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anurag
November 10th, 2002, 01:04 AM
The issue of male/female ratio in haryana was earlier brought up on this board. To continue on the same subject, i found a story in Times of India. Please read:
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/cms.dll/xml/comp/articleshow?artid=27794003

-Anurag

abhishek
November 10th, 2002, 02:07 AM
Disgusting is the one word that comes to my mind on this phenomena. Perhaps the lack of education in the rural areas has started showing its effects.

shokeen123
November 10th, 2002, 04:19 AM
Anurag:

"Prabhuji mein tori binti karoon
Paiyan Paroon bar bar
Agle Janam Mohe Bitiya Na Dije
Narak Dije Chahe Dar..."

Oh, God, I beg of you,
I touch your feet time and again,
Next birth don't give me a daughter,
Give me Hell instead...

This folk song from Uttar Pradesh says it all!

You see every year, as millions of women every where marry, they dream of starting a family, of having their homes filled with tiny cries and the happy laughter of gurgling babies. In our country (as a whole) however, pregnancy is too often followed by the question of whether the unborn child is a girl or a boy.

"Chhore Pe Baje Thali, Chhori Pe Thekere Phoren" is an old sentiment in Haryana, which means "announce the birth of a son by beating of brass plates but at the birth of a daughter break earthen pots." Marriage in the Hindu fold of life is still traditionally considered essential for procreation and the continuation of the ‘vansh’ (lineage). Blessings showered on the bride during a wedding, consist of the line "Ashta Putra Sowbhagyavati Bhave" meaning "May you be blessed with eight sons." Thereafter on conception, mantras from the Atharva Veda, one of four most sacred books of Hinduism, are prescribed for chanting so that if the foetus is female it will be transformed into a male.

The traditional joint family is still very patriarchal. Even though migration and increasing urbanisation has led to more nuclear families, the patriarchal ways are still embedded in the psyche of the Indian men. Despite the legal emancipation of women in our country, their education and employment in modern occupations, the traditional bias regarding female children has not undergone a change.

Indeed in most parts of the country, a son is a major obsession. One son is a cause for joy while two are seen as a lifetime for celebration, the traditional thinking being that if one dies, at least the other will live to take care of the parents. In the bargain, pressures on the woman to produce a son are unending. The girl child is seen as an economic drain as her marriage and dowry crushes her family under huge burden of debts.

National and international public health officials had long predicted these statistics. What we are witnessing now is only the tip of the iceberg, trickle down effect of the menacing practice. It may be a shock to some but it was inevitable phenomenon. Until we give gender equality the much-needed boost, this status quo like many others, will remain so…

This is how I foresee the change:

Parental attitude change-> Education -> Change in social, financial and health status of the family unit.

Sujata

urmiladuhan
November 11th, 2002, 04:31 AM
Sending children to school instead of getting them to work in fields means to loose money as labourers would need to be employed. Moreover the quality of education in villages prepares children poorly for jobs in cities (which are becoming harder to grab for even city educated lads). Farmers are smart enough to know that one in hand is better than 2 in bush... degrees don't necessarily translate into jobs. Dowry custom, less physical stamina (important for agricultural work) and limitations in moving out of village on their own for job purposes all work against village girls. In my opinion the solution to imbalanced sex ratio lies in setting up colleges for girls which will train girls for guaranteed jobs. Once girls get education and jobs, other families will see for themselves that having girls is no monetary burden. This has to be done exclusively for girls from farming community first (for next 20 years or so). Governments come and go. The idea started by one government may get scrapped by next. Educated people need to come forward for this kind of voluntary work. There is so much i think that can be done for our community at this stage.

rsdalal
November 11th, 2002, 05:22 AM
Very Sad and very True.

harvindermalik
November 12th, 2002, 11:54 AM
itihas gwah h betiyo ke liye jaton ka ravaiya thik na rha..phle time mai janm ke bad mar diya karte..ib tec. k karan janm se pahle hi.. pahle bhi shaadi k liye ladki kharid k laate the ab phir se wahi hone wala h...

