t have such long hands! So who is recipient of such neanderthal? Of course the humble ones! And those who listen, and are willing to pay whatever price bestowed them. The ultimate victim in such cases however is the Jat youth; rather I should say the humble, village Jat youth, living under the false protection of the so-called Panchayats.

The older generation is still trying to cling on to the rigid values despite the winds of change. “We have always done like that” is the major stumbling block they are unable to see. There is no harm in practicing the old values as long as they don’t hurt innocent lives. But in cases such as this, where, the couple, for no fault of their own is subject to humiliation and torment, it is time to question and change such system!

Until such time that the educated youth on this board and in the remote villages have become parents, and their kids are armed with knowledge, education and confidence, things will remain unchanged. They are the ones who will defy all (unnecessary) traditions in the name of gotra, or unreasonable cultural compatibility. They will certainly take into account their individual goals in life, in addition to making sure they have done so with sound logical reasoning, and not necessarily to disgrace the community or the family. Until then we will perhaps witness a few more stories, each with a sacrificial goat, with lot of hurt and anguish, but in the end that too shall pass. I have a feeling it will happen in out lifetime; time and tide wait for none.

I am in no way denouncing the socially acceptable norms, and compatibility system already in place, but the unreasonable expectations of our culture that hurt innocent lives.

Sujata

rsdalal
July 11th, 2002, 06:43 PM
If they are already married, Panchayat should not try to change it in any way.

But at the same time "Did not these parents know before hand that this kind of situation may arise because of these 20 families in that village"