urmiladuhan
September 17th, 2002, 12:02 AM
This thread is in continuation of earlier thread:
("Role of educated Jat women in Jat Community"). The prominent opinion were perhaps:
1) Women may marry outside the community if
the family finds no dowry asking/expecting families outside the community, since dowry demands are on the rise in our community.
2)Jat men/family want to treat the educated
girl no differently than they would treat uneducated girl, as a way to show their dominance. Educated girls expect better. Hence look outside of their community.
Solutions offered to the 1st problem:
1)The groom should take a firm stand of not accepting dowry.
Another comment on the first thread was that
it would hurt the sentiments of the families if the adult children introduced their would be partners to their families. Also, that children
need to be street smart to be able to make such an important decision.
I completely agree with the latter statement (street smart) but i am not sure if i agree entirely with the first statement. Would Jat parents still feel hurt if their children chose Jat partners? If so, then it is simply an ego problem. I think the solution to dowry problem
is dfferent under different situations. In rural environment, i think, it should be the boy who should take a stand. And in city dewelling Jats
it should be the boy and the girl who should take charge of their lives and not forget their obligation to their Kaum by keeping Jat's attitude towards living. This is what educated Jat parents need to ingrain deeply in their children from childhood, i think. On another thought, the way the economic and job situation exists in India, who in their right mind would refuse any extra cash that comes their way, may it be dowry/corruption? I think, it is only when a persons economic needs are met that he/she would probably think about what is morally right. Unless dowry is made social stigma in our community, it would be hard i think to get people refuse dowry under present economic conditions.
May be we should start another thread:
"How to make dowry a social stigme in Jat community?"
("Role of educated Jat women in Jat Community"). The prominent opinion were perhaps:
1) Women may marry outside the community if
the family finds no dowry asking/expecting families outside the community, since dowry demands are on the rise in our community.
2)Jat men/family want to treat the educated
girl no differently than they would treat uneducated girl, as a way to show their dominance. Educated girls expect better. Hence look outside of their community.
Solutions offered to the 1st problem:
1)The groom should take a firm stand of not accepting dowry.
Another comment on the first thread was that
it would hurt the sentiments of the families if the adult children introduced their would be partners to their families. Also, that children
need to be street smart to be able to make such an important decision.
I completely agree with the latter statement (street smart) but i am not sure if i agree entirely with the first statement. Would Jat parents still feel hurt if their children chose Jat partners? If so, then it is simply an ego problem. I think the solution to dowry problem
is dfferent under different situations. In rural environment, i think, it should be the boy who should take a stand. And in city dewelling Jats
it should be the boy and the girl who should take charge of their lives and not forget their obligation to their Kaum by keeping Jat's attitude towards living. This is what educated Jat parents need to ingrain deeply in their children from childhood, i think. On another thought, the way the economic and job situation exists in India, who in their right mind would refuse any extra cash that comes their way, may it be dowry/corruption? I think, it is only when a persons economic needs are met that he/she would probably think about what is morally right. Unless dowry is made social stigma in our community, it would be hard i think to get people refuse dowry under present economic conditions.
May be we should start another thread:
"How to make dowry a social stigme in Jat community?"