akdabas
November 12th, 2002, 09:16 PM
:( :( :( bahut buri baat hai ye,

or ak din apani nasamjhi ke kaaran bhaut pachhataenge jab ladaki hi khatam ho jaayengi to kharid kar hi kanha se laenge.

phir vahi kahavat hogi ki :------ab pachhatae hot kya ???? jab chidiya chug gai khet.

devdahiya
January 21st, 2005, 12:11 PM
I can understand the agony of ladies like SUJATA ji . It is disgusting aspect of social life. I am constantly pained at the GOING ONS..................KOI RASTA BATAYEGA MUJHE........PLEASE

raj2rif
January 21st, 2005, 07:07 PM
Dear Dahiya Ji,

The road is simple. We need to educate our females. A boy educated helps one person, a girl educated helps one family. Unfortunately, it is most of our uneducated women folks who resist the birth of a girl more often than not.

While it may look simple as I mentioned, I know it is going to take a lot of time before we can actually, come out of this problem. Any way beginning has already been made, and we do see more girls are going to school now then in past.

rohittewatia
January 22nd, 2005, 02:34 AM
Iss mein aik thread yah koiih section houna chahiyeh jismen kih jobhi naujawan yeh praan karta hai kih voh dahez naheen leyga, apana naam likh kar sankalp karre aur kyoun kih ham sabhi kissi nah kissi tarah aik dusre sey juude hueen hain chaahe voh rishtaah duur kaahi kyoun nahoh. Iss tarah bhale hih hum thodi sankhya main houn, hum aik naaye shuruvaat kih taraf kadam rakhenge.

shokeen123
January 23rd, 2005, 01:06 AM
I can understand the agony of ladies like SUJATA ji . It is disgusting aspect of social life. I am constantly pained at the GOING ONS..................KOI RASTA BATAYEGA MUJHE........PLEASE

Dear Dev:


The reason for my absence from Jatland lately has to do with the hollow feeling inside. I used to write with a lot of passion but that is all it was, just passion, nothing more. Then one day I read the mission of “ Jat Charities” organization and got to meet a real legend in the form of humanity. Although I had met him before, this time it was different - I got to see him up close and personal without any masks of formality or a layer of deception. His commitment to the community, his innermost convictions and heartfelt genuine contagion all shined forth through a slide presentation at a community gathering. Glued to the show, my husband, children and I watched the difference he made to the destinies of the little girls and boys - the philosophy I had only begin to scratch the surface of, and barely followed upon in the truest sense of the word. This generous individual didn’t just talk; he practiced humanity without much fanfare or pomp and show.

Earlier I used to think of strategies to help our folks in the villages, but didn’t have a charter to follow, now I know how to make difference in one life at a time. When I looked at some of the grass root projects funded through this legend’s selfless efforts it was easy to bestow all my faith in that direction rather than sit idle or not do anything. The projects under his watchful eyes, all of which are intended to help the neediest, are sure to succeed. I know so because where there is no conflict of egos (for personal fame or gain) the philosophy preemptive of greed and personal ownership, there is bound to be progress. I now periodically contribute whatever I can through the Jat organization to help educate the village boys and girls.

We can not solve all the problems of the world, but through small scale concerted efforts we can attain tangible gains for our community. It was sort of an epiphany for me to take stock of my own convictions and reevaluate my deeper human side. I did not want to write anymore because the more I wrote without ever implementing or investing in those virtues, the emptier I felt. We could talk all we want till the cows come home, but such lip service or compassion if doesn’t meet its appropriate end, leads to sheer desperation and hopelessness. For me personally not being able to implement those thoughts and convictions into actions was an ideology riddled with hollowness and without any substance. My heart and soul are still with Jatland, but not the one accessible to the “haves” through click of the mouse, I am talking about the “have nots” in the rural Jat villages.

So long...

