Gender Equality............????

[devdahiya]

GENDER EQUALITY


The debate of gender equality remains a focal issue in our society. A handful of women in India relentlessly misguide their sisters by a ruthless tirade against male dominance. There is no secret that women all over the world remained suppressed and were kept confined to the homes. To that an extent a concern towards providing them with opportunities for their all round development and growth could be well within the parameters of women liberation but making a hue and cry on every score as regards to their status in society vis-Ã*-vis men is nothing but hypocrisy and a far cry. While creating mankind the creator was judicious in bestowing the two sexes with different characteristics because he felt it to be correct that way. Let us examine the issue realistically. [
Equals cannot be compatible: Two equals cannot be compatible and hence God created two sexes differently. Qualities and strength of each sex are so minutely interwoven that we the mortals can’t even question that. God had been kind enough in distributing the strengths and weaknesses to both sex in a manner, best suited to the existence of mankind. He gave a soft touch to woman and made man a little rustic in comparison and mind you both are strengths in their own ways.

Total liberation is a myth and is dangerous: Some women have a one point agenda and that is to condemn men. As per them it is the man who do not allow them to come up . If you peep into the history, all the women who had made the difference to history were aided , counseled, helped, loved, and appreciated by men also. So to blame the men for all ills of women is nothing but distortion of the facts. Total liberation of either sex will lead to chaos and life will come to a standstill.

Suppression of women is not by men but by women dumbness: If there are pockets where women are not being treated well or are treated as an object, then please don’t blame men. It is their silent disposition and indecisiveness that puts them in a position they are in. They ought to stand up and voice their concerns in a just manner and I am sure a collective voice coupled with resolve can never be subdued.

SHAKE HANDS: If small problems do exist it is not because men do not love, adore, or admire women it is basically because of pre-conceived notions about opposite sex. Men and women have to co-exist and the way to that is through understanding of each other and not through spreading rumors about themselvs. Few political women do it sheer out of habit to garner votes and to remain in limelight. Ask them about their husbands and their equation with them and they will shower all praises on them. So, is it all other men [other than their own] who are MCPs and are suppressing women. Please wake up and shake hand with men and be happy.

BOTH ARE EQUALLY GOOD AND BAD: Examples of various deeds performed by men and women can be found in history since inception and figure available will suggest that both have performed as good or as bad at all times. That brings us to square one. Talks will be talks but the fact of the matter is that men and women can never be same, so hype about equality is nothing but absurdity. Both are equally equal and unequally unequal. Let us wish both sex a better understanding and unlimited love and togetherness.

[rkumar]

Jai Siaram......Bhai Devender tu kahan chipaa thaa ub tak. ..Let me tell you that my views are 100% identical on this issue and I have been on records many times in past on Jatland..

Rajendra

[lrburdak]

Devendra ji,
I fully agree with you.

[shokeen123]

Dev, my dear friend, what a balanced, well-tempered and poignant statement about Adam and Eve! You are right again; a man cannot exist without a woman and a woman without a man vis-Ã*-vis. They were born to complement each other. And on that we have had several sincere, well meaning discussions and even made a few strides until an impulsive bunch (not really a bunch, just one) put in their ten cents and hijack the discussion to suit their fancy - and in our dear Sonali’s words all these discussions end up being nothing more than cyber dust. The ideas lie dormant in individual minds without ever conforming to a consensus! Looks like this time we might – just might be able to continue our dialogue. However, I will keep my options open and the moment I sense stupidity I will make a quite exit.

Dev, at the outset I must admit I truly admire the spirit in you. Such is the compassion that needs to be fostered in the minds of youth to bridge the gap between the “haves and “have-nots.� Now the concept of gender equality in the context you have implied would be fair, except that we have huge disparities in the social, educational, and economical status of the two genders. And by your own admission “God gave a soft touch to woman and made man a little rustic in comparison and mind you both are strengths in their own ways.� Then should these women slog in the fields or Haryana (or labor in factories all over India for that matter) and not gain status of a provider and be part of decision making for her family, herself and her children? Should she not be righteous of the sustainable development through education? Should she not be able to realize her full potential? Should a boy be sent to school and a girl kept at home solely for household chores?

In a family set up gender equality means equal treatment and opportunities for both, boy and girl child, but in a marriage gender equality implies equal partnership. Its comparable to a moral contract between the husband and wife - they must work together to provide a good home and sound environment to their offspring. If both spouses work (that’s a common scenario these days) it is even more important to be sensitive to the family’s needs. If you tell me that the husband must unconditionally be perceived as king of the domain and the dutiful wife must adapt to a submissive subservient role as a doormat that would be pure hypocrisy in the name of marriage! Such kings need to seek refuge in the Himalayas. And similarly if (an educated) woman abuses her empowerment to gain undue status she must leave the institution of marriage… She is not a fit partner let alone a fit mother! But the good news is that I know a lot of these liberated women to be good providers, productive citizens and supportive family members adapting many roles within the society.