Sujata

PS: The legend I am referring to is none other than Mr. Ram Arya.

ajaygahlawat
January 23rd, 2005, 04:35 AM
I, sometimes, just refuse to bother. More in self defense aginst the pain it causes than anything else. My rationalization for this hapless behavior is generally .. "Things have a way of sorting themselves out".

How?

This gender ratio gap may perhaps give the females a bit more in terms of negotiation capabilities. Example: Something you would have noticed in the Sonali ko bachaao thread that there is such a huge lack of competent girls that whenever one a spotted, so many hopefulls show up. Despite disagreeing with her black homour, I had thorough fun reading that thread.

The strength of the liberated woman might encourage some people to shift camps and eventually offer equal growth opportunities to the girls as well.

Those that don't learn, don't get spouses, and they are sorted out by chaca Darwin :) . What I mean is that they don't get spouses, and do not have kids to subject to death, or deprivation.

But Chacha Darwin takes a generation at the minimum. What about the short term? Not sure if I have the answer.

devdahiya
January 23rd, 2005, 08:11 AM
My dear Sujata Ma'm and AJAY BHAI,

I read your latest post with great interest.It reminds me of a famous saying in our own Jat belt," BAJJA BAJJTA HAI TAB PERR OOTHH HI JAYA KARTA HAI." I know for sure that you have a burning desire and a go in you to do good to the people around in more then one way. I can well understand the situation of conflict within.


You need not to feel hollow at all,incase you are not able to translate your all thoughts into reality and mind you that is not possible always.history is full of such examples where great people said somthing and dogs barked in unison but then that is where the difference lies between the two unique catagories of people..........One that doesn't get disheartened against any odd and the one who gives up as soon as first high wind blows. Passion is not the virtue all are born with,rather God reserves it for a chosen handfuls.


I would like to communicate and work with you more often if you allow me to do so and i can assure you that we will make a difference of our liking.............I beleive," IF WE CAN NOT DO BIGGER THINGS IN BIGGER WAY WE CAN SURELY DO SMALLER THINGS IN BIGGER WAY.".....................THANX FOR EDUCATING ME IN REGARD TO RAM ARYA JI.
IF I AM NOT WRONG IS HE THE SAME PERSON WHO HAS A SCHOOL IN PATEL NAGAR BAHADURGARH? SUJATA JI IF YOU DON'T VISIT JATLAND REGULARLY THEN YOU WILL BE DOING A BIGGEST DIS-SERVICE TO THE CAUSE AND I FOR ONE WILL MISS THE FIRE OF HEART................hope you are listening!
PS: AJAY BHAI TRY MARRY A JAT GIRL ONLY...........OUR GIRLS ARE THE BEST....................REST YOU ARE THE BOSS BHAI.

WARM REGARDS

ajaygahlawat
January 23rd, 2005, 05:48 PM
Dear Dev,

Although a bit disenchanted by the lack of execution here, Sujata ma'am is still with Jatland. I earnestly hope that she continues to bring out the pasion for the causes.

I am equally worried about a whole list of competent people that were once active, and are now apathetic to say the least. I quiet agree with the baja saying that you brought up. Guess if we start executing, people may join up again.

Jat girls are surely the best. But they are so scarce, and that is the whole point of this thread.

Kind regards,
Ajay

nrao
January 24th, 2005, 12:40 PM
I read this on BBC today. Name of the show is "Atmajaa". Based on this news report, it is a pretty good show and creates a lot of awareness among its viewers about the issue of female foeticide. Some viewer comments towards the end of the article are indicative of the reach and effect of the show.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4173597.stm

I think this show could be just like the excellent movie "Dhoop" by Ashwini Chaudhary, which created a lot of awareness about the war heroes and their families.

jagmohan
January 24th, 2005, 02:29 PM
Sujata Ji is on the dot as in most cases. In expressing her feelings most honestly, she has proven the point that it is better to do something than just 'discuss'. Discussions surely help people understand various facets of an issue but then we all know what the problems are. We also know where the solution lies in most cases. But the most difficult part has and will be SETTING PERSONAL EXAMPLES and supporting the efforts of another human being.