I like people who practice what they preach and have always tried to follow that example myself. One such example would be the day I sacrificed higher education for the sake of my children. If I had put my Ph.D. ahead of my daughter fifteen years ago, I would have been indeed a very selfish, liberated woman and perhaps even faculty in some capacity at Yale. I was enrolled in the Ph.D. program at Yale, but when I reassessed my family needs, I chose to accompany my husband to Johns Hopkins where he had been offered a faculty position. What I wanted more than anything in the world was to be a wife and a mother first. I have a feeling that my Ph.D. won’t be on hold for too long though …

In the final analysis mine is not a text book example of gender equality, it is a chapter straight from my own life. So there is no such thing as liberation, it’s a state of mind. And even liberation comes with a price. It is an honest conversation with oneself and decent sensitive people can always find a medium for the welfare of all.

Sujata

[indian]

I quite agree with this...

"Both are equally equal and unequally unequal."

[devdahiya]

My Dear Sujata Ma'm,

In All Humality,i Would Like To Thank You For Handing Over Your Valuable Words Of Praise To Me.your Inspiration Will Not Be Wasted Out.let Us Discuss The Subject Matter In Details And Enrich Ourselves And The Community At Large Without Paying Heed To Minor Irritants.i Expect You To Hold The Fort And Bang On Regardless.


With Warm Regards...




Dev

[sonam]

I quite appreciate the initiatives taken for the upliftment of not only needy women but also of needy jat men. The idea is not to make both the genders equal but to respect the differences. That in itself is a big step. There is no problem in sacrificing in the name of the family as long as the decision lies with the person and is not forced. Keep the good work going.

[devdahiya]

My Dear Sonam Jee,


We Are Aware And Live To The Problems,faced By Our Woman In General And Ara Making A Serious Bid To Creat A Plateform,where In We Can Take Some Concrete Steps In Addressing Those Ticklish Issues.............stay Alert






Dev

[dahiyars]

Dear All

One should concede that understanding gender relations in all their diverse forms is not easy for policy makers and learned intellectuals. Thus, the main contribution of outside interventions like this analysis and debate should be to make the people conscious of the all dimensions that they have to take into account when dealing with gender in its local specifics. For this type of delicate and serious debate there should be minimum protocol that we will be generous and open to listen to what others say. What we say may not be final. The first thing when we want to debate the gender issue is that at least we should agree to that we cosider woman a human being like man and not an object. Only then the further opinion is possible. Do we agree?
Gender—The Concept
Let us start with the very basic. The term “Gender” can be juxtaposed with that of sex. While sex is something that is related to biology, gender is socio-cultural in nature. Gender relations are socially constituted rather than derived from biology. And the gender roles are man made which distinguish between the masculine and feminine qualities. Both gender relations and roles are the product of power relations in the society. The division of labour in the society i.e. production ascribed to men and reproduction ascribed to women is also the result of gender discrimination. And a marked contrast of domination and subordination is highlighted in the man and woman relationship. Gender studies are something related to this relationship. In this context it can be said that a fruitful study should analyse not only men or women but also the relationships between them.
Women in developing countries like India have unsatisfied basic needs in education, employment, health and the law. Women have low employment rates in the formal sector of the economy, and their aggregate salaries are still lower than those of men. Women are obviously not a homogenous group; differences emerge in terms of social class, ethnicity, religious affiliation and age. Consequently they face a variety of conditions and discriminations which can be debated if we want.
Dr.R.S.Dahiya

[shokeen123]

How to promote equal opportunities (gender equality):

The Genesis:

The next time you go to India, visit your own village and do the following needs assessment:

Village Leadership Level:

Talk to the Khap members and insist on sending every girl child to school;
Create a network of trustworthy influential friends who can exert pressure on the village leader year round;
Follow up on the progress through written or phone correspondence;

Village School Level:

Visit your own village school(s) and talk to the schoolteachers and do some fact finding;
Help open primary girls school where there is no school at all;
If your village girls travel outside for high school-extend your middle school to a high school;
Ask teachers to identify bright students with high intellectual potential;
Get schoolteachers involved in the process;
Ask teachers to identify resources needed to further children’s education (they know best);
Adopt a student (not literally) and pledge for one student’s tuition for higher studies;
Identify educated people in the village to help with college and career guidance;
Insist teachers to foster assertiveness in girls to be able to make education/career decisions;
Recommend an end-of-high-school individual parent teacher meeting for educational guidance;
Insist on parent-teacher brainstorming for the best action plan for individual student;
Insist on teacher recommendation of strategies to implement the individual action plans;
Develop and maintain an ongoing direct communication with school principal/teachers;

Extended Family/Community Level:

Talk to your own family (male) members and suggest an education plan for all children within the nuclear or extended family;
Develop and maintain communication with your nephews or nieces in need of educational help;
Keep a tab on their progress;
Talk to the family members of pseudo educated Jats to help break the chain of unemployment;

Definition of a pseudo-educated Jat:

He is progress in making, usually a son from a lower middle class family, one who having exhausted all his father’s/family’s cash income has not amounted to much of anything. However, before ending nowhere, has been proud owner of the latest model of Maruti, state of the art PC, and in all probably has attended college for a year (couldn’t take exams because of something more pressing). Thinking he has a year’s college education under his belt he may have even tried serious job hunting but is turned down by the potential employment. In between he has tried several short-term training courses but none to help him in the long run. So what next?