I endorse her views 100% on Jat Charities is general and Mr Arya Ji in particular. I can say this because I have had first hand experience of seeing 'KARMA' in action in a village school in Kalirawan.

I am glad that right thinking individuals like Sujata Ji have joined the genuine efforts. I have no doubt that this WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE in the life of rural children.

Regards,

JS Malik

singhkapoor
January 27th, 2005, 09:45 AM
Dear Sujata

I sincerely appreciate your expression of gratitude towards NAJC in general and Mr. Arya in particular. We are glad that NAJC’s 10th Anniversary celebration dinner on Dec 11, 2004 played an instrumental role in leading you to revelatory manifestation of your inner-self.

Welcome aboard NAJC - “The Jatville Express” that is scheduled to make a stop at every needy jat’s doorstep and determined to make a positive difference in his/her life – your driver is none other than "RAM" (RAM who???..... of course Ram S. Arya).

On behalf of NAJC, I thank you for not only your laudatory narrative on jatland but also generous contribution to the “NAJC - Scholarship Fund” and the “NAJC - Tsunami Relief Fund”.

I agree that bringing up a topic for discussion helps one in forming opinion on any given issue but we need more and more workers who can get cracking. NAJC can help such folks to get the show on the road through its drive – “Just Do It!!!…..Very Simple”. We are very fortunate to have people like Dr. Jaipal Rathi, Prof. Jagbir Singh, the Ahlawat family and so many others who contribute to the NAJC cause in every which way possible.

I very enthusiastically second you on your perception of Mr. Arya. He is one of a kind – a gem extraordinaire!! The guy is so down to earth and simple that sometimes you ask yourself whether this is the same person about whom you hear and read so much – no conceit…no narcissism…no egotism whatsoever. Gosh!! I wish I were able to partake of a small fraction of his humility.

Sincerely

NAJC
www.najcharities.org

rameshlakra
January 27th, 2005, 05:12 PM
dear sujata ji
Makes a lot of sense, when u say that it makes u empty when u talk and talk and do nothing.

secondly, The way u and kapoor ji expressed ram arya ji,leaves no doubt in my mind that he is above us and which makes me quite motivated.

please keep us informed,of his homecoming, it would be an honour to meet him.

It is a good suggestion to make JATLAND a dowry free website,
WE CAN HAVE A PLEDGE PROMINENTLY INCLUDED IN THE MEMBERSHIP TERMS.

Education, no doubt is the solution, but reaching out to the villages voluntarily is as daunting a task which requires genuinely concerened jats.

thanks for letting us know such good jats

ramsarya
January 28th, 2005, 09:33 PM
Dear Sujata, Jagmohan, Kapoor and Ramesh:
Thanks for kind words for NAJC and me. Please, pl do not put me on pedestal, fall can be very hard. Yes NAJC does have a very dedicated and committed to community service volunteers. We are small in numbers but have achieved a good amount and always trying to do more. Actions feed from each others work and it is a very healhty situation at present. It is a team work and credit if any goes to the team. You read the postings by Kapoor Singh on this site, one of the members of NAJC and now we also have Sujata. I request Sujata to please continue posting your very passionate thoughts on his site. Thoughts do inspire people like me to do something for the community and I am sure it trudges along some other members to take some actions. We at NAJC welcome you and your family to be part of our effort to help our community.
If anybody would like to know more about the activities of NAJC, please come to one of our general meetings, usually held in April and December. Or you may contact Kapoor Singh or me directly. Please get involved.
Dear Mr. Dev Dahiya - I am not involved in any school in Bahadurgarh. I live in NJ, US and have been for the last 35 years and do visit my native village Kalirawan, Hisar twice a year.

ramksehrawat
January 29th, 2005, 08:04 AM
Has genetics to do anything with this low per centage of girl child ? Today, we blame sex determination tests, but this problem in community has been there for ages. Could someone analyse this problem from that angle.