The proud father impressed with youthful looks and bravado (for having wrecked the brand new Maruti) of his offspring, is left with only one feasible alternative - the all familiar once-in-a-lifetime-surefire-remedy! And lo and behold to everyone’s happiness a beautiful bride is found for our prince charming and once again all is well! And that’s when we get the first glimpse of our pseudo-educated Jatni!

Definition of a Pseudo-educated Jatni

She is a sweet, obedient girl child from a lower middle class family with several siblings competing for similar needs. From her very birth she is taught to uphold the family dignity and prestige at all costs. She is fortunate enough to attend the local girls’ school however, long before her adolescent years she begins to adapt to a challenging role of her mother’s helper. Together with the Jat mother (whose primary preoccupation is to do the most with the least to run the empire), sharpens her abilities beyond comprehension to adapt to any and all eventualities. Pseudo Jatni is acutely aware of the undercurrent (one day she will be leaving them) that such departure will come at a cost to her family in the form of wedding expenses and dowry. She sympathizes with them and scarifies her personal dreams and aspirations.

The newly married Jat girl now finds herself not only socially, educationally and financially restrained, but also responsible for well being of another idle human. She is also charged with fulfilling her mother’s musings (to portray the all-important role of a “Khandani Bahu�) so she caters to everyone’s expectations in her newly adopted household. There are a lot of “do’s� and “don’ts� in her race to winning this all-important confidence, and because she is there to stay, she learns to adapt and accept quickly and in the process forgets whatever was left of her identity. Soon there is a child on the horizon and the combination of a pseudo-educated father and culturally restrained mother gives birth to a vicious cycle, a new breed of ignorance and illiteracy.

You think I am kidding or being condescending towards members of our extended Jat family? No not really, such stories are rampant at the neighborhoods near us - just look around! The only way this cycle of ‘pseudo education’ can be broken is if the adolescent girl puts her foot down and becomes independent through education. There is no harm in being the family helper as long as her wishes are also honored. I have known of helpful parents who have allowed their daughters independence, including higher education before marriage, and I have known of considerate parents-in-law who have allowed education to their daughter-in law despite her new role as a bride.

I do not have hard data but it is conceivable to assume a large majority of youth (without proper and timely guidance) fall under his category. A large number of them do complete high school even college education, but it is often done for matrimony purposes and not necessarily to aid in making the youth self-reliant. As a result we witness a lot of idleness, early marriages, and unemployment. Innocent children are brought to life without consideration to the pitiful circumstances or securing their future.

Take stock and charge of your own extended family...It can be done!

With optimism

Sujata

[devdahiya]

My Dear Sujata Ji,

I Am Personally Greatful To U For Your Practical Suggestion.........please Stay Tuned................thanx Again











Dev

[sonam]

Dear Sujata ji,
I quite agree with your suggestions and notions of pseudo-educated jats. Once again I can say that lack of appreciation and the right atmosphere at home for education is a big cause for all this pseudoism. And if sometimes some child doesnot have the aptitude for studying then it should not be forced on him or her and let them realize their strongpoint and go forward in that area to reach their heights. most important thing is progress in whichever feild.
I feel that many jats this time have lot of money but not the necessary education. Channelizing this maybe to develop enterpreunal skills for self employment and creating jobs for other needy fellow community people rather than wasting away the resources with idleness or struggling to compete with educated jats for progress is a very productive appraoch for our community in general.

[cooljat]

Hello! All,

I’m really grateful to Dahiya sir for posting sucha great article n to Suajata Bhuaji as well for illuminate it with sucha great words, thanks a ton to both of u, keep it up!

I always say men n women r same but they both have their own differences.
They both must be treated equally as they both r human-being.
So we all must keep liberal attitude in an open mind.

Salutations to u both!

Take care,

Rock on,
Jit.

[devdahiya]

My dear Jitendra,


Thanx a lot for your appriciation.It gives me strength...gratefully










DEV

[devdahiya]

Dear Sujata ji,
I quite agree with your suggestions and notions of pseudo-educated jats. Once again I can say that lack of appreciation and the right atmosphere at home for education is a big cause for all this pseudoism. And if sometimes some child doesnot have the aptitude for studying then it should not be forced on him or her and let them realize their strongpoint and go forward in that area to reach their heights. most important thing is progress in whichever feild.
I feel that many jats this time have lot of money but not the necessary education. Channelizing this maybe to develop enterpreunal skills for self employment and creating jobs for other needy fellow community people rather than wasting away the resources with idleness or struggling to compete with educated jats for progress is a very productive appraoch for our community in general.




Needs further inputs specially from our Women folks